“Thank you SO much” (#grammar)

No boob chat today 😦 (that’s my intention after just this second logging on!)

A serious Posting!

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  How lucky was I surfing the net and discovering this Hospital Doctor

A new phrase has wriggled it’s way into our spoken language, yes you guessed correctly a rather clunky sounding expression of gratitude “thank you SO much” has become common usage over here in the UK.

You’ll guess by the appearance of this posting this new grammatical immigrant rather fascinates me, I say immigrant for good reason because I first noticed this newcomer several years ago coinciding with the the first influx of East European economic migrants to these shores, but no talk of Brexit here my friends. I’d suggest to my ears it’s displaced the English phrase my Grandparents would have used “thank you very much”, a not too dissimilar declaration of gratitude which in turn displaced a phrase you’ll read in a Jane Austin or Emily Bronte novel, “thank you kindly”, pause for a second, can’t you just hear Elizabeth Bennet replying “thank you kindly dear Sir” as Mr. Darcy bows delicately lifting the babe’s outstretched hand to kiss.

I bet you that got Lizzie’s pussy juices flowing!

Anyway where was I?

Now as we all are aware, and often livid about, language usage in day to day conversation metamorphises adapts as the years pass and usually teenagers are to blame with “lolz” and the “like”, a fill-in word thirteen year old girls are addicted to! I’ll listen to their conversations on the bus home and it appears to me “like” has no meaning other than a pause to allow their brains to catch up with breathless conversation. Spoken language changes where ever you reside, and I’m reliably informed we Brits do not talk ‘like’ the characters in a Shakespearian Play…….. I wouldn’t know because I’ve never read Shakespeare but I’ve lusted over Julia Styles in ’10 Things I Hate About You’ and isn’t that another ‘Taming Of The Shrew’ reboot?

I digress.

So why does this one phrase “thank you SO much” with the emphasis on “SO”, fascinate to the point I’ll listen hoping the Romanian coffee lady serving in ‘Taylors’ delicatessen might (severe but lovely girl) reply after she hands me her hot beverage. Incidentally, I’m not annoyed by this recent interloper, hearing it doesn’t bother me or grate my ears, yet inexplicably “thank you SO much” has inhabited my consciousness and YES I’ve found myself using it again with my own emphasised “SO”. This affirmation of gratitude doesn’t roll off the tongue, sounding rather yes clunky in conversation and not Queen’s English and that’s why it fascinates me, and yes I think I can remember the exact place and circumstance I first noticed me using it, again with an emphasis on a rather earnestly spoken “SO”, now I’d suggest any recipient will appreciate the speaker’s gratitude is both heartfelt and not just a cliched platitude.

When you reply “thank you SO much” you really DO mean it and not just as a throw away servility!

So when and where did I first notice myself using this phrase, and why was I so SO grateful? I’ll tell you why, several years ago I suffered a fall at work and long dramatic story cut very short, I was whisked off to our wonderful John Radcliffe Hospital with what turned out was a fractured cheekbone in 4 painful places, however I was conscious and no bones had been depressed into my skull and I was going to be ok thanks for asking! After several hours waiting in a busy Casualty Department, with overworked doctors and nurses rushing here there and everywhere as warning sirens sounded, electronic equipment beeped and trolleys bearing really ill people were wheeled in from reverse parked ambulances……. I’d describe both ambiance and atmosphere as organised chaos.

Come my turn I was shown into a bare white examination room, instructed to take of my shoes and lay upon the bed….. I was a walking wounded brave little soldier, (way tooo many metaphors Andrew). Then minutes later a beautiful young woman wearing blue scrubs, tore open the curtain glided to my side beaming a confident radiant smile, AND I’d guess this angel was working a 14 hour shift! Wonderful men and women all.

Well I remember her as a cheerful chatty soul, I’d guess age 27 slim of an average womanly height with a beautiful face and short cropped blonde hair, a lovely intelligent young woman any mother would sell her soul to have a son marry such a goddess and yes I’m a sucker for a pretty face, I was smitten and SHE with her caring bedside manner did actually seem worried by my injuries probably because head injuries can change to horrifically life threatening very quickly.

For the next 10 minutes or so she gave me a full neurological examination, note with me fully clothed, I had to raise either leg on command as she pressed down upon the limbs, I had push her hands away then grip and pull hers toward me. I had to touch my nose with alternate fingers, watch as she checked my reflexes as she hit my knee with a small rubber hammer……….. yes this angel dressed in powder blue cotton uniform followed a neurological list of checks to test if I had suffered brain damage, I’ll not repeat what my work colleagues would have said.

To finish my initial examination before being shown to an overworked X-ray Department, my beautiful clinician whipped from her top pocket a slim black pencil like object, and with one click of a switch a bright light appeared on one end, with a graceful ‘lunge’ she hunched over me and began to shine her tiny torch into my eyes……………. and omg all I can remember this second is her face so close to mine as she inspected for I guess brain damage, so gifted are our betraying eyes. That close I remember her breath touching my face and yes I gulped, an involuntary emotional reaction triggered by having a beautiful young woman unnervingly close I could have kissed her on the cheek, lol I could’ve would’ve lol of but of course didn’t!

Isn’t there a name given to men who fall in love with nurses?

Oh and I forget to say this boyishly slender young woman displayed NO bust, nope there was zero boobage but for two hardly distinguishable mounds with only ‘bee stings’ for nipples visible as she moved, and hazarding a guess these tired young females, overworked in stifling hot Hospital Wards wear only a bra beneath as underclothes, and why wouldn’t they?

You see I’m emotionally incapable of recollecting a serious true tale without bringing a heroines breasts into my story.

Finally with examination completed and this young doctor no doubt relieved I wasn’t about to suffer a bleed to the brain, note I’m neither trying to be flippant or funny, damaged brain injuries can deteriorate within minutes to the point a patient requires urgent open brain surgery to save their life. With my beautiful clinician now content I wasn’t about to drift into unconsciousness, smiled and made plain her work was finished and now I was to be someone else’s patient, I bid her goodbye and yes I remember me saying a heartfelt “thank you SO much”, with an emphasis on the “SO” because I was genuinely thankful from deep within my heart, she’d never met me before but showed such care 🙂 .

And then she was gone! One of those moments in life when you realise you will never ever see a wonderful human being again, who’d have thought when I woke that morning for another humdrum day of work, that same afternoon I’d experience a beautiful young woman peering into my eyes and so close I could have kissed that soft skinned cheek.

Hospital workers are wonderful caring men and women and our NHS the gift that keeps on giving 🙂 .

A. Shepherdson 2021.

An Angel tapped his shoulder

My Saturday lunch time treat, a fried beef burger with cheese and tomato ketchup all inside a large white ‘bap’….. yum yum.

My Saturday morning treat, a guilty pleasure that’s more than a little unnerving oh and you’ll have guessed I’m not vegan.

Don’t you agree my cheeseburger looks delicious? What’s more it tastes divine, however rather troubling is the sight of pale sticky animal fat cooling in a frying pan afterwards.……. a diet of these furs arteries in the heart often culminating with a heart attack! 

So have you ever stumbled across the saying ‘an Angel tapped me on the shoulder’, if the answer’s no and no don’t google, for those of us reaching a certain age and perhaps experiencing our first major health scare, a tap from an angel’s heavenly hand reminds us of our own impending mortality……. mind you I’ve often thought ‘the Grim Reaper tapped my shoulder’ has a more truthful ring about it, if a little morbid.

Touch wood, still at age54 I’ve experienced no major health scares, no ghostly spirit has come a calling, however I know of a man who unfortunately has and his recent heart attack came as a total shock, he thankfully survived but as you’d imagine he’ll never be the same man again, a new life has begun of changed diet, cutting out red meat and eating more fruit and veg, a daily routine of tablets also regular light exercise, doctor’s checkups, looking after his body, forever with thoughts of ‘my heart is damaged’ and that’s enough about my friend.

He’s thankfully ok, shaken but ok, and a retiree I used to work with had stents fitted 20 years ago and he reached the grand old age of 83. Living in the modern technological age gifts us amazing medical treatments that allow us to lead a healthy usable useful life.🙄 Live each day as if it’s your last. 

Hmm so what of me? I walk up three flights of stairs at work and I’m slightly out of breath, a little worrying but I don’t drive a car therefore walk EVERYWHERE, but still perhaps I should be cutting out animal fat from my diet, perhaps the time’s come to stop eating homemade cheeseburgers? 

Perhaps eat more of these?

..……… God’s honest truth I’m feeling pains in my chest!

 

A. Shepherdson 2020

Swallowing, all you ever wished to know AND so much more!

‘Now before you get all hot under the collar branding my post ‘icky’ and distasteful, just keep in mind EACH AND EVERYONE OF US was born of our father’s semen!………… Oh and I’ll be away for the foreseeable 🙂 ‘ 

(Talking of good taste, here are two cute puppies before I begin.) 

Tonight, the best Dental advice I’ve EVER received

Non Fiction
I have just returned from seeing my dentist and I’m feeling elated, on cloud nine my brain experiencing a legal chemical induced high and I know why. Anxiety consumed my mind as I pushed through the door into Mr Coull’s dental surgery, if that’s correct phrase, he does the examination cleans what little staining there is on the teeth with a jet of high pressure water, gives them a polish then says ,

“They look fine Andrew”, sporting his friendly smile such a charming man, soon followed with,

“I’ll see you in nine months, take care”.

And minutes later I leave his Practice yes feeling near ecstatic. You’ll all understand why visiting a dentist is so damn worrisome, first any work that has to be done is frigging expensive some people can cancel their annual holiday because a bill can be so expensive, secondly any work done is frigging painful, and lastly this is probably just the beginning of treatment because your teeth are on a downward spiral with dentures on the horizon………… yes I’m near orgasmic.

Examination over I walk straight for the supermarket with adrenalin and dopamine altering my mind and how I view the world, so strange it HAS TO be related to a body’s pleasure giving chemicals? Why else can you one minute be feeling utter sh#t then ten minutes later acting like your veins have taken a syringe of heroin? (Hypothetically speaking)

Anyways that’s not the only reason for tonight’s impromptu post. I had been extra worried today because several weeks ago my father, the one suffering memory problems, had Mr Coull extract umpteen teeth and he had a full mouthful!.

So let’s rewind my tale to first sitting in Hamish’s examination reclining chair, now comfortable I asked him,

“You’re my father’s dentist, several weeks ago you took 10 teeth out, does that mean bad teeth are hereditary and the same will happen to me?”

(Forgot to say I bumped into my Mum in the waiting room she’s broken a tooth! £256 for a crown, forgot to ask her how).

Back to my anxious question,

“Are bad teeth hereditary?”

“No Andrew, I cannot say to much because of patient confidentiality, but your father’s problem stems from drinking tea and coffee laced with sugar”.

I knew this of course in fact I’ve known he drank near hot syrup for the last 40 years”

Hamish Coull continued, “The reason is sugary drinks, however sugar isn’t the problem, let me explain, hypothetically if you ate a whole packet of biscuits straight off your mouth would soon recover as saliva neutralises plaque acid and you’d be back to normal.”

Hmm never heard that one before and he’s my dentist I thought to myself, fascinating insight.

He went further and I’m riveted.

“Regarding sugary hot drinks, the problems begin because it takes about half an hour to drink a cup of coffee, you take a mouthful, your mouth is acid filled for a few minutes and just as saliva is about to kick in, do it’s job, you take another sugary mouthful and as a consequence over that half hour your mouth has been filled with sugar and plaque acid for the whole time”.

“That’s why such a person would have ten decayed teeth taken out in one go!”

And there’s MORE bad news!

“I see the problem starting in young children because they’ll buy a tin of coke and then sip. Sip. Sip, and for ten minutes their teeth never recover from a prolonged acid attack!”

(That’s Sugar Free Coke for me from now on!)

Well all I can say is I wanted to share Mr Coull’s advice to my Readers, because tonight is the very first time I’ve heard the basic reason for tooth decay described in one short brilliant analogy by an expert (who my mum has a crush on!) Seems you can eat a whole packet of biscuits and be fine, but sip sugary drinks for half an hour and all your teeth will rot and be expensively painfully extracted.

© A. Shepherdson 2018