‘To Vote, or not to Vote that is the question’

My apologies to William Shakespeare for adapting Prince Hamlet’s iconic phrase, (rather good though.)

My Topic for next week might well be Politics, we’ll see, as some of you are aware I haven’t voted in either General elections or Local Government elections since spring 2016, and as of now I’m undecided whether to vote this coming week.

Just be aware my abstaining wasn’t voter apathy, it was a conscious decision after Brexit.

On the 23rd may 2019 the United Kingdom’s voting public return to polling stations yet again, as if we aren’t sick to death of political elections, yes up and down this once great land we the people are being asked to vote in European elections, and the fact we voted Brexit in 2016 to leave the EU isn’t lost on anyone.

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Last week the ‘Brexit Party’ pushed this leaflet through my letter box.

Politics! & Religion! Two topics I’ve promised to avoid discussing up until now, along with being open honest and always telling the truth on this silly little WordPress, I’m pleased to say I kept my word. One year ago I made a conscious decision to avoid political and religious issues because it’s depressing, strong dogmatic opinions upset people deeply, and however passionately someone tries to get their point across they will never win the argument.

‘Little different to an atheist trying to convince a fundamental Christian that God doesn’t exist.’

I’ve broken that Rule only once which I’m rather proud of, discussing politics in my opinion can be lazy writing, it’s as easy to rant and blow off steam and a tedious read when written poorly, yet I understand a human being’s existence is defined by his or her’s political views. So yes several months ago I wrote a post admitting I hadn’t voted in either Government or WODC elections since June 2016, incidentally I’m not proud of myself, now I’m asking myself will I cast my democratic vote on the 23rd?

To be quite honest I’m still unsure and if I do the choice may even surprise me!

A. Shepherdson 2019

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“Diana you say the sweetest things”

Let me apologise for the picture quality, I’ve never published a selfie with my brand new Smart phone before…………… well that’s until today!! 😀

All is happy in Andrew’s little world, joyously happy if truth be told,

“Why so Andrew?” I don’t hear you say.

Now without being tooo indiscreet (that’s rich coming from me) Diana a Polish friend and myself booked into a cheap Oxford Hotel this afternoon, well there I was laying face down on the bed, Diana sat alongside me gently smoothing her hands across my skin and I do so love a relaxing massage, when all of a sudden, spoken through her Polish accent she said:

“You do have a lovely ass Andrew”😍

And even though I say it myself she’s kinda got a point bearing in mind I’m slightly over fifty, yep my ass is a (the only) physical attribute I’m rather proud of, so grinning to myself, showing my appreciation I replied, 

“Now can I lick your kitty please?”🙄

(Blogging Thoughts Photos and Life, 🤗just sayin!)

A. Shepherdson 2019  

Life! What’s it all about?

 

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‘Contemplation’ by A. Shepherdson

🙂 I’m not a sex blogger, life has been my blog theme.

I love ❤ my mother but I fear I’ve taken mum for granted my whole adult life, perhaps we all feel this way from time to time? Saying thank you with a bunch of flowers accompanied by a greeting card with appropriate kind and thoughtful messages therein, is yes a lovely gesture to make once every March, but in reality is Mother’s Day little more than an exercise to ease a child’s guilty conscience? Cheerily lull them into thinking they’re truly appreciating all the selfless gestures and wonderful things she’s done for them over the years)

‘Cynical’ is my middle name at the moment.

This Post btw isn’t about Mother’s Day.

My Father passed away early April this year, his funeral being a week ago however I’d rather not say exactly where and the reason why. Oh yes an emotionally upsetting month to accept and live through, also a pivotal moment in every ‘child’s’ life (young or old) realising they will never witness that parent’s smiling face ever again, that is unless you believe in Gods Spirits and observing life for all eternity sitting on a cloud in heaven, and what if you DON’T like that person sitting beside you? But if you believe in the afterlife please ignore my flippancy 🙂 .

Then again perhaps I’m jumping the gun, forgetting I may burn in hell one day 😀 Yay at least that’s the last I’ll see of this mad world!

❤ Dad’s passing HAS reminded me of my own mortality, (jeeze that’s brought a tear to my eye and lump in my throat), last week I even sensed feeling the Grim Reaper’s cold hand tap on my shoulder, whispering:

“Just to remind you Andrew, don’t feel to comfortable I’ll be visiting you one day sooon”, (he has a dark sense of humour) ok perhaps that never happened but if you’re listening Mr Reaper, I’d prefer to leave it a little while longer thank you very much!

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Life! What’s it all about?

Enough talk of bereavement, Dad has gone however I will never forget him, happy memories remain and now I should must will devote my attention to looking after my mum, but I ask you, at what point do you stop and ask yourself  ‘now can I be happy knowing I’ve done enough?’ Never?

🙂 Love and cherish a parent while they’re alive because you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

 

©A. Shepherdson 2019

‘Could have. Should have. Would have.’ (An afterthought)

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Bullies are truly cowardly people, whatever their age.

You my have read my earlier Post titled ‘Could have. Should have. Would have’, a personal true story laced with honesty and sadness, however I did worry afterwards, asking myself should mental illness be only discussed, approached and written about by skilled professionals.

I’m aware there are dangers, sometimes consequences associated with writing about bullying on the internet hence today’s posting.

You may or may not have agreed with me sharing this sad tale, (please say if you sense dangers therein), perhaps the two friends weren’t wholly responsible who knows? Anyways ‘title tattle’ wasn’t the point behind my tale, I’m just regretful I didn’t ask Karen out on a date that’s all, so yes forget my actual post for a second and please dwell on my final two IMPORTANT messages namely,

Seize the day.”

also

Don’t take a silly argument tooo much to heart.”

I know! I know, two well meaning easily spoken, sometimes trite messages you’ve heard said many times before, they’re both near impossible to live by however true as true can be. So for this post I’ll concentrate on outcomes that apply whatever aged in years you may be.

Always Remember throughout your lifetimes not everyone will enjoy your company and vice versa, and perhaps never more so than at school during those emotionally intense formative years. 

Thinking back to my own schooldays, turmoil and whirlwind years having been discarded  mixed within a classroom of thirty plus other unique individuals, and ALL from very different backgrounds where a disciplined upbringing may not be as loving caring or structured as my own. Sitting here now, I can tell you there are two or three children I’ve so far managed to avoid meeting as adults, thankfully our paths never to have crossed again and LONG may that continue!!

There are also many more I’ve either ‘bumped’ into at the most inopportune moments, enjoyed catching up with or hope to one day, and of course there’s those contemplative moments we all have, where I’ll pause, lick my lips, think to myself’ whatever happened to tall and slender pretty Andrea Hill? (Yes her real name)

Lovely ‘truly scrumptious’ Andrea Hill one of those 5% of young ladies, serene goddesses unattainable to us other mere mortals however that’s a WHOLE other story! 

So finally tying loose ends together, jeeze I sound like Jerry Springer when he imparts his final message to camera after yet another God Awful TV program, the modern day updated version of Medieval Bear Bating for a viewers entertainment.

If you experience the mother of all arguments with a friend, a bust up of monumental disastrous proportions, unquestionably irreparable however hard you try, then perhaps settle your soul knowing the relationship just wasn’t meant to be.

If this scenario ever happens, I’d suggest talk to people you trust because you have to try and move on with your life, like I said, perhaps the relationship just wasn’t meant to be 🙂 and that really is ok.

©A. Shepherdson 2019

 

Fiona YOU have only YOURSELF to blame

I think this is my FIRST rant?

The fact Fiona used to be a Politician (in other words a professional liar) makes justice all the more sweeter 🙂 .

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Fiona Onasanya was convicted of perverting the course of justice after lying to avoid a speeding ticket.

Once in a while and every so often, a news story amongst tens of awful tragic upsetting events you’ll read that day, this one story WILL truly lighten the heart and gladden the soul as in Fiona’s fall from grace today. Justice has seen to be done, a criminal arrest has brought about a Just conviction and we the public who daily have to listen to excuses such as:

“But I wasn’t to blame” (when they were).

Can bask in the joy that someone breaking the law, repeatedly lying to a Judge, WILL have to serve a prison sentence behind bars and young children following this ‘soap opera’ (and I know for fact one 13yr old girl WAS) will understand crime doesn’t pay, lying has consequences and you will be found out! Haah.

I couldn’t feel happier at this moment and 99% of the British population feel the same, (except there’s always 1% of do gooders who try to spoil the fun), btw this story has nothing to do with Fiona’s ethnicity, hold that thought.)

If you live anywhere around the world other than Britain (I NO longer prefix the word Great because we’re Brexit fucked), you won’t have heard of Fiona Onasanya, the disgraced Member of Parliament for the City of Peterborough, sorry the now Ex MP for Peterborough. 

This sorry story all begins several years but to bring you up to date she’d already served her one month in Prison, then after early release served a further two months tagged on her ankle at home, and bringing you up to date today the Tax paying residents for Peterborough turned out in their thousands, cast their democratic vote and deselected Fiona as their MP. Yay 😀 .

Justice has been served and I for one am gleefully unapologetically overjoyed!

Fiona lied “persistently and deliberately” to officers about who was driving her car in an attempt to avoid penalty points. (The Judge’s words in Court)

To cut a long sordid story even shorter, MP Fiona Onasanya lied to both the Police and in Court repeatedly to avoid a speeding ticket, no instead of holding her hands up ‘admitting her guilt’ paying the fine, getting on with her life because we ALL make mistakes, no instead Fiona chose say her brother was driving and all before a Jury………. he wasn’t!!

😮 And what’s more she is was a Barrister by profession, pure madness? 

I’m being very fair to Fiona, I wish her no harm, but as an MP representing her Constitutants there’s no place for lying to the tax paying public, a heinous crime every parent instructs their children is wrong, where would society be if we all lied, all of the time?

Well Fiona then ‘dug her hole even deeper’, instead of stepping down she chose to remain a sitting MP whilst in Prison, continued drawing a wage which really tipped Peterborough voters over the edge into full blown apoplectic rage (you should have listened to Radio ‘phone in’s’) and there our tale ends after she refused to resign triggering a de-selection petition.

Well several days ago more than 7,000 voters signed petitions at ’10’ signing stations and Fiona was kicked out of Office, she brought about her own downfall! This solicitor could have admitted her mistake, paid the fine and all would be well in her world once the ensuing fuss had died down.

Race has no baring on my opinions, in fact if she’d been white the sentence would have been harsher of that I have NO doubt……….. and yes me gloating is an unattractive quality.

©A. Shepherdson 2019 (views all my own)

 

 

‘Fun facts’ about the human female Vagina

(Regular readers to this WordPress will be aware I would never ever EVER! Make fun of a woman for a readers pleasure, no most definitely not. Yes at times I can be err a little out there 🙄, but just be aware I adore these mesmerisingly delectable creatures, and note I’ve spared the reader of actual photographs, 😊 and I’d guess you’ll be thankful for that!!) 

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Copyright ‘McGraw and Hill’

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Could have. Should have. Would have.

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One of the saddest true stories I could share with this WordPress involves a girl, a 17 year old girl I used to attend secondary school with many years ago, her name is Karen (for this post) and NO this isn’t one of my tales of an adult nature.

Karen was rather short with wide hips though not overweight, and far from being a plain girl she was attractive and unremarkable and I don’t mean that in a nasty way, 95% of the population are unremarkable and average looking, I am you are, what I’m trying to say is if life had turned out differently, Karen with her blondish hair may well have worked in a Bank like her mother, married say an electrician, their destiny to birth two children own a dog and live happily ever after on some middle England housing estate.

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Is Lust really a deadly sin? (pt2)

I guess she’s flirty with me 😀 for the simple reason I pose no threat plus I’m a nice friendly guy 🙂 .

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Before I begin my tale I should point out my neighbour wasn’t walking her dog dressed in her underwear 😦 , I’d like to make that one quite clear!

Invariably on workday early mornings I’ll bump into a lady dog walker soon after leaving my home, I’m making for a bus stop with the intention of going to work, the lady is returning home after having taken her dog for a walk in the local Park and as neighbours do, we have a short chat because I’m a personable friendly sort of guy, oh and she’s married and age 45+.

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Is Lust really a deadly sin?

If you are happily married, or happily co-habiting, you may find this post morally challenging though hopefully not, as always it’s just Andrew thinking out aloud 🙂 .

(Part2 follows, I have a lady neighbour who owns a dog!)

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Can two people be ‘only ever’ just good friends?

During those idle moments when one’s mind tends to wander there’s a question I often ask myself, would I sleep with a unhappily happily married woman?

The movie ‘When Harry Met Sally’ is a real favourite of mine and not because of Meg Ryan’s awesomely faked orgasm, a performance that’s more than a little disturbing to us men! No I’m fascinated by the premise at the story’s heart, the question Billy actually asks Meg namely can two people be ‘just good friends’ without the relationship becoming sexual OR heading that way until intelligence and good sense makes people stop and think! Can you be friends with that ‘special’ person at work without becoming romantically involved?

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Schoolteacher ‘Crushes’

File this under happy childhood memories, my first true love 🙂 .

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And NO Miss Steer didn’t resemble this cartoon school teacher, a great image though!

A thought just crossed my mind, I’d guess I’m not only person to have fallen in love with their school teacher, no love is tooo emotive a word, sexual infatuation fits better or is experiencing strong feelings towards an adult every child’s first real sexual awakening, a young teenager’s rights of passage have you will?

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Washing machine drum firepit – ON FIRE!!

You’ll be relieved to read I am done with writing about my sex life, I don’t really have any further tales to share, and I guess readers are either bored with my WordPress or couldn’t give a monkeys about my love life, why would they? (Btw that’s not the reason for writing them).

Either way there’ll be no more stories of boobs and wet kitties.

You promised NO more posts Andrew!

Oh yes firepits!

Do you recall the saga that was converting my old washing machine drum into a firepit? That particular ‘How to post’ is here on my blog, anyways tonight I filmed the first fire burn and uploaded a 2 minute video onto YouTube. 😁

Ok not quite ON FIRE!! More trying the homemade firepit ignited.

Yes I filled my converted washing machine drum with pieces of wood and newspaper, waited until our Sun disappeared into a gloomy dusk because I am a responsible nextdoor neighbour, after all who wants their evening spoilt with smoke drifting across the resident’s gardens?

Alas as you can hear by the audio, I am unable to 🙄 narrate whilst holding a camera hence I tend to sound very strange, and as you all know men are incapable of multitasking? Incidentally I’m whispering so as my neighbours don’t think I’ve finally lost the plot!!

Shepherdson 2019

 

Is objectifying the naked human body (either sex) acceptable?

A post not to ‘overthink’ about for tooo long. And used in the correct circumstances ‘that phrase’ is justifiable! 🙂 .

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I see absolutely nothing wrong with the image above, PeTA took a lot of abuse for this one but really? Perhaps if this beautiful black lady was a white blue eyed blonde……… then again she’d be politically incorrect!!

My two blogging rules of thumb are, to enjoy the writing creativity process and would I enjoy reading? If yes then I publish, if I regale the beauties of a woman’s wonderous body then all’s the sweeter 😀 .

Sexism (noun): prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women on the basis of sex.

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Another day. Another Twitter sh#tstorm!

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“Here’s a pic of me at work… think about this before your derogatory comments, animals,” Harris posted under this picture on Twitter

I do love the internet because amongst all the horror stories from across the globe, on any single day you can always be guaranteed Twitter will become engulfed by a social media shitstorm, a polarised debate between two opposing groups of mortally offended keyboard warriors working themselves up into a frenzy.

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Virginity musings

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(Categorise this post under thoughts and opinions, it is what is, me thinking out aloud 🙂 .)

Virginity – dictionary definition – untouched unspoilt untainted unadulterated pure and ‘in mint condition!’ (a lot of un’s in there!)

Oh and a little free advice for you, ‘wait for that special person, wait many years if needs be, but don’t under any circumstances give your most precious personal possession to someone who DOESN’T deserve it!’ Now please read on. 😀

Go on-line and you may stumble across an internet forum revealing ‘men’ will pay good money to bed a virgin first, I know incredible or what, Oxford University Students have been selling theirs on-line, that’s until quite rightly eBay put a stop to such inappropriate behaviour :/ then again there is that student loan to pay for?

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Missionary (& NSFW)

I guess the truly intriguing side to WordPress is musing ‘I wonder who reads my blog?’ Hmm interesting, so previously in a blog post I’ve told you the length of an average erect penis, you may be aware Karina is a lady I meet inside Motels, and btw not even I know what the following post will be about?

(A Charles Dickens themed London trip follows sooon!)

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I was reminiscing the other day, recalling happy memories, enjoying thinking about the women I’ve slept with throughout my adult life, now without breaking confidences my Virginity was taken many years ago by a lovely lady named err let’s call her Jemma, yes not her name but Jemma suits her. Now I’ll refrain from letting you in on that wonderful afternoon because I’ve already written a post sharing that fabulous experience, very emotional and possibly the best afternoon of my life…………. btw this tale will appear on a blog near you sooon! 

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SATS, niece & Bugsy Malone!

Intriguing Title no? Call this post Creative Writing part 2 or whatever lol.

SATS 1 use

Yesterday was both lovely and sad, lovely because my sibling and daughter came over to stay over for the night with my mother, sad because we all as a family visited my father in Hospital, not the most enjoyable of experiences but there you old age creeps up on every one of us and the best we can do is make life comfortable for him.

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Donald Trump’s America

Genuine colour photographs taken of Britain in the 1950s, the member’s of the public pictured aren’t actors and the film hasn’t been colourised! (Alas I’ve misplaced the link to the website.)

🙂 I’d loved to have lived in 1950’s England, but I’m wondering was life back then as idyllic as the photos suggest? Or am I suffering from a condition that afflicts many people my age, wishing for ‘the good old days’ that never were! 

Because I’m a Brit I don’t follow closely all the political goings on within America unlike in my own Great Britain, a broken Country that once had ‘it all’ then either gave ‘it all’ away or had it taken, a once great nation, the trouble is now I cannot avoid watching awful Brexit news and Brexit madness across the internet.

Anyways returning to my theme today, America! 

I’ve never visited the US and would love to one day before I ‘pop my clogs’ so to speak, I’m really am a big fan, whether following politics or life in general America is captivating and enthralling. Yes I’m a political animal who’s chosen not to discuss politics and religion on the internet, forthright opinions only upset and annoy readers so what’s the point, and I’m convinced people are more interested in writing as an antidote to real life as opposed to………….. jeeze where do I honestly begin?

Viewing America from over here on the opposite side of the pond I’m a fascinated observer, I’m a space nerd and truly grateful America landed a man on the moon later returning him home safely. A brief anecdote for you, one afternoon several years ago, laying beneath a warm duvet spread out on the living room sofa, I watched live footage from the final space shuttle flight to service Hubble, in total I think I watched NASA’s live stream a solid 18 hours a day, as astronauts meticulously replaced Hubble’s Giros and electronics using simple tools worth millions of dollars. Then only several days ago another American first as Dragon Module successfully docked with the space station.

A new space era begins.

With engineering skill, luck and a fair wind the prospect of man yet again walking upon the moon’s surface is a distinct possibility and I truly hope I live that long because yes as you know I love viewing the moon through my telescope, I’d be beside myself with joy and excitement if man returned.

So I’m asking myself how bad (media opinion) can life truly be living in Trump’s America? No one can doubt he loves his Country and puts America first, severs trading with countries who employ cheap labour and import good which close American factories down and put people out of jobs, he’s building a wall to halt the influx of South American migrants from illegal entry, not forgetting the walking caravan of drug dealers and Muslim extremists….. he’s putting America first, standing up for the ‘common man’, upholding a treasured Constitution and preserving a national identity thus ensuring it’s people a good quality of life……… you cannot knock him for being a patriot.

Btw I’m not being sarcastic!

After Brexit and I win the lottery I may even emigrate there………… or Australia………… or Ireland, trouble is I don’t play the lottery! 

( 🙂 please feel free to comment.)

 

©A. Shepherdson 2019

 

 

 

Sexy, a fashion nightmare for the older woman?

Just for fun 🙂 .
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“Mutton dressed up as Lamb” Is a British way of describing a (deluded) older woman who is dressed in a style more suited to a younger woman, also slightly derogatory because she’s deliberately trying to appear young.

Or you may prefer Bernadette Matthews definition at mumsnet.com: 

‘Too much leg and cleavage on show at the same time!’

Regular readers to this WP will be aware I love interacting with other writers, well this evening I’ve a response post prompted by the excellent LA and her thought provoking blog Forever21, I urge you to follow she’s possibly my favourite blogger, slightly irreverent, ladles of honest American attitude and oozing oodles of common sense,.

‘I dressed in an outfit that I thought was good for the event and that I felt confident in. And basically, this is how you should feel when you walk out the door. A friend saw a picture of me and said that I looked stylish and sexy, which of course was my exact goal. But then I started to wonder- was I starting to push it?

So, while we were on line, I said this to my friend, who is in excellent shape and looks great for any age, and she simply shook her head and said “Yeah. I know. When do we actually look good for our age, and when do we start to look ridiculous.”

Ok I agree, LA probably didn’t have the derogatory and unfair ‘label’ mutton dressed up as lamb’ at the point of her writing ‘when do we look good for our age and when do we start to look ridiculous’, but hey they make interesting bedfellows don’t you think?

I’d suggest the what to wear dilemma hardly ever crosses a guy’s mind, I’m age 50 and feel completely comfortable wearing charcoal black jeans matched with a light blue Oxford long sleeved shirt, perhaps a sweater and smart shoes, all very casual, a look I could wear at work or down the pub of a weekend and I’d guess no one gives me a second glance………. HOWEVER I have no doubt what NOT to wear is a real headache for the older woman!

So as I’m at a lose end I did a little on-line surfing all in the name of research, oh and because I’m a guy who knows sweet FA about fashion! Then I happened across this jewel of Debenham’s research which said,

‘When it comes to fashion, nine in ten women aim to dress younger than their years. And more than half say they won’t start ‘dressing their age’ until they are at least 70’, further ‘Over half said they began to dress younger in their 30s and 90 per cent admitted they had started to dress younger by their mid-40s’.

Now LA’s a lady who loves lists and these Top 10 Items You’re Too Old to Wear, read as brilliant advice, and remember I know sweet FA about fashion, clueless, however I’m as quick to judge and point my finger as every other guy so why not give an opinion! Hmm, and I wouldn’t disagree with their 10 ‘fashion minefields’,

  1. Message tee shirts
  2. Too trendy denim
  3. Costume shoes
  4. Micro mini skirts
  5. Anything Showing Excessive Cleavage/Visible or coloured bra straps.
  6. White, Ribbed Cotton Tank Tops
  7. Hair gadgets
  8. Oversized decorated Hobo Bags
  9. Cheap unflattering underwear
  10. Loud accessories

“But trying too hard only calls attention to yourself – it’s overcompensating. You don’t need to dress like a teenager to look young.”

As I’ve said before I’m a keen observer of the human female mammal, read my posts, and I would suggest the true bananas skin, fashion fau-pa opportunity is sexiness, get it wrong wear a short a black leather skirt, heals inches too high, blouses too low cut are a recipe for unwanted attention from men, and disapproving looks from women worried about losing their man and I ain’t saying nothing about looking like a hooker!

Just avoid anything four inches or more above the knee and add tights to make a short skirt less risqué, say the experts. Or wear chic straight skirts, classy being the watchword, allowing you to show off some curves without making you look as though you’re pretending to be born after the Bill Clinton years!

It’s a worry but classy is the watch word, trouser jeans you can wear from the PTA meeting to a party when paired with the right top, stylish padded shoes with wider thicker heels and definitely avoid anything that shows excessive cleavage or visible coloured bra straps……….. or any underwear for that matter.

0818a65ff44362f28e79ebac376d6ec2I realise the older woman would never be caught dressed like this, whoever lol thought low-cut jeans and thongs was a good idea? But I guess the saying ‘you’re only young once applies!

Apparently the more mature lady ‘shouldn’t feel she needs to show it all off. Anything below the middle of your bustline has got to go,’ ‘A little goes a long way,” and no excessive ‘boobage’ past the age of 40, displaying too much sagging skin apparently is a no no, so go for a blouse underneath, unbutton a few buttons and you’re going to look sexy but classy’.

Having said all that, the summer of 2018 was one of Britain’s hottest, and I can recall as if yesterday sitting on the top deck of a bus, looking out the window and watching a woman age 65 if a day. Totally captivated I was, for this mature lady in her blue pencil skirt and restrained high heels wore a tight fitting tee shirt with, wait for it, no bra! And all I’ll add to that is she was a ‘big girl’ yet looked both classy and ravishing!

Way to go madam.

And now we arrive at number 9 ‘Cheap, Unflattering Underwear’ and I’ll profess to being an interested expert! As I’ve written before M&S tells us most women are not fitted properly, a woman’s breasts and body sags so I guess underwear needs to be as supportive as it is sexy.

Having said all or that, our Group Secretary at work throughout Summer wears low cut print dresses displaying her ample assets, the only trouble is us Technicians are NOT listening to our lecturing Professor! Yep I agree, appropriate sexiness is where an older woman can look classy or yes ‘Mutton Dressed Up as Lamb’.

And finally advice from the experts.

“Every woman must make her own decisions about when to break the rules, but what you’re striving for isn’t to look youthful – it’s to look ageless, this way, you’re going to look fabulous because the look is appropriate for you.”

A. Shepherdson 2019

How Long is an Average Length? (Penises)

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2 questions for you, do you know the average length of a human male erect penis? Also have you ever wished to know? If so read on!

I’m a respectfully playful soul on-line, all good fun and it passes the time quite pleasurably, so having tagged this post NSFW, I think it’s ok to share a question that’s sparked and arced my juvenile imagination for as long as I can remember, namely ‘how long is an average length?’ Btw please note this post’s content is about on a par as a woman’s magazine or an encyclopaedia!

Let me begin.

So yes I’m wondering this evening, how long is average length in inches OR centimetres? And no we’re not talking about the length of my telescope! So what do you do when you have a question that’s always puzzled you? You Google ’cause the days of visiting the library are alas long gone…………. yikes it’s been ages since I last visited a public library 😦 .

Amazingly, as of this moment in time I can only remember asking one lady this rather unusual question, and she gave hand-relief for a living! Well think for a second it’s just not the question to ask in polite company is it, women that is, because we men will discuss our lengths until the proverbial cows come home and compare when group showering………… oh yes we will, and do!!

Before I get to the point of sharing my vital statistics, and you just knew I was going to share my length didn’t you? Here are a few facts and figures to keep you amused. And yes I did once get a steel rule out to measure, I’ll admit to that one lol. So let’s talk statistics shall we, yes I researched facts and figures on the www, then blended with my own thoughts and opinions as always, that is apart from several highlighted quotations lifted from appropriate websites, i.e. thoughts on body image!

A collaboration between King’s College and our very own NHS polled 15,521 men, wow that is some serious studying, measuring both their penis length and girth when erect, now wait for it! Are you sitting down comfortably?

The average length of a penis when erect is 13.1cm/5.16″, now didn’t you always wish to know that? And there’s more, the average girth (circumference) is 11.6cm/4.59″ now I have to say if that’s the average then I’m feeling rather deflated!

You want more stats? Ok, the average length when flaccid is 9.2cm/3.16″ and the average softened girth is 9.32cm/3.67″, again I’m feeling slightly deflated if you’ll excuse the pun!! Now if all those figures seem low to you, it just goes to show the size of one’s penis isn’t such a big deal after all, and perhaps the length of a man’s aroused member, swollen appendage ain’t worth worrying about anyway!

More stats? I’ve got them! Only 5% of erect penises are bigger than 16cm/6.3″ long, now that figure cheered me up no end (excuse the pun), likewise only 5% of men have a penis shorter than 10cm/3.94″.

And now to growing old? For those of us closer to the end than the beginning penis size does get shorter with age, men in their 60’s to 70’s may lose 0.4″ to 0.6″ in penis length and interestingly, I never knew this, any increase in body fat percentage can result in the penis appearing smaller as a man ages………… now there’s an incentive for keeping one’s weight down, 0.4″-0.6″ may not seem a lot to a guy but it may mean the world to your partner!

More facts and figures? Ok one more, an internet-based survey of more than 50,000 men and women revealed 45% of men would like a larger penis.

‘Each penis is unique and boys develop at different ages and rates. During puberty, usually between the ages of 11 and 18, the penis and testicles develop more rapidly, although the penis doesn’t stop growing until the age of 21.’

So what does the fair sex think? 

Several studies that I happened across during my not so scientific research, suggested penis size is much lower on their list of priorities than for say, personal grooming also a man’s personality and all I can say is thank goodness for that! That’s the best news I came across all evening! In fact 85% of women were satisfied with their partner’s erection whereas only 55% of men were satisfied with the length of their own, and speaking for myself every guy is so very proud of his own appendage but when asked we’d all admit that we’d prefer a longer one……………. now I detest visual pornography but I did happen to watch a movie starring this black guy by the name of ‘Mandingo’, incredibly he had a 30cm/12″ penis and what’s more he knew how to use it!!

😮 12″ ffs!

According to a Professor Wylie on the internet? (Seriously the website said ‘Wylie’, or were they taking the piss?)

“It may come as a surprise to some young men, but most women have very little interest in the size of their penis and that’s been shown in numerous studies over time, research shows that when it comes to sex, women are much more interested in whether you are romantic, tender and sensitive to their needs and desires than your penis size.”

Yet more data for you, and come on be honest we all like comparing our preferences to national statistics. A published report by UCLA no less, showed 84% of women feel “very satisfied with their man’s penis size”, though that doesn’t differentiate between girth and length? Yes men worry whether their penis will sexually satisfy their partners but apparently we men can get equally anxious worrying about how we look naked, and personally speaking how my body is perceived by a lady does worry me!

And now we come to that old chestnut does size matter? Of particular concern for some men is whether their penis will be sexually satisfying for themselves also their partner, and according to the internet, when it comes to sexual intercourse bigger may not always be better, now there’s some good news for you!

In yet another study, researchers interviewed 75 sexually active women asking what size of penis they would prefer for a one-night stand, apparently they preferred a 16.25cm/6.4″ erect penis and a mind blowing 12.7cm/5″ in girth, that’s circumference to you keep up, 5″ wow that’s BIG!! However women in long term relationships preferred a 16cm/6.3″ long penis with a girth of 12.2cm/4.8″, now in my opinion that’s still one big penis!

Yet another similar study of women’s preferences, published in BMC Women’s Health, found that penis girth was more important than length for sexual satisfaction, hmm interesting!

And what about people with big feet? Yeh that old wives tale. Well no evidence has been found linking penis size to foot size or ethnicity, so a no to that fake news, and like I said it is believed that a higher BMI and old age are weakly associated with a shorter erect penis……….. and note, there is some truth in the fact men who drive big cars have small dicks!

Btw if you are a guy reading this just for fun post and wish to measure your own length erection, get a rule then measure from the base where it connects to your pubic bone, right to the tip of your glans which is the bellend purple helmet, however don’t forget to subtract any additional length associated with foreskin, that’s cheating! As for girth, I measured the width of my shaft inserting the figure into a maths equation 3.14xD or 2×3.14xR.

Oh and I came across this gem observation,

‘Feeling inadequate can really damage a man’s self-confidence and affect his social life. It can lead to issues from being unable to using public urinals or shared shower rooms, to avoiding intimate relationships.’

Well personally speaking I have never ever looked at a man’s penis when inside public urinals, jeez can’t you get arrested for that? But being serious for a second I guess a worried teenager/young man could feel inadequate, leading to low-self esteem, affect his relationship with women but the good news is all this research tells us women aren’t to bothered by size anyway? Similarly research sadly appears to show anxiety about penis size may arise after taunts from other children during adolescence, or remarks from a sexual partner and I can imagine that level of bullying would hurt.

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(Left, a Greek statue)

And finally penises of course feature throughout art history and culture……. As we know from cave paintings and ancient sculpture man has always placed great importance on the size of his penis, with many cultures associating penis size with masculinity, what’s more throughout the ages, long penises had come to symbolise qualities such as virility, fertility, strength, ability and courage. Some cultures even went to extreme lengths to try to increase the size of their penis, and don’t imagine I already know these following two nuggets of trivia because I didn’t, apparently Indian mystics known as Sadhus had been known to stretch their penis from an early age by hanging weights on it, while the Topinama tribesmen of Brazil encouraged poisonous snakes to bite their penis to enlarge it.

Ouch!!

If you suffer from low self esteem here are a few tips to help with positive body image, incidentally lifted directly from one of those Medic websites and so very true.

‘If you’re unhappy with your body, whether it’s the size of your penis or the look of any other part of you, try these helpful tips for feeling better about yourself:
Focus on the characteristics and body parts you do like, such as broad shoulders or a nice smile.
Maintain a healthy weight and incorporate strength training into your exercise routine. If you look fit and healthy, you may feel better about yourself.
Don’t become consumed by penis size. You can be a satisfying sexual partner regardless of the size of your penis.
Don’t compare yourself to athletes, models, and actors. You’ll develop an unhealthy and unrealistic image of what is normal and how you should look.
Spend more time and energy on pursuits you find rewarding, whether it’s sports, hobbies, traveling, or other activities. Lasting self-esteem comes from nonphysical traits, such as creativity, intelligence, and your values.’

Wouldn’t you agree that’s sound advice for life in general?

So I guess if there’s any conclusions to be made, it appears plenty of men wonder if they are at or near the average penis size, when the actual truth is a majority of men are within a close range of the average length and girth………………… hmm do I have tooo much time on my hands?

Oh yes I nearly forgot to say my appendage erect is a good percentage above average length, yay! But alas I’m a percentage smaller on girth the figure women Really worry about 😉 , and no I’m not saying by how much! 😀 

So is an average length of 13.1cm/5.16″ a surprise to you?

©A. Shepherdson 2019

My brushes with Mortality?

And yes I’ve changed this week’s publishing dates but not to worry, however I’m still visiting a famous Victorian cemetery this Thursday.

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And NO 😀 this isn’t a sex post, ‘pussy’s’ or ‘kitty’s’ do NOT feature!

Now don’t go worrying yourselves on account of me, oh you mean you weren’t 😀 !!! No I haven’t recently cheated death and very much still alive thanks for caring, but I’m hoping my Post Title intrigues you?

The longer we live and the older we become, increases our chances of meeting our maker sooner than wished for or intended, yes contemplating ones own mortality is perhaps slightly macabre but I do find myself remembering back to ‘close-calls’ in my past, and often visions so crystal clear they’re all but photos in my mind, moments in time which I now appreciate were most definitely one of my nine lives lost!

(Tag this post late evening contemplation and NOT a wallowing in nostalgia for shock effect.)

There was the day I fell from a tall rock whilst on a Geography Field Trip as a teenage schoolboy, looking back I now realise I fell an awful long way but lucky for me Devonshire’s Bodmin moorland was spongy wet having soaked up a great deal of rain! I work alongside a disabled work colleague and I’m certain that fateful day was my own ‘there but for the grace of God’ moment, my lucky day not to be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of my life. The older I become, the closer to the end than beginning I’ll be and I’m more convinced than ever that life is little more than luck and chance. Do I believe in a preordained life’s journey mapped out by an all seeing, all knowing God? Jeez talking of Gods is a WHOLE different blog subject.

In the words of a famous British surgeon, “hug and kiss your family before they leave home in the morning and hug and kiss them before they go to bed at night.”

Anyways returning to my second brush with mortality.

There was the car accident I was involved in as a twenty-two year old man when one pitch black evening, driving a rain soaked road I turned a bend in the dual carriageway only to be faced by a line of stationary traffic halted by red traffic lights.

(((SMASH)))

As I ploughed into the rear of an ‘Austin Montego’ but lucky for me everyone and anyone close by, I’d managed to decelerate to ten miles an hour? I’m unsure how fast I was travelling when I hit, but it’s true what they say my split second traffic accident happened in slow motion, why is that? A fear coping message from the brain warning a human being to be braced for imminent danger ahead?

(Everyone says accidents happen in slow motion, so it just has to be primitive man’s trigger signal for FEAR!!!)

I was both lucky and unlucky, lucky I avoided serious injury, perhaps unlucky that the sharp jolt to my neck, a whiplash of my spine perhaps causing an epileptic seizure months later, perhaps a mere coincidence or resultant brain injury.

Either way that was the second of my nine lives used up.

So that’s two close calls that have sharpened my mind tonight and moments I’ll most probably remember till the day I die, and without sifting my tired late evening brain still further, I’m sure there’ll be other close calls……………. only a shame I cannot remember being near suffocated to death with a knicker-less vagina sat on my face and me unable to breath, now if one’s time is up I can think of worse ways to die! 

Alas not 😦 though I have a facesitting tale to tell.

Joking apart I have one overriding memory of one particular day where I know for certain I came close to dying, as an age twenty-nine year old man holidaying in the Greek Islands I suffered an epileptic seizure whilst swimming in the sea, and quite by luck and chance I recognised trigger warning signals secreted into my mind’s consciousness, dragged myself from the cold Mediterranean sea only to fall onto my back on the shorelines and experience a seizure laying in two inches of seawater.

Again I can recall this frantically panicked memory as if I was staring at photos clasped in my hand, I remember the bright sun in the sky, I remember being at all times lucidly conscious but most of all I remember cold seawater lapping around my two cheeks and thinking ‘if water enters my mouth then it’s all over!’ If I’d heeded the trigger warning seconds later, if I’d stumbled on sharp stones as I pulled my body to the shoreline I would have fallen in four inches water instead of two, and being as there was no persons close by I could have……………. well………….. you know………… died all because of a wasted two seconds.

Young children are totally oblivious to danger yes they live without fears or seeing danger, but it’s only as adults that we realise tragic accidents can and do happen at the most unsuspecting of times, and thinking back over my life I think my Grandmother was most attuned at spotting possible dangers her Grandchildren were close to, I sensed her caring worry many times and it’s only later in life that I realised one tragic past event possibly altered her perception of what’s dangerous forever.

Mind you her constant nannying near drove me exasperatingly bonkers, but now I understand why, my age gifts me a wisdom carefree children just have no comprehension of UNTIL experiences have taught them to carefully assess a situation of all possible risks!

(If you never fall how will you ever learn falling hurts? With the moral being don’t play a game of chicken in the path of a train!)

So yes I’ve had close calls and been both lucky and unlucky in life but I’ll often remember back to my seizure in Greek seas as the closest I’ve come to dying, I’m NOT being macabre for effect, I don’t think it hurts to occasionally stop and contemplate mortality if only for a second.

I’d guess you’ve experienced moments in your own lives that were a little tooo close for comfort!!!

 

©A. Shepherdson 2019

 

Dana the Romanian masseuse (NSFW)

I didn’t finish my intended Friday’s post, so instead I’m going to reblog a (favourite) tale I first published September 2018…………. however before I begin you’ll need to be reminded what a Happy Ending is, it helps my narrative (also brings to a close my Topic for the week, some may say “thank goodness”).

Urban Dictionary defines ‘Happy Ending’ thus: ‘When a masseuse feels inclined to finish your session with oral sex or manual release’…………… and forget the word inclined that’s what I paid her to do! 

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Fictional or non fictional this is a favourite story.

One blustery autumn afternoon in late September, a few months ago now! You’d have found me laying naked on my back, not a stitch of clothing on my body, my legs wide apart and a Romanian lady by the name of ‘Dana’ kneeling before me, a truly beautiful gorgeous lady gazing down upon me, a delicious wicked smile across her face oh and the reddest glossiest lipstick you ever did see.

“Do you enjoy giving gentleman hand relief?” I enquired,

And when you ‘come’ to think of it massaging a male client’s back muscles with dextrous skilful fingertips, finishing the massage with one hand gently curled around his erection and gently rolling his testicles between thumb and finger with the other, has to be one of the strangest occupations ever!

“Yes I do honey”,

Dana answered with a wicked grin, her lubricated right hand rhythmically stroking my love length and circling my purple helmet with warming palms, the joyous tingles and pleasurable sensations coursing from the tip of my penis down to my groin are near indescribable………… only men understand how gorgeous and beautiful those stimulated nerve endings alter his mind, his breath quickens, his hardness bucks and pulses as he draws ever closer to climax.

I once gleaned from secretive Dana where she’d learnt her gift for massage with an erotic twist from? She said after arriving in Britain as an economic migrant, earning money to pay for a deposit on land back in her native Romanian village, she first stayed with a friend in Birmingham but had no job, no income! Then one day her flatmate suggest they both rent a bedroom, advertise ‘certain services’ on an adult website, both working giving intimate Swedish massages…………. massage ‘services’ you’ll not find on your average Town’s High Street.

Well fast forward her tale several years and Dana rented a bottom floor box bedroom within a back street terraced house in a part of Oxford, a place where you’ll not leave your car unattended………….. put it this way if you did, your car wouldn’t be there when you returned!!!

I’d better shorten my winding complicated tale because you all lead busy lives, just understand whilst surfing the net one evening I happened across this LEGAL adult website giving intimate massages, phoned the mobile number hoping I was speaking to the lady in the photographs and well I became her 4 o’clock afternoon appointment that same day.

You’ll all know by now I’m an honest guy, well the website is legal, the ladies are over age 18 and working independently of their own accord and incidentally Dana stresses she gives no sexual services………… which means neither penetration or felatio……… shame really because as I gazed into her eyes I didn’t half fancy a blowjob!

Well I travelled by bus to Oxford, found my way to the given name of the street, texted her for the house number at 3.55pm, then upon reaching the address told her my name through the intercom beside the front door. A buzzing sound came from said door lock and there standing in the hallway was one of the most beautiful young ladies I have ever seen in my life, slim gorgeous with a beautiful smile and warm becoming blue eyes.

I introduced myself and yes she was even more beautiful than her photos suggested, then followed her through one of the many doors into a dimly lit warm and cosy bedroom………..virtually absent of furniture other than a single bed with duvet, centrally heated, carpeted, very clean and extremely tasteful.

I handed Dana the advertised price and then stood there near speechless looking like a complete and utter lemon wondering what to do next? Until she said,

“Well take your clothes off!”

“All of them?” I rather lamely answered she must have though ‘Jesus I’ve a right one here!’

“Yes all of them honey” she said laughing now, “then take a shower” glancing past me toward an even SMALLER side room (wardrobe) no bigger than a shower cubicle………… err that’s what the cupboard was!

So, and writing here and now this anecdote still makes me laugh, Dana stood there in her fishnet stockings, latex high waisted tight fitting hot pants (no knickers hold that thought!) also a black bralette revealing two of the most exquisitely shaped high round breasts you ever did see, I’m still smiling because this lady I’d known for sixty seconds stood but a metre close to me inside this tiny bedroom, and I near felt her burning gaze as I slipped down my boxer shorts, I glanced up and yes she was appraising my ‘bits and pieces’ ………… now just be aware I’m a clean bunny who was freshly showered wearing clean underwear, but as instructed I took a shower after being handed a fluffy soft towel.

(Why are Hotel towels always white?)

I ought to admit at this point I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Dana one time several years ago, she gave me a finger in the ass prostate tickle but as the days past afterward, I decided the service wasn’t for me…………… yes one for the bucket list but I didn’t enjoy it!

Well now I’m laying naked on her bed face down, a clean towel spread lengthways along the spongy quilt, arms down by my side then Dana places herself sitting on the tops of my legs, her two thighs either side my own and truth be told in a VERY firm vice like grip. Both Dana and I now comfortable I hear her squirt massaging oils into one hand from a bottle, then she began to push her hands deep into the small of my back, gliding them along my spine around my shoulders and all I can say is if you’ve never experienced warm skilful fingers work their magic on tired tight muscles, especially around the shoulders, if you haven’t then omg you haven’t lived! I will add Dana finger’s kneaded pushed and pulled tense muscles but not to worry she brought a true tingling warmth into my skin…………. btw I felt fabulous afterward!

And all the while we chatted about BREXIT, yes you did read right, she’s a working migrant from Romania! I talked about my family, we discussed Oxford architecture and I soon discovered Dana was witty personable friendly qualities you ascertain within minutes of meeting someone new, Dana is an intelligent young lady, then after 15 glorious minutes had passed rather abruptly she said,

“Now turn over!” Having first moved to one side, followed by a firmly spoken, “spread your legs wide!”

“Wider!!”

Dutifully I ‘widened’ presenting my bits and pieces in what was a rather precarious position, with Dana finally sitting her bum on her thighs kneeling close between them, and omg you just have to know this goddess of a lady was so beautiful with the prettiest sweetest smile you ever did see……………. and a wicked gleam in her eyes! Like I said she enjoyed jerking men off, maybe the thrill for her was being in control and dominating a man, or perhaps giving hand relief is just a fun way to pay the gas bill? Either way it’s times like these that I’ve never felt more alive.

Dana now wearing a pair of delicate latex gloves from a box, slips them on, cups my testicle sack with the palm of her left hand and curls lubricated fingers around the shaft of my penis with the other, oh and I forgot to add I’ve rarely been so hard erect and engorged before. I’d guess staring at her gorgeous boobs and plunging cleavage was the reason for that…….. oh as for knowing she wore no knickers! Well put it this way slightly parted thighs and tightly fitting hotpants revealed all!!

I should say at this point do I really need to graphically explain the process of hand relief? Men of course understand the ‘process’ and I’d guess all women have serviced a partner, anyways all I will add is Dana possessed a skilful technique she described as luxurious (it was!) Well she worked her dextrous magic, my penis bucking as I’m brought to climax then bingo she directs a stream of warm semen across my stomach……………. any men reading appreciate the joyous heavenly pleasure.

(And with boobs as exquisite as those two you’ll appreciate I even impressed myself!)

So there you are the Swedish massage with intimate ‘happy ending’, and for any ladies reading all I can say is if you’re in search of a well paid fun occupation, you could do worse than train as a masseuse…………….. oh and I forgot to say Dana’s Birmingham flatmate gave her the confidence and now she gives ‘happy endings’ for a living!!!

©A. Shepherdson 2018

Boutique Mannequins modelling underwear (Thursday)

(My apologies for not publishing my NSFW post yesterday, I went out for a lovely meal with three retirees I used to work with so I’ll post another time.)

Thursday 14th of February and of course Valentine’s Day, so if you’ve been following this week’s daily postings you’ll be aware the topic that weaves them all together (well hopefully) is women’s lingerie, jeeze even surprises me how my overactive imagination works sometimes. All good fun 🙂 .

Ok I know I’m a bit odd, stop nodding you’re not supposed to agree! And YES I did take those photographs above earlier this week, “why so Andrew?” Well today I’m asking myself, could a guy be prosecuted for indecent assault, you know if he was to ‘touch up’ a Department Store clothing mannequin when ‘she’s’ wearing sexy underwear? 

No I didn’t but I can’t say I wasn’t tempted!

All this past week after alighting from my commuter bus in the centre of Oxford, I pass these three on the way to work, but because our early mornings are still dark dazzling halogen spotlights almost bring them alive, in fact on the first morning they caught my eye and I had to do a ‘double-take’ they are that realistic……………. I should add being as it’s nearly Valentines Day there are many more displays similar to this, AND what’s with ALL these plastic models being six feet tall, slender and size 8 figures, what’s wrong with size 14 women gifted with child bearing hips and 34DD busts?

Good question no?

So begs the question, in the minds of the window dressers who are they actually trying to appeal to? Is it men so as they’ll buy sweet nothings for their significant other? Or women so that they can wear something sexy to excite and turn their man on? Not forgetting those confused women in lesbian relationships…………… no NO when I say confused I mean they’re both buying for both themselves also their partners……….. phew that was close! And I dare not mention we have skirt wearing Transsexuals at my place of work.

(I’m saying absolutely nothing, be true unto yourself that’s what I say)

So now I’m wondering can a sexy lingerie wearing shop mannequin ever be considered indecent? I’m absolutely convinced many Muslim men will find those three ‘women’ pictured above offensive, recently London Underground had to remove posters of models wearing brassieres because questions had been asked, I’d guess there’d been a social media sh#t storm or women’s Groups had asked why women’s bodies were being sexually objectified?…………. Jeez goodness knows what feminists would make of some of the posts on this blog.

However readers should be aware by now I adore women and am also a feminist, heavens we even have female engineering apprentices at work and why not, the days of girls only doing sewing and cookery at school and boys doing metalwork are long gone, and as it should be. Being serious for a second, and note I have addressed this topic before, #MeToo has changed Britain for the better because I’ve noticed men take a great deal more care with their language opinions and banter when around women.

Where was I? Oh yes me earlier today standing in the entrance to Debenhams department store taking photographs, I double checked to see no one was watching but no doubt I was being watched by their CCTV cameras, and I’ve just had a thought that’ll be twice now! (long story) So no I didn’t touch these three tasty plastic models up but they didn’t half look sexy, I guess that answer’s my earlier question doesn’t it, that women’s lingerie is purchased for their partner’s enjoyment…………… yes?

Discuss 😀 .

Before I leave you, this’ll be the first Valentine’s Day in 58 years that my dad hasn’t purchased a loving card for my mum 😦 . Isn’t memory robbing dementia is a wicked medical condition, I doubt he has any comprehension of what being married actually means? I’d guess in his own little world mum is now just a person who is always around the house at his ‘beck and call’, all terribly sad.

Anyways just so as to redress any perceived sexist imbalance, there’s not this is just for fun, but if anyone is unhappy here’s a photo whether you be straight or gay.

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Now I’m not gay but he is pretty fit!!!

Happy Valentine’s Day.

 

A. Shepherdson 2019

“Holy crap I’m on the bra and knickers Floor!” (True story Tuesday)

You should know me by now! I’m a fascinated observer of the female human mamal, anything wrong in that?

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So with this week’s blog topic in mind, daily posts themed around women’s lingerie, I’m going to raise the tone of this ‘blog’ and write a post about yes women’s underwear, a tale prompted by mistakenly finding myself on ‘Marks and Spencer’s’ floor devoted to women’s undergarments…….. if you’ve never heard of M&S all you need to understand is 70% of women buy their underwear here, with Oxford’s Branch having half a floor devoted solely to this most Holy of intimate garment, seriously a cavernous expanse of delicate lingerie hanging in aisles interspersed by the occasional size 8 mannequin, dolled up in err……….. well use your imagination please!

Whatever the age M&S is Britain’s go to knicker store.

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And yes that is ‘Camilla Windsor’ being shown around M&S’s lingerie department!

When one descends the escalator within Oxford’s Debenhams department store, from top floor down to level number three, a traveller aboard this slow travelling walkway will invariably pass by ladies with a thoughtful expression etched across their brow and holding up some delicate garment of lingerie to the light. She’s of course deeply concentrated wondering whether this bra or pair knickers will look good on her figure, does she like the colour and of course most importantly of all whether purchasing is worth the asking price? Perhaps contemplating trying it on before going home and buying it a third off from Amazon? 

Yes? No? Please don’t answer………… and do people do this? I mean use a store only to test goods out? I hope not, I’m now very conscious of trying to buy what I need on the High Street or Mall, because  disappearing Town centres are often the heart of a community and they do provide jobs.

As an aside, Jeff Bezos Amazon has a one trillion dollar turnover, to me that stinks of a great many City centre shops having to close and many many thousand of workers having lost their jobs, PLUS he pays very little tax instead funnelling British online purchases through offices in Luxembourg…………. frigging hell man, at least pay the taxes you owe!!

Where was I before sidestepping into an angry rant, oh yes women purchasing their underwear! Actually if I wasn’t a skilled engineer I’d like to work in a lingerie department just to stand and watch these err sexy goings on, in fact I’d work for free!! Just imagine handling these pretty pieces of cloth ALL day long, mind you I’d stop at any ideas of helping out in the bra fitting rooms, sorry but that’s just plain creepy!

Jeez my train of consciousness even takes me back sometimes!

Where was I? Riding escalators observing women buy their underwear, and no I don’t return straight up to the top floor so as I can watch these ladies on the return journey down again, jeeze that would be just plain creepy (again) hmm would be fun though, even pressing that emergency red button that stops accidents from happening, err hasn’t 😀 ever crossed my mind!

However walking through Marks and Spencer’s first floor lingerie department in Oxford UK, is a WHOLE lot more emotionally nerve-racking, truly, at this point you may be perhaps thinking ‘A. Shepherdson pray why are you looking at women’s underwear?’ No NO I don’t wear lingerie, no if you need to return an item purchased, in order to reach ‘Returns Exchanges and Refunds’ situated at the rear of Floor 1, you have to walk through yes this gigantic expanse full of women’s underwear, rows and rows of it! Slightly disconcerting actually brushing past lacy pink twinsets, a sight captured by the corner of my eye because I’m not looking.

M&S’s underwear department used to be on the ground floor, to be more exact in front of the entrance to the food hall, then one time I had to take an unwanted item back, made for Returns on first floor, and there facing me is a retail cathedral space dedicated to just lingerie, I actually froze my feet unable to walk! They’d gone and redesigned the interior of the shop hadn’t they! In a state of near panic I walked up to a young lady dressed in black with her back to me, reaching to hang up a garment or take it down and asked her,

“Excuse me Miss, can you tell me where the Return’s counter is?”

This brunette young woman turned around, as startled as I was and no older than sixteen, well I ask you how was I to know this tall girl was a mere teenager? Jeez we all make honest mistakes, well her cheeks blushed and she nervously answered,

“Sorry I don’t work here”, and then her eyes quickly darted sideways to look at someone now standing beside me, I also turned to this person now stalking its prey, ME a single guy speaking with her daughter, and who did I see? Yes a middle aged woman and by the look of her quite obviously the young girl’s mother, well you can tell can’t you! The mother slightly taken aback then burst out laughing before saying,

“She doesn’t work for Marks and Spencer’s” and btw now smiling,

So I quickly replied “Oh no! Sorry I mistook her for a salesperson?” The mother laughed again saying “no worries” and I quickly turned and made for an exit, talk about embarrassing! Anyways I returned to the Store hours later, asked an actual member of staff this time for directions, and yes they’d moved Returns to way behind those racks of hanging underwear.

Yes a misunderstanding all around, omg I’m closer to the end than the beginning, my heart cannot take mild shocks like it use to!

Hmm amuses me still how nervous I get walking through a ladies underwear department, do all men feel this way? I guess subconsciously I’ll think back to the women I’ve undressed or watched undress, and yes like I said earlier while in Debenhams, I am amused watching women perusing selecting touching and holding towards bright fluorescent lights their soon to be purchased delicates! 

Anyways not to worry they both had a laugh at my expense, the mother seemed to think the mistaken identity absolutely hilarious? And I can imagine the daughter saying later “Do I look like I’m dressed as a shop worker for heaven’s sake?” But jeez you do have to be careful asking customers questions inside underwear departments, don’t you? Or are we men becoming slightly paranoid #MeToo fallout and all.

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Now I’m aware Superman wears his shorts on the outside but do women wear knickers on top of a pair of leggings? Or were they dressed by a guy 😀 !!

(I’ve thought about this seemingly inconsequential tale many times, a completely absurd scenario but what always confuses me is why this mother burst out into uncontrollable laughter? Perhaps I looked more startled than I ever assumed, or is the reason little more complicated than a ‘mummy bear looking out for her offspring bear cub? Funny old day.) 

©A. Shepherdson 2019 (with Googled photographs not my own)

 

 

 

 

150 posts published and a Challenge for you?

I’ve never set a Challenge before, but perhaps my Q’s could prompt a response.

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Our Lucy, perhaps one day I’ll be in a position to buy my own border collie pup

Yes 150 posts down and pretty near to my starting day March 10th 2018, I’ve been hanging around this internet backwater for eleven months now. So this evening I’m going to break a rule and write a blog about blogging, a rule? Yes I remember reading this just isn’t the done thing so I’ve adapted it to a Challenge.

A. Shepherdson’s 10 ‘blogging’ Questions.

1. My favourite blogs to read?

That would be unfair to divulge, all I will say is and honestly this has happened solely by chance, I err appear to only follow middle aged female writers! I know strange or what, I’d guess I’m subconsciously attempting to understand how a woman’s mind works?

2. Has writing been mentally good for you?

Most certainly yes, writing for me is a challenge I’ve suffered from depression and the process makes me feel good, btw many drafts are binned during that process, I understand I’m amongst far more talented writers than myself, many of my posts begin short and invariably finish 1000 words long 😦 , but I enjoy the challenge also the near orgasmic satisfaction as I strike that pink button in the top right hand corner which always used to be blue? 

3. What do you enjoy about WordPress? 

The freedom to write about whatever I wish, captures my imagination, or would hopefully be interesting to a reader and every post is original and written by myself, ok I steal borrow many photos from the internet, but I don’t make money here so I’d say ‘borrowing’ is ok? Perhaps not, but it WOULD be wrong if money changed hands which never will.

Following bloggers who’s writing speaks to me, touches me or is just plain right entertaining and of course perhaps most of all I enjoy interacting with other writers, some of which you get to know ‘blogging well’ through commenting and replying, that’s why we’re here isn’t it? To interact, write responses and take part in challenges, what’s the point ‘publishing’ something then clearing off to do something else.

4. Is there anything you dislike about WordPress? 

Easy, bloggers who make a point of stating they do not read blog post on WordPress period! Now I guess there’s no harm in that, but that distain seems so rude, well my answer to you lol is I’m not reading what YOU have to say, oh and not forgetting bloggers who don’t to reply to readers comments, seems very odd?………. Ok I’m being a little precious this evening but not to worry. 

5. Most bizarre blogging moment

This is again possibly easier to explain than you’d first imagine. Many many months ago I met with a WordPress Blogger in person, all above board with personal lol safety precautions in place 😀 and an interesting enjoyable experience meeting the lady was to!

This answer to number 5 is a post within itself, so briefly cutting a long story short we got chatting as you do both commenting and replying to each other’s blog posts, decided to go the step further and actually meet, so one summer’s afternoon I travelled to her home Town by Train, the lady met me at the Station greeting me with a big hug, and yes she was a ‘naughty story’ blogger and her figure was as buxom as I’d been truthfully led to believe.

We spent a lovely day together, both single mature adults we got on famously and hardly stopped chatting all day, quite early one she texted a friend to say ‘don’t worry Andrew’s ok and everything was fine’, we purchased food, she drove us to a beautiful secluded spot in the countryside and we shared a picnic together, the two of us sat in a field alongside a canal with boats sailing past.

So there you are I guess there’s little more bizarre than Actually meeting with a serious writer you’ve met on the internet? And NO nothing untoward or naughty happened whatsoever………….. our day finished later that same afternoon when she drove me to the station, we hugged tightly on the platform kissed (she was lovely) said goodbye and well that’s my true story.

6. Where does blogging go to next?

I guess the worst that could happen to WordPress is if Governments across the Globe limited what content can be viewed in their Country or vice versa! I know the EU are currently dabbling in planned censorship but that has more to do with copyright infringement, I guess Legislation could force WordPress into censorship in much the same way Laws are beginning to limit the way Facebook operates, I hope not because WordPress is frequented by serious writers and well-balanced intelligent adults who are doing little worse than sharing their thoughts on-line. I could envisage in the future a time of more censorship and an end to sex blogs, that would be a shame but then again children can access WordPress, and for fear of labouring a point I very much doubt children are reading blogs because, well do children actually read anymore?

Yes WordPress will evolve and change, but I’d guess they’ll be well aware any whiff of censorship would ‘kill their Golden Goose’.

7. When will you finish?

Now through the process of reading other people’s blogs I know this is a question often on people’s minds, how long I’ll be here I have no idea? I guess two answers will be when I’m no longer enjoying myself and when readers cease liking viewing and commenting, oh and when I run dry of ideas! Yes I think I’ll stop if I’m aware people are bored or no longer read. Remember I write for myself but come on if we’re all honest we enjoy entertaining and making people smile…………… 😀 perhaps we’re the equivalent to nineteenth century circus performing monkey’s.

8. Would you like to be more popular?

I guess the honest answer is yes, but I do have a sense many people write here then link to their Twitter feed also Facebook circle of friends, I haven’t a Twitter and never will be ‘On Facebook’ consequently I’ll never be haha famous, so my honest answer is if something I’ve created makes a reader smile or think yes ‘he makes a point’ :/ , then honestly who can ask for more?

9. What has been your most popular post also why?

This question fascinates me, why are some posts more popular than others, and interrogating my viewing numbers also Countries who watch me, I have a sense my countryside photo posts are popular in places like India? And never ceases to surprise me a post I thought absolutely fantastic didn’t do so well in likes and views, yet a post I thought perhaps uninteresting actually did appear to be popular…….. I guess the saying ‘you pays your money and makes your choice’ applies.

The most popular? My tale themed Beautiful Helen from across the road a sexy story which is my number 1, possibly because the photo looks down a woman’s cleavage………….. only a thought but sex does sell.

10. Number 10?

You cannot have 9 questions to a list can you? There just has to be 10 or it looks odd! Hmm so let me think for a second, something out the ordinary, ok yes how’s about, ‘would you ever contemplate writing a sex blog?’ (Btw I’m NOT saying write one!!!)

Perhaps write your own (short) answers and link to this post? If not I hope you enjoyed my answers.

©A. Shepherdson 2019

Panic buying in Tesco’s!

(Btw Tesco’s is Britain’s leading budget Supermarket)

Yes as you can see by the photos below snow is falling in Oxfordshire, half past twelve last night I stood in the front door of my home (not outside cause I’d freeze wouldn’t I!) Photographing these four wintry suburban scenes, and I have to say the tablet captured those swirling snow flurries quite impressively?

Panic buying it happens every year and I don’t understand why? I guess human beings deep down are emotionally insecure and most definitely selfish animals, we worry and panic don’t we at the ever-so slightest hint of a disaster, people are even beginning to hoard food because of the prospect of a no deal Brexit for heaven’s sake, hmm :/ perhaps storing some tinned soup might not be a bad idea? Just in-case, saves starving in March.

That’s enough Brexit chat!

Where was I? Oh yes panic buying food from my Tesco’s around the corner, earlier this morning I ventured out into our -30 raging blizzard, that’s a lie it was 2 degrees and the snow was already thawing, walked the short way to the store only to see people streaming out the entrance pushing ‘trolley’s’ laden down with fruit veg and loaves of bread, wtf, what drives people to act this way? The snow will have cleared by Saturday and delivery lorries will be restocking the shelves by Sunday…………… I guess the answer is being prepared is both rational and irrational thinking in equal shares.

But being serious for a second panic buying is possibly on a lot of people’s minds at present, and most definitely Mrs May’s Government will be aware if food runs short, or out completely, they’ll almost definitely be rationing and possibly civil unrest! History teaches us in the midst of crisis ‘spivs’ (entrepreneurial human beings) will see this as an opportunity to make money, remember those wartime shady characters fuelling a thriving black market……………….. ok perhaps I’m being a little overdramatic for literary effect but major grocers warned this week of food shortages, finger’s crossed it never gets to this.

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A winter’s scene
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Swirling snowflakes captured beneath orange ‘housing estate’ lamplight
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I had to crop this one else you’ll be able to read the street sign and Google me. 😀 You may well laugh lol!

….…………… and below pictures taken this morning looking out my back kitchen door, THREE FRIGGING WHEELIE BINS for heavens sake! Not forgetting waste food caddies and black plastic boxes for glassware, my garden is little more than postage size refuge dump……….. ok I’m only joking, the food waste powers electricity making equipment, garden plants branches and organic cuttings are sent to be converted into compost, and anything else of use is recycled…………… at least human beings are being held accountable for the sheer quantity of household waste going into landfill!

Oh and the steel metal drum with a ‘donut ring’ shaped layer of snow on top is of course my upcycled washing machine ‘Firepit’…………. which I’ve still yet to use.

As for me I’ve taken a day off work and won’t be venturing out again. Stay safe 🙂 .

©A. Shepherdson 2019

A response post

Response to lauraoettigerbooks and anyone else with a passing interest in astronomy 🙂 .

Above you see my Skywatcher telescope and our Moon photographed by positioning my Fuji camera (purchased from eBay) above the eyepiece lens…………….. not ideal hence this digital picture is slightly blurred.

Not to worry.

Looking this evening at your blog photographs of Venus Jupiter and our Moon, I’m reminded I never asked if you have a telescope of your own? Then again that awesome camera lens of yours takes such fabulous photos perhaps you don’t need one 🙂 .

Anyways, the reason behind this brief response to your photo themed website is to say with a moderately priced refracting telescope, similar to my own pictured above, point at planet Jupiter and you will clearly make out the four Moons orbiting, however better still you’ll clearly observe the many surface bands encircling the planet itself!!! Blew me away the first time I saw it.

The drawback of refracting telescopes is of course they aren’t really suitable for deep space viewing, but I’m not too concerned perhaps one day when I’ve the money? Very briefly the reason refractors aren’t suitable for deep space viewing, is simply because cassegrain’s allow more light into the instrument, refractors are limited by the diameter of that first optic lens………………. larger the lens the more expensive the telescope 😦 .

Technical bit over!  

Anyways seeing as you’re interested in observing our Moon I thought I’d write a post rather than comment. Personally speaking I never tire of gazing at the Moon, yes I’d agree some people my feel deflated after buying a telescope seeing that you can only really look at the Moon in close up, also beautiful Jupiter, the white dot that is Venus, Saturn if you’re lucky and of cause orange Mars (lol again only a small dot) but that’s never worried me unduly, no the Moon never disappoints because the gazing experience is also emotional, men and women gaze in wonderment just because amongst the hustle and bustle of Earth life, looking at the Moon reminds us we are not alone in the Universe?

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Zoom eyepiece which I’m yet to use……………. :/ hope it’s ok.

A. Shepherdson 2019 

Washing machine Review & ‘firepit’ saga (pt3/5)

Two Post today! But first an Update and a Review.

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My new washing Machine

Amazing how the absence of a camera lens (above) distorts photos taken by a tablet, I think I’ll stick with my £8 Fuji eBay purchase in future.

For those readers unfamiliar with my unforeseen washing machine saga series, I began by intending to show you how to replace a rubber seal on my 19 year old Bosch, I changed the part but the appliance never worked again? And the reason why wasn’t even my fault………. read here if you need to but lol I wouldn’t bother 😀 .

So I’ve given up any dreams of becoming an electrical appliance maintenance engineer, and instead decided to upcycle/convert the old washing machine drum into a fire pit/garden incinerator or better still BBQ, and please do read that post here. (Helps for later)

However before I write a ‘How To’ guide for making a drum firepit (remember upcycling means taking a defunct product and converting it into something usable) I thought I’d share a brief review of my new machine pictured above ABSENT OF AN ACCOMPANING YOUTUBE VIDEO!

(As an aside, WordPress is a haven for expressing yourself through the written word, so perhaps I shouldn’t post tooo many of my own YouTube videos here? Not to worry my ‘Blog’ features less than 1% video media.)

Now to my first product review, by that I mean a buyers first thoughts.

Where was I? Oh yes my review of something purchased, one day I’ll learn the art of keeping my thought processes on track!

As I’ve written before my previous Bosch washing machine lasted 19years, my Hotpoint Refrigerator finally died 18years ago and I’m writing not a jot about my Hotpoint Freezer for fear of tempting fate!!! Have I been lucky? I guess so yes, but don’t get me started with regurgitating my kitchen oven rant or I’ll be still here 1000 words later still spitting feathers.

I’d guess the maxim ‘you get what you pay for’ applies to everything in life, a Bosch appliance isn’t the cheapest to purchase however as we’re informed they’re built in Germany a Country that builds quality engineered products, alas unlike mine own which appears to manufacture very little these days but that’s a WHOLE different BREXIT story.

Early days! I’ve only used my new Bosch Vario Perfect Serie 4 for a handful of washes, but all’s well and good and machine operates as instructed, not forgetting of course a Bosch comes with a 2 year manufacturers warranty as standard 🙂

Finger’s crossed, I very much doubt it’ll last another 19years but who knows?

Two very pleasant gentlemen from ‘John Lewis’ (upmarket UK store) both delivered and fitted it two weeks ago, and I hadn’t realised washing machines no longer require hot water feeds, no the only two pipes that need connection are the cold water inlet feed and a drain pipe taking the ‘dirty water’ away. They installed the appliance giving me brief operating instructions before leaving and advising I begin with a 4hour 90 degrees wash cycle, that sounds frigging expensive!

90 degrees Celsius for heavens sake! (Does anyone wash at 90 degrees? Discuss)

The accompanying guide manual is a little daunting reading to begin with, phrases like Speed Eco Water, Heavy soiling, Plus/Rinse Plus/Wash and the like, but then again don’t they say Washing machines are designed by men? Select a cycle by turning the control dial and there are ten cycles to choose from cottons delicates etc, each option displays the spin cycle speed, beginning to end time also temperature as a pre-set and I guess you choose your favourite then stick with it for many years to come? Btw I didn’t know this, but the faster the spin the more creases that are put into the garments err wow? I’ll get the hang of it, oh and there are additional settings for short eco washes pre soaks etc but a couple of hours at 40 degrees has suited me fine for this past 20years.

A major improvement compared to my old Bosch machine is the spin cycle is a whole lot quieter than before, and of course if you never overload the drum in weight then you’ll never experience vibration problems applies, yes my Bosch quietly spins itself into a 1400 purring cycle and as I’ve hinted at finger’s crossed no problems yet.

So does anyone actually concern themselves worrying about garment crease levels? Or do you throw in 2 detergent tablets, close the door and wash at 40 degrees for a couple of hours every single time?

A. Shepherdson 2019

 

My own ‘Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse’…….. a Response!!!

If little else please watch the video at the end, ty.

This post is I suggest a Response to ‘Is Andrew (slightly) Racist’, here I point the finger of blame at 4 British Politicians, my own ‘Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse’ I hold RESPONSIBLE for our current Brexit mess, sorry Brexit tragic madness 😦 . Lol these last two Rants are why I avoid writing about politics………. how about a little ❤ sex next? Discuss 😀

‘British privately educated politicians! They exude a sneering veneer of authenticity, coupled with enormous privilege that is flaunted rather than hidden.’

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David Cameron, George Osborne, Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg

William Shakespeare once wrote ‘All the World is a Stage’, one of those many sayings that stick in the mind and the older I get the more I understand this great writer’s genius observation applies to us all, whether that be at work, or the school you send your children to, yes they are all Stages at your local Theatre the ones we are mere players in. There’ll be gossip and intrigue, heroes and villains not forgetting many a scheming Machiavellian stabbing in the back. Whether workplace, school or politics each one of us is acting out a part, it’s only the Stage and storyline that changes, so yes William Shakespeare’s genius pearl of wisdom never fails to give me pause for thought.

Enough talk of Brexit except hold on, only the other day I suddenly realised four Politicians names time and again reappear over this past three years, little different to reoffending suspects at a crime scene, if a Theatre Stage themed Brexit existed, then these four major player’s names will perform over and over and over again.

Like bad pennies four keep turning except one culprit, PM David Cameron dare not show his face in public, an odious showman, the chief architect of Brexit has disappeared leaving the whole sorry mess for other mortals to try and clean up…………. Cameron is a man President Obama was once over heard calling “a light weight” and I now understand where Obama was coming from……… a wise man indeed.

You may have guessed I dislike David Cameron mainly because he broke the most important rule in politics life namely, 

“You cannot play Politics with People’s jobs and services……..”, to quote the great speech given by Labour leader Neil Kinnock. 

Britain’s sorry tale began when David Cameron promised his Euro sceptic MPs a Referendum both expecting and hoping we the public would vote to Remain in Europe, back in 2016 we had the farcical sight of a Prime Minister campaigning for an issue he didn’t want or believe in yet a policy he set the wheels in motion, crazy madness, jeeze don’t you think that near criminal Leadership?…………. Yes Cameron played politics with peoples lives, he divided a nation who now loath each other, and now I have to live through this sorry mess for the next twenty five years……………… Brexit will be the defining political moment of my generation.

Oh yes returning to those four politicians I now like to call The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because they have many things in common, each is male white skinned middle aged and Conservative for one, all are privately educated privileged and arrogant, all Graduated from Oxford University, each one is as Right Wing as D. Trump and all four in some way architects of Britain’s Brexit mess. David Cameron and Chancellor Osborne came up with the idea to leave, whilst Boris Johnson the poster boy of the leave campaign and arch Eurosceptic Jacob Rees-Mogg urged us to vote Leave, and yet unbelievably incredibly Rees-Mogg is idealised by the out of work and poor, why?………. So very strange that those who have nothing worship men of wealth power and privilege who have everything.

Reminds me of those privately educated Generals and Field Marshalls who ordered millions of young men to their deaths in World War One, the famous saying ‘Lions led by (privately educated) Donkey’s’ never rings truer especially now.

So here are my ‘Four Horsemen’ pictured below wearing dinner jackets and top hats, faces of arrogant dull unintelligent men lifted from another Century, men in the top echelons of power solely because of the school and university they attended and what’s even worse, there are thousands like them in positions of power across Britain.

Cameron Rees-Mogg Osborne and Johnson went to Eton the same Public School that has provided Great Britain with 29 other Prime Ministers………… quite unbelievable that so many Leaders have come from one School, yet these four criminals have one further major failing, before entering politics none hadn’t worked a regular job in the real world, they’re all career politicians devoid of any talents where wealth affords below average men to play dangerous games with people’s lives.

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The Oxford University photo David Cameron (2) wished had never been taken, white, wealthy, privileged and arrogant young men sitting on the steps of The Bullingdon Club, ONLY made worse by the fact David Cameron was my Member for Parliament.
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Again Oxford University’s ‘Bullingdon Club’ except a different year. The privately educated old Etonian far left is George Osborne………….. Chancellor and chief architect of Brexit……. and what’s with the Bullingdon Club’ photos? They’re ALL looking in different directions?
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British Conservative politician Jacob Rees-Mogg MP, and God Help Us possibly a future Prime Minister!

Yet will David Cameron have the last laugh? Will migrants stop coming to Britain? Will European Laws no longer apply? Btw I’m not holding my breath on either of those last two!!! Hmm :/ are some decisions in life too important to allow uneducated people to vote upon?’ (And that includes me).

…………………… and finally if you’re curious as to seeing the best bit from ‘That Speech’, well I found it on YouTube and now regarded as ‘one’ of the most famous political Speeches of the last Century. Yes.

Please feel free to disagree with any of my ‘now not so private’ views.

©A. Shepherdson 2018

2019, WordPress and broken washing machines

Basically the lady’s pose below is all my Bosch washing machine could be useful for, BTW what an earth are they doing? Don’t answer!

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This might make a few of you laugh, I took the front of my washing machine off, fitted the new seal correctly which looks fantastic, refitted the front panel, pressed the ‘start button’ and sweet FA happens!!!! Tell a lie, I can hear an electrical buzzing sound emanating from the motor………….. now I’m not an electrician, but I’m wondering has pulling a 19 year old washing machine out from under the kitchen unit knocked a contact out or whatever?

To be completely serious I’m feeling pretty deflated, I didn’t damage any components putting it together, but as anyone will tell you electrical conundrums are the worst kind of problem.

Now to a question that’s been playing upon my mind, shall I’ll write for WordPress in 2019 or not? (But don’t get me wrong I’ve enjoyed 2018.) My only certainty as regards 2019 is frigging (I was going to swear) I know for sure all problems BREXIT will be on my mind every single hour of the day, this political mess near drains all life blood and energy out of me not forgetting a will to actually live if I’m being honest.

How do you remain positive when the world around you is crumbling to dust?

AS Graham Norton recently said “everyone now knows BREXIT was a bad idea”, I’ll go further and say half the Country are angry we haven’t left yet, the other half are angry because they never wished to leave in the first place, worse still economically I think Britain will be ruined. So yes the Sun will rise next morning, life will go on but BREXIT is a mess, and worse even still we have unintelligent averagely intelligent human beings (Politicians) totally incapable of solving the unsolvable, how many worst case scenarios are there before one gives up? 😦 .

So I ask you, I voted in a democratic Referendum and lost, shit happens, so do I abide by the will majority of the people who voted to leave? OR do I take to the Streets and demonstrate, throw rocks, burn cars and riot all in the name of injustice or against unfair legislation that I perceive as injustice? Or do I watch TV and do nothing? One thing’s for sure though, come next March we’ll get a bad deal BREXIT i.e. Europe will punishes us and people WILL die in Hospitals (the latter is a consequence….. Possibly.) But hold on, history teaches us good things are born from revolution, so perhaps I should throw a few ‘Cocktails?

Catch-22: a paradox in which the attempt to escape makes escape impossible.

So today begins a Virgin New Year, a new dawning for all you bloggers, so what of my WordPress in 2019? BREXIT will be the defining moment of my Generation so I really should write about food shortages and ‘ferry ship’ space currently being booked for the supply of medical drugs, or that military leave is being cancelled for March because of a fear of civil unrest. I should write about riots and Hospital mayhem shouldn’t I, the trouble is I don’t really wish to, writing Blogs about day-trips, cookery, early evening thoughts are MORE fun but does seem a little pointless aside this political mayhem, hmm a blogging Catch-22 to me or perhaps I’m muddling my paradoxes.

Anyways I could bore you all with more tales of BREXIT so I won’t and instead wish you all a very Happy New Year and I really DO mean that ❤ …………. Andrew is always honest.

Now I’ve got go on-line and buy a new washing machine!

A. Shepherdson 2019

FULL MOON – from my rear garden – 22/12/2018

This is my response to WordPress blogger author Laura (click here) and if you know me at all, I enjoy interacting with other bloggers 🙂 , all good fun!

“Here men from planet earth first set foot upon The moon. July 1969AD. We came in peace for all mankind” (Neil Armstrong)

Below you see a picture of the Moon I photographed yesterday evening, as you are all no doubt aware, December 22nd was the shortest day, and luckily for myself we in Oxford were gifted a wonderful bright Full Moon……………. if a little cloudy! Still to this day when I gaze up at the Moon I’m both emotionally and conceptually ‘blown away’ that man walked upon it’s surface………………. very near incredible but with my ❤ heart of hearts I believe!

So how did I capture this image? By holding my camera to the telescope eyepiece hence the peripheral black circular border……….. hmm I’m happy with it and definitely the ‘best of the rest 😀 .’ Incidentally the darker surface patches you see are named ‘seas’, as in Sea Of Tranquillity’ ‘Sea of Serenity’ ‘Sea Of Fertility’ etc.

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Full Moon December 22nd 2018, photograph taken by my eBay purchased digital camera looking directly through my telescope eyepiece. With-out Moon Filter (please feel free to copy if you wish).

Picture below reminds me I never painted my garden fence in 2018 😦 .

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My Skywatcher Refracting Optical Telescope pointing toward tonight’s Full Moon, picture taken from my back garden 22/12/2018
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Btw it’s neither raining or snowing, those white dots picked up by the camera are tiny dew droplets, the air was thick with mist and wispy clouds kept obscuring the Moon.
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Of all the photographs taken yesterday evening I think this is my favourite, a Moon Crater is clearly visible also a very much in focus edge to the Moon.
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Lens fitted with Moon Filter this time

Below more photos now see if you can spot the one’s taken without a fitted Moon Filter, and btw it’s not the length of your telescope that counts, the diameter of the first optic denotes the size of the celestial image.


And Finally, wonderful photographs taken by Apollo 11-17 astronauts standing upon the surface of the Moon. A little geeky information for you, Apollo astronauts had a fixed focus specially designed Hasselblad camera attached to their chest, to which 70mm film magazines were fitted each taking 165 frames, along with moon rocks the photos were the only objects to return and are now stored inside a refrigerated building in Texas. Several years ago the 70mm film was defrosted over 24 hours, rolled out and unfurled then digitally scanned. After wonderful scan shots had been taken they were rolled up again and back into freezer storage.

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Am I (slightly) Racist? Sometimes I don’t know how to answer

(A quick afterthought, I realised at the time of writing my post, selectively choosing passages from D. Trump speeches would be controversial, problematic! I dislike the man and for what it’s worth this isn’t a post about Trump, yes a mistake to selectively quote him but at worst I guess the photos are good ‘click bait’. Andrew)

Ok I understand if we’re discussing racism, a loss of National Identity then quoting D. Trump is a writer’s wet dream…………….. not that I have sexy dreams about Trump but you get the idea .

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Now for many British folk, transpose the word Mexico to Syria, and I have to admit Mr Trump’s spoken quotation rings a little true! Then again I am male, white, middle aged and working class……… a Right Wing disciple?
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Ok this quotation is just darn right bizarre! Trump ‘hates Blacks counting his money’ but he’s happy to have ‘Skullcap wearing Orthodox Jewish men’ (googled) count his filthy lucre? Like I said bizarre!

Crop2Does a multicultural Britain worry me? If I’m completely honest yes it does, when I look at my mother’s photographs taken of her as a child in the 1950’s, each and every face therein is white of European descent, so am I a racist? No! Am I a white supremacist? Most definitely NOT! However please read on.

I’m employed let us say as support staff within a ‘blank’ establishment blah blah blah, for the past nigh on 30 years I’ve worked alongside young people also ‘other’s’ more important than me (unproven lol) who originate from every Country under the Sun, Venezuela to South Korea, Sri Lanka to The United States, and if successful after 3 years and 9 Terms they all return home (lol work it out!)

So yes by any stretch of the imagination Britain has little resemblance to the post war white faced Britain of my Grandparents, we’ve become swamped by an influx of West Indians in the 60s, Indians and Pakistanis in the 70’s, 900,000 Poles post joining the EU up to and past the 2000s, and that’s not forgetting those illegals taking the train beneath The English Channel from the other 27 Nations, NOT forgetting more recently migrant refugees from Syria, so many migrants now live within London and most metropolitan cities the European population dissolved into the Counties.

Are you shocked? What if your Granddaughter cannot find a house to buy because 900,000 Poles have moved here, true or not immigration not Brexit is the reason Britain’s are angry.

So I ask myself does it really matter Britain’s evolved from a 95% white population in 1945 to well, every Nation under the Sun in 2018? On the one hand immigration is the reason Britain is in such a political mess and that’s a frigging understatement! For those of you reading from your homes abroad, I’m quite popular in India btw looking by my statistics I’m loving that. For those of you who are under the impression our Brexit debate has been about leaving Europe? I’m here to tell you it is NOT, Brexit’s about immigration full stop, then again I watch the News from across the Globe and migration is every Countries perceived overriding problem worry, whether the Turkish influx into Germany or the North Africans walking into France or D. Trump building his blessed Wall to keep South American’s out, Migration of human beings scares each and every one of us and I’m afraid if you disagree then I’d say lol you are lying? Or “Less than contrite with the truth” as Bill Clinton would say.

Discuss 🙂 .

(Hmm now I’ve upset someone! Did you know 9 months writing and I haven’t received a single hateful comment? I’d guess that’s because I’m neither a woman and perhaps not as talented a ‘writer’ as I sometimes like to think then again I’m happy here…………. the old adage be careful what you wish comes to mind.)

So am I a racist? A question I ask of myself at least every single hour, ok several times a day, today I saw a photo of an Asian gentleman standing at the corner of Hyde Park, Speaker’s Corner where under British Law one is legally allowed to say whatever he/she wishes to without fear of arrest (lol perhaps google that fact before visiting.) Returning to my perfectly decent Pakistani gentleman in the photo HE was displaying a banner saying ‘Sharia Law in Britain NOW!’ Knowing the scare stories that I do concerning Sharia Law, I’m saddened to imagine a Britain Governed under such mysterious Laws when our Centuries old ones legislate just fine………. well ok they’re lol less than adequate but you get the idea, they punishes wrongdoers and lock up the evil.

(My understanding of Sharia Law is that women are treated as second class citizens.)

Hmm so am I racist wishing for the good old utopian days of post war Britain and there lies my problem, I enjoy the company of being with people from across the Globe, especially the beautiful East European girl who serves me Costa Coffee at breaktime! But I do worry my National Identity is disappearing fast, I’m not a racist because I’m a nice guy people person, but the shear numbers who’ve migrated here, with their own beliefs and customs means I’m afraid to say, yes the British Identity of my youth is fast disappearing.

Now please hear me out 🙂 .

Several months ago I visited The Tower Of London, such an atmospheric historic place for those who wish to immerse themselves in 1000years of English History, I clearly remember walking up a stone staircase in one of the Towers and feeling the overwhelming sense I was following in the very same steps as Elizabeth I, possibly the only Monarch who captures my imagination, quite an emotional experience actually understanding without a shadow of any doubt way back in the 1600’s she climbed this staircase. I was ACTUALLY stepping through the ghosts of Henry VIII, Sir Walter Raleigh, Sir Thomas Moore all such evocative and important names in my Country’s history, THEY WERE WITH ME and my imagination quite ran away with me.

Why such pride and fascination? Simply because though the names of my ancestors are lost in the midst of time, technically I could trace my lineage back to those 1600s because they’re all English by birth, I ask you does your Country’s history mean anything to you? Again hours later I recall standing beside Tower Green, the place where Anne Boleyn lost her head, asking myself  “do those Syrian beggars standing outside upon Tower Hill where so many Traitors were beheaded, really give a s*** about My England?”

Hmm life moves on, as my Grandfather used to say “good or bad you cannot stop progress.” 

And please don’t get me started on English Literature, will Shakespeare, Hardy, Dickens, Len Deighton, whoever become authors names lost in time, perhaps it’s always been this way, in fifty years from now Grandmothers will be lamenting the long ago days of X Factor, saddened because a Grandchild won’t have a clue what she’s talking about.

(Hmm I’m 😀 just reminded, I’ve never read a Shakespeare Play in my entire life!!! Watched all the Hollywood movies though.)

Lol the British White Tribe are angry and if we leave Europe and Japanese car plants move abroad then we’re all screwed! Am I racist? No. But if losing my perceived National Identity beneath a sea of cultures happens then yes I guess I am, do I enjoy the Company of people from across the four corners of our Globe? Then that answer is an unequivocal yes.

A famous quotation for you.

“…………did an English Missionary living and working in China think himself English or Chinese? English of course, the British immigrant population are no different, their home is the Country they were born in………….”

So which famous Politician am I quoting there? Enoch Powell of course, to some a racist to others his Prophecies have come true. 

And finally.

Only the other day I was discharged from Hospital, cared for by lovely kind skilled nurses from Europe Asia Australia……… , lovely people all, so please if my silly little post has offended anyone I sincerely apologise…… the real joy of having a ‘WordPress’ is we can dissect complex political arguments without fear of censure, peace and love ❤ Andrew. 

©A. Shepherdson 2018

Memory problems…… what memory problems?

‘While mild forgetfulness can be a normal part of aging, it can also be a sign of more serious memory problems, such as amnestic mild cognitive impairment, dementia, or even Alzheimer’s disease.’ 

(U.S. Department of Health & Human Services.)

In all seriousness I sometimes worry if I’m losing my mind’s awareness of what’s going on around me, the conscious powers of my brain are starting to ‘tail-off?’, or can my forgetfulness be just another consequence of getting old………………. like one’s pubic ‘bush’ thinning out, so you’ve noticed to!!

Forgetfulness

I’m age 50! I’ll walk into a room knowing that I’m supposed to be looking for something but for the life of me I cannot remember what I was looking for, it happens all the time! A humorous line often said by many an aging adult, HOWEVER very true if more than a little worrying!

Last night before bedtime I walked into the bathroom and instantly saw an empty toothpaste tube on the shelf above the sink, it was empty that same morning when I told myself “I must buy a replacement”………… I didn’t, the consequence last night I had to cut the tube’s nozzle off and scrape out enough paste to brush my teeth, well at least I’m saving money and doing my bit to prolong the planet!

In all seriousness my moments of forgetfulness does sharpen the mind, more than a little disconcerting, my father now suffers from severe memory loss and I’ve written about caring for elderly parents before! We as a family first noticed his forgetfulness and blossoming deterioration about three years ago, it’s only in hindsight that you can pinpoint the beginnings of dementia and how bad it’s become, the process creeps up on you. First there’s the absent minded forgetfulness then several years later he stopped all engaging conversation, it’s heart-breaking to witness especially when I remember he was a University educated schoolteacher………………. dementia has zero regard for a human being’s intelligence.

Here and now doing a quick bit of mental arithmetic I have about 24years to reach the age at which dad began to fail, jeez an awful lot of life can happen in 24years and who knows I may not make it? As a consequence I’m not obsessed with panicked worry assuming Alzheimer’s is about to strike (and for once I’m NOT trying to be funny), HOWEVER I’m curious at what point does a person first realise his mind’s about to slip into dementia? Why don’t we hear mental health experts telling us how to diagnose the first signs of forgetfulness, a cruel wheeze dreamt up by God that will soon rob you of all thinking reasoning and knowledge of the world and people around you? Answer medics either cannot or don’t choose to, perhaps knowing beforehand is all to scary and I’ve heard said human beings brains are just not powerful enough to cope with modern day living, hence that’s WHY we forget! The reason for forgetfulness in an aging species?

I’m going to have ‘Has anyone seen my keys?’ Engraved upon my headstone.

Or on reflection maybe I haven’t done the relevant research then again perhaps it’s best not to know, one of the biggest mistakes in life you can make is Googling a medical symptom (we’ve all done it) BECAUSE the engine’s answers will be many varied and wrong.

So I guess I’ll carry on bathing in the shower trying to remember if I’d taken that herbal mint infused bag out of my tea mug? Btw this happened 25 minutes ago 😦 .

©A. Shepherdson 2018

Has #MeToo spoilt our Christmas Party?

Now please do not read tooo much into this post, I’m a little annoyed disappointed that’s all, and it’s not a rant because my WordPress is a drama free zone where I’ll hopefully share something anything entertaining, enjoy myself and share thoughts that are on my mind………… as with this post!! For obvious reasons I rarely speak about my place of work for one because they’ll bore you to tears and two because it’s well unsafe and possibly illegal to share detail, but hey I’m going to break my self imposed rule and share an email we’ve all received below………… just keep in mind ‘#MeToo fallout’ and read on.

hhhh
A screenshot of an email sent to all Staff

Let me expand my tale with some sketchy detail, my place of work every Christmas organises an ‘office Party’ to which only support staff are invited, if last year is any indication half of guests will be women of all ages, office workers who work in HR administration PA secretaries and a (lovely brunette) receptionist.

The other half consist of males of all ages who are employed as mechanical maintenance support staff, and generally throughout the 2018 working year both sexes got on just fine, with the odd minor incident as always happens when human beings rub along together.

Last year’s Christmas meal was incident free, groups of 8 sat around tables, conversation was slightly forced but ‘it was what it was’, a sociable meal……….. then after the free glass of bubbly had been consumed and the meal finished, the male support staff tended to congregate in groups close to the bar……….. and as I’d expect females sat in groups around tables I’d guess chatting about what women like to chat about, not forgetting a handful of younger women danced whilst a young DJ played music.

Now you’re probably thinking some calamity befell the occasion, someone drank too much and there was an incident laced with sexual impropriety, an event so grave the fallout has been discussed infinitum for the rest of 2018. But I’m sorry to disappoint, nothing happened except as the evening wore on conversation noise levels increased as the chatting groups became more animated as the alcoholic beverages took affect.

However alas there wasn’t to be any kissing under the mistletoe, no male drunken fumbling within a receptionist’s blouse (incidentally my wet dream) behind a Christmas Tree, nope as I said nothing untoward happened whatsoever, as I’d guess everyone had expected when they bought the ticket, a drama free evening perhaps because the type of institution I work in everyone is responsible and extremely intelligent, and probably exactly the same as thousands of office Parties up and down the UK, Events you have to be seen attending if a little boring but with an absence of loutish inappropriate embarrassing behaviour!

So as of today Christmas Party 2018 is all booked and paid for then on Monday we receive the email above, and if you’ve read the text you’ll have guessed we basically received behavioural instructions, rules and guidelines, with threats, also informed that any inappropriate behaviour will be dealt with through HR and the usual disciplinary procedures, as it says our Party is an extension of the workplace

…….. as for the ‘drinking should’s?’ Those points are enshrined in UK Law ANYWAY!!!!

WTF!!! As you’d expect this email has not gone down tooo well, that’s an understatement! It’s of course driven by #MeToo fallout, my employer is covering itself against possible legal action, but come on, do responsible adults really need to be reminded how to behave, do they really need to be reminded of disciplinary protocol, guidelines on how to enjoy yourselves responsibly? 

Ok after the dust has settled we’re all intelligent adults, lovely people, we understand this is just another consequence of the #MeToo fallout but it hasn’t half put a damper on this supposedly fun annual event, I’d go far as to say if this email had been forwarded before booking and payment was made, going by general consensus several people say they wouldn’t have gone……………. then again that’s possibly the worst thing you could do, it surely infers to the Department’s Head that you drink tooo much and as a consequence start laying your grubby little paws on secretaries plump shapely asses……………. however on reflection, back in the real world, predatory behaviour probably blights one or two office Parties.

That’s got me thinking, what if there’s a Secretary who secretly doesn’t like me, a closet nutcase, perhaps she had plans to accuse innocent old me of groping her then get me arrested by the police, what a fabulous opportunity to take me and the Employer for millions!……………  Or am I dreaming up a world of fantasy?

Like I said at the beginning. this isn’t a rant, I understand the need for such an email but come on do we really need reminding how to conduct ourselves in a civilised society? The Head graduated from University, a very intelligent individual, yes on the whole is liked but perhaps ‘he or she’ just got over officious with language or perhaps this is a sign of legislation to come? The possibility of being sued in a Court of Law could mean ‘rest and relaxation’ events will become a thing of the past, however lol boring they may be.

And my final word to this little rant, here’s the email I would have sent? 

Dear all, I hope you enjoy the Department's various Christmas 
Events, please remember they are an extension of our/your 
workplace. 
Happy Christmas and a peaceful 2019 to you all.

©A. Shepherdson 2018

NO longer can I avoid buying a Smart phone

Eagle eyed readers to my WordPress ❤ of which there are several, will be aware only my little toe is dipped into the pool inhabited by users of social media, unlike the majority of the Global population.

I’m not on social media, I don’t have an Instagram, Facebook doesn’t ‘float my boat’ and as for Twitter? Why has a tyrannical image of Donald Trump appeared in my mind? Nope I’ll pass on Tweeting my ‘many’ opinions but I’m not necessarily trashing Twitter, and don’t forget many a blogger has a feed alerting followers to their new Posts 🙂 Tweeting is the way forward bloggers!

Pictured above resting comfortably on the palm of my hand is YES my mobile phone, a trusty friend that’s accompanied me on many a sexy afternoon with a lady, I love my Nokia! I can make a phone call, send a text using character written emojis, the alarm awakes me out of bed at 5.45 every morning, a torch function is helpful at times, the battery lasts two weeks without charge oh and my mobile only cost me £15 when new 😮 .

But of course as with all technology an Asian electronics corporation will release a new generation device, making the old version obsolete then you have to take out a bank loan to buy the new upgrade……………. oh and did I tell you mine’s near indestructible? Not forgetting any new phone will have a camera and I’ll HAVE to trash my £8 Fuji digital camera, incidentally have you seen the photos on my countryside walking blogs? 

However I’ve realised over the past several months I WILL have to bite the bullet and purchase a Smart phone, I’m not so worried about spending my hard earned wages on one because I guess I’ll soo get used to spending hours of a day looking at the tiny screen, my index finger scrolling through websites with adverts linking me to suggested purchases via Amazon. So yes even though I’m not heavily reliant on social media I’m positive I’ll soon be hooked by this tiny genius device, I’ll be walking along the pavement eyes captivated by a tiny screen oblivious to the natural world going on about me.

(So you’ve noticed this teenage girl phenomenon as well?)

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I borrowed this photo from a News story which read ‘Girl walks off end of pier whilst checking her Facebook’ 

I’m curious to know, is it only British girls who appear to have a mobile phone glued to one hand?

When I first sit at my work bench of a morning, coffee in one hand the open pages of Metro’s free newspaper laid out before me, the Grandfather sitting to the left is looking at his Facebook feed, the middle aged father to my right is YES glued to reading his Facebook messages……….. THEN at 7.33am both will be reminded by the boss to switch their devices off.

And why do I have to buy myself a smart phone? Not because the Nokia is broken (I’d guess it’ll work for 20 years more), no, every utility Company I purchase heating gas electricity water also banking telephone from also insurance providers now have me in a virtual neck hold (or my testicles held in a vice like grip, lol you’ll have your own analogies) instructing me to operate my accounts via an ‘app’

Apparently I’ve reached a stage in my life that I need to download the relevant ‘apps’ to function as a human being and that annoys me!

😀 But give it a week and I’ll be sat at my workbench 7.20am reading WordPress blogs, watching YouTube videos and unable to understand how I ever managed to live without a Smart Phone?…………….. Actually I’m quite looking forward to getting one!

A. Shepherdson 2018

 

Do YOU know who’s reading your Blog?

You may have read my post themed ladies who perform in Chatrooms, all very tame reading with an absence of sex talk, anyways tonight’s post is I hope an intriguing interesting follow-up.

2015-06-clouseauWell you just don’t do you? I mean we publish our tales whether true or fiction hoping that people enjoy reading, then the icing on the cake is if they like and comment, but at the same time we’re quite trusting that everyone is reading with good and kind intentions…………….. so I’m wondering has anyone over the course of 8 months copied one of my posts? A Canadian blogger by the name of Skinny and Single once commented me it’s likely because my content lends itself to copying, though personally if plagiarism has occurred I’d rather not know, anyways not to worry.

Hold that thought for a second because I’ve a true tale to tell you.

Returning to my Title, about three weeks or so ago I received a slightly unnerving comment on one of my blog posts beautiful princess Anya, a chatroom lady, now if you haven’t read beautiful Princess Anya (read later 😉 ) she’s a lady who frequents a rather well known and legally run website featuring women who take their clothes for monetary game in the form of tokens, yes male viewers purchase digital tokens (not me) on their credit card then pay these chatroom ladies considerable amounts of money to strip naked, or go private and watch the lady play with herself using sex toys enough said! However note this financial agreement is all good clean fun and consensual, the ladies are age 18+ and I’d guess they choose to strip naked and perform because they want to or possibly need to!

Who knows why 🤔 live and let live I say, take your clothes off for money if you want to and stick two fingers up to anyone who says you shouldn’t. (I was going to swear but won’t!)

Confession time!

Now I have on occasion looked at this legal and 18+ Chatroom website and no I’ll not divulge the name, watching female adults taking their clothes off is well fun once in a while. So uhmm returning to my Princess Anya post I ‘borrowed’ a fully clothed photo of the lady to illustrate my tale, I removed her name removed the website title and published on my blog………… and that’s my tale in a nutshell. I’ve been blogging for the past eight months and ‘borrowed’ many a photo via Google, perhaps I shouldn’t but if you wish to copy one of my own photos then please do, you have my blessing fair’s fair.

However my tale doesn’t stop there!

Several days later WordPress notified me someone had commented said post by the name of Patti (not her real name), well cutting a short story shorter, Patti very politely asked me to remove the photograph because the lady was in fact herself! And just so as you know there are good reasons why I’m certain she was telling the truth and note Patti was very polite probably because she’d been fully clothed! 

But still she was unhappy I’d used her photo without her permission which is perfectly understandable 😞 .

I did apologise.

So within minutes of reading Patti’s comment I removed her photo also Princess Anya’s and I have to admit my heart was racing a little because hell, a Chatroom performer from the internet had read my post, I guess she Googled ‘Chatrooms’ or whatever and by chance saw her photo on my post. OMFG what odds would you take on that happening? Well after removing, Patti replied again thanking me with a very polite message accompanied by these amused Smileys 🙄🙄🙄because I’d spoken of her in such glowing terms, no drama no further correspondence and I hope that’s the end of the matter.

But this has definitely sharpened my thoughts, we merrily post all manner of facts about ourselves, personal photographs, even our real names written into Published creative writing with no thoughts of who might be reading. Experts do say that cyber criminal require only three pieces of information and if gleaned by skilled criminals who understand how to use it, they could unravel your whole life.

And those three pieces of information are (I realise I’ve shared before but hey it’s worth saying again)………

  1. Your Full Name.
  2. The name of the City you live in.
  3. The name of your Employer.

…………… Yep that’s all a criminal needs!!

Scary isn’t it! And the longer you stare at those three truisms, the more you understand how easy you or your family could be uncovered, then armed with a full name and knowing the employer’s City a criminal could trawl an internal telephone directory, discover email addresses and well the possible consequences sends a shiver down my spine………….. jeez hundreds of businesses etc own my personal details, tie it all together and well need I say anymore. 

So there you are you never know who’s reading do you? We assume our content is consumed by fellow bloggers and lovely Followers (99.8%), I’m not aware of everyone who but I get a sense they’re blog writers, anyways the peeved lady who contacted me was within her rights to ask me to remove her photo…………. incidentally I have watched her perform within her Chatroom and very sexy she was to 😛 . 

So that’s a lesson learned and I like to think she enjoyed my tale especially because I’d been very respectful.

A. Shepherdson 2018 

Post script! I’d suggest don’t worry and assume only bloggers hang out in this internet back water called WordPress.

Body image, Boob chat and Breast lumps

My earlier post Racist Britain rather depressed me, so I thought why not cheer myself up and write about women’s boobs, and as you know I love women’s boobs!

Oh dearie me how an earth am I going to try and explain this one away (however before reading remember I both respect women and adore their boobs) well all I can say is you will have your own opinions by the end! 🙂

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Did you know there’s a website teaching artists how to draw breasts? I know you didn’t but just goes to show you’ll discover anything on the internet if you lol look hard enough!

I could dedicate a whole blog to the human female breast, no I’m not joking I could honestly! But I would NEVER post photographs on the internet neither would I ever make fun of a woman for a reader’s amusement, most definitely not, I would be positive and respectful because I am a decent well mannered guy who adores women, in fact I’m in awe of these delicious delectable gorgeous creatures I don’t understand them mind you and there lies my insecurities. 

Btw just so as you know I am a feminist.

My breast blog (hypothetical) would be informative positive, neither salacious or kinky but yes I could be guilty of sexualising breasts however anything I’d write would be body image positive and written all because I’m obsessed fascinated by a lady’s breasts, :/ hmm perhaps a little tooo much? 

(Everyone these days seems to suffer from questionable personality traits, I have AvPD but does a disorder exist for breast obsessions if so I have a feeling I’m afflicted, seriously!)

Breast-Variation-600x338
Note I’m NOT being disrespectful to women, I’d guess it’s essential (male) artists understand how to draw breasts properly. 

You’ll be relieved to read I won’t be writing a breast themed blog!

Jeeze that’s a lengthy introduction to my tale AND I haven’t started yet.

I’ve enjoyed naked sexual fun and games with many women in my lifetime, ages range from 19 to 48, (though Karina told fibs, I’m sure she’s 55 years but a gent never asks does he!) And as you’d imagine all twenty-five ladies were gifted with very different breasts, large or small, pert or saggy, high and round, firm or squidgy, empty and drooping, not to worry I loved them all! Imagine a boob size and shape well I guess I’ve squeezed one…………….. and don’t get me started on sucking nipples or I’ll be here all evening.

(Note Karina for the purposes of this tale isn’t the lady’s real name but I like the name so Karina she is, perhaps one day I’ll write the tales of how I came to meet these women but for now I prefer not to.)

So yes in my lifetime I’ve squeezed many pairs of unenhanced natural, as God intended, human female breasts and gorgeous they were to, and truthfully each time I near fainted when they took their bras off, put it this way the reveal and drop is the definition of eroticism. But not until meeting Karina had I ever slept with a woman who’d implants in her breasts and to be honest I’m in two minds, still! On the one hand I’m okay with falsies because they were Karina’s life choice, she both paid for and loved them so that’s fine by me, enhanced plastic boobs helped her body image, calmed any insecurities and the shape and size made her happy so it doesn’t matter what I think does it.

If I were ask to take a guess I’d say she didn’t get them because men demanded them, OR maybe sublimely did she?🤔😯😕 Who knows either way I didn’t really like them but didn’t say!!

And yes laying beside Karina looking at her burgundy lace bra cupping high round breasts they did indeed look womanly fabulous, her bust profile was exquisitely proportioned to her slim body frame (not porn star pneumatic balloons, yuck no!) The implants suited her, gave her a feminine cleavage however after she’d leant forward, reaching her hands behind to unclip then tossing her intriguing lingerie to the beside chair, well after the moment of freeing those bundles of fun from their restraint they didn’t drop 😦 and I enjoy watching saggy boobs fall to above the belly button. Anyways only after first setting eyes on Karina’s falsies did two horizontal pink lines etched into her skin capture my gaze.

Yep you’ll have guessed (cause I’ve already said), those pink lines were in fact the result of a surgical blade slicing into her skin, 2″ long incisions through which silicon implants had been forced underneath her breast tissue in what must have been a brutal operation. 

Why an earth go under the knife? She could have died!

Now I’ve seen these breast implant operations on the TV and I liken them to meat butchery, horrendous, my Great Grandfather was an army meat butcher in World War One (close to Ypres) and I’d guess he lol could have been a surgeon in another life but I shouldn’t be disrespectful. Well enough to say her surgeon stitched the incisions together (a nice job) and once healed Karina was left with two red unsightly marks for the rest of her life……… hmm I’ll be honest I don’t agree with breast augmentation.

BUT she loved them both so who am I to judge, live and let live I say.

Well because I’m an inquisitive sort of guy, an engineer by trade, I spent the next quarter of an hour asking all manner of questions, prodding squeezing basically giving her my own unskilled type of breast examination and she was happy to teach. In fact she guided my hand with hers to a point above her left implant, I gently pressed and felt a hard 4mm sized circular lump under the skin, I near freaked out with the shock and Karina had a look of concern etched across her brow then she said,

“Don’t worry the lump’s not cancerous”.

Jeeze I don’t think I’ve received such a heart stopping shock before, she should have warned me of a hard lump because I hadn’t frigging expected it!! Karina then went on to explain a hospital biopsy had revealed the lump wasn’t cancerous but I think her broken Polish accent meant I missed the true reason in translation, however she assured me the implant hadn’t split which was my next worry. Suffice to say she was booked in to have surgery this ********* though I could see she was quite concerned………………. don’t you think it a shame that a woman has to endure surgery and silicon bags inserted under her skin to improve the way she sees her body? AND didn’t she understand men love boobs whatever the size and shape I guess not?

I felt disappointed that afternoon, Karina’s implants were firm hard and yes they gave her a perky profile, but I’d loved them to have to been squidgy and jiggle, pendulously swing when she moved just as God intended, so okay they were hard but after 5 minutes of sucking licking and caressing I overcame any doubts……………. well nearly all!

Anyways we both relaxed and began to enjoy each other’s bodies, we kissed passionately the womanly smell of her freshly showered skin passing my nostrils and just so as you know I’m not a great fan of bottled perfume because ladies naturally smell divine ❤ , I’ll choose the clean animal scent of a woman over manufactured smells every time…….. I’ll share no further details, you’re all sexual animals lol you 😉 understand many of the ‘positions’ naked lovers get up to in bed together, even with her dodgy knee! (She got out of bed at one point to click it back into position.)

Enough said, joking apart I learnt you should always see a Doctor if there’s something medically not right with your body.

tumblr_n38jwqQywO1twkucxo1_1280
Artists drawings of naturel breasts 

I’ll wrap up this post by saying Karina and I will see each other again and no doubt chat about her (our) health but I’ll leave any ladies reading with one thought. I’ve worked with many men, both young and old over the past thirty five years and I’ve yet to come across a guy who liked breast implants, and yes the subject has raised it’s head upon many occasions. Btw if you’re 🙂 curious my take is why bother putting yourself through major surgery if your identified sexual partner doesn’t like them? Discuss. 

There you are lol knowledge shared from me to you, we guy’s love ‘au naturel’ unenhanced breasts whatever their size shape and ‘squidgyness’ so ladies please don’t ever assume we don’t.

©A. Shepherdson 2018

 

On Days Like These

Perhaps a little self indulgent self promotion, but hey I’m feeling chatty this evening and I’ve always wanted an excuse to share the video below, ‘On Days Like These’ is the Title music to a very British Movie Classic you may never have heard of……… Michael Caine’s ‘The Italian Job’ possibly one of the greatest British crime films ever made, the tune is sublime and sung by Brit crooner Matt Monro. Have you heard of Matt, he was our very own Frank Sinatra……….. oh and a bus conductor!

The song and video are perfect together, the Lamborghini Miura driving through the Alps is spectacular and the Italian gangster even manages to make smoking a cigarette look cool…… not easy! And not forgetting Michael Caine staring in possibly his wittiest and coolest acting performance ever. Enjoy 🙂 .

Eight months writing for my own little private space on the internet!

Let me explain, I began March 10th 2018 with a fictional erotic tale published on this very personal WordPress I described as ‘Blogging Thoughts Photos & Life’, well 122 randomly themed eclectic writings later and that’s exactly what’s transpired, (not forgetting a sprinkling of saucy sexy admissions) 🙂 Btw I’m quite popular in India which is a constant source of joy.

So I have to be honest and say I’ve not run out of ideas quite yet, I have several posts currently in draft stage however before ‘publishing’ those literary masterpieces (not!) I’ve a series themed The Tower of London. (Yikes I’d better pull my finger out and start them!!!)

Let me enlighten you, 2 weeks ago I visited The Tower of London taking many photographs and seeing as I’m a history buff I’ll be writing factual shorter posts than usual he says! They always begin with dreams of being short but finish 1000 words long, anyways I love them.

The Tower had quite an effect on me, slightly emotional even, my Country’s History has ALWAYS captured my imagination and where’s the harm in admitting I’m proud to be British?…………. Sometimes I feel to be an English male with an ancestry I can trace back 4-10 generations isn’t something to be proud of within a multicultural Britain, a melting pot of ethnicities, if ever there’s a TV program screened with lol tooo many white faces then Twitter suffers a meltdown, a tongue lashing by thousands of mortally offended keyboard warriors, anyways no point harking back to those good old days that (perhaps) never were?

Hmm are you a touch shocked? Well don’t be, try to enjoy your life that’s what I say, people across the Globe live in the moment happy in the knowledge whatever happened pre fifty years ago isn’t worth worrying about! Earning a wage to put food on your family’s table, now that’s important! 

Anyways I’m far from being racist (feel free to comment) but I am proud of my heritage so before you read my three unfinished posts, you’ve an English History lesson coming your direction and as always I’ll write from a very personal perspective.

🙂 I hope you’ll enjoy reading (they could be considered ‘slightly dry’) and don’t forget the photos were all taken by me 20/10/2018.

Finally my post with the most views is!!! Helen

A. Shepherdson 2018

I don’t understand why ‘he’ wears denim miniskirts

Should I burn in Hell for all eternity admitting I don’t understand why?

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A Googled Image, a ballsy confident guy/girl with lots of attitude!

I’m a red blooded heterosexual guy, hold on let me rephrase that! I’m a randy heterosexual guy who ain’t laid a lady in ages, and what’s the association with red blood and virility anyway……….. as you may have guessed I’m pretty confused this evening and lol not high on illegal substances!

Mind you if you’d been following my blog closely you’ll know I’m a breasts and ladies man through and through.

Ok apologies for this post before I begin, it’s bound to upset someone, hopefully 😀 ! You’ll have possibly guessed by the Title above I’ve met a guy who wears women’s dresses………… in fact there’s more than one, I cannot say tooo much about my place of employment because well………. many months ago someone at work read my blog who actually knew me! All I will say is the establishment is education related and populated by many academically (highly) intelligent men and women many of whom lack basic common sense, but that’s another story!

Now criticise me in comments please, but I have to be truthfully honest and say I struggle to understand why these two guys spend their working day dressed in women’s clothing? One of them dyes his head purple and wears denim short skirts, the guy in IT dyes his long hair a shocking shade of ‘bubble gum’ pink and totters around in high healed shoes, though I will say he’s the legs to carry off shear black stockings and pencil skirts!………….. I’m not saying I’d ask him out on a date mind but he’s passable for a lady except for the five o’clock shadow come late afternoon!

Now just so as you’re aware I’m not homophobic, I’m an openminded live and let live type of guy okay!……… I’ve a relative in a same sex relationship, two of my old schoolfriends are gay and I’d sleep with two naked lesbian lovers any day of the week!

Being serious for a second, my place of work of course promotes and supports a LGBT community in the form of themed events and social Groups, in fact Cara (he of denim short skirts) is the President, he seems a nice guy, I of course don’t stare at his legs as I politely say………..

“Good morning Cara” or “weather’s turned cold again” or similar pleasantries however I don’t know these two guys other than to say hello………… now feel free to judge me please but Cara doesn’t appear at all feminine, and perhaps my lack of understanding/appreciation is down to my lack of education, but in my defence since age sixteen I’ve worked in male dominated factories and foundries, stereotypical right wing institutions, frequented by bs spouting working class heterosexuals, some racist and all with tooo much testosterone coursing through their veins………… yes I’m ill informed and possibly prejudicial?

(I’m also playing Devil’s advocate.)

I’m also confused, Cara in LGBT literature refers to himself in print as ‘She’ yet I guess he has a willy? One time I actually witnessed him walk into the lady’s cloak room/toilet and that was a shock and a half I can tell you!! But reading her literature and overhearing gossiping tongues I’m VERY aware if I was to say something out of turn and within earshot, he would formally complain and I’d quite probably lose my job……………….. she takes his Trans Gender extremely seriously I just wish he’d the legs for wearing short skirts that’s all 😀 . Confused? I am.

Perhaps I should enrol myself in the LGBT Society to be informed and educated? I’m open minded with a live and let live outlook, but for my sins I have a strong working class upbringing and wasn’t birthed by over sensitive parents.

But I’m not the only person to be confused, it appears to me British society in the broader sense struggles to understand Transgenderism, you have female guests complaining to the Youth Hostelling Association because they’re sleeping, in what they’d assumed, would be women only bunkbeds only to find Transgender men were sleeping within these open plan dormitories…………. a female journalist said she felt vulnerable uneasy and frightened even, but of course the YHA legally has it’s hands tied.

The Transgender community is very vocal, extremely political and I’d guess British Institutions are frightened to say the wrong thing, scared of landing themselves in Court or caught in the ‘crossfire’ of a Twitter ‘shit-storm’, jeez I’m mixing my metaphors once again!

A penny for your thoughts.

A. Shepherdson 2018

 

 

Steam Railway visit (pt 2/2)

(I realise part two of my recent visit to a heritage steam railway is a little late, it’s a photo blog so nothing tooo heavy but better late than never? Anyways reading part one really will help you understand the narrative of this evening’s post. 🙂 My take is enjoy the photos of a very unique British tourist attraction.)

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GWR’s crown jewel is a Type Merchant Navy Class locomotive now lovingly restored

 

Several of you will be aware 01/09/2018 I visited a Gloucester Steam Railway Attraction click here for part 1 where you’ll discover ‘many’ photographs taken by moi on the day.

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Cheltenham Town platform the beginning of my journey, the gentleman standing on the platform wearing Company dress of the day is in fact an UNPAID volunteer……… in other words his passion and hobby is steam trains. (Btw that’s my train under the bridge.)

Below Toddington Station and a very typical railway platform scene, I travel British railway of today and I cannot remember seeing flowering hanging baskets……….. again arranged by volunteer enthusiasts God love them oh and the homemade cakes were lovely.

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Several station stops after Cheltenham Town and I am now standing on Toddington station platform

Below I’d guess this is how a 1940’s railway waiting room would have appeared, a telephone manufactured from Bakelite and a coal burning fireplace to heat the room in winter. 

Below photographs taken from within the carriage I was travelling in, yet again built 1940’s with wooden panelling and extremely comfortable it was to! Incidentally heated via steam pipes from the err steam engine!

Below our locomotive taking on water a common sight on all steam railways of the era.

In light of present day terrorist atrocities blighting every town and city across the globe, my photos below just show how times have changed with these piles of unattended suit cases laying unattended on a platform, I would add this scene is far from being staged for a camera! Watch any black and white movie of the era and this is what you will see stacks of luggage!……….. A security nightmare if ever you saw one.

The heritage railway also has vehicles owned by the train Company on display with the lorry below left painted in GWR dark brown and cream livery……… incidentally I’d never seen a three wheel truck before.

Now for two photographs (below) taken by me gazing out the window at the countryside gently rolling past……….. if you are interested the County is Gloucestershire.

……………. and finally the Railway is also home to heritage diesel locomotives circa 1960’s and my opinion JUST as important to save for future generations to enjoy and travel on.

©A. Shepherdson 2018 (Feel free to copy photos from these two Heritage Railway Blogs)