The song I’d choose as my favourite theme music

I think I’ll even have this played at my funeral!

My favourite blogger LA likes to play a game on Friday’s, today she proposed an intriguing brain teaser, a brain twister have you will, which song would I choose for my personal theme tune? Interestingly (for me) the first thought flooding my mind (less than 5 seconds) was Monty Python’s ‘Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life’, yes played before the final credits to ‘Life Of Brian’, a thought provoking magnificent film ridiculing organised religions for being, well, ridiculous! Oh and quite probably one of the finest must watch films ever made………………………… only wish they’d had the nerve to make ‘Life Of Mohammed’ and lampoon Islam, lol bloggers have been beheaded for making statements like that 😀 and I’m not joking.

Anyways not to worry….. why not just listen and contemplate the brilliant lyrics.

Do you want a dictionary definition? Well if you look on the bright side you’re trying to remain cheerful when faced with a bad situation, offset life’s awfulness by convincing yourself things cannot get much worse so making you feel just that little bit better, or thinking life isn’t as bad as it could have been. Hmm.

As in the past Friday games nights, I’m ignoring some of the rules for this tune isn’t a B side, no it’s probably one of the most recognisable movie songs ever penned, people who don’t take life tooo seriously even play Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life at their funerals and I think I just might!

You have to agree with me life cannot get much worse than if you’re nailed to a Cross but like these troubled times we live in, you just have to try for what’s the alternative? You give up that’s what, but however down and depressed you feel, what an earth is the point to giving up? None at all because remember we all have friends and loved ones who rely on us, to be there when they need us, yes I could quit on life but who would look after my mother if I was gone? No one! And that’s a completely honest answer because looking after my mum in her old age will define my life for however long she is with me………………………. oh and I don’t live with her because she’d drive me around the frigging bend!

A. Shepherdson 2020

Me video conferencing!

Working from home is the future they said, socializing and entertaining ourselves whether that be streamed movies or computer gaming will be how we occupy our spare time they said, and now the future’s arrived prematurely due to covid, many people are asking themselves ‘do I really want to live my life without real human beings?’ Now we have all this incarcerated free time many of us are missing the physical contact our workplace’s bring, whether that be ‘me’ people watching scantily clothed ladies on a commuter bus ride to work (simple pleasures but I love it so), or someone chatting about their family’s up and coming summer holiday to Greece, yes many of us are regretting the digital age’s grand finale, the realisation we now NO longer need to leave our homes!

Btw the media aren’t lying, I’ve seen so many more braless women this summer…cue a shallow excuse to show braless ‘mature ladies’ on my Blog. (In my opinion these completely useless garments of lingerie should be banned by law, spot fined if they’re seen in public, jail even unless removed! 😀 )

Anyways where was I? Oh yes on-line video conferencing.

I surreptitiously took our Teams photo earlier today midway through a meeting (via my mobile phone camera), and if you’re at all curious glance down to the bottom right hand corner, and you’ll see my face lol video linking from the comfort of my own living room…. 1940’s science fiction incarnated!

A simple example of how our workplaces have changed forever due to lockdown, no more travelling into Oxford by commuter bus each Friday, sitting around a table with these familiar work colleague’s faces a long ago memory, now I sit at my dining room table staring at a laptop computer screen for one hour (even more ridiculous I’m talking to a PC), and happily our interpersonal ‘dynamics’ haven’t changed since our last physical get together in March….. jeez that’s four months ago!

Even if workplaces do return to some sort of normality, many aspects of our lives will not, digital shopping has replaced walking into Town in person and I’ve lost count of the number of packages Amazon has delivered. Now we surf their ‘shop window’, pay digitally with a credit card and a very nice gentleman will deliver the package very next day and if you have Amazon Prime postage is completely free (no more queueing and buying car park tickets), in fact I’m struggling right now to remember the last time I used cash!

I Have to admit I’m missing the hustle and bustle of crowded city centers 😦 .

The future has arrived prematurely so say retail experts, cov-d-19 has accelerated the move to working also shopping from home, wander down your desolate High Street’s with all the closed business and realise many will never reopen and that’s so so sad. (Big sigh) that’s progress for you, but I cannot help wondering whether the social cost is worth the convenience of being able to buy on-line, globally million’s of shop workers will be thrown on the employment scrapheap, occupation’s consigned to history along with chimney sweeps and gas lamplighters walking darkened city streets flame in hand, now there’s a truly dangerous occupation!

A female colleague today commented lockdown is “sending me mad”, a sentiment I’ve heard said many times by different people, so has human progress taken us to the point where we’re prisoners living 24/7 in solitary confinement? Meals brought to our doorstep, social interaction via a TV monitor, amusing ourselves playing on-line computer games with complete strangers living in other countries, children being schooled from home, group fitness sessions with friends via zoom, we’ve now reached an actual point in human history where we have NO need to leave the house.

But I’d suggest this accelerated switch to digital living has caught people unawares, blown through our lives like a whirlwind with many of us our asking ourselves ‘do I really wish to live this way?’ Is isolation depression, the toll on our mental health really worth giving up the simple pleasure of wandering around department stores, perhaps meeting with friends in some quaint coffee shop, or experiencing strong winds and driving rain blown into our faces as we enjoy window shopping for things we’d love to buy one day.

Transport me back to the 1980’s please I’ve seen the future and I don’t like it!

A. Shepherdson 2020

Prince Andrew’s ‘car crash’ interview with Emily Maitlis

November 2019 (3 months after Epstein’s ‘suicide’) our BBC Newsnight was granted a rare audience with the royal Prince Andrew in the interview of the century, and all the more relevant today with arrested Ghislaine Maxwell’s appearance in a New York Court ……………. Hmm, so will she live to see trial? Or will she be murdered by a male wealthy elite just like Epstein (Trump has questions to answer), will the rich and powerful make sure this female pedophile is silenced?……….. I’m erring on the side of a gun was ‘accidentally’ fired and she was ‘accidentally’ killed, time will tell! (Surely the Bureau wouldn’t fake two suicides?)

……………. and yes you did read that correctly, THE INTERVIEW OF THE CENTURY!

We saw Prince Andrew discuss his relationship with Epstein, fending off allegations he never had sex with Virginia Roberts, the then seventeen year old who claimed she had been trafficked to him for sex three times………. for what it’s worth I don’t think Andrew is a manipulative evil man, he’s just (very) dim witted, an average unintelligent guy who got lucky virtue of birth.

I’d propose an opportunity to have sex with a pretty young woman presented itself (I guess she looks 19) after meeting her clubbing at ‘Tramp nightclub’ (possibly victim to a sting) but guilty as charged I do consider him pedophile. I cannot underplay the British public’s fascination with the ‘did he didn’t he’ question, we are still inexplicably deferential to our Monarchy, fascinated by this dysfunctional family to the point of an unhealthy psychosis and you can include me!

Now I realise you neither have the spare time, inclination or possibly already seen Emily Maitlis’s forensic interrogation of Prince Andrew and his links to the Jeffery Epstein scandal, (also we’re in the midst of a public health epidemic!) But I would suggest if you haven’t already watched this BAFTA Award winning interview, you could do worse than while away 45 minutes of your lives watching this car crash unfold before your disbelieving eyes, ask yourselves is he telling the truth?

Ask yourself why he didn’t just say, “VIRGINIA ROBERTS IS LIEING!”, If she’s making it up call her a liar, no instead he doesn’t “ever recollect” meeting her (the pic was a photoshop), sweet Jesus I’d remember if I’d had sex with her, wouldn’t you?

(Seriously, there’s questions to answer, Virginia was someone’s child abused daughter.)

I’m not overplaying this statement for effect, but the whole World both public and media (especially the British) are fascinated asking themselves is the Queen of England’s third child, a self confessed friend of serial pedophile Jeffery Epstein, a sex offender? Common be honest, we are all intrigued to know if a member of British Royal aristocracy f***** children, and I’m not going to apologise for using such disgusting language. Pedophilia is a heinous disgusting crime and if Prince Andrew is guilty (disclaimer, not saying he definitely is!) Then if yes he should go to Prison.

So………….

In order to stop this media circus dragging on for yet another decade, he just has to be interviewed by American Federal Investigators, ‘spilling the beans’ is essential for his (long gone) reputation, the reputation of our Monarchy needs closure (I don’t care but my mother does), then again look back through centuries of Royal history and you’ll find murder’s, abortionists by proxy, rapists, extra marital philanderers, bigamists, thieves, narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, ego maniacs, pedophiles……. the worst kinds of humanity are all there, go read the history books 😀 …… and why Britain isn’t today a Republic I’ll never know! (A whole different posting!)

Below the 49minute ‘disastrous’ interview to be yes found on good old YouTube, you just have to look at the guilt ridden expression on his face to know he’s…………………….

I can still remember way back in November 2019 switching on my TV set marveling at Emily Maitlis hauling Andrew’s ‘ass over the coals’, this skilled and Brilliant woman didn’t disappoint as she basically gave him enough rope to hang himself with (way tooo many metaphors A. Shepherdson… I know but wth just know she’s our number one TV broadcaster, way tooo sexy as well!)

We saw Prince Andrew discussing his relationship with Epstein and deflecting allegations he has ever had sex with Virginia Roberts, and what’s truly fascinating about the interview, after hearing all Andrew’s obfuscation and denials is that afterward the British public were in no doubt of his guilt, the very next day he resigned from royal life, handed in his P45! Ditched ALL his patronage to charities because they all were going to sack him anyways! Guilty or not he has been retired from public life forever, with his irretrievable reputation in tatters.

I’ve watched and re-watched this interview many times, a fascinating expose of how to lie (or not to), I’m ultimately captivated by the many body signals that for all the denials, betray his lies and reveal (that in my opinion) Andrew is guilty as charged.

A. Shepherdson 2020

Impulsiveness isn’t an attractive quality

Read my Blog 🙂 , like comment Follow or unfollow it’s all good with me babes, we’re all winging it blah blah blah lol…..

I enjoy an hour or so creating a Blog, whatever happens (or doesn’t) soon after publishing is immaterial because I’ve been happy with the product of my mental gymnastics now in print, and that’s my only explanation? Anyways, I’m very pleased I’d disabled the comments, I’m happy a few people liked my musings it’s all fine with me, we should always be pleased knowing that 🙂 . As an aside, I’ll honestly switch on my PC without an idea of what I’ll write about…… sorry that’s a lie! If I’m ‘feeling hard’ and sexually aroused then it’ll be a sexually themed posting. True.

One favour perhaps don’t comment this particular post, I’m rather embarrassed with my recent (erratic) behavior, as an aside I’ll never be as popular as the women I follow lol , but hey that’s life, “suck it up buttercup!”

I’m emotionally struggling with the after tremors from this pandemic, so badly at times it hurts, my family is (really) struggling, you are struggling, f*** we’re ALL emotionally struggling trying to cope with the uncertainty and fall-out from this awful *****-19, a word that’ll never appear on this Blog again. Whether that be employment schooling or simply wondering if you’ll catch it shopping at the supermarket, there isn’t a human being walking this planet who isn’t YES struggling to adapt to a new way of living their lives…… the tragedy is the strongest will survive and the weakest will fall by the wayside, and that’s upsetting.

Perhaps the saying “live each day as if your last”, that firm favourite your wise old Grandmother used to teach you, has never been more truthful relevant also applicable…… hang in there people or is that just glib and trite?

I think I now understand what having a woman’s period feels like, (not the whinging and whining and persistent complaining), nope, because one day I’m happy to be alive the next I’m well…….., and just so as you know lol, as my Grandfather used to jokingly amusingly chide me as a child, “you’ll never kill yourself Andrew because you change your mind to often”. On reflection what a strange thing to say to a youthful teenager in jest? Then again perhaps it’s a clever re affirmation, reminding me that acting in haste is NEVER EVER a good idea.

Different times? (I miss mum’s dad everyday of my life).

One of my less admirable (attractive) character traits is impulsiveness I’m only relieved no blogger replied to my ridiculous ‘The End’ posting (I’d be tooo embarrassed to write today’s). I published late evening before turning into bed, and yes I regretted severing all ties very early the next morning. Firstly the posting didn’t need writing, secondly, as always I’ll share ‘whatever’s on my mind’ at the time, and if people enjoy fabulous, but if there’s indifference that’s also fine……….. blah blah blah 😀

It’s worth remembering, swiftly composed emails impulsively forwarded has ‘kinda’ gotten me into hot water in the past, luckily none have gotten me the sack but several in my lifetime I have regretted. Open the pages of any tabloid newspaper and you’ll read stories of a thoughtless unlucky celeb’s whining’s getting them in hot water, or a disgruntled high powered company executive’s anger getting them the sack. Both either stupid and reckless or tooo honest for their own good (though character revealing all the same), both individuals who’d impulsively written a controversial perhaps racist sexist email, the consequences to be regretted for the rest of their life. Perhaps a ‘two faced’ Tweet? Perhaps accidentally sending honest thoughts, because all our draft folders contain feelings also opinions that should never EVER be seen by another soul, luckily I’ve not yet asked Helen the secretary for a pair of her recently worn, sweaty used panties……… holy f*** I think that one actually exists!

Moral of the story, stay clear of social media/email when you’re upset or annoyed and never forward your thoughts in haste or you may repent at leisure, nope sleep on the draft, because the following morning a fresh clear mind’s clarity on re-reading will quite literally send cold hivers down your spine. I’ve been there (no not asking for women’s ‘dirty’ underwear), no the following day in a state, my heart pounding and thumping, I’ve I had to contact two work colleagues asking them to delete ‘the’ email, but each time they laughed which reveals I guess the fact they like me and know what I’m like, hmm that’s interesting yet frigging dangerously risky!

(Can asking for a female colleague’s worn knickers get someone the sack?)

What have I learnt about myself this past week on-line? I enjoy writing creating being on silly old WordPress, perhaps a little tooo much. I’m as impulsive as ever, (then again impetuous ‘written on a whim’ abandon has found me in bed with a woman I’ve been chatting to on-line these past few days, a devilish spontaneity has gotten me laid………) where was I, oh yes writing whatever is yes an enjoyable pastime.

Blah blah blah, lol read reply comment which ever it’s all good because either through talent or WordPress’s algorithms, I have never been so popular? for the seventh month on the trot my views have kept increasing? WTF? IT’S A BOY THING! Statistics numbers and lol dick lengths size matters! (Yep without fail when I gaze down at my aroused ‘hard as rock’ stiff penis, I imagine to myself ‘just think Andrew how deep inside a woman’s vagina you’ve been’ and that makes me either a mysogenist but definitely weird and truly happy, true anecdote).

The moral of today’s post. In everyday life, act in haste and you’ll repent at leisure.

On a final note there’ll be another posting next weekend (or tomorrow or whenever or lol next month? All good fun.)

A. Shepherdson 2020

(Sigh) I’m done!

Do you ever wake in the morning and just lay in bed staring at the ceiling and think to yourself ‘what’s the ******* point in getting up?’ Yes No? You’re only gonna log on to your laptop to be instantly faced with your browser’s personalised? newsfeed. Selected news stories that are truly upsetting, heart wrenching sad tales of personal tragedy, the ones where you think to yourself ‘there but for the grace of god go I’….. what’s more how did I upset my internet provider to deserve this unending stream of heart breaking near unimageable stories of human suffering, we know life’s unfair but people just don’t deserve to have their families ripped apart………. and what’s more tomorrow it could be you!

These are the reasons I don’t believe in Gods especially Muhammed and hate-filled Islam if I’m completely honest (write that in a blog and one demented extremist might find you), the reasons why I’m atheist and at peace with my choice. Lol please don’t ever stop me in the street and say “Jesus loves you”, don’t because I just might tell you to shove your nonsense or totally lose my ****! (That’s unless you’re a beautiful lady, then I’ll meekly reply “thankyou” whilst gazing longingly at your tits and thinking to myself ‘so what percentage of women don’t bother wearing panties?’) Cause I’m shallow like that. What’s more when I walk past that guy selling selling Christian pamphlets in Oxford’s city Centre, I honestly stare at him thinking to myself ‘you deluded man, shouldn’t you be handing out that nonsensical rubbish out for free, isn’t that what Jesus would have done?

Then again perhaps I should buy a few copies and then when I run out of toilet paper again, I can remove the sharp staples and use them to wipe my ass.

Living is pain depression suffering and ultimately pointless, you reach the end of your own personal journey then die hopefully knowing you’ve contributed to this beautiful planet’s ultimate destruction. Life is a simple matter of climbing out of bed, dragging your broken spirit through the day and if you’re completely truthful with yourself, hoping today will be your final day on earth……… lol now that’s cheered you up 😀 !

I really am a nice guy (hopefully seen as likeable) and yes capable of love also an empathy which makes living so emotionally draining, witnessing other people’s pain affects me deeply making me feel so unhappy…… jeeze the question of ‘does happiness really exist’ is a whole other posting and thankfully you’ll never read my opinions.

And what of this silly little blog I’ve enjoyed creating content for? (Not the reason for writing this posting btw, the prompt was six innocent human beings going about their daily business, only to die stabbed to death my two separate asylum seekers……….. and these people don’t understand why British people dislike them, and is our police force racist? Honestly? I would say they’re good men and women doing a thankless job, much the same as Doctors and Nurses.)

Enough politics, it is what it is 😦 , anyways I’m gonna have a shower then walk up to my mother’s for a natter, lol she’s the most positive person I know so she’ll soon (verbally) shake me out of my bad mood.

A. Shepherdson 2020

Me (Andrew) aged 18 years

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This is me aged 18 a young fresh faced engineering apprentice, cheeky and smiling the photograph having been taken at work by my apprentice trainer, why an earth he was taking my photograph God only knows?…………… I’m wondering is he still with us? A great guy.

Big sigh, I gaze at this photo and think to myself ‘where an earth have those thirty four years gone?’ I look at my cheeky grin and wonder ‘which of my young friends am I looking across at?’ I can remember for certain feeling embarrassed and someone close by was making some sort of funny comment………. happy days I’m so pleased I discovered this photo as for a full head of hair I’m saying nothing!

I know it’s been a while but for the first time in many months I’m happy, not so depressed and feeling positive about life because Britain appears to be reopening for business, yesterday my Boss phoned to say I may be unfurloughed and return to work Monday Morning! Fingers crossed and there’ll be a posting from there for sure.

After ten weeks of legally enforceable home detention, only a single days exercise to purchase groceries from the Supermarket, perhaps the occasional illegal visit to my mother’s for a natter and shared cup of tea, yes due to unexpected political reasons Britain is rushing out of lockdown. You may be aware last weekend our Government completely trashed it’s corona virus health policy just so as to save one political advisor, the name of Dominic Cummings might ring a bell, all I can add is this very obnoxious arrogant Machiavellian civil servant MUST be deemed so important as to justify offending the entire nation and we really are angry. Never again will Johnson be able to call on the public to make sacrifices and follow his clear health instructions, with one lie all trust and compliance disappeared in the space of hours, so now we know, rules are made for us little people to follow yet are there to be broken by the ruling elite, but isn’t that the way it’s always been?

Military Generals strategize and plan their war campaigns, but it’s only the Privates who die in the trenches, time to move on, open schools and universities, get people back to work earning money and to be honest I’m not tooo disappointed, it’s all a question of expectations and in hindsight I’d never have expected Cummings to obey the Law anyway.

Google ‘Dominic Cummings broke the rules’ if you’re intrigued, then again I wouldn’t bother.

I’ll be completely honest, as I always am on this WordPress, the first thought crossing my mind after attaching this picture of my 18 year old self was err sex! Unsurprisingly my first hypothetical question to female (or lol male) readers is, if you met this guy way back in the day 1983/4 might you have slept with this young virgin? Lol don’t answer but just so as you know this pleasant anxious guy had many issues about his looks also low self esteem to such a point he never got laid until many years later, 123 ahhhh. What plays on my mind lol today and after many recent liaisons with older women, I’m feeling disheartened because I remember opportunities presented themselves on certain evenings out say no more, and occasional readers to this Blog might already be aware (they won’t so humour me) just might remember I hadn’t yet masturbated myself to orgasm still at age 18! I know unbelievable or what!

All I can add is we lived in different more innocent times, I’m the product of a school with appalling sex education policies because incredible as it may sound to some, I hadn’t yet worked out how to use my penis properly more’s the point like most people I guess I can’t say I was overly concerned. Yes I’d purchased a second hand copy of ‘Penthouse magazine’ from my friend ‘Paul Suker’, money and pornographic contraband exchanging hands one sports afternoon in the school gymnasium changing rooms, but and this still makes me angry today ( 😀 ) just imagine the years of pleasurable me time I’d missed out on? Am I unique or were many other girls and boys of the 70s equally as naïve?

Anyways back in the good old days and yes they were, sex was rarely spoken about and MOST DEFINITLEY content WASN’T as readily accessible as now……….. just imagine my 1980s TV had 3 Channels and one of those was the BBC and if ‘auntie Beeb’ ever made the cardinal sin of showing a pair of naked female breasts on screen, questions WOULD have been asked in The Houses of Parliament, I kid you not, ‘The Viewers and Listeners Society’ that powerful 1970’s self appointed moral compass of the nation would have cited obscenity laws and executive BBC heads might have rolled.

I’m of an older generation you see (I’m old) I’d yet to use a computer for the first time, the internet and www were the stuff of science fiction films and possibly a day dream eureka moment sparking Steve Jobs imagination, as of this very moment I could google ‘naked woman’, press return and well you get the idea, yes I’d kissed girls but as yet never consensually groped let alone sex. The photo above brings back so many returning memories, break times of listening to fellow apprentice dating tales (or bs stories who knows), secondhand lurid accounts of fingering girlfriends the evening before and yes young men spare few details in close company, hmm… I guess that’s how unfortunate young ladies garner a ‘bad’ reputation, then again I have a sense girls are NO different when chatting amongst friends.

Anyways moving on!

I discovered the above photograph whilst clearing out my spare room, thirty plus years have passed by for heavens sake, and gazing at my youthful cheeky grinned self again I can remember this moment snapped in time as if yesterday, in hindsight I don’t lol think I was such a bad looking young man, perhaps if I’d been a little more cavalier on our apprentice nights out together, not been as shy also blessed with the self confidence and silver tongues possessed by several colleagues, looking back I know I passed on opportunities (judge me), you don’t need reminding thoughts of sex cross a young mans imagination once every 3 minutes. Back in the day at breaktimes, we fifteen used to sit on a wall outside the apprentice training college and watch attractive young women walk past, and whether you ‘men hating lesbian feminists’ agree with me or not, these young women adored the admiring looks and good natured attention. Happy days.

Err not the posting I’d intended to write, but not to worry sooon I might be back at work which makes me very happy 🙂 . 

A. Shepherdson 2020

Holiday time is well and truly over

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Now I have to work from home the same as everyone else!

I had a severe reality check Wednesday afternoon, I’m not joking for effect because although lockdown this past 7 weeks has been a living hell, self isolating in my home for 23 hours each and every day being near intolerable, but if I’m honest with you dear readers, in some respects slipping into a routine of doing very little can be likened to a staycation. I’ll not lie waking of a morning at 9am beats my pre-pandemic 5.45am hands down, better still COVID restrictions mean I don’t have to queue at the bus top then endure a 1 hour commuter ride into Oxford, crammed like sardines in a tin rubbing shoulders with 50 other weary commuters. Yep lockdown does have its upside, I’m doing very little to keep my brain active and the Government pays my wages!

Oh yes returning to Wednesday’s afternoon!

Well first I receive a text saying my boss will arrive outside my home within minutes, also a reminder to socially distance at all times and we’d better get used to it because this is the new normality. Then just as I finished reading my text a Van pulls up outside my home, so I stepped out into the May sunshine to meet with my work boss, a guy I hadn’t seen for nearly 2 months and I think we both enjoyed the banter and conversation. Then he opened the rear doors to his Van and placed a selection of computer equipment between us on the pavement. 

As you can glean from my photograph of a newly assembled computer workstation, my employer has purchased new laptops, screens and peripherals so that we Technicians can work from home, yep a reality check that my 7 week holiday time is well and truly over. But having to work from home isn’t so bad, I’m emailing colleagues and I’ve sensed these past several weeks being isolated from work is taking a mental toll, is emotionally draining and beginning to affect my mental health. So after quickly Googling to find out the cost of all this Dell equipment I discovered the new laptop cost £1000 alone! And wow after switching on and downloading the required software I soon realised this laptop is a powerful amazing piece of tech………… shame it’ll have to be returned one day.

Now I have to draw on my reserves of self-discipline, get myself into a routine frame of mind and work, there’ll be no more sitting in my garden enjoying the warm sunshine on my face. But seeing my boss after such a long time was a reminder of how much I’m missing social interaction with my work colleagues, a reminder that when the sun’s out and the temperatures rise so do dress and skirt hemlines! Sigh, there’ll be no Female secretaries wearing transparent summer blouses or girly age 18+ students with exposed long legs, no cute young Researchers with shapely boobs clothed in loose fitting tee shirts, you know the ones where she leans forward and the viewer gets a flash of pink boobs, however not this year, 2020 will be a disappointment in so many different ways. 

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So back to work it is along with hundreds of other employees working from home, solitary independent individuals who’s only connection is by means of the internet, hmm I’m wondering post pandemic might this be the workplace of the future? 

A. Shepherdson 2020

My Toolbox, only trouble is… it’s at Work!

‘Working for a living adds purpose to life and a reason to get out of bed every weekday morning’

After 6 weeks of lockdown (legally enforced home detention) I’m sooo mind numbingly bored, the day to day tedium of eating and sleeping, one daily walk, perhaps masturbating, and living on my own is draining me of all spirit and enthusiasm to live, I’m NOT necessarily complaining mind, because we’re all fed up with these COVID-19 restrictions, all upset by tragic heart wrenching News stories that test our emotional resilience, to such a point many of us no longer watch the horror and limit our exposure just so as to remain sane! 

If truth be told I’m missing my workplace, I long for the social interaction with colleagues, to see their friendly faces, listen to amusing tales and funny stories, share anecdotes and gossip about who’s alledgidly having an affair (I work in a large institution where gossip is everywhere!) I’m missing the comradery and banter nurtured over the many years we’ve worked together, I miss chatting about yesterday’s soccer matches, putting the world’s to rights, complaining about Management and yes social interaction with female secretaries or admiring (18+) shapely ‘girly’ students……. those f###ing filthy Chinese and their disgusting insanitary non existent food hygiene habits have a lot to answer for!

(Or was covid released from a Lab?)

Yes I’m increasingly frustrated but most of all I’m harbouring feelings of rage, angry at these disgusting b******* who’ve robbed good decent people of their paid occupations, changed lives forever, and tragically so many people have lost relatives before their natural time, such a needless waste of life and heartbreakingly avoidable……. And yes I’ll freely admit to having walked past Asians and felt like voicing my anger, giving them a piece of my mind, of course I don’t but I understand why these people are being racially abused, and yes I felt terribly sorry for the Nottingham Chinese lady who was doused with hot coffee by abusive van drivers, yes unfair and uncalled for, but I understand the reasons why.

Why? Because whatever happens after this pandemic is over our lives will never be the same as before, those experts telling you how life will change are lying because no one knows how this will end, but be sure of one thing IT will end!

As usual my stream of consciousness has strayed.

The reason for this posting was an excuse to share a short video my workbench, the reasons why I filmed easy to explain simply because I’d been ‘test driving’ my new smart phone camera……. but watching once again I miss my workbench terribly, between the hours of 7.30am-4.30pm I’ll use those hand tools throughout the day, I’ve sat at this bench 5 days a week for the past 15 years, I’m comfortable relaxed and at ease with the world when I’m making parts or putting kit together, I know my way around these tool chests so well, and lol rather sadly, I can instinctively choose the correct required tool to such a point you could blindfold me and I’ll find whatever you ask for.

I miss my toolboxes so much so it actually hurts, now I’m wondering if those 3 bananas are still there!

(Having said all OF that I can’t say as I miss my boss 😀 )

Photographs taken (by me) from within my place of work, technically I shouldn’t be publishing them but after carefully scanning I can’t see anything tooo incriminating.

So now I’m wondering post pandemic will I ever work again?

 

A. Shepherdson 2020

Power cut!

Back in the day I was a Boy Scout. What’s more did you know their motto is ‘be prepared’? …. Oh and what do you think of my novelty ‘Pac man’ alarm clock down below, the electronic synthesiser near gives me a frigging heart attack every morning!

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Btw I make my own wax Candles……… purchased a kit from Amazon 10 years ago!

So there I was 8 o’clock yesterday evening, seated in a comfy living room chair, laptop precariously balanced on my knee happily paging Amazon listings (new shoes), when ‘all of a sudden’ my home went pitched black dark! What’s more the freezer’s ‘humming’ electric motor stopped, as did trickling water circulating my radiators… for once there was light, moments later I was sat in confusion and eerie silence!

Yep the neighbourhood had suffered a power cut.

(And this is why I’m the guy who HATES sudden surprises). 

Now disorientated, that iconic phrase ‘What The F#ck’ ringing about my ears, only then did I appreciate the full horror of blindness, all spatial awareness and sense of direction disappeared as I stumbled myself to the kitchen, pulled unit draws open, rummaged for a torch, matches, and racked my brains trying to remember if I had candles! 

We merrily live through our days following time honoured routines, then some unforeseen event spins our lives into befuddlement confusion or worse, lol it’s not the end of the world but how does a guy manage to pee straight if he can’t see the toilet pan?

Yep times like these it’s the simple things in life that matter…. like owning a TORCH!

So the moral to my tale is, listen to your Scoutmaster and ‘be prepared’.

 

A. Shepherdson 2020

 

My work colleague’s Sexy selfies!

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Not Lizzie’s actual selfie, but you get the idea

I KNOW a young lady who posts semi nude photos of herself on the internet, yep Lizzie (for the purposes of this post) shows scantily clad selfies of herself wearing colourful bikinis she’s gonna use on holiday…. and there’s more! You’ll hardly believe this true, but wow she also posts selfies wearing tasteful white lingerie… and you just don’t know how tempted I’ve been to post one…. all in the name of investigative journalism mind you!

However I’ve resisted temptation because posting on my blog is morally reprehensible, no just darn right wrong! Not forgetting revealing her identity could almost certainly get me the sack from work, infringe Copyrights on umpteen social media platforms, and most importantly of all might cause the young woman untold embarrassment.

That’s if she cares of course.

(I haven’t but jeeze I’ve been so tempted if only to prove a point…. honest!)

Let me expand this rather cautionary tale, perhaps it’ll interest you mums with daughters of your own? You see Lizzie works at the same place I do, and that’s all the detail I am going to divulge for obvious reasons, except she’s aged about twenty, an apprentice plumber (or perhaps not) by trade and a rather pretty young lady with I might add a cracking petite figure.

“Well Andrew that’s rather forward of you, isn’t it?”

Now this is where my tale gets really interesting, because a colleague happened across her Instagram account and btw not me! He’s never said how and I’ve never asked why, but I guess if you searched her name on Google, and she owns an Instagram account, then you WILL easily find her….. a cautionary tale indeed. 

Well cutting a short story shorter, the majority of Lizzie’s photos are of pets Grandparents and friends and surprisingly accessible to public viewing (though not all), but there’s more! To my guys astonishment, Lizzie shares full body length photos of herself, captured in her bedroom gazing at her reflection in a mirror with a mobile phone to hand, and yes there are photos of herself wearing bikinis, clubbing outfits and omg white lingerie!

I’m not ashamed to say we men have all viewed her Instagram, it’s been passed around the department like naughty schoolboys sharing porn images with their chums….. btw I’d like to strongly protest that I haven’t downloaded these images.

I haven’t, but here’s the point I could have screenshot her wearing ******* print bikinis, I’d guess some colleagues might have but she’s over 18, they’re public viewing so who’d care if they’re into that kind of thing… and unworried if the wife inspects their mobile phone! 😫

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Well if she were my daughter I’d be concerned

So my question is, does Lizzie suspect we’ve seen these revealing photos, you know wearing her bra and panties? There’s a thought, all I do know is sharing compromising photos on the internet has consequences, nosy guys find them, images get uploaded onto porn sites AND potentially you could see one posted onto a middle aged guy’s WordPress.

MY WP! 🤫 

Jeeze, now wouldn’t that have made for an entertaining read 😂 .

 

A. Shepherdson 2020

Sandro’s Café

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A traditional English breakfast and yes tasting good as it looks 😀

Are you familiar with that British culinary tradition ‘the fried English Breakfast’? I’d suggest even if you live abroad you’ll have heard us non vegans may well start the day with a fried egg bacon and sausage, a side order of buttered slices of bread and a steaming hot mug of builder’s tea! Now be aware I don’t begin everyday eating this ‘fat laden’ potential heart attack, but if I’m day tripping in London (for example my visit to Trellick Tower) I will attempt to find a High Street Café such as Sandro’s in Notting Hill N. London.

……… and NO this post isn’t another themed Trellick Tower!

I prefer to travel light if I’m out and about on a weekend, a rucksack camera waterproof jacket and a little cash is all I require, well after several underground train rides earlier this November, I walked a short distance into the heart of Notting Hill and happened across Sandro’s pictured below. A traditional English cafeteria which has all but disappeared from our High Streets, they do survive and can be found in large Towns and Cities but more often than not these cafés have been replaced by that culinary cancer that IS McDonalds………………. you’ll never find me eating a ‘Big Mac’ in these God awful ‘restaurants’, identical neon eyesores you’ll see the length and breadth of Britain devoid of all character and tradition.

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Sandro’s Café, Notting Hill in North London

Yes I agree Sandro’s doesn’t appear the most upmarket looking establishment from the outside, though once inside, heat from cooking stoves warming the coldest customers walking in from ice cold November Streets, this ‘homely’ café with white Formica tables and London photos adorning its walls, has a welcoming ambiance befitting the average working man or woman.

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And I wonder is that Sandro himself preparing my breakfast behind his counter? No idea, lovely food though and ALL for a little over £5, which surprised even me knowing how expensive London is to live in these days! Burn every KFC and McDonalds to the ground that’s what I say, and let’s have a return to our traditional English cafeterias please 🙂 .

(I AM joking btw.)

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 My London Transport train ticket for the day, 09 NOV 19

Now I’m the first to admit I’m far from a particularly skilled photographer, but I’ll always have my small £8 eBay digital camera to hand (all the photos on this my WordPress are snapped by this internet bargain buy), and as well as taking photos of Brutalist 1970s Tower Blocks, I’m sharing pictures of London taken that same day………. not particularly noteworthy APART from I do enjoy looking at ‘naturalistic’ personal photographs, especially if taken by bloggers I follow from across the globe.

A London themed ‘photographic dump’ (a phrase the cool kids use) to follow.

 

A. Shepherdson 2019

Trellick Tower (pt3/3)

So let’s just say I win the lottery, gifted the riches to purchase the home of my wildest dreams and desires, which home do I choose? A quaint pretty cottage set within deepest rural Oxfordshire, a perfumed wild flower meadow with babbling brook streaming through long natural grasses, lazy days of watching butterflies and keeping bees or purchase a top floor duplex apartment in London’s Trellick Tower?

Hmm, I’m genuinely in a quandary deciding which to choose.

For fear of repeating myself you really should read my previous two posts if ‘this’ phrase Trellick Tower intrigues you.

(Five minutes later)

So you have returned, thank you 🙂 (oh and please note all photos taken by myself and feel free to copy if you so wish 🙂 )

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Standing 322ft high, 31 floors and housing 217 apartments, these homes are accessed via ‘streets in the sky’ connected to a service tower with lifts……… a quite beautiful building!

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………… and the iconic phrase “Streets in the Sky” was born!

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Trellick’s 217 apartment balconies face South enjoying a full days sunlight, their front doors opening towards North facing corridors. These design details, alongside quality materials, set this iconic building apart from tower blocks long since reduced to stone and rubble.

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Admire Trellick’s impressive and imposing service tower and just marvel at those ‘battlement window slits’ and castle-like watchtower.

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Two ridiculously simple security measures (originally requested by Goldfinger himself) transformed Trellick Tower’s then tarnished reputation. Once a concierge and entry intercom had been installed, the problems of vandalism, lift rapes and prostitution all but stopped, and don’t you agree a concierge makes so much sense in hindsight? He or she would be the eyes and ears on the ground, a go to for people’s problems, bar entry to people who shouldn’t even be inside! All the reasons Hotels have employed them for centuries.

So returning to my question which home do I choose? Well, as of this moment and similar to many a rich Londoner in 2019 I’ll purchase both, the idyllic country cottage for the weekend and Trellick Tower for living in Monday to Fridays……. though I have the feeling the shine and novelty would sooon wear off!

But Trellick’s renaissance isn’t a totally happy tale. Originally designed by Ernö Goldfinger as cheap social housing back in 1972, now that ‘brutalism’ has returned to being fashionable and in vogue, a sickening process of ‘social cleansing’ is taking place across London. Private equity firms are purchasing these concrete high rise living spaces from cash strapped London Councils, decanting poor renting families into cheap low level housing, then selling these Tower block apartments for millions of pounds! And here’s the irony, these until recently hated concrete homes in the sky built for the poor, are once again deemed cool living yet only affordable to the rich and wealthy. 

pre-fabricated-high-rise-blocks-flats-uk.v1476952239And now to Ronan Point where the high rise dream came quite literally crashing down! 

The now demolished Ronan Point, a 22 story tower block built as affordable housing, opened in 1968 but tragically partially collapsed soon after unveiling to residents and public. Poorly designed and shoddily constructed Ronan is the complete antithesis of Trellick built but a few miles away in Canning Town East London. On that fateful day 16th May 1968, only two months after Ronan’s completion, a gas explosion caused the collapse of one entire corner of the building (a resident lit a gas stove to boil a kettle), killing four people and injuring 17 this terrible disaster rocked people’s confidence in the safety of high rise living. A judicial enquiry soon followed leading to an overhaul of existing building regulations after uncovering design flaws associated with side wind loading, fire damage and small explosions..

Looking at the photo above I’d suggest the scars of bolted together walls also off-site prefabricated construction are clearly visible, a truly horrific photograph in so many respects leaving Britain’s housing dream in tatters, the consequence all Public confidence was lost in high rise living and has never returned even 50 years or so later……….. such an ugly building as well. 

So what fate awaits Trellick Tower? Now Grade 2 listed and deemed architecturally important by the great and the good, this once reviled building is fashionable again, now privately owned and having been made from quality materials I’d suggest this iconic building will outlive me! And truthfully speaking I’m still unsure why I love this building so? All the more strange knowing that I hate concrete tower blocks with a passion. 

I hope readers have enjoyed these three posts written from a personal point of view, if you wish a little more insight and detail then I guess the internet is the place to go!

A. Shepherdson 2019

Trellick Tower, London 09/11/2019

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Picture by A. Shepherdson

Hi 🙂

Now be honest, you’re all busy people, do you really want to read a blah blah blah blog where I list the reasons I stopped posting? No of course not, just so as you know I’ve reignited enthusiasm, there’ll be no sex and silliness (that’s a lie) and I’ll be returning with several London themed ‘photo dumps’ (that’s a term the cool kids use), in other words that’s sharing photos I’ve taken to you and I.

Been a while, so what have I been doing? Worrying about Brexit for one (sooo upsettingly depressing), reading blogs written by the (many) middle aged women writers I follow, and for the purposes of today’s post and several to follow, I visited London today, walked the City’s streets (note I’m not a hooker!) and ‘snapped’ lots and lots of photographs.

Only trouble is I’m unsure if any of you lovely people remember me since three months ago, of course you lol don’t? But not to worry as I’ve always said to myself, if at least one person enjoys reading an always original post written by moi, then I’m a happy Andrew.

So why visit London? To see for myself a British architectural icon that is Trellick Tower situated close to the Borough of Notting Hill, and yes that is the ‘Notting Hill’ movie of the same name starring Hugh and Rene, also home to the world famous Carnival. Incidentally the short video below features this 1972 Tower Block built to satisfy Britain’s post war housing shortage, Trellick is now a Grade 2 listed building, a structure recognised by people the length and breadth of Britain with a very short film uploaded onto my YouTube Channel.

(Are you surprised a concrete block of flats has preserved status?)

I’ve never seen this Tower Block for myself before today, it’s an impressive building all the more notable because every major City has been demolishing these grey concrete monoliths, poorly constructed, hated by the residents and quite rightly considered a disastrous exercise to provide cheap social housing for the masses, many have been pulverised to rubble. Isn’t hindsight a wonderful thing, Tower Blocks became synonymous with all that is wrong with inner cities, magnets for drug taking, physical assaults, isolation, deprivation, poverty, devoid of human scale and with a complete absence of (yes) private gardens so loved by the British public, all in all an expensive social engineering project that went disastrously wrong!

HOWEVER with London’s housing shortage now at epidemic levels, gazing out the coach window as the city scape passed by, I noticed shiny modern examples are rising lol like a phoenix from the ashes, with I guess many a lesson learnt?……… I do hope so! Yes Tower blocks are disappearing, yet Trellick remains and what’s more it’s Grade 2 listed which means the City planners CANNOT pull it down. Now for a confusing dichotomy, I for one love this important building which surprises me when I hate concrete Blocks of Flats so! 😀 

So finally, do you see beauty in this building?

To be continued………………

A. Shepherdson 2019

Accent’s and Pink Floyd’s ‘Another Brick In The Wall’

“All in all I’m justa! Another brick in the wall”

(Choir of Islington Green School 1979.)

My favourite blogger LA over at wakingupthewrongsideof50 has been discussing accents, by that I mean the spoken accents we all have, either a product of the surroundings we were brought up in, or a particular way of speaking imprinted upon us by our parents. As for myself and thanks for asking I have a regional shires accent, Oxfordshire to be more exact and more than a little rural when played back to my listening ear………….. and for some reason or other a Polish lady I work with has trouble understanding what I say? Makes me laugh anyways as she leans in because I just know she’s having problems! 

I haven’t posted on this Blog for months now though I do avidly read the latest thoughts and writings from bloggers I’ve followed for many months, even years! But as for me I’ve kinda fallen out of love with life, I’d suggest the fragile human spirit isn’t strong enough having to live through Britain’s Brexit debacle, so much so I rarely watch the News anymore which isn’t a healthy way to live and guess what? I’ve started receiving Party political junk mail through the post………………….. can anyone tell me if there’s an election on the way?

(So unfortunately Boris didn’t die in a ditch after all!)

Oh yes returning to accents or the distinctive way of pronouncing language.

Reading through comments also replies to LA’s recent post on the whole written by Americans, I was struck by the number of commenters who were of the same opinion, namely we’re elitist towards certain groups of people based solely on the way that they speak. Yes we do judge one another’s intelligence dependent on their accent and yes regrettably we do assume certain regional accents are superior or inferior to our own, and I’d suggest will have a part to play on how far we progress in life, or our ‘given choice’ of employment. 

Although distinct British accents are perhaps disappearing I have my favourites also those that grate on my ear so to speak. Sad to say I’m lol neither a fan of the ‘Liverpudlian’ or Birmingham’s ‘Brummie’ accent which does come across as slightly dim witted (awful to admit), though I do love the broad Yorkshire accent of my Grandfather and have a particular soft spot for a North Londoner’s accent………. cockney is a little tooo comedic for my ears and by that I’m not referring to Dick Van Dykes laughable rendition in ‘Mary Poppins’, no I have to admit I do love a North London.

So why have I attached Pink Floyd’s iconic video ‘Another Brick In The Wall’, to a post themed accents? Listen to this brilliant song and in particular to the chorus rendition sung by (and starring) a London children’s choir, and those attuned to British accents will recognise their North London pronunciation…….…. though lol I fear those ‘across the pond’ won’t think it particually noteworthy.

(As an aside I was their exact age back in 1979!)

Band Engineer Nick Griffin recorded the children singing the verse at Islington Green School, close to Pink Floyd’s studio. Alun Renshaw, head of music at the school, said later: “I wanted to make music relevant to the kids – not just sitting around listening to Tchaikovsky. I thought the lyrics were great – ‘We don’t need no education, we don’t need no thought control’ … I just thought it would be a wonderful experience for the kids.”

Renshaw apparently hid the lyrics from the headmistress Margaret Maden, fearing she might stop the recording. Maden said: “I was only told about it after the event, which didn’t please me. But on balance it was part of a very rich musical education.” Renshaw and the children spent a week practicing before he took them to a recording studio near the school. According to Ezrin, when he played the children’s vocals to Waters, “there was a total softening of his face, and you just knew that he knew it was going to be an important record”.

In exchange for performing vocals, the children of Islington Green School received tickets to a Pink Floyd concert, an album, and a single. The footnote to this tale is following a change to UK copyright law in 1996, the children’s choir members became eligible for royalties from broadcasts, and after royalties agent Peter Rowan traced the choir members through ‘Friends Reunited’, they successfully lodged a claim for royalties with the Performing Artists’ Media Rights Association in 2004.

So if there’s any conclusion to be made from this afternoon’s post, we all have our favourite spoken accents, we shouldn’t (but do) judge a person’s worth and intellect by the way they speak and yes Islington’s North London children’s choir is awesomely fabulous…………………. I do hope you listened!

A. Shepherdson 2019 

English language rules, break them!!

No NO don’t leave me yet!! This post isn’t as dull as you’re possibly thinking 🙂 .

ppppppppppppppA recent blog Titled ‘English language rules and why they can/should/must be broken (sometimes)‘ captured my imagination.

The correct use of English language, where and when to apply correct grammar rules, increasingly fascinates because I’ve been ‘writing’ on WordPress for over a year now and who wouldn’t be! Though I’ll add one important caveat, the question ‘do I consider myself to be a ‘writer?’ Definitely sharpens the mind, :/ hmm jury’s still out on that one, however Holly once described me a ‘conversational writer’ which I quite like 🙂 .

Now putting to one side a fun pet tale, she elaborates on her current choice of reading Titled Dryer’s English ‘An utterly correct guide to clarity and style by Benjamin Dreyer.’ which is quite possibly my next Amazon.co.uk purchase, and quoting from her own words,

‘This man is my new-found hero. Basically he suggests we can, and should, break all the English grammar rules we have learned in school. Unless we can’t or shouldn’t.

Lol.

His writing style is so conversational, you’ll absolutely forget immediately that technically you’re reading a guide to English grammar, and he’s so funny. I was instantly captivated.’

NOW for me this is where our tale gets really interesting, apparently Benjamin Dreyer talks briefly about a challenge he recommends all writers take part in. For one whole week he suggests readers eliminate the following words from everything they write, omg talk about laying down a gauntlet!

(Queue an accompanying drum roll)

  • Rather
  • Really
  • Quite
  • In fact
  • Just
  • So
  • Pretty (not to describe something or someone, but to say ‘pretty tedious’)
  • Of course
  • Surely
  • That said
  • Actually

On the last one he recommends, “feel free to go the rest of your life without another actually”.

And you’ll guess exactly what I’m going to say next!

Well I read that list and thought to myself ‘Holy crap I’m a Serial offender, I regularly and repeatedly use every single word from that list and quite possibly almost certainly within all 195 posts on this my WordPress!’

I’m not joking for effect either and whilst I’m here I’ll add ‘Anyways’ to Benjie’s list, ‘anyways’ is my goto word for realigning returning a meandering train of thoughts ‘back on track’, without fail if my thread of consciousness has veered off topic the following paragraph will always begin with Anyways, perhaps you’ve noticed?

Anyways where was I? Oh yes my fascination with grammar rules, now I’ll share with you my one and only self editing rules, that before publishing this post I’ll check (then double check) I haven’t used the words ‘it’ and ‘it’s’ though I will use ‘its’. “Why so Andrew?” Well in my humble opinion the word it’ is an irritatingly non descript meaningless word, not tooo dissimilar to teenage girls and their addiction to the word ‘like’. Incidentally I have this theory that because girls converse far quicker than their brain’s are processing, the word ‘like’ is scattered here there and everywhere’ so allowing thought processes to catch up!……………. 🙂 In my opinion ‘like’ is a meaningless conversational fill-in word however absolutely adorable ❤ to listen to when you overhear teenage girls chatting.

And finally,

Here’s a ‘fabulous’ anecdote I happened across recently and apparently a TRUE story, anyways it (lol) made me laugh 😀 revealing how intelligent thinking stops an ignorant stupid person in his/her tracks.

Picture this. The phrase ‘NIGGER’S OUT’ is written in spray paint across a large expanse of virgin wall. 

Only later a sharp thinking passer-by adds their own brilliant observation: ‘NIGGER’S OUT (but he’ll return after his dinner)’.

Don’t you think that’s priceless insightful and an awesome reply?

(My apologies to Victoria for ‘woosing out’ on Chapter 14, and I know I owe Darnell a post sharing the reasons I don’t use writing Apps such as Grammarly………….. lol no one can say I don’t try to interact here, that’s half the fun don’t you think?)

A. Shepherdson 2019

“The day we stop looking, is the day we die”

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade (Al Pacino):“Tits. Hoo-hah! Big ones, little ones. Nipples staring right out at ya, like secret searchlights.”

——————————————————————————–
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: “Legs. I don’t care if they’re Greek columns, or second-hand Steinways, but what’s between them… passport to heaven.”

——————————————————————————–
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: “Women. What could you say? Who made ’em? God must’ve been a f#cking genius.”

——————————————————————————–
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: “When in doubt, f#ck.”

——————————————————————————–
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: “The day we stop looking, Charlie, is the day we die.”

Shortly after publishing my recent ’75 facts About meee’ post I began to wonder whether my WordPress adult themed content is appropriate for a man of my age? In other words I’ve suddenly become VERY self conscious! 

I’d suggest, and quite rightly so reader’s views will be divided. Now 😀 I’m NOT about to apologise because Argentinian ‘Paola’ (middle aged mom blogger) told me never apologise for your blog, not that I have anything to be at all ashamed or embarrassed about sharing my sexy tales, I consider them a fun read if yes a little OTT but I’m single and very discreet blah blah blah. Perhaps I’m tooo honest here, recklessly honest in my thoughts and opinions? HOWEVER what an earth is the point in taking life and this WordPress over seriously, age appropriate goes without saying! I’ve slept around yes though I adore women’s sexuality, beguiled by their personality as much as any guy, and respect women with a passion.

If you consider me tooo old to dream and write about sex then lol shame on you that’s just plain ageist, I recently overheard my mother talking to a friend out of what she thought was my ear shot. I wasn’t!!

They were discussing their recent evening theatre trip to watch the Play ‘Calendar Girls’, well apparently one of her age 70+ friends emptied her handbag by accident and out popped some electrical wiring? Well APPARENTLY there was much giggling amongst these older girls assuming their friend carried an electric powered sex aid in her handbag! Who knows if it was, I didn’t overhear thankfully but good on her if she err did!

Anyways “she who casts the first stone and all that” John c8v7 (though I doubt John was talking about sex”) should remember I’ve read many a sexy tale written by a middle aged female blogger that would make your hairs stand on end!

Today’s Title is a favourite movie quote spoken by Al Pacino to his friend ‘Charlie’ in one of my favourite Movies ‘Scent of a Woman’, it’ll warm the hearts of many middle aged man reminding him appreciating women’s sexuality is ok and what’s more healthy and acceptable…………… you should listen to the tales regaled by the middle aged men I work with knowing their wives are not listening!

If I hadn’t slept with 35 women then I lol wouldn’t be writing about it and that’s the last time I’ll ever share that fact.

Discuss.

Scent of a Woman (Rotten Tomatoes synopsis)

Driven by an extravagant, tour-de-force performance by Al Pacino, Scent of a Woman is the story of Frank Slade (Pacino), a blind, retired army colonel who hires Charlie Simms (Chris O’Donnell), a poor college student on the verge of expulsion, to take care of him over Thanksgiving weekend. At the beginning of the weekend, Frank takes Charlie to New York, where he reveals to the student that he intends to visit his family, have a few terrific meals, sleep with a beautiful woman and, finally, commit suicide. The film follows the mis-matched pair over the course of the weekend, as they learn about life through their series of adventures. Though the story is a little contrived and predictable, it pulls all the right strings, thanks to O’Donnell’s sympathetic supporting role and Pacino’s powerful lead performance, for which he won his first Academy Award.

GO ON SAY IT! “Yeh but Andrew you not Al Pacino”, yes but we can all dream a little can’t we? 😛

A. Shepherdson 2019

An open apology letter to women not wearing bras!

My first (and only) Reblog.

This post has been viewed more than any other on my WordPress, it’s also a (firm) favourite of mine and preludes my up and coming new post titled ‘On the 87th day God created cleavage’.

Btw women’s boobs are both a favourite and reoccurring theme of mine 😀 and always respectfully written. ❤

Blogging Thoughts Photos & Life

‘Strap’ yourselves in this is a LONG one! 😀

Early evening thoughts with MILD adult themes…………. honest and respectful as always (comment if you’ve had your fill of my female sexual observations and objectification of the female human animal’s body)………….. my imagination I fear is out of control 7 o’clock at night, I’m incorrigible, my hardness is excited and twitching hence I write because these posts are fun and keep me interested when WordPress feels a lonely place……… 123 ahhh 😀

Does anyone honestly think this photo below is offensive? 

public-braless-4A question for you, why is the female breast nipple such a big deal for a guy? And I’d agree with you ladies who say nipples shouldn’t be, after all they have one purpose in life to allow a nursing baby to latch onto the breast and drink mum’s milky goodness, big f#cking deal? Then babes grow into healthy toddlers…

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‘Join me on this journey’ into Women’s Bras

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I chose this photograph because She’s a fine looking woman 🙂

‘Not a lot of people know this’ (a Michael Caine quote), but according to WordPress Statistics each and every single week, no less than forty-six occasions throughout this May alone! One particular post written by me June 19 2018 has been viewed from right across the Globe, and studying said statistics as I’m prone to do whenever bored, I can also tell you ‘that post’ is also my most viewed EVER!!!

I’m truly grateful and genuinely humbled btw.

Now I’m neither bragging or showing off, certainly not lauding this my original piece of writing as a gem of modern literature, (f#ck no), in fact I’m rather surprised this one is the most popular of all 190! So after a protracted prolonged build up I can tell you Andrew’s most viewed post is:

‘An open apology to women not wearing bras!’

So there you, in some respects I’m unsurprised a bra post is number one because internet aficionados tell us 90% of internet traffic is sex themed, not to worry though I’m rather chuffed and why not.

Two reasons for this evening’s ‘Blog’. Several day ago the fabulous LA of wakingupthewrongsideof50 noticed a blogging phenomena I’d not really thought about until then, I’ll quote in her own words,

‘Bloggers that gave up quickly: I noticed a pattern among them. Almost every one of them used the phrase “Join me (us) on this journey”. I have now decided that those words are the bloggers kiss of death. If you write these words on your first blog you are not going to survive.

Why?

As I have not done a research study on this, I can only give you my humble (?) opinion. When you use the word “Join” you are specifically writing to an audience. You expect that people will listen. Bad expectation.’

LA’s Join Me on This Journey post has itself become very popular amongst blogging readers because as she goes on to say, ‘anyone who has written for WordPress knows you blog for yourself’, with all your heart and soul you want to be read, to have followers, to be liked, to be commented and replied to, however writing for an audience is not the reason you blog.

Sadly (and yes I genuinely mean sadly) if you set tooo higher expectations of yourself, write with the expectation hundreds of people will read, then I’m afraid this will only make you unhappy because apart from a lucky minority (who work very hard btw) fame and popularity will pass you by. 😦 A sad truth and only ONE of many reasons why you have to write for yourself, though take heart people will eventually read and follow your writing journey.

I said two reasons. I’ll come to said second in a Mo!

I wrote ‘An open apology to women not wearing bras’ (did I tell you this is my most viewed ever?) For no other reason than I had an absolute blast possibly because it’s the type of post that gets me sexually aroused. Anyways I blogged this many months ago and ever since publishing week by week people across the Globe people have viewed (finger’s crossed enjoyed), and if there is a moral to this story then it’s write for yourself, embrace the creative process and whatever transpires is a welcome bonus.

Oh yes reason number two for this evening’s post! Well I have written yet another bra themed tale featuring women’s boobs and cleavage, which in turn gave me the reason idea to reblog ‘An open apology……….’ and why not ablogfromtheuk is my very own WordPress.

Tomorrow: ‘An open apology to women not wearing bras!’

Sunday: ‘On the 87th day God created cleavage.’

A. Shepherdson 2019 

Helen’s office window

🙂 A ‘penny for your thoughts’ dear Readers and NO this isn’t a sexual Post!

I’m curious to know if this photo below speaks to you? No SERIOUSLY, gaze at this woolly mammoth and I’d suggest after a moments thoughtful contemplation your emotional reaction will be similar to my own!! Well I’m hoping so, because my imagination struggles to appreciate this living breathing animal actually existed and isn’t a product of CGI science fiction.

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A relative of the modern Elephant, they went extinct 3000-10000 years ago.

So did you take a good long look at this majestic shaggy Beast? Imagined it roaming ice-age Siberia Tundra, or perhaps a similar furry specimen, with its small ears to limit heat loss in sub zero temperatures, following the route of the £1.5 billion A14 Cambridge to Huntingdon road improvement scheme.

Huh?

You may be unaware a pair of ‘British’ mammoths were discovered here in 2018, and who knows perhaps the last two remaining species alive before receding glaciers covering prehistoric England pushed them into extinction!

So what an earth is the point to this evening’s Post? Baring in mind I know absolutely ‘diddly-squat’ about palaeontology, other than a great many Dinosaur skeletons have been discovered around Oxfordshire these past 200 years.

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And yes, I’m genuinely mesmerised by these Googled digital images.

Several weeks ago my Workplace Human Resources Manager by the name of err Helen? (Her name befits my tale) ‘forwarded’ an email ordering me to visit and speak with her 9am Friday morning, nothing to worry about other than a general housekeeping chat and check up on how I’m feeling, lol a long story. 

Now comfortably seated within her office, a cup of steaming coffee positioned on the desk in front of me, I’m silently looking across at this 35year old slim woman with mousy brown hair, pleasant in appearance and busying herself looking through Andrew’s medical records forward to her by Occupational Health. And yes I’d be lying if a wicked thought hadn’t momentarily crossed my imagination, visions of Helen bent forward over her desk ‘skirt pulled up, knickers down’ me giving her kitty ‘a good seeing to’ from behind!

‘Doesn’t everyone daydream of sexual possibilities with their work colleagues?’

Where was I? Oh yes woolly mammoths!!

Feeling bored and day dreamy, I glanced sideways through Helen’s office window looking across buff stoned University Colleges and distant open fields of South Oxfordshire beyond, a truly magnificent view for one reason! The 8th Floor of our Department’s workplace is in fact the tallest building across the whole of Oxford City, a ‘skyscraper’ constructed for unknown reasons many an employee has wondered about over the past 50 years.

“How an earth did the original planning application ever get approved, when Oxford’s strict planning laws limit buildings to no more than three stories tall?” 

Visit the 8th Floor, and you’ll see unobstructed panoramic views of dreaming Spires, ‘buff coloured’ Colleges and immaculate pea green lawns enclosed within high walled Quadrangles…………… jeeze, some Council Official must have been drunk at his desk the day this 8 story planning application passed through his hands?

Not to worry, when you are summoned to HR by ‘mousy’ Helen the real joy is admiring stunning City views through her office window, and it was at this moment I found myself momentarily whisked back thousands of years in time, near unbelievable vistas and visions of woolly mammoth giant elephant like beasts roaming across icy cold windswept Tundra landscapes, and what’s even more incredible these thoughts weren’t the product of any far fetched science fiction! I had to near prick my skin reminding myself these magnificent beasts ACTUALLY LIVED quietly plodding along (as elephants do) thousand year old tracks across this same land, and that truly blows my mind!

Then catching me unawares! Helen looks up into my face ready to begin her Friday cosy catchup conversation and with that all dreams of woolly mammoths disappear to be replaced by Helen’s lovely smile 😀 .

©A. Shepherdson 2019

“In 15 or 20 years’ time the black man will have the whip hand over the white man.”

“We must be mad, literally mad, as a nation to be permitting the annual inflow of some 50,000 dependants, who are for the most part the material of the future growth of the immigrant-descended population. It is like watching a nation busily engaged in heaping up its own funeral pyre.”

(Title & extract taken from Enoch Powell’s speech 20th April 1968)

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POWELL FOR P.M!! (1960s graffiti)

Enoch Powell died one of most controversial figures to have graced British politics, I tell a lie, Powell is quite probably the most controversial Parliamentarian of the Twentieth Century, and now that we’re one fifth into the Twenty-first his foreboding prophesies ring truer year after year, thus reinforcing him as the most divisive British politician of modern times after an iconic powerful speech he delivered 20th April 1968.

Here’s a question, how many truly memorable speeches can you remember off the top of your head? Martin Luther King’s “We have a dream” will go down as the greatest political speech ever spoken by a human being for it’s sheer oratory brilliance, a powerful indictment of American race relations and so much more. A personal favourite of mine is John F. Kennedy’s “Ask not what your Country can do for you, but what you can do for your Country”, a Biblical ‘like’ lesson with a message that should resonate with every single one of us and still to this day a truly brilliant speech I’ll never ever tire of listening to.

I struggle to grasp the descriptive adjectives to justify my claim Enoch Powell’s ‘Rivers Of Blood’ is the greatest and most infamous speech ever made by a British Politician, perhaps you’ve never heard of his name or the controversial divisive oratory of which I speak, watch the video below and bare in mind Powell preached these words at a time British race relations were at their most cancerous, and still to this day you will hear people on the Street say:

“Enoch was right!”

If you ever wished to understand how and why Brexit came to pass, a tragic humiliation of epic proportions which will blight my Country for decades to come, then go no further than ‘Rivers Of Blood’, 51 years on I will visit a Polling Station for the first time since Brexit, pencil a cross on a ballot paper, cast my democratic vote and still to this moment I have NO idea who I’ll vote for.

The choice is stark, a dilemma with horrendous destructive consequences and a no win Catch-22! Vote Brexit and migrant workers may well stop entering Britain (optomistic) yet at the same time face crippling economic penalties inflicted by a vengeful EU, vote Remain and East Europeans will continue flooding Britain by their hundreds of thousands each and every year.

We’re f#cked either way! The only choice is through which orifice? 😀

(I’ll add one IMPORTANT caveat, Powell was no Donald Trump.)

Read the text of Powell’s 1968 earthshattering racially divisive speech (below) and then tell me if he was a racist as the do-gooders once suggested, or a prophet and visionary who attempted to warn the British Government of impending doom, but note I don’t say warn the British people. 

Shortly after Powell’s speech polling figures showed 88% of the population agreed with him, honest decent hardworking people, but of course I cannot share such opinions without being branded a white supremacist, and yet there lies the problem, ever since the end of WW2 people have allowed emotion to rule their heads, forgetting a regulated firm and fair immigration policy is in the Nation’s best interest and not the same as hating black people, we’ve confused and blurred racism and immigration as one and the same, I’d suggest if earlier generations heeded Powell’s lessons the idea of a Brexit referendum would be little more than a frighteningly bad dream. Agreed? 

Below the full text of Enoch Powell’s so-called ‘Rivers of Blood’ speech, which was delivered to a Conservative Association meeting in Birmingham on April 20 1968

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Saturday Dog minding!

Discussing our Brexit farce both upsets and depresses me, I will vote this Thursday however I’ll leave the ‘why  I must’ discussion for another day, so replacing my planned political posting I have a happy ‘doggy’ tale instead!

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Saturday the 18th May 2019 had been pencilled into my diary for quite some time, err perhaps I should be more honest and admit my mother INSTRUCTED me before Christmas I WAS to be helping her dog mind this last weekend, no arguments no discussions no excuses, a friend of hers had to attend an important family function, and mum agreed to look after their 7 month old Border collie all day Saturday through to Sunday morning because mum is a nice helpful person like that 😀 .

We as a family have owned black and white Border collies ever since I can remember, I’ve even shared their photos somewhere on this WordPress HOWEVER both mum and I had absentmindedly forgotten how much hard work looking after a puppy actually is. In fact mum phoned me this evening to say she was exhausted, also a little annoyed because a piece of paper sitting on the telephone table had been shredded, along with an email address she hasn’t a copy of!

Border collies are wonderful dogs, extremely intelligent, quick learners with a heightened sense of play, they’ll chase and retrieve a ball all day long, adore working to command with the only downside they demand a great deal of attention and mental stimulation, and if an owner hasn’t the time also patience to train and exercise collies, they can often become destructive with behavioural problems…………. they’re fun, lovely natured working animals, with energy to burn and most definitely not lap dogs.

The offshoot is our borrowed collie hardly paused to take breath ALL day, she shredded nearly every toy, dug a few plants up in the garden, did her best to try and entice my mother’s collie into playing games of ‘chase me’ around the living room carpet, and by Saturday evening and several outdoor walks (mum counted she walked 15,000 steps) all four of us were exhausted.

Yes I’d forgotten how demanding a breed they are, and even contemplated once or twice buying a puppy, that was never going to happen but our borrowed collie was a timely reminder these are working dogs, and if you want a collie pet then you must have the time to exercise and train. Watching them round up stock animals, agility and walking to command in the show ring is all good fun and very seductive, but they’re hard work and remember sleeping is for wimps! Lol 😀 .

Having said all that I wouldn’t own another breed, we all have our favourites and a Border collie is mine.

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My mum, me behind the Smart phone camera, and our borrowed 7 month border collie for the day, Holly’s out of the frame and we’re sat in a local Pub garden. The landlady even brought a bowl of water over!

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‘Dog tired after today’s fun and games, and now it’s time for a little ‘nap’ on the sofa’.

A. Shepherdson 2019

‘To Vote, or not to Vote that is the question’

My apologies to William Shakespeare for adapting Prince Hamlet’s iconic phrase, (rather good though.)

My Topic for next week might well be Politics, we’ll see, as some of you are aware I haven’t voted in either General elections or Local Government elections since spring 2016, and as of now I’m undecided whether to vote this coming week.

Just be aware my abstaining wasn’t voter apathy, it was a conscious decision after Brexit.

On the 23rd may 2019 the United Kingdom’s voting public return to polling stations yet again, as if we aren’t sick to death of political elections, yes up and down this once great land we the people are being asked to vote in European elections, and the fact we voted Brexit in 2016 to leave the EU isn’t lost on anyone.

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Last week the ‘Brexit Party’ pushed this leaflet through my letter box.

Politics! & Religion! Two topics I’ve promised to avoid discussing up until now, along with being open honest and always telling the truth on this silly little WordPress, I’m pleased to say I kept my word. One year ago I made a conscious decision to avoid political and religious issues because it’s depressing, strong dogmatic opinions upset people deeply, and however passionately someone tries to get their point across they will never win the argument.

‘Little different to an atheist trying to convince a fundamental Christian that God doesn’t exist.’

I’ve broken that Rule only once which I’m rather proud of, discussing politics in my opinion can be lazy writing, it’s as easy to rant and blow off steam and a tedious read when written poorly, yet I understand a human being’s existence is defined by his or her’s political views. So yes several months ago I wrote a post admitting I hadn’t voted in either Government or WODC elections since June 2016, incidentally I’m not proud of myself, now I’m asking myself will I cast my democratic vote on the 23rd?

To be quite honest I’m still unsure and if I do the choice may even surprise me!

A. Shepherdson 2019

‘Fun facts’ about the human female Vagina

(Regular readers to this WordPress will be aware I would never ever EVER! Make fun of a woman for a readers pleasure, no most definitely not. Yes at times I can be err a little out there 🙄, but just be aware I adore these mesmerisingly delectable creatures, and note I’ve spared the reader of actual photographs, 😊 and I’d guess you’ll be thankful for that!!) 

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Copyright ‘McGraw and Hill’

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Could have. Should have. Would have.

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One of the saddest true stories I could share with this WordPress involves a girl, a 17 year old girl I used to attend secondary school with many years ago, her name is Karen (for this post) and NO this isn’t one of my tales of an adult nature.

Karen was rather short with wide hips though not overweight, and far from being a plain girl she was attractive and unremarkable and I don’t mean that in a nasty way, 95% of the population are unremarkable and average looking, I am you are, what I’m trying to say is if life had turned out differently, Karen with her blondish hair may well have worked in a Bank like her mother, married say an electrician, their destiny to birth two children own a dog and live happily ever after on some middle England housing estate.

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Is Lust really a deadly sin? (pt2)

I guess she’s flirty with me 😀 for the simple reason I pose no threat plus I’m a nice friendly guy 🙂 .

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Before I begin my tale I should point out my neighbour wasn’t walking her dog dressed in her underwear 😦 , I’d like to make that one quite clear!

Invariably on workday early mornings I’ll bump into a lady dog walker soon after leaving my home, I’m making for a bus stop with the intention of going to work, the lady is returning home after having taken her dog for a walk in the local Park and as neighbours do, we have a short chat because I’m a personable friendly sort of guy, oh and she’s married and age 45+.

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Is Lust really a deadly sin?

If you are happily married, or happily co-habiting, you may find this post morally challenging though hopefully not, as always it’s just Andrew thinking out aloud 🙂 .

(Part2 follows, I have a lady neighbour who owns a dog!)

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Can two people be ‘only ever’ just good friends?

During those idle moments when one’s mind tends to wander there’s a question I often ask myself, would I sleep with a unhappily happily married woman?

The movie ‘When Harry Met Sally’ is a real favourite of mine and not because of Meg Ryan’s awesomely faked orgasm, a performance that’s more than a little disturbing to us men! No I’m fascinated by the premise at the story’s heart, the question Billy actually asks Meg namely can two people be ‘just good friends’ without the relationship becoming sexual OR heading that way until intelligence and good sense makes people stop and think! Can you be friends with that ‘special’ person at work without becoming romantically involved?

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Schoolteacher ‘Crushes’

File this under happy childhood memories, my first true love 🙂 .

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And NO Miss Steer didn’t resemble this cartoon school teacher, a great image though!

A thought just crossed my mind, I’d guess I’m not only person to have fallen in love with their school teacher, no love is tooo emotive a word, sexual infatuation fits better or is experiencing strong feelings towards an adult every child’s first real sexual awakening, a young teenager’s rights of passage have you will?

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Washing machine drum firepit – ON FIRE!!

You’ll be relieved to read I am done with writing about my sex life, I don’t really have any further tales to share, and I guess readers are either bored with my WordPress or couldn’t give a monkeys about my love life, why would they? (Btw that’s not the reason for writing them).

Either way there’ll be no more stories of boobs and wet kitties.

You promised NO more posts Andrew!

Oh yes firepits!

Do you recall the saga that was converting my old washing machine drum into a firepit? That particular ‘How to post’ is here on my blog, anyways tonight I filmed the first fire burn and uploaded a 2 minute video onto YouTube. 😁

Ok not quite ON FIRE!! More trying the homemade firepit ignited.

Yes I filled my converted washing machine drum with pieces of wood and newspaper, waited until our Sun disappeared into a gloomy dusk because I am a responsible nextdoor neighbour, after all who wants their evening spoilt with smoke drifting across the resident’s gardens?

Alas as you can hear by the audio, I am unable to 🙄 narrate whilst holding a camera hence I tend to sound very strange, and as you all know men are incapable of multitasking? Incidentally I’m whispering so as my neighbours don’t think I’ve finally lost the plot!!

Shepherdson 2019

 

Is objectifying the naked human body (either sex) acceptable?

A post not to ‘overthink’ about for tooo long. And used in the correct circumstances ‘that phrase’ is justifiable! 🙂 .

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I see absolutely nothing wrong with the image above, PeTA took a lot of abuse for this one but really? Perhaps if this beautiful black lady was a white blue eyed blonde……… then again she’d be politically incorrect!!

My two blogging rules of thumb are, to enjoy the writing creativity process and would I enjoy reading? If yes then I publish, if I regale the beauties of a woman’s wonderous body then all’s the sweeter 😀 .

Sexism (noun): prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women on the basis of sex.

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Another day. Another Twitter sh#tstorm!

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“Here’s a pic of me at work… think about this before your derogatory comments, animals,” Harris posted under this picture on Twitter

I do love the internet because amongst all the horror stories from across the globe, on any single day you can always be guaranteed Twitter will become engulfed by a social media shitstorm, a polarised debate between two opposing groups of mortally offended keyboard warriors working themselves up into a frenzy.

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Virginity musings

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(Categorise this post under thoughts and opinions, it is what is, me thinking out aloud 🙂 .)

Virginity – dictionary definition – untouched unspoilt untainted unadulterated pure and ‘in mint condition!’ (a lot of un’s in there!)

Oh and a little free advice for you, ‘wait for that special person, wait many years if needs be, but don’t under any circumstances give your most precious personal possession to someone who DOESN’T deserve it!’ Now please read on. 😀

Go on-line and you may stumble across an internet forum revealing ‘men’ will pay good money to bed a virgin first, I know incredible or what, Oxford University Students have been selling theirs on-line, that’s until quite rightly eBay put a stop to such inappropriate behaviour :/ then again there is that student loan to pay for?

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Missionary (& NSFW)

I guess the truly intriguing side to WordPress is musing ‘I wonder who reads my blog?’ Hmm interesting, so previously in a blog post I’ve told you the length of an average erect penis, you may be aware Karina is a lady I meet inside Motels, and btw not even I know what the following post will be about?

(A Charles Dickens themed London trip follows sooon!)

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I was reminiscing the other day, recalling happy memories, enjoying thinking about the women I’ve slept with throughout my adult life, now without breaking confidences my Virginity was taken many years ago by a lovely lady named err let’s call her Jemma, yes not her name but Jemma suits her. Now I’ll refrain from letting you in on that wonderful afternoon because I’ve already written a post sharing that fabulous experience, very emotional and possibly the best afternoon of my life…………. btw this tale will appear on a blog near you sooon! 

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SATS, niece & Bugsy Malone!

Intriguing Title no? Call this post Creative Writing part 2 or whatever lol.

SATS 1 use

Yesterday was both lovely and sad, lovely because my sibling and daughter came over to stay over for the night with my mother, sad because we all as a family visited my father in Hospital, not the most enjoyable of experiences but there you old age creeps up on every one of us and the best we can do is make life comfortable for him.

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Donald Trump’s America

Genuine colour photographs taken of Britain in the 1950s, the member’s of the public pictured aren’t actors and the film hasn’t been colourised! (Alas I’ve misplaced the link to the website.)

🙂 I’d loved to have lived in 1950’s England, but I’m wondering was life back then as idyllic as the photos suggest? Or am I suffering from a condition that afflicts many people my age, wishing for ‘the good old days’ that never were! 

Because I’m a Brit I don’t follow closely all the political goings on within America unlike in my own Great Britain, a broken Country that once had ‘it all’ then either gave ‘it all’ away or had it taken, a once great nation, the trouble is now I cannot avoid watching awful Brexit news and Brexit madness across the internet.

Anyways returning to my theme today, America! 

I’ve never visited the US and would love to one day before I ‘pop my clogs’ so to speak, I’m really am a big fan, whether following politics or life in general America is captivating and enthralling. Yes I’m a political animal who’s chosen not to discuss politics and religion on the internet, forthright opinions only upset and annoy readers so what’s the point, and I’m convinced people are more interested in writing as an antidote to real life as opposed to………….. jeeze where do I honestly begin?

Viewing America from over here on the opposite side of the pond I’m a fascinated observer, I’m a space nerd and truly grateful America landed a man on the moon later returning him home safely. A brief anecdote for you, one afternoon several years ago, laying beneath a warm duvet spread out on the living room sofa, I watched live footage from the final space shuttle flight to service Hubble, in total I think I watched NASA’s live stream a solid 18 hours a day, as astronauts meticulously replaced Hubble’s Giros and electronics using simple tools worth millions of dollars. Then only several days ago another American first as Dragon Module successfully docked with the space station.

A new space era begins.

With engineering skill, luck and a fair wind the prospect of man yet again walking upon the moon’s surface is a distinct possibility and I truly hope I live that long because yes as you know I love viewing the moon through my telescope, I’d be beside myself with joy and excitement if man returned.

So I’m asking myself how bad (media opinion) can life truly be living in Trump’s America? No one can doubt he loves his Country and puts America first, severs trading with countries who employ cheap labour and import good which close American factories down and put people out of jobs, he’s building a wall to halt the influx of South American migrants from illegal entry, not forgetting the walking caravan of drug dealers and Muslim extremists….. he’s putting America first, standing up for the ‘common man’, upholding a treasured Constitution and preserving a national identity thus ensuring it’s people a good quality of life……… you cannot knock him for being a patriot.

Btw I’m not being sarcastic!

After Brexit and I win the lottery I may even emigrate there………… or Australia………… or Ireland, trouble is I don’t play the lottery! 

( 🙂 please feel free to comment.)

 

©A. Shepherdson 2019

 

 

 

Sexy, a fashion nightmare for the older woman?

Just for fun 🙂 .
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“Mutton dressed up as Lamb” Is a British way of describing a (deluded) older woman who is dressed in a style more suited to a younger woman, also slightly derogatory because she’s deliberately trying to appear young.

Or you may prefer Bernadette Matthews definition at mumsnet.com: 

‘Too much leg and cleavage on show at the same time!’

Regular readers to this WP will be aware I love interacting with other writers, well this evening I’ve a response post prompted by the excellent LA and her thought provoking blog Forever21, I urge you to follow she’s possibly my favourite blogger, slightly irreverent, ladles of honest American attitude and oozing oodles of common sense,.

‘I dressed in an outfit that I thought was good for the event and that I felt confident in. And basically, this is how you should feel when you walk out the door. A friend saw a picture of me and said that I looked stylish and sexy, which of course was my exact goal. But then I started to wonder- was I starting to push it?

So, while we were on line, I said this to my friend, who is in excellent shape and looks great for any age, and she simply shook her head and said “Yeah. I know. When do we actually look good for our age, and when do we start to look ridiculous.”

Ok I agree, LA probably didn’t have the derogatory and unfair ‘label’ mutton dressed up as lamb’ at the point of her writing ‘when do we look good for our age and when do we start to look ridiculous’, but hey they make interesting bedfellows don’t you think?

I’d suggest the what to wear dilemma hardly ever crosses a guy’s mind, I’m age 50 and feel completely comfortable wearing charcoal black jeans matched with a light blue Oxford long sleeved shirt, perhaps a sweater and smart shoes, all very casual, a look I could wear at work or down the pub of a weekend and I’d guess no one gives me a second glance………. HOWEVER I have no doubt what NOT to wear is a real headache for the older woman!

So as I’m at a lose end I did a little on-line surfing all in the name of research, oh and because I’m a guy who knows sweet FA about fashion! Then I happened across this jewel of Debenham’s research which said,

‘When it comes to fashion, nine in ten women aim to dress younger than their years. And more than half say they won’t start ‘dressing their age’ until they are at least 70’, further ‘Over half said they began to dress younger in their 30s and 90 per cent admitted they had started to dress younger by their mid-40s’.

Now LA’s a lady who loves lists and these Top 10 Items You’re Too Old to Wear, read as brilliant advice, and remember I know sweet FA about fashion, clueless, however I’m as quick to judge and point my finger as every other guy so why not give an opinion! Hmm, and I wouldn’t disagree with their 10 ‘fashion minefields’,

  1. Message tee shirts
  2. Too trendy denim
  3. Costume shoes
  4. Micro mini skirts
  5. Anything Showing Excessive Cleavage/Visible or coloured bra straps.
  6. White, Ribbed Cotton Tank Tops
  7. Hair gadgets
  8. Oversized decorated Hobo Bags
  9. Cheap unflattering underwear
  10. Loud accessories

“But trying too hard only calls attention to yourself – it’s overcompensating. You don’t need to dress like a teenager to look young.”

As I’ve said before I’m a keen observer of the human female mammal, read my posts, and I would suggest the true bananas skin, fashion fau-pa opportunity is sexiness, get it wrong wear a short a black leather skirt, heals inches too high, blouses too low cut are a recipe for unwanted attention from men, and disapproving looks from women worried about losing their man and I ain’t saying nothing about looking like a hooker!

Just avoid anything four inches or more above the knee and add tights to make a short skirt less risqué, say the experts. Or wear chic straight skirts, classy being the watchword, allowing you to show off some curves without making you look as though you’re pretending to be born after the Bill Clinton years!

It’s a worry but classy is the watch word, trouser jeans you can wear from the PTA meeting to a party when paired with the right top, stylish padded shoes with wider thicker heels and definitely avoid anything that shows excessive cleavage or visible coloured bra straps……….. or any underwear for that matter.

0818a65ff44362f28e79ebac376d6ec2I realise the older woman would never be caught dressed like this, whoever lol thought low-cut jeans and thongs was a good idea? But I guess the saying ‘you’re only young once applies!

Apparently the more mature lady ‘shouldn’t feel she needs to show it all off. Anything below the middle of your bustline has got to go,’ ‘A little goes a long way,” and no excessive ‘boobage’ past the age of 40, displaying too much sagging skin apparently is a no no, so go for a blouse underneath, unbutton a few buttons and you’re going to look sexy but classy’.

Having said all that, the summer of 2018 was one of Britain’s hottest, and I can recall as if yesterday sitting on the top deck of a bus, looking out the window and watching a woman age 65 if a day. Totally captivated I was, for this mature lady in her blue pencil skirt and restrained high heels wore a tight fitting tee shirt with, wait for it, no bra! And all I’ll add to that is she was a ‘big girl’ yet looked both classy and ravishing!

Way to go madam.

And now we arrive at number 9 ‘Cheap, Unflattering Underwear’ and I’ll profess to being an interested expert! As I’ve written before M&S tells us most women are not fitted properly, a woman’s breasts and body sags so I guess underwear needs to be as supportive as it is sexy.

Having said all or that, our Group Secretary at work throughout Summer wears low cut print dresses displaying her ample assets, the only trouble is us Technicians are NOT listening to our lecturing Professor! Yep I agree, appropriate sexiness is where an older woman can look classy or yes ‘Mutton Dressed Up as Lamb’.

And finally advice from the experts.

“Every woman must make her own decisions about when to break the rules, but what you’re striving for isn’t to look youthful – it’s to look ageless, this way, you’re going to look fabulous because the look is appropriate for you.”

A. Shepherdson 2019

How Long is an Average Length? (Penises)

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2 questions for you, do you know the average length of a human male erect penis? Also have you ever wished to know? If so read on!

I’m a respectfully playful soul on-line, all good fun and it passes the time quite pleasurably, so having tagged this post NSFW, I think it’s ok to share a question that’s sparked and arced my juvenile imagination for as long as I can remember, namely ‘how long is an average length?’ Btw please note this post’s content is about on a par as a woman’s magazine or an encyclopaedia!

Let me begin.

So yes I’m wondering this evening, how long is average length in inches OR centimetres? And no we’re not talking about the length of my telescope! So what do you do when you have a question that’s always puzzled you? You Google ’cause the days of visiting the library are alas long gone…………. yikes it’s been ages since I last visited a public library 😦 .

Amazingly, as of this moment in time I can only remember asking one lady this rather unusual question, and she gave hand-relief for a living! Well think for a second it’s just not the question to ask in polite company is it, women that is, because we men will discuss our lengths until the proverbial cows come home and compare when group showering………… oh yes we will, and do!!

Before I get to the point of sharing my vital statistics, and you just knew I was going to share my length didn’t you? Here are a few facts and figures to keep you amused. And yes I did once get a steel rule out to measure, I’ll admit to that one lol. So let’s talk statistics shall we, yes I researched facts and figures on the www, then blended with my own thoughts and opinions as always, that is apart from several highlighted quotations lifted from appropriate websites, i.e. thoughts on body image!

A collaboration between King’s College and our very own NHS polled 15,521 men, wow that is some serious studying, measuring both their penis length and girth when erect, now wait for it! Are you sitting down comfortably?

The average length of a penis when erect is 13.1cm/5.16″, now didn’t you always wish to know that? And there’s more, the average girth (circumference) is 11.6cm/4.59″ now I have to say if that’s the average then I’m feeling rather deflated!

You want more stats? Ok, the average length when flaccid is 9.2cm/3.16″ and the average softened girth is 9.32cm/3.67″, again I’m feeling slightly deflated if you’ll excuse the pun!! Now if all those figures seem low to you, it just goes to show the size of one’s penis isn’t such a big deal after all, and perhaps the length of a man’s aroused member, swollen appendage ain’t worth worrying about anyway!

More stats? I’ve got them! Only 5% of erect penises are bigger than 16cm/6.3″ long, now that figure cheered me up no end (excuse the pun), likewise only 5% of men have a penis shorter than 10cm/3.94″.

And now to growing old? For those of us closer to the end than the beginning penis size does get shorter with age, men in their 60’s to 70’s may lose 0.4″ to 0.6″ in penis length and interestingly, I never knew this, any increase in body fat percentage can result in the penis appearing smaller as a man ages………… now there’s an incentive for keeping one’s weight down, 0.4″-0.6″ may not seem a lot to a guy but it may mean the world to your partner!

More facts and figures? Ok one more, an internet-based survey of more than 50,000 men and women revealed 45% of men would like a larger penis.

‘Each penis is unique and boys develop at different ages and rates. During puberty, usually between the ages of 11 and 18, the penis and testicles develop more rapidly, although the penis doesn’t stop growing until the age of 21.’

So what does the fair sex think? 

Several studies that I happened across during my not so scientific research, suggested penis size is much lower on their list of priorities than for say, personal grooming also a man’s personality and all I can say is thank goodness for that! That’s the best news I came across all evening! In fact 85% of women were satisfied with their partner’s erection whereas only 55% of men were satisfied with the length of their own, and speaking for myself every guy is so very proud of his own appendage but when asked we’d all admit that we’d prefer a longer one……………. now I detest visual pornography but I did happen to watch a movie starring this black guy by the name of ‘Mandingo’, incredibly he had a 30cm/12″ penis and what’s more he knew how to use it!!

😮 12″ ffs!

According to a Professor Wylie on the internet? (Seriously the website said ‘Wylie’, or were they taking the piss?)

“It may come as a surprise to some young men, but most women have very little interest in the size of their penis and that’s been shown in numerous studies over time, research shows that when it comes to sex, women are much more interested in whether you are romantic, tender and sensitive to their needs and desires than your penis size.”

Yet more data for you, and come on be honest we all like comparing our preferences to national statistics. A published report by UCLA no less, showed 84% of women feel “very satisfied with their man’s penis size”, though that doesn’t differentiate between girth and length? Yes men worry whether their penis will sexually satisfy their partners but apparently we men can get equally anxious worrying about how we look naked, and personally speaking how my body is perceived by a lady does worry me!

And now we come to that old chestnut does size matter? Of particular concern for some men is whether their penis will be sexually satisfying for themselves also their partner, and according to the internet, when it comes to sexual intercourse bigger may not always be better, now there’s some good news for you!

In yet another study, researchers interviewed 75 sexually active women asking what size of penis they would prefer for a one-night stand, apparently they preferred a 16.25cm/6.4″ erect penis and a mind blowing 12.7cm/5″ in girth, that’s circumference to you keep up, 5″ wow that’s BIG!! However women in long term relationships preferred a 16cm/6.3″ long penis with a girth of 12.2cm/4.8″, now in my opinion that’s still one big penis!

Yet another similar study of women’s preferences, published in BMC Women’s Health, found that penis girth was more important than length for sexual satisfaction, hmm interesting!

And what about people with big feet? Yeh that old wives tale. Well no evidence has been found linking penis size to foot size or ethnicity, so a no to that fake news, and like I said it is believed that a higher BMI and old age are weakly associated with a shorter erect penis……….. and note, there is some truth in the fact men who drive big cars have small dicks!

Btw if you are a guy reading this just for fun post and wish to measure your own length erection, get a rule then measure from the base where it connects to your pubic bone, right to the tip of your glans which is the bellend purple helmet, however don’t forget to subtract any additional length associated with foreskin, that’s cheating! As for girth, I measured the width of my shaft inserting the figure into a maths equation 3.14xD or 2×3.14xR.

Oh and I came across this gem observation,

‘Feeling inadequate can really damage a man’s self-confidence and affect his social life. It can lead to issues from being unable to using public urinals or shared shower rooms, to avoiding intimate relationships.’

Well personally speaking I have never ever looked at a man’s penis when inside public urinals, jeez can’t you get arrested for that? But being serious for a second I guess a worried teenager/young man could feel inadequate, leading to low-self esteem, affect his relationship with women but the good news is all this research tells us women aren’t to bothered by size anyway? Similarly research sadly appears to show anxiety about penis size may arise after taunts from other children during adolescence, or remarks from a sexual partner and I can imagine that level of bullying would hurt.

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(Left, a Greek statue)

And finally penises of course feature throughout art history and culture……. As we know from cave paintings and ancient sculpture man has always placed great importance on the size of his penis, with many cultures associating penis size with masculinity, what’s more throughout the ages, long penises had come to symbolise qualities such as virility, fertility, strength, ability and courage. Some cultures even went to extreme lengths to try to increase the size of their penis, and don’t imagine I already know these following two nuggets of trivia because I didn’t, apparently Indian mystics known as Sadhus had been known to stretch their penis from an early age by hanging weights on it, while the Topinama tribesmen of Brazil encouraged poisonous snakes to bite their penis to enlarge it.

Ouch!!

If you suffer from low self esteem here are a few tips to help with positive body image, incidentally lifted directly from one of those Medic websites and so very true.

‘If you’re unhappy with your body, whether it’s the size of your penis or the look of any other part of you, try these helpful tips for feeling better about yourself:
Focus on the characteristics and body parts you do like, such as broad shoulders or a nice smile.
Maintain a healthy weight and incorporate strength training into your exercise routine. If you look fit and healthy, you may feel better about yourself.
Don’t become consumed by penis size. You can be a satisfying sexual partner regardless of the size of your penis.
Don’t compare yourself to athletes, models, and actors. You’ll develop an unhealthy and unrealistic image of what is normal and how you should look.
Spend more time and energy on pursuits you find rewarding, whether it’s sports, hobbies, traveling, or other activities. Lasting self-esteem comes from nonphysical traits, such as creativity, intelligence, and your values.’

Wouldn’t you agree that’s sound advice for life in general?

So I guess if there’s any conclusions to be made, it appears plenty of men wonder if they are at or near the average penis size, when the actual truth is a majority of men are within a close range of the average length and girth………………… hmm do I have tooo much time on my hands?

Oh yes I nearly forgot to say my appendage erect is a good percentage above average length, yay! But alas I’m a percentage smaller on girth the figure women Really worry about 😉 , and no I’m not saying by how much! 😀 

So is an average length of 13.1cm/5.16″ a surprise to you?

©A. Shepherdson 2019

Dana the Romanian masseuse (NSFW)

I didn’t finish my intended Friday’s post, so instead I’m going to reblog a (favourite) tale I first published September 2018…………. however before I begin you’ll need to be reminded what a Happy Ending is, it helps my narrative (also brings to a close my Topic for the week, some may say “thank goodness”).

Urban Dictionary defines ‘Happy Ending’ thus: ‘When a masseuse feels inclined to finish your session with oral sex or manual release’…………… and forget the word inclined that’s what I paid her to do! 

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One blustery autumn afternoon in late September, a few months ago now! You’d have found me laying naked on my back, not a stitch of clothing on my body, my legs wide apart and a Romanian lady by the name of ‘Dana’ kneeling before me, a truly beautiful gorgeous lady gazing down upon me, a delicious wicked smile across her face oh and the reddest glossiest lipstick you ever did see.

“Do you enjoy giving gentleman hand relief?” I inquired,

And when you ‘come’ to think of it massaging a male client’s back muscles with dexterous skillful fingertips, finishing the massage with one hand gently curled around his erection and gently rolling his testicles between thumb and finger with the other, has to be one of the strangest occupations ever!

“Yes I do honey”,

Dana answered with a wicked grin, her lubricated right hand rhythmically stroking my love length and circling my purple helmet with warming palms, the joyous tingles and pleasurable sensations coursing from the tip of my penis down to my groin are near indescribable………… only men understand how gorgeous and beautiful those stimulated nerve endings alter his mind, his breath quickens, his hardness bucks and pulses as he draws ever closer to climax.

I once gleaned from secretive Dana where she’d learnt her gift for massage with an erotic twist from? She said after arriving in Britain as an economic migrant, earning money to pay for a deposit on land back in her native Romanian village, she first stayed with a friend in Birmingham but had no job, no income! Then one day her flatmate suggest they both rent a bedroom, advertise ‘certain services’ on an adult website, both working giving intimate Swedish massages…………. massage ‘services’ you’ll not find on your average Town’s High Street.

Well fast forward her tale several years and Dana rented a bottom floor box bedroom within a back street terraced house in a part of Oxford, a place where you’ll not leave your car unattended………….. put it this way if you did, your car wouldn’t be there when you returned!!!

I’d better shorten my winding complicated tale because you all lead busy lives, just understand whilst surfing the net one evening I happened across this LEGAL adult website giving intimate massages, phoned the mobile number hoping I was speaking to the lady in the photographs and well I became her 4 o’clock afternoon appointment that same day.

You’ll all know by now I’m an honest guy, well the website is legal, the ladies are over age 18 and working independently of their own accord and incidentally Dana stresses she gives no sexual services………… which means neither penetration or fellatio……… shame really because as I gazed into her eyes I didn’t half fancy a blowjob!

Well I traveled by bus to Oxford, found my way to the given name of the street, texted her for the house number at 3.55pm, then upon reaching the address told her my name through the intercom beside the front door. A buzzing sound came from said door lock and there standing in the hallway was one of the most beautiful young ladies I have ever seen in my life, slim gorgeous with a beautiful smile and warm becoming blue eyes.

I introduced myself and yes she was even more beautiful than her photos suggested, then followed her through one of the many doors into a dimly lit warm and cosy bedroom………..virtually absent of furniture other than a single bed with duvet, centrally heated, carpeted, very clean and extremely tasteful.

I handed Dana the advertised price and then stood there near speechless looking like a complete and utter lemon wondering what to do next? Until she said,

“Well take your clothes off!”

“All of them?” I rather lamely answered she must have thought ‘Jesus I’ve a right one here!’

“Yes all of them honey” she said laughing now, “then take a shower” glancing past me toward an even SMALLER side room (wardrobe) no bigger than a shower cubicle………… err that’s what the cupboard was!

So, and writing here and now this anecdote still makes me laugh, Dana stood there in her fishnet stockings, latex high waisted tight fitting hot pants (no knickers hold that thought!) also a black bralette revealing two of the most exquisitely shaped high round breasts you ever did see, I’m still smiling because this lady I’d known for sixty seconds stood but a metre close to me inside this tiny bedroom, and I near felt her burning gaze as I slipped down my boxer shorts, I glanced up and yes she was appraising my ‘bits and pieces’ ………… now just be aware I’m a clean bunny who was freshly showered wearing clean underwear, but as instructed I took a shower after being handed a fluffy soft towel.

(Why are Hotel towels always white?)

I ought to admit at this point I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Dana one time several years ago, she gave me a finger in the ass prostate tickle but as the days past afterward, I decided the service wasn’t for me…………… yes one for the bucket list but I didn’t enjoy it!

Well now I’m laying naked on her bed face down, a clean towel spread lengthways along the spongy quilt, arms down by my side then Dana places herself sitting on the tops of my legs, her two thighs either side my own and truth be told in a VERY firm vice like grip. Both Dana and I now comfortable I hear her squirt massaging oils into one hand from a bottle, then she began to push her hands deep into the small of my back, gliding them along my spine around my shoulders and all I can say is if you’ve never experienced warm skilful fingers work their magic on tired tight muscles, especially around the shoulders, if you haven’t then omg you haven’t lived! I will add Dana finger’s kneaded pushed and pulled tense muscles but not to worry she brought a true tingling warmth into my skin…………. btw I felt fabulous afterward!

And all the while we chatted about BREXIT, yes you did read right, she’s a working migrant from Romania! I talked about my family, we discussed Oxford architecture and I soon discovered Dana was witty personable friendly qualities you ascertain within minutes of meeting someone new, Dana is an intelligent young lady, then after 15 glorious minutes had passed rather abruptly she said,

“Now turn over!” Having first moved to one side, followed by a firmly spoken, “spread your legs wide!”

“Wider!!”

Dutifully I ‘widened’ presenting my bits and pieces in what was a rather precarious position, with Dana finally sitting her bum on her thighs kneeling close between them, and omg you just have to know this goddess of a lady was so beautiful with the prettiest sweetest smile you ever did see……………. and a wicked gleam in her eyes! Like I said she enjoyed jerking men off, maybe the thrill for her was being in control and dominating a man, or perhaps giving hand relief is just a fun way to pay the gas bill? Either way it’s times like these that I’ve never felt more alive.

Dana now wearing a pair of delicate latex gloves from a box, slips them on, cups my testicle sack with the palm of her left hand and curls lubricated fingers around the shaft of my penis with the other, oh and I forgot to add I’ve rarely been so hard erect and engorged before. I’d guess staring at her gorgeous boobs and plunging cleavage was the reason for that…….. oh as for knowing she wore no knickers! Well put it this way slightly parted thighs and tightly fitting hotpants revealed all!!

I should say at this point do I really need to graphically explain the process of hand relief? Men of course understand the ‘process’ and I’d guess all women have serviced a partner, anyways all I will add is Dana possessed a skilful technique she described as luxurious (it was!) Well she worked her dextrous magic, my penis bucking as I’m brought to climax then bingo she directs a stream of warm semen across my stomach……………. any men reading appreciate the joyous heavenly pleasure.

(And with boobs as exquisite as those two you’ll appreciate I even impressed myself!)

So there you are the Swedish massage with intimate ‘happy ending’, and for any ladies reading all I can say is if you’re in search of a well paid fun occupation, you could do worse than train as a masseuse…………….. oh and I forgot to say Dana’s Birmingham flatmate gave her the confidence and now she gives ‘happy endings’ for a living!!!

©A. Shepherdson 2018

Boutique Mannequins modelling underwear (Thursday)

(My apologies for not publishing my NSFW post yesterday, I went out for a lovely meal with three retirees I used to work with so I’ll post another time.)

Thursday 14th of February and of course Valentine’s Day, so if you’ve been following this week’s daily postings you’ll be aware the topic that weaves them all together (well hopefully) is women’s lingerie, jeeze even surprises me how my overactive imagination works sometimes. All good fun 🙂 .

Ok I know I’m a bit odd, stop nodding you’re not supposed to agree! And YES I did take those photographs above earlier this week, “why so Andrew?” Well today I’m asking myself, could a guy be prosecuted for indecent assault, you know if he was to ‘touch up’ a Department Store clothing mannequin when ‘she’s’ wearing sexy underwear? 

No I didn’t but I can’t say I wasn’t tempted!

All this past week after alighting from my commuter bus in the centre of Oxford, I pass these three on the way to work, but because our early mornings are still dark dazzling halogen spotlights almost bring them alive, in fact on the first morning they caught my eye and I had to do a ‘double-take’ they are that realistic……………. I should add being as it’s nearly Valentines Day there are many more displays similar to this, AND what’s with ALL these plastic models being six feet tall, slender and size 8 figures, what’s wrong with size 14 women gifted with child bearing hips and 34DD busts?

Good question no?

So begs the question, in the minds of the window dressers who are they actually trying to appeal to? Is it men so as they’ll buy sweet nothings for their significant other? Or women so that they can wear something sexy to excite and turn their man on? Not forgetting those confused women in lesbian relationships…………… no NO when I say confused I mean they’re both buying for both themselves also their partners……….. phew that was close! And I dare not mention we have skirt wearing Transsexuals at my place of work.

(I’m saying absolutely nothing, be true unto yourself that’s what I say)

So now I’m wondering can a sexy lingerie wearing shop mannequin ever be considered indecent? I’m absolutely convinced many Muslim men will find those three ‘women’ pictured above offensive, recently London Underground had to remove posters of models wearing brassieres because questions had been asked, I’d guess there’d been a social media sh#t storm or women’s Groups had asked why women’s bodies were being sexually objectified?…………. Jeez goodness knows what feminists would make of some of the posts on this blog.

However readers should be aware by now I adore women and am also a feminist, heavens we even have female engineering apprentices at work and why not, the days of girls only doing sewing and cookery at school and boys doing metalwork are long gone, and as it should be. Being serious for a second, and note I have addressed this topic before, #MeToo has changed Britain for the better because I’ve noticed men take a great deal more care with their language opinions and banter when around women.

Where was I? Oh yes me earlier today standing in the entrance to Debenhams department store taking photographs, I double checked to see no one was watching but no doubt I was being watched by their CCTV cameras, and I’ve just had a thought that’ll be twice now! (long story) So no I didn’t touch these three tasty plastic models up but they didn’t half look sexy, I guess that answer’s my earlier question doesn’t it, that women’s lingerie is purchased for their partner’s enjoyment…………… yes?

Discuss 😀 .

Before I leave you, this’ll be the first Valentine’s Day in 58 years that my dad hasn’t purchased a loving card for my mum 😦 . Isn’t memory robbing dementia is a wicked medical condition, I doubt he has any comprehension of what being married actually means? I’d guess in his own little world mum is now just a person who is always around the house at his ‘beck and call’, all terribly sad.

Anyways just so as to redress any perceived sexist imbalance, there’s not this is just for fun, but if anyone is unhappy here’s a photo whether you be straight or gay.

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Now I’m not gay but he is pretty fit!!!

Happy Valentine’s Day.

 

A. Shepherdson 2019