“Thank you SO much” (#grammar)

No boob chat today 😦 (that’s my intention after just this second logging on!)

A serious Posting!

A new phrase has wriggled it’s way into our spoken language, yes you guessed correctly a rather clunky sounding expression of gratitude “thank you SO much” has become common usage over here in the UK.

You’ll guess by the appearance of this posting this new grammatical immigrant rather fascinates me, I say immigrant for good reason because I first noticed this newcomer several years ago coinciding with the the first influx of East European economic migrants to these shores, but no talk of Brexit here my friends. I’d suggest to my ears it’s displaced the English phrase my Grandparents would have used “thank you very much”, a not too dissimilar declaration of gratitude which in turn displaced a phrase you’ll read in a Jane Austin or Emily Bronte novel, “thank you kindly”, pause for a second, can’t you just hear Elizabeth Bennet replying “thank you kindly dear Sir” as Mr. Darcy bows delicately lifting the babe’s outstretched hand to kiss.

I bet you that got Lizzie’s pussy juices flowing!

Anyway where was I?

Now as we all are aware, and often livid about, language usage in day to day conversation metamorphises adapts as the years pass and usually teenagers are to blame with “lolz” and the “like”, a fill-in word thirteen year old girls are addicted to! I’ll listen to their conversations on the bus home and it appears to me “like” has no meaning other than a pause to allow their brains to catch up with breathless conversation. Spoken language changes where ever you reside, and I’m reliably informed we Brits do not talk ‘like’ the characters in a Shakespearian Play…….. I wouldn’t know because I’ve never read Shakespeare but I’ve lusted over Julia Styles in ’10 Things I Hate About You’ and isn’t that another ‘Taming Of The Shrew’ reboot?

I digress.

So why does this one phrase “thank you SO much” with the emphasis on “SO”, fascinate to the point I’ll listen hoping the Romanian coffee lady serving in ‘Taylors’ delicatessen might (severe but lovely girl) reply after she hands me her hot beverage. Incidentally, I’m not annoyed by this recent interloper, hearing it doesn’t bother me or grate my ears, yet inexplicably “thank you SO much” has inhabited my consciousness and YES I’ve found myself using it again with my own emphasised “SO”. This affirmation of gratitude doesn’t roll off the tongue, sounding rather yes clunky in conversation and not Queen’s English and that’s why it fascinates me, and yes I think I can remember the exact place and circumstance I first noticed me using it, again with an emphasis on a rather earnestly spoken “SO”, now I’d suggest any recipient will appreciate the speaker’s gratitude is both heartfelt and not just a cliched platitude.

When you reply “thank you SO much” you really DO mean it and not just as a throw away servility!

So when and where did I first notice myself using this phrase, and why was I so SO grateful? I’ll tell you why, several years ago I suffered a fall at work and long dramatic story cut very short, I was whisked off to our wonderful John Radcliffe Hospital with what turned out was a fractured cheekbone in 4 painful places, however I was conscious and no bones had been depressed into my skull and I was going to be ok thanks for asking! After several hours waiting in a busy Casualty Department, with overworked doctors and nurses rushing here there and everywhere as warning sirens sounded, electronic equipment beeped and trolleys bearing really ill people were wheeled in from reverse parked ambulances……. I’d describe both ambiance and atmosphere as organised chaos.

Come my turn I was shown into a bare white examination room, instructed to take of my shoes and lay upon the bed….. I was a walking wounded brave little soldier, (way tooo many metaphors Andrew). Then minutes later a beautiful young woman wearing blue scrubs, tore open the curtain glided to my side beaming a confident radiant smile, AND I’d guess this angel was working a 14 hour shift! Wonderful men and women all.

Well I remember her as a cheerful chatty soul, I’d guess age 27 slim of an average womanly height with a beautiful face and short cropped blonde hair, a lovely intelligent young woman any mother would sell her soul to have a son marry such a goddess and yes I’m a sucker for a pretty face, I was smitten and SHE with her caring bedside manner did actually seem worried by my injuries probably because head injuries can change to horrifically life threatening very quickly.

For the next 10 minutes or so she gave me a full neurological examination, note with me fully clothed, I had to raise either leg on command as she pressed down upon the limbs, I had push her hands away then grip and pull hers toward me. I had to touch my nose with alternate fingers, watch as she checked my reflexes as she hit my knee with a small rubber hammer……….. yes this angel dressed in powder blue cotton uniform followed a neurological list of checks to test if I had suffered brain damage, I’ll not repeat what my work colleagues would have said.

To finish my initial examination before being shown to an overworked X-ray Department, my beautiful clinician whipped from her top pocket a slim black pencil like object, and with one click of a switch a bright light appeared on one end, with a graceful ‘lunge’ she hunched over me and began to shine her tiny torch into my eyes……………. and omg all I can remember this second is her face so close to mine as she inspected for I guess brain damage, so gifted are our betraying eyes. That close I remember her breath touching my face and yes I gulped, an involuntary emotional reaction triggered by having a beautiful young woman unnervingly close I could have kissed her on the cheek, lol I could’ve would’ve lol of but of course didn’t!

Isn’t there a name given to men who fall in love with nurses?

Oh and I forget to say this boyishly slender young woman displayed NO bust, nope there was zero boobage but for two hardly distinguishable mounds with only ‘bee stings’ for nipples visible as she moved, and hazarding a guess these tired young females, overworked in stifling hot Hospital Wards wear only a bra beneath as underclothes, and why wouldn’t they?

You see I’m emotionally incapable of recollecting a serious true tale without bringing a heroines breasts into my story.

Finally with examination completed and this young doctor no doubt relieved I wasn’t about to suffer a bleed to the brain, note I’m neither trying to be flippant or funny, damaged brain injuries can deteriorate within minutes to the point a patient requires urgent open brain surgery to save their life. With my beautiful clinician now content I wasn’t about to drift into unconsciousness, smiled and made plain her work was finished and now I was to be someone else’s patient, I bid her goodbye and yes I remember me saying a heartfelt “thank you SO much”, with an emphasis on the “SO” because I was genuinely thankful from deep within my heart, she’d never met me before but showed such care 🙂 .

And then she was gone! One of those moments in life when you realise you will never ever see a wonderful human being again, who’d have thought when I woke that morning for another humdrum day of work, that same afternoon I’d experience a beautiful young woman peering into my eyes and so close I could have kissed that soft skinned cheek.

Hospital workers are wonderful caring men and women and our NHS the gift that keeps on giving 🙂 .

A. Shepherdson 2021.

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