‘Get Carter’, (the 1971 movie)

Judith Crist in New York magazine gave ‘Get Carter’ a glowing review, saying “Michael Caine is superb, suave and sexy” and describing the film as “a hard, mean and satisfying zinger” and I could agree more.

Starring Michael Caine (a performance he takes great pride in), a young nubile Britt Ekland never sexier and playwright John Osborne, ‘Get Carter’ was adapted from the novel ‘Jack’s Homecoming’ as all great great films are……. oh and the opening title music set’s a dark menacing tone brilliantly.

Yesterday evening I recommended the movie ‘Get Carter’ to a blogger I follow, yikes that’s problematic when we all have differing tastes, and likes are purely subjective.

But here goes with my take on a film review.

‘Get Carter’ is rightly regarded as the greatest British crime movie of all time, but don’t expect an eighteenth century ‘Downtonesque’ soap opera British TV inflicts on the rest of the world (ahhh I can’t take this dross any longer!), but a period drama all the same with the backdrop a North East decaying England gripped by recession. You’ll see no fancy period costumes, no quaint English villages or lush Shire countryside, for 1970s Newcastle is a bleak grimy city who’s truly great industrial past is long gone leaving it’s inhabitants in misery and depressing poverty, ‘Get Carter’ is a TRUTHFUL time-capsule all the same depicting a region of England that’s never recovered………. and expect a meandering tale leading to a vengeful crescendo and unexpected ending.

Packed with great quotes like, “behave yourself… you’re a big man but you’re in bad shape with me it’s a full time occupation” (I’ve used that one) ranking up there with Duval’s “I love the smell of napalm in the morning”………… and there’s SO many more!

Jack Carter played by Michael Caine is a cold ruthless unlikeable London ‘crime lord’ who travels north to avenge the death of his brother (yet female movie goers thought him never sexier, unfathomable creatures 😀 ) Carter’s lack of remorse didn’t sit kindly with critics of the time but many would agree gangsters are vicious nasty criminals, you shouldn’t like him, and certainly the viewer has no empathy for Caine yet we know these heartless menacing villains exist, and I’d rate Jack Carter alongside Coppola’s ‘Godfather’ both psychopaths’ oozing screen charisma who’ll kill a man and show no remorse.

Here’s what Caine himself had to say,

“One of the reasons I wanted to make that picture was my background. In English movies, gangsters were either stupid or funny. I wanted to show that they’re neither. Gangsters are not stupid, and they’re certainly not very funny” “Carter is the dead-end product of my own environment, my childhood; I know him well. He is the ghost of Michael Caine”.

‘Get Carter’s’ response from critics was lukewarm, although not a widespread theatrical release it made money, and as the years have passed popularity has now surpassed cult status, does that ring a bell? Remember ‘Shawshank Redemption’ one of the greatest movies ever made bombed at the cinema, was panned by critics and is yet now regarded by audiences as a favourite, no a classic.

With a meandering plot (not a criticism btw) pushing the boundaries in cinema and a cold unlikeable Michael Caine’s at is finest, ‘Get Carter’ is definitely worth a watch 🙂 .

A. Shepherdson 2020

Selling your body for money

So what to make of today’s Title? To begin with 4 of my past 5 postings have all been corona virus themed, I’ve enjoyed the creative writing process however 4 is quite enough for the present. Not to worry, I’ve revisited my draft postings and blown the dust off this masterpiece languishing unloved and unpublished! It’s politically incorrect (if not darned right illegal) and morally questionable, out of synque with present day social distancing regulations (a frigging understatement if there ever was one!) but I’ve decided to publish (yeh Andrew keep calling yourself a writer) and be damned….  now I’ll quit apologising and allow you to decide if selling your ass for money could ever be considered acceptable.

We’re all prostitutes of a sort, we can all be bought if the price is high enough, can’t we?

Note this posting isn’t a movie review however it is an Indecent Proposal!

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l;jhI’m going to pose a rather delicate question, however hold on before scrolling down to take a peek.

Do you remember the motion picture ‘Indecent Proposal’ starring the fabulous Woody Harlesden, sexy Demi Moore and screen icon Robert Redford. The premise of the film is Woody and Demi, a young beautiful hipster couple are truly madly deeply in love, besotted with each other, just understand if you’ve never watched the film, the movie’s narrative never stops reminding you Woody and Demi have discovered their soul mates…… yes each other.

Forgot to mention they’re newly married.

Now for the plot twist, into this highly watchable tale appears the cool and charismatic Robert Redford, still to this day one of the most beautiful of men to have starred on the silver screen. Well to cut a long story short (and I ain’t gonna worry about giving away spoilers, Indecent Proposal was released in 1993 for heavens sake!) Robert Redford falls for Demi’s character and why an earth wouldn’t he, a combination of both carnal lust and a long distant memory of a similar lady he once loved, Redford offers the two lovers an indecent proposal of one million dollars for ONE night in bed with Demi……. do I really have to detail the sex scene in their Hotel room? No lol.

Ok Redford #@&^%$ Demi and they fell in love……. why wouldn’t she? And how dumb was Woody?

So now I pose the question, and just be aware I’m pathologically obsessed with this moral dilemma, wouldn’t you agree everyone has a monetary price for a night’s passion with their partner? Don’t they? Many couples allow their partner a gimme’, you know a sexy movie actor/actress they’d begrudgingly happily allow them to sleep with, an amusing hypothetical game which will never be tested in Court.

But returning to my indecent proposal, can you envisage a price for a night’s passion with your partner? If the relationship is on the cusp of divorce then the answer’s easy, take the money, divide two ways and run, however if you’re deeply in love with your betrothed possibly sharing children, would you say “no sum is large enough”, or would you sell a night’s passion with your wife or husband if only for a new house car and spending money!

Like I said this conundrum often crosses my mind when say sitting in a train station’s waiting room, two lovers walk past holding hands wander past and I muse ‘would they?’…………… Well you’ve got to keep an imagination busy when bored out your brains!

Now for a (really) Indecent Proposal.

Ok let’s take my narrative one step further, in a creepier weirdo direction. Remember my previous post Yoga Pants (true) story, imagine yourself  for a second walking a path dividing a grassy green common alone, oh and you’re a WOMAN! When all of a sudden a rather well dressed guy appears beside you, the pair of you began chatting about the nice weather you’ve been enjoying or the like, you trust any motives, the banter’s friendly making you feel comfortable and at ease, then the pervert rascal asks you “how much money to squeeze your ass cheeks Miss?”

Holy crap what do you say?

Bearing in mind your two hands are laden down by grocery carrier bags meaning you cannot smack him round the cheeks, you know, drop the bags smashing the eggs and jam jars. Well after the initial shock passes and you didn’t feel particularly threatened (ok just run with my creepy proposal… and I know you’re unconvinced), the friendly conversation continues if a little nervously, that’s until he offers you that indecent proposal!

(The woman is offered £20)…….. “you can #%& off!”

£30 ………..‘where’s a policeman when I need one’

£40 ………. ‘is he for real?’

£50 ………. ‘I think he’s for real’

£60 ……….‘well the daughter does need new shoes’

£70 ………. ‘ok I’m interested’………. ‘but how much higher will he go?’

£80 ……….‘I can’t believe I’m tempted’

£90 ……….‘omg the wallet’s out of his pocket!’

£100!…………

Would you glance around to see if anyone’s watching, swiftly accept the money and whisper,

“Go on… get behind me…. you can squeeze my ass cheeks…… but nothing more mind!!”

Lol where’s the problem? Who’s to know? And by this point you’ll have guessed I’m convinced every woman will prostitute herself agree to be propositioned if the amount is large enough…….. and before you say,

“No guy would pay £100 to touch my ass”,

You’d be surprised, male fantasies and fetishes have no limits, trust me there are men who’d pay for the thrill of squeezing a married woman’s buttocks, sleep with her for £1000s even but I’m not going there, sexual prostitution’s a whole different Posting!

😀 A. Shepherdson 2020 

Susan Sarandon, still sexy at age 73

So what shall I write about this evening? Why not the voluptuous fulsome breasted screen actress Susan Sarandon…… and why not, regular readers to this my WordPress will realise by now this is a blog devoid of one single theme…………. and remember this is a JFF post not to be taken tooo seriously 🙂 .

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Susan Sarandon oozing sex appeal in her new film ‘Jesus Rolls’….. wow!

Age shouldn’t matter when discussing whether a woman is sexy or not, but the shallow society we live in I’m afraid a woman’s age will still hug the headlines, as for me the best sex I’ve ever enjoyed has been with women over 50, Karina and Kamilla were their names and no we weren’t down and dirty in some sordid threesome, I met them both separately and the ladies were fun amusing confident and drop dead sexy, they gave great head and were fabulous lovers between the sheets

Anyways that’s enough about me.

Released March 20 here in the UK, Susan Sarandon 73 has a steamy threesome in the new movie ‘Jesus Rolls’, I obviously haven’t seen the film yet, but depending on the critics reviews I will go watch because I’ve always had a soft spot for Susan, and not only because of her large fulsome breasts and Red Carpet cleavage revealing dresses.

Susan’s new movie is both a remake of French film ‘Going Places’ and a spin off to the cult film the ‘Big Lebowski’ by the Coen’s brothers, I’m intrigued already and let’s hope the reviews are complementary. At one point in the movie, Jesus (not Christ) jumps into bed with Susan after her character ‘Jean’ is released from prison and celebrates by having a threesome……. whether she gets her boobs out remains to be seen?

No stranger to these roles, Susan starred in ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ playing ‘Janet Weiss’, a sexy lady wearing virgin white bra and panties, the songs are awesome and Rocky Horror remains one of my all time favourite movies….. incidentally ‘Janet’ spends half the movie in her underwear!

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Shallow of me to admit Susan has fabulous breasts…… least I’m honest 😀

Away from films, Susan’s no stranger to looking drop dead gorgeous on award ceremony red carpets, and often strealing the headlines from younger ‘prettier’ actresses. In my humble opinion Susan exudes feminine sexuality so why not reveal your assets even at age 70? I say if you have them, flaunt them and f#ck all those mortally offended trolls on Twitter.

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The World’s press went wild over this photo, probably because one nearly popped out!

Never shy of controversy Susan played the character ‘Hattie’, a prostitute in the 1979 film ‘Pretty Baby’, I’ve never watched the movie, but apparently the child prostitution storyline makes it diffucult viewing that’s still dividing critics…….and apart from going to see Susan’s fabulous plump high round boobs, this storyline doesn’t really appeal.

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To sum up lol, if a beautiful actress remains drop dead sexy into her seventies, then I say keep on playing sexy roles for age is but a number, I’m hoping ‘Jesus Trolls’ is well worth a visit to the cinema so let’s wait and see.

Finally I make no apologies for sharings photos of Susan’s boobs and plunging cleavage, lol my WordPress so there! 😛

A. Shepherdson 2020

Virginity musings

mors-dag

(Categorise this post under thoughts and opinions, it is what is, me thinking out aloud 🙂 .)

Virginity – dictionary definition – untouched unspoilt untainted unadulterated pure and ‘in mint condition!’ (a lot of un’s in there!)

Oh and a little free advice for you, ‘wait for that special person, wait many years if needs be, but don’t under any circumstances give your most precious personal possession to someone who DOESN’T deserve it!’ Now please read on. 😀

Go on-line and you may stumble across an internet forum revealing ‘men’ will pay good money to bed a virgin first, I know incredible or what, Oxford University Students have been selling theirs on-line, that’s until quite rightly eBay put a stop to such inappropriate behaviour :/ then again there is that student loan to pay for?

Read More »

So MOMS do you consider yourself MILF?

A fun mild adult post with themes prompted by the current heatwave sweeping the UK, turns out my suggestion has come true, middle aged women in my home City have thrown caution to the wind and ditched their bras and I’m not being sexist remember, the older woman has found enough inner confidence to go braless and I’m NOT complaining.

Link to An open apology to women not wearing bras.

Perhaps I ought to say if you’re an adult who doesn’t understand what MILF stands for…….……… then lol perhaps this isn’t the post for you.

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Anne Bancroft in The Graduate

When I sat down to write this post I thought to myself I so SO hope a few Moms are reading, now I understand ladies you are never going to comment and reply but lol I’ll ask anyway, if you are a woman of more mature years reading this post, I’m curious to know have you ever stopped and asked yourself am I a ‘MILF?’

Mom I’d Like to F#ck?

But hold on before disappearing rather disgusted by my all to personal question, I’ll have you know MILF is an affectionate phrase because we men all love sexy older women……….. nothing wrong in admitting human beings are sexual mammals. AND hold on before answering because this anacronym is applied to a very particular type of older woman, she has to be sexually attractive to young men 17-21yrs! And I’d go as far as to say most teenage boys will have had a crush on a friend’s Mom or School teacher at some point, a childhood fantasy and nothing else.

I know I did, age 14 my first love was Miss Aspley my massively boobed Physics School Teacher! A lovely woman and :/ the sobering thought is she’s probably no longer with us time moving on and all, but jeeze they must have been Double D’s at least!

Anyways that’s quite enough of talk of boobs or you’ll be giving me a #METOO tongue lashing 😀 .

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Dustin Hoffmann’s iconic line, “are you trying to seduce me Mrs Robinson?”

So what prompted this silly post rather than part 2 of my London daytrip? Well the reason quite simply is the post isn’t ready (needs polishing) but not to worry………. hmm I’ll publish it this Friday.

Streaming into my computer the other night courtesy of amazon prime I watched ‘The Graduate’ a movie I haven’t seen in years, actually I’d quite forgotten how great it is, no not great ‘The Graduate’ is a cinematic classic and I really enjoyed myself. I’ll spare you my own film review because you’ll all know the story of an older woman seducing a college graduate and if you have yet to watch then I heartedly urge you to, the screenplay is crisply paced, Simon and Garfunkel’s music fits beautifully and afterward I thought to myself’ I don’t think Dustin Hofmann has ever bettered his screen performance as Benjamin Braddock a very shy innocent young virgin!

And of course as all good films usually are, The Graduate is based on a novel by the same name, funny how great movie screenplays are inspired by great novels, all the special effects in the world can’t save a movie if the storyline is crap!!

At this point I’m wishing my readers are screaming “SAY SOMETHING ABOUT ANNE BANKCROFT FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE!” And yes Anne Bancroft is utterly devine, her portrayal as sexy seductress Mrs Robinson is truly iconic, perhaps unusual for its time an older woman seducing a college boy rather than the roles being reversed and I’d say Anne will forever be the poster lady for the anachronym MILF………….. the personification of older woman sexiness and sensuality, because what Anne lacks in youth she more than makes up for with her skills of seduction, hmm would the movie get made today with thoughts of creepy Weinstein and the like? I’d hope so because she doesn’t rape him.

So returning to my post’s premise MILF is far from being a disgusting term (here in the UK anyway) in conversation we men will endearingly use the phrase to describe a sexy older woman, a confident woman of such experience and aged eroticism that she’ll appeal to older teenagers! Hmm I wonder if the older woman wishes this could happen to them in real life?

So any Moms/Mums reading, do you consider yourself MILF? (I’d 😀 guess no one answers.)

A. Shepherdson 2018