Swallowing, all you ever wished to know AND so much more!

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‘Now before you get all hot under the collar branding my post ‘icky’ and distasteful, just keep in mind EACH AND EVERYONE OF US was born of our father’s semen!………… Oh and I’ll be away for the foreseeable 🙂 ‘ 

(Talking of good taste, here are two cute puppies before I begin.) 

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Memory problems…… what memory problems?

‘While mild forgetfulness can be a normal part of aging, it can also be a sign of more serious memory problems, such as amnestic mild cognitive impairment, dementia, or even Alzheimer’s disease.’ 

(U.S. Department of Health & Human Services.)

In all seriousness I sometimes worry if I’m losing my mind’s awareness of what’s going on around me, the conscious powers of my brain are starting to ‘tail-off?’, or can my forgetfulness be just another consequence of getting old………………. like one’s pubic ‘bush’ thinning out, so you’ve noticed to!!

Forgetfulness

I’m age 50! I’ll walk into a room knowing that I’m supposed to be looking for something but for the life of me I cannot remember what I was looking for, it happens all the time! A humorous line often said by many an aging adult, HOWEVER very true if more than a little worrying!

Last night before bedtime I walked into the bathroom and instantly saw an empty toothpaste tube on the shelf above the sink, it was empty that same morning when I told myself “I must buy a replacement”………… I didn’t, the consequence last night I had to cut the tube’s nozzle off and scrape out enough paste to brush my teeth, well at least I’m saving money and doing my bit to prolong the planet!

In all seriousness my moments of forgetfulness does sharpen the mind, more than a little disconcerting, my father now suffers from severe memory loss and I’ve written about caring for elderly parents before! We as a family first noticed his forgetfulness and blossoming deterioration about three years ago, it’s only in hindsight that you can pinpoint the beginnings of dementia and how bad it’s become, the process creeps up on you. First there’s the absent minded forgetfulness then several years later he stopped all engaging conversation, it’s heart-breaking to witness especially when I remember he was a University educated schoolteacher………………. dementia has zero regard for a human being’s intelligence.

Here and now doing a quick bit of mental arithmetic I have about 24years to reach the age at which dad began to fail, jeez an awful lot of life can happen in 24years and who knows I may not make it? As a consequence I’m not obsessed with panicked worry assuming Alzheimer’s is about to strike (and for once I’m NOT trying to be funny), HOWEVER I’m curious at what point does a person first realise his mind’s about to slip into dementia? Why don’t we hear mental health experts telling us how to diagnose the first signs of forgetfulness, a cruel wheeze dreamt up by God that will soon rob you of all thinking reasoning and knowledge of the world and people around you? Answer medics either cannot or don’t choose to, perhaps knowing beforehand is all to scary and I’ve heard said human beings brains are just not powerful enough to cope with modern day living, hence that’s WHY we forget! The reason for forgetfulness in an aging species?

I’m going to have ‘Has anyone seen my keys?’ Engraved upon my headstone.

Or on reflection maybe I haven’t done the relevant research then again perhaps it’s best not to know, one of the biggest mistakes in life you can make is Googling a medical symptom (we’ve all done it) BECAUSE the engine’s answers will be many varied and wrong.

So I guess I’ll carry on bathing in the shower trying to remember if I’d taken that herbal mint infused bag out of my tea mug? Btw this happened 25 minutes ago 😦 .

©A. Shepherdson 2018

Tonight, the best Dental advice I’ve EVER received

Non Fiction
11050289_536944569779158_2711964102297107114_nI have just returned from seeing my dentist and I’m feeling elated, on cloud nine my brain experiencing a legal chemical induced high and I know why. Anxiety consumed my mind as I pushed through the door into Mr Coull’s dental surgery, if that’s correct phrase, he does the examination cleans what little staining there is on the teeth with a jet of high pressure water, gives them a polish then says ,

“They look fine Andrew”, sporting his friendly smile such a charming man, soon followed with,

“I’ll see you in nine months, take care”.

And minutes later I leave his Practice yes feeling near ecstatic. You’ll all understand why visiting a dentist is so damn worrisome, first any work that has to be done is frigging expensive some people can cancel their annual holiday because a bill can be so expensive, secondly any work done is frigging painful, and lastly this is probably just the beginning of treatment because your teeth are on a downward spiral with dentures on the horizon………… yes I’m near orgasmic.

Examination over I walk straight for the supermarket with adrenalin and dopamine altering my mind and how I view the world, so strange it HAS TO be related to a body’s pleasure giving chemicals? Why else can you one minute be feeling utter sh#t then ten minutes later acting like your veins have taken a syringe of heroin? (Hypothetically speaking)

Anyways that’s not the only reason for tonight’s impromptu post. I had been extra worried today because several weeks ago my father, the one suffering memory problems, had Mr Coull extract umpteen teeth and he had a full mouthful!.

So let’s rewind my tale to first sitting in Hamish’s examination reclining chair, now comfortable I asked him,

“You’re my father’s dentist, several weeks ago you took 10 teeth out, does that mean bad teeth are hereditary and the same will happen to me?”

(Forgot to say I bumped into my Mum in the waiting room she’s broken a tooth! £256 for a crown, forgot to ask her how).

Back to my anxious question,

“Are bad teeth hereditary?”

“No Andrew, I cannot say to much because of patient confidentiality, but your father’s problem stems from drinking tea and coffee laced with sugar”.

I knew this of course in fact I’ve known he drank near hot syrup for the last 40 years”

Hamish Coull continued, “The reason is sugary drinks, however sugar isn’t the problem, let me explain, hypothetically if you ate a whole packet of biscuits straight off your mouth would soon recover as saliva neutralises plaque acid and you’d be back to normal.”

Hmm never heard that one before and he’s my dentist I thought to myself, fascinating insight.

He went further and I’m riveted.

“Regarding sugary hot drinks, the problems begin because it takes about half an hour to drink a cup of coffee, you take a mouthful, your mouth is acid filled for a few minutes and just as saliva is about to kick in, do it’s job, you take another sugary mouthful and as a consequence over that half hour your mouth has been filled with sugar and plaque acid for the whole time”.

“That’s why such a person would have ten decayed teeth taken out in one go!”

And there’s MORE bad news!

“I see the problem starting in young children because they’ll buy a tin of coke and then sip. Sip. Sip, and for ten minutes their teeth never recover from a prolonged acid attack!”

(That’s Sugar Free Coke for me from now on!)

Well all I can say is I wanted to share Mr Coull’s advice to my Readers, because tonight is the very first time I’ve heard the basic reason for tooth decay described in one short brilliant analogy by an expert (who my mum has a crush on!) Seems you can eat a whole packet of biscuits and be fine, but sip sugary drinks for half an hour and all your teeth will rot and be expensively painfully extracted.

© A. Shepherdson 2018