On the 87th day God created cleavage

I must admit I’ve been in two minds whether to publish yet another boob tale (said that before!) Blogger Lesley kluchin won’t be impressed and I don’t blame her, of all the lovely readers to reply Lesley isn’t adverse to giving Andrew’s virtual ass a written spanking, several occasions tooo, I love them!! I fear my sexist tales understandably challenge the lady’s mommy sensibilities also school teaching values and quite right tooo……… Still, Lesley’s a good looking woman for her age, just shows a woman can still be sexually appealing at age70😘 . (Btw she wasn’t offended when I wrote that because I’m a nice guy.)

Ok I’ve a breast obsession! I adore sucking caressing licking and gazing in wonderment, what more can I say? 😀

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Ladies be watchful of peering eyes looking down from on high

Seems an age since I’ve affectionately ‘objectified’ a woman’s body on this WordPress.

Omg summer’s finally arrived with a vengeance and Oxford city is crowded with (age appropriate) young ladies wearing fewer than usual, there’ll be micro cotton dresses revealing milk white thighs, hem lines sooo short that on a guy’s lucky day he’ll glimpse ‘cushions’ of knicker gusset captured in the breeze, and just imagine but for this soft delicate fabric I might see kitty lips moistened and glistening against the sunlight! The problem is I have to keep in mind I’m old enough to be their father if not older!!

Btw this has happened, I’m not complaining ladies but watch the skirt length for heavens sake my heart isn’t as young as it used to be! Or with the advent of #METOO am I deemed sexist for looking and enjoying?

Do you wish to know why I enjoy riding double decker commuter buses in sunny weather? (You know you want to 😀 ) I’ll sit beside a top deck window waiting for my evening’s ride to pull away from the pavement, with a forearm propped upon a window-sill I’ll gaze down at delectable University students (age18) and pretty female shoppers walking past, their animated laughter and chatter a joy to behold, better still and you just know what I’m going to share with you next, more often than not when hot summer days arrive, so do tight fitting tee shirts with plunging necklines and ample boobage jiggling their own merry dance.

And because I’m seated peering down from up on high I’ll watch out for the colour of their bras as they walk on by, and if fortunate I’ll see pastel blouses with their collars open and top buttons undone, omg it’s fabulous to be alive when gazing at milk white boobs nestling comfortably within cups of various sizes, and working down the alphabet from an A cup to a DD, on a REALLY lucky day and this only happens once in a while mind, when the angle of eyeline is correctly aligned and her cups are larger in size, then I have been known to coup d’œil a small brown nipple or two.

Now that we’re on the subject of ladies’ nipples and keeping in mind their SOLE function in life is so that a baby can latch on and drink mums’ creamy goodness so they’ll grow up healthy a strong, yum yum big deal………………..

(Ahh I’ve just had an idea! I’ve some ‘breastfeeding in public’ opinions that I’ll leave for another day 🙂 )

ERR where was I? Oh yes tales of peering down ladies’ blouses! Yikes could I get into trouble doing this?

However this sexy street theatre doesn’t last forever as our gruff diesel engine rumbles into life, alas my down blouse performance is over for another day 😦 that’s until I descend the upper deck stairs and I share this thought with you quite truthfully, again when luck is on my side (lotta luck required in my life, keep up!) A BIG breasted young lady has been seen standing waiting ready to get off, I’m hovering above looking directly down, and no word of a lie, a balconette bra separating two perfectly shaped breasts with her belly button clearly in view. 

🙂 Btw she appeared like a vision one hot summer’s day last year, 😀 so ladies be aware!

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I’m curious, does a woman’s sixth sense tell her when a guy or girl is taking a little more interest than perhaps they should be?

Incidentally this saucy nonsense flows easily when I’m sexually aroused, why not try it yourselves dear readers? I should add the knicker gusset aided by the lifting skirt breeze scenario happened last August! Happy days 🙂 .

(Two ‘borrowed’ stock images which are NOT my own!)

A. Shepherdson 2019

Swallowing, all you ever wished to know AND so much more!

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‘Now before you get all hot under the collar branding my post ‘icky’ and distasteful, just keep in mind EACH AND EVERYONE OF US was born of our father’s semen!………… Oh and I’ll be away for the foreseeable 🙂 ‘ 

(Talking of good taste, here are two cute puppies before I begin.) 

Read More »

Is Lust really a deadly sin?

If you are happily married, or happily co-habiting, you may find this post morally challenging though hopefully not, as always it’s just Andrew thinking out aloud 🙂 .

(Part2 follows, I have a lady neighbour who owns a dog!)

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Can two people be ‘only ever’ just good friends?

During those idle moments when one’s mind tends to wander there’s a question I often ask myself, would I sleep with a unhappily happily married woman?

The movie ‘When Harry Met Sally’ is a real favourite of mine and not because of Meg Ryan’s awesomely faked orgasm, a performance that’s more than a little disturbing to us men! No I’m fascinated by the premise at the story’s heart, the question Billy actually asks Meg namely can two people be ‘just good friends’ without the relationship becoming sexual OR heading that way until intelligence and good sense makes people stop and think! Can you be friends with that ‘special’ person at work without becoming romantically involved?

Read More »

Trouble with the Youth of today is………….

I’m guessing if you have children of your own you’ll possibly probably enjoy this one. 😀

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‘David’ by Michelangelo 1501-04, I think if the day ever comes when this magnificent marble statue is deemed obscene it’ll be the day I finally give up on humanity.

“Wow didn’t David have a small willy!” (Now come on you were thinking it so I said it.)

A very wise man (she could have been a woman) once wrote ‘the good ole days’ are 50 years long (I’d suggest they never existed in the first place), and the older I get the more I understand that writer’s perceptive thought processes, AND without Googling (because I never do) didn’t a philosopher living way back in antiquity days once utter the line “the trouble with the Youth of today is……..”

Well I have to be completely honest I’m no longer writing the post I’d first intended, the name of this Greek guy intrigues me so through the wonder’s of Google I just had to discover his actual quotation, and wouldn’t you just know I came across these following words of wisdom written by other Greek philosophers of the day.

A brief intermission (Get the popcorn out).

(The tale of how and why my Great Grandfather emigrated from Southern Ireland back in 1916 will have to wait, on and off I’ve been researching my family tree his father was a Boer war soldier and I’ve recently been given written evidence to prove something I’d suspected or hoped to be true…………… namely Grandpa was a political refugee, his family persecuted by Catholics so he sailed the Irish sea seeking asylum in the UK as both an illegal immigrant also a migrant worker…………… hmm well who’d have guessed, Grandpa was an asylum seeker, perhaps I should be more careful when discussing UK immigration!! 😀 ………. btw the irony isn’t lost!’)

Intermission over.

Returning to Googled Greek philosopher’s and their wayward children, ok this evening’s post is little more than regurgitated facts you’re all probably aware of, they’re lifted from the internet by me, nope nothing incisively new here but they’re entertaining reading all the same!

“They (Young People) have exalted notions, because they have not been humbled by life or learned its necessary limitations; moreover, their hopeful disposition makes them think themselves equal to great things – and that means having exalted notions. They would always rather do noble deeds than useful ones: Their lives are regulated more by moral feeling than by reasoning – all their mistakes are in the direction of doing things excessively and vehemently. They overdo everything — they love too much, hate too much, and the same with everything else.”
(Aristotle)

“The world is passing through troublous times. The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behaviour and dress.”
(Peter the Hermit in A.D. 1274)

“I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words… When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise (disrespectful) and impatient of restraint.”
(Hesiod, 8th century BC)

“The children now love luxury; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are tyrants, not servants of the households. They no longer rise when their elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize over their teachers.”
(Commonly attributed to Socrates by Plato)

Incidentally if you’re curious I don’t profess to be an expert on Greek philosophy, ask me a question about Socrates! And I’ll tell you the guy was a medical doctor, who smoked 20 cigarettes a day and played football for Brazil at the 1978 World Cup.

A fun read don’t you think? Especially ‘Peter The Hermit’s’ thoughts on girls of today……….. my guess is he didn’t have daughters or perhaps he should have got out a little more often!

A. Shepherdson 2018

Theresa May Dancing Queen?

(Re. Whimsical Wednesday and a continuation to my earlier dancing themed post)

Theresa May, our ‘British Prime Minister danced herself onto the stage at the Conservative Party conference to………………….. wait for it! To the tune of Abba’s ‘Dancing Queen’.

So I ask you did she pull the stunt off or did she make a complete and utter fool of herself?

I hope the offending video manages to play in your country and hasn’t been blocked, if not go to YouTube!

I’m all against Minister’s of Parliament trying to be ‘hip cool and down with the kids’ whether playing electric guitars, telling jokes or regaling tales of their favourite rock groups it’s cringeworthy to the ninth degree………… however I do think Theresa ‘her of the leopard print shoes’ May just about carried the stunt off, she ‘flips’ and ‘flops’ but I do have a lot of time for Theresa, he says begrudgingly.

Any Minister who manages do remain in charge at The Home Office (Police, prisons, law and order) that graveyard of many a rising political career, and for six frigging years! Must be a skilled manager of people……………… perhaps she has one or two Brexit tricks up her sleeve before March 16th 2019…… here’s hoping!

On the other hand Britain’s about to leave Europe courtesy of Brexit, which is far from a laughing matter but I guess if you’re going to give a key note, much anticipated speech to the Nation then attempting a quirky stunt is worth a punt?

Brexit here we come!

A. Shepherdson with borrowed photographic Media.

‘Cool Dancing’, blog #8

Blog #8 

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So sad to read Olivia Newton John’s cancer has returned for a third time, like many people Grease is a favourite of mine, she played the role of Sandy amazingly at age 40! And pulled it off. I originally watched the movie at the Town’s cinema,  😦 would you believe it’s now a ‘Wetherspoon’s’ restaurant!!

Kim published a ‘whimsy’ themed,

Those who dance are considered insane by those who can’t hear the music

(Coupled with amusing cartoons)

Hold that thought!

Late last evening (very late) and in draft form I wrote what would have been blog #8, a meandering train of consciousness continuing in the vain of parental relationship, more accurately my childhood relationship with my father and the reasons why and more importantly I don’t have children…………. all very serious nonsense!

But sometimes life stories are tooo personal even for WordPress.

Well I reread this morning with a coffee for company and yes lol the essay was cathartic however also ‘whiney’ and self indulgent CONSEQUENTLY it will not be published so probably that’s an end to my Caring for a Parent series, they’ve been thoughtful writing but I’d rather not milk the subject to death, so thank you so much for the feedback I really do appreciate it.

Now returning to Kim’s quotation which I still lol have trouble understanding.

If you can dance! (Alas I cannot and you don’t need me to try either) and btw I’m talking of adults at any age, close my eyes and I can still visualise my Uncle slow dancing at his daughter’s wedding, and even at @50yrs he looked pretty cool, AND more importantly he had married older women dancing with him!!!

(Here’s an honest afterthought, my parents met each other at a dance! Mum said my father couldn’t to save his life and would near twist himself into the floor……… this WAS the 60s after all)

So here’s a question, if you can cut a move on the dance hall floor, whatever the age maybe, is this the easiest way to catch a prospective mate? Or even 😉hook up with after the party’s over?

The hardest thing in the world is to strike up a conversation with a stranger you are physically sexually attracted to, all my life its struck me dancing with he/she is a great way (easier way) to break the ice AND seeing as you’re all holding Kim’s thought, could this be a reason why someone could be single?

If you can dance! Then you are cool.

A. Shepherdson 2018 (Grease photo borrowed from tinternet but note I DO NOT make money from blogging)

“Cabin boy stuffed his arse with broken glass and now he’s circumcised the Skipper”

I love the English Language.

I have for you this evening a fun amusing (finger’s crossed) light hearted post not to be taken tooo seriously, and jeez don’t you find time passes all to quickly in life generally, oh and here on WordPress, a week’s passed and I haven’t ‘published’ (for several reasons) but there you are.

So like I said time for a post that’s a little more light hearted and how does the Muppets backing vocals to a Sex Pistols song grab you? Hey? I’d like to theme this post our love of Language and introduce you to a word you may have never heard before.

Frigging! (And yes it’s in the Oxford English Dictionary)

Frigging: My go to Blog word in place of profanity/vulgarity, I’ll even go as far as to say it’s becoming a firm favourite, you’re all lovers of the English Language, so have you ever heard the word and do you know what Frigging means? Have you ever seen it written into a Blog? I tend to use Frigging in place of swearing within my Blog, it’s less vulgar and sound’s awesome dripping off the tongue!

But before I begin, here are the Sex Pistols and quite unbelievably a Muppet cover! I dare you not to smile. 😀

(I do hope the Band’s South London accent translates and you’ll understand the lyrics if not Google! However alas I don’t think the video ‘combo’ is Jim Henson’s but apparently he loved it!)

A second reason for writing this evening’s post is I came to realise after writing for a few months on WordPress my language was appalling, and by that I mean foul language. Oh yes I used f### and s###, as noun verb and it’s descriptive sister in crime adjective far far tooo often, once or twice is ok? Any more and the F word loses all shock value, it’s okay to perhaps emphasise a calamity or the worst of behaviour but unacceptable remembering teenagers may read my Posts? Don’t please 🙂 . AND as my old School teacher used to chastise, swearing is ‘lazy writing’ and I’m inclined to agree.

Not quite acceptable in everyday spoken polite society but if you did say “Frig me” or “Frigging Hell” it’s just about acceptable………… certainly sounds less harsh on the ear than ‘F’.

I first stumbled across Frigging as an 11yr old and I can remember precisely where I was and who said it. By Martin Ashby on a Scout camp in Hampshire 19##. But I’m doubtful anyone reading this post has either used or perhaps ever heard of Frigging? ……………… OMFG I’ve only this second realised I haven’t shared The Oxford English Dictionary meaning with you………….. Frigging means clitoral stimulation or to a lesser extent male masturbation, and now you know the meaning doesn’t it sound rather delicious? Anyways I apologise for revealing so late in this evening’s post. 

So there you are, Frigging! I hope to see it written in your blog posts sooon! And btw don’t assume I’m a grammatical expert ask me to define verb and I’ll answer FU.

©A. Shepherdson 2018

Mrs May YOU are embarrassing!

I have said this is a Politics free blog…………… there are exceptions!

Theresa May Britain’s Prime Minister, an intelligent powerful woman her finger on the Nuclear button attended a function Thursday and was photographed (below) bowing and fawning to a clearly embarrassed Prince William…………….. you can almost feel her aged knee joints creaking as she could crouch and kowtow no lower! In fact this cringeworthy act of seeking favour from a long ago bygone age make’s me angry, not at the Royalty for I am a staunch fan of ‘The House of Windsor’, no I’m annoyed people still in 2018 make such fools of themselves, William can almost be heard mouthing,

“Get up woman you’re the Prime Minister for God’s sake!”

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Please note I’m far from being a misogynist, the sight of PM Cameron bowing his head to Royalty made me feel equally as sick 😮 . When first elected I placed a great deal of faith in Mrs May to stand up to our hard line Right Wing racist Brexiteer Ministers, but irrespective of whether she’s a woman, because I admire powerful strong willed women, the above photo paints a thousand words 😦 . 

So very sad Theresa’s truly embarrassing herself, I can hardly give her photo a second look especially when the Queen has put on record she doesn’t expect people’s sycophantic grovelling (I’d guess that’s another phrase for “please don’t do it”).

Having said all of that!

Since the day Theresa was first elected I’ve considered her a VERY sexually appealing woman, perhaps labelling her MILF is a little strong but all the same whether she’s wearing a figure hugging slinky dress, or leopard print kitten heals call me odd but I think Theresa has sophisticated style and yes I wouldn’t say no! She is very sexy! ❤

(And btw for the record there aren’t many Politicians I’d say the same about, so perhaps the saying ‘power is an aphrodisiac’ is truer than you’d imagine!)

A. Shepherdson 2018

An open apology letter to women not wearing bras!

‘Strap’ yourselves in this is a LONG one! 😀

Early evening thoughts with MILD adult themes…………. honest and respectful as always (comment if you’ve had your fill of my female sexual observations and objectification of the female human animal’s body)………….. my imagination I fear is out of control 7 o’clock at night, I’m incorrigible, my hardness is excited and twitching hence I write because these posts are fun and keep me interested when WordPress feels a lonely place……… 123 ahhh 😀

Does anyone honestly think this photo below is offensive? 

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A question for you, why is the female breast nipple such a big deal for a guy? And I’d agree with you ladies who say nipples shouldn’t be, after all they have one purpose in life to allow a nursing baby to latch onto the breast and drink mum’s milky goodness, big f#cking deal? Then babes grow into healthy toddlers having benefitted from the nourishment natural milk brings, AND yet still in 2018 breast nipples visible in public are a big issue with guys (me as well)…………………… but then you ladies ALREADY know this!

I fear all men at heart are really bigger versions of immature juvenile adolescents, and over the past 35 years I’ve worked with many immature juvenile adults who sadly objectify the women’s body BUT are women equally as bad…………. that’s a whole different blog post!

Returning to breast nipples! 

Yes nipples for a guy are a big deal, however hard I try I cannot stop myself from noticing when either in the company of a braless woman, or looking when passing a young lady in the street who’s taken the brave and courageous decision (an awful statement but I fear they have) to go ‘free’ beneath her tightfitting orange tee shirt, as happened with the young lady Friday afternoon as she passed me in Oxford High Street……….. a heavenly vision of a naturel wonderment she was.

So to you Miss, and I know you wont be reading this silly blog post, but if you did I must apologise if I made you feel uncomfortable as I stared at your breasts bouncing and jiggling as you briskly walked along the pavement, I gazed for rather a long time I know, more than is appropriate, my defence is their perky exquisite shape was female perfection personified (note as are all ladies breasts are), yes I felt a little ashamed afterwards 😦 .

(Yes a little. And note this uncontroversial post will make sense by the finish)

I’m lol aware I’m afflicted and note from a respectful appropriate distance, I realise I have a boob obsession I’m going to seek medical help (I’m not but it’s a great line!) But then hasn’t God evolution and mother nature left all mankind gloriously captivated by these wonderous milky goodies……….. and yes I realise God and Darwinist theories of evolution are not happy bedfellows.

Guilty as charged, every lady I’ve ever been lucky enough to watch undress before we consummate, the second she takes her bra off I go weak at the knees and near pass out and I’m not joking for effect!

So returning to my Oxford lady wearing the orange tee shirt yes I’m guilty as charged for being utterly transfixed by her nipples perhaps made more prominent by the cold wind breezing down Oxford High Street……….. and being absolutely serious for a second I think my gaze made her feel uncomfortable and yes I am sorry because well………. I’m guilty of bullying! ……………………….. (But lol she smiled at me so all’s good 🙂 )

Honest of me to admit this don’t you think? Or are any female readers shaking their heads thinking to themselves this is the reason I never ever leave the house without first strapping those two ‘droopy girls’ into a medieval torture device, with sharp underwires that chafe the skin, made red and sore by a garment they cannot wait to fling off when first returning home so uncomfortable is the bra to wear.

Now seems as good a place as any to share a video I first watched months ago, the truth is I wanted to share a female’s perspective and Sophie’s video is well very very good. I’ve asked her permission which is right and proper and click ‘here’ for a link to Sophie’s YouTube ‘here’ for her Twitter (btw I do not Tweet!), Incidentally she’s a Vegan activist, guru to minimalist living and zero waste, practices Yoga and Pilates all very intriguing don’t you think? 

Sophie’s Video 🙂

Interesting watching wasn’t it, are you convinced and now for the rest of my breast nipple post!

(Depending on how this post fairs I have further posts themed breast implants and bra designs in draft………… btw you should SEE the content I have in draft lol I’d be shut down but NOTE I never ever show inappropriate photos on my blog!

But breasts are essential aren’t they, beautiful and however juvenile and adolescent you may think men are for looking, I’m afraid we’re utterly transfixed by a woman’s pointy hard nipples made evermore prominent with thin cotton fabric draping over their shape.

So what’s to do? What’s the answer and I would rather controversially suggest bras should be banned and made illegal, women should be fined prosecuted and sent to bra prison until they learn the error of their ways, instructed to comply with Laws that say wearing such a useless garment is well just plain wrong!

Hmm on reflection perhaps that’s a touch controversial…….. well perhaps :/ more than a touch?

Oh yes where was I? Nipples! Keep on-message.

But hold on perhaps if every woman lived her daily life as God intended, their body free of a garment designed to hide the nipple from men’s gaze, because that’s all I see they are because I’m reliably assured breasts become firmer, tendons become stronger when no longer constrained confined and unnaturally shaped by ill fitting bra cups as Marks & Spencer’s reliably says YOU are!

thRR9EV72QIf every woman went braless then perhaps nipples wouldn’t be the novelty for men they presently are?

Picture left is a Googled image btw, both are!!

Because Britain is gloriously in the midst of a warm humid summer heatwave, on three separate occasions this week I’ve seen a woman in Oxford braless beneath her dress AND for my sins I can picture all three, yes a sad fact to admit but I can visually recall all err sixes shape bounce jiggle and prominent nipple, I take my proverbial hat off to the ladies having the guts to go au naturel because the unwanted attention from wandering male gazes must be near unbearable a sad fact of life but I fear the way God made us.

I’ll leave this rather light hearted post brimming full of uncontroversial slightly male chauvinistic observations with one final anecdote.

As a male child of age thirteen, a coming of age in a young man’s life lol, I remember first visiting the South of France for our summer holiday, and until my dying day I’ll never forget my first day visiting the sandy beach affront of a warm Mediterranean sea. Unforgettable not for being my first time there, no astonishing because the thought hadn’t ever crossed my mind that back in the 1980’s virtually every woman enjoying the sun sea and sand wouldn’t be wearing a bikini top!

Unbelievable incredible, I remember I thought I’d died and gone to heaven but importantly this day was before the internet, pre YouTube, digital cameras were a pipe dream, these were the days a woman could get her tits out knowing for certain their photo wouldn’t become a viral image and shared around the world? These were the days before home PC’s, hard-drives and picture folders, years before adult websites we’re informed drive internet content, no back in the 80’s a woman could take her bra off in the perfect knowledge no one cared apart from teenage boys………. oh and their dad’s!

Hmm thinking about it, that virtually covers all male mankind.

But here’s a thing! After lol an hour or so the novelty of first seeing a woman’s boobs passed by, truthfully and I’ve mentally run this thought many times, after one hour of incredulous staring women’s unfettered boobs became a perfectly natural ‘jiggling pendulous’ sight, and I guess by the end of the day on the beach breasts had near lost their sexual appeal (well nearly). Bare breasts had honestly become accepted as the new normality, no longer a big deal and in fact a woman would have appeared out of place odd and unusual if she HAD been wearing a bikini top!

Unbelievable I know, but if you’d been bathing on that beach however a prim proper classy sophisticated ‘good girl’ you are, oh yes your tits would be a swinging, the cool air sea breezes making your nipples go hard and pointy…………….. that’s ENOUGH Andrew!!

😀

So there you are, controversial opinions I know, but if bras were banned and everywoman enjoyed life free of this ridiculous garment, her shoulder tendons would be stronger, there wouldn’t be these unfounded irresponsible theories of bra’s being connected to cancer (I’m here to tell you they exist controversial or not and I think they’re wrong but what do I know) AND men wouldn’t notice the jiggle! Then I can assure you the sight of prominent nipples as with my Oxford lady in orange tight fitting tee shirt, would become the new norm and perfectly acceptable and yes no longer a big deal!

So have I convinced you to bin your bra yet? 

©A. Shepherdson 2018.

Kissing girls

Original & © A. Shepherdson. (#humour 🙂 )

(A free shout out to ‘Taylors of Oxford’ Deli!)

First off let me say I’m NOT homophobic, far from it, I’m a ‘live and let live’ kind of guy (as Long as no one gets hurt 🙂 ) whatever makes you happy in life then that’s fine by me. I’ll go further and say a person’s colour or sexuality has NO bearing on me, I take people as I find them so yes ‘live and let live’ ❤ .

Having said that some readers may find my tale err slightly unnerving?
Let me begin. This evening I have a light hearted lesbian story for you, this truly happened oh and just quickly, bare in mind my WordPress is whatever captures my imagination at the time.

I’m fine with lesbians they even feature in a bedtime fantasy of mine, I’ll take a second glance at two women kissing in public, lick my lips ever so slightly only because they don’t bother me, I guess that’s because I’m a heterosexual guy. Then again perhaps the spectacle of two girls kissing in public makes straight women feel icky? Or perhaps social niceties mean we’re of the opinion there’s a time and a place………………. called the bedroom!

I’ll go further and say the sight of two guys openly kissing in public makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, now HOLDON lol before judging me! (He say’s 😉 with tongue firmly in cheek!) I should qualify that statement with I’m not tooo keen on heterosexual couples kissing in public either, making out in full view ‘smacks’ of ‘look at us we’re SO happy’ and I have a feeling the kissing show is intended to make people jealous………. to be honest I’m as jealous as hell.

(Btw did you know threesomes, a guy in bed with two naked lesbians, is a well known male fantasy?)

Course you did!

Am I of the opinion a homosexual couple kissing, for example at a Supermarket Deli counter, will corrupt young minds? No of course not, quite the opposite toddlers would gaze amused bemused and transfixed, and you never know unconcealed same sex affection could possibly make children more accepting? Ask their mum’s tricky questions about homosexuality?

Perhaps there lies the problem.

Now to my true tale, writing passes the evening!

Several years ago a work colleague and myself were standing in a rather long queue of customers waiting to be served at a Shop Deli counter, buying freshly made (and expensive) sandwiches. Well to cut a short story even shorter, directly in front of my friend stood two young women who I’d guess were Uni students. Lovely young women they were, one girl had an arm resting on her friends shoulder in such an affectionate way that it was quite obvious they were in love, gazing longingly into each other’s eyes and YES every so often kissing passionately on the lips! (Almost tongues inside!!)

So they were shamelessly in love, fabulous, and I’d guess everyone in the Deli was well aware of our young couple’s passion for each other.

Then to my utter astonishment! My friend rather loudly says to the two girls,

“That’s disgusting, do you have to do that?”

Well as you’d imagine for a second or two everyone in the shop stopped talking, a hush descended on the Deli with everyone turning and looking, only for a few seconds mind. What happened next was all very civilised, with a complete lack of drama, the girls gave my friend an annoyed stare, stopped petting and all shop life returned to normal as if the brief confrontational interlude had never ever happened.

A very typical reserved English reaction, no drama no arguing, the girl’s paid for whatever (I can’t remember) and leave. Then it’s myself and friend’s turn, we purchased our baguettes headed for the door taking us out into the Main Street, WHERE my friend turns to me and says,

“Where are those girls?…….. I changed my mind……I want to watch!”

Making us both smile as we walked back to work. (To be honest I think he felt a little embarrassed at causing a minor scene back there.) BUT in his defence the girls had p*ssed him off, made him feel very uncomfortable.

As for me, well I’ll have to be honest and say I didn’t mind watching a lesbian show of affection 😀

I could have added for literary effect, the girls were within earshot, an argument ensued, but no the two lovers had disappeared perhaps off to bed? (Hmm there’s a thought 😉 ) And we two reverted back to topical male only conversations, lesbians kissing is a little filthy and quite amusing BUT there’s a time and a place! I never did ask him why he became so angry.

However speaking for myself, if two guys had been kissing and petting in that same Deli, making out directly in front of me in the queue, I’m here to tell you lol I’d become increasingly annoyed to point where I’d no longer be able to hold my tongue, and I’m positive I would politely say,

“Do you mind that’s disgusting!”

Now remember I’m not homophobic but I’ll be honest and say watching two men kissing makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, perhaps male on male intimacy is something I should be more accepting of? What do you think? Being serious for a second, perhaps we’re just biologically programmed to feel uncomfortable watching our identified gender being over intimate with, err a person of the same sex, men or women? Hmm questions for anthropologists to answer.

Does anyone care? No 😀 I say live and let live!

Feel free to share your thoughts in comments below…………. make them harsh lol.

(One final thought before I go, I’d still love a threesome with two naked lesbians, a male erotic fantasy if ever there was one!)

 

© A. Shepherdson 2018

 

Terms and Conditions, do you ever read them?

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My fictional tale ‘Pretty Lady On A Train’ was written six months ago and the only post I saved from my previous blog which got deleted! I hope you enjoyed reading it even though I’d agree if you said the sex was a little excruciating. Am I upset 130 posts got deleted along with my old Blog? No not really, well perhaps I wish I’d saved a story or two if I’m honest, but importantly I have all the photos safe in an album.

Now for an admission.

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Two weeks ago I happened across a BBC advertisement, asking their Radio 4 listeners to send in a short story of no more than 8000 words, original fiction have you will. A winner would be chosen, awarded £15,000 and best of all have their story narrated on the BBC!

WOW an incredible prize!

So remembering I’d saved this fictional tale I thought why not enter (but won’t win 🙂 ), so two weekends ago I completely rewrote from beginning to end and took much more care with phrasing and plot this time. Go read lol! Then came the time to enter the competition, I filled in my personal details online, uploaded the docx file containing my story and just as I was about to excitedly press send, I noticed a tiny square box instructing me to tick when I’d read the Terms and Conditions…….THEN send.

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You’ve seen those Terms and Conditions boxes before, every time you open an account on the interweb, amazon eBay Financial Banking whatever, the Company in question tells you to read their Conditions, you tick and you agree to their rules. Even WordPress, jeeze their list goes on for pages, but at least they allow adult material……….. within reason!

Do you read website Conditions? I do sometimes but I’m both lazy and trusting, so if say Barclays Bank has stated after 2 years a Bond will mature and they’ll pay me the balance and 3% interest I trust them. (Stupid really, cause knowing what crooks and charlatans banks are, they could just as easily say after 2 years we’ll keep the balance and give the interest to charity!

Perhaps I should read a Bank’s Terms and Conditions, or any Organisations hmm trusting people online is for mugs!

Well returning to my genius masterpiece of original fiction, which wasn’t going to win, but anyhow I thought it would be a wheeze to enter, and better still I’d enjoyed writing once again spurred on by the fast approaching closing deadline.

Before pressing send, and remember I’d spent hours re writing my tale which you can read here. After all my careful story telling I thought to myself ‘suppose I ought to read BBC’s Conditions, and to my shock and horror they said the competition is only open to established authors with a record of publishing.

Well that counts me out, I’m not a published author and to say I felt both very foolish and totally deflated is a given. But I did learn a valuable lesson, always read Terms and Conditions first! Mind you if I had read them the other day, I wouldn’t have written my tale and I wouldn’t be here tapping away on my laptop this evening.

Btw if you’re curious I scan :/ read WordPress’s Terms and Conditions before starting this new blog, I genuinely trust 🙂 WordPress!

A. Shepherdson.