As I’ve said before the average length of an erect human penis is 131.2mm, I guess only a lady can tell you if that 0.2mm is important to her or not?
Self indulgent musings, but hey.
Women! This is how they seduce you, they smile sweetly whilst playing the giggly eighteen year old girl with their puppy eyes and pouting rosy red lips, dexterous fingers working their sensual magic curled around my penis and then charge me £70 for the pleasure of said sexy massage with a happy ending (it’s the happy ending you’re paying for), I honestly don’t think women fully understand (or utilize) the sexual power they have over men!
Blah blah blah………. before I meander down a road of self indulgent brag fest, I should like to say I ONLY ever follow female Bloggers aged 35-55 quite simply because they’ve lived a life good and bad with stories to tell, experiences to share, heartbreaking or hilarious honesty you’ll not find written by a nineteen year old nymphet, who’s biggest worry in life is finding her prince charming, that elusive soulmate they’re utterly convinced is waiting be discovered, to whisk them off their feet, fall in love, marry and give them lots of cute babies. Young female bloggers are so upbeat positive and adorable yet bland naïve and sometimes wearing, you can only read so many tales of the day her pet bunny rabbit escaped (happened) or a drought of suitable f***-buddies on Tinder before their Blog becomes well you get the idea bless them 🙂 .
You want Real Life warts and all? Then Follow a middle aged female writer for insight real life and hilarity! (Way tooo many metaphors in my postings, have some imagination Andrew!)
So how to tie the threads of a self indulgent introduction, well several week’s ago whilst reading a lady’s Blog comment thread, I noticed another woman’s reply ‘how many people are happy with their own bodies?’ And me being me I just couldn’t help myself replying ‘yeh the length of my dick’……….. I got away with that conceit because the writer in question has a naughty sense of humour, and now I’m reminded of two comments said by ladies I’ve slept with……………. “can we do it with you on top Andrew because you’re long and it hurts”, and with another “I like to ride cowgirl cause I like it deep”……hmm no accounting for women’s quirky likes or fetishes but I am rather proud of the length of my penis….just sayin lol.
And while I’m here tell me, do women’s pussy’s actually drip wet as all those erotic writers keep telling us?
But then all men are in love with their dicks, insecure worrying as to said girth and length, anxious they cannot keep the ‘old man’ hard as iron for as long as their partner wishes. Do you know sex isn’t always enjoyable for a guy when he’s fretting if the lady is enjoying herself or not. I’ve ‘slept’ a missionary position performing a rhythmically pumping stroke yet enduring an out of body experience as my mind and concentration delays climaxing or if you wanna get mystical about it, reaching that joyous two second nirvana, nature’s signal for a groin convulsing release of creamy ejaculate deep inside the core of her body. I’ve often laid there imagining how close the tip of my penis is to certain lady’s internal organs, so near and touchable but for a thin membrane of skin.
I’ve enjoyed writing about women and sex and yes I’m very proud of the length of my Penis 160mm is above average, not gigantic in girth mind you but I’m more than happy when gazing down upon ‘him’, did you know there’s a Pornstar named Mandingo who’s blessed with a 300mm BBC (work it out please!) and from what few videos I have watched these black gentlemen understand ‘how to use them’ yet just as incredible are the white skinned blondes who’ll physically take such a great length………………..wow what troopers! Anyways I’ve a posting on here themed Penis facts and just so as you know, extensive internet research informs me 160mm is above average which (sporting a beaming smile) makes me very VERY happy.
Btw current political correctness states referring to a guy as black skinned with good reason is ok, and have you deduced what BBC stands for yet?
Research the internet asking the reasons why men are so obsessed with a lady’s boobs (I have been and I am lol) one fact’s for sure, Scientists have never satisfactorily explained men’s curious breast fixation, for all the cultural emotional and ‘weird’ theories, no one can really explain why I am so obsessed by this certain part of a female’s physique.
Jeeze where to begin with YET another lady’s breast themed posting, there’s been SO many over this past two years, many true tales of happy times spent fondling adorable women’s breasts, shared anecdotes after having been busted, caught unawares gazing fixated by plunging cleavage, captivated by small boobs or fulsome milky bags of fat drooping from a woman’s chest…………. but why on earth why? This requires further introspection!
Disclaimer, I blog for fun! Bosom postings amuse and entertain my boy-child sensibilities but yes I agree this isn’t for everyone 🙂
So where to begin?
To be honest I’ve given up on my Holy Grail quest to seek out the definitive reason why (because none exists) though I am seriously perplexed, so where better place to start than research 3 fun facts lifted from the internet……. I’m trusting they’re not fake.
A Canadian biologist called ‘Bruce Bagemihl’ noted several primate species, including humanity’s close relative the ‘bonobo’, have been observed stimulating their own nipples while masturbating. (Err hold on, I’m not interested why women gain pleasure playing with their tits.)
Fun fact 2
A study was done on 66 Englishmen who were hungry also 58 who had just eaten, and surprise surprise, the hungry men preferred bigger boobs compared to the ones who had just eaten (that goes someway to explaining the comfort and nurture theory.)
Fun fact 3
And to this one I can 100% attest, “Boys don’t learn in the playground that breasts are something that they should be interested in. It’s biological and deeply engrained in our brain,” write’s an expert lol in his book.
He goes onto say, “In fact, research indicates that when we’re confronted with breasts, or even breast-related stimuli, like bras, we’ll start making bad decisions” so yes I agree, we men are biologically drawn to breasts and I guess due to sexual imagery in TV advertising as a young child, I was trained in my informative years to find them erotic, learned to view boobs as sexually attractive whether that be long and pendulous, or pointy perky hemispherical tits………….. I’ve fondled a fair few pairs in my life time and to be completely honest, large or small the size of her breasts (as long as they’re real!) Doesn’t actually matter, though if pushed for preference I do love squidgy slightly saggy and pendulous.
Confused? I am, though I’m leaning towards nature nurture and biological to explain away my WordPress’s boob obsession, cue another piece of expert analysis lifted from the to be trusted ‘HuffPost’:
Two researchers (you really don’t require their names do you!) Believed that the male attraction to a pair of boobs goes beyond being:
‘a good, full cleavage indicates to a man that a woman is in good health and an excellent choice to bear and raise his children’, a boy’s love of boobs develops in childhood, when a mother breastfeeds her child, the infant becomes the most important thing in the world, and during breastfeeding a bonding chemical Oxytocin is also released into the mother’s milk and consumed by the baby. A biological bonding takes place, makes nursing a feel-good experience for mother and child and it forges a very important bond between the two.’
“This bond is not only the most beautiful of all social bonds, it can also be the most enduring, lasting a lifetime,” wrote the authors.
“Essentially then, when a man sees, touches or massages a woman’s breasts, it sparks the same series of brain events as nursing – the feel good chemical is released in the man’s brain and he is drawn to the breasts because subconsciously he remembers the feel-good experience of nursing as a child. Any interaction between a man and a pair of boobs then helps to bond a man to his female other half.”
One glaring problem with this theory is, my mother didn’t breastfeed me!…….. I don’t know this for 100% sure having never asked my mother! But I’m reliably reminded she used the formula ‘Cow and Gate’ brand. So yes I wasn’t breastfed though I’m utterly convinced my captivation can be attributed to nature and biology programming me that way, and I’d suggest watching many hours of TV as a child trained me to appreciate breasts sexually.
Now I’ll share with you my earliest recollection of seeing a pair of REAL boobs for the first time! That’s such an easy one to answer, and it wouldn’t have been from the television because when I was a child Britain had only 3 terrestrial TV channels and one of those would have been dedicated to the arts! Not forgetting back in the day we had a very strict ‘watershed’ with anything vaguely adult only being broadcast after bedtime, if ever!
Close my eyes and I see a young lady jogging toward my 8 year old self as if viewing a home movie from my childhood, there I am sat just inside the opening of a campsite tent whilst holidaying as a cubscout, and this’ll be the only image of a fun weekend spent with 30 other young boys I’ll remember. Although I do recollect she was one of our Leader’s wives, alas her face is lost in the midst’s of time but I do remember her as youthful and pretty and I certainly cannot remember if she saw me crouched watching.
So yes picture my childhood vision running through a grassy field toward me, wind blowing her auburn hair and wearing a blue cotton blouse with only the top buttons holding both flaps closed, when for one fleeting second a combination of her half stumbling through rough ground, perhaps a girlish jump in the air caught with a strong breeze in her face, the wind capturing her untethered flaps of fabric blowing them upwards and open, to reveal yes a flash of two underboobs, no nipples mind, just the pink profile of her two lower fulsome breasts for she wore no bra! Who knows why? Perhaps she was jogging towards the showers having left the delicate in her tent!
So there you, over 40 years later close my eyes and I see my scout mistresses’ boobs and that’s my earliest childhood recollection. Fabulous! Who needs the internet to corrupt young minds?
Here are 10 probable reasons why, as a woman, you might catch me looking at your chest rather than your face.
1. Breasts Are Great to Look At
Men love looking at the breasts for the very reason that they are great to look at. Whether they are small or big, breasts are one of the first things a man sees in a woman.
Though it is offensive, but men can’t resist taking a peek!
(Hmm offensive? That’s as maybe, but of the many times I’ve been caught peeking or gazing in the street I’ve only ever been smiled at, never received a harsh word.)
2. Breasts Add Grace and Poise
Breasts are one of the few body parts which are curvaceous. Men don’t have any curves on their bodies, which makes being hard and straight a sign of masculinity.
On the other hand, curviness is a symbol for womanhood which adds grace and poise to the way a woman carries herself.
3. Breasts Represent Fertility
Since a long time back, it has been believed that men are attracted to women who are healthy and are able to reproduce.
Breasts are a sign of fertility as they portray the notion that the woman would be able to bear children as well as nourish them.
4. Breasts Offer Visual Stimulation
One of the main differences between men and women is that men are stimulated visually. They get ‘turned on’ just by looking at a woman’s body. Firm and perky breasts catch the attention of every man wherever a woman goes and stimulates him visually.
(Hmm now I’m reminded of an anecdote a colleague retold me at work one day, when he first met his wife to be in a pub she said to him….. “would you please stop staring at my tits!” Lol I’ve nothing to add 😀 .)
5. Breasts Are the Key to Second Base
Most men don’t know about this but those who do use it to their advantage. The breasts are the key to second base as they are located close to the libido.
Fondling and playing with them leads to sexual arousal. (This is one of the major reasons why men love breasts!)
6. Breasts Lead to Great Foreplay
Breasts are a crucial part of foreplay. In fact, foreplay is incomplete without a little fondling, sucking or kissing on the breasts.
Apart from the breasts, there is little else a man could play with before the actual act.
7. Breasts Are Nice to Touch
They are soft and supple, tempting men to grab them.
Men love how the breasts feel in their hands. While some of them can get wild and start twitching the nipples, most men are gentle with breasts, holding them with love and care.
(Never a truer word was written, the moment a lady removes her bra and allows me to fondle, my touch is as delicate as handling a piece of fine China!………. Err except later when she’s riding me cowgirl and I’m squeezing so hard I can feel pointy hard nipples pressing into my palms.)
8. Breasts Are Mysterious
From the moment a guy sees a girl her breasts become a source of mystery for him. He spends most of his time thinking about and visualizing what hides beneath the clothing. Until he gets to actually see them, the mystery is a cause of intrigue for him.
9. No Cleavage without Breasts
The cleavage is perhaps the best sight a man could want to see. Low-cut tops or dresses that show a little too much at the top are highly attractive for men.
Without breasts, there would be no cleavage, so men love the whole package.
10. Breasts Are Comforting
For some reason, men find breasts comforting. They love resting their heads on them. The very sight of them can make their bad mood disappear.
In fact, there has been a study which shows that men who get to see breasts for at least 15 minutes a day live longer and healthier!
I’ll not disagree with any of those reasons because well, all I do know for whatever reason whether that be cultural biological learned whether that be ‘nature or nurture’, I’m captivated by a woman’s breasts! So have I answered my titled question? Yes and no but then again after surfing the internet this afternoon, strikes me whether you are an ‘expert’ or women’s magazine columnist, no one can truly explain the male obsession with a ladies boobs!
And finally! I’ll leave you with a bra comment written by a lady on one of my previous blog postings, and I do so love reading boob perspectives from a lady! (And NO I’m not divulging either her name or which of the 289 postings).
‘I hate bras… I wear them to work because, work. I wear them if I’m ‘in public’ and the temperature is ‘normal’ for the U.K. when I get home the bra comes off. Literally as I put my bag down, shoes off, bra off. And often it doesn’t go back on again. I wear a lot of dresses in summer, without underwear- at all. If the temperature goes above 20°c the bra comes off.
If I see men looking at my breasts I make eye contact & smile & walk on. Sometimes I even laugh (I know, that’s mean but hey…’
Tagged #Just For Fun and #sex-education info with no… and I do mean NO accompanying dick selfies, that’s just plain disgusting and just so as you know I’ve never texted one in my life nor ever will.
Regular readers to this WordPress just might remember a recent Birthday post, lol probably not, well one particular phrase has been ‘pricking’ my imagination ever since…..
“But I can still achieve an erection so ‘phew’ life’s not all bad.”
……… so I guess that makes this evening’s a prompted response? Incidentally pictured below a cartoon lifted from the net……. made me smile, 🙂
A question for you, do dick jokes make you laugh? If the answer’s yes, I’ve 3 Male erection jokes lifted from the internet and hopefully you’ll find them as amusing as I did 🙂… though keep in mind I’ve the sense of humour of a 13year old, but then haven’t all men?
1: The Priest and the Nun
A Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.
After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation and after a long period of silence, the Priest spoke:
‘Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.’ ‘I know, Father. In fact, I don’t think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two..’ ‘I agree,’ says the Father. ‘Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?’ ‘Anything, Father.’ ‘I have never seen a woman’s breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours.’ ‘Well, under the circumstances I don’t see that would do any harm.’
The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty:
‘Father, could I ask something of you?’ ‘Yes, Sister?’ ‘I have never seen a man’s penis. Could I see yours?’ ‘I suppose that would be OK,’ the Priest replied, lifted his robe, and almost immediately he was sporting a huge erection. ‘Sister, you know that if I insert this in the right place, it can breath new life!’ ‘Is that true Father?’ ‘Yes, it is, Sister.’ ‘Oh Father, that’s wonderful … now stick it in our camel and let’s get the fuck out of here!’
2: A man goes to the Doctor for a prostate exam.
The Doctor puts on his rubber glove and asks the man to bend over, he inserts a finger in his ass and begins the checkup.
After a minute or so the doctor says, “Don’t worry, it’s very normal to get an erection during this exam.”
A little confused, the man turned and replied, “But I don’t have an erection?”
Doctor. “Yeh I know… but I do!”
3: Two guys standing on the end of a pier, peeing.
“Man that water’s cold.”
“Sure is — deep, too.”
All very tame reading, anyways they made me laugh and I did enjoy the Nun and Priest story.
So before reading this evening’s posting, tell me honestly could you explain the biological mechanics to a guy achieving an erection? Well truthfully I couldn’t have, still at the age of 54 my erect penis is as hard as a rod of iron, and being serious fo a second I thank the Lord I’m still able to get it up……… omg I cannot imagine the mental anguish and emotional suffering erectile dysfunction brings to a marraige, I’m not fooling around, any medical condition is awful and truly upsetting fot those concerned 😦 .
What IS an Erection? An erection starts in your brain. Something you saw, felt, smelled, heard, or thought makes your nerves send chemical messages to the blood vessels in your penis. The arteries relax and open up to let more blood flow in; at the same time, the veins close up. Once blood is in the penis, pressure traps it within the corpora cavernosa. Your penis expands and holds the erection. When the inflow of blood stops and the veins open, your penis becomes soft.
Having never used a cock ring in my life before, I’d suggest the point to this sex-aid will be trapping blood within the penis thereby holding his erection, and then I guess you can enjoy sexual relations to your heart’s content? Or until the kitty feels chafed and a little sore?
……. and again tell me honestly, did you know the biological definition of Ejaculation? I didn’t before this evening, I’d suggest we’ve either been on the receiving end of one, or have masturbated since being small children and just so as you know I jack off no more than three times a week, which according to the internet is about a guy’s average, the regularity dependant on whether our secretary at work flashes her right boob in my direction. I nearly ejaculated right in middle of a Group meeting for heaven’s sake!
What IS an Ejaculation? When you’re aroused, tubes called the vas deferens squeeze sperm from the testes toward the back of the urethra. The seminal vesicles also release fluid there. The urethra senses the sperm and fluid mixture. Then, at the height of sexual excitement, it sends signals to your spinal cord, which in turn sends signals to the muscles at the base of your penis. These contract powerfully and quickly, every 0.8 seconds. This forces the semen out of the penis as you climax.
Women reveal on Twitter, they’ve had a frigging enough of men sending dick pictures, they’re neither fun or funny, more to the point disgusting enough to make them gag, and the act of texting is both sinister and predatory…. like I said, just so as you know I’ve never sent one in my life.
So what of me? And regular readers to this WordPress will know I love talking about meee. Well seeing as you’re interested thank the Lord I’ve never had trouble achieving or maintaining an erection, btw 160mm is above average and we all know how size matters to us men, we’re very insecure when discussing our penis lengths, and like I’ve said before I’m a 5 minute ride to copulation kinda guy, any thoughts of maintaining my hardness for 2 hour marathon sex sessions are a complete anathema, perhaps I should buy a cock ring?
Nah I’ll give rubber devices a miss.
A jewel of inspirirational thought ‘hit me’ around about my Birthday, perhaps not the momentous awful day itself, anyways there I was standing beneath a hot steaming shower, as hot as I can physically bare, and I can picture myself now gazing down at my flaccid softened penis and saying to myself ‘omg you are over 50 years old!’ And yes we men do refer to our dicks as third party, now that’s a fair old age for such an important organ, over half a century we’ve been joined together and lol like I keep reaffirming, thank God the old man still works!
If ‘he’ no longer ejaculated, I’d honestly be beside myself with grief after enjoying a lifetime’s orgasmic pleasure, and still to this day I’m impressed by the visual display, watching it harden before my incredulous gaze, and the speed of erection never fails to astonish me, quite literally watching blood engorge from 50mm-160mm in less than 3 seconds is nothing short of amazing, and they harden at most inopportune sometimes embarrassing times, jeeze the tricks nature plays can be simply breathtaking.
Talking of the women I have slept with (and you can read many a true tale here on my blog) my erect penis has never reduced a woman to laughter, when dropping my boxers I always make a point of watching her face, hoping for a reaction, perhaps a shy lick of the lips soon followed by warm palms working their magic on my member, stoking fondling rolling dextrous fingers around the bellend, and from my experience women very nearly love my erection as much as I do. Incredibly I’ve never had to ask a woman to take me in her mouth but then does any man? Hmm that always appears to be a voluntary reaction on seeing a penis she likes… because believe me when I say size matters!
AND thankfully women cannot talk when their mouth’s are full! 😀
Haha that’s quite enough silliness for one blog post, I was about to wax lyrical on the joy’s of penetration but I’ll leave that ‘masterpiece’ for another day……. yep in conclusion I do still love my erect penis 😊.
………….and finally to the British comedian Billy Connolly’s thoughts on getting old, “never ever waste an erection.”
So what’s your preferred length of erection? Discuss 😉 .
WordPress Statistics baffle me! How can a post written Sep 2018 be so popular today?
After 2+ years, 2 blogs and writing 375+ postsA Woman’s Cleavage (a cautionary tale)is my most viewed ever! Bar none! And the past 4 months alone have been 33, 43, 43 and 39 (and still with 4 days to go!)
It’s baffling…. a mystery and I just don’t understand why? Why aren’t ALL my posts THIS popular, what happened to my favourite My neighbour IS a Stripper!
But lol dooo you care?
I am an occasional reader of Blog statistics, carefully peruse and scrutinize my popularity, it’s a boy thing, numbers matter, size matters I guess God hard wired us that way!🙄
(Having said all below I wouldn’t worry yourselves, certain niches of creativity for example poetry might be copied, but as for daily bloggers you know writing about life, sharing thoughts and opinions I’d guess there’ll be ok…. anyways an interesting conversation all the same?)
Plagiarism on WordPress goes on, thieving of a blogger’s written thoughts and ideas happens, we all know it does and I guess it’s part and parceled in with the Gig…. not a victimless crime and the phrase ‘cest la vie’ comes to mind, but I’d love to understand the motivation of people who do it, what drives them to start a blog, copy other writer’s poetry and pass it off as their own? Can’t be the money because come on, does anyone really make enough here to live on?
Perhaps the problem is down to darker motives, envious of another’s popularity, wishing for thousands of followers (do they all read?) Coveting the hundreds of likes beneath a post, jealous of a comments thread 20 30 40 readers long, bitterness at the knowledge blog friendships nurtured over sometimes years are such fun. Yep I understand the attraction for the lonely, we all wish to be liked also popular, we all enjoy social interaction but plagiarising content just isn’t right.
My suggestion is give ‘original’ writing a crack… see where it takes you? Or perhaps a photo blog?
Plagiarism! def: The practice of taking someone else’s work or ideas and passing them off as one’s own.
My ‘Jojo Rabbit’ will follow sooon I promise, but I’ve thoughts of plagiarism on my mind, I’ve also to write of my experience dating a real life blogger I first met on WordPress, we became chatty in comments as you do, and writers I follow might knowingly smile because I enjoy commenting blogs I love reading….. and no one has labelled me a stalker… yet!
Those Posts will come, better to have tooo many ideas than none at all.
In my time loitering around this internet backwater largely left alone by assholes and bullies, I put that solely down to the lack of money making opportunities, writers are tooo intelligent to be taken in by scammers, and middle aged sex obsessed men don’t make for great marketing hook-ups unless you’re flogging condoms or private sexual disease treating clinics.
Where was I? Oh yes plagiarism, the theft of words and ideas. Before the lady finished blogging for good, a fabulous Canadian writer name ‘Skinny and Single’ recounted tales of posts she’d had stolen, rewritten onto fake blogs edited by sad individuals, ‘Skinny’ at the time was a blogging superstar. Then there’s my own tawdry 1000 word tales of bedroom sexual liaisons, fun facts about vaginas and observations of the human female mammal, have any of my posts been copied? ‘Skinny and Single’ replied my question, saying in comments ‘You will have been copied’.
‘Such is life’ 🙂 .
So have I been ripped off? Not that I know of, but after several years blogging, and hundreds of posts written I have NO doubt a post (or two) has been copied and pasted onto another’s blog, with their authorship beneath….. so do I wish to be notified? No not really, arguments would ensue, profanities exchanged, there’d be anger and we know how dangerous it is to make enemies on the internet, IP’s can be traced and I’m just not into dramatic conflict.
But I have no doubt I’d be upset, to read someone’s authorship beneath my post knowing how challenging I find the process would hurt, but I guess unfortunately plagiarism comes part of the Gig. As for me I’ve never copied, ffs where’s the fun in that! Yes I’ll read a Cosmipoliton magazine sex survey, feel empowered to run with the idea and then write my own responce……. prompting discusion is ok, theft is wrong.
‘Can I hand up my essay on Friday Miss. My ghostwriter is unwell at present.’
Have I breached Copyright? Have I frigging ever! This Blog is littered by photos downloaded stolen borrowed from the internet, yes guilty as charged and I guess I’m not proud of that, they enhance a post, make for lol fun clickbait, entice draw readers in…. hopefully! I guess I shouldn’t but I do attribute ownership where possible and I never pass off as my own.
(After a 5 minute period of introspection where hot ‘mint’ tea was consumed.)
Yes I agree with Hester in South Africa… if you wish to download one of my own photos feel free to do so, just don’t say it belongs to you 🙂 .
A post inspired by a favourite female blogger (or in other words I copied her idea?)
Wow another year blogging and all with 82 posts written, which was a genuine surprise seeing as I was absent for three months this summer, then again I’ve always written in fits and starts, when the urge takes me, but that’s ok because the best piece of blogging advice I’ve ever been given is, be honest to yourself also enjoy the process, and I’ve been at times recklessly honest but that’s been half the fun!
I put my lost writing mojo towards the back end of 2019 down to Brexit, there’s no coincidence my period away could be mirrored to depression and the current shambolic state of British politics….. in truth I’ve fallen out of love with this my country which is a crying shame.
Enough of politics for this is a politics free blog.
Now for WordPress popularity statistics that are so important to some, me included and I’d be lying if I said Comments don’t matter, I’d love more but that’s ok we all find an audience… oh and I will admit to being a bit of a like whore!
A great deal less numbers than some but I’m more than happy…….. also this year I’ve been singularly viewed in Ghana Rwanda also Namibia, yes someone living in Africa has read a post and that blows my mind, hmm I wonder which one?
Well judging by my top 5 viewed posts, I’d guess said tale would have been sex related, such is the adult blogging tentacle outreach across our cyber globe……….. oh and I’ll forever wonder if I have a real life lurker reading from within the shadows?
Top 5 countries viewed from:
India🇮🇳 (that’s not quite the surprise you’d first assume)
Yes all sex related, in fact all my top ten are true tales of love and sex.
So begs the question, what happened to my series themed Trellick Towers? Or the social comment that is Sandro’s café? Or my day trip to atmospheric Highgate cemetery London? I guess the old adage ‘sex sell’s’ applies 😄
Sooo many questions!
Early January began with visiting my father in hospital, and many times again after he later moved in to a nursing home, a sorrow filled tale ending with his passing in April, and as many of you will understand the sadness and emotional turmoil death of a parent is life at it’s most brutal. I’ve admitted here before we weren’t very close, but I loved him and he loved me and I’m happy knowing we enjoyed each other’s company full of its ups and downs, I have no real regrets which I will forever be grateful for. Weeks before his death I remember the sudden urge I felt 11 o clock one evening, urgently rushing by bus to be at his bedside after for some unknown reason thinking that he’d pass away that same evening, lol I shan’t repeat his answer on seeing me, but it made both me and the Ward Sister laugh.
In the words of Monty Python ‘now for something completely different’, anecdotes ‘hot’ off the press from my all tooo active imagination.
This past year I’ve slept with 5 different women, not their real names but there’s Sarah, Shannon, Diana, Nikola and Sara, yes loving Sara a favourite lady of mine for oh so many reasons. I agree these are details deemed rather distasteful to share, but what the hell🤫 where’s the fun in not telling?
Truthfully I cannot remember where and when I discovered this what shall remain nameless website, but if you’re at all interested, chatting to a woman you’ve never met before on a legally regulated web chatroom for consenting adults is thrilling. Likewise arranging to meet her in some cheap Oxford motel is exhilarating, and if truth be told meeting these women is a military campaign in itself, there’s mobile phone exchanges taken from bleak hotel carparks, me dodging security at the revolving doors, a firtive skirting of reception desks without being called over and asked,
“Where do you think you are going Sir?”
Then there’s locating the actual hotel room after being texted the number, the nerve tingling moment she first opens the room door, the first time either of us see if our photos resemble those on said chatroom, and I haven’t been disappointed yet. Apart from 55year old Cara back in 2018 who omitted to admit she had a dodgy knee which meant during sex, after a vigorous bed bouncing cowgirl, she had to step off the bed to click her knee back into position.
Happy afternoons I sometimes think I live for, though perhaps emotionally unhealthy experiences and yet filled with such warmth fun and laughter, yes I agree to a lacking real love ….. then again what is real love?
After all said and done, there’s a wicked thrill to internet sex, a day full of unknown possibilities, thrills and excitement ‘pricking’ every sense of my body into life……….. and great sex, naked body’s entwined, caressing and squeezing tits, sucking on dry nipples and joy of joys feasting between her wide open thighs, lapping at baby soft skinned folds of succulent labia, the tip of my tongue searching for her elusive clitoris…… and yes I do love giving oral sex.
So what joy and horrors will 2020 bring? Well glancing at the clock on my laptop today is january 1st, and you know what that means, my obituary will never read ‘died in 2019!’
I have a Christmas holiday story of my own to follow tomorrow🙂.
There was ONE fun News story that made me smile over the Christmas break, appealed to my boyish sense of humour so to speak. 43yr old Veronica Duque is the lady’s name, a Biology school teacher living in Spain.
Mind you, I’d suggest you gotta be blessed with her lithe willowy figure to carry off a catsuit such as this.
Or is that Andrew being sexist again?
Well as the story goes, Ms. Duque began her lesson at Maria Teresa Inigo de Toro school in Valladolid wearing a white coat, then disrobed at an opportune moment to reveal a bodysuit depicting the inside of a human body, and all to help her year four class learn about anatomy:
“Visualise the disposition of internal organs” she later admitted to El Pais,
Adding there was “confusion, shouts, applause and some covered their eyes”.
And you guessed it, because we now live in a social media obsessed world a fellow teacher snapped pictures of Ms Duque giving the lesson, sent them to her husband who uploaded them on to Twitter where surprise surprise they went globally viral!
Don’t you agree Ms. Duque is a genius superstar of a teacher? What better way of making a class more practical and relevant, capturing the attention of her students for what can be an interminably tedious subject, all in all a fabulously creative idea to nurture a child’s imagination.
No doubt there’ll be killjoys on Twitter calling her unprofessional but I think she’s a creative influencer, just imagine sitting in her class and gazing at her perfect figure with all human organs correctly displayed where they should be. I’ll go further, I’d suggest you’d learn more about human anatomy in one hour than you’ll learn for the rest of your life.
Apparently she has other creative classroom ideas!
I know I haven’t been around for a while, long story but not to worry.
Oh yes! A woman flashed her cotton panties at me today, so I’m wondering was lifting her dress accidental as I walked toward her, little more than her preoccupied wistful mind elsewhere, or lol was I the victim of a sexual assault? BECAUSE being serious for a second if I was to pull my trousers down in public, in full view of a pretty young woman walking toward me then I’d have some serious explaining to a Court Judge!
Nah of course not, pretty women can flash me their underwear to their young heart’s content.
I had intended to write a Post featuring the work of 1950s artist ‘Art Frahm’, why an earth would he wish to paint young women in distress at the point of her panties having slipped down shapely legs? What’s more at the most inopportune moment and in full gaze of bemused ‘lucky’ guys, talk about women in distress! Without Googling the reasons why? (I never do) I’m lost for words apart from a woman’s letter posted to a magazine’s editor, apparently this scenario was prone to happen in 50’s America simply because knicker elastic wasn’t as strong as it should have been!
Hmm, I’m NOT convinced.
Where was I? Oh yes I’ll never forget today’s young lady DELIBERATELY showing me her panties, a photographic image now hardwired into my memory for as long as I live……… hence the reason I had to write a blog along with all my other sexy stories.
Cutting a short story even shorter (busy lives and all), today has been Britain’s hottest day this year, hence lunchtime break I just had to wander into Oxford City center and women watch (judge me 😀 ) well I’d gotten but 50 metres from my workplace and what did I see on this gloriously humid sunny day? A young woman suddenly stopped 20 paces in front of me, there’s more! In one near choreographed movement, she lifted a hand toward her head removing a pair of spectacles, the finger’s of her other hand clasping the hem of a girly pastel dress, and wonderful for Andrew she lifted her dress in full view and proceeded to clean her obviously dirty glasses with the soft cotton fabric, and above her frigging WAIST I might add!
And yes TOTALLY unaware (?) this middle aged guy was but paces away gazing incredulously at her light blue pair of panties and long slender legs!
Life is a game of luck and chance and today was my lucky day.
I know I could hardly believe my eyes, still can’t, how I didn’t pass out there and then God only knows. Now with spectacle’s freshly cleaned, dress hem released and allowed to fall, the glasses were reposition affront a pretty face and she continued to wander past me as if the incident had never happened, there was no hint of a sweet smile, nope she didn’t even make eye contact, her unfazed expression betraying wistful thoughts and a mind elsewhere?
I must admit I’m at a loss as to why any woman would lift her dress in public, reveal her underwear with mobile phones camera’s poised to send an image viral. Who knows why, perhaps there are people in this world who LUCKILY don’t care what other’s think? Anyways when I retold this tale back at work to basically anyone who’d listen, their mournful envious expressions betrayed the fact they’d missed a highlight of 2019.
Seriously though, days such as these are a sobering reminder, a reality check that at age 50 young women wandering past me in the street wearing buttock flashing hot-pants, micro skirts and tight fitting crop-tops revealing shapely wobbly boobage, ‘tees’ with plunging cleavage are ALL fabulous to behold, lovely and brilliant except young lady’s such as these will be thinking to themselves,
‘Sad old man looking at my tits, you’re (nearly) old enough to be my Grandfather Mr!’
I must admit I’ve been in two minds whether to publish yet another boob tale (said that before!) Blogger Lesley kluchin won’t be impressed and I don’t blame her, of all the lovely readers to reply Lesley isn’t adverse to giving Andrew’s virtual ass a written spanking, several occasions tooo, I love them!! I fear my sexist tales understandably challenge the lady’s mommy sensibilities also school teaching values and quite right tooo……… Still, Lesley’s a good looking woman for her age, just shows a woman can still be sexually appealing at age70😘 . (Btw she wasn’t offended when I wrote that because I’m a nice guy.)
Ok I’ve a breast obsession! I adore sucking caressing licking and gazing in wonderment, what more can I say? 😀
Seems an age since I’ve affectionately ‘objectified’ a woman’s body on this WordPress.
Omg summer’s finally arrived with a vengeance and Oxford city is crowded with (age appropriate) young ladies wearing fewer than usual, there’ll be micro cotton dresses revealing milk white thighs, hem lines sooo short that on a guy’s lucky day he’ll glimpse ‘cushions’ of knicker gusset captured in the breeze, and just imagine but for this soft delicate fabric I might see kitty lips moistened and glistening against the sunlight! The problem is I have to keep in mind I’m old enough to be their father if not older!!
Btw this has happened, I’m not complaining ladies but watch the skirt length for heavens sake my heart isn’t as young as it used to be! Or with the advent of #METOO am I deemed sexist for looking and enjoying?
Do you wish to know why I enjoy riding double decker commuter buses in sunny weather? (You know you want to 😀 ) I’ll sit beside a top deck window waiting for my evening’s ride to pull away from the pavement, with a forearm propped upon a window-sill I’ll gaze down at delectable University students (age18) and pretty female shoppers walking past, their animated laughter and chatter a joy to behold, better still and you just know what I’m going to share with you next, more often than not when hot summer days arrive, so do tight fitting tee shirts with plunging necklines and ample boobage jiggling their own merry dance.
And because I’m seated peering down from up on high I’ll watch out for the colour of their bras as they walk on by, and if fortunate I’ll see pastel blouses with their collars open and top buttons undone, omg it’s fabulous to be alive when gazing at milk white boobs nestling comfortably within cups of various sizes, and working down the alphabet from an A cup to a DD, on a REALLY lucky day and this only happens once in a while mind, when the angle of eyeline is correctly aligned and her cups are larger in size, then I have been known to coup d’œil a small brown nipple or two.
Now that we’re on the subject of ladies’ nipples and keeping in mind their SOLE function in life is so that a baby can latch on and drink mums’ creamy goodness so they’ll grow up healthy a strong, yum yum big deal………………..
(Ahh I’ve just had an idea! I’ve some ‘breastfeeding in public’ opinions that I’ll leave for another day 🙂 )
ERR where was I? Oh yes tales of peering down ladies’ blouses! Yikes could I get into trouble doing this?
However this sexy street theatre doesn’t last forever as our gruff diesel engine rumbles into life, alas my down blouse performance is over for another day 😦 that’s until I descend the upper deck stairs and I share this thought with you quite truthfully, again when luck is on my side (lotta luck required in my life, keep up!) A BIG breasted young lady has been seen standing waiting ready to get off, I’m hovering above looking directly down, and no word of a lie, a balconette bra separating two perfectly shaped breasts with her belly button clearly in view.
🙂 Btw she appeared like a vision one hot summer’s day last year, 😀 so ladies be aware!
Incidentally this saucy nonsense flows easily when I’m sexually aroused, why not try it yourselves dear readers? I should add the knicker gusset aided by the lifting skirt breeze scenario happened last August! Happy days 🙂 .
(Two ‘borrowed’ stock images which are NOT my own!)
‘Now before you get all hot under the collar branding my post ‘icky’ and distasteful, just keep in mind EACH AND EVERYONE OF US was born of our father’s semen!………… Oh and I’ll be away for the foreseeable 🙂 ‘
(Talking of good taste, here are two cute puppies before I begin.)
Early evening thoughts with MILD adult themes…………. honest and respectful as always (comment if you’ve had your fill of my female sexual observations and objectification of the female human animal’s body)………….. my imagination I fear is out of control 7 o’clock at night, I’m incorrigible, my hardness is excited and twitching hence I write because these posts are fun and keep me interested when WordPress feels a lonely place……… 123 ahhh 😀
Does anyone honestly think this photo below is offensive?
A question for you, why is the female breast nipple such a big deal for a guy? And I’d agree with you ladies who say nipples shouldn’t be, after all they have one purpose in life to allow a nursing baby to latch onto the breast and drink mum’s milky goodness, big f#cking deal? Then babes grow into healthy toddlers…
‘Not a lot of people know this’ (a Michael Caine quote), but according to WordPress Statistics each and every single week, no less than forty-six occasions throughout this May alone! One particular post written by me June 19 2018 has been viewed from right across the Globe, and studying said statistics as I’m prone to do whenever bored, I can also tell you ‘that post’ is also my most viewed EVER!!!
I’m truly grateful and genuinely humbled btw.
Now I’m neither bragging or showing off, certainly not lauding this my original piece of writing as a gem of modern literature, (f#ck no), in fact I’m rather surprised this one is the most popular of all 190! So after a protracted prolonged build up I can tell you Andrew’s most viewed post is:
‘An open apology to women not wearing bras!’
So there you, in some respects I’m unsurprised a bra post is number one because internet aficionados tell us 90% of internet traffic is sex themed, not to worry though I’m rather chuffed and why not.
Two reasons for this evening’s ‘Blog’. Several day ago the fabulous LA of wakingupthewrongsideof50 noticed a blogging phenomena I’d not really thought about until then, I’ll quote in her own words,
‘Bloggers that gave up quickly: I noticed a pattern among them. Almost every one of them used the phrase “Join me (us) on this journey”. I have now decided that those words are the bloggers kiss of death. If you write these words on your first blog you are not going to survive.
As I have not done a research study on this, I can only give you my humble (?) opinion. When you use the word “Join” you are specifically writing to an audience. You expect that people will listen. Bad expectation.’
LA’s Join Me on This Journey post has itself become very popular amongst blogging readers because as she goes on to say, ‘anyone who has written for WordPress knows you blog for yourself’, with all your heart and soul you want to be read, to have followers, to be liked, to be commented and replied to, however writing for an audience is not the reason you blog.
Sadly (and yes I genuinely mean sadly) if you set tooo higher expectations of yourself, write with the expectation hundreds of people will read, then I’m afraid this will only make you unhappy because apart from a lucky minority (who work very hard btw) fame and popularity will pass you by. 😦 A sad truth and only ONE of many reasons why you have to write for yourself, though take heart people will eventually read and follow your writing journey.
I said two reasons. I’ll come to said second in a Mo!
I wrote ‘An open apology to women not wearing bras’ (did I tell you this is my most viewed ever?) For no other reason than I had an absolute blast possibly because it’s the type of post that gets me sexually aroused. Anyways I blogged this many months ago and ever since publishing week by week people across the Globe people have viewed (finger’s crossed enjoyed), and if there is a moral to this story then it’s write for yourself, embrace the creative process and whatever transpires is a welcome bonus.
Oh yes reason number two for this evening’s post! Well I have written yet another bra themed tale featuring women’s boobs and cleavage, which in turn gave me the reason idea to reblog ‘An open apology……….’ and why not ablogfromtheuk is my very own WordPress.
Tomorrow: ‘An open apology to women not wearing bras!’
If you are happily married, or happily co-habiting, you may find this post morally challenging though hopefully not, as always it’s just Andrew thinking out aloud 🙂 .
(Part2 follows, I have a lady neighbour who owns a dog!)
During those idle moments when one’s mind tends to wander there’s a question I often ask myself, would I sleep with a unhappily happily married woman?
The movie ‘When Harry Met Sally’ is a real favourite of mine and not because of Meg Ryan’s awesomely faked orgasm, a performance that’s more than a little disturbing to us men! No I’m fascinated by the premise at the story’s heart, the question Billy actually asks Meg namely can two people be ‘just good friends’ without the relationship becoming sexual OR heading that way until intelligence and good sense makes people stop and think! Can you be friends with that ‘special’ person at work without becoming romantically involved?
A post notto ‘overthink’ about for tooo long. And used in the correct circumstances ‘that phrase’ is justifiable! 🙂 .
My two blogging rules of thumb are, to enjoy the writing creativity process and would I enjoy reading? If yes then I publish, if I regale the beauties of a woman’s wonderous body then all’s the sweeter 😀 .
Sexism (noun): prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women on the basis of sex.
2 questions for you, do you know the average length of a human male erect penis? Also have you ever wished to know? If so read on!
I’m a respectfully playful soul on-line, all good fun and it passes the time quite pleasurably, so having tagged this post NSFW, I think it’s ok to share a question that’s sparked and arced my juvenile imagination for as long as I can remember, namely ‘how long is an average length?’ Btw please note this post’s content is about on a par as a woman’s magazine or an encyclopaedia!
Let me begin.
So yes I’m wondering this evening, how long is average length in inches OR centimetres? And no we’re not talking about the length of my telescope! So what do you do when you have a question that’s always puzzled you? You Google ’cause the days of visiting the library are alas long gone…………. yikes it’s been ages since I last visited a public library 😦 .
Amazingly, as of this moment in time I can only remember asking one lady this rather unusual question, and she gave hand-relief for a living! Well think for a second it’s just not the question to ask in polite company is it, women that is, because we men will discuss our lengths until the proverbial cows come home and compare when group showering………… oh yes we will, and do!!
Before I get to the point of sharing my vital statistics, and you just knew I was going to share my length didn’t you? Here are a few facts and figures to keep you amused. And yes I did once get a steel rule out to measure, I’ll admit to that one lol. So let’s talk statistics shall we, yes I researched facts and figures on the www, then blended with my own thoughts and opinions as always, that is apart from several highlighted quotations lifted from appropriate websites, i.e. thoughts on body image!
A collaboration between King’s College and our very own NHS polled 15,521 men, wow that is some serious studying, measuring both their penis length and girth when erect, now wait for it! Are you sitting down comfortably?
The average length of a penis when erect is 13.1cm/5.16″, now didn’t you always wish to know that? And there’s more, the average girth (circumference) is 11.6cm/4.59″ now I have to say if that’s the average then I’m feeling rather deflated!
You want more stats? Ok, the average length when flaccid is 9.2cm/3.16″ and the average softened girth is 9.32cm/3.67″,again I’m feeling slightly deflated if you’ll excuse the pun!! Now if all those figures seem low to you, it just goes to show the size of one’s penis isn’t such a big deal after all, and perhaps the length of a man’s aroused member, swollen appendage ain’t worth worrying about anyway!
More stats? I’ve got them! Only 5% of erect penises are bigger than 16cm/6.3″ long, now that figure cheered me up no end (excuse the pun), likewise only 5% of men have a penis shorter than 10cm/3.94″.
And now to growing old? For those of us closer to the end than the beginning penis size does get shorter with age, men in their 60’s to 70’s may lose 0.4″ to 0.6″ in penis length and interestingly, I never knew this, any increase in body fat percentage can result in the penis appearing smaller as a man ages………… now there’s an incentive for keeping one’s weight down, 0.4″-0.6″ may not seem a lot to a guy but it may mean the world to your partner!
More facts and figures? Ok one more, an internet-based survey of more than 50,000 men and women revealed 45% of men would like a larger penis.
‘Each penis is unique and boys develop at different ages and rates. During puberty, usually between the ages of 11 and 18, the penis and testicles develop more rapidly, although the penis doesn’t stop growing until the age of 21.’
So what does the fair sex think?
Several studies that I happened across during my not so scientific research, suggested penis size is much lower on their list of priorities than for say, personal grooming also a man’s personality and all I can say is thank goodness for that! That’s the best news I came across all evening! In fact 85% of women were satisfied with their partner’s erection whereas only 55% of men were satisfied with the length of their own, and speaking for myself every guy is so very proud of his own appendage but when asked we’d all admit that we’d prefer a longer one……………. now I detest visual pornography but I did happen to watch a movie starring this black guy by the name of ‘Mandingo’, incredibly he had a 30cm/12″ penis and what’s more he knew how to use it!!
😮 12″ ffs!
According to a Professor Wylie on the internet? (Seriously the website said ‘Wylie’, or were they taking the piss?)
“It may come as a surprise to some young men, but most women have very little interest in the size of their penis and that’s been shown in numerous studies over time, research shows that when it comes to sex, women are much more interested in whether you are romantic, tender and sensitive to their needs and desires than your penis size.”
Yet more data for you, and come on be honest we all like comparing our preferences to national statistics. A published report by UCLA no less, showed 84% of women feel “very satisfied with their man’s penis size”, though that doesn’t differentiate between girth and length? Yes men worry whether their penis will sexually satisfy their partners but apparently we men can get equally anxious worrying about how we look naked, and personally speaking how my body is perceived by a lady does worry me!
And now we come to that old chestnut does size matter? Of particular concern for some men is whether their penis will be sexually satisfying for themselves also their partner, and according to the internet, when it comes to sexual intercourse bigger may not always be better, now there’s some good news for you!
In yet another study, researchers interviewed 75 sexually active women asking what size of penis they would prefer for a one-night stand, apparently they preferred a 16.25cm/6.4″ erect penis and a mind blowing 12.7cm/5″ in girth, that’s circumference to you keep up, 5″ wow that’s BIG!! However women in long term relationships preferred a 16cm/6.3″ long penis with a girth of 12.2cm/4.8″, now in my opinion that’s still one big penis!
Yet another similar study of women’s preferences, published in BMC Women’s Health, found that penis girth was more important than length for sexual satisfaction, hmm interesting!
And what about people with big feet? Yeh that old wives tale. Well no evidence has been found linking penis size to foot size or ethnicity, so a no to that fake news, and like I said it is believed that a higher BMI and old age are weakly associated with a shorter erect penis……….. and note, there is some truth in the fact men who drive big cars have small dicks!
Btw if you are a guy reading this just for fun post and wish to measure your own length erection, get a rule then measure from the base where it connects to your pubic bone, right to the tip of your glans which is the bellend purple helmet, however don’t forget to subtract any additional length associated with foreskin, that’s cheating! As for girth, I measured the width of my shaft inserting the figure into a maths equation 3.14xD or 2×3.14xR.
Oh and I came across this gem observation,
‘Feeling inadequate can really damage a man’s self-confidence and affect his social life. It can lead to issues from being unable to using public urinals or shared shower rooms, to avoiding intimate relationships.’
Well personally speaking I have never ever looked at a man’s penis when inside public urinals, jeez can’t you get arrested for that? But being serious for a second I guess a worried teenager/young man could feel inadequate, leading to low-self esteem, affect his relationship with women but the good news is all this research tells us women aren’t to bothered by size anyway? Similarly research sadly appears to show anxiety about penis size may arise after taunts from other children during adolescence, or remarks from a sexual partner and I can imagine that level of bullying would hurt.
(Left, a Greek statue)
And finally penises of course feature throughout art history and culture……. As we know from cave paintings and ancient sculpture man has always placed great importance on the size of his penis, with many cultures associating penis size with masculinity, what’s more throughout the ages, long penises had come to symbolise qualities such as virility, fertility, strength, ability and courage. Some cultures even went to extreme lengths to try to increase the size of their penis, and don’t imagine I already know these following two nuggets of trivia because I didn’t, apparently Indian mystics known as Sadhus had been known to stretch their penis from an early age by hanging weights on it, while the Topinama tribesmen of Brazil encouraged poisonous snakes to bite their penis to enlarge it.
If you suffer from low self esteem here are a few tips to help with positive body image, incidentally lifted directly from one of those Medic websites and so very true.
‘If you’re unhappy with your body, whether it’s the size of your penis or the look of any other part of you, try these helpful tips for feeling better about yourself: Focus on the characteristics and body parts you do like, such as broad shoulders or a nice smile. Maintain a healthy weight and incorporate strength training into your exercise routine. If you look fit and healthy, you may feel better about yourself. Don’t become consumed by penis size. You can be a satisfying sexual partner regardless of the size of your penis. Don’t compare yourself to athletes, models, and actors. You’ll develop an unhealthy and unrealistic image of what is normal and how you should look. Spend more time and energy on pursuits you find rewarding, whether it’s sports, hobbies, traveling, or other activities. Lasting self-esteem comes from nonphysical traits, such as creativity, intelligence, and your values.’
Wouldn’t you agree that’s sound advice for life in general?
So I guess if there’s any conclusions to be made, it appears plenty of men wonder if they are at or near the average penis size, when the actual truth is a majority of men are within a close range of the average length and girth………………… hmm do I have tooo much time on my hands?
Oh yes I nearly forgot to say my appendage erect is a good percentage above average length, yay! But alas I’m a percentage smaller on girth the figure women Reallyworry about 😉 , and no I’m not saying by how much! 😀
So is an average length of 13.1cm/5.16″ a surprise to you?
I’m guessing if you have children of your own you’ll possibly probably enjoy this one. 😀
“Wow didn’t David have a small willy!” (Now come on you were thinking it so I said it.)
A very wise man (she could have been a woman) once wrote ‘the good ole days’ are 50 years long (I’d suggest they never existed in the first place), and the older I get the more I understand that writer’s perceptive thought processes, AND without Googling (because I never do) didn’t a philosopher living way back in antiquity days once utter the line “the trouble with the Youth of today is……..”
Well I have to be completely honest I’m no longer writing the post I’d first intended, the name of this Greek guy intrigues me so through the wonder’s of Google I just had to discover his actual quotation, and wouldn’t you just know I came across these following words of wisdom written by other Greek philosophers of the day.
A brief intermission (Get the popcorn out).
(The tale of how and why my Great Grandfather emigrated from Southern Ireland back in 1916 will have to wait, on and off I’ve been researching my family tree his father was a Boer war soldier and I’ve recently been given written evidence to prove something I’d suspected or hoped to be true…………… namely Grandpa was a political refugee, his family persecuted by Catholics so he sailed the Irish sea seeking asylum in the UK as both an illegal immigrant also a migrant worker…………… hmm well who’d have guessed, Grandpa was an asylum seeker, perhaps I should be more careful when discussing UK immigration!! 😀 ………. btw the irony isn’t lost!’)
Returning to Googled Greek philosopher’s and their wayward children, ok this evening’s post is little more than regurgitated facts you’re all probably aware of, they’re lifted from the internet by me, nope nothing incisively new here but they’re entertaining reading all the same!
“They (Young People) have exalted notions, because they have not been humbled by life or learned its necessary limitations; moreover, their hopeful disposition makes them think themselves equal to great things – and that means having exalted notions. They would always rather do noble deeds than useful ones: Their lives are regulated more by moral feeling than by reasoning – all their mistakes are in the direction of doing things excessively and vehemently. They overdo everything — they love too much, hate too much, and the same with everything else.” (Aristotle)
“The world is passing through troublous times. The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behaviour and dress.” (Peter the Hermit in A.D. 1274)
“I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words… When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise (disrespectful) and impatient of restraint.” (Hesiod, 8th century BC)
“The children now love luxury; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are tyrants, not servants of the households. They no longer rise when their elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize over their teachers.” (Commonly attributed to Socrates by Plato)
Incidentally if you’re curious I don’t profess to be an expert on Greek philosophy, ask me a question about Socrates! And I’ll tell you the guy was a medical doctor, who smoked 20 cigarettes a day and played football for Brazil at the 1978 World Cup.
A fun read don’t you think? Especially ‘Peter The Hermit’s’ thoughts on girls of today……….. my guess is he didn’t have daughters or perhaps he should have got out a little more often!
My earlier post Racist Britain rather depressed me, so I thought why not cheer myself up and write about women’s boobs, and as you know I love women’s boobs!
Oh dearie me how an earth am I going to try and explain this one away (however before reading remember I both respect women and adore their boobs) well all I can say is you will have your own opinions by the end! 🙂
I could dedicate a whole blog to the human female breast, no I’m not joking I could honestly! But I would NEVER post photographs on the internet neither would I ever make fun of a woman for a reader’s amusement, most definitely not, I would be positive and respectful because I am a decent well mannered guy who adores women, in fact I’m in awe of these delicious delectable gorgeous creatures I don’t understand them mind you and there lies my insecurities.
Btw just so as you know I am a feminist.
My breast blog (hypothetical) would be informative positive, neither salacious or kinky but yes I could be guilty of sexualising breasts however anything I’d write would be body image positive and written all because I’m obsessed fascinated by a lady’s breasts, hmm perhaps a little tooo much?
(Everyone these days seems to suffer from questionable personality traits, I have AvPD but does a disorder exist for breast obsessions if so I have a feeling I’m afflicted, seriously!)
You’ll be relieved to read I won’t be writing a breast themed blog!
Jeeze that’s a lengthy introduction to my tale AND I haven’t started yet.
I’ve enjoyed naked sexual fun and games with many women in my lifetime, ages range from 19 to 48, (though Karina told fibs, I’m sure she’s 55 years but a gent never asks does he!) And as you’d imagine all twenty-five ladies were gifted with very different breasts, large or small, pert or saggy, high and round, firm or squidgy, empty and drooping, not to worry I loved them all! Imagine a boob size and shape well I guess I’ve squeezed one…………….. and don’t get me started on sucking nipples or I’ll be here all evening.
(Note Karina for the purposes of this tale isn’t the lady’s real name but I like the name so Karina she is, perhaps one day I’ll write the tales of how I came to meet these women but for now I prefer not to.)
So yes in my lifetime I’ve squeezed many pairs of unenhanced natural, as God intended, human female breasts and gorgeous they were to, and truthfully each time I near fainted when they took their bras off, put it this way the reveal and drop is the definition of eroticism. But not until meeting Karina had I ever slept with a woman who’d implants in her breasts and to be honest I’m in two minds, still! On the one hand I’m okay with falsies because they were Karina’s life choice, she both paid for and loved them so that’s fine by me, enhanced plastic boobs helped her body image, calmed any insecurities and the shape and size made her happy so it doesn’t matter what I think does it.
If I were ask to take a guess I’d say she didn’t get them because men demanded them, OR maybe sublimely did she?🤔😯😕 Who knows either way I didn’t really like them but didn’t say!!
And yes laying beside Karina looking at her burgundy lace bra cupping high round breasts they did indeed look womanly fabulous, her bust profile was exquisitely proportioned to her slim body frame (not porn star pneumatic balloons, yuck no!) The implants suited her, gave her a feminine cleavage however after she’d leant forward, reaching her hands behind to unclip then tossing her intriguing lingerie to the beside chair, well after the moment of freeing those bundles of fun from their restraint they didn’t drop 😦 and I enjoy watching saggy boobs fall to above the belly button. Anyways only after first setting eyes on Karina’s falsies did two horizontal pink lines etched into her skin capture my gaze.
Yep you’ll have guessed (cause I’ve already said), those pink lines were in fact the result of a surgical blade slicing into her skin, 2″ long incisions through which silicon implants had been forced underneath her breast tissue in what must have been a brutal operation.
Why an earth go under the knife? She could have died!
Now I’ve seen these breast implant operations on the TV and I liken them to meat butchery, horrendous, my Great Grandfather was an army meat butcher in World War One (close to Ypres) and I’d guess he lol could have been a surgeon in another life but I shouldn’t be disrespectful. Well enough to say her surgeon stitched the incisions together (a nice job) and once healed Karina was left with two red unsightly marks for the rest of her life……… hmm I’ll be honest I don’t agree with breast augmentation.
BUT she loved them both so who am I to judge, live and let live I say.
Well because I’m an inquisitive sort of guy, an engineer by trade, I spent the next quarter of an hour asking all manner of questions, prodding squeezing basically giving her my own unskilled type of breast examination and she was happy to teach. In fact she guided my hand with hers to a point above her left implant, I gently pressed and felt a hard 4mm sized circular lump under the skin, I near freaked out with the shock and Karina had a look of concern etched across her brow then she said,
“Don’t worry the lump’s not cancerous”.
Jeeze I don’t think I’ve received such a heart stopping shock before, she should have warned me of a hard lump because I hadn’t frigging expected it!! Karina then went on to explain a hospital biopsy had revealed the lump wasn’t cancerous but I think her broken Polish accent meant I missed the true reason in translation, however she assured me the implant hadn’t split which was my next worry. Suffice to say she was booked in to have surgery this ********* though I could see she was quite concerned………………. don’t you think it a shame that a woman has to endure surgery and silicon bags inserted under her skin to improve the way she sees her body? AND didn’t she understand men love boobs whatever the size and shape I guess not?
I felt disappointed that afternoon, Karina’s implants were firm hard and yes they gave her a perky profile, but I’d loved them to have to been squidgy and jiggle, pendulously swing when she moved just as God intended, so okay they were hard but after 5 minutes of sucking licking and caressing I overcame any doubts……………. well nearly all!
Anyways we both relaxed and began to enjoy each other’s bodies, we kissed passionately the womanly smell of her freshly showered skin passing my nostrils and just so as you know I’m not a great fan of bottled perfume because ladies naturally smell divine ❤ , I’ll choose the clean animal scent of a woman over manufactured smells every time…….. I’ll share no further details, you’re all sexual animals lol you 😉 understand many of the ‘positions’ naked lovers get up to in bed together, even with her dodgy knee! (She got out of bed at one point to click it back into position.)
Enough said, joking apart I learnt you should always see a Doctor if there’s something medically not right with your body.
I’ll wrap up this post by saying Karina and I will see each other again and no doubt chat about her (our) health but I’ll leave any ladies reading with one thought. I’ve worked with many men, both young and old over the past thirty five years and I’ve yet to come across a guy who liked breast implants, and yes the subject has raised it’s head upon many occasions. Btw if you’re 🙂 curious my take is why bother putting yourself through major surgery if your identified sexual partner doesn’t like them? Discuss.
There you are lol knowledge shared from me to you, we guy’s love ‘au naturel’ unenhanced breasts whatever their size shape and ‘squidgyness’ so ladies please don’t ever assume we don’t.
Should I burn in Hell for all eternity admitting I don’t understand why?
I’m a red blooded heterosexual guy, hold on let me rephrase that! I’m a randy heterosexual guy who ain’t laid a lady in ages, and what’s the association with red blood and virility anyway……….. as you may have guessed I’m pretty confused this evening and lol not high on illegal substances!
Mind you if you’d been following my blog closely you’ll know I’m a breasts and ladies man through and through.
Ok apologies for this post before I begin, it’s bound to upset someone, hopefully 😀 ! You’ll have possibly guessed by the Title above I’ve met a guy who wears women’s dresses………… in fact there’s more than one, I cannot say tooo much about my place of employment because well………. many months ago someone at work read my blog who actually knew me! All I will say is the establishment is education related and populated by many academically (highly) intelligent men and women many of whom lack basic common sense, but that’s another story!
Now criticise me in comments please, but I have to be truthfully honest and say I struggle to understand why these two guys spend their working day dressed in women’s clothing? One of them dyes his head purple and wears denim short skirts, the guy in IT dyes his long hair a shocking shade of ‘bubble gum’ pink and totters around in high healed shoes, though I will say he’s the legs to carry off shear black stockings and pencil skirts!………….. I’m not saying I’d ask him out on a date mind but he’s passable for a lady except for the five o’clock shadow come late afternoon!
Now just so as you’re aware I’m not homophobic, I’m an openminded live and let live type of guy okay!……… I’ve a relative in a same sex relationship, two of my old schoolfriends are gay and I’d sleep with two naked lesbian lovers any day of the week!
Being serious for a second, my place of work of course promotes and supports a LGBT community in the form of themed events and social Groups, in fact Cara (he of denim short skirts) is the President, he seems a nice guy, I of course don’t stare at his legs as I politely say………..
“Good morning Cara” or “weather’s turned cold again” or similar pleasantries however I don’t know these two guys other than to say hello………… now feel free to judge me please but Cara doesn’t appear at all feminine, and perhaps my lack of understanding/appreciation is down to my lack of education, but in my defence since age sixteen I’ve worked in male dominated factories and foundries, stereotypical right wing institutions, frequented by bs spouting working class heterosexuals, some racist and all with tooo much testosterone coursing through their veins………… yes I’m ill informed and possibly prejudicial?
(I’m also playing Devil’s advocate.)
I’m also confused, Cara in LGBT literature refers to himself in print as ‘She’ yet I guess he has a willy? One time I actually witnessed him walk into the lady’s cloak room/toilet and that was a shock and a half I can tell you!! But reading her literature and overhearing gossiping tongues I’m VERY aware if I was to say something out of turn and within earshot, he would formally complain and I’d quite probably lose my job……………….. she takes his Trans Gender extremely seriously I just wish he’d the legs for wearing short skirts that’s all 😀 . Confused? I am.
Perhaps I should enrol myself in the LGBT Society to be informed and educated? I’m open minded with a live and let live outlook, but for my sins I have a strong working class upbringing and wasn’t birthed by over sensitive parents.
But I’m not the only person to be confused, it appears to me British society in the broader sense struggles to understand Transgenderism, you have female guests complaining to the Youth Hostelling Association because they’re sleeping, in what they’d assumed, would be women only bunkbeds only to find Transgender men were sleeping within these open plan dormitories…………. a female journalist said she felt vulnerable uneasy and frightened even, but of course the YHA legally has it’s hands tied.
The Transgender community is very vocal, extremely political and I’d guess British Institutions are frightened to say the wrong thing, scared of landing themselves in Court or caught in the ‘crossfire’ of a Twitter ‘shit-storm’, jeez I’m mixing my metaphors once again!
We ALL listen into stranger’s conversations………… don’t we?
I am a people watcher by nature, I was going to write aren’t we all? But I know for a fact some people are so self absorbed they are oblivious to what goes on around them, perhaps a little unfair of me. So yes guilty as charged I can’t help watching people go about their normal lives, nothing creepy mind it’s just that if you find human nature fascinating well you have to observe! Oh and I should qualify that statement with I have a terrible habit for eavesdropping, perhaps an unsavoury character trait but if you’re going to chat to your friend about sexually transmitted diseases, then what’s a guy to do except listen in?
I really can’t help myself however I’m far from blameless in fact I blame this new phenomenon of telling the world your private business fairly and squarely on mobile phones! I can stand next to someone in a bus queue and they’ll happily chat about their lives to a friend consequently I’ve become very attuned to conversations going on around me, and I’ve heard some corkers when sitting on the bus enduring the awful evening commute out of Oxford. But what’s to do? For some unknown reason people seem totally comfortable having intimate mobile phone conversations out loud, however the eavesdropper only hears half the conversation so has to fill in the pauses while the other person answers, but don’t you think eavesdropping is just human nature?
(I’m not a gossip though, oh no tell me a secret in confidence and my lips are sealed)
Recently I overheard a lady explaining to a friend on the phone, how she’d just left a solicitor’s office after a meeting with her ex husband, a guy she described in these glowing terms,
“Thankfully I’ll never have to see his stupid little face ever again”, you get the idea they were divorcing.
I should add the half of the conversation I was listening to was the lady gleefully taking her ex hubby to the proverbial cleaners, the alimony, the furniture, the house she got the lot! Although she had to give him a token lump sum, and by the time she’d hung up I both felt sorry for the poor guy and thanked my lucky stars I am single! Mind you she had a pleasant well spoken voice and a personality you could call ‘bitchy’ but then again she was divorcing an ex hubby so perhaps her attitude was understandable……………….. 😀 hmm do I really want to ever marry?
I’ve lost count of the shear number of Court case conversations I’ve eavesdropped on, you see our County’s Crown Court (second highest Court in the land) resides in the city I commute out of, consequently all I can imagine is people leaving Court at 4pm are SO excited and intellectually stimulated, or are so frigging relieved, they jump on the bus, whip out their mobile and tell friends mothers or girlfriends what went on in Court and the outcome of the case, and again I fill in the gaps. I’ve overheard defendants discuss their knife crimes, wounding, robbery convictions and often accompanied with foul language, not forgetting drug abuse and all absolutely staggering conversations so much more entertaining than reading tabloid newspapers, or soap operas on the TV (I don’t watch TV!) Btw I’m not joking the stories I have heard!!
I’ve also overheard conversations that are so sad and upsetting, bare in mind they’re impossible not to overhear, perhaps when someone sits in their comfy Italian leather reclining seat they’re totally aware the person in the seat behind can hear every word? The other week a young woman from the seat in front of me was chatting to her mother in tears, letting her heart out as daughters do explaining how she could no longer afford the mortgage payments on her house and other bills, and by the time I’d descended the double decker stairs to get off believe me when I tell you 20minutes of sadness and upset had left me in bits. I almost felt like giving the young lady a gift of money (but is that patronising to admit), I’ve even felt guilty that I am lucky to be relatively well off!
I don’t know some people seem do get the rough end of life, so far I haven’t, but I’m afraid I’m unsure I could emotionally handle having my life turned upside down? Perhaps the consequence for my timidity is I’m a guy who doesn’t take a risk……. is still single…… a little unhappy lol.
The most entertaining eavesdrop I’ve had by far lol was again sitting on a bus! A jaw dropping tale where the girl behind who was retelling lurid stories of her slutty behaviour while being on holiday with friends in some Spanish holiday resort, fabulously entertaining that was! You’ll get the gist when I say she was a ‘sleep all day, drink party and sex all night girl’, well turns out she’d slept with a different guy every SINGLE night, good for her, you’re a long time dead!
Jeeze I was so envious………… why didn’t I go to Spain in my twenties? 😀
(Btw I’ll skip the conversation where three girls were comparing their shopping purchases and discussing the pitfalls of wearing bras that are tooo small……………….. honestly I ask you!!! And just the other week the girl sitting next to me was regaling tales of her first leg waxing session to her friend………….. after five minutes or so I had to turn and look at her, I smiled with raised eyebrows, she went red and her friend couldn’t stop laughing………….. either I’ve never noticed this before or times have changed and I’m getting old?)
Oh yes back to the entertaining eavesdrop!
Well on another journey home two teenage (@15) girls were seated across the aisle on the other side of the bus, a row in front of me, and suddenly my attention was pricked so to speak because the two young ladies were chatting about relationships and sex, oh and loudly with plenty of passengers within earshot. Well as you can imagine I’m listening into the conversation and I’d guess all the other commuters would have turned down their mp3 media, stopped reading their paperback novels all ears drawn to the girl’s sex talk. Then mid chatting about their love lives, one girl earnestly said to her friend and I could tell she was rather concerned worried and confused, saying in hushed tones,
“Can you catch STD’s from sleeping with another woman?”
Well I’m all frigging ears mulling over questions like ‘well can a woman catch an STD from sex with another woman?’ ‘And if so which ones?’ And I must admit I was as confused as the two girls! Well to cut a short story even shorter, her friend wasn’t much help and didn’t seem to know?
Then all of a sudden a middle age woman sitting a few rows in front of me, turned around from her seat, leant across to the two girls and answered,
“Yes you can my dear, you can catch STD’s.”
And having shared her caring advice she returned to her seat as if nothing had ever happened, then the worried girl turned to her friend and rather seriously said,
“I’d better get myself checked out then” and with that their conversation stopped or changed subject I cannot remember?………….. Hmm I wonder if she did get checked or have an STI.
Well as you can imagine I was in my element listening in (wouldn’t you be? Btw we all were), however I couldn’t help wondering who the rather brave knowledgeable helpful woman was? I remember thinking she must be a lovely person to bravely come to the rescue of a troubled teenager, perhaps she was a mother with daughters? A school teacher? Or just an example of someone with such great empathy, devoid of embarrassment, that she could no longer remain quiet knowing both the correct STI answer and how important the teenagers understood diseases are exchanged skin to skin.
I was truly touched.
I wouldn’t have had the nerve to speak up possibly because I was pretty confused myself! My brain was listing any number of sexual diseases before settling on Genital Herpes, I’m reliably informed Herpes is very easy to pick up from skin to skin sexual contact, but either way I wouldn’t have had the nerve to pipe up and neither did all the other commuters within earshot…………. hmm perhaps men should never get involved #MeToo and all that.
In life there are those who get involved and help others, and there are those who watch and do nothing? So I’m left wondering which one am I?
(Stating the obvious boys talk loudly over their mobile phones………………. but for some reason I only remember lurid tales told by young ladies 😀 probably because lady’s conversations are FAR more interesting engaging and darn right entertaining!)
I have for you this evening a fun amusing (finger’s crossed) light hearted post not to be taken tooo seriously, and jeez don’t you find time passes all to quickly in life generally, oh and here on WordPress, a week’s passed and I haven’t ‘published’ (for several reasons) but there you are.
So like I said time for a post that’s a little more light hearted and how does the Muppets backing vocals to a Sex Pistols song grab you? Hey? I’d like to theme this post our love of Language and introduce you to a word you may have never heard before.
Frigging! (And yes it’s in the Oxford English Dictionary)
Frigging: My go to Blog word in place of profanity/vulgarity, I’ll even go as far as to say it’s becoming a firm favourite, you’re all lovers of the English Language, so have you ever heard the word and do you know what Frigging means? Have you ever seen it written into a Blog? I tend to use Frigging in place of swearing within my Blog, it’s less vulgar and sound’s awesome dripping off the tongue!
But before I begin, here are the Sex Pistols and quite unbelievably a Muppet cover! I dare you not to smile. 😀
(I do hope the Band’s South London accent translates and you’ll understand the lyrics if not Google! However alas I don’t think the video ‘combo’ is Jim Henson’s but apparently he loved it!)
A second reason for writing this evening’s post is I came to realise after writing for a few months on WordPress my language was appalling, and by that I mean foul language. Oh yes I used f### and s###, as noun verb and it’s descriptive sister in crime adjective far far tooo often, once or twice is ok? Any more and the F word loses all shock value, it’s okay to perhaps emphasise a calamity or the worst of behaviour but unacceptable remembering teenagers may read my Posts? Don’t please 🙂 . AND as my old School teacher used to chastise, swearing is ‘lazy writing’ and I’m inclined to agree.
Not quite acceptable in everyday spoken polite society but if you did say “Frig me” or “Frigging Hell” it’s just about acceptable………… certainly sounds less harsh on the ear than ‘F’.
I first stumbled across Frigging as an 11yr old and I can remember precisely where I was and who said it. By Martin Ashby on a Scout camp in Hampshire 19##. But I’m doubtful anyone reading this post has either used or perhaps ever heard of Frigging? ……………… OMFG I’ve only this second realised I haven’t shared The Oxford English Dictionary meaning with you………….. Frigging means clitoral stimulation or to a lesser extent male masturbation, and now you know the meaning doesn’t it sound rather delicious? Anyways I apologise for revealing so late in this evening’s post.
So there you are, Frigging! I hope to see it written in your blog posts sooon! And btw don’t assume I’m a grammatical expert ask me to define verb and I’ll answer FU.
If a sober guy looks at your bosom, tell him to “please stop” and 98% will.
I have a brief tale to tell though before you ask, because I know you are curious! NO I didn’t take these lady’s photos, most definitely not but if you’re a prolific Google imager like myself then you never know what you will discover if you search hard enough.
😋 She fit’s my post!
🤔 Perhaps a cautionary tale though, goes to show ladies have to be very aware of men and their digital cameras, lean forward ‘snap’ and the boobs are on the internet!…………….. But not to worry, I’m using this lady both for a genuine reason and I’m assured she’s an anonymous D list celebrity? Hmm lol “I’m sayin nothin!”
Within my more thoughtful posts I have touched on the serious subject of sexual harassment, with the after #MeToo fallout very much in focus, well I have a true tale which I think throws up some interesting talking points.
Several weeks ago I was chatting to a young lad at work who said he’d been out drinking with three friends the evening before, turns out the sun was shining so all four were sat outside around a wooden table in the Pub’s garden…………. a very British pastime, every Public House will have it’s own small garden or terrace for patrons to enjoy.
So these four lads were quietly drinking beer at their table, all very civilised none were drunk or being rowdy or loud, they were I’m told chatting being sociable and having a laugh. All good fun and every so often a barmaid would visit their table for I guess empty glasses, take a bar food order or bring more drinks, then my friend tells me as the barmaid was leaning over their wooden table handing out pints of beer she said,
“Will you four stop trying to look down my blouse!”,
He went on to give more clarity to his tale, she wasn’t p#ssed the lads and barmaid were on very friendly terms, their interactions were all proper and above board and I’d guess being as she was a barmaid and they were lads I’d guess there was plenty of flirting and light hearted banter, after she’d err told them to stop I’d guess knowing my work colleague there’d have been amused protestations such as,
😉 “WHAT me?” (His words).
With ladles of wounded pride thrown in to good measure, and the way he shared his tale nothing more was said end of, certainly no Police were summoned or the Head Publican called to eject the lads from the premises, no the lady was quite aware they were peeking and for sure the lads were trying to glance down her open blouse…………….. I know for certain most men would!………. Now I realise ‘man hating lesbian feminists’ will disagree with what I am about to say,
“But don’t you think the barmaid handled the situation in exactly the right way?”
Btw I am also a feminist!
If she’d been getting increasingly tired of the lad’s furtive attention wasn’t warning the four 18yr teens enough? Yes the Pub garden is her very own workplace but there wasn’t any need to create a scene, the group and herself were all getting on fine, friendly and no doubt sexuality and the (adult) drinking atmosphere affected everyone’s behaviour, my friend saw the humour and the barmaid let it be known who was in charge……….. everyone had a giggle, the Pub didn’t lose four future paying customers and no scene or drama was created.
Ok I’d agree if you said my example of inappropriate behaviour is unique as every scenario will be, for one a drinking establishment barmaid won’t be any shrinking violet, she’d know exactly the right way to handle groups of leery lads who were overstepping the mark anyways you decide, I’ve met tiny barmaids who could eject fighting men just by a strength of personality.
Never argue with a p#ssed and angry woman, you’ll lose!!!
There of course could be an argument put forward by a certain British Police Commissioner that ladies should dress appropriately because short dresses can lead to unwanted attention, hmm who’s he blaming?
But I have a feeling the majority of right minded thinking adults agreed he was talking out of his arse and I’d hope his wife and daughters, if he had any, would have put him straight namely the fact a woman is assaulted isn’t her own fault, wear an open collared blouse if you wish AND I would add if a guy try’s to look down at your goodies, tell him to “get lost” or “please stop”.
And he will. Also.
If you’re in an underground train carriage and a guy attaches his grubby fingers to your ‘sweet lil ass’, tell him to “keep your hands to yourself!” And shout as loudly as you can so everyone else can hear you!
Confidence is key?
Okay I understand every case of sexual impropriety is different to another and further this blog isn’t a political platform only my own thoughts and observations, so what are mine?
For what it’s worth my own thoughts after hearing my colleagues Pub garden tale, was the barmaid handled herself correctly, the four decent hard working lads were warned and next time would hopefully be less obvious and take greater care when trying to look down a female’s open blouse!
No harm was done discuss!
Finally I’m here to say human beings are sexual animals, a woman will look at a man’s bulge in his trousers, a guy will look at a woman’s cleavage…………… you have to accept because that’s called ‘the way of the world’.
Early evening thoughts and now in comments tell me what you think please. 🤔
I have just returned from seeing my dentist and I’m feeling elated, on cloud nine my brain experiencing a legal chemical induced high and I know why. Anxiety consumed my mind as I pushed through the door into Mr Coull’s dental surgery, if that’s correct phrase, he does the examination cleans what little staining there is on the teeth with a jet of high pressure water, gives them a polish then says ,
“They look fine Andrew”, sporting his friendly smile such a charming man, soon followed with,
“I’ll see you in nine months, take care”.
And minutes later I leave his Practice yes feeling near ecstatic. You’ll all understand why visiting a dentist is so damn worrisome, first any work that has to be done is frigging expensive some people can cancel their annual holiday because a bill can be so expensive, secondly any work done is frigging painful, and lastly this is probably just the beginning of treatment because your teeth are on a downward spiral with dentures on the horizon………… yes I’m near orgasmic.
Examination over I walk straight for the supermarket with adrenalin and dopamine altering my mind and how I view the world, so strange it HAS TO be related to a body’s pleasure giving chemicals? Why else can you one minute be feeling utter sh#t then ten minutes later acting like your veins have taken a syringe of heroin? (Hypothetically speaking)
Anyways that’s not the only reason for tonight’s impromptu post. I had been extra worried today because several weeks ago my father, the one suffering memory problems, had Mr Coull extract umpteen teeth and he had a full mouthful!.
So let’s rewind my tale to first sitting in Hamish’s examination reclining chair, now comfortable I asked him,
“You’re my father’s dentist, several weeks ago you took 10 teeth out, does that mean bad teeth are hereditary and the same will happen to me?”
(Forgot to say I bumped into my Mum in the waiting room she’s broken a tooth! £256 for a crown, forgot to ask her how).
Back to my anxious question,
“Are bad teeth hereditary?”
“No Andrew, I cannot say to much because of patient confidentiality, but your father’s problem stems from drinking tea and coffee laced with sugar”.
I knew this of course in fact I’ve known he drank near hot syrup for the last 40 years”
Hamish Coull continued, “The reason is sugary drinks, however sugar isn’t the problem, let me explain, hypothetically if you ate a whole packet of biscuits straight off your mouth would soon recover as saliva neutralises plaque acid and you’d be back to normal.”
Hmm never heard that one before and he’s my dentist I thought to myself, fascinating insight.
He went further and I’m riveted.
“Regarding sugary hot drinks, the problems begin because it takes about half an hour to drink a cup of coffee, you take a mouthful, your mouth is acid filled for a few minutes and just as saliva is about to kick in, do it’s job, you take another sugary mouthful and as a consequence over that half hour your mouth has been filled with sugar and plaque acid for the whole time”.
“That’s why such a person would have ten decayed teeth taken out in one go!”
And there’s MORE bad news!
“I see the problem starting in young children because they’ll buy a tin of coke and then sip. Sip. Sip, and for ten minutes their teeth never recover from a prolonged acid attack!”
(That’s Sugar Free Coke for me from now on!)
Well all I can say is I wanted to share Mr Coull’s advice to my Readers, because tonight is the very first time I’ve heard the basic reason for tooth decay described in one short brilliant analogy by an expert (who my mum has a crush on!) Seems you can eat a whole packet of biscuits and be fine, but sip sugary drinks for half an hour and all your teeth will rot and be expensively painfully extracted.
Remember a tale for adults, all very tame ‘stuff ‘and NSFW.
‘I was tired from traveling bewildered with nowhere to sleep, the choice was stark a park bench for the night or him, so I chose him relieved to be safe at last.’
I guess an emotional shock heightens sharpens the senses and I remember every detail, he’d taken a chance just as he probably did every evening, he was a lovely guy, a gentleman, he didn’t force himself upon me which I’ll forever be grateful for, I could easily have been raped only to end my days as dismembered body parts in an unknown grave, a missing person never heard of again. Understand he was a nice guy!
Nervously I crept out of his en-suite bathroom wearing only a towel round my waist, clasping clothes bundled in my arms, my comfort blanket, I’d just had a lovely warm and pleasant shower only to be faced by the French guy standing naked a few paces from me. And to say I was startled no shocked is possibly the biggest understatement ever, we’d never spoken simply because my French was non existent and he spoke very little English, call him Gallic relaxed confident, and although nervous and a little fearful I didn’t panic, I’m a good judge of character and he’d been a lovely guy this whole evening.
In fact he’d been a perfect gentleman ever since picking me up at the Station, but beneath my very invigorating hot shower I’d slowly come to my senses, I finally understood he’d been more than very friendly striking up that conversation in the waiting room, he’d been cruising, I’d been picked up! The penny had dropped whilst hot water cascaded down my slim pink body, and I knew as I’d suspected, at long last I was sure he was gay.
Having showered, clutching clothes bundled in my arms I nervously stepped out the shower and walked into his en suite bedroom, omfg there my Frenchman stood like a statue in the doorway, all pink and naked and possibly the biggest fright of my life ‘gulp!’
Mildly adult themed therefore NSFW, incidentally did you know the anachronym stands for Not Suitable For Work? Hmm I didn’t until just recently, true.
I remember the afternoon I tasted a woman for the first time, close my eyes and I see two naked adults laying on a bed together, one a middle aged guy the other an Irish lady with dusty blonde hair and a few miles on the clock. Curvaceous she was with round perky tits, a tiny waist as you could ever hope to see and conversely wide child bearing hips giving her a classic pear shape figure as only English girls usually have.
So there we lay in a swanky London bedroom (hmm we’ll name her Rosie) the day she agreed to me going down below, she wasn’t sure mind biting her bottom lip with thoughts of I want to but let him wait, and a guy must never EVER pressurise a lady into doing something she’s not keen to. There Rosie lay on a friend’s large double bed, a window to our right curtains drawn with Autumn sun streaming onto us two naked lovers, passion filled and excited as two giddy intoxicated teenagers making love for the first time, the warmth of the sunlight making the temperature just right against a new season chill.
I asked, she agreed and neither of us had come after much kissing and fondling building to an intensity as only fabulous foreplay can do, the consequence both our brains were nervously excited and sexually stimulated as I moved from laying beside her warm fragrant body of sizeable hips and boobs jiggling like cold jelly sitting on a plate. Rosie parted her thighs, slowly to reveal sweet honey as you lift the lid of a beehive, a wonderous gorgeous moment as her lips curtain open, a moment I will never tire of till my dying day ❤ .
Rosie now laying in the most receptive position a woman could ever give of herself if a little precarious, her outer labia parted revealing moistened pink flesh, plump soft folds near succulent to eat now made ever more shocking contrasted against milky white skin! But no I wasn’t going to slip and slide my hardness inside, no not for a while anyway, this afternoon I’d been given permission to lick and taste this wonderous beautiful oh so erotic opening leading deep inside a woman’s physical soul.
I knelt before her as if praying at a religious altar, a special Godly place where you discover the meaning to life after entering heaven’s pearly gates. I smoothed the palms of my hands up and down her milk white silken thighs, touching for a second the pink patch surrounding her V, a colour of skin hidden by a woman’s panties and ever so erotic if you happen to see a lady her skirt drawn up her thighs, her intimacy hidden by soft white cotton delicates, if lucky you can just make out this flush tinted skin and yes very different to the rest of her body. Erotic. Secret and seldom often seen?
I’d waited my whole adult life for this moment, Rosie wide open her wet treasure glistening in the sunlight, me kneeling stroking with a finger, touching her pink rose petal the surrounding to her lips only to quickly pull away, tease her, arouse and excite, then Rosie having had enough of my annoying foreplay says,
“Go on Andrew lick me!”………….. a woman of few words was Rosie and if you want something badly enough do you need to ask twice when the connection you have with a lover is a near telepathic joining of souls!
Continuedfrom Helen partoneclick‘pingback here’ and 2 days later here’s the ending, also mildadult fiction.
Quick as a flash, I turned and near ran through my living room door……….
………………… pulling the front door shut behind me! Helen had disappeared from clipping her pink roses hadn’t she, vanished into thin air?
I paused in my driveway my breathing beginning to steady as a spinning brain caught up after a very surreal last half an hour. One minute I’d been jerking myself off watching my gardening neighbour’s jiggling boobs within her yellow blouse, the next Helen over the road lifted the cotton top, showing me her pert round breasts and on reflection I’d say they’re a B cup!
Anyways now I’m perspiring searching for Helen who, if you read part 1, had incredibly beckoned me over to her home!
A thought crossed my mind, ‘the minx was playing games, she’d caught me watching her garden and teasingly flashed her tits’, oh ‘blank’ my heart sank! Helen’s getting her own back, leading me on with intentions of………. ?
A feeling of disappointment seeped into my mind, no more a worrisome thought, perhaps she’d cleared off to tell her husband I’m a Peeping Tom! ‘Oh God No’ as I quite involuntary felt an ache in my stomach, then my mature wet dream with a smiling face appeared from behind the corner of her house.
Waving her arms vigorously, Helen beckoned me a second time calling out,
“Andrew!……………….. Andrew, hurry up man” taking a sideways glance up the road she turned and continues,
“Hurry up, we haven’t much time!” All the while her arm waving me over and quite vigorous it was to, yummy mummy Helen really DID want me OVER!
Hurriedly stepping off the pavement I ran across the road remembering to glance both directions,
“Jeeze I don’t want to be hit by a car not now of all days”, I muttered.
My mind now trying to comprehend what an earth was happening in my life, at the same time a beating heart pounding within my chest blood pumping into my brain giving a numbed headache, a sexually excited thought consumed me as I jogged toward her garage and down a tiled path toward an alleyway leading to her rear garden, ‘doe’s she want my hard dick I wonder?’
From gazing out my window to jogging this claustrophobic pathway is but a minute yet felt like a lifetime, I mused “Hell’s fire, is this crazy woman tripping on drugs?”
No sooner had I finished saying what could be my final sentence here on earth, my pace slowing to a briskness as I walked from the shadowed confines of a tight walled alley into the glaring sun of a VERY surreal late afternoon!
I stopped, soon followed by a near heart attack that could have taken my final breath as Helen jumped out from behind the house, flinging her arms around my shoulders she drew me closer as her back hit the wall and rather too hard to be comfortable.
Helen’s arms encircling my shoulders, my face but inches away from hers I felt warm breath against my mouth, and pulling me yet tighter into her body my two hands moved aside her hips as curling fingers held Helen’s waist. So close now our bodies touching from chest to thighs I felt her warmth through thin cotton fabric, her bosom rising with every intake of excited breath, my bulging groin now pressing deep into Helen’s crotch, and so large was my thickened dick it felt uncomfortable to move.
We kissed, passionately two adulterous lover’s wet lips parted open, the tips of our tongues touching entwined and dancing, my eyes wide open, Helen’s closed as her head moved from one side to the other her gorging lips devouring mine. For several minutes we deep throat kissed until finally one of us said something breaking a pre coitus silence.
Pulling her face from mine, Helen quite out of breath said,
“Andrew we haven’t much time”, smiling so sweetly her lips pecked me on mine and my heart began to sing, now my frenzied brain had finally caught up with the past 5 minutes near dreamlike incredulity. ‘Oh yes I’m quite alive’ I mused while standing in Helen’s rear garden pressing her against the wall kissing cuddling and for this brief moment her soft wet lips showed all I ever needed to know, ‘Helen wanted me, needed me, loved me!’
“My husband’s buying paint at the DIY store” she smiled a wanting fire lit in her eyes, “there’s no time to f### right now”, that was a shock and a half I can tell you……. ‘WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT SEX?’ “But I will jerk you off this time” she continued with a grin “I could see you staring at me and wanking, you dirty devil Andrew!”
Pausing blushing and smiling at my adulterous siren, Helen went further, “I was watching your right arm jerking, tell me did you come?”
“NO, and stopping near killed me Helen!”
Me open mouthed, a look of shock across my face, I just about got a questioning “you mean my curtain’s are actually see through?”
Then at the very point of Helen answering, my torso pulled back, the palm of my open right hand thrust into her crotch groping and squeezing her intimacy, my fingers prising her thighs apart as they curled underneath her fanny bridge, warm soft no doubt twitching and ready.
Helen gasped whatever she was about to answer unable to come from her mouth.
I squeezed her crotch tighter cupping my palm ever wider, the other hand now tugging at the button of her jeans a sexual excitement overtaking any lingering inhibitions. My imagination had long ago dissipated now replaced by a carnal primeval lust, the only thought ‘my fingers are going between her pussy lips whether she stops me or not!’
(Remember 🙂 this is a tall tale)
My fumbling fingers having unbutton her jean’s 28″ waist I pulled down the cold metal zipper, excitedly tugging at the raw cotton sliding down her shapely thighs, bending my knees as I crouched. Standing again my left arm reached around Helen’s hip an open hand squeezing a buttock feeling it’s roundness beneath soft cotton panties. As my right hand felt her ass, fingers of my other hand fumbled again into Helen’s crotch as I pulled her pantie gusset to one side, wriggling dexterous fingers in between parted folds of moist labia, all the while our faces but inch’s apart staring into each others eyes and both breathing ever deeper.
She smiled again, whimpering panting then catching a breath again as my dancing fingers touched a sacred pleasure spot, and after what seemed an age of fingering Helen’s dripping wet treasure, she worriedly repeated her stark warning,
“Paul won’t be long, we’ll f### another day Andrew” betraying a sadness in her eyes, she continued “you feel so big and thick against me, I’ll take you inside I promise”, then glancing down at her wrist watch and looking terrified, she said,
“Omg he’ll return in minutes, you have to go! NOW!” Such a crying shame I mused with my hand deep under Helen’s crotch and fingers searching for god knows what inside her warm pussy?
The excitement all tooo much for me, remember I was at a point of climax but ten minutes ago, I felt my ball’s rising as their storks shortened, my throbbing penis bucking as gorgeous sensations excited the nerve endings around the rim of my ‘bellend’, “I can’t hold back any longer” I whispered, panicking thoughts of ‘this passion’s all to much for me’ flooding my mind numbed drugged and slightly euphoric.
My eyes losing contact with hers, my head jerked back as I ejaculated thick creamy semen into my boxer shorts, warm and sticking to my thigh, an audible “I’m coming” gasping through open lips as I released, and God how I kept releasing!
(All very tame content with zero sex, oh and BTW my last erotic sexy tale for a while 😉 )
A blogging tip for you, I’ve discovered after three months ‘writing’, and note ALL my own original work, I have discovered I write my 😉 ‘adult posts’ when I’m feeling a little frisky that’s sexually excited to you!
And I’m wondering if my stimulated mind is because my brain is experiencing a natural chemical induced high………….. and note the word natural, I’ve never taken drugs and neither should you, two teenagers died the other week having taken contaminated shit at a music festival………….. what a waste……. so tragic! 😦
But I’m at a loss as to the reasons why a slight hardness and a gentle twitch down below helps my writing process hmm all very strange? Yep for fear of labouring a point when I’m in the mood to create on WordPress, and I’m a touch sexually excited the sillier more explicit posts appear in my imagination, I just write and the mild adult themes pour out of me as if I’m day dreaming, take my post ‘open apology to women’ as an example…………………. all very odd! Ok hold on before you get tooo excited I should add I’m not hard for hours, jeeze NO!
Perhaps those wonderful pleasure giving chemicals serotonin and dopamine secreted into our brains during sex makes writing easier, do you know what I think lovemaking chemical compounds make writing more enjoyable and sexually themed! Likewise adrenalin sharpens the senses and concentrates the imagination, quickens the heart when you’re about to orgasm perhaps I’m on to something here? And no I’m not writing this bs for the purposes of a humorous post! (Ok I’ll agree I’m writing bs LOL) …… anyways I thought I’d share this writing tip with all you lovely bloggers out there.
(Puts his laptop into hibernation for half an hour whilst he takes a lovely skin tingling shower, warm water flowing down his slim lightly toned figure.)
I’ve been thinking about this post in the shower and note the only place to idly dream up really good blog ideas, and yes I definitely find writing easier when ever-so slightly sexually stimulated or perhaps we’re more creative when we feel particularly happy, no let me rephrase creative in a certain way because many great works of fiction begin in dark recesses of an author’s imagination. I know my posts are absolutely dire when I’m depressed……….. and btw do you find the biggest frustration is being halted in free flow by a sentence which can be written 3 totally different ways, each as good as the other, yet for the life of you, you cannot choose which to use!
Hmm why not give writing a try when you’re sexually ‘turned on’ 😉 , the results could be hilarious awful or gloriously sensual but remember WordPress have mature content rules 🙂 .
Early evening thoughts with MILD adult themes…………. honest and respectful as always (comment if you’ve had your fill of my female sexual observations and objectification of the female human animal’s body)………….. my imagination I fear is out of control 7 o’clock at night, I’m incorrigible, my hardness is excited and twitching hence I write because these posts are fun and keep me interested when WordPress feels a lonely place……… 123 ahhh 😀
Does anyone honestly think this photo below is offensive?
A question for you, why is the female breast nipple such a big deal for a guy? And I’d agree with you ladies who say nipples shouldn’t be, after all they have one purpose in life to allow a nursing baby to latch onto the breast and drink mum’s milky goodness, big f#cking deal? Then babes grow into healthy toddlers having benefitted from the nourishment natural milk brings, AND yet still in 2018 breast nipples visible in public are a big issue with guys (me as well)…………………… but then you ladies ALREADY know this!
I fear all men at heart are really bigger versions of immature juvenile adolescents, and over the past 35 years I’ve worked with many immature juvenile adults who sadly objectify the women’s body BUT are women equally as bad…………. that’s a whole different blog post!
Returning to breast nipples!
Yes nipples for a guy are a big deal, however hard I try I cannot stop myself from noticing when either in the company of a braless woman, or looking when passing a young lady in the street who’s taken the brave and courageous decision (an awful statement but I fear they have) to go ‘free’ beneath her tightfitting orange tee shirt, as happened with the young lady Friday afternoon as she passed me in Oxford High Street……….. a heavenly vision of a naturel wonderment she was.
So to you Miss, and I know you wont be reading this silly blog post, but if you did I must apologise if I made you feel uncomfortable as I stared at your breasts bouncing and jiggling as you briskly walked along the pavement, I gazed for rather a long time I know, more than is appropriate, my defence is their perky exquisite shape was female perfection personified (note as are all ladies breasts are), yes I felt a little ashamed afterwards 😦 .
(Yes a little. And note this uncontroversial post will make sense by the finish)
I’m lol aware I’m afflicted and note from a respectful appropriate distance, I realise I have a boob obsession I’m going to seek medical help (I’m not but it’s a great line!) But then hasn’t God evolution and mother nature left all mankind gloriously captivated by these wonderous milky goodies……….. and yes I realise God and Darwinist theories of evolution are not happy bedfellows.
Guilty as charged, every lady I’ve ever been lucky enough to watch undress before we consummate, the second she takes her bra off I go weak at the knees and near pass out and I’m not joking for effect!
So returning to my Oxford lady wearing the orange tee shirt yes I’m guilty as charged for being utterly transfixed by her nipples perhaps made more prominent by the cold wind breezing down Oxford High Street……….. and being absolutely serious for a second I think my gaze made her feel uncomfortable and yesI am sorry because well………. I’m guilty of bullying! ……………………….. (But lol she smiled at me so all’s good 🙂 )
Honest of me to admit this don’t you think? Or are any female readers shaking their heads thinking to themselves this is the reason I never ever leave the house without first strapping those two ‘droopy girls’ into a medieval torture device, with sharp underwires that chafe the skin, made red and sore by a garment they cannot wait to fling off when first returning home so uncomfortable is the bra to wear.
Now seems as good a place as any to share a video I first watched months ago, the truth is I wanted to share a female’s perspective and Sophie’s video is well very very good. I’ve asked her permission which is right and proper and click ‘here’for a link to Sophie’s YouTube ‘here’ for her Twitter (btw I do not Tweet!), Incidentally she’s a Vegan activist, guru to minimalist living and zero waste, practices Yoga and Pilates all very intriguing don’t you think?
Sophie’s Video 🙂
Interesting watching wasn’t it, are you convinced and now for the rest of my breast nipple post!
(Depending on how this post fairs I have further posts themed breast implants and bra designs in draft………… btw you should SEE the content I have in draft lol I’d be shut down but NOTE I never ever show inappropriate photos on my blog!
But breasts are essential aren’t they, beautiful and however juvenile and adolescent you may think men are for looking, I’m afraid we’re utterly transfixed by a woman’s pointy hard nipples made evermore prominent with thin cotton fabric draping over their shape.
So what’s to do? What’s the answer and I would rather controversially suggest bras should be banned and made illegal, women should be fined prosecuted and sent to bra prison untilthey learn the error of their ways, instructed to comply with Laws that say wearing such a useless garment is well just plain wrong!
Hmm on reflection perhaps that’s a touch controversial…….. well perhaps more than a touch?
Oh yes where was I? Nipples! Keep on-message.
But hold on perhaps if every woman lived her daily life as God intended, their body free of a garment designed to hide the nipple from men’s gaze, because that’s all I see they are because I’m reliably assured breasts become firmer, tendons become stronger when no longer constrained confined and unnaturally shaped by ill fitting bra cups as Marks & Spencer’s reliably says YOU are!
If every woman went braless then perhaps nipples wouldn’t be the novelty for men they presently are?
Picture left is a Googled image btw, both are!!
Because Britain is gloriously in the midst of a warm humid summer heatwave, on three separate occasions this week I’ve seen a woman in Oxford braless beneath her dress AND for my sins I can picture all three, yes a sad fact to admit but I can visually recall all err sixes shape bounce jiggle and prominent nipple, I take my proverbial hat off to the ladies having the guts to go au naturel because the unwanted attention from wandering male gazes must be near unbearable a sad fact of life but I fear the way God made us.
I’ll leave this rather light hearted post brimming full of uncontroversial slightly male chauvinistic observations with one final anecdote.
As a male child of age thirteen, a coming of age in a young man’s life lol, I remember first visiting the South of France for our summer holiday, and until my dying day I’ll never forget my first day visiting the sandy beach affront of a warm Mediterranean sea. Unforgettable not for being my first time there, no astonishing because the thought hadn’t ever crossed my mind that back in the 1980’s virtually every woman enjoying the sun sea and sand wouldn’t be wearing a bikini top!
Unbelievable incredible, I remember I thought I’d died and gone to heaven but importantly this day was before the internet, pre YouTube, digital cameras were a pipe dream, thesewere the days a woman could get her tits out knowing for certain their photo wouldn’t become a viral image and shared around the world? These were the days before home PC’s, hard-drives and picture folders, years before adult websites we’re informed drive internet content, no back in the 80’s a woman could take her bra off in the perfect knowledge no one cared apart from teenage boys………. oh and their dad’s!
Hmm thinking about it, that virtually covers all male mankind.
But here’s a thing! After lol an hour or so the novelty of first seeing a woman’s boobs passed by, truthfully and I’ve mentally run this thought many times, after one hour of incredulous staring women’s unfettered boobs became a perfectly natural ‘jiggling pendulous’ sight, and I guess by the end of the day on the beach breasts had near lost theirsexual appeal (well nearly). Bare breasts had honestly become accepted as the new normality, no longer a big deal and in fact a woman would have appeared out of place odd and unusual if she HAD been wearing a bikini top!
Unbelievable I know, but if you’d been bathing on that beach however a prim proper classy sophisticated ‘good girl’ you are, oh yes your tits would be a swinging, the cool air sea breezes making your nipples go hard and pointy…………….. that’s ENOUGH Andrew!!
So there you are, controversial opinions I know, but if bras were banned and everywoman enjoyed life free of this ridiculous garment, her shoulder tendons would be stronger, therewouldn’t be these unfounded irresponsible theories of bra’s being connected to cancer (I’m here to tell you they exist controversial or not and I think they’re wrong but what do I know) AND men wouldn’t notice the jiggle! Then I can assure you the sight of prominent nipples as with my Oxford lady in orange tight fitting tee shirt, would become the new norm and perfectly acceptable and yes no longer a big deal!
Always remember (please try I know this can be difficult) I’m DEFINITLY NOT a sex blogger but I’m no different to every other adult walking this spinning planet, I experience funny urges you all do, so being as I’m an observational ‘writer’ and adults are sexual animals therefore life and love will time to time combine together in a post………….. so if you’re under 18 you’ll find NOT a jot of interest here…………….. incidentally if you’re over 18 you may not either………… but hopefully yes.
So if you’ve been following this Blog closely you’ll understand my favourite’s cowgirl, if you didn’t already realise there are 64 BECAUSE having followed my tales you’ll now know there are 64 so hopefully you should be asking yourself ‘how many have I tried with another human being male or female?’ Oh and be aware you can lose 250 calories missionary and I’ve yet ONE more nugget of adult information for you namely a ladies favourite clothes free fun and games activity is doggy!
I’d bet you didn’t know that or lol perhaps it’s fake news 😀
If you’re unaware, I’ve been near obsessed trying to figure how many I have been enjoying with a lady? Just the other day I was sat in my Doctor’s surgery note absolutely nothing to do with you know whats, and I found myself picking up a magazine from the waiting room coffee table THEN proceeding to jot down this numbered list of how many I’ve tried? I counted 7 but then I thought being sucked is a definite but is spanking a bottom whilst being sucked an on its own position? Or a variation of one theme? Still lol passes the time jotting any type of list whatever that may be, I only hope someone rather intrigued doesn’t ask me what I’m doing!
If at this point reading you’re none the wiser and haven’t an earthly as to what I’m hinting to? Then shame on you for not Following my blog btw I’m ONLY joking! And further still apparently, and read carefully, a ‘Lady of the Night’s’ favourite is yes you’ve guessed doggy, so if you enjoy being uhmm from behind then perhaps keep in mind you could work in the service industry, upmarket because all you reading right now I know are classy men and women!
Hmm after reading this insightful observation of female positional preference, taken from the internet incidentally, and yes after having taken her from the rear I got to wondering why so popular with 51% of the population? I guess crouched on the bed ‘all fours’ means you don’t have some great weight laying on top, not forgetting legs wide akimbo is a rather uncomfortable position to be ploughed into by some dribbling, gasping for air, over excited ‘person’?
But being serious for a second, again I guess because I actually don’t know the answer, I would imagine ladies can absently minded stare at the bed’s headboard without looking him in the face, especially if she had a headache and didn’t feel like it tonight, but she resigned herself to keeping partner content and happy so relented, but at least with doggy you could even read a book, plan next week’s food shop at the supermarket or ask yourself why are my in-laws such frigging hard work?
So yes why not go doggy, forearms pressed deep into the soft spongy quilt cover, allow him to at least touch you by only holding by the waist and MAKE him do all the work, whatever the reason it’s all very sedate, no effort and keeps hubby happy.
Apologies to any readers bored by my meandering adult observational musings, early evening thoughts!
Be aware mild sexual themes, my Muppet/Sex Pistol post is next.
Btw if you are at all curious as to what prompted this evening’s sxual musings, I made love to a lovely lady this afternoon and I’m feeling pretty good about life…………. yes all very self indulgent and perhaps maybe showing off a little but hey lol it’s my WordPress 🙂 . Ok why not call my relaxed easy going contentment a moment to be treasured (been a while) BECAUSE all feelings of post coital joy will have worn off by tomorrow but as of right now, my place in the grand scheme of Planet Earth is a moment of easy going, up-beat, carefree joy and all is well with my life! Lol never lasts!
Changing tack (nautical like) did you know or should I say were you aware10 minutes missionary burns 250 calories so says an American medical study and I never knew this apparently the world average time from beginning to consummation takes 5 minutes (jeeze I’m going to have to try harder), btw I read it on tinternet so must be true! Yep making love with your partner only burns 250 calories, hmm a bit of a bummer when there’s 200 calories in a Sainsburys sugar rim donut!
But look on the bright side at least you had fun and no doubt a giggle. Yes my friend and I were intimate together and for 2 hours or so our souls connected and became as one but the sx aside, which was 😉 ok, more than anything else I enjoyed her company, the warmth of her body as we embraced, massaging and stroking her silky soft skin, kissing deep into her ass cheek, all a lot more fun than rolling around the bedsheets (as if two 50yr olds friggin could, her with a dodgy knee and me with my pulled shoulder!)
We made love and it was beautiful……………… but alas with a Monday morning comes hassle pressure and hard work! Pay’s the Bills I guess!
I’m not actually quite sure where I’m going with this post, not a new problem of mine but I’ll run with it. As I stated in an earlier post read your copy of the Kama Sutra and it’ll say there are 64 known positions for having sx, oh you haven’t a copy of this lover’s Bible well neither have I! But ever since I happened across this nugget of trivia I’ve wondered how many positions has a lady and myself attempted trying to consummate our love making and I’ve counted 6 or 7 maybe even 8!
If you’re disgusted (bored) or ‘whatever’, feel free to comment but I HAVE been discreet, your awareness of the lady is a little less than of Eve, and note how sex with a lover always should be!
A. Shepherdson 2018
(Btw I neither Tag or Categorise a post with sexual words simply because I’m NOT a sex Blogger)
What do you think the female Dutch public’s reaction was to their biking Policemen? Unprintable I guess. 😛
The second part (marked) is a response of sorts to my own peeing Policewoman tale and yes all very serious and depressing, hmm? Was it written this way simply because I woke up that morning morose miserable and lol in a bad move? I was going to scrub and write it again but no I’ll keep it and you choose, however I’ll also add some of today’s thoughts so call this part 1………. jeeze this is a frigging long post but what else you gonna do? Go back to bed and lol play with yourself? There’s a thought!
Today’s part 1
A lovely lady Blogger commented “………this ‘post’ makes me not wanna visit peaceful places……….” and omg I thought to myself ‘no NO we should never change the way we live and enjoy our lives just because once in a while bad things happen’. BUT I understand what she means.
Several years ago a schoolgirl was abducted from the Streets of my home City, in broad ‘early morning’ daylight, then driven to a place she couldn’t recall and subjected to a 4 hour gang rape.
A brazen horrendous crime, a news story that went viral right across the Globe and the public reaction in Oxford was equally as shocking. Street’s emptied of walking pedestrians, Schools instructed parents to drive their girls to School and NEVER let them walk alone and most shockingly of ALL recreation Parks of ‘swings and slides’ had near tumbleweed blowing through them. In the space of one day and for weeks after not a single soul would be seen playing in a Park, no joggers no picnicking mothers my Town was a Ghost Town.
Then life slowly began to get back to normal as life always does and if you remember hearing this Schoolgirl gang rape abduction story, then you may not have heard the girl lied, and yes you DID read that phrase correctly, perhaps she was disturbed or an attention seeker? It turns out several months later she made the whole sorry story up, a complete and utter tissue of lies jeeze the trouble she caused, in fact Thames Valley Police even Tweeted a stark message on their Twitter Feed……..
‘That abduction never happened!’
I already new this because I have a source lol long story! (A mate at work who know a ‘Copper’ 😀 ) But I think my tale proves we should never ever change the way we live our lives, just perhaps take extra care and assess possible risks and eventualities? ……….. So if you want to visit a common GO! It’s a great place to have a family picnic and if you’re really really lucky you may spot a policewoman ‘skirt up knickers down pussy out and peeing’, BUT don’t worry you’ll never see the like of her again! 😦
Part 2. Yesterday’s rather depressingly written serious additional thoughts of sexual crime and punishment.
I hope you got to read Sunday’s post if not click ‘here’ 🙂 and let me first say I know the three tales perhaps don’t sit happily together however they are interlinked, except yes I’d agree an amusing peeing Policewoman tale and a serious sexual assault probably don’t, but being honest I’m ok with the post.
When I first began my WordPress I had only two rules in mind, 1 there’ll be no talk of Religion, 2 it’ll be a Politics free zone, not because I’m someone who sticks their head in the proverbial sand, no because I don’t want to ‘write’ about Muslim fundamentalism and how BREXIT is damaging my Country…………. I guess that’s why my posts are hopefully a fun read and note always honest, but then again lol I reserve the right to talk about Politics Religion or discuss Sex Crime if I wish to. (I don’t!)
So again keeping yesterday’s post in mind, if you really feel like reading that news story, I’m providing the link to my local newspaper ‘here’ and the assault of a woman crossing my local common for no other reason than you maybe interested? But one word of warning, the article is troubling reading because as I explained before, the rapist was bailed to attend Court for raping another woman however two Police Force Regions didn’t share evidence, consequently he carried out this second horrific assault when he SHOULD have been in Prison? I know an awful mistake!…………… Anyways the link is above if you’d like to read.
That an assault happened in a sleepy English rural Town set in rolling Countryside is a stark reminder serious crime ‘can happen to anyone anywhere anytime’, and not just for females I’m more careful about my personal safety than I have been in my life before. Don’t you ever assume the UK is a low crime society, perhaps Downton Abbey and all the other sickly sweet period dramas have you believe Britain is an idyllic land of Countryside rustic villages and only white people! No we’re multicultural therefore the Far Right white are pitted against Muslim fundamentalism, and as for crime levels, jeeze in all my years living here I’ve never known crime levels so high, street robbery and violence are all to regular news events.
(Blah blah blah………. 😀 lol )
But life has to go on, so consequently wherever I go these days I’m aware of my surroundings more than ever. I’ll keep a firm grip of my wallet when in public places, I try to be always within a group of pedestrians and ALWAYS keep half an eye out for young men on scooters, they may either ride up and steal your mobile phone or if you’re in London throw a bottle of Sulphuric Acid in your face! Perhaps I exaggerate but these days you have to be aware.
Comments are disabled, blogs names and specific details are omitted out of respect, and as always original content. (I know lol all very mysterious and ever so melodramatic! But hey I do try. 😀 )
A reply of sorts, more so thoughts and musings intended for a blogger I’ve followed for 3 months now, AND for anyone else who cares to read………………. if you smile great, murmur ‘wtf’ better, mutter to yourself ‘mind your own blanking business’ that’s fine, it’s all good good with me. 🙂
I’m unsure if ‘you’ read my posts, if so you’ll hopefully appreciate I’m very honest and err whether I’m good or bad I write whatever’s on my mind at the time, so I’m hoping you accept this evening’s thoughts in the good natured spirit they are written, for my sins lol I enjoy responding to other bloggers posts. Just perhaps call these thoughts from the perspective of a red blooded (nice) guy. 🙂
To begin with, you tag a great many of your posts ‘anxiety’ ‘body image’ and ‘body dysmorphic disorder’, and I don’t take responding to these tags lightly, I’ve read a few internet resources as well as your posts, I’m an empathetic type and just know 🙂 I’ve done my research.
I’ll begin by quoting a paragraph from your most recent blog so that you’ll have an idea as to the direction I’m coming from:
‘……………… has been getting to me more than usual. It could be because every day the wedding draws closer, and so does the honeymoon. This perfect image I have had in my head since I was a teenager of my honeymoon consisting of giggles, laughter and lovemaking is turning into a dream that I can only wish for. No one should have to dream up their honeymoon and never actually live it.’ Hmm very sad to read so let me try to be a little positive and helpful from now on!
I’m unmarried however (and I’m not bragging btw) I have had a fair few sexual partners in my time enough said, I enjoy regular (vaginal sx) however give me the choice of a fantastic body tingling sexual missionary experience OR kissing cuddles intimacy and an emotional connection then I’ll take the latter every single occasion. To me sx with an absence of intimacy is a waste of emotional energy which if has ever happened, always left me deeply depressed…………. but that’s enough about mee!
Here’s a trivial fact for you, might come in handy if you get on ‘Who Wants To Become a Millionaire’, did you know Vatsyayana’s ‘Kama Sutra’ states there are 64 sex positions, SIXTY frigging FOUR for heaven’s sake!!! Jeeze I’ve only tried 6………..no 7, perhaps 8? Oh and he states there are 8 fellatio positions on their own….. apparently! Now talking of fellatio, and I doubt I have to explain what the word means to you readers, I do get side tracked, I commented on your blog this evening, sat down to eat my tea and the idea for this post crystallised once AGAIN into my imagination because I nearly wrote a post similar once before!
Time for a diagram ‘lifted’ from Cosmopolitan magazine,
No more pictures, err I think above explains all!
Sharing with guys ladies and a female reader in mind, I’ve often asked myself do I prefer vaginal sex or having fellatio performed on me? (By a lady) And I have to say, being completely honest, if really pushed for an answer I will say I’d take fellatio every single time, the warmth of the lady’s mouth, wetness of her saliver helping her lips slide up and down my hardness heightens the sexual pleasure to a whole different level, sensual erotic pleasurable and err orgasmic comes to mind. Not forgetting those two magic words intimacy and connection, if the lady is on her knees, gently sucking whilst gazing up at me with her two doe eyes, well all I can say is our emotional connection is almost telepathic or perhaps serotonin dopamine and other pleasure giving chemicals heighten a closeness attachment and love you have with a partner, either way having a woman perform oral sex is a gorgeous out of this world experience and DEEPLY satisfying rewarding even…….. take it from me, the sensory pleasure felt is near fabulously indescribable…….. hmm mee thinks a useful tool for a honeymoon I’d guess! AND take it from me good girls will.
Now that I’ve disabled comments, I find I do have one question, do good girls consider putting their lips around a clean hardness, in their mouths unladylike? Dirty even? Not for me? I hope not because out of all sixty frigging four positions, for a guy fellatio has to be number 1 or 2. However with ONE caveat I’d say the lady has to enjoy blowing for the sx to be truly enjoyable and loving, but I guess ‘practice makes perfect’ as my mother used to say!
Btw these following generic tips are intended for any lovely person reading, whichever your sexual orientation lol it’s all good to me. 🙂
A few BJ tips for any ladies reading, If you’re giving a guy a bj, ask him questions about his likes, guys all enjoy something different, questions like “Shall I use my hands? Do you want me to lick the tip? Am I using enough pressure?” Are I guess added foreplay. Take it from me asking helps to relax a guy, it shows him you’re enjoying what you’re doing, and again personally speaking I’m always asking myself ‘Is she enjoying this?’ A guy won’t experience pleasure unless he knows a partner is!
Jeeze I’ve just caught a glimpse of my wordcount 950 words! Hmm I’ve ‘loads’ more to say so I’d better be brief or my readers will disappear. Communication is key, licking and sucking hard and fast may not be enough and I spent an afternoon with a lady who said she had (no better not say), anyways remember since the age13 boys have taught themselves to masturbate using their hands so licking and sucking may not be enough, I’d suggest a lady alternates stroking with her hand time to time to replicate his boyhood learnt technique also take a breather…………… hope this helps!
1000 words! I’d better share my tips even quicker!
Don’t ignore his balls be sure to kiss and gently tickle, suck if you wish but remember they’re not gobstoppers! And remember guys need foreplay rather than a lady heading straight for the hardness, AND never use your teeth and FINALLY the question of swallowing? Well put it this way a lady I know decided not to, so I guess the saying ‘good girls don’t’ pretty much applies lol.
So in conclusion I’m hoping I haven’t unintentionally offended ANYONE, as always over the past 2 years anything I write is meant to entertain however with this post keeping in mind those important tags of anxiety and body image, I truly believe no other sex position can better fellatio for intimacy pleasure and connecting between 2 human beings, useful on a honeymoon perhaps.
Photographs taken by myself 21/04/2018 apart from the 3 picture’s of pretty ladies wearing very little! You mean you don’t understand? Lol you’ll have to read on 😀 btw I’m NOT ‘click baiting’ readers, this post is ‘hopefully’ a blend of humour and historically serious………. in other words entertaining.
Towers and Churches(with a fun introduction)
The UK has experienced an unseasonal no lush incredible! Mini heatwave, we’ve just had the hottest 3 days since written records began, sorry for droning on about our weather lol but if you have a friend who’s from England then you’ll understand our national obsession, no our number one pastime, is talking about our weather! No word of a lie I kid you not we can experience all 4 seasons in one day, three weeks ago we had snow (click link) this weekend we’ve had blue skies high humidity brilliant sunshine and 28+ degrees, I’ll return to sultry steamy temperatures in a second. AND please take note of the Cemetery photos with their Bluebells and Daffodils, these pictures were snapped by me a week or so ago.
Enough of English weather lol, oh yes where was I? Saturday’s clammy sweat inducing sticky humid air, so tiring to walk through you’d imagine we lived in the Everglades!
Lol after waking Saturday morning (a night in bed all alone ahh), I made breakfast gazed out the kitchen window and thought to myself ‘yes I’ve had a long tiring week at work, but jeeze staying at home today of all days would be criminal’, so I grabbed my camera and decided to visit Oxford and wander around my home City as a sightseer, join all the other tourists taking photos…………… perhaps write a blog post?
Hold on what’s that noise I hear at the window? No word of a lie it’s frigging raining, you see what I mean, summer could be over and done with already!
Returning to this past Saturday. (If you don’t wish to read my observations of today’s pretty ladies skip a paragraph!)
I absolutely adore English hot sunny weather, the muggier stickier airless the better, and some of you may already know what I’m about to say next! At the slightest hint of stifling soupy hot temperatures ladies lose all their modesty and abandon layers of clothes, omg sweet Jesus do their clothes ever come off! Winter coats are hung up until next Tuesday and they hit the summer tee shirt chest of draws HARD and the results are gorgeously spectacular!
Look I understand I’m getting side tracked, the churches can wait I’m in free flow sharing my love of women!
The centre of my Town lies 10 minutes away, well after leaving home a hundred yards in I pass by the recreational Park and wow there stand’s a young mother wearing only a string vest with an oh so visible black bra underneath! A hundred yards further and I’m watching a mature lady approaching wearing a crisp white blouse, and the closer she gets I see she’s braless with unrestrained bundles of fun bouncing happily together, well I had to stop by the river’s bridge just to let my pulse slow down! Finally I arrive at the bus stop to Oxford and a petite very pretty young woman saunters past wearing beige HIGH cut hot pants with both buttocks hanging out!! Incredible, and I don’t know if her father had checked her dress code as she left her home? Afraid to say I hardened and twitched for a second or two 😉
These Googled images below remind me of today and all day, lol I shouldn’t share them should I but this is my blog and all that, you get the idea! 😦 We’ll be wearing winter coats by next Tuesday and sunny days of no bras and bouncing boobs will be but a memory 😦
😀 enough of sexy young women (and note sexy mature as well) let us quickly move on.
Part 1, today’s published Post, feature 2 Churches a Saxon Tower also Martyrs Memorial, I will try to be brief and to the point else this post will read as a history lesson, I DON’T want that either, you’ll have to visit Wikipedia and sift through the Fake posts for a history lesson.
Having said that, whilst wandering around Oxford’s busy Street’s alongside decanted bus loads of Japanese Tourists I suddenly thought to myself I pass these two Churches below every single day of my working week! Twice if you count in the times I pass by at 4.30pm on my way home (questioning myself ‘am I happy in my work?’ or do these feelings of discontentment plague every person who’s hit middle age?’)
Anyways enough of that silliness!
Returning to my bolt of lighting moment of revelation I did honestly realise I pass by these ancient landmarks each day, yet I know absolutely not a jot about their historical significance both a sobering and rather awful admission. So this Post was a history lesson for myself as much as you lol!
Btw between both Churches lies a strip of tarmaced road, on this site a Fair comes to Oxford every year and has done for the past 400 years!
The Saxon Tower at St. Michael at the North Gate, the Tower is one of the oldest Buildings in Britain no less, and these Churches are 12th Century so we’re talking OLD!
I wonder how many people you’d have to stop in the Street before someone could describe the history behind this this ancient Saxon Tower? (They don’t allow anyone to walk to the top anymore, Why? Because people keep jumping from tall buildings in Oxford!)
Originally built around 1000–1050, with the tower from 1040 still in existence, the church is Oxford’s oldest building. It was constructed of Coral Rag and until yesterday I’d never looked closely and yes there is coral in the mix!
The Oxford Martyrs were imprisoned in the Bocardo Prison before they were burnt at the stake in what is now Broad Street nearby 1555, at that time immediately outside the city and the cell door can be seen on display in the tower.
Saint Magdalene Church
This fascinating historic Church stands isolated on a traffic island at the south end of St Giles, near the Martyr’s Memorial. The first Church was built in the Saxon period and stood just outside the city walls replacing a timber church destroyed when Vikings attacked and burned most of Oxford down in 1010 and 1013.
The church was burnt down again in 1074,
In 1194 Saint Hugh, Bishop of Lincoln, had the Church rebuilt. Work of that period survives in the east wall of the chancel wall and in the south aisle, and the altar is dedicated to St Thomas Becket.
By 1235 the church had an altar dedicated to the Virgin Mary. The chancel was rebuilt late in the 13th century. A century later the scholars of newly founded Balliol College had an oratory dedicated to St Catherine in the present North aisle.
In 1320 the Carmelites founded a chapel in the south aisle, which survives as the present Lady Chapel.
The west tower was built between 1511 and 1531 with stone taken from the dissolved Oxford’s Cistercian Monastery.
Saint Giles Church
Built 12th 13th Century St. Giles Church lies 500 metres North of Oxford’s old city wall, standing in open fields with no other buildings between it and the city wall. As I said earlier that’s where the North Gate Church and Saxon Tower stands. Interestingly only about a thousand people lived within the walls of Oxford at this time, you should see outer Oxford now!
Damaged during the English Civil War when the Parliamentarian army besieged the Royalist force then defending Charles. John Goad, vicar from 1644 until 1646, is said to have led services in St. Giles during Parliamentary artillery bombardments in 1645.
Victorian gothic built to remember martyrs killed at the sight of execution virtually on the same spot! In 1840 when constructed it replaced tottering wooden house.
First off let me say I’m NOT homophobic, far from it, I’m a ‘live and let live’ kind of guy (as Long as no one gets hurt 🙂 ) whatever makes you happy in life then that’s fine by me. I’ll go further and say a person’s colour or sexuality has NO bearing on me, I take people as I find them so yes ‘live and let live’ ❤ .
Having said that some readers may find my tale err slightly unnerving?
Let me begin. This evening I have a light hearted lesbian story for you, this truly happened oh and just quickly, bare in mind my WordPress is whatever captures my imagination at the time.
I’m fine with lesbians they even feature in a bedtime fantasy of mine, I’ll take a second glance at two women kissing in public, lick my lips ever so slightly only because they don’t bother me, I guess that’s because I’m a heterosexual guy. Then again perhaps the spectacle of two girls kissing in public makes straight women feel icky? Or perhaps social niceties mean we’re of the opinion there’s a time and a place………………. called the bedroom!
I’ll go further and say the sight of two guys openly kissing in public makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, now HOLDON lol before judging me! (He say’s 😉 with tongue firmly in cheek!) I should qualify that statement with I’m not tooo keen on heterosexual couples kissing in public either, making out in full view ‘smacks’ of ‘look at us we’re SO happy’ and I have a feeling the kissing show is intended to make people jealous………. to be honest I’m as jealous as hell.
(Btw did you know threesomes, a guy in bed with two naked lesbians, is a well known male fantasy?)
Course you did!
Am I of the opinion a homosexual couple kissing, for example at a Supermarket Deli counter, will corrupt young minds? No of course not, quite the opposite toddlers would gaze amused bemused and transfixed, and you never know unconcealed same sex affection could possibly make children more accepting? Ask their mum’s tricky questions about homosexuality?
Perhaps there lies the problem.
Now to my true tale, writing passes the evening!
Several years ago a work colleague and myself were standing in a rather long queue of customers waiting to be served at a Shop Deli counter, buying freshly made (and expensive) sandwiches. Well to cut a short story even shorter, directly in front of my friend stood two young women who I’d guess were Uni students. Lovely young women they were, one girl had an arm resting on her friends shoulder in such an affectionate way that it was quite obvious they were in love, gazing longingly into each other’s eyes and YES every so often kissing passionately on the lips! (Almost tongues inside!!)
So they were shamelessly in love, fabulous, and I’d guess everyone in the Deli was well aware of our young couple’s passion for each other.
Then to my utter astonishment! My friend rather loudly says to the two girls,
“That’s disgusting, do you have to do that?”
Well as you’d imagine for a second or two everyone in the shop stopped talking, a hush descended on the Deli with everyone turning and looking, only for a few seconds mind. What happened next was all very civilised, with a complete lack of drama, the girls gave my friend an annoyed stare, stopped petting and all shop life returned to normal as if the brief confrontational interlude had never ever happened.
A very typical reserved English reaction, no drama no arguing, the girl’s paid for whatever (I can’t remember) and leave. Then it’s myself and friend’s turn, we purchased our baguettes headed for the door taking us out into the Main Street, WHERE my friend turns to me and says,
“Where are those girls?…….. I changed my mind……I want to watch!”
Making us both smile as we walked back to work. (To be honest I think he felt a little embarrassed at causing a minor scene back there.) BUT in his defence the girls had p*ssed him off, made him feel very uncomfortable.
As for me, well I’ll have to be honest and say I didn’t mind watching a lesbian show of affection 😀
I could have added for literary effect, the girls were within earshot, an argument ensued, but no the two lovers had disappeared perhaps off to bed? (Hmm there’s a thought 😉 ) And we two reverted back to topical male only conversations, lesbians kissing is a little filthy and quite amusing BUT there’s a time and a place! I never did ask him why he became so angry.
However speaking for myself, if two guys had been kissing and petting in that same Deli, making out directly in front of me in the queue, I’m here to tell you lol I’d become increasingly annoyed to point where I’d no longer be able to hold my tongue, and I’m positive I would politely say,
“Do you mind that’s disgusting!”
Now remember I’m not homophobic but I’ll be honest and say watching two men kissing makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, perhaps male on male intimacy is something I should be more accepting of? What do you think? Being serious for a second, perhaps we’re just biologically programmed to feel uncomfortable watching our identified gender being over intimate with, err a person of the same sex, men or women? Hmm questions for anthropologists to answer.
Does anyone care? No 😀 I say live and let live!
Feel free to share your thoughts in comments below…………. make them harsh lol.
(One final thought before I go, I’d still love a threesome with two naked lesbians, a male erotic fantasy if ever there was one!)
PLEASE don’t ever take this post tooo seriously, strictly just for fun.
My WordPress has been rather tooo sensible up to now, and I’ve drunk tooo much coffee tonight, jeeze I’m wired and jumpy as hell, so time me thinks for a candid honest and light hearted sx filled post.
I’m not a guy who’s turned on by pornography, in truth it bores me rigid, but yes I’m the first to admit Lust is my deadliest sin, I’m not a perv mind. it’s only I do enjoy observing the fair sx note age18+.
Every workday morning I arrive at the bus stop invariably to the rear of a certain young lady (at a safe distance note, age19) gorgeous she is, and a-typical bookworm in the purest sense of the word…… read on!
I’m a people watcher in the nicest sense of the word, aren’t we all?
From the second I first see this bus stop girl to the second she disappears out of view, with head held high, the graceful stride of a female gazelle, she gazes into an open book held but 10 inches from her face. The young lady never stops reading books, an unusual vision to behold, incredible in all my years I’ve never witnessed the like of her before. Jeeze just think of all those wonderful tales and storylines her mind has gorged on, hmm are they romance and sx? If passion and intimacy is her favoured genre then she must be the horniest of ladies, hmm she looks a horny filthy lady, anyways I’m getting off the point.
Is there a point?
More often than I end up behind the young lady, and unless you travel by bus you’ll not understand that where people position themselves around a bus stop is a science, there’s a lot of social etiquette here. It’s a painfully tedious picture to paint so I won’t!
And yes we do pass the time of day, pleasantries have you will, the weather and other such niceties and all those stories you’ve heard that Brits love talking about the weather, lol absolutely true!
I can’t help feeling in situations like these, if say an older guy tries to be tooo friendly with a slip of a lady how does he come across, over friendly? Trying to pull? Pervy? If he does then that’s all a little sad then again perhaps that’s why I’m single, you have to chat to these unfathomable creatures that confuse me so.
However yuck she does smoke roll your ciggy’s though, a disgusting habit, and apologies if I’ve mentioned this beauty once before but I write as I think with no idea where a post will take me! (Remember all trace of my previous blog got deleted, lol don’t care if you don’t believe me anyway 😛 )
This lady with the blackest of jet black shoulder length hair is not stunningly beautiful to look at then again I’m no frigging oil painting myself, but what she lacks in beauty she makes up for in sweetness and her slender size 8 figure, a definite size 8 body going by our size obsessed media. Absolutely stunning she is, slim, perfectly proportioned and joy of joys she wears tight body hugging leggings, black and stretchy they are revealing EVERY trim contour, and this slip of a goddess has the most perfect leg line you could EVER wish to see, all leading to a pert bottom with plump ass cheeks that resemble an ‘err’ a peach! That most sweet and succulent of soft fruits.
Yes I’ll stand behind her and gaze down at her peachy ass, no doubt to a casual bystander I’ve the look of wonderment written across my face, I’m not odd but the jury’s out, I just adore femininity whatever age or size as long as they’re age appropriate of course. The only trouble is by the time I’m seated (I sit upstairs so I can look down ladies blouses as the get aboard, she sits on the lower deck) and as my ass hits the seat my dick is bucking and twitching inside my boxer shorts.
(Btw if a guy has the opportunity he will ALWAYS take a sideways glance down an unbuttoned blouse or plunging neckline………… we won’t admit but we all do!
And better still she wears a complete absence of visible panty lines, so as I gaze transfixed at her ass crack I cannot help wondering if she wears a thong or no knickers, do good girls ever go commando? Either way such a sensually erotic young lady 😛
I should point out at this conjuncture, with #MeToo firmly in mind I realise yes I’m objectifying the female form here, though I’m of the opinion a guy can observe (and write nonsense such as this) however he must never put his hand inside the sweetie jar.
Look but never ever touch!
Later come summertime when temperatures rise, she’ll be returning to her closet draw for those tight white tee shirts once again, (I’ll chat about her boobs another day lol), then by the time I reach my seat I’ll either pass out or c’max in my boxers! Holy ##ck, gorgeous fit women are getting tooo much for my broken heart, I fear the local News will run a story one morning, where a middle age man was found dead on the bus!
(Btw I’ve a serious far from flippant post themed #MeToo following sooon, it’s in my drafts. Does anyone read my WordPress or is this a platform, a tool to link prose to Twitter and Facebook? Hmm interesting.)