A woman flashed her underwear at ME!

I know I haven’t been around for a while, long story but not to worry.

Oh yes! A woman flashed her cotton panties at me today, so I’m wondering was lifting her dress accidental as I walked toward her, little more than her preoccupied wistful mind elsewhere, or lol was I the victim of a sexual assault? BECAUSE being serious for a second if I was to pull my trousers down in public, in full view of a pretty young woman walking toward me then I’d have some serious explaining to a Court Judge!

Nah of course not, pretty women can flash me their underwear to their young heart’s content.

Pleeeze God.

Frahm, Art, Ladies in Distress
‘The mysterious art of falling panties’, a series of paintings by Art Frahm (and note the dog’s eyes 😀 )

I had intended to write a Post featuring the work of 1950s artist ‘Art Frahm’, why an earth would he wish to paint young women in distress at the point of her panties having slipped down shapely legs? What’s more at the most inopportune moment and in full gaze of bemused ‘lucky’ guys, talk about women in distress! Without Googling the reasons why? (I never do) I’m lost for words apart from a woman’s letter posted to a magazine’s editor, apparently this scenario was prone to happen in 50’s America simply because knicker elastic wasn’t as strong as it should have been!

Hmm, I’m NOT convinced.

Where was I? Oh yes I’ll never forget today’s young lady DELIBERATELY showing me her panties, a photographic image now hardwired into my memory for as long as I live……… hence the reason I had to write a blog along with all my other sexy stories.

Cutting a short story even shorter (busy lives and all), today has been Britain’s hottest day this year, hence lunchtime break I just had to wander into Oxford City centre and women watch (judge me 😀 ) well I’d gotten but 50 metres from my workplace and what did I see on this gloriously humid sunny day? A young woman suddenly stopped 20 paces in front of me, there’s more! In one near choreographed movement, she lifted a hand toward her head removing a pair of spectacles, the finger’s of her other hand clasping the hem of a girly pastel dress, and wonderful for Andrew she lifted said dress in full view and proceeded to clean her obviously dirty glasses with the soft cotton fabric, and above her frigging WAIST I might add!

And yes TOTALLY unaware (?) this middle aged guy was but paces away gazing incredulously at her light blue pair of panties and long slender legs!

Life is a game of luck and chance and today was my lucky day.

I know I could hardly believe my eyes, still can’t, how I didn’t pass out there and then God only knows. Now with spectacle’s freshly cleaned, dress hem released and allowed to fall, the glasses were reposition affront a pretty face and she continued to wander past me as if the incident had never happened, there was no hint of a sweet smile, nope she didn’t even make eye contact, her unfazed expression betraying wistful thoughts and a mind elsewhere? 

I must admit I’m at a loss as to why any woman would lift her dress in public, reveal her underwear with mobile phones camera’s poised to send an image viral. Who knows why, perhaps there are people in this world who LUCKILY don’t care what other’s think? Anyways when I retold this tale back at work to basically anyone who’d listen, their mournful envious expressions betrayed the fact they’d missed a highlight of 2019. 

I’m joking!

Seriously though, days such as these are a sobering reminder, a reality check that at age 50 young women wandering past me in the street wearing buttock flashing hot-pants, micro skirts and tight fitting crop-tops revealing shapely wobbly boobage, ‘tees’ with plunging cleavage are ALL fabulous to behold, lovely and brilliant except young lady’s such as these will be thinking to themselves,

‘Sad old man looking at my tits, you’re (nearly) old enough to be my Grandfather Mr!’

Hmm a sobering thought indeed.

(Reading this post days later I’ll admit to over excited story telling, but in my defence I’d suggest voyeuristic moments such as these are an amusing big deal in any guy’s day and make for entertaining writing. Ok?)

A. Shepherdson 2019

 

 

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So MOMS do you consider yourself MILF?

A fun mild adult post with themes prompted by the current heatwave sweeping the UK, turns out my suggestion has come true, middle aged women in my home City have thrown caution to the wind and ditched their bras and I’m not being sexist remember, the older woman has found enough inner confidence to go braless and I’m NOT complaining.

Link to An open apology to women not wearing bras.

Perhaps I ought to say if you’re an adult who doesn’t understand what MILF stands for…….……… then lol perhaps this isn’t the post for you.

The-Graduate-5111_61
Anne Bancroft in The Graduate

When I sat down to write this post I thought to myself I so SO hope a few Moms are reading, now I understand ladies you are never going to comment and reply but lol I’ll ask anyway, if you are a woman of more mature years reading this post, I’m curious to know have you ever stopped and asked yourself am I a ‘MILF?’

Mom I’d Like to F#ck?

But hold on before disappearing rather disgusted by my all to personal question, I’ll have you know MILF is an affectionate phrase because we men all love sexy older women……….. nothing wrong in admitting human beings are sexual mammals. AND hold on before answering because this anacronym is applied to a very particular type of older woman, she has to be sexually attractive to young men 17-21yrs! And I’d go as far as to say most teenage boys will have had a crush on a friend’s Mom or School teacher at some point, a childhood fantasy and nothing else.

I know I did, age 14 my first love was Miss Aspley my massively boobed Physics School Teacher! A lovely woman and :/ the sobering thought is she’s probably no longer with us time moving on and all, but jeeze they must have been Double D’s at least!

Anyways that’s quite enough of talk of boobs or you’ll be giving me a #METOO tongue lashing 😀 .

Graduate_GQ_31Jan13_rex_b_1445x878
Dustin Hoffmann’s iconic line, “are you trying to seduce me Mrs Robinson?”

So what prompted this silly post rather than part 2 of my London daytrip? Well the reason quite simply is the post isn’t ready (needs polishing) but not to worry………. hmm I’ll publish it this Friday.

Streaming into my computer the other night courtesy of amazon prime I watched ‘The Graduate’ a movie I haven’t seen in years, actually I’d quite forgotten how great it is, no not great ‘The Graduate’ is a cinematic classic and I really enjoyed myself. I’ll spare you my own film review because you’ll all know the story of an older woman seducing a college graduate and if you have yet to watch then I heartedly urge you to, the screenplay is crisply paced, Simon and Garfunkel’s music fits beautifully and afterward I thought to myself’ I don’t think Dustin Hofmann has ever bettered his screen performance as Benjamin Braddock a very shy innocent young virgin!

And of course as all good films usually are, The Graduate is based on a novel by the same name, funny how great movie screenplays are inspired by great novels, all the special effects in the world can’t save a movie if the storyline is crap!!

At this point I’m wishing my readers are screaming “SAY SOMETHING ABOUT ANNE BANKCROFT FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE!” And yes Anne Bancroft is utterly devine, her portrayal as sexy seductress Mrs Robinson is truly iconic, perhaps unusual for its time an older woman seducing a college boy rather than the roles being reversed and I’d say Anne will forever be the poster lady for the anachronym MILF………….. the personification of older woman sexiness and sensuality, because what Anne lacks in youth she more than makes up for with her skills of seduction, hmm would the movie get made today with thoughts of creepy Weinstein and the like? I’d hope so because she doesn’t rape him.

So returning to my post’s premise MILF is far from being a disgusting term (here in the UK anyway) in conversation we men will endearingly use the phrase to describe a sexy older woman, a confident woman of such experience and aged eroticism that she’ll appeal to older teenagers! Hmm I wonder if the older woman wishes this could happen to them in real life?

So any Moms/Mums reading, do you consider yourself MILF? (I’d 😀 guess no one answers.)

A. Shepherdson 2018

A cure for Writer’s Block?

………..……………… write when aroused 😉 A response Post for Ray’s advice for curing writer’s block and note for fun….. :/ then again. (Btw my next post is rather a serious one)

A blogging tip for you, I’ve discovered after three months ‘writing’, and note ALL my own original work, I have discovered I write my 😉 ‘adult posts’ when I’m feeling a little frisky that’s sexually excited to you!

And I’m wondering if my stimulated mind is because my brain is experiencing a natural chemical induced high………….. and note the word natural, I’ve never taken drugs and neither should you, two teenagers died the other week having taken contaminated shit at a music festival………….. what a waste……. so tragic! 😦

But I’m at a loss as to the reasons why a slight hardness and a gentle twitch down below helps my writing process hmm all very strange? Yep for fear of labouring a point when I’m in the mood to create on WordPress, and I’m a touch sexually excited the sillier more explicit posts appear in my imagination, I just write and the mild adult themes pour out of me as if I’m day dreaming, take my post ‘open apology to women’ as an example…………………. all very odd! Ok hold on before you get tooo excited I should add I’m not hard for hours, jeeze NO!  

Perhaps those wonderful pleasure giving chemicals serotonin and dopamine secreted into our brains during sex makes writing easier, do you know what I think lovemaking chemical compounds make writing more enjoyable and sexually themed! Likewise adrenalin sharpens the senses and concentrates the imagination, quickens the heart when you’re about to orgasm perhaps I’m on to something here? And no I’m not writing this bs for the purposes of a humorous post! (Ok I’ll agree I’m writing bs LOL) …… anyways I thought I’d share this writing tip with all you lovely bloggers out there.

(Puts his laptop into hibernation for half an hour whilst he takes a lovely skin tingling shower, warm water flowing down his slim lightly toned figure.)

I’ve been thinking about this post in the shower and note the only place to idly dream up really good blog ideas, and yes I definitely find writing easier when ever-so slightly sexually stimulated or perhaps we’re more creative when we feel particularly happy, no let me rephrase creative in a certain way because many great works of fiction begin in dark recesses of an author’s imagination. I know my posts are absolutely dire when I’m depressed……….. and btw do you find the biggest frustration is being halted in free flow by a sentence which can be written 3 totally different ways, each as good as the other, yet for the life of you, you cannot choose which to use!

Hmm why not give writing a try when you’re sexually ‘turned on’ 😉 , the results could be hilarious awful or gloriously sensual but remember WordPress have mature content rules 🙂 .

A. Shepherdson 2018

An open apology letter to women not wearing bras!

‘Strap’ yourselves in this is a LONG one! 😀

Early evening thoughts with MILD adult themes…………. honest and respectful as always (comment if you’ve had your fill of my female sexual observations and objectification of the female human animal’s body)………….. my imagination I fear is out of control 7 o’clock at night, I’m incorrigible, my hardness is excited and twitching hence I write because these posts are fun and keep me interested when WordPress feels a lonely place……… 123 ahhh 😀

Does anyone honestly think this photo below is offensive? 

public-braless-4

A question for you, why is the female breast nipple such a big deal for a guy? And I’d agree with you ladies who say nipples shouldn’t be, after all they have one purpose in life to allow a nursing baby to latch onto the breast and drink mum’s milky goodness, big f#cking deal? Then babes grow into healthy toddlers having benefitted from the nourishment natural milk brings, AND yet still in 2018 breast nipples visible in public are a big issue with guys (me as well)…………………… but then you ladies ALREADY know this!

I fear all men at heart are really bigger versions of immature juvenile adolescents, and over the past 35 years I’ve worked with many immature juvenile adults who sadly objectify the women’s body BUT are women equally as bad…………. that’s a whole different blog post!

Returning to breast nipples! 

Yes nipples for a guy are a big deal, however hard I try I cannot stop myself from noticing when either in the company of a braless woman, or looking when passing a young lady in the street who’s taken the brave and courageous decision (an awful statement but I fear they have) to go ‘free’ beneath her tightfitting orange tee shirt, as happened with the young lady Friday afternoon as she passed me in Oxford High Street……….. a heavenly vision of a naturel wonderment she was.

So to you Miss, and I know you wont be reading this silly blog post, but if you did I must apologise if I made you feel uncomfortable as I stared at your breasts bouncing and jiggling as you briskly walked along the pavement, I gazed for rather a long time I know, more than is appropriate, my defence is their perky exquisite shape was female perfection personified (note as are all ladies breasts are), yes I felt a little ashamed afterwards 😦 .

(Yes a little. And note this uncontroversial post will make sense by the finish)

I’m lol aware I’m afflicted and note from a respectful appropriate distance, I realise I have a boob obsession I’m going to seek medical help (I’m not but it’s a great line!) But then hasn’t God evolution and mother nature left all mankind gloriously captivated by these wonderous milky goodies……….. and yes I realise God and Darwinist theories of evolution are not happy bedfellows.

Guilty as charged, every lady I’ve ever been lucky enough to watch undress before we consummate, the second she takes her bra off I go weak at the knees and near pass out and I’m not joking for effect!

So returning to my Oxford lady wearing the orange tee shirt yes I’m guilty as charged for being utterly transfixed by her nipples perhaps made more prominent by the cold wind breezing down Oxford High Street……….. and being absolutely serious for a second I think my gaze made her feel uncomfortable and yes I am sorry because well………. I’m guilty of bullying! ……………………….. (But lol she smiled at me so all’s good 🙂 )

Honest of me to admit this don’t you think? Or are any female readers shaking their heads thinking to themselves this is the reason I never ever leave the house without first strapping those two ‘droopy girls’ into a medieval torture device, with sharp underwires that chafe the skin, made red and sore by a garment they cannot wait to fling off when first returning home so uncomfortable is the bra to wear.

Now seems as good a place as any to share a video I first watched months ago, the truth is I wanted to share a female’s perspective and Sophie’s video is well very very good. I’ve asked her permission which is right and proper and click ‘here’ for a link to Sophie’s YouTube ‘here’ for her Twitter (btw I do not Tweet!), Incidentally she’s a Vegan activist, guru to minimalist living and zero waste, practices Yoga and Pilates all very intriguing don’t you think? 

Sophie’s Video 🙂

Interesting watching wasn’t it, are you convinced and now for the rest of my breast nipple post!

(Depending on how this post fairs I have further posts themed breast implants and bra designs in draft………… btw you should SEE the content I have in draft lol I’d be shut down but NOTE I never ever show inappropriate photos on my blog!

But breasts are essential aren’t they, beautiful and however juvenile and adolescent you may think men are for looking, I’m afraid we’re utterly transfixed by a woman’s pointy hard nipples made evermore prominent with thin cotton fabric draping over their shape.

So what’s to do? What’s the answer and I would rather controversially suggest bras should be banned and made illegal, women should be fined prosecuted and sent to bra prison until they learn the error of their ways, instructed to comply with Laws that say wearing such a useless garment is well just plain wrong!

Hmm on reflection perhaps that’s a touch controversial…….. well perhaps :/ more than a touch?

Oh yes where was I? Nipples! Keep on-message.

But hold on perhaps if every woman lived her daily life as God intended, their body free of a garment designed to hide the nipple from men’s gaze, because that’s all I see they are because I’m reliably assured breasts become firmer, tendons become stronger when no longer constrained confined and unnaturally shaped by ill fitting bra cups as Marks & Spencer’s reliably says YOU are!

thRR9EV72QIf every woman went braless then perhaps nipples wouldn’t be the novelty for men they presently are?

Picture left is a Googled image btw, both are!!

Because Britain is gloriously in the midst of a warm humid summer heatwave, on three separate occasions this week I’ve seen a woman in Oxford braless beneath her dress AND for my sins I can picture all three, yes a sad fact to admit but I can visually recall all err sixes shape bounce jiggle and prominent nipple, I take my proverbial hat off to the ladies having the guts to go au naturel because the unwanted attention from wandering male gazes must be near unbearable a sad fact of life but I fear the way God made us.

I’ll leave this rather light hearted post brimming full of uncontroversial slightly male chauvinistic observations with one final anecdote.

As a male child of age thirteen, a coming of age in a young man’s life lol, I remember first visiting the South of France for our summer holiday, and until my dying day I’ll never forget my first day visiting the sandy beach affront of a warm Mediterranean sea. Unforgettable not for being my first time there, no astonishing because the thought hadn’t ever crossed my mind that back in the 1980’s virtually every woman enjoying the sun sea and sand wouldn’t be wearing a bikini top!

Unbelievable incredible, I remember I thought I’d died and gone to heaven but importantly this day was before the internet, pre YouTube, digital cameras were a pipe dream, these were the days a woman could get her tits out knowing for certain their photo wouldn’t become a viral image and shared around the world? These were the days before home PC’s, hard-drives and picture folders, years before adult websites we’re informed drive internet content, no back in the 80’s a woman could take her bra off in the perfect knowledge no one cared apart from teenage boys………. oh and their dad’s!

Hmm thinking about it, that virtually covers all male mankind.

But here’s a thing! After lol an hour or so the novelty of first seeing a woman’s boobs passed by, truthfully and I’ve mentally run this thought many times, after one hour of incredulous staring women’s unfettered boobs became a perfectly natural ‘jiggling pendulous’ sight, and I guess by the end of the day on the beach breasts had near lost their sexual appeal (well nearly). Bare breasts had honestly become accepted as the new normality, no longer a big deal and in fact a woman would have appeared out of place odd and unusual if she HAD been wearing a bikini top!

Unbelievable I know, but if you’d been bathing on that beach however a prim proper classy sophisticated ‘good girl’ you are, oh yes your tits would be a swinging, the cool air sea breezes making your nipples go hard and pointy…………….. that’s ENOUGH Andrew!!

😀

So there you are, controversial opinions I know, but if bras were banned and everywoman enjoyed life free of this ridiculous garment, her shoulder tendons would be stronger, there wouldn’t be these unfounded irresponsible theories of bra’s being connected to cancer (I’m here to tell you they exist controversial or not and I think they’re wrong but what do I know) AND men wouldn’t notice the jiggle! Then I can assure you the sight of prominent nipples as with my Oxford lady in orange tight fitting tee shirt, would become the new norm and perfectly acceptable and yes no longer a big deal!

So have I convinced you to bin your bra yet? 

©A. Shepherdson 2018.

doggy (mild adult themes)

15-doggy-position-funny-cartoon

Always remember (please try I know this can be difficult) I’m DEFINITLY NOT a sex blogger but I’m no different to every other adult walking this spinning planet, I experience funny urges you all do, so being as I’m an observational ‘writer’ and adults are sexual animals therefore life and love will time to time combine together in a post………….. so if you’re under 18 you’ll find NOT a jot of interest here…………….. incidentally if you’re over 18 :/ you may not either………… but hopefully yes.

So if you’ve been following this Blog closely you’ll understand my favourite’s cowgirl, if you didn’t already realise there are 64 BECAUSE having followed my tales you’ll now know there are 64 so hopefully you should be asking yourself ‘how many have I tried with another human being male or female?’ Oh and be aware you can lose 250 calories missionary and I’ve yet ONE more nugget of adult information for you namely a ladies favourite clothes free fun and games activity is doggy!

I’d bet you didn’t know that or lol perhaps it’s fake news 😀

If you’re unaware, I’ve been near obsessed trying to figure how many I have been enjoying with a lady? Just the other day I was sat in my Doctor’s surgery note absolutely nothing to do with you know whats, and I found myself picking up a magazine from the waiting room coffee table THEN proceeding to jot down this numbered list of how many I’ve tried? I counted 7 but then I thought being sucked is a definite but is spanking a bottom whilst being sucked an on its own position? Or a variation of one theme? Still lol passes the time jotting any type of list whatever that may be, I only hope someone rather intrigued doesn’t ask me what I’m doing!

If at this point reading you’re none the wiser and haven’t an earthly as to what I’m hinting to? Then shame on you for not Following my blog btw I’m ONLY joking! And further still apparently, and read carefully, a ‘Lady of the Night’s’ favourite is yes you’ve guessed doggy, so if you enjoy being uhmm from behind then perhaps keep in mind you could work in the service industry, upmarket because all you reading right now I know are classy men and women!

Hmm :/ after reading this insightful observation of female positional preference, taken from the internet incidentally, and yes after having taken her from the rear I got to wondering why so popular with 51% of the population? I guess crouched on the bed ‘all fours’ means you don’t have some great weight laying on top, not forgetting legs wide akimbo is a rather uncomfortable position to be ploughed into by some dribbling, gasping for air, over excited ‘person’?

But being serious for a second, again I guess because I actually don’t know the answer, I would imagine ladies can absently minded stare at the bed’s headboard without looking him in the face, especially if she had a headache and didn’t feel like it tonight, but she resigned herself to keeping partner content and happy so relented, but at least with doggy you could even read a book, plan next week’s food shop at the supermarket or ask yourself why are my in-laws such frigging hard work?

So yes why not go doggy, forearms pressed deep into the soft spongy quilt cover, allow him to at least touch you by only holding by the waist and MAKE him do all the work, whatever the reason it’s all very sedate, no effort and keeps hubby happy.

Apologies to any readers bored by my meandering adult observational musings, early evening thoughts!

A. Shepherdson 2018