‘Robbie’ the Robot

This post is MY response to the challenge, Three Line Tales, Week 129

Tin Man - Three Line Tales

(Robbie Robot) “Mistress would you like me to run your hot bath now?”

(Mistress) “Yes ‘Robbie’, I’ll have the strawberry and mango bubble bath, a glass of white wine, tell Alexa to play happy mood tunes and don’t forget my electronic dildo!”

(Robbie) And mistress can I watch, dildo’s motor reminds me of the day I was first assembled.”

By A. Shepherdson 2018 (photo ©Alex Knight)

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Ray’s Detective writing challenge!

Ray this Detective challenge of yours captured my imagination, my very first picture prompt actually and fascinating to me because three quarters in, without a care in the world I wrote myself into a literary dead end! If truth be told I very nearly deleted but persevered and came up with an ending which I think works but for the reader to decide. Hmm that possibly gives away my style, an idea, write, and see where a tale takes me?

I enjoyed writing Sally’s cheating husband lol in fact I got a little carried away, but it was fun and passed a few happy hours 🙂 , hope you enjoy and thank you. 🙂 ❤

Ray’s Rules:
You are a private investigator. You have worked for Mrs Sally Canetti during the last 3 months – chasing her cheating husband. Write a short note to her (on the following photo).

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Ray’s picture prompt

I am the Private Investigator

I have worked for Mrs Sally Canetti during the last 3 months chasing her cheating husband

Below is my short(ish) note, posted in an envelope to Sally Canetti with photo

The cheating artist in the photo = Mr Canetti

The artist’s nude model = Scarlet Dufrain

Dear Mrs Canetti,

I trust you’ve been keeping well since we last met, would you believe three months have passed, time flies, and I fear this will be reflected in my increased fee (attached receipt), the train tickets swallowed most of your retainer and London bed and breakfast consumed what little was left!

London I hear you say? Yes your husband visit’s London at the weekends and no doesn’t go fishing with his brother, then again you guessed correct the brother is a lying asshole, so beware the girly chats you have with his wife at the salon, a tissue of lies! Because now for certain I know he IS cheating as you suspected, hopefully my evidence will bring closure and off the record possibilities of great wealth……….. please remember that when you appraise my inflated fee.

Now you’ve recovered from reading the much inflated fee I’m afraid there’s good and bad news, your husband is mistrustful consequently takes great care with fidelities. For six weekends I followed Mr Canetti to London Paddington observing him from a carriage behind, and on each time pulling into the platform we’d alight then I’d lose sight as he hurriedly disappeared from view melting into the crowds. However all’s not lost, every Friday evening I’d follow his journey that little bit farther, that first Friday I lost him at the entrance to Paddington Underground………. very disappointing, all was not lost though, the following Friday I waited at said entrance and would follow him approximately 5 minutes more. Your husband is a clever man Sally, first I lost him after he alighted at Belize Park Station, the bastard waited till seconds before the door shut, jumped out passing him as he walked up the platform as I sped into the tunnel, you’ll guess I lost him.

Well not to worry, I surmised correctly our errant husband follows the same route and to the exact same timetable of trains, so having a hunch I took an earlier train than he to London, travelled the Underground to Belsize, sat in the waiting room with a coffee (note all costs are receipted) as the very same train motioned to pull out the station your husband jumped out and briskly strode through the exit with me in tow. I might add sporting a very self satisfied smug grin but it takes a clever man to hoodwink old ‘Sniffer Dobbins!’ Keeping your husband in view, sniffer by name sniffer nature, I followed close behind and on exiting the Station we took the short walk to Belsize Park (yes it really is a Park) and would you believe it I got lucky at last, because sited alongside the Park sat a row of black taxis, then quick as a flash your husband near leaped from pavement into a cab, so with great haste I might add, I jumped into the cab behind has he sped of into the distance me shouting to the driver,

“My man FOLLOW THAT BLACK CAB!”

And Sally what a splendid driver Abdallah was, with a great haste, as safely he could muster, my Pakistani friend followed your husband across busy London, driving up side streets, swerving around pedestrians, a quick left turn, down a one way street THE wrong way perhaps with a fast corner right, which got me thinking your stickler for timing husband and careful subversive behaviour takes the very same taxi every weekend.

I was proved correct!

We followed, or I should say Abdallah drove as fast he dare trying to keep up, I fed him a lie I was Military Intelligence (MI5) following a suspected carrier of Novochek nerve agent heading for Salisbury, a trick of our Trade is gaining friends, it excites people such as Abdallah to get involved.

Your husband’s car slowed down on driving through a quiet street off Piccadilly Circus, Abdalla followed slowly from behind and we two observed the taxi door open, your husband step out and pay his fare, nervously glance up and down said Street, climb several steps and enters a terraced flat. Though be aware Sally! Mr Canetti didn’t knock and wait for someone to open and let him in, no he took keys from HIS coat pocket, glanced up the Street again and disappeared inside.

Receipts for Taxi fares you’ll find in the envelope!

Here at ‘Findum & Catchum’ Private Investigators, our primary work is following wayward spouses, and experience tells old ‘sniffer’ Dobbins letting yourself into a flat only means one thing, and as I suspected your husband owns said Flat because later that afternoon I paid a special visit to Council records, and yes I guessed correct it’s there in black and white, your husband is sitting tenant for his Flat if by a different name, rather clever actually…… Mrs Canetti on full payment of our Bill I will provide you his address and photographs, yes I’d guess the photo of your husband painting a naked model hanging from a wall has been troubling your mind?

Three months passed while tracking your husband’s secretive clandestine fun and games, but there’s more, with every London Visit to his Flat off Piccadilly Circus, ten minutes to the second after your husband entered his flat, a pretty young lady with flowing long blonde hair would knock the door and Mr Canetti would let her in!

Scarlet Dufrain is her name!

So Sally here my tale arrives at weekend last. Friday I’d taken the precaution to rent a room directly to the rear of his flat, a ‘sniffer’ Dobbins hunch, and yes luck was with me, looking through my trusty camera’s Telephoto lens I would gaze into Mr Canetti ‘s living room with skylight, and another lucky break, your husband and Miss Scarlett Dufrain entered. Yes a Miss Scarlet, do you know her Sally? Well I didn’t and on further enquiries she works for a High Class Escort Agency and is not an artist model, Scarlet by name Scarlet by nature!

So what did they do together, I’d guess that’s troubling you now, well Friday evening he painted Scarlet in various naked poses, still life’s I think they’re known as! No she’s not a model Sally, I regret to inform you Miss Dufrain is an escort, a hooker, a rather pricey seller of sex!

I’d guess he pays her hourly fee with the money he receives from renting his flat out Sunday to Thursday……………. answer’s your question how did he pay for that new Mercedes, so you’ll be comforted to know he’s not returned to armed robbery and holding up Post Offices again! Be happy in yourself after all divorce settlements are made no creditors will appear from the woodwork, my suggested solicitors ‘Simon & Tedesco’ should see you right.

So back I come to 4pm Friday afternoon, there I was peering into Mr Canetti’s living room, the afternoon my enclosed evidence was taken and on payment you will receive photos ALL……… AND now’s the time I have to share the gory details of what your cheating husband got up to each weekend.

Very strange goings on Sally the like I’ve never seen in all my hours of hunting cheating spouses, Miss Scarlet walked into the room first, disrobed to naked, then my third ‘stroke’ of luck for you, she didn’t close the curtains! Scarlet wandered around the living room nude, perhaps looked in a mirror, admired her trim figure, plumped her golden locks then near jumped out of her skin when Mr Canetti walked in dressed as, brace yourself!..………… Dressed as Pablo Picasso so he was, all to paint his ‘Pretty Woman’s’ image in oils, the photos will look great in Court! 

But there was a twist Friday last, Scarlet moved her posing chair to below the skylight, Mr Canetti bound rope around her arms, attaching her to the wall though note with her intimacy hidden, then returning to his easel, with his back to me, I watched him paint Miss Scarlet’s image………. the image of her at the Bow of a ship!

After he’d finished painting Miss Dufrain she was unattached from the wall, and there’s more, the expansive brush stokes whipped him into a frenzy so they did, the final act from this artistic drama being he’d rip off every stitch of his clothing, near throw Miss Scarlet to the floor and there they’d lay on top a threadbare deep green carpet making mad passionate love!

I have ALL the photos taken across five afternoon and they’ll be provided when said Bill is settled in full, and I’d like to think you’d pay ‘Findum & Catchum’ Investigator’s a nice healthy bonus, with my diligent private investigation I’ve recorded many explicit images, enough evidence for ‘Simon & Tedesco’ to take him for every penny he has………. there’s even a London Flat for you Sally, and speaking as your friend, I trust you’ve found my rather long winded tale interesting reading, yes rather long but very thorough.

THAT’S the good news of which I speak now for the BAD.

I have the gravest of news for you Mrs Canetti, awful information that I’ve never had to share with a patron before! Usually an errant spouse will take the greatest of care with protection, but alas each time I watched your husband make love to naked Scarlet on that dark Green carpet, Sally I can hardly bring myself to share with you but I must! The gravest of News is…….. Mr Canetti never once wore condoms! No I’m afraid not a single time and oh boy I saw a great deal of lovemaking. 

Where was I? Condoms! No I fear your husband did not use any. Intimate relations between husband and wife are not the business of ‘Findum & Catchum’ Investigators but as your friend of many many years I don’t really need to spell out do I Miss Scarlet Dufrain is an escort, a hooker an expensive prostitute, she engages in unprotected sex with many a client…………… well Sally I need write no further………….. except go get yourself tested!

Kind regards, ‘Sniffer’ Dobbins of ‘Findum & Catchum Private Investigation Agency’.

 

Original picture prompted tale BY A. Shepherdson 2018

I pulled a muscle in my back! (Response Post)

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I had a slight accident and Claudette’s post aches pains and injuries: welcome to your 40s and 50s came to mind, so I thought why not write a response post they’re always great fun and I like her blog.

..…………… and yes pulling muscles when you’re 50 is far from!

I had lived until the age of 50 having never broken a bone in my body, quite an amazing fact actually because most people I know have broken at least 1 bone in their lifetime, my sibling has broken no end playing various contact sports so I’d guess serious injury and pain is part of the fun? HOWEVER note cracks and the like are certainly nothing to be envied or hoped for!

Then last year I stumbled whilst walking through the centre of Town, hit my head on the pavement and fractured my cheekbone in 4 frigging places, that meant a lot of fuss an ambulance ride to Hospital, time off work, x-rays and countless Follow up visits, so please no more bone breaks ‘I’ve seen it done it and bought the tee-shirt!’

I HAVEN’T (finger’s crossed, touch wood, hope I’m not tempting fate) broken another bone and hope I never do but in life you just never know what’s around the corner, in fact we live our lives oblivious to what-ifs simply because we’d send ourselves insane trying to imagine every worst scenario possible.

A quick tale for you, last week I was in my kitchen preparing a salad for tea, washing lettuce, chopping tomatoes, grilling a jacket potato, constantly going back and forth to the fridge for cheese grapes radishes dip and an egg for boiling, I love eggs! Yes after boiling my egg and 10 mins later peeling the shell off I placed the steaming object on the kitchen work top, walked away, turned to see it rolling off the chopping board, lunged to try and catch it before hitting the floor and pulled a muscle in my back AND the boiled egg hit the floor!

Lol the pain was crippling, I could hardly get out of bed the next morning but I’m feeling much better now thanks for asking 😀 . 

On reflection I think Claudette’s posts hinted at the answer to aging and the body’s susceptibility to picking up aches and pains, I have a feeling the answer is no more complicated than applying gentle stretches to muscles groups but without the use of weights!………………… That knowledge comes from years of reading women’s magazines.

 

So my advice is take care of yourselves (and loved ones), and beware rolling hard boiled eggs. 

A. Shepherdson 2018.

The Stalking challenge (for blogger Ray)

This WordPress ‘Blogging Thoughts Photos & Life’ has been tagged awarded challenged several times by lovely bloggers, I always accept the challenge but don’t quite play by the game’s rules (lol just call me awkward 😀 ) then again I doubt anyone minds..………… HOWEVER the challenge always gives me a themed idea for a Post………… (btw note this one’s mild age appropriate adult).

Oh and stalking is a hot story in the UK at present several female TV personalities have Court injunctions placed on creepy men who have been following annoying harassing them, though they can do very little apart from hope these pests quit their nastiness bullying and psychological torture.

Ray challenged me a stalking tale so here goes, was I wrong to follow the lady wearing a short mini dress into the Department Store? I know you said 13 sentences but I’m afraid I write as I think hence 1600 words never mind thanks ❤ for the Challenge! 🙂

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Yes I hoped but what did I see? 😀

Let me explain, one summer’s day a good while ago and being as I was at a loose end, I’d decided to travel into ‘blank’ by bus for no other reason than I needed to buy clothes and I’d been putting it off because I hate clothes shopping! So having boarded and now seated comfortably I glanced around the top deck wondering who I’d be travelling with today, and who do I see but a lovely a young woman across the aisle wearing a horizontally striped white and powder blue dress. Such a beautiful picture this slim demure creature perched on the end of her seat, blonde hair pulled back into a cute girly pony tale and she had a pretty face in side-on profile. (Note age appropriate!)

But hold on her gorgeousness didn’t end there and I can tell you this made my growing hardness tingle and twitch warm waves of pleasure spreading around my groin, oh yes I could see the hem of her dress rested well up her thigh, well being more truthful not that far below her knicker gusset though sat a seat behind I’d 😦 never see, yum quite the vision of femininity and sexiness though, good luck to her you’re only ever young once so flaunt it babe!

The only problem is bus travel is SO frigging boring consequently my mind wanders and imagination overpowers all (well nearly) thoughts of appropriate behaviour, idle day dreaming when excited can lead you places you shouldn’t go?

Well I mused she’s on her own and single, obviously travelling into Oxford to look at fashions buy clothes and a day of retail therapy………… and how do I know this? I don’t but by the way she kept opening a well known Department Store carrier bag and removing garments, carefully unfolding and examining, then even MORE carefully folding away again I could see they were still tagged brand new!

And me being the intelligent guy and people watcher that I am, her concentration and thoughtful expression told me these garments were returning to the Store! Hmm I’d guess to be refunded, well it lol happens and why else take tagged clothes INTO a store? Ladies do it all the time, buy a bra take it home try on and omg that bright purple is visible through your favourite virgin white cotton blouse……. and you think ‘damn it’s going back!’

I watched the young lady go through this careful ritual several times, she was neither sure or happy as women often aren’t when choosing clothes, and of course I’m furtively gazing at her milky white thigh and exquisite leg line, lovely long legs gave away she was a tall lady which is important to my tale THEN watching her indecisive mind in action a vision flashed across my visual imagination like a white hot bolt of lightening! ‘Omg’ I thought to myself, ‘when you enter that Store miss, the near auditorium vast space welcomes you with three long escalators……. one coming down two rising upwards deep into this vast retail cathedral!

Have you guessed this tale has potential stalker written all over? 

I squirmed and wriggled in my seat becoming increasingly excited, warm blood began to turn my cheeks red, adrenalin increasing my heart rate the faster pumping blood engorging my dick my hardness uncomfortably and beginning to throb! The bus now turning into George Street I thought ‘Holy s#it, the second stop is a minute from the Store I bet this young lady will alight here and make straight for the escalators!’

Fast pumping torrents of blood now beginning to make my head hurt and heart race, I thought ‘this tall gazelle like creature will travel the escalator’, …… further she’s wearing a micro dress and I’LL finally discover the answer to a thought that’s consumed my mind ever since first seeing her milky white skinned thighs, ‘Follow her, then you’ll see what colour panties she’s wearing!’

‘Hold on’ I thought to myself, ‘there’s CCTV, she may look around, there’d be a scene, I’d be arrested!’ But sometimes in life you have to take a risk, opportunities like this don’t come along twice, and rather than pausing to take breath and noting following women is illegal, before you know it a sexual desire overpowers sound moral judgement and you’re err being inappropriate!

The bus jolts to a halt waking me from a whether to or not to conundrum, the gorgeous young lady rises from her seat as I instinctively near jump from mine, speedily so as to stop any other postential stalkers from stepping between me and my prey…….. well hold on prey’s the wrong word lol I’m only following her for frigging sake! What happens as consequence is mere coincidence 😀 .

She steps off the bus and turns right, I quickly follow but three paces behind watching her blonde pony tale swing and bounce with every stride her long legs could muster, her soft cotton dress flutter in the breeze a young woman on a mission she was, no doubt one retail thought on her mind oblivious to the stalker closely behind.

Thirty seconds later she turns left, electric doors opening a vacuum near sucking us in from the Street, four paces later she steps onto the travelling stairway, then four steps again I follow her tall slim body rising upward from my eyeline, my gaze being drawn down her body as first her blonde pony was lost from view, soon followed by her exquisite narrow neckline with the word Rebecca tattooed across in bold thin blue text!

(Hmm very strange, either she’s a lesbian or stupid enough she can’t remember her name?)

My heart now pumping so fast I feared my head would explode the additional blood engorging my hardness to such a size as I’d seldom felt before, with my eyeline now rested on her pert bottom having passed the profile of bra straps and tiny waist, and because our slow moving stairway to heaven was set at such a steep incline her micro dress hem came into full view (briefly because virtually none existed) with my eyes now following an exquisite sexy leg line of fit shapely thighs and tone calves until I to was standing as still as you possibly can with someone on a travelling escalator and could see no lower.

Nervously my gaze began to follow her leg line upward this time, noticing her feet standing 10″ apart a carrier bag with clothes resting one her left thigh just within the periphery of my vision, my eyes final reach her stripy dress and with one final upwards glance the answer to the one thought obsessing my imagination ALL morning came into view!

Holy f#ck blonde leggy pretty ponytail wasn’t wearing underwear!

That was a shock and a half I can tell you, I’d been consumed with questions of what colour panties? Would they be French knickers, briefs, thong or yuck ‘shorties’ or even boyfriends boxer shorts now there’s a worry! But no doubt looking gobsmacked and stunned what do I see between slightly parted milky white thighs but the heavenly vision of the entry to a female’s reproductive system, her vulva and intimacy a shade of delicate shocking pink set against the visible white skin we stalkers and public only ever see.

With time running out, my eyes savoured every last contour of her vagina bridge the windows to my soul could save to memory, two plump folds of outer labia concealing a cave of gold jewels and pleasures within, and no I didn’t notice any beads of moisture secreted through her slit, no she wasn’t wet which must be a worry when you ladies leave home absent of underwear! What do you do if you get excited and ‘moisten’ when a shirtless stunning builder captures your view? Hmm now there’s a thought Ray!

But oh no, her thighs became darker as my eyes refocused to a contrast caused by blinding white light emanating from the Cosmetic’s floor level and now all tooo quickly coming into view. With one final gaze at this pretty lady’s most secret body part, me leaning slightly forward, taking an even larger risk and momentarily bending my knees permitted me to see the beginning to two pert round firm buttocks and an ass crack disappearing beneath stripy soft cotton fabric.

Then with one final final concentrated gaze recording this erotic heavenly image to my visible memory for all eternity, with one final gaze this age 18+ young lady stepped from the escalator no doubt making for ‘refunds and exchanges’, and yes seemingly oblivious to this opportunist stalker behind………… never knowing one other person know she’s daring enough to go without.

Feeling rather weak at the knees I to stepped from that slowly moving stairway though very quickly walking in a totally different direction, in truth heading for an exit which would take me away from this Store as quickly as possible! …………. But omg I grinned to myself, never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined she’d be wearing no panties AND better still her pussy was either shaved or waxed of all hair………… lol well who’d have guessed.

A. Shepherdson 2018

(Now accept this tale anyway you wish, parts could be true, hell the whole story could be true as written, OR my sexy escapade could be dreamt from an over active imagination…………. lol you decide for I’m afraid you’ll never ever know!)

Response to raynotbradbury

😮 Lol I know for the last several days I’ve promised to publish a fun Sex Pistol (1970’s band) Muppet song grammatical post, but I found myself distracted (a big problem with me) and written an off the cuff response instead! So stay tuned.

Not to worry though, here are my thoughts on plagiarism…………. the theft of ideas.

I both love and enjoy giving my own response to a post written by another Blogger either sharing an opinion, answering their tag questions though I never Award, link or tag others because I’d hate to put them on a spot and take liberties. Because whatever your opinion of Awards (answers to personal questions) they are a great way of getting to know people better and perhaps the worst word you could attribute to a great post idea is ‘Award’…………. Awards are given as prizes for talented high achievers then again participants are playing a game so what do I know?

My response to raynotbradbury’s post ‘M is for Magic W is written’ comes in 2 parts though I’m afraid I shall not be sharing ‘said’ photographs of my day because umm I haven’t many. 

Blogger raynotbradbury shared a blackboard image revealing a thought provoking image/message which as I replied in her comments, the juxtaposition of good theft against bad theft had the cogs in my brain revolving for several hours after, and lol here I am now sharing the lady’s image lifted (borrowed) from her Blog, though not stolen because I give raynotbradbury full credit (in addition I’ll link to hers) and it prompted a reaction.

Below is her list of good theft’s alongside bad theft’s and presented a little like a blackboard easel in a classroom, the juxtaposition of both columns prompts a reaction because one side is in direct opposition to the other therefore your brain cogitates and ruminates, its message is as simple as good versus evil or a black and white plus a question of morality.

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Now I’m going to refrain from writing a lengthy essay and instead share with you my own personal thoughts on ‘idea theft’, simply because the ‘blackboard’ synopsis could resemble an essay you’d forward to a college lecturer, but I’d guess you’ll have strong views on what is allowed when using other writer’s material, copied ideas and thoughts within your own writing, so lol I won’t  because you will ALL have personal stories to tell. I know Holly has regrettably been copied many times……… the consequence of being a great poetess.

Very thought provoking all the same when you think back to the info you’ve uploaded (or has been uploaded of you by someone else!) remember when your child starred in a school play?

Though I will share one anecdote, btw I’m gazing out of my living room window because my Town is about to be hit by one almighty thunderstorm!

(Above are photographs I’ve snapped!)

Many months ago I read a blog post from Canadian Blogger ‘Skinny and Single’ (very entertaining lady) and remember ablogfromtheuk isn’t my first WordPress, now I’m afraid I cannot recall Laura’s post though within our comment thread she did point out something that hadn’t ever crossed my mind and I quite literally murmured to myself “OMFG!”

I guess Laura’s post was WordPress related because she replied,

‘it’s highly likely someone has copied one of your posts’ (because she (Laura) has been plagiarised 😦 )

I guess all you have to realise is my Blog at the time was reasonably popular, not to worry perhaps no one did copy however I did wonder if I’d been plagiarised, post content stolen and my second thought was ‘have any of my personal photo’s been copied and pasted to other internet users Picture Folders?’

Hmm? :/

You may have guessed over the space of many months I’d posted several personal photographs, I’ll go further as to say I’m absolutely 100% positively convinced my pictures are now in the possession of others and perhaps being used touted as their own which is a little upsetting. However I’m an ‘intelligent’ adult male, I’m fully aware the internet is not always populated my honest people so I have been careful to only show photographs that I know could be reused, do I mind?

Yes and no, I’m in no position to ‘throw stones because I live inside a house with glass windows!’ To be more exact I’ve shown photos saved/downloaded from Google (regularly) but don’t friggin panic they’re all legal and borrowed from legal websites and used (with care) within a context, but I’d guess the owner isn’t aware they’ve been uploaded by a friend acquaintance or ‘friend’…………

The moral of the story is you have to be so SO careful the pictures you allow people to take of yourself………………….. allow a boyfriend to take naked pictures ‘legs akimbo’, then after you’ve split up don’t be surprised to see them on YouPorn! 

Yes, it’s happened!

Hence when I posted this one I was careful………. hmm showing my face could create no end of employment problems! I can assure there IS context with the photo below. ‘click here’ 

Me for post (6)

Secondly yes I do mind someone may have copied a family picture and called it their own for no other reason than the photo could be of a Grandparent, but they’re passed away and again I’ve been careful………..though highly unlikely and well if they have then all I can say is ‘you are a sad bastard!’ and glass houses etc.

Every other photograph (more will follow) here is I guess fair game and if you enjoy my post content then please link to this Blog.

In conclusion you out there be very VERY careful the photos you share on the internet, absolutely no nudes especially if you are female and remember if you upload an image to Facebook, they then legally own.

😮 !

You mean you didn’t realise this?

 

A. Shepherdson 2018

 

tying a loose end & 1 favourite tuuune

Btw this ISN’T a blog discussing and sharing blog tips, I once read what is I think very good advice ‘that there is little more boring than reading a blog about blogging’ and as Julia once replied to me………… ‘we all wing it here’ and so true.

Having said all of that, if you read my previous post (blatant unashamed advertising lol) you may be curious how the said lady blogger reacted? Did she perhaps consider herself a little offended? Perhaps you’re not curious at all but I’m going to tell you the answer anyway.

Seriously though, being over familiar with my writing or annoying someone here would have been awful. 😦

tumblr_nil4rnaRvI1u7gbido1_500My previous post was/is a response to a lady I follow, you can read Relationship Advice linked ‘here’ and yes a little cringeworthy rereading however it was written with the best of intentions because her post touched my heart. Well to say next day after publishing I was a little worried, jeeze I thought to myself ‘you’ve gone tooo far this time!’ However not to worry she wasn’t offended adding reading had made her laugh and as you may well imagine making someone smile, being a fun read is lovely to know.

Now to my favourite tune, we all turn to YouTube to listen to music videos performed by the artists we love and luckily for us WordPress ‘writers’ we have a resource. Btw take note if you didn’t already know YouTube allow sharing as I didn’t for quite a while. Fortunately if a favourite tune exits on YouTube you can copy and paste a link to one of your draft posts and as if by magic 😮 said video appears just as below……………….. truly amazing.

I’m very much a 1980’s music lover, a little untrue because I’ll listen to any tune originating from any era whatever the genre as long as I like it, however every so often I’ll hear a song that blows me away or for whatever strange reason touches something in my soul? Each and everyone of us has favourite songs, not necessarily because they speak to us emotionally or are special for a poignant reason, no we all have favourite songs because well, they just are!

I hadn’t heard of Gwen Stefani or No Doubt that’s until one Thursday Evening many years ago on BBC’s weekly music show ‘Top of the Pops’. I’d guess the opening seconds of chomping maggots buzzing flies Adam picking that apple in the Garden of Eden captured my imagination, btw an introduction often cut from radio show broadcasts which is quite wrong!

Where was I? Oh yes I clearly remember the beginning with wasps and insects followed by the most incredible tune and performance sung by a very beautiful blonde young woman and yes it very nearly blew me away. Is there any point to me trying to put into words how and why I love the song? Most definitely NO, watch the video and you either understand what I’m saying or lol either you don’t.

A. Shepherdson 2018.

Relationship advice from the heart

Mild adult themes (all very err tasteful)

Comments are disabled, blogs names and specific details are omitted out of respect, and as always original content. (I know lol all very mysterious and ever so melodramatic! But hey I do try. 😀 )

A reply of sorts, more so thoughts and musings intended for a blogger I’ve followed for 3 months now, AND for anyone else who cares to read………………. if you smile great, murmur ‘wtf’ better, mutter to yourself ‘mind your own blanking business’ that’s fine, it’s all good good with me. 🙂

I’m unsure if ‘you’ read my posts, if so you’ll hopefully appreciate I’m very honest and err :/ whether I’m good or bad I write whatever’s on my mind at the time, so I’m hoping you accept this evening’s thoughts in the good natured spirit they are written, for my sins lol I enjoy responding to other bloggers posts. Just perhaps call these thoughts from the perspective of a red blooded (nice) guy. 🙂

To begin with, you tag a great many of your posts ‘anxiety’ ‘body image’ and ‘body dysmorphic disorder’, and I don’t take responding to these tags lightly, I’ve read a few internet resources as well as your posts, I’m an empathetic type and just know 🙂 I’ve done my research.

I’ll begin by quoting a paragraph from your most recent blog so that you’ll have an idea as to the direction I’m coming from:

‘……………… has been getting to me more than usual. It could be because every day the wedding draws closer, and so does the honeymoon. This perfect image I have had in my head since I was a teenager of my honeymoon consisting of giggles, laughter and lovemaking is turning into a dream that I can only wish for. No one should have to dream up their honeymoon and never actually live it.’ Hmm very sad to read so let me try to be a little positive and helpful from now on!

I’m unmarried however (and I’m not bragging btw) I have had a fair few sexual partners in my time enough said, I enjoy regular (vaginal sx) however give me the choice of a fantastic body tingling sexual missionary experience OR kissing cuddles intimacy and an emotional connection then I’ll take the latter every single occasion. To me sx with an absence of intimacy is a waste of emotional energy which if has ever happened, always left me deeply depressed…………. but that’s enough about mee!

Here’s a trivial fact for you, might come in handy if you get on ‘Who Wants To Become a Millionaire’, did you know Vatsyayana’s ‘Kama Sutra’ states there are 64 sex positions, SIXTY frigging FOUR for heaven’s sake!!! Jeeze :/ I’ve only tried 6………..no 7, perhaps 8? Oh and he states there are 8 fellatio positions on their own….. apparently! Now talking of fellatio, and I doubt I have to explain what the word means to you readers, I do get side tracked, I commented on your blog this evening, sat down to eat my tea and the idea for this post crystallised once AGAIN into my imagination because I nearly wrote a post similar once before!

Time for a diagram ‘lifted’ from Cosmopolitan magazine,

socialshare-blowjob-1479243025

No more pictures, err I think above explains all!

Sharing with guys ladies and a female reader in mind, I’ve often asked myself do I prefer vaginal sex or having fellatio performed on me? (By a lady) And I have to say, being completely honest, if really pushed for an answer I will say I’d take fellatio every single time, the warmth of the lady’s mouth, wetness of her saliver helping her lips slide up and down my hardness heightens the sexual pleasure to a whole different level, sensual erotic pleasurable and err orgasmic :/ comes to mind. Not forgetting those two magic words intimacy and connection, if the lady is on her knees, gently sucking whilst gazing up at me with her two doe eyes, well all I can say is our emotional connection is almost telepathic or perhaps serotonin dopamine and other pleasure giving chemicals heighten a closeness attachment and love you have with a partner, either way having a woman perform oral sex is a gorgeous out of this world experience and DEEPLY satisfying rewarding even…….. take it from me, the sensory pleasure felt is near fabulously indescribable…….. hmm mee thinks a useful tool for a honeymoon I’d guess! AND take it from me good girls will.

Now that I’ve disabled comments, I find I do have one question, do good girls consider putting their lips around a clean hardness, in their mouths unladylike? Dirty even? Not for me? I hope not because out of all sixty frigging four positions, for a guy fellatio has to be number 1 or 2. However with ONE caveat :/ I’d say the lady has to enjoy blowing for the sx to be truly enjoyable and loving, but I guess ‘practice makes perfect’ as my mother used to say!

Btw these following generic tips are intended for any lovely person reading, whichever your sexual orientation lol it’s all good to me. 🙂

A few BJ tips for any ladies reading, If you’re giving a guy a bj, ask him questions about his likes, guys all enjoy something different, questions like “Shall I use my hands? Do you want me to lick the tip? Am I using enough pressure?” Are I guess added foreplay. Take it from me asking helps to relax a guy, it shows him you’re enjoying what you’re doing, and again personally speaking I’m always asking myself ‘Is she enjoying this?’ A guy won’t experience pleasure unless he knows a partner is!

Jeeze I’ve just caught a glimpse of my wordcount 950 words! Hmm I’ve ‘loads’ more to say so I’d better be brief or my readers will disappear. Communication is key, licking and sucking hard and fast may not be enough and I spent an afternoon with a lady who said she had (no better not say), anyways remember since the age13 boys have taught themselves to masturbate using their hands so licking and sucking may not be enough, I’d suggest a lady alternates stroking with her hand time to time to replicate his boyhood learnt technique also take a breather…………… hope this helps!

1000 words! I’d better share my tips even quicker!

Don’t ignore his balls be sure to kiss and gently tickle, suck if you wish but remember they’re not gobstoppers! And remember guys need foreplay rather than a lady heading straight for the hardness, AND never use your teeth and FINALLY the question of swallowing? Well put it this way a lady I know decided not to, so I guess the saying ‘good girls don’t’ pretty much applies lol.

So in conclusion I’m hoping I haven’t unintentionally offended ANYONE, as always over the past 2 years anything I write is meant to entertain however with this post keeping in mind those important tags of anxiety and body image, I truly believe no other sex position can better fellatio for intimacy pleasure and connecting between 2 human beings, useful on a honeymoon perhaps.

A. Shepherdson. 2018

girlwiththepawprinttattoo’s challenge

This response is in place of something (coming sooon) that’s a touch different for me, then again I’ve always said I’m err theme less? 🙂

Thank you to girlwiththepawprinttattoo for her nomination, I’d love to reply to her challenge 🙂 I’m afraid though I don’t strictly play by the Award rules on WordPress, however I DO love answering the questions also reading those of everyone else involved. Just call me awkward lol but as with megisacat’s Challenge, the lady’s questions made great ideas to write about from a fun personal perspective.

First here are Becky’s five questions to be followed by the girlwiththepawprinttatto’s five, I had fun answering and again :/ apologies for not playing strictly by the rules………….. but I doubt anyone really minds?

When did something start out badly for you but in the end, it was great? Starting my Toolmaking apprenticeship at the age of sixteen. Looking back I think working for a living was a shock to the system in so many respects, new people, new surroundings alien after school, hours set in stone, being disciplined by men who would NOT accept slackness or bad behaviour! However over time I learned to love the job and cherish the skills that were being taught not forgetting I was being paid a wage. Looking back I was lucky, not every boy had the opportunity to be chosen to learn a Trade that will hopefully keep me employed for life, some boys would have wanted this opportunity so badly but missed out and I should always remember that. We all should. :/

What movie can you watch over and over without ever getting tired of? ‘All The President’s Men’, yes the movie is a few years old but will always be a fascinating story. It follows the Watergate break-in and subsequent scandal HOWEVER the message is as relevant to today’s dirty Politics as it was in the 70s, whether that be D. Trump in the Whitehouse or Number 10 in the UK. Watch the movie and you’ll realise nothing’s changed plus All The President’s is a fabulously paced whodunit………. won Oscars and everything!

What “old person” things do you do? Omg I think I fit into the bracket of being old, but hey in for a penny in for a pound, I’ll call into my local Supermarket around 6.50pm and why? Because they reduce all the food that’s on it’s final ‘sell by day’ before closing at 7pm. I know frigging sad or what!!

If someone narrated your life, who would you want to be the narrator? I had lol difficulty with this question, Richard Burton because as with his opening narration to the film Zulu, Burton could make anyone’s life sound exciting enough to take notice of.

What artist or band do you always recommend when someone asks for a music recommendation? The honest answer is my recommendation would change almost every day, depending on my mood or what’s been playing on my mp3 player my answer could be any number of bands? Sorry!

Leopard-97

girlwiththepawprinttatto’s questions ( :/ ? Well you never know it could be a leopard pawprint?)

What actor/actress would you want to play you in a film about your life? Tom Hanks, only because the characters he plays in movies are always likeable amusing heroic individuals who everyone loves, plus he marries Meg Ryan omg lucky guy!!!

You have just woken up from being cryogenically frozen. What is your first question? I fear my answer won’t be everyone’s idea worthy of an Award question, but yet again girlwiththepawprinttatto’s question really had me thinking. I suffer from epilepsy, see I told you it wouldn’t be a barrel of laughs, and I’m pretty convinced I actually know the answer to this question for real. The start of a seizure I liken to an electric shock, a physical mental jolt that blocks out thoughts of everyone and everything around me. Then the following three seconds are feelings of dread clarity and an understanding of what is to happen next, three minutes of unconsciousness! However (and here’s her answer) when I awake there are ALWAYS, without fail several concerned human faces looking down at me the worried faces of Good Samaritans! People who cared enough to stop and help their fellow human being, empaths have you will, lovely people who were the ones out of all the others walking past who took time out of their day to help me OR use their mobile to call an ambulance. 🙂 This shows to me there is goodness in the World and my first question is “where am I?” These lovely people have also reminded me that I to should stop and help a person in need and I have done. Lol sorry if I’ve rather depressed you but not everyone stops!

What type of movie would your life be? Romance? Drama? Comedy? Horror? Drama I guess for the above reason.

What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should? I think my TV Station exists! Topless women laying on a bed shaking a phone in one hand, mouthing “call me” at the screen ❤ ……… I’m joking I’d never ever lol phone I’m tooo tight with money! A great Channel I’d love to exist is one that’s dedicated to Space Exploration, Moon landing footage…… I know really boring haha.

If you were famous, what would you want to be famous for? Answering this question is actually more difficult than I first imagined because unlike children of today I don’t want to be famous. Watching ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ (I do) and the thousands of kids who want to be famous, it seems sad they don’t appear to want anything else other than famous? They should listen to Francis Rossi from Status Quo when he said, “you just don’t wanna know what’s behind the Show Business façade, it ain’t pretty”. Lol rather err depressing but children want fame so desperately that they’ll not think about the insecurities performer’s suffer from. But if I were famous I guess I could say a Motor Racing driver because of the money thrills and pretty ladies (least I’m honest!) that come as the trappings, but honestly I’d like to be famous for inventing something that help’s my fellow man, a drug that cures a disease?

Fun questions and apologies for not playing by Award rules, but not to worry. 🙂

A. Shepherdson 2018

megisacat’s challenge

I’m not an Award tag type of Blogger but I like reading any sort of list/questions post that catches my eye, megisacat’s Challenge passed a fun hour and here’s my response to her questions.

I’ve a trivia fact for you, did you know lists (could be of anything) are perhaps unsurprisingly the most popular blogs on WordPress? I read it somewhere, I think? I say unsurprisingly because human beings love lists don’t we, whether the shopping list of foods we either essentially need or fancy eating, or perhaps those bucket lists of things to try before we get tooo old to do, I haven’t officially been tagged this evening (later on) but megisacat’s questions captured my imagination and looked rather fun, one in particular would be nice to answer, I miss our family’s Border Collies SO much which is a good excuse for posting 2 photos on my WordPress.. 

What is your favourite drink? A good old pint of English Bitter, a rather boring answer I know but I adore the taste of fermented hops on my tongue and I’d have to drink quite a few before getting drunk, I also love Southern Comfort and lemonade trouble is I’ve lost whole parts of my life drinking tooo many S. Comforts! Like ONE HOUR several Christmases ago, I started the evening in one Department, regained consciousness in a totally separate Building and different Party? (Having thrown up in the toilets and a colleague using fingers to help the ‘stuff’ go down the sink!!) 

What advice would your future self give your current self that you are unlikely to follow but you know it’s good advice? Go chat with any woman who catches your eye, you never know where it’ll end up!

What would you change about the world? Easy question, yet rather depressing to both write about and no doubt read. The simple straightforward answer is I’d ban Religion and I’m convinced the world would be a happier peaceful and more tolerant place. Only the other day a guy at work refused to shake a female Secretary’s hand, he said,

“I’m Muslim and don’t shake women’s hands”………………… WTF??? Something to do with avoiding temptation, whatever, it’s just ##king rude, she was upset and offended and now everyone’s angry! Lol enough Politics and Religion.

Favourite Song? (post a link/embed a video if you’d like)

Abba’s ‘Thank you for the music is a favourite song, Benny and Bjorn are quite rightly now considered genius composers, and those teenage dreams I had with blonde Agnetha are unprintable! 

Favourite animal and why? Easy question and a little (very) sad to answer but here goes. Ever since my sibling and I were young children our family has owned Border Collies, well there’s 2 in particular I think about most days you know a memory prompted from happy times with Belle and Lucy for those were their names. Border Collies are most definitely the MOST intelligent breed of dog, without question, and our two would watch mum dad me and my sibling go about our day with such concentration that I sensed they understood what we were going to do next without us knowing. Lucy would sit by her lead dependant on what shoes I was putting on, if my mother got a tub of cream from the fridge we’d time how long until Belle was by the kitchen without calling, waiting for the empty carton and the list goes on. They were super obedient, fetch a ball all day long, affectionate, loyal, fun, friends and I’d better stop lol before I start crying!!!! 😀 Lucy (left) was the puppy from hell but grew into the perfect companion.

What is your Favourite memory? Without question time spent with my two Grandfathers, throughout my childhood and when a teenager I enjoyed their companionship and the values they taught me. I learnt the game of cricket from my mum’s father, and some of the happiest days of my life were just the two of us going to watch Yorkshire play at Scarborough Festivals then later in his life when age 85, our roles were reversed and I was the one to look after him all day and bring him home safe, funny how that happens in life :/ ……………. I know he really enjoyed those times and jeeze I’d better stop before I start lol getting all tearful!!

If you had a day off like Ferris Bueller (a day without consequences) what would you do? I’m afraid I have absolutely no idea who Ferris Bueller is? (Untrue I have an inkling but can’t be assed to Google!) but this is an easy question. Hmm a day without consequences? There’s a thought! Well ALL I’m going to give away is making love to a certain beautiful mature lady I know, married hence the consequences enough said! She’s intelligent amusing, prim and proper and drop dead sexy from her chestnut brown ‘bottled’ hair colour, to having the figure of a twentysomething, a classy slim woman with absolutely massive boobs, her summer print dresses with plunging necklines almost make me pass out!! ……………….. Just imagine if she read this WordPress now there’s a thought. :/

What is your favourite quality about yourself? Jeeze this IS a difficult question, I’ve thought about this for quite a while and I would say I have a great capacity for empathy, I feel other people’s pain to the point where it really isn’t emotionally good for me, however empathising with other’s problems isn’t for show, no it’s very genuine and heartfelt. 

What is your dream job? Again I’ve given this one a lot of thought, I’ve noticed that as I get older that dream job doesn’t seem to exist to the same degree as it did when I was age 18. Nah scrub that lol, a dream job for me would be working in a Nature Reserve as a Park Warden…………… yes truly a privileged dream job, just imagine out in the countryside all day looking after wildlife!

Like I said fun questions!

A. Shepherdson 2018.

 

Blogging Awards

Comfort Zone/ Challenge Sign Concept

I prefer to approach writing Awards as responses to a Challenge, lol I’m anxious and insecure enough to imagine my Blog should be awarded but being nominated by ‘girlwiththepawprinttattoo’ is VERY flattering and the lady’s questions are fun………AND btw possibly the most intriguing Blog name I’ve come across.

But lol there’s more, megisacat’s Award questions captured my imagination and looked fun to write about as well, so I’ve written/writing 2 separate Posts because Challenge/Awards are certainly an interesting light hearted way of sharing thoughts about oneself, and exercising the old grey matter of an evening! 🙂

Two just for fun Challenges will follow, and hopefully mine will be as interesting as the other nominees. 🙂 

A. Shepherdson 2018

Body image, reflections in a mirror

Photos of myself A. Shepherdson.

‘Looking at yourself sitting naked in front of a mirror’ – (My response)

Sharing these three photos is the closest you’ll get to seeing me fully naked on the internet, promise 🙂 , btw they have genuine relevance to this post……… honest!

We all take time out of the day to look at our body naked in a mirror, don’t we? And before you say “A. Shepherdson you’re weird” let me say “I don’t!” Ask someone this question and they’ll reply “you have to be kidding me?” Inquire a third time and the honest answer will be “well only after stepping out the shower, until I see my ass in the reflection!” 

I wonder does anyone enjoy staring at their naked body and are you weird to admit doing so?

How best to begin this evening’s post. Well this is a response of sorts to a lady blogger I follow, a reaction to her recent post themed ‘getting back sexual confidence’. Bare in mind sex with me is more casual relationships but I want to talk about body image more generally, so I’ll just write and see where this takes me.

I’ll not name this blogger, not my place to, just be aware she suggests readers sit and look at themselves unclothed in a mirror, get used to appreciating their body positives, accept their imperfections and learn to love themselves for who they truly are.

Appreciate the real you, treasure and admire the person a sexual partner stares at, or the body friends and strangers stare at throughout a day…………although wearing more clothes!………..As an aside I’ll appreciate both busts and cleavage of women I work with ALL day long and btw ladies guys love women’s boobs whatever shape and size.

Where was I, ahh yes a female blogger and body image.

I’ll quote a paragraph from her post themed ‘getting back your sexual confidence.’

‘Looking at yourself in the mirror for 10 minutes: I know this sounds cheesy, but I promise you it does help. In a book that my therapist gave me, it suggested that you look in the mirror naked for 10 minutes. I thought this was absurd, but I reluctantly tried it anyways. I hate looking at my body and, when I do, I constantly point out my flaws. However, in about 5 minutes of staring and feeling ridiculous, my mind set began to change. I realized that I wasn’t focusing so much on the negative as I was on the positive. The 10 minutes went by rather quickly after that point and I had truly begun to enjoy myself and appreciate me. My confidence was rejuvenated.’

Well I reflected on this blog post after reading, definitely one of those pieces of writing that captures the imagination. Later that same day I found myself a mirror, stripped off naked, sat on my bed (after closing the bedroom curtains and I don’t want Helen over the road seeing me nude, then again I WISH!) Then sitting crossed legged nude (photos) I gazed at my naked reflection for yes 10 whole minutes!

Seconds into my challenge, two personality disorders came to mind, narcissism and vanity lol, however the minutes ticked past and yes the experience was interesting and a positive one.

Hold that thought and I’ll it revisit later, but first…………

We should be taught ‘how to’ and reasons ‘why to’ appreciate our bodies at school, why an earth not? Both girls and boys blossom into adulthood not liking themselves their bodies, bulimia anorexia anxiety depression often start because we hate our flaws and don’t appreciate the image others like about us school. No perhaps about it, lessons themed body image should be taught!

Do they?

Then again perhaps educational Nazis might say this leads to vanity narcissism and self love.

The only self love you should worry yourself with, whatever age, is don’t feel guilty about masturbating, enjoy the pleasures your body will give, the warmth and ‘tingles’ noting playing with your bits is good for ones mental health.

I read that last bit on the internet so it must be true? Either way playing is a great way of appreciating how you can enjoy your body.

Enough talk of masturbation!

I’m a guy who’s the opinion there’s NEVER a substitute for education! So why not teach body image lessons? No seriously I’m not joking, how many times do you pick up a women’s magazine and read stories of women hating their curves? How many times in the media have you heard stories of bulimia and anorexia where both boys and girls think themselves so overweight that they starve themselves until near death?

This very moment ask yourself ‘do I like looking at my naked body?’ Keep this in mind whilst reading on.

Speaking for myself, I have parts I don’t like, I’d love to have grown up taller, I’ll not use the word ‘wish I was taller’ because my Grandmother used to say we should be careful what we wish for! Yes taller and handsome and then perhaps I wouldn’t be single living on my own and feeling rather lonely, well at least I’m honest! Lovemaking, affection and closeness are essential to human life, we need and crave intimacy to keep us mentally healthy and happy, so experts say!

The phrase ‘we all need to love and be loved’ is at the very heart of what makes us human.

A question for you!

Can you recall a throwaway remark someone’s once said to you, a remark they assumed inconsequential devoid of weight thought or meaning, YET that remark had a profound negative effect and has remained with you till this day? The aforementioned person probably didn’t mean anything by it, perhaps they were feeling harassed, having their period, it was a soon to be forgotten observation, yet their comment had such a damaging negative effect that it will probably remain with you till the day you die?

Of course you can! I know a woman who overheard a teacher name her a ‘slut’, it left her devastated and she’s never forgotten.

A personal anecdote for you. Many years ago whilst sat in a hospital consulting room, don’t ask me why because I have no idea why I was in hospital, why is missing the point. The phrase a stranger called me is the point and has remained with me to this day…….. probably for the rest of my life?

I can clearly remember being sat on a bed age possibly 18 and listening to a conversation by two young nurses chatting in a room next door, and yes I’m pretty sure I was stripped to the waist at the time! They were attractive girls and as a teen I wanted to girls to find me attractive, we all want to be perceived attractive, jeeze the hang ups us humans have all because of sex is frigging scary.

Don’t ask me what else they talked about? I can’t remember apart from two words! One nurse said to her colleague with a patronising condescending tone of voice,

“I better attend to that little man next door”, describing me in such a dismissive negative way, the affect was like thrusting a knife into my stomach. I remember being clearly devastated, it would have been SO nice to hear her whisper “he’s nice” or whatever! But little man? A compliment would have made my day, my week! Gladdened the heart, made me smile but no lol……….. she chose a withering “little man!” She didn’t like my body. 123 Ahh!

Mortified I was and a lesson in why we should compliment each other, genuinely say nice things because they matter. A relative of mine is often heard praising her young sons…… we remember praise, praise shows love builds self esteem praise matters.

I know for absolute fact Primary School teachers are taught to praise children when they do well, they’re taught to encourage the other children to applaud excellence, it helps you learn to empathise with others.

🙂 I know a Primary School teacher.

Btw that’s the last I can recall of my day in hospital and the off handish nurse! Cow lol! Yes an inconsequential throwaway line, but for a young man lacking self confidence, a debilitating shyness around women, this pretty sexual nurse hurt me to the core, she thought me ugly and learning and hearing the lesson was awful.

So earlier when I say I’d love to be taller, lol perhaps now you appreciate why! Similarly,  I’d guess if a girl overheard someone labelling her a “plain Jayne” OR “her boobs are small!”, she’d be mortified and the affect on her self esteem would be similar?

So returning to my lady blogger also her therapist’s suggestion that you should sit and look at your naked reflection in the mirror……………….. for 10 minutes!

Staring back at my body was interesting and yes a positive experience, I don’t meditate or ever have done but I’d liken gazing at myself naked as meditative having zero option but to stare at my body! To begin with it felt alien and amusing but after a while I relaxed and viewed myself in ways I hadn’t done for a long while.

Quiet contemplation and no I didn’t!!!

I’ve always appreciated the beauty in my genitals, I mean I’m not someone who wishes different! No I’ve always treasured ‘my bits’ and like all guys impressed with their manhood when aroused, but without going into personal detail there are other things about my body I both liked and disliked and you HAVE to appreciate and accept don’t you, learn to love what a sexual partner is attracted to. Physicality’s aside I found my 10 minutes morphed into silent contemplation, a looking deep into my face, gazing deep into my eyes was a reflective experience.

By that I mean all day I will chat with friends and strangers, read their facial expressions conceptualise what I like about them, or more worryingly what they don’t like about my body? And I realised I only really look at ‘me’ whilst shaving in the morning, perhaps thinking how I can engineer bumping into perfect boobed Helen (age 50) over the road.

The only other time I look at ‘me’ is catching a reflective glimpse in a shop window, appreciating accepting the image that forms in other people’s minds.

You may be thinking ‘I’d rather have a tooth pulled’ than look at myself for 10 minutes BUT I’d reply, “we have to don’t we?”

I stared at ‘me’ looking back at me and I reflected on life’s problems, thought about my family, occupation, where I hope to be in years to come, what changes I want or should make in my life, I lived 10 minutes outside ‘the bubble that is A. Shepherdson’s life.’

Summing up.

Staring at my naked body, was a worthwhile positive experience and I heartedly suggest you give it a try. Or perhaps you do, I’ve stumbled across a blogger and her therapist who do.

Go on lol do it! If little else time spent in thoughtful contemplation isn’t time wasted, and appreciating your body, genitals, and sexuality is again time well spent. Vanity? No of course not.

(Jeeze 1874 words! :/ It’s tooo many isn’t it.)

A. Shepherdson.