Is Lust really a deadly sin?

If you are happily married, or happily co-habiting, you may find this post morally challenging though hopefully not, as always it’s just Andrew thinking out aloud 🙂 .

(Part2 follows, I have a lady neighbour who owns a dog!)

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Can two people be ‘only ever’ just good friends?

During those idle moments when one’s mind tends to wander there’s a question I often ask myself, would I sleep with a unhappily happily married woman?

The movie ‘When Harry Met Sally’ is a real favourite of mine and not because of Meg Ryan’s awesomely faked orgasm, a performance that’s more than a little disturbing to us men! No I’m fascinated by the premise at the story’s heart, the question Billy actually asks Meg namely can two people be ‘just good friends’ without the relationship becoming sexual OR heading that way until intelligence and good sense makes people stop and think! Can you be friends with that ‘special’ person at work without becoming romantically involved?

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Schoolteacher ‘Crushes’

File this under happy childhood memories, my first true love 🙂 .

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And NO Miss Steer didn’t resemble this cartoon school teacher, a great image though!

A thought just crossed my mind, I’d guess I’m not only person to have fallen in love with their school teacher, no love is tooo emotive a word, sexual infatuation fits better or is experiencing strong feelings towards an adult every child’s first real sexual awakening, a young teenager’s rights of passage have you will?

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Can I sit on your face? (NSFW)

Now I’d guess above is possibly the most unusual blog Title you’ve come across today, but here’s a thing I’ve got an interesting anecdote for you, remember Gemma with the wet kitty? Well this tale features Chantelle another adorable sexy lady I’ve bumped into on my journey through life 😉 .

Jeeze a producer could take these two stories, weave into a narrative joining the sexy scenes together, choose from two age40+ actresses to play the female roles cause they’re always moaning about the lack of work for older women, then make a film about a guy’s oral bedroom escapades!…………….. ok perhaps not 😀 .

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😮 I’m not joking when I say I could hardly breath!

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Is objectifying the naked human body (either sex) acceptable?

A post not to ‘overthink’ about for tooo long. And used in the correct circumstances ‘that phrase’ is justifiable! 🙂 .

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I see absolutely nothing wrong with the image above, PeTA took a lot of abuse for this one but really? Perhaps if this beautiful black lady was a white blue eyed blonde……… then again she’d be politically incorrect!!

My two blogging rules of thumb are, to enjoy the writing creativity process and would I enjoy reading? If yes then I publish, if I regale the beauties of a woman’s wonderous body then all’s the sweeter 😀 .

Sexism (noun): prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women on the basis of sex.

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Another day. Another Twitter sh#tstorm!

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“Here’s a pic of me at work… think about this before your derogatory comments, animals,” Harris posted under this picture on Twitter

I do love the internet because amongst all the horror stories from across the globe, on any single day you can always be guaranteed Twitter will become engulfed by a social media shitstorm, a polarised debate between two opposing groups of mortally offended keyboard warriors working themselves up into a frenzy.

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Virginity musings

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(Categorise this post under thoughts and opinions, it is what is, me thinking out aloud 🙂 .)

Virginity – dictionary definition – untouched unspoilt untainted unadulterated pure and ‘in mint condition!’ (a lot of un’s in there!)

Oh and a little free advice for you, ‘wait for that special person, wait many years if needs be, but don’t under any circumstances give your most precious personal possession to someone who DOESN’T deserve it!’ Now please read on. 😀

Go on-line and you may stumble across an internet forum revealing ‘men’ will pay good money to bed a virgin first, I know incredible or what, Oxford University Students have been selling theirs on-line, that’s until quite rightly eBay put a stop to such inappropriate behaviour :/ then again there is that student loan to pay for?

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Missionary (& NSFW)

I guess the truly intriguing side to WordPress is musing ‘I wonder who reads my blog?’ Hmm interesting, so previously in a blog post I’ve told you the length of an average erect penis, you may be aware Karina is a lady I meet inside Motels, and btw not even I know what the following post will be about?

(A Charles Dickens themed London trip follows sooon!)

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I was reminiscing the other day, recalling happy memories, enjoying thinking about the women I’ve slept with throughout my adult life, now without breaking confidences my Virginity was taken many years ago by a lovely lady named err let’s call her Jemma, yes not her name but Jemma suits her. Now I’ll refrain from letting you in on that wonderful afternoon because I’ve already written a post sharing that fabulous experience, very emotional and possibly the best afternoon of my life…………. btw this tale will appear on a blog near you sooon! 

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WOW you’ve a cute Ass! (NSFW)

Erotic flash fiction (original & by meee!)  

Never assume that guy standing behind you in ‘The Deli’ queue is deciding which soft cheeses to buy!

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Standing behind you in our shared bus queue, so close I could reach out my arms encircle your waist and draw you close into me, that hard bump below, my aroused groin pressing deep against your shapely pert bottom nestling between two barely visible peach shaped ass cheeks…………… but alas I can’t, I shan’t, I won’t nor ever would………. I value my reputation, cherish my liberty tooo dearly to put my fingers inside a sugary delicious sweetie jar. 

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SATS, niece & Bugsy Malone!

Intriguing Title no? Call this post Creative Writing part 2 or whatever lol.

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Yesterday was both lovely and sad, lovely because my sibling and daughter came over to stay over for the night with my mother, sad because we all as a family visited my father in Hospital, not the most enjoyable of experiences but there you old age creeps up on every one of us and the best we can do is make life comfortable for him.

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Donald Trump’s America

Genuine colour photographs taken of Britain in the 1950s, the member’s of the public pictured aren’t actors and the film hasn’t been colourised! (Alas I’ve misplaced the link to the website.)

🙂 I’d loved to have lived in 1950’s England, but I’m wondering was life back then as idyllic as the photos suggest? Or am I suffering from a condition that afflicts many people my age, wishing for ‘the good old days’ that never were! 

Because I’m a Brit I don’t follow closely all the political goings on within America unlike in my own Great Britain, a broken Country that once had ‘it all’ then either gave ‘it all’ away or had it taken, a once great nation, the trouble is now I cannot avoid watching awful Brexit news and Brexit madness across the internet.

Anyways returning to my theme today, America! 

I’ve never visited the US and would love to one day before I ‘pop my clogs’ so to speak, I’m really am a big fan, whether following politics or life in general America is captivating and enthralling. Yes I’m a political animal who’s chosen not to discuss politics and religion on the internet, forthright opinions only upset and annoy readers so what’s the point, and I’m convinced people are more interested in writing as an antidote to real life as opposed to………….. jeeze where do I honestly begin?

Viewing America from over here on the opposite side of the pond I’m a fascinated observer, I’m a space nerd and truly grateful America landed a man on the moon later returning him home safely. A brief anecdote for you, one afternoon several years ago, laying beneath a warm duvet spread out on the living room sofa, I watched live footage from the final space shuttle flight to service Hubble, in total I think I watched NASA’s live stream a solid 18 hours a day, as astronauts meticulously replaced Hubble’s Giros and electronics using simple tools worth millions of dollars. Then only several days ago another American first as Dragon Module successfully docked with the space station.

A new space era begins.

With engineering skill, luck and a fair wind the prospect of man yet again walking upon the moon’s surface is a distinct possibility and I truly hope I live that long because yes as you know I love viewing the moon through my telescope, I’d be beside myself with joy and excitement if man returned.

So I’m asking myself how bad (media opinion) can life truly be living in Trump’s America? No one can doubt he loves his Country and puts America first, severs trading with countries who employ cheap labour and import good which close American factories down and put people out of jobs, he’s building a wall to halt the influx of South American migrants from illegal entry, not forgetting the walking caravan of drug dealers and Muslim extremists….. he’s putting America first, standing up for the ‘common man’, upholding a treasured Constitution and preserving a national identity thus ensuring it’s people a good quality of life……… you cannot knock him for being a patriot.

Btw I’m not being sarcastic!

After Brexit and I win the lottery I may even emigrate there………… or Australia………… or Ireland, trouble is I don’t play the lottery! 

( 🙂 please feel free to comment.)

 

©A. Shepherdson 2019

 

 

 

Creative Writing, you mean there are rules?

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I haven’t a writing Topic planned for this week, there’s family issues with my father having been admitted to hospital, however I will be exploring a theme inspired by watching one of those ‘Grammarly’ videos which precede EVERY YouTube video I seem to watch!! I’m wondering whether clever Google are aware I have a WordPress? Hmm plausible and are they tailoring my ad-stream towards writing sites? …………… Makes me wonder!

So the question I’m pondering this evening is if writer’s of Fiction use one of these gramma correction apps/websites? I don’t, never have and never will apart from spellcheck!

Now what I’m about to admit to you isn’t false modesty, I often ask myself ‘do I have a have creative writing ability?’ Because I’m aware I break many golden rules……… trouble is I wasn’t aware of them in the first place?

“To my great dismay, the English Language has no enforceable laws, much less someone to enforce the laws it doesn’t have.”

(‘An Utterly Correct Guide to Clarity and Style’ by Benjamin Dreyer.)

I very much doubt Benjamin Dreyer would object to me quoting him without permission, seeing as I’ve taken the time to read excerpts from his highly readable thought provoking book! However here’s a thing, Benjamin also went onto share what he suggests is a golden rule, yet in my untrained opinion this passage is a terrible read:

‘Certain prose rules are essentially inarguable—that a sentence’s subject and its verb should agree in number, for instance. Or that in a “not only x but y” construction, the x and the y must be parallel elements.’

Uhh? What?

Speaking as someone who, right here and now, couldn’t accurately explain what a verb is I’m coming around to the realisation I almost certainly break golden rules, and again according to Benjamin (my third and final reference) he suggests the four C’s, Convention. Consensus. Clarity. Comprehension help us use words to their optimum purpose, thus enabling us to communicate exactly what we are trying to say to our reader!

Incidentally what works for me is I download the conversation going on inside my brain at the time onto a laptop.

I think it’s at this point I forget completely Mr. Benjamin Dreyer and his English Language rules………….. I’ll only confuse myself.

Have you ever watched a chat show host interview a great stand up comedian and ask him or her,

“Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why your jokes make people laugh?”

A bloody stupid question I’ve heard asked many times, and it’ll come as no surprise the answer is always “NO”. And what a dumb question because stand up comedy, holding an audience in the palm of your hand, is an artform as comparable to any great wordsmith.

As an aside the nicest compliment anyone has paid to me is, ‘you made me laugh’………….. on WordPress that is not in bed!!

Analyse and distil the essence of what makes he or she funny and the comic will probably lose the gift of humour. Similarly should a writer be tooo over introspective trying to workout the reasons why people enjoy reading their prose? You know distil out the secret, formulate a potion so making them the next JK Rowling? Sell millions of books, become a millionaire, leave Brexit fiasco Britain and go live with D. Trump.

Now to the thorny question of my own creative writing ability, err my erotica sexy stories, let’s just say I enjoy writing them and let’s not ask tooo many questions shall we, 😀 incidentally I have 3 more tales in draft. 🙂

Finally a question for you please, if you are a writer of novels, or have novels electronically accessible on Kindle, do you apply specific grammatical rules throughout you story? How an earth does a writer manage to blend phrasing rules seamlessly into text without spoiling/confusing a plot? 

Until next time,

©A. Shepherdson 2019 (650 words, that’s 😀 short for me)

Sexy, a fashion nightmare for the older woman?

Just for fun 🙂 .
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“Mutton dressed up as Lamb” Is a British way of describing a (deluded) older woman who is dressed in a style more suited to a younger woman, also slightly derogatory because she’s deliberately trying to appear young.

Or you may prefer Bernadette Matthews definition at mumsnet.com: 

‘Too much leg and cleavage on show at the same time!’

Regular readers to this WP will be aware I love interacting with other writers, well this evening I’ve a response post prompted by the excellent LA and her thought provoking blog Forever21, I urge you to follow she’s possibly my favourite blogger, slightly irreverent, ladles of honest American attitude and oozing oodles of common sense,.

‘I dressed in an outfit that I thought was good for the event and that I felt confident in. And basically, this is how you should feel when you walk out the door. A friend saw a picture of me and said that I looked stylish and sexy, which of course was my exact goal. But then I started to wonder- was I starting to push it?

So, while we were on line, I said this to my friend, who is in excellent shape and looks great for any age, and she simply shook her head and said “Yeah. I know. When do we actually look good for our age, and when do we start to look ridiculous.”

Ok I agree, LA probably didn’t have the derogatory and unfair ‘label’ mutton dressed up as lamb’ at the point of her writing ‘when do we look good for our age and when do we start to look ridiculous’, but hey they make interesting bedfellows don’t you think?

I’d suggest the what to wear dilemma hardly ever crosses a guy’s mind, I’m age 50 and feel completely comfortable wearing charcoal black jeans matched with a light blue Oxford long sleeved shirt, perhaps a sweater and smart shoes, all very casual, a look I could wear at work or down the pub of a weekend and I’d guess no one gives me a second glance………. HOWEVER I have no doubt what NOT to wear is a real headache for the older woman!

So as I’m at a lose end I did a little on-line surfing all in the name of research, oh and because I’m a guy who knows sweet FA about fashion! Then I happened across this jewel of Debenham’s research which said,

‘When it comes to fashion, nine in ten women aim to dress younger than their years. And more than half say they won’t start ‘dressing their age’ until they are at least 70’, further ‘Over half said they began to dress younger in their 30s and 90 per cent admitted they had started to dress younger by their mid-40s’.

Now LA’s a lady who loves lists and these Top 10 Items You’re Too Old to Wear, read as brilliant advice, and remember I know sweet FA about fashion, clueless, however I’m as quick to judge and point my finger as every other guy so why not give an opinion! Hmm, and I wouldn’t disagree with their 10 ‘fashion minefields’,

  1. Message tee shirts
  2. Too trendy denim
  3. Costume shoes
  4. Micro mini skirts
  5. Anything Showing Excessive Cleavage/Visible or coloured bra straps.
  6. White, Ribbed Cotton Tank Tops
  7. Hair gadgets
  8. Oversized decorated Hobo Bags
  9. Cheap unflattering underwear
  10. Loud accessories

“But trying too hard only calls attention to yourself – it’s overcompensating. You don’t need to dress like a teenager to look young.”

As I’ve said before I’m a keen observer of the human female mammal, read my posts, and I would suggest the true bananas skin, fashion fau-pa opportunity is sexiness, get it wrong wear a short a black leather skirt, heals inches too high, blouses too low cut are a recipe for unwanted attention from men, and disapproving looks from women worried about losing their man and I ain’t saying nothing about looking like a hooker!

Just avoid anything four inches or more above the knee and add tights to make a short skirt less risqué, say the experts. Or wear chic straight skirts, classy being the watchword, allowing you to show off some curves without making you look as though you’re pretending to be born after the Bill Clinton years!

It’s a worry but classy is the watch word, trouser jeans you can wear from the PTA meeting to a party when paired with the right top, stylish padded shoes with wider thicker heels and definitely avoid anything that shows excessive cleavage or visible coloured bra straps……….. or any underwear for that matter.

0818a65ff44362f28e79ebac376d6ec2I realise the older woman would never be caught dressed like this, whoever lol thought low-cut jeans and thongs was a good idea? But I guess the saying ‘you’re only young once applies!

Apparently the more mature lady ‘shouldn’t feel she needs to show it all off. Anything below the middle of your bustline has got to go,’ ‘A little goes a long way,” and no excessive ‘boobage’ past the age of 40, displaying too much sagging skin apparently is a no no, so go for a blouse underneath, unbutton a few buttons and you’re going to look sexy but classy’.

Having said all that, the summer of 2018 was one of Britain’s hottest, and I can recall as if yesterday sitting on the top deck of a bus, looking out the window and watching a woman age 65 if a day. Totally captivated I was, for this mature lady in her blue pencil skirt and restrained high heels wore a tight fitting tee shirt with, wait for it, no bra! And all I’ll add to that is she was a ‘big girl’ yet looked both classy and ravishing!

Way to go madam.

And now we arrive at number 9 ‘Cheap, Unflattering Underwear’ and I’ll profess to being an interested expert! As I’ve written before M&S tells us most women are not fitted properly, a woman’s breasts and body sags so I guess underwear needs to be as supportive as it is sexy.

Having said all or that, our Group Secretary at work throughout Summer wears low cut print dresses displaying her ample assets, the only trouble is us Technicians are NOT listening to our lecturing Professor! Yep I agree, appropriate sexiness is where an older woman can look classy or yes ‘Mutton Dressed Up as Lamb’.

And finally advice from the experts.

“Every woman must make her own decisions about when to break the rules, but what you’re striving for isn’t to look youthful – it’s to look ageless, this way, you’re going to look fabulous because the look is appropriate for you.”

A. Shepherdson 2019

How Long is an Average Length? (Penises)

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2 questions for you, do you know the average length of a human male erect penis? Also have you ever wished to know? If so read on!

I’m a respectfully playful soul on-line, all good fun and it passes the time quite pleasurably, so having tagged this post NSFW, I think it’s ok to share a question that’s sparked and arced my juvenile imagination for as long as I can remember, namely ‘how long is an average length?’ Btw please note this post’s content is about on a par as a woman’s magazine or an encyclopaedia!

Let me begin.

So yes I’m wondering this evening, how long is average length in inches OR centimetres? And no we’re not talking about the length of my telescope! So what do you do when you have a question that’s always puzzled you? You Google ’cause the days of visiting the library are alas long gone…………. yikes it’s been ages since I last visited a public library 😦 .

Amazingly, as of this moment in time I can only remember asking one lady this rather unusual question, and she gave hand-relief for a living! Well think for a second it’s just not the question to ask in polite company is it, women that is, because we men will discuss our lengths until the proverbial cows come home and compare when group showering………… oh yes we will, and do!!

Before I get to the point of sharing my vital statistics, and you just knew I was going to share my length didn’t you? Here are a few facts and figures to keep you amused. And yes I did once get a steel rule out to measure, I’ll admit to that one lol. So let’s talk statistics shall we, yes I researched facts and figures on the www, then blended with my own thoughts and opinions as always, that is apart from several highlighted quotations lifted from appropriate websites, i.e. thoughts on body image!

A collaboration between King’s College and our very own NHS polled 15,521 men, wow that is some serious studying, measuring both their penis length and girth when erect, now wait for it! Are you sitting down comfortably?

The average length of a penis when erect is 13.1cm/5.16″, now didn’t you always wish to know that? And there’s more, the average girth (circumference) is 11.6cm/4.59″ now I have to say if that’s the average then I’m feeling rather deflated!

You want more stats? Ok, the average length when flaccid is 9.2cm/3.16″ and the average softened girth is 9.32cm/3.67″, again I’m feeling slightly deflated if you’ll excuse the pun!! Now if all those figures seem low to you, it just goes to show the size of one’s penis isn’t such a big deal after all, and perhaps the length of a man’s aroused member, swollen appendage ain’t worth worrying about anyway!

More stats? I’ve got them! Only 5% of erect penises are bigger than 16cm/6.3″ long, now that figure cheered me up no end (excuse the pun), likewise only 5% of men have a penis shorter than 10cm/3.94″.

And now to growing old? For those of us closer to the end than the beginning penis size does get shorter with age, men in their 60’s to 70’s may lose 0.4″ to 0.6″ in penis length and interestingly, I never knew this, any increase in body fat percentage can result in the penis appearing smaller as a man ages………… now there’s an incentive for keeping one’s weight down, 0.4″-0.6″ may not seem a lot to a guy but it may mean the world to your partner!

More facts and figures? Ok one more, an internet-based survey of more than 50,000 men and women revealed 45% of men would like a larger penis.

‘Each penis is unique and boys develop at different ages and rates. During puberty, usually between the ages of 11 and 18, the penis and testicles develop more rapidly, although the penis doesn’t stop growing until the age of 21.’

So what does the fair sex think? 

Several studies that I happened across during my not so scientific research, suggested penis size is much lower on their list of priorities than for say, personal grooming also a man’s personality and all I can say is thank goodness for that! That’s the best news I came across all evening! In fact 85% of women were satisfied with their partner’s erection whereas only 55% of men were satisfied with the length of their own, and speaking for myself every guy is so very proud of his own appendage but when asked we’d all admit that we’d prefer a longer one……………. now I detest visual pornography but I did happen to watch a movie starring this black guy by the name of ‘Mandingo’, incredibly he had a 30cm/12″ penis and what’s more he knew how to use it!!

😮 12″ ffs!

According to a Professor Wylie on the internet? (Seriously the website said ‘Wylie’, or were they taking the piss?)

“It may come as a surprise to some young men, but most women have very little interest in the size of their penis and that’s been shown in numerous studies over time, research shows that when it comes to sex, women are much more interested in whether you are romantic, tender and sensitive to their needs and desires than your penis size.”

Yet more data for you, and come on be honest we all like comparing our preferences to national statistics. A published report by UCLA no less, showed 84% of women feel “very satisfied with their man’s penis size”, though that doesn’t differentiate between girth and length? Yes men worry whether their penis will sexually satisfy their partners but apparently we men can get equally anxious worrying about how we look naked, and personally speaking how my body is perceived by a lady does worry me!

And now we come to that old chestnut does size matter? Of particular concern for some men is whether their penis will be sexually satisfying for themselves also their partner, and according to the internet, when it comes to sexual intercourse bigger may not always be better, now there’s some good news for you!

In yet another study, researchers interviewed 75 sexually active women asking what size of penis they would prefer for a one-night stand, apparently they preferred a 16.25cm/6.4″ erect penis and a mind blowing 12.7cm/5″ in girth, that’s circumference to you keep up, 5″ wow that’s BIG!! However women in long term relationships preferred a 16cm/6.3″ long penis with a girth of 12.2cm/4.8″, now in my opinion that’s still one big penis!

Yet another similar study of women’s preferences, published in BMC Women’s Health, found that penis girth was more important than length for sexual satisfaction, hmm interesting!

And what about people with big feet? Yeh that old wives tale. Well no evidence has been found linking penis size to foot size or ethnicity, so a no to that fake news, and like I said it is believed that a higher BMI and old age are weakly associated with a shorter erect penis……….. and note, there is some truth in the fact men who drive big cars have small dicks!

Btw if you are a guy reading this just for fun post and wish to measure your own length erection, get a rule then measure from the base where it connects to your pubic bone, right to the tip of your glans which is the bellend purple helmet, however don’t forget to subtract any additional length associated with foreskin, that’s cheating! As for girth, I measured the width of my shaft inserting the figure into a maths equation 3.14xD or 2×3.14xR.

Oh and I came across this gem observation,

‘Feeling inadequate can really damage a man’s self-confidence and affect his social life. It can lead to issues from being unable to using public urinals or shared shower rooms, to avoiding intimate relationships.’

Well personally speaking I have never ever looked at a man’s penis when inside public urinals, jeez can’t you get arrested for that? But being serious for a second I guess a worried teenager/young man could feel inadequate, leading to low-self esteem, affect his relationship with women but the good news is all this research tells us women aren’t to bothered by size anyway? Similarly research sadly appears to show anxiety about penis size may arise after taunts from other children during adolescence, or remarks from a sexual partner and I can imagine that level of bullying would hurt.

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(Left, a Greek statue)

And finally penises of course feature throughout art history and culture……. As we know from cave paintings and ancient sculpture man has always placed great importance on the size of his penis, with many cultures associating penis size with masculinity, what’s more throughout the ages, long penises had come to symbolise qualities such as virility, fertility, strength, ability and courage. Some cultures even went to extreme lengths to try to increase the size of their penis, and don’t imagine I already know these following two nuggets of trivia because I didn’t, apparently Indian mystics known as Sadhus had been known to stretch their penis from an early age by hanging weights on it, while the Topinama tribesmen of Brazil encouraged poisonous snakes to bite their penis to enlarge it.

Ouch!!

If you suffer from low self esteem here are a few tips to help with positive body image, incidentally lifted directly from one of those Medic websites and so very true.

‘If you’re unhappy with your body, whether it’s the size of your penis or the look of any other part of you, try these helpful tips for feeling better about yourself:
Focus on the characteristics and body parts you do like, such as broad shoulders or a nice smile.
Maintain a healthy weight and incorporate strength training into your exercise routine. If you look fit and healthy, you may feel better about yourself.
Don’t become consumed by penis size. You can be a satisfying sexual partner regardless of the size of your penis.
Don’t compare yourself to athletes, models, and actors. You’ll develop an unhealthy and unrealistic image of what is normal and how you should look.
Spend more time and energy on pursuits you find rewarding, whether it’s sports, hobbies, traveling, or other activities. Lasting self-esteem comes from nonphysical traits, such as creativity, intelligence, and your values.’

Wouldn’t you agree that’s sound advice for life in general?

So I guess if there’s any conclusions to be made, it appears plenty of men wonder if they are at or near the average penis size, when the actual truth is a majority of men are within a close range of the average length and girth………………… hmm do I have tooo much time on my hands?

Oh yes I nearly forgot to say my appendage erect is a good percentage above average length, yay! But alas I’m a percentage smaller on girth the figure women Really worry about 😉 , and no I’m not saying by how much! 😀 

So is an average length of 13.1cm/5.16″ a surprise to you?

©A. Shepherdson 2019

(a day trip to) Highgate Cemetery

I have a conundrum for you this evening!

Thursday I travelled to London by coach with the aim of visiting Highgate’s Victorian Cemetery and yes it lived up to my expectations. I had promised a photo blog much the same as I’ve written before after one of my daytrips, however, alas I have only 3 photos for you pictured below of the imposing Gothic gated entrance, the centrepiece 200+ year Circle of Lebanon Cedar tree and a view taken from the pathway.

So why so few photos? Well our Tour guide said camera photography was permitted, yet no one did perhaps for no other reason than taking pictures of the dead seemed disrespectful? A Cemetery after all is a peaceful quiet place of eternal rest anyways not to worry.

Which all means I’ll have to exercise my brain (with a twist) and write about the day instead.

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My photo of the imposing entrance. Imagine 150 years ago horse drawn carriages, their manes adorned with plumes of black feathers entering by these gates.
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Now I am really pleased with this photo of the ‘Circle of Lebanon’ damaged by sunstrike, AND yes I was looking toward a low spring time sun but I like the photo. Alas this dying Cedar tree’s days are numbered but I’ve given you a hint of sunken vaults in the foreground.
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My photograph surreptitiously taken from the winding snaking gravel pathways

I guess each person within our tour party would have loved to spend the afternoon roaming the cemetery’s many vaults, mausolea, statues, catacombs and other treasures, but alas our lovely ‘super efficient’ tour guide had a schedule to be kept to, wandering stragglers at the rear were given a sharp,

“Do keep up now!”

The lady sounding rather like a brusque, rather annoyed headmistress with her cut glass posh English accent…………. but there you are who can complain when her 70minutes tour blessed with many fascinating facts, dates and true tales was so interesting.

However!

Please remember if I’ve wetted your appetite for visiting and seeing for yourselves this wonder of Victorian London, please remember you CANNOT just turn up on the off chance because it’s not open to the public to wander in from the street! If you do you’ll be faced with my photo above with it’s large wrought iron gates locked tightly shut, but that does kinda add to the excitement, knowing that only a lucky few can visit each day. No you have to do some on-line preparation work before hand, and just imagine if this was open to the general public! Thousands of people walking traipsing wherever they wish, leaving coke cans and vandalising both the wildlife and structures with all peace and tranquillity disappeared.

Not to worry though, visit Highgate cemetery’s website and you can book a ticket for yourself and your partner (no under age8 children allowed), then pay £12.

Now through the wonders of Google here are several images below I’ve stolen borrowed from the net, look closely and you’ll see a photo of the centre piece cedar tree absent of sun-strike!

I quite took to our tour guide wearing her bright red shirt on a warm spring day, her tightly fitting slim blue jeans, a tall and slender lady no older than age60 and readers to this blog will know the older woman turns me on big time! Especially when she’s assertive bossy and domineering, but joking apart and being bluntly honest she was an extremely sexy specimen of aged womanhood, oh and with the hint of two gentle mounds of breasts beneath her scarlet shirt………….. that topped my day!

The lady’s most entertaining true tale, of which there were many, features the renowned Victorian anatomist and surgeon Henry Gray, similar to many of the interns beneath Highgate’s undergrowth he was a man famous of his day, and if you wish to know more then Wikipedia for other notable Victorians laying six feet under!

(Charles Dickens wife and children are buried here.)

Henry Gray’s headstone had only recently been discovered by a volunteer clearing from amongst the thousands of headstones, and ivy strewn undergrowth. Apparently as the story goes, during surgical operations he would try to cut as quickly as possible with his knife and saw because the patient was not under anaesthetic, though Gray did later discover ether would make the knifing procedure less painful. Again as the story goes, our lady guide told us Gray also holds the impressive record of most deaths in one single operation, because in his haste to amputate a man’s leg quickly, he cut three fingers off his assistant (who later died of infection), a member of the public watching (for as we were reminded this is where the term ‘operating theatre’ originates) dropped down dead, and of course the patient later died also succumbing to his injuries.

Three deaths during one operation, impressive no?

Of course the connection between infection and cleanliness of instruments hadn’t been discovered yet, much the same as Joseph Bazzalgette hadn’t yet discovered cholera was a water borne infection, the Victorians believing cholera was an airborne disease with horrific consequences, incidentally Bazzalgette invented London’s sewage system and yet another genius Victorian who shaped the modern world!

Incidentally Victorian high society was captivated by this new profession called surgery, but (apparently according to our gorgeous tour guide) surgeons were the superstar ‘must have dinner guests’ at parties of the time, but little did they know surgeons also paid unscrupulous London men to rob graves of their dear departed all in the name of practice and science, that’s until an act of Parliament allowed the dead from workhouses to be purchased and dissected. 

I guess the Anglican Church didn’t believe souls of the poor required saving?

The real irony of course is, Highgate was built a fortress with armed guards in order to keep grave robbers OUT which kinda amused me, and I wasn’t aware the vaults were fitted with bells because apparently Victorian Londoners biggest fear was waking alive after being presumed dead……….. now I can see the logic in that!

Hopefully I’ve given you a sense of how the Lady interwove different tales into one stream of consciousness, very clever and as she said sporting a rather wry grin, “Of course we did what every cash strapped charity would do! We contacted those wealthy Fellows Of the Royal College of Surgeons (FRCS), to see if they would be interested in helping pay for Henry’s grave to be cleaned”, and again as we were reminded ‘Gray’s Anatomy’ is still purchased today by bright eyed medical students embarking on their career in medicine.

There is so much more I could write about such as foxes visiting after dusk, the catacombs are home to a rare breed of spider having found it’s home inside the damp burial vaults, bats hang from the ceilings above lead boxed coffins, still visible the wooden casket having  decomposed and rotted away, tales of how Londoners could walk from Canning Town through fields and meadows to marvel at this the poshest Cemetery in England, and for a Brit that’s an astounding vision because the journey today is walked through street lined buildings! And George Michael is buried behind it’s strong high walls I guess in an effort to keep it hidden from view or from becoming a public shrine, jeez just imagine if his final resting place was open to musician following pilgrims and their posters!! 

Yes a truly amazing Victorian splendour with heaps of history and atmosphere and THANKFULLY no stories of ghosts!

Finally why not book on-line and go visit for yourselves, however note you cannot spend an afternoon doing as you wish but does that matter anyway? Oh and if you’re lucky you to may have an attractive sexy Grandma for a tour guide. 

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The ‘Egyptian Avenue’ taken from a print of the day, I think we were colonising Egypt at the time!!

 

©A. Shepherdson 2019

 

 

Weekend morning Fiction #41

‘The weekend is finally here, and that means that it’s high time for a glimpse into a new story. Well, to be more precise, a flash fiction that might have the potential to become a more complex story..… eventually.’ Alexandra Ispas

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Joshua Tree, ‘Where The Street’s Have No Name’

Today I’m reblogging original fiction written by a lady I Follow and yes the story is written for meee!!

Okay I should be less obtuse and qualify my boldish claim by saying authoress Alexandra Ispas’s blog ‘It’s A Small World’ is a place she write’s flash fiction every weekend, (my own reading genre isn’t fantasy but who says you must read specific genres?) Anyways retuning to this my introduction, Alexandra chooses a favourite album song of hers then writes a tale inspired by that song’s narrative and I enjoy reading her tales.

I only realised days later February 9th was my birthday as well! (Lol 😀 ?)

If you wish to read the lady’s original post click here: U2’s Where The Street’s Have No Name or alternately read below 🙂 and if you are a U2 fan then you’ll know doubt spot a few song lyrics in there. Enjoy 🙂

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(This time I’ll be creating a fantasy flash fiction out of U2’s song, ‘Where The Streets Have No Name’, a song requested by A. Shepherdson. Cheers for the inspiring idea!
Now, to get straight to the point, here’s a little fantasy for your craving imagination. I know you want it!)

An old man once told me that there’s a place without a name, a safe haven in a forgotten corner of the world. He said all contact with the outside was broken, so that peace and quiet would prosper.

These days, I craved for peace and quiet like I’d crave for air if it were to be taken from me. Yes, I craved peace and quiet like a page craves for ink and a flower craves for sunlight. I could do without it for a little while, but it wouldn’t be long before it would swallow me up and devour me to the core.

He told me:

“Take the street that has no name until all your love turns to rust. Beware the beating of the wind, but don’t fear it. Take shelter from the poison rain, for it is bound to strike if your path is true, and unnamed obstacles will slow you to a halt. Remember, it is better to pause and continue later than turn around and return where you began.”

Helpful.

I never found the street without a name. I asked for it, but, of course, all streets needed a name, so nobody knew one without it. Nobody in the mortal world. That could only mean one thing: the street without a name was in another world, one I took for certain was impossible to exist. Was the Faerie Realm truly real? And the Elven Forest and Giants’ Mountain? How about the Siren’s Lagoon and the Dragon’s Pearl Haven?

For the first time in my life, I saw these children’s stories with a whole new pair of eyes, but it was still too difficult to believe. In spite of all logic, I returned to the old man’s house at the edge of the village and ask him. What exactly, I would think about on the way, maybe, but I knew I had to see him. He was my only lead.

I only arrived as darkness fell like a curtain. As expected it appeared like the old man was home. Pale light shone through the smoky windows and the smoke of a warming fire rose through the chimney, its clouds disappearing without a trace in the night.

Knocking at the door didn’t help, so I allowed myself in with careful movements. Maybe he was asleep.

But what I found inside was nothing like what I had seen my last time there, and neither did I find the old man I was looking for. There was no chimney fire lighting up the furnished room and no presence of life whatsoever. As a matter of fact, the place I entered was not a room at all.

The stories were real.

I was in the Faerie Realm.

©Alexandra Ispas 2019 (She also write’s cookery posts!)

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(Yesterday’s visit to a famous Victorian London cemetery didn’t go entirely to plan, I had a lovely day but alas didn’t take any photos, in fact no one in our Tour Group did and perhaps the reason is a simple ‘photographing the dead is yes a little disrespectful’, but I’ll maybe still write about the day.)

 

Dana the Romanian masseuse (NSFW)

I didn’t finish my intended Friday’s post, so instead I’m going to reblog a (favourite) tale I first published September 2018…………. however before I begin you’ll need to be reminded what a Happy Ending is, it helps my narrative (also brings to a close my Topic for the week, some may say “thank goodness”).

Urban Dictionary defines ‘Happy Ending’ thus: ‘When a masseuse feels inclined to finish your session with oral sex or manual release’…………… and forget the word inclined that’s what I paid her to do! 

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One blustery autumn afternoon in late September, a few months ago now! You’d have found me laying naked on my back, not a stitch of clothing on my body, my legs wide apart and a Romanian lady by the name of ‘Dana’ kneeling before me, a truly beautiful gorgeous lady gazing down upon me, a delicious wicked smile across her face oh and the reddest glossiest lipstick you ever did see.

“Do you enjoy giving gentleman hand relief?” I inquired,

And when you ‘come’ to think of it massaging a male client’s back muscles with dexterous skillful fingertips, finishing the massage with one hand gently curled around his erection and gently rolling his testicles between thumb and finger with the other, has to be one of the strangest occupations ever!

“Yes I do honey”,

Dana answered with a wicked grin, her lubricated right hand rhythmically stroking my love length and circling my purple helmet with warming palms, the joyous tingles and pleasurable sensations coursing from the tip of my penis down to my groin are near indescribable………… only men understand how gorgeous and beautiful those stimulated nerve endings alter his mind, his breath quickens, his hardness bucks and pulses as he draws ever closer to climax.

I once gleaned from secretive Dana where she’d learnt her gift for massage with an erotic twist from? She said after arriving in Britain as an economic migrant, earning money to pay for a deposit on land back in her native Romanian village, she first stayed with a friend in Birmingham but had no job, no income! Then one day her flatmate suggest they both rent a bedroom, advertise ‘certain services’ on an adult website, both working giving intimate Swedish massages…………. massage ‘services’ you’ll not find on your average Town’s High Street.

Well fast forward her tale several years and Dana rented a bottom floor box bedroom within a back street terraced house in a part of Oxford, a place where you’ll not leave your car unattended………….. put it this way if you did, your car wouldn’t be there when you returned!!!

I’d better shorten my winding complicated tale because you all lead busy lives, just understand whilst surfing the net one evening I happened across this LEGAL adult website giving intimate massages, phoned the mobile number hoping I was speaking to the lady in the photographs and well I became her 4 o’clock afternoon appointment that same day.

You’ll all know by now I’m an honest guy, well the website is legal, the ladies are over age 18 and working independently of their own accord and incidentally Dana stresses she gives no sexual services………… which means neither penetration or fellatio……… shame really because as I gazed into her eyes I didn’t half fancy a blowjob!

Well I traveled by bus to Oxford, found my way to the given name of the street, texted her for the house number at 3.55pm, then upon reaching the address told her my name through the intercom beside the front door. A buzzing sound came from said door lock and there standing in the hallway was one of the most beautiful young ladies I have ever seen in my life, slim gorgeous with a beautiful smile and warm becoming blue eyes.

I introduced myself and yes she was even more beautiful than her photos suggested, then followed her through one of the many doors into a dimly lit warm and cosy bedroom………..virtually absent of furniture other than a single bed with duvet, centrally heated, carpeted, very clean and extremely tasteful.

I handed Dana the advertised price and then stood there near speechless looking like a complete and utter lemon wondering what to do next? Until she said,

“Well take your clothes off!”

“All of them?” I rather lamely answered she must have thought ‘Jesus I’ve a right one here!’

“Yes all of them honey” she said laughing now, “then take a shower” glancing past me toward an even SMALLER side room (wardrobe) no bigger than a shower cubicle………… err that’s what the cupboard was!

So, and writing here and now this anecdote still makes me laugh, Dana stood there in her fishnet stockings, latex high waisted tight fitting hot pants (no knickers hold that thought!) also a black bralette revealing two of the most exquisitely shaped high round breasts you ever did see, I’m still smiling because this lady I’d known for sixty seconds stood but a metre close to me inside this tiny bedroom, and I near felt her burning gaze as I slipped down my boxer shorts, I glanced up and yes she was appraising my ‘bits and pieces’ ………… now just be aware I’m a clean bunny who was freshly showered wearing clean underwear, but as instructed I took a shower after being handed a fluffy soft towel.

(Why are Hotel towels always white?)

I ought to admit at this point I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Dana one time several years ago, she gave me a finger in the ass prostate tickle but as the days past afterward, I decided the service wasn’t for me…………… yes one for the bucket list but I didn’t enjoy it!

Well now I’m laying naked on her bed face down, a clean towel spread lengthways along the spongy quilt, arms down by my side then Dana places herself sitting on the tops of my legs, her two thighs either side my own and truth be told in a VERY firm vice like grip. Both Dana and I now comfortable I hear her squirt massaging oils into one hand from a bottle, then she began to push her hands deep into the small of my back, gliding them along my spine around my shoulders and all I can say is if you’ve never experienced warm skilful fingers work their magic on tired tight muscles, especially around the shoulders, if you haven’t then omg you haven’t lived! I will add Dana finger’s kneaded pushed and pulled tense muscles but not to worry she brought a true tingling warmth into my skin…………. btw I felt fabulous afterward!

And all the while we chatted about BREXIT, yes you did read right, she’s a working migrant from Romania! I talked about my family, we discussed Oxford architecture and I soon discovered Dana was witty personable friendly qualities you ascertain within minutes of meeting someone new, Dana is an intelligent young lady, then after 15 glorious minutes had passed rather abruptly she said,

“Now turn over!” Having first moved to one side, followed by a firmly spoken, “spread your legs wide!”

“Wider!!”

Dutifully I ‘widened’ presenting my bits and pieces in what was a rather precarious position, with Dana finally sitting her bum on her thighs kneeling close between them, and omg you just have to know this goddess of a lady was so beautiful with the prettiest sweetest smile you ever did see……………. and a wicked gleam in her eyes! Like I said she enjoyed jerking men off, maybe the thrill for her was being in control and dominating a man, or perhaps giving hand relief is just a fun way to pay the gas bill? Either way it’s times like these that I’ve never felt more alive.

Dana now wearing a pair of delicate latex gloves from a box, slips them on, cups my testicle sack with the palm of her left hand and curls lubricated fingers around the shaft of my penis with the other, oh and I forgot to add I’ve rarely been so hard erect and engorged before. I’d guess staring at her gorgeous boobs and plunging cleavage was the reason for that…….. oh as for knowing she wore no knickers! Well put it this way slightly parted thighs and tightly fitting hotpants revealed all!!

I should say at this point do I really need to graphically explain the process of hand relief? Men of course understand the ‘process’ and I’d guess all women have serviced a partner, anyways all I will add is Dana possessed a skilful technique she described as luxurious (it was!) Well she worked her dextrous magic, my penis bucking as I’m brought to climax then bingo she directs a stream of warm semen across my stomach……………. any men reading appreciate the joyous heavenly pleasure.

(And with boobs as exquisite as those two you’ll appreciate I even impressed myself!)

So there you are the Swedish massage with intimate ‘happy ending’, and for any ladies reading all I can say is if you’re in search of a well paid fun occupation, you could do worse than train as a masseuse…………….. oh and I forgot to say Dana’s Birmingham flatmate gave her the confidence and now she gives ‘happy endings’ for a living!!!

©A. Shepherdson 2018

Boutique Mannequins modelling underwear (Thursday)

(My apologies for not publishing my NSFW post yesterday, I went out for a lovely meal with three retirees I used to work with so I’ll post another time.)

Thursday 14th of February and of course Valentine’s Day, so if you’ve been following this week’s daily postings you’ll be aware the topic that weaves them all together (well hopefully) is women’s lingerie, jeeze even surprises me how my overactive imagination works sometimes. All good fun 🙂 .

Ok I know I’m a bit odd, stop nodding you’re not supposed to agree! And YES I did take those photographs above earlier this week, “why so Andrew?” Well today I’m asking myself, could a guy be prosecuted for indecent assault, you know if he was to ‘touch up’ a Department Store clothing mannequin when ‘she’s’ wearing sexy underwear? 

No I didn’t but I can’t say I wasn’t tempted!

All this past week after alighting from my commuter bus in the centre of Oxford, I pass these three on the way to work, but because our early mornings are still dark dazzling halogen spotlights almost bring them alive, in fact on the first morning they caught my eye and I had to do a ‘double-take’ they are that realistic……………. I should add being as it’s nearly Valentines Day there are many more displays similar to this, AND what’s with ALL these plastic models being six feet tall, slender and size 8 figures, what’s wrong with size 14 women gifted with child bearing hips and 34DD busts?

Good question no?

So begs the question, in the minds of the window dressers who are they actually trying to appeal to? Is it men so as they’ll buy sweet nothings for their significant other? Or women so that they can wear something sexy to excite and turn their man on? Not forgetting those confused women in lesbian relationships…………… no NO when I say confused I mean they’re both buying for both themselves also their partners……….. phew that was close! And I dare not mention we have skirt wearing Transsexuals at my place of work.

(I’m saying absolutely nothing, be true unto yourself that’s what I say)

So now I’m wondering can a sexy lingerie wearing shop mannequin ever be considered indecent? I’m absolutely convinced many Muslim men will find those three ‘women’ pictured above offensive, recently London Underground had to remove posters of models wearing brassieres because questions had been asked, I’d guess there’d been a social media sh#t storm or women’s Groups had asked why women’s bodies were being sexually objectified?…………. Jeez goodness knows what feminists would make of some of the posts on this blog.

However readers should be aware by now I adore women and am also a feminist, heavens we even have female engineering apprentices at work and why not, the days of girls only doing sewing and cookery at school and boys doing metalwork are long gone, and as it should be. Being serious for a second, and note I have addressed this topic before, #MeToo has changed Britain for the better because I’ve noticed men take a great deal more care with their language opinions and banter when around women.

Where was I? Oh yes me earlier today standing in the entrance to Debenhams department store taking photographs, I double checked to see no one was watching but no doubt I was being watched by their CCTV cameras, and I’ve just had a thought that’ll be twice now! (long story) So no I didn’t touch these three tasty plastic models up but they didn’t half look sexy, I guess that answer’s my earlier question doesn’t it, that women’s lingerie is purchased for their partner’s enjoyment…………… yes?

Discuss 😀 .

Before I leave you, this’ll be the first Valentine’s Day in 58 years that my dad hasn’t purchased a loving card for my mum 😦 . Isn’t memory robbing dementia is a wicked medical condition, I doubt he has any comprehension of what being married actually means? I’d guess in his own little world mum is now just a person who is always around the house at his ‘beck and call’, all terribly sad.

Anyways just so as to redress any perceived sexist imbalance, there’s not this is just for fun, but if anyone is unhappy here’s a photo whether you be straight or gay.

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Now I’m not gay but he is pretty fit!!!

Happy Valentine’s Day.

 

A. Shepherdson 2019

“Holy crap I’m on the bra and knickers Floor!” (True story Tuesday)

You should know me by now! I’m a fascinated observer of the female human mamal, anything wrong in that?

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So with this week’s blog topic in mind, daily posts themed around women’s lingerie, I’m going to raise the tone of this ‘blog’ and write a post about yes women’s underwear, a tale prompted by mistakenly finding myself on ‘Marks and Spencer’s’ floor devoted to women’s undergarments…….. if you’ve never heard of M&S all you need to understand is 70% of women buy their underwear here, with Oxford’s Branch having half a floor devoted solely to this most Holy of intimate garment, seriously a cavernous expanse of delicate lingerie hanging in aisles interspersed by the occasional size 8 mannequin, dolled up in err……….. well use your imagination please!

Whatever the age M&S is Britain’s go to knicker store.

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And yes that is ‘Camilla Windsor’ being shown around M&S’s lingerie department!

When one descends the escalator within Oxford’s Debenhams department store, from top floor down to level number three, a traveller aboard this slow travelling walkway will invariably pass by ladies with a thoughtful expression etched across their brow and holding up some delicate garment of lingerie to the light. She’s of course deeply concentrated wondering whether this bra or pair knickers will look good on her figure, does she like the colour and of course most importantly of all whether purchasing is worth the asking price? Perhaps contemplating trying it on before going home and buying it a third off from Amazon? 

Yes? No? Please don’t answer………… and do people do this? I mean use a store only to test goods out? I hope not, I’m now very conscious of trying to buy what I need on the High Street or Mall, because  disappearing Town centres are often the heart of a community and they do provide jobs.

As an aside, Jeff Bezos Amazon has a one trillion dollar turnover, to me that stinks of a great many City centre shops having to close and many many thousand of workers having lost their jobs, PLUS he pays very little tax instead funnelling British online purchases through offices in Luxembourg…………. frigging hell man, at least pay the taxes you owe!!

Where was I before sidestepping into an angry rant, oh yes women purchasing their underwear! Actually if I wasn’t a skilled engineer I’d like to work in a lingerie department just to stand and watch these err sexy goings on, in fact I’d work for free!! Just imagine handling these pretty pieces of cloth ALL day long, mind you I’d stop at any ideas of helping out in the bra fitting rooms, sorry but that’s just plain creepy!

Jeez my train of consciousness even takes me back sometimes!

Where was I? Riding escalators observing women buy their underwear, and no I don’t return straight up to the top floor so as I can watch these ladies on the return journey down again, jeeze that would be just plain creepy (again) hmm would be fun though, even pressing that emergency red button that stops accidents from happening, err hasn’t 😀 ever crossed my mind!

However walking through Marks and Spencer’s first floor lingerie department in Oxford UK, is a WHOLE lot more emotionally nerve-racking, truly, at this point you may be perhaps thinking ‘A. Shepherdson pray why are you looking at women’s underwear?’ No NO I don’t wear lingerie, no if you need to return an item purchased, in order to reach ‘Returns Exchanges and Refunds’ situated at the rear of Floor 1, you have to walk through yes this gigantic expanse full of women’s underwear, rows and rows of it! Slightly disconcerting actually brushing past lacy pink twinsets, a sight captured by the corner of my eye because I’m not looking.

M&S’s underwear department used to be on the ground floor, to be more exact in front of the entrance to the food hall, then one time I had to take an unwanted item back, made for Returns on first floor, and there facing me is a retail cathedral space dedicated to just lingerie, I actually froze my feet unable to walk! They’d gone and redesigned the interior of the shop hadn’t they! In a state of near panic I walked up to a young lady dressed in black with her back to me, reaching to hang up a garment or take it down and asked her,

“Excuse me Miss, can you tell me where the Return’s counter is?”

This brunette young woman turned around, as startled as I was and no older than sixteen, well I ask you how was I to know this tall girl was a mere teenager? Jeez we all make honest mistakes, well her cheeks blushed and she nervously answered,

“Sorry I don’t work here”, and then her eyes quickly darted sideways to look at someone now standing beside me, I also turned to this person now stalking its prey, ME a single guy speaking with her daughter, and who did I see? Yes a middle aged woman and by the look of her quite obviously the young girl’s mother, well you can tell can’t you! The mother slightly taken aback then burst out laughing before saying,

“She doesn’t work for Marks and Spencer’s” and btw now smiling,

So I quickly replied “Oh no! Sorry I mistook her for a salesperson?” The mother laughed again saying “no worries” and I quickly turned and made for an exit, talk about embarrassing! Anyways I returned to the Store hours later, asked an actual member of staff this time for directions, and yes they’d moved Returns to way behind those racks of hanging underwear.

Yes a misunderstanding all around, omg I’m closer to the end than the beginning, my heart cannot take mild shocks like it use to!

Hmm amuses me still how nervous I get walking through a ladies underwear department, do all men feel this way? I guess subconsciously I’ll think back to the women I’ve undressed or watched undress, and yes like I said earlier while in Debenhams, I am amused watching women perusing selecting touching and holding towards bright fluorescent lights their soon to be purchased delicates! 

Anyways not to worry they both had a laugh at my expense, the mother seemed to think the mistaken identity absolutely hilarious? And I can imagine the daughter saying later “Do I look like I’m dressed as a shop worker for heaven’s sake?” But jeez you do have to be careful asking customers questions inside underwear departments, don’t you? Or are we men becoming slightly paranoid #MeToo fallout and all.

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Now I’m aware Superman wears his shorts on the outside but do women wear knickers on top of a pair of leggings? Or were they dressed by a guy 😀 !!

(I’ve thought about this seemingly inconsequential tale many times, a completely absurd scenario but what always confuses me is why this mother burst out into uncontrollable laughter? Perhaps I looked more startled than I ever assumed, or is the reason little more complicated than a ‘mummy bear looking out for her offspring bear cub? Funny old day.) 

©A. Shepherdson 2019 (with Googled photographs not my own)

 

 

 

 

‘That sacred spot of blissful heaven’ (Erotic Monday)

If you’ve happened to read yesterday’s post, you’ll know all the five days this week I am writing a tale flash fiction or whatever on the theme of women’s lingerie, don’t ask why perhaps I’m just odd that way……………….. incidentally the ‘publishing’ sequence has changed, or in other words that’s the story of my WordPress. 

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Laying beside Karolina two Saturdays ago I don’t think I’ve felt happier in a long while, my lady’s aged 50 and extremely passionate, an amusing conversationalist if a little hard to follow as she’s from Poland, but not to worry she’s an extremely sexy lady, in fact my idea of a dream woman, and I know having a lady stick her tongue deep inside your mouth while kissing sounds a little ahem icky! But it really is sensuous and divine.

So where are we two aged lovers to be found? Me a fifty something who wears glasses when having sex, also Karolina with her dodgy knee that locks up meaning she has to clamber off the bed to give creaking joints a stretch! No arthritis just ‘ole mother time’ creeping up and don’t you find older women are more grateful of a guys romantic advances, not desperate for attention, no just content to be loved for who they are, no spring chicken and all, oh and fucked hard by a guy who prefers his sexual animal to be a woman of more mature years.

Where are we? Inside a Travelodge Inn alongside a busy A34 dual carriageway, a bedroom to be more exact, I’d guess American’s would call this establishment a Motel for lonely individuals driving monotonous ashen gray motorways in need of a cheap place to sleep of a night.

Our room is in pitch darkness apart from a shaft of bright light shining from the wardrobe bathroom, the temperature’s boiling as Motels often are and Karolina’s laying on our bed gazing at the ceiling with me close by her side, so close I’m all but cuddling with my body touching hers from my chest to my toes, snuggled in tightly, my six inch hardened dick resting atop her thigh and bucking bouncing off her skin to the beat of a drum, physiologically connected to the blood pumping through my heart.

Yes I do love her, my arm resting on her tummy a hand slipped inside her burgundy panties, the same exact colour as a good claret of wine. I’m not looking at her lingerie briefs though with two digit fingers gently sliding back and forth through the parted lips of her wet kitty, sweeter than wine and bare of all pubic hair but for a small stubbly patch on her mons pubis, lol there’s a medical term you don’t hear often! 

So do I miss that teenage pubic bush weeded out over the ravages of time? They’re kinda fun to run finger’s through or admire in the shower, a mop of brunette coloured hair dripping and wet.

With my fingertips doing all the talking below, my gaze is drawn to Karolina’s chest raising with every breath sipped in, two high round breasts nestling beneath her claret shaded bra cups, with its swirling patterns of lace matching the panties and my busy fingers inside, but hold on subconsciously my sexually aroused mind has control of my fingers without me knowing, playing a fiddle all by their own now pressed against her clit and dragging her intimate skin in small circles, the curtains of her labia lips now drawn tightly closed.

Then faintly audible to my ear, hardly noticeable within our church hushed boudoir, I heard the quietist whisper you ever did hear, Karolina with her eyes tightly closed, purred a softly spoken,

“Oh My God!”

Do you know if I’d cleared my throat or been distracted by noise outside I would have missed it!

She quiet startled me actually though not a muscle in my body responded to Karolina’s almost joyous incredulity, with my imagination pricked alive I suddenly realised my circling fingertips had touched a spot so sacred, nerve endings so excited by pleasure giving chemicals flooding her brain, a cocktail altering her mind, that for those few two seconds in time Karolina had been whisked to a blissful heaven itself.

(……………. and tomorrow, “Holy crap I’m on the bra and knickers Floor!”)

©A. Shepherdson 2019

 

Why bother Voting when you live in a corrupt Democracy

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Suffragettes in London

I haven’t voted in British Politics since losing the referendum vote in early 2016, the infamous vote to leave the EU in other words Brexit!

No I’ve not cast my electoral vote in either a By-Election, General Election or West Oxfordshire District Council elections for the simple reason I am finished with British Party Politics, and no I’m not particularly proud to make such a sweeping statement but after the lies that have been spun to we the people, I’d suggest it would be wrong to Vote.

Can a political system be considered that corrupt that’s in fact wrong to cast a Vote?

Remembering back to 2016, I cannot recall David Cameron saying we were potentially going to leave the EU in his Campaign speeches, he cleverly omitted that catastrophe and omg look where we are now about to crash out of Europe! The seventeen million citizens who voted to Remain are treated by our Political leaders as though we don’t exist, vilified by the Far Right as trouble makers in fact we’re treated with contemptuous withering distain and our voices certainly never listened to, whatever your opinions of Britain it certainly is not a free and fair democracy.

Vote for the opposition Parties instead I hear you say? Labour is just as weak and incompetent as the Conservatives, so no I don’t intend to Vote in an official party election ever again and being as I can be a bloody minded ‘so and so’, I expect myself to keep my word.

Ahh but some commenters will suggest, “if you do not Vote then you wave your right to debate and discuss Politics” well that’s utter bs (in my humble opinion!) Previous generations have created a political system where the stupid masses (and that includes me) have been asked to vote on an issue they neither understand or were given the truthful facts about to begin with from its Government………… in fact I agree with Sir Alan Sugar when he said Gove, Rees-Mogg and Johnson should be in jail for the lies they have told.

So no I won’t Vote again in British elections, however I will play my role in fighting against Political injustice and no I don’t mean I’ll be throwing rocks or fire bombs in the Street (hmm then again) I’ll not be party to any physical violence, however I do intend to join the Vote Remain marches that are being planned for this forthcoming summer, I doubt they’ll change policies but at the least marching is a protest. The last demonstration march I took part in was the late eighties when Margaret Thatcher announced the closure of many deep coal mining Pits.

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And I’ve ALWAYS prided myself on this being a drama free WordPress! Therefore my next post won’t be Brexit related, how does a light hearted fun post sound?

©A. Shepherdson

Ray’s ‘ONE’ writing challenge

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Been a while since I’ve taken part in any writing challenge, some bloggers refer to these as Awards (never understood that one?) But I prefer the idea challenges are answering cool questions with honest personal answers, they’re possibly more fun writing than reading but fun all the same, like I said Victoria’s dreamt up an interesting 11 Q’s. 

1. One person who inspired you? Honestly I really struggled with this one, my brother? No perhaps more truthfully my mother, she’s the bedrock of our family where no problem is insurmountable, and within minutes of speaking with a total stranger I’m in awe of her ability to appear that they’d been good friends for years, I was incredulous watching her at 12 as I am now at 50.
 
2. One moment that changed the course of your life? Age 16 opening the letter from an engineering firm offering me a four year toolmaking apprenticeship, truly the happiest four years of my life AND I was paid a wage to learn skills I still enjoy using today, not forgetting those friendships with thirty other young men my age, their laughter, humour, comradery and bullshit tales……. happy days.
 
3. One thing that you would change about yourself, your life, the world 

About myself? Better able to chat up women, truly I’m ok once in bed with them.

About my life? I’d do anything not to be living in a Country engulphed by a chaotic political madness known as BREXIT……….. the fallout will define the way I live until the day I die, thanks a bunch David Cameron you asshole!

The World? The honest answer is I’m weary and perhaps I’ve given up a little (Brexit is that bad), I’ve had enough of the constant bombardment of bad news, no horrific tragic news stories and wish the World never let them happen…………. A close relative many years ago committed suicide, still affects me now and perhaps will the more I get older?

4. One hero/heroine from past/or present? Easy, Elizabeth I, for some reason her reign captures my imagination more than any other person, I visited ‘The Tower’ last year, I remember climbing the spiral stone steps within on of the confined claustrophobic towers thinking to myself, ‘I am walking in the exact same steps as Elizabeth’, sounds pretentious? No completely true.
 
5. One cultural recommendation (film, book, song, painting)?

Film? As of now, Roman Polanski’s Tess of the d’Urbervilles, one afternoon our O level English literature class went to watch a screening at the cinema, a gorgeous beautiful film that blew me away and also regrettably the ONLY thing I can remember from two years of studying English Literature! I’m a late bloomer.

Book? Easy! ‘A Christmas Carol’ by Charles Dickens, without fail I read this ‘Ghostly Tale’ no earlier than two day’s before Christmas day, AND without fail I begin reading feeling like ‘oh no not again, do I have to? I know this story err like the back of my hand!’ HOWEVER by the finish of page 1, a gem of a beginning where Dickens has without question convinced the reader Marley is dead as a doornail that I am well and truly hooked (if you don’t believe he’s dead then the tale is un-believable). ‘A Christmas Carol’ is that good hence the many screen adaptations, yes reluctantly even the Muppet one. However the book is darker and more sinister than many might assume, the scene where Spirit three reveals to Scrooge HE is the dead man lying beneath the headstone is truly spine chilling……. Scrooge hadn’t suspected it was he after listening in to so many huddled conversations of people he’d known. So why read at Christmas? The ghostly tale is set at Christmas time therefore my own (now waning) excitement enriches the experience, but above all else throughout his book Dickens poses uncomfortable truths about my own failings prejudices, I haven’t given enough to charity that past year, I could have been more generous of spirit, ‘aren’t there tooo many children born into the world?’ ‘I pay my taxes so are there not enough workhouses to house the poor?’…………. a brilliant little book.

Btw I enjoy the concept of reading Hardy, but alas his novels get the better of me apart from his book of short stories………. hmm I think I have a short attention spans but I’m improving.

Song? Honestly Changes by the minute or the hour, I enjoy listening to BBC Radio 2 and I’m more than happy with their selections………. ‘The Sweetest Thing’ by U2 perhaps.

Painting? A day spent wandering around Tate Britain looking at paintings is my idea of a great ‘arty’ day, I know not a jot about art but I get satisfaction from looking at a painting that emotionally touches my heart and soul…………. pretentious? No we all enjoy art that speaks to us.

6. One challenge the world is facing? According to David Attenborough human extinction! This natural history guru expert and genius just days ago said mankind is facing extinction and I fear he may be correct.

7. One great thing that we have achieved? Sending a man to the moon, have him walk about its surface then returning him home safely again, I look at the moon through my telescope with awe and wonder because visiting seems so conceptually fantastical, in fact I near cannot believe it happened but I know America did, well done America.

8. One regret? I miss all four of my Grandparents still to this day, my mother married very young so I was blessed to be around them well into my thirties (we all live to a minimum of age83 in our family), perhaps mum’s father most of all, he took me to games of cricket as a child then years later I accompanied him as an old gentleman…………… wonderful happy days.

9. One nugget of advice for humanity? For Christ’s sake learn how to Govern yourselves with intelligence humanity and humility, devoid of greed avarice and selfishness, happily pay yourselves exactly the same wages, provide free healthcare and education for everyone……. ffs the list goes on and on!
 
10. One alternative career path you might have chosen? If I hadn’t been fortunate with gaining a toolmaking apprenticeship I’d like to have trained as an electrician, then again several years ago I happened across a genuine adult film company website, they were advertising lol for amateur male Pornstars………… no seriously, ordinary men were invited to apply sending a photo, you’d assemble at a hotel, the ONLY professionals were female porn models and well you get the idea!!!………. Ok I never ever seriously contemplated applying geez what if my mother had found out, also it’s disgustingy sordid and seedy but the temptation was definitely there, should I/would I is quite a moral dilemma? Lol ok I wasn’t tempted and then there’s the questions could I remain hard for 2hours and is six inches enough?

11. One thing that you could do better, but you don’t? Live a little.

Enjoyed answering.

©A. Shepherdson 2019

So Absurd It Must Be True

So guess what popped through my letterbox today? Yes, he says gazing at the photos below, I’d received my slim shiny package from Amazon Prime, which upon opening contained a purchased copy of ‘So Absurd It Must Be True’ penned by authoress Victoria Ray…………………. Now please hold that thought and I’ll reveal all later!

I’ve written tales, shared photographs thoughts and opinions on this my WordPress, however I haven’t written a book review before, a little daunting actually, so who better to describe her own book ‘So Absurd It Must Be True’ than the author herself, with text stolen borrowed from Amazon bookstore itself.

‘The “must have” book of the year!

One day it will all make sense to you…until then…grab the book to feed the good monster inside you.

As you turn the pages of Victoria Ray’s debut book, you’ll realize, once again, that the mix of humor, erotica and sci-fi is always the best medicine and that absurd things happen all the time, such as:

-A father of nine, who, on Valentine’s Day, is forced to have sex with every woman he meets
-A crazy producer with 50 phobias, one of which is his last name
-An author of an unfinished book, spending his days in fear of Mr. Best Seller, pancakes, his wife’s breasts and running
-A trip to a place called Escape, where a divorced woman, Mrs. Bouncy Tits, is surrounded only by hot men – until her last breath

The heaven of all absurd and bizarre is awaiting you on the pages of this book! When we see something strange, we immediately start thinking! Anything weird or odd activates our brains! These 42 strange stories are mind opening and will not only make you smile but will also make you think.

Are you ready to engulf yourself in some odd, silly and dirty tales that will make you smile?

Remember, these are adult stories, so share only with your mature friends!

So returning to that captured thought of yours, who is Victoria Ray you may ask? Well let me begin by saying how many of you reading here now have dreamed of writing a book? I follow many bloggers who at some point will share they’ve written a book, are in the process of writing a book or more often than not are part of a writing circle. Well Victoria Ray is one such WordPress blogger I’ve followed for this past 8 months and YES ‘So Absurd It Must Be True’ is the lady’s debut published book.

At some point we all dream of becoming a published author don’t we? Giving the reader a physical copy of their own stories tales or perhaps poetry, but very few persevere through sheer hard work to make the dream a reality, because from following Victoria’s blog I appreciate it’s a labour of love and definitely not for the faint hearted.

So I’ve opened my pristine virgin copy, dipped inside and yes Victoria tales are naughty and for adults to read, with scenarios and settings whether Courtroom or Bakery that are amusing, most definitely sexy and yes slightly absurd ‘wet treasure’ and all ( 😉 an inside joke between two bloggers)………….. an ideal read on tomorrow’s bus commute into Oxford 🙂 .

Victoria I hope my independent personally written Review has been ok, more than a little exciting seeing as I actually know of the author, because I omitted to say I’ve also taken part in her picture writing challenges, and lol you’ll find those here on my WordPress.

A. Shepherdson 2019

Washing machine Review & ‘firepit’ saga (pt3/5)

Two Post today! But first an Update and a Review.

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My new washing Machine

Amazing how the absence of a camera lens (above) distorts photos taken by a tablet, I think I’ll stick with my £8 Fuji eBay purchase in future.

For those readers unfamiliar with my unforeseen washing machine saga series, I began by intending to show you how to replace a rubber seal on my 19 year old Bosch, I changed the part but the appliance never worked again? And the reason why wasn’t even my fault………. read here if you need to but lol I wouldn’t bother 😀 .

So I’ve given up any dreams of becoming an electrical appliance maintenance engineer, and instead decided to upcycle/convert the old washing machine drum into a fire pit/garden incinerator or better still BBQ, and please do read that post here. (Helps for later)

However before I write a ‘How To’ guide for making a drum firepit (remember upcycling means taking a defunct product and converting it into something usable) I thought I’d share a brief review of my new machine pictured above ABSENT OF AN ACCOMPANING YOUTUBE VIDEO!

(As an aside, WordPress is a haven for expressing yourself through the written word, so perhaps I shouldn’t post tooo many of my own YouTube videos here? Not to worry my ‘Blog’ features less than 1% video media.)

Now to my first product review, by that I mean a buyers first thoughts.

Where was I? Oh yes my review of something purchased, one day I’ll learn the art of keeping my thought processes on track!

As I’ve written before my previous Bosch washing machine lasted 19years, my Hotpoint Refrigerator finally died 18years ago and I’m writing not a jot about my Hotpoint Freezer for fear of tempting fate!!! Have I been lucky? I guess so yes, but don’t get me started with regurgitating my kitchen oven rant or I’ll be still here 1000 words later still spitting feathers.

I’d guess the maxim ‘you get what you pay for’ applies to everything in life, a Bosch appliance isn’t the cheapest to purchase however as we’re informed they’re built in Germany a Country that builds quality engineered products, alas unlike mine own which appears to manufacture very little these days but that’s a WHOLE different BREXIT story.

Early days! I’ve only used my new Bosch Vario Perfect Serie 4 for a handful of washes, but all’s well and good and machine operates as instructed, not forgetting of course a Bosch comes with a 2 year manufacturers warranty as standard 🙂

Finger’s crossed, I very much doubt it’ll last another 19years but who knows?

Two very pleasant gentlemen from ‘John Lewis’ (upmarket UK store) both delivered and fitted it two weeks ago, and I hadn’t realised washing machines no longer require hot water feeds, no the only two pipes that need connection are the cold water inlet feed and a drain pipe taking the ‘dirty water’ away. They installed the appliance giving me brief operating instructions before leaving and advising I begin with a 4hour 90 degrees wash cycle, that sounds frigging expensive!

90 degrees Celsius for heavens sake! (Does anyone wash at 90 degrees? Discuss)

The accompanying guide manual is a little daunting reading to begin with, phrases like Speed Eco Water, Heavy soiling, Plus/Rinse Plus/Wash and the like, but then again don’t they say Washing machines are designed by men? Select a cycle by turning the control dial and there are ten cycles to choose from cottons delicates etc, each option displays the spin cycle speed, beginning to end time also temperature as a pre-set and I guess you choose your favourite then stick with it for many years to come? Btw I didn’t know this, but the faster the spin the more creases that are put into the garments err wow? I’ll get the hang of it, oh and there are additional settings for short eco washes pre soaks etc but a couple of hours at 40 degrees has suited me fine for this past 20years.

A major improvement compared to my old Bosch machine is the spin cycle is a whole lot quieter than before, and of course if you never overload the drum in weight then you’ll never experience vibration problems applies, yes my Bosch quietly spins itself into a 1400 purring cycle and as I’ve hinted at finger’s crossed no problems yet.

So does anyone actually concern themselves worrying about garment crease levels? Or do you throw in 2 detergent tablets, close the door and wash at 40 degrees for a couple of hours every single time?

A. Shepherdson 2019

 

My own ‘Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse’…….. a Response!!!

If little else please watch the video at the end, ty.

This post is I suggest a Response to ‘Is Andrew (slightly) Racist’, here I point the finger of blame at 4 British Politicians, my own ‘Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse’ I hold RESPONSIBLE for our current Brexit mess, sorry Brexit tragic madness 😦 . Lol these last two Rants are why I avoid writing about politics………. how about a little ❤ sex next? Discuss 😀

‘British privately educated politicians! They exude a sneering veneer of authenticity, coupled with enormous privilege that is flaunted rather than hidden.’

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David Cameron, George Osborne, Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg

William Shakespeare once wrote ‘All the World is a Stage’, one of those many sayings that stick in the mind and the older I get the more I understand this great writer’s genius observation applies to us all, whether that be at work, or the school you send your children to, yes they are all Stages at your local Theatre the ones we are mere players in. There’ll be gossip and intrigue, heroes and villains not forgetting many a scheming Machiavellian stabbing in the back. Whether workplace, school or politics each one of us is acting out a part, it’s only the Stage and storyline that changes, so yes William Shakespeare’s genius pearl of wisdom never fails to give me pause for thought.

Enough talk of Brexit except hold on, only the other day I suddenly realised four Politicians names time and again reappear over this past three years, little different to reoffending suspects at a crime scene, if a Theatre Stage themed Brexit existed, then these four major player’s names will perform over and over and over again.

Like bad pennies four keep turning except one culprit, PM David Cameron dare not show his face in public, an odious showman, the chief architect of Brexit has disappeared leaving the whole sorry mess for other mortals to try and clean up…………. Cameron is a man President Obama was once over heard calling “a light weight” and I now understand where Obama was coming from……… a wise man indeed.

You may have guessed I dislike David Cameron mainly because he broke the most important rule in politics life namely, 

“You cannot play Politics with People’s jobs and services……..”, to quote the great speech given by Labour leader Neil Kinnock. 

Britain’s sorry tale began when David Cameron promised his Euro sceptic MPs a Referendum both expecting and hoping we the public would vote to Remain in Europe, back in 2016 we had the farcical sight of a Prime Minister campaigning for an issue he didn’t want or believe in yet a policy he set the wheels in motion, crazy madness, jeeze don’t you think that near criminal Leadership?…………. Yes Cameron played politics with peoples lives, he divided a nation who now loath each other, and now I have to live through this sorry mess for the next twenty five years……………… Brexit will be the defining political moment of my generation.

Oh yes returning to those four politicians I now like to call The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because they have many things in common, each is male white skinned middle aged and Conservative for one, all are privately educated privileged and arrogant, all Graduated from Oxford University, each one is as Right Wing as D. Trump and all four in some way architects of Britain’s Brexit mess. David Cameron and Chancellor Osborne came up with the idea to leave, whilst Boris Johnson the poster boy of the leave campaign and arch Eurosceptic Jacob Rees-Mogg urged us to vote Leave, and yet unbelievably incredibly Rees-Mogg is idealised by the out of work and poor, why?………. So very strange that those who have nothing worship men of wealth power and privilege who have everything.

Reminds me of those privately educated Generals and Field Marshalls who ordered millions of young men to their deaths in World War One, the famous saying ‘Lions led by (privately educated) Donkey’s’ never rings truer especially now.

So here are my ‘Four Horsemen’ pictured below wearing dinner jackets and top hats, faces of arrogant dull unintelligent men lifted from another Century, men in the top echelons of power solely because of the school and university they attended and what’s even worse, there are thousands like them in positions of power across Britain.

Cameron Rees-Mogg Osborne and Johnson went to Eton the same Public School that has provided Great Britain with 29 other Prime Ministers………… quite unbelievable that so many Leaders have come from one School, yet these four criminals have one further major failing, before entering politics none hadn’t worked a regular job in the real world, they’re all career politicians devoid of any talents where wealth affords below average men to play dangerous games with people’s lives.

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The Oxford University photo David Cameron (2) wished had never been taken, white, wealthy, privileged and arrogant young men sitting on the steps of The Bullingdon Club, ONLY made worse by the fact David Cameron was my Member for Parliament.
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Again Oxford University’s ‘Bullingdon Club’ except a different year. The privately educated old Etonian far left is George Osborne………….. Chancellor and chief architect of Brexit……. and what’s with the Bullingdon Club’ photos? They’re ALL looking in different directions?
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British Conservative politician Jacob Rees-Mogg MP, and God Help Us possibly a future Prime Minister!

Yet will David Cameron have the last laugh? Will migrants stop coming to Britain? Will European Laws no longer apply? Btw I’m not holding my breath on either of those last two!!! Hmm :/ are some decisions in life too important to allow uneducated people to vote upon?’ (And that includes me).

…………………… and finally if you’re curious as to seeing the best bit from ‘That Speech’, well I found it on YouTube and now regarded as ‘one’ of the most famous political Speeches of the last Century. Yes.

Please feel free to disagree with any of my ‘now not so private’ views.

©A. Shepherdson 2018

‘Gemma’s wet kitty’ (NSFW)

NSFW-Slider-September

Mild adult themes with the absence of imagery or bad language, perhaps a tale more humorous than err sexy erotica? Oh and I’ll leave you to decide if Gemma is a real living woman or perhaps a lady conjured from my risqué imagination…….. and AS always 100% my own tale!

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Fellatio! As you are perhaps aware if you follow my rather eclectically themed blog I’m a lover of savouring delicious words, during my tedious no tortuously boring commute to work I idly gaze out of my usual window seat, looking at the exact same scenery pass by tooo slow to be a blur too fast to appreciate and enjoy, a moving landscape to nudge me into a daydream about sex so I’ll look around the familiar faces, some listening to music on their mp3’s other’s reading and me idly wondering if the blonde lady with a fringe that nearly covers her eyes, is good at oral? ‘Wow that hairstyle suits her, she can hardly see but it’s so ’60’s’ and looks so sexy on a lady……… not forgetting a summer cleavage that near takes my breath-away!’

Gorgeous fellatio for some reason has been on my mind lately hmm perhaps because I haven’t had my dick sucked in a while and I’m feeling rather horny, I miss the various women I’ve been to bed with also their personalised techniques, and yes ladies lick and suck differently, of course they do! With one hand they curl their fingers around my floppy arousal so as to take a tight grip, give it a couple of up and down movements to harden 😉 , lower their open mouth over the purple bell and suck like a lollipop but here’s a thing women ALWAYS close their eyes?

I asked a lady called Gemma (not her name) why she always did this, close her eyes? She paused, thought for a second and with the hint of a giggle (because sex for some reason is so darn hilarious to adults) she said,

“Because I’m concentrating”, another pause “and I know you’ll ####ing come at some point!”

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And yes reminiscing for a second I can imagine tongue gymnastics may test a lady’s powers of concentration, but if we’re talking me giving cunnilingus then I couldn’t be happier feasting between a lady’s parted thighs, kneeling at the end of the bed, her body pulled in close to me, my hands caressing stroking the outside of her thighs and gently gripping her hips then waist. If the room is dark with only her bedside table lamp throwing a golden sheen across her naked body, the eroticism for me is heightened as I kiss her intimacy, the tip of my wet tongue dancing between the folds of her rosy ripened labia, all the while my eyeline is drawn the whole length of her body, past the mounds of her fulsome breasts now slightly overhanging and resting to the sides of her chest. The ambience making the areola appear puffy against her golden suntanned like skin, nipples rock hard and pointy.

So do we wish need to read and learn my honest opinions as to the scent of a ladies kitty? Now you readers may be angry annoyed at what this writer’s about to say? Not to worry, I dislike the smells of shop perfumes they’re tooo sweet for my noses delicate nerve endings, no I’ll take the natural animal scent of a lady’s freshly bathed skin every time……… absent of perfumed soap of course!!! 

But my wonderment doesn’t end there, oh no as I lick and suck, my mind concentrated on trying to locate where I assume that mythical ‘g’ spot is? 😀 The horn of her clitoris, still to this day at the age of fifty I have no real idea if I’ve TRUELY touched her ‘g’ spot? Yes I’ll stop and stare for a second at a lady’s vulva in wonderment, darting eyes searching for this magical clit that’s supposed to engorge purple with blood, but I cannot medically inspect for tooo long because she gets annoyed and fidgety until the time I plucked up the courage to ask,

“Gemma tell me honestly do you enjoy your kitty being licked?”  

“Honey if I’m not enjoying myself I’d ####ing tell you!” Came her reply.

And yes she swears like a sailor, that taboo words are spoken from such a pretty mouth I find both shocking and hilarious possibly because her diction is crystal clear, as posh as the Duchess of Cambridge she is!

‘Thank you’ smiling and thinking to myself, ‘She’s contented and happy so who can ask for more?’

However unlike Gemma I am never ever bored giving a lady oral sex, I’m enjoying myself too much for that and I can feel my unrestrained hardness bucking as it gets evermore excited, beads of crystal clear precum dripping onto the carpet, a healthy function of the reproductive equipment so we are now told, doctors say flushing the prostate gland of precum may help a prostate’s health, even propensity to prostate cancer as the internet says, so it’s either true, wishful thinking or fake news…………. the story of modern day internet addicted society.

Where was I? Oh yes kneeling before a beautiful naked Gemma laying on her back stretched out before me, thighs wide apart her kitty hoping receptive and ready, a vision of sexual loveliness glistening beneath orange lamp-light. And yes her round mounds of breasts are gorgeous and a feast for my eyes, they’re even close enough to reach up and squeeze if I stretch, but doing that’s not so good on the old back these days so I’m resigned and content enough to watch her chest rise and fall as sexual excitement envelopes her body.

I’ve never experienced a woman writhing and screaming in exquisite passion filled pleasure, so am I doing something wrong I ponder? Perhaps I’m not licking fast enough, perhaps the sucking is why my tongue goes numb, no my cunnilingus technique is more sedate and gentle but her body does respond to my touch, each time my tongue slides dances over that erotic spot of hers, blessed with thousands of nerve endings making her pelvis twitch.

And time to time if she’s breathing deeply, if the touch of my wet tongue glides over her sacred organ, she’ll catch her breath and I know I’ve hit something? But there’s a distinct absence of moaning and definitely zero screaming for heaven’s sake, the golden skin of her body shimmering with moisture drawn to the surface, her chest rising and falling, locks of long blonde hair (err bottled blonde) haven fallen to the pillow, her forearm drawn across her face shielding her eyes, then all of a sudden Gemma can be heard in soft shallow quiet tones repeating over and over again,

“Oh yes……(insert 3 seconds)……. oh yes…………….. oh yes……….….. oh yes………….”

Pausing as a pink wet tongue appears through parted lips, only to be circled and licked back into her mouth before she returns to her metronomic soft encouragement,

“…..oh yes……..…….. oh yes……..….. oh yes…………….. don’t stop………….. oh yes……..…”

And so this highly unusual conversation continues for ten minutes, Andrew nuzzled between her thighs lapping at a stream of salty nectar, Gemma quite contented if less than orgasmic, so a question for all you experts reading, why does the surface of my tongue go numb?

Ok lol she doesn’t appear wildly excited but she’s an enthralling visual sexy performance all the same, she tells me she can be bored with her mouth full whereas I’ve never felt so alive excited, and yes riveted to her every word breath and move as I taste and lick……………… ‘hmm’ I muse, ‘who is enjoying this cunnilingus more?’ 

©A. Shepherdson 2019 

2019, WordPress and broken washing machines

Basically the lady’s pose below is all my Bosch washing machine could be useful for, BTW what an earth are they doing? Don’t answer!

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This might make a few of you laugh, I took the front of my washing machine off, fitted the new seal correctly which looks fantastic, refitted the front panel, pressed the ‘start button’ and sweet FA happens!!!! Tell a lie, I can hear an electrical buzzing sound emanating from the motor………….. now I’m not an electrician, but I’m wondering has pulling a 19 year old washing machine out from under the kitchen unit knocked a contact out or whatever?

To be completely serious I’m feeling pretty deflated, I didn’t damage any components putting it together, but as anyone will tell you electrical conundrums are the worst kind of problem.

Now to a question that’s been playing upon my mind, shall I’ll write for WordPress in 2019 or not? (But don’t get me wrong I’ve enjoyed 2018.) My only certainty as regards 2019 is frigging (I was going to swear) I know for sure all problems BREXIT will be on my mind every single hour of the day, this political mess near drains all life blood and energy out of me not forgetting a will to actually live if I’m being honest.

How do you remain positive when the world around you is crumbling to dust?

AS Graham Norton recently said “everyone now knows BREXIT was a bad idea”, I’ll go further and say half the Country are angry we haven’t left yet, the other half are angry because they never wished to leave in the first place, worse still economically I think Britain will be ruined. So yes the Sun will rise next morning, life will go on but BREXIT is a mess, and worse even still we have unintelligent averagely intelligent human beings (Politicians) totally incapable of solving the unsolvable, how many worst case scenarios are there before one gives up? 😦 .

So I ask you, I voted in a democratic Referendum and lost, shit happens, so do I abide by the will majority of the people who voted to leave? OR do I take to the Streets and demonstrate, throw rocks, burn cars and riot all in the name of injustice or against unfair legislation that I perceive as injustice? Or do I watch TV and do nothing? One thing’s for sure though, come next March we’ll get a bad deal BREXIT i.e. Europe will punishes us and people WILL die in Hospitals (the latter is a consequence….. Possibly.) But hold on, history teaches us good things are born from revolution, so perhaps I should throw a few ‘Cocktails?

Catch-22: a paradox in which the attempt to escape makes escape impossible.

So today begins a Virgin New Year, a new dawning for all you bloggers, so what of my WordPress in 2019? BREXIT will be the defining moment of my Generation so I really should write about food shortages and ‘ferry ship’ space currently being booked for the supply of medical drugs, or that military leave is being cancelled for March because of a fear of civil unrest. I should write about riots and Hospital mayhem shouldn’t I, the trouble is I don’t really wish to, writing Blogs about day-trips, cookery, early evening thoughts are MORE fun but does seem a little pointless aside this political mayhem, hmm a blogging Catch-22 to me or perhaps I’m muddling my paradoxes.

Anyways I could bore you all with more tales of BREXIT so I won’t and instead wish you all a very Happy New Year and I really DO mean that ❤ …………. Andrew is always honest.

Now I’ve got go on-line and buy a new washing machine!

A. Shepherdson 2019

Am I (slightly) Racist? Sometimes I don’t know how to answer

(A quick afterthought, I realised at the time of writing my post, selectively choosing passages from D. Trump speeches would be controversial, problematic! I dislike the man and for what it’s worth this isn’t a post about Trump, yes a mistake to selectively quote him but at worst I guess the photos are good ‘click bait’. Andrew)

Ok I understand if we’re discussing racism, a loss of National Identity then quoting D. Trump is a writer’s wet dream…………….. not that I have sexy dreams about Trump but you get the idea .

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Now for many British folk, transpose the word Mexico to Syria, and I have to admit Mr Trump’s spoken quotation rings a little true! Then again I am male, white, middle aged and working class……… a Right Wing disciple?
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Ok this quotation is just darn right bizarre! Trump ‘hates Blacks counting his money’ but he’s happy to have ‘Skullcap wearing Orthodox Jewish men’ (googled) count his filthy lucre? Like I said bizarre!

Crop2Does a multicultural Britain worry me? If I’m completely honest yes it does, when I look at my mother’s photographs taken of her as a child in the 1950’s, each and every face therein is white of European descent, so am I a racist? No! Am I a white supremacist? Most definitely NOT! However please read on.

I’m employed let us say as support staff within a ‘blank’ establishment blah blah blah, for the past nigh on 30 years I’ve worked alongside young people also ‘other’s’ more important than me (unproven lol) who originate from every Country under the Sun, Venezuela to South Korea, Sri Lanka to The United States, and if successful after 3 years and 9 Terms they all return home (lol work it out!)

So yes by any stretch of the imagination Britain has little resemblance to the post war white faced Britain of my Grandparents, we’ve become swamped by an influx of West Indians in the 60s, Indians and Pakistanis in the 70’s, 900,000 Poles post joining the EU up to and past the 2000s, and that’s not forgetting those illegals taking the train beneath The English Channel from the other 27 Nations, NOT forgetting more recently migrant refugees from Syria, so many migrants now live within London and most metropolitan cities the European population dissolved into the Counties.

Are you shocked? What if your Granddaughter cannot find a house to buy because 900,000 Poles have moved here, true or not immigration not Brexit is the reason Britain’s are angry.

So I ask myself does it really matter Britain’s evolved from a 95% white population in 1945 to well, every Nation under the Sun in 2018? On the one hand immigration is the reason Britain is in such a political mess and that’s a frigging understatement! For those of you reading from your homes abroad, I’m quite popular in India btw looking by my statistics I’m loving that. For those of you who are under the impression our Brexit debate has been about leaving Europe? I’m here to tell you it is NOT, Brexit’s about immigration full stop, then again I watch the News from across the Globe and migration is every Countries perceived overriding problem worry, whether the Turkish influx into Germany or the North Africans walking into France or D. Trump building his blessed Wall to keep South American’s out, Migration of human beings scares each and every one of us and I’m afraid if you disagree then I’d say lol you are lying? Or “Less than contrite with the truth” as Bill Clinton would say.

Discuss 🙂 .

(Hmm now I’ve upset someone! Did you know 9 months writing and I haven’t received a single hateful comment? I’d guess that’s because I’m neither a woman and perhaps not as talented a ‘writer’ as I sometimes like to think then again I’m happy here…………. the old adage be careful what you wish comes to mind.)

So am I a racist? A question I ask of myself at least every single hour, ok several times a day, today I saw a photo of an Asian gentleman standing at the corner of Hyde Park, Speaker’s Corner where under British Law one is legally allowed to say whatever he/she wishes to without fear of arrest (lol perhaps google that fact before visiting.) Returning to my perfectly decent Pakistani gentleman in the photo HE was displaying a banner saying ‘Sharia Law in Britain NOW!’ Knowing the scare stories that I do concerning Sharia Law, I’m saddened to imagine a Britain Governed under such mysterious Laws when our Centuries old ones legislate just fine………. well ok they’re lol less than adequate but you get the idea, they punishes wrongdoers and lock up the evil.

(My understanding of Sharia Law is that women are treated as second class citizens.)

Hmm so am I racist wishing for the good old utopian days of post war Britain and there lies my problem, I enjoy the company of being with people from across the Globe, especially the beautiful East European girl who serves me Costa Coffee at breaktime! But I do worry my National Identity is disappearing fast, I’m not a racist because I’m a nice guy people person, but the shear numbers who’ve migrated here, with their own beliefs and customs means I’m afraid to say, yes the British Identity of my youth is fast disappearing.

Now please hear me out 🙂 .

Several months ago I visited The Tower Of London, such an atmospheric historic place for those who wish to immerse themselves in 1000years of English History, I clearly remember walking up a stone staircase in one of the Towers and feeling the overwhelming sense I was following in the very same steps as Elizabeth I, possibly the only Monarch who captures my imagination, quite an emotional experience actually understanding without a shadow of any doubt way back in the 1600’s she climbed this staircase. I was ACTUALLY stepping through the ghosts of Henry VIII, Sir Walter Raleigh, Sir Thomas Moore all such evocative and important names in my Country’s history, THEY WERE WITH ME and my imagination quite ran away with me.

Why such pride and fascination? Simply because though the names of my ancestors are lost in the midst of time, technically I could trace my lineage back to those 1600s because they’re all English by birth, I ask you does your Country’s history mean anything to you? Again hours later I recall standing beside Tower Green, the place where Anne Boleyn lost her head, asking myself  “do those Syrian beggars standing outside upon Tower Hill where so many Traitors were beheaded, really give a s*** about My England?”

Hmm life moves on, as my Grandfather used to say “good or bad you cannot stop progress.” 

And please don’t get me started on English Literature, will Shakespeare, Hardy, Dickens, Len Deighton, whoever become authors names lost in time, perhaps it’s always been this way, in fifty years from now Grandmothers will be lamenting the long ago days of X Factor, saddened because a Grandchild won’t have a clue what she’s talking about.

(Hmm I’m 😀 just reminded, I’ve never read a Shakespeare Play in my entire life!!! Watched all the Hollywood movies though.)

Lol the British White Tribe are angry and if we leave Europe and Japanese car plants move abroad then we’re all screwed! Am I racist? No. But if losing my perceived National Identity beneath a sea of cultures happens then yes I guess I am, do I enjoy the Company of people from across the four corners of our Globe? Then that answer is an unequivocal yes.

A famous quotation for you.

“…………did an English Missionary living and working in China think himself English or Chinese? English of course, the British immigrant population are no different, their home is the Country they were born in………….”

So which famous Politician am I quoting there? Enoch Powell of course, to some a racist to others his Prophecies have come true. 

And finally.

Only the other day I was discharged from Hospital, cared for by lovely kind skilled nurses from Europe Asia Australia……… , lovely people all, so please if my silly little post has offended anyone I sincerely apologise…… the real joy of having a ‘WordPress’ is we can dissect complex political arguments without fear of censure, peace and love ❤ Andrew. 

©A. Shepherdson 2018

Has #MeToo spoilt our Christmas Party?

Now please do not read tooo much into this post, I’m a little annoyed disappointed that’s all, and it’s not a rant because my WordPress is a drama free zone where I’ll hopefully share something anything entertaining, enjoy myself and share thoughts that are on my mind………… as with this post!! For obvious reasons I rarely speak about my place of work for one because they’ll bore you to tears and two because it’s well unsafe and possibly illegal to share detail, but hey I’m going to break my self imposed rule and share an email we’ve all received below………… just keep in mind ‘#MeToo fallout’ and read on.

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A screenshot of an email sent to all Staff

Let me expand my tale with some sketchy detail, my place of work every Christmas organises an ‘office Party’ to which only support staff are invited, if last year is any indication half of guests will be women of all ages, office workers who work in HR administration PA secretaries and a (lovely brunette) receptionist.

The other half consist of males of all ages who are employed as mechanical maintenance support staff, and generally throughout the 2018 working year both sexes got on just fine, with the odd minor incident as always happens when human beings rub along together.

Last year’s Christmas meal was incident free, groups of 8 sat around tables, conversation was slightly forced but ‘it was what it was’, a sociable meal……….. then after the free glass of bubbly had been consumed and the meal finished, the male support staff tended to congregate in groups close to the bar……….. and as I’d expect females sat in groups around tables I’d guess chatting about what women like to chat about, not forgetting a handful of younger women danced whilst a young DJ played music.

Now you’re probably thinking some calamity befell the occasion, someone drank too much and there was an incident laced with sexual impropriety, an event so grave the fallout has been discussed infinitum for the rest of 2018. But I’m sorry to disappoint, nothing happened except as the evening wore on conversation noise levels increased as the chatting groups became more animated as the alcoholic beverages took affect.

However alas there wasn’t to be any kissing under the mistletoe, no male drunken fumbling within a receptionist’s blouse (incidentally my wet dream) behind a Christmas Tree, nope as I said nothing untoward happened whatsoever, as I’d guess everyone had expected when they bought the ticket, a drama free evening perhaps because the type of institution I work in everyone is responsible and extremely intelligent, and probably exactly the same as thousands of office Parties up and down the UK, Events you have to be seen attending if a little boring but with an absence of loutish inappropriate embarrassing behaviour!

So as of today Christmas Party 2018 is all booked and paid for then on Monday we receive the email above, and if you’ve read the text you’ll have guessed we basically received behavioural instructions, rules and guidelines, with threats, also informed that any inappropriate behaviour will be dealt with through HR and the usual disciplinary procedures, as it says our Party is an extension of the workplace

…….. as for the ‘drinking should’s?’ Those points are enshrined in UK Law ANYWAY!!!!

WTF!!! As you’d expect this email has not gone down tooo well, that’s an understatement! It’s of course driven by #MeToo fallout, my employer is covering itself against possible legal action, but come on, do responsible adults really need to be reminded how to behave, do they really need to be reminded of disciplinary protocol, guidelines on how to enjoy yourselves responsibly? 

Ok after the dust has settled we’re all intelligent adults, lovely people, we understand this is just another consequence of the #MeToo fallout but it hasn’t half put a damper on this supposedly fun annual event, I’d go far as to say if this email had been forwarded before booking and payment was made, going by general consensus several people say they wouldn’t have gone……………. then again that’s possibly the worst thing you could do, it surely infers to the Department’s Head that you drink tooo much and as a consequence start laying your grubby little paws on secretaries plump shapely asses……………. however on reflection, back in the real world, predatory behaviour probably blights one or two office Parties.

That’s got me thinking, what if there’s a Secretary who secretly doesn’t like me, a closet nutcase, perhaps she had plans to accuse innocent old me of groping her then get me arrested by the police, what a fabulous opportunity to take me and the Employer for millions!……………  Or am I dreaming up a world of fantasy?

Like I said at the beginning. this isn’t a rant, I understand the need for such an email but come on do we really need reminding how to conduct ourselves in a civilised society? The Head graduated from University, a very intelligent individual, yes on the whole is liked but perhaps ‘he or she’ just got over officious with language or perhaps this is a sign of legislation to come? The possibility of being sued in a Court of Law could mean ‘rest and relaxation’ events will become a thing of the past, however lol boring they may be.

And my final word to this little rant, here’s the email I would have sent? 

Dear all, I hope you enjoy the Department's various Christmas 
Events, please remember they are an extension of our/your 
workplace. 
Happy Christmas and a peaceful 2019 to you all.

©A. Shepherdson 2018

The female orgasm and note NSFW

Mild adult themed text, but please be aware contains no sexual imagery.

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I’ll be completely honest with you lovely readers who take the time to read my Blog, I do worry when someone replies to my post about caring for elderly parents, then subsequently Follows, I’m wondering are they aware my very next post could be about the female orgasm? The Tower of London? Do they realise I’m a Blog devoid of one theme? Well due to my having a very low boredom threshold (child sense of wonderment) I’ll write about whatever’s on my mind and hopefully it’s entertaining, but as Blogger Paola once commented ‘Andrew never apologise for something you’ve written.’

Introduction over.

This evening I’ve been thinking about a natural world phenomenon namely the female sexual orgasm, now I could write chapter and verse sharing both my knowledge and experiences of the males, however I won’t, but I have to admit watching a woman’s face as she masturbates to orgasm is possibly the most enthralling captivating and wonderous spectacles I’ve ever seen, and just so as you know I can tell the difference between a genuine orgasm and one faked, lol without question I can spot the difference but don’t all men say that?

However because my own sexual experiences with a lady can be described as casual relationships, I haven’t actually slept with a lady who’s experiencing a true orgasm, well not strictly true there was Karina, but if I tell you I prefer a kiss and a cuddle then you’ll understand my sexual preferences are pretty much vanilla, and as you may know from reading a previous relevant blog post, I have a strong dislike of visual pornography. Why so Andrew? Well I have little people relatives, and a cold shiver pulses down my spine at the thought an 8year old could be watching all manner of filth streamed through a media device!

But I’m a grown adult, morally well balanced, intelligent (most of the time) and sexually active so subsequently I can tell the difference between loving sex shared between two adults who care for each other, and faked pornography devoid of all humanity and emotion…………. jeeze I’m getting off message yet again, where was I oh yes the wonders of the female orgasm!

Notice I’ve flagged this post NSFW, that’s because I’m going to share with you an artistic YouTube video written by and starring Candice Dawn, she’s an author reading from her very own novel ‘Reclaiming Eros, A Heroines Journey’. Now I’ll be honest with you and admit I have neither heard of the author or read her book but I have seen this promotional video which I’ll share below and note she’s titled as Not Suitable For Work.

Amazing what you come across whilst idly surfing the internet and watching YouTube videos!

I’ll set the scene by saying Candice is sat at a table clasping her novel between both hands, then she begins reading a passage out loud to camera whilst a woman underneath her table has an Hitachi vibrator to hand, yet we see nothing apart from hearing the distant hum of her pleasure instrument’s motor pressed between Candice’s open legs. For a guy it’s quite incredible sight to see a woman lose all composure, I guess all her thoughts and concentration are channelled into reading aloud, whilst her unconscious mind is under the influence of pleasure giving chemicals coursing through regions of her brain, either way her intense emotional sexual pleasure is almost palpable………… and the results are spectacularly animated, pretty amazing actually, and a wonderous sight to behold, in fact I’m quite in awe of what a human female body is capable of……….. but please take note Candice’s video is tasteful and appropriate viewing. 

Ok you’ll have your own thoughts but remember Candice is starring in her very own promotional video 🙂 ………… the things you authors get up to!!!

A. Shepherdson 2018

NO longer can I avoid buying a Smart phone

Eagle eyed readers to my WordPress ❤ of which there are several, will be aware only my little toe is dipped into the pool inhabited by users of social media, unlike the majority of the Global population.

I’m not on social media, I don’t have an Instagram, Facebook doesn’t ‘float my boat’ and as for Twitter? Why has a tyrannical image of Donald Trump appeared in my mind? Nope I’ll pass on Tweeting my ‘many’ opinions but I’m not necessarily trashing Twitter, and don’t forget many a blogger has a feed alerting followers to their new Posts 🙂 Tweeting is the way forward bloggers!

Pictured above resting comfortably on the palm of my hand is YES my mobile phone, a trusty friend that’s accompanied me on many a sexy afternoon with a lady, I love my Nokia! I can make a phone call, send a text using character written emojis, the alarm awakes me out of bed at 5.45 every morning, a torch function is helpful at times, the battery lasts two weeks without charge oh and my mobile only cost me £15 when new 😮 .

But of course as with all technology an Asian electronics corporation will release a new generation device, making the old version obsolete then you have to take out a bank loan to buy the new upgrade……………. oh and did I tell you mine’s near indestructible? Not forgetting any new phone will have a camera and I’ll HAVE to trash my £8 Fuji digital camera, incidentally have you seen the photos on my countryside walking blogs? 

However I’ve realised over the past several months I WILL have to bite the bullet and purchase a Smart phone, I’m not so worried about spending my hard earned wages on one because I guess I’ll soo get used to spending hours of a day looking at the tiny screen, my index finger scrolling through websites with adverts linking me to suggested purchases via Amazon. So yes even though I’m not heavily reliant on social media I’m positive I’ll soon be hooked by this tiny genius device, I’ll be walking along the pavement eyes captivated by a tiny screen oblivious to the natural world going on about me.

(So you’ve noticed this teenage girl phenomenon as well?)

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I borrowed this photo from a News story which read ‘Girl walks off end of pier whilst checking her Facebook’ 

I’m curious to know, is it only British girls who appear to have a mobile phone glued to one hand?

When I first sit at my work bench of a morning, coffee in one hand the open pages of Metro’s free newspaper laid out before me, the Grandfather sitting to the left is looking at his Facebook feed, the middle aged father to my right is YES glued to reading his Facebook messages……….. THEN at 7.33am both will be reminded by the boss to switch their devices off.

And why do I have to buy myself a smart phone? Not because the Nokia is broken (I’d guess it’ll work for 20 years more), no, every utility Company I purchase heating gas electricity water also banking telephone from also insurance providers now have me in a virtual neck hold (or my testicles held in a vice like grip, lol you’ll have your own analogies) instructing me to operate my accounts via an ‘app’

Apparently I’ve reached a stage in my life that I need to download the relevant ‘apps’ to function as a human being and that annoys me!

😀 But give it a week and I’ll be sat at my workbench 7.20am reading WordPress blogs, watching YouTube videos and unable to understand how I ever managed to live without a Smart Phone?…………….. Actually I’m quite looking forward to getting one!

A. Shepherdson 2018

 

I’ve been sightseeing in London again! (The Tower of London)

Strap yourselves in dear readers this is gonna be a long one but I have tried to go easy on historic detail such as ‘Kings and Queens’ names also dates! But not to worry you’ll discover lots of photos within this post and ALL taken by meee! Please feel free to copy any if you so wish 🙂 I’m a terrible one for ‘borrowing’ photos courtesy of Google imaging so fair’s fair.

The picture below might just give you a hint as to the ‘location’ I visited 20th October 2018……………. yes ‘The Tower of London!’ And I’ll tell you what, I haven’t half been lucky with the weather this year in fact all my daytrips/countryside walks were blessed with blue skies and bright warming sunlight.

Holy blank I’ve hit a story telling wall, the history surrounding The Tower of London is near impossible to write about especially when I’m little more than an informed tourist myself, William The Conqueror built the central White Tower 1000 years ago, Henry VIII lived here, he had his wife Anne Boleyn beheaded on Tower Green her body being later laid to rest in the Tower’s Church. Queen Elizabeth I (Henry’s daughter) had her arch enemy The Earl of Essex beheaded on Tower Hill, staunch Catholic Sir Thomas Moore lost his head because he refused to acknowledged Henry’s Protestantism as the one true faith. Then you move forward through the centuries and SS officer Rudolph Hess was held prisoner on Tower Green after being captured in Scotland fleeing from the Nazis. Reggie and Ronnie Kray the infamous London 60’s gangsters spent a night in the Tower at His Majesties pleasure having failed to turn up for National Service……… where an earth does one begin? Wild animals presented by Kings and Queens of Europe among them an Elephant and African Lion being housed at the Tower before being moved to London Zoo in Regent’s Park. Throughout WW1 the Tower Grounds were used to train Coldstream Guards with shooting practice in the now waterless moat. NOT forgetting the British Crown Jewels are kept for display inside the Jewel House! Oh and who could forget Guy Fawkes was imprisoned within these walls after his failed attempt to blow up the Houses of Parliament! And had he succeeded Britain would have been in political turmoil………. hmm sounds familiar although we call it Brexit!

Perhaps I’d better stick to showing you the photographs I took on the day and let you visit wonderful Wikipedia and fill in the history detail!

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Wooden staircase taking tourists up into the central White Tower built 1000 years ago by William the Conqueror! (I’m gonna have to go easy on the exclamation marks within this post, however it’s not going to be easy because this truly is an awe inspiring London Palace.)

Below you see a panorama of three photos taken from Tower Hill which looks down upon the Tower of London and notice the waterless moat now with its carpet of green grass, incidentally Tower Hill Tube station is a five minute walk behind me!

I am a peculiar specimen of human manhood!! No don’t you shake your heads and disagree, I remember sitting on a bench overlooking Tower Green and feeling everso slightly paranoid, feelings of ‘will you believe the photos are my own’ and I know completely irrational but not to worry my ticket below reveals the date 20/10/2018, and yes that’s my packed lunch of brown bread ham sandwiches and succulent in season Conference pears 🙂 ………… incidentally I’d never really noticed before but a late October sun never really rises above horizon level.

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Photo taken 11.30am and for the whole day this bright sun’s rays never went much higher than straight into my eyes…………… such a strange late October phenonium.
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😮 I know £29.50!!

If you’ve never visited The Tower there is only one entrance pictured below, sorry I tell a lie there is a second at Traitors Gate which opens out onto the River Thames. For the past 1000 years this gatehouse has seen Kings, Queens and Tourists walk into what is now a world heritage sight, and quite possibly the most treasured building in Britain today, the 1000 year birthplace of my Country’s history. 

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How’s this for an iconic signpost? Showing directions to White Tower, Bloody Tower, Crown Jewels, Tower Executions oh and Raven’s shop

https___historicroyalpalaces.pictureparkThe magnificent Imperial State Crown, a googled image for alas tourists aren’t permitted to take photographs inside the Jewel House 😦 A shame but I guess security is paramount…….. anyways I stood looking for 5 minutes as the diamonds glisten back at me under the spotlights……… mesmerizing amazing pick any superlative adjectives and few will come close to explaining how I felt.

Below you see several pictures of the central White Tower, one of the oldest buildings in England and around which several encircling walls were built with their own cylindrically shaped Towers, each possessing their own particular history mystery and intrigue…… a truly iconic building that truly takes your breath away and I’d guess every tourist will get a tingle down the spine knowing they’re standing on the exact spot Queen Elizabeth I walked or Anne Boleyn lost her head!!

I’m afraid I bottled out at taking a photograph of my Beefeater Guide pictured below, I doubt he would have minded but you never know?

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My tour guide for the day was a Yeoman Warder who’s name escapes me, his uniform costs £1500 to make and he like every other Beefeater before him achieved the rank of Warrant Officer in the British Army before applying for a job at the Tower……….. our group listened and followed him around as he regaled tails of beheading traitors and telling us Anne Boleyn was actually beheaded on the lawn to his rear……….. the story goes the Frenchman was so swift with his swing at Anne’s head that when lifted from the basket and held aloft her eyes and lips still moved for 15 seconds after the blow.

Above left you see the Jewel House, look closely and you’ll see a queue of tourists waiting patiently to see the Imperial Crown with South African diamonds………. alas I wasn’t permitted to take photographs but all I can say we filed past near opened mouthed at the sight of thousands of diamonds and the largest rubies emeralds and sapphires I’ve ever seen.

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These wooden framed building facing Tower Green are the oldest standing Tudor buildings in London, the rest burnt down in the great fire of London 1666. Incidentally these houses are where the Yeoman Warders and their families live…………… wow what a place to call your home, just imagine sitting on the veranda looking out upon Tower Green when all the tourists have gone home!

Below left you see a memorial to Anne Boleyn (I guess the glass cushion represents the one her chopped off head fell onto? On reflection a rather pointless structure which does look out of place (my Beefeater Guide’s words) but there you are, and pictured to the right behind the rather curious looking tree you see the entrance to a Prison Tower.

Would I be correct in saying the soldier below is another instantly recognisable symbol of London? The Tower exists as a Royal Palace still to this day, hence fifteen British army soldiers stand guard inside The Tower grounds, the Regiments change throughout a year sometimes from the RAF, Royal Navy and British Gurkha Rifles but the Saturday I visited the Grenadier Guards were on duty……….. although still a Royal Palace I’m afraid our Royal Family no longer reside here.

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A Queen’s soldier from the Regiment of The Grenadier Guards looking smart in his red tunic and black bearskin hat.

To be continued……………. (lol I’m a little exhausted so how did I do?)

A. Shepherdson 2018

 

 

 

 

Do YOU know who’s reading your Blog?

You may have read my post themed ladies who perform in Chatrooms, all very tame reading with an absence of sex talk, anyways tonight’s post is I hope an intriguing interesting follow-up.

2015-06-clouseauWell you just don’t do you? I mean we publish our tales whether true or fiction hoping that people enjoy reading, then the icing on the cake is if they like and comment, but at the same time we’re quite trusting that everyone is reading with good and kind intentions…………….. so I’m wondering has anyone over the course of 8 months copied one of my posts? A Canadian blogger by the name of Skinny and Single once commented me it’s likely because my content lends itself to copying, though personally if plagiarism has occurred I’d rather not know, anyways not to worry.

Hold that thought for a second because I’ve a true tale to tell you.

Returning to my Title, about three weeks or so ago I received a slightly unnerving comment on one of my blog posts beautiful princess Anya, a chatroom lady, now if you haven’t read beautiful Princess Anya (read later 😉 ) she’s a lady who frequents a rather well known and legally run website featuring women who take their clothes for monetary game in the form of tokens, yes male viewers purchase digital tokens (not me) on their credit card then pay these chatroom ladies considerable amounts of money to strip naked, or go private and watch the lady play with herself using sex toys enough said! However note this financial agreement is all good clean fun and consensual, the ladies are age 18+ and I’d guess they choose to strip naked and perform because they want to or possibly need to!

Who knows why 🤔 live and let live I say, take your clothes off for money if you want to and stick two fingers up to anyone who says you shouldn’t. (I was going to swear but won’t!)

Confession time!

Now I have on occasion looked at this legal and 18+ Chatroom website and no I’ll not divulge the name, watching female adults taking their clothes off is well fun once in a while. So uhmm returning to my Princess Anya post I ‘borrowed’ a fully clothed photo of the lady to illustrate my tale, I removed her name removed the website title and published on my blog………… and that’s my tale in a nutshell. I’ve been blogging for the past eight months and ‘borrowed’ many a photo via Google, perhaps I shouldn’t but if you wish to copy one of my own photos then please do, you have my blessing fair’s fair.

However my tale doesn’t stop there!

Several days later WordPress notified me someone had commented said post by the name of Patti (not her real name), well cutting a short story shorter, Patti very politely asked me to remove the photograph because the lady was in fact herself! And just so as you know there are good reasons why I’m certain she was telling the truth and note Patti was very polite probably because she’d been fully clothed! 

But still she was unhappy I’d used her photo without her permission which is perfectly understandable 😞 .

I did apologise.

So within minutes of reading Patti’s comment I removed her photo also Princess Anya’s and I have to admit my heart was racing a little because hell, a Chatroom performer from the internet had read my post, I guess she Googled ‘Chatrooms’ or whatever and by chance saw her photo on my post. OMFG what odds would you take on that happening? Well after removing, Patti replied again thanking me with a very polite message accompanied by these amused Smileys 🙄🙄🙄because I’d spoken of her in such glowing terms, no drama no further correspondence and I hope that’s the end of the matter.

But this has definitely sharpened my thoughts, we merrily post all manner of facts about ourselves, personal photographs, even our real names written into Published creative writing with no thoughts of who might be reading. Experts do say that cyber criminal require only three pieces of information and if gleaned by skilled criminals who understand how to use it, they could unravel your whole life.

And those three pieces of information are (I realise I’ve shared before but hey it’s worth saying again)………

  1. Your Full Name.
  2. The name of the City you live in.
  3. The name of your Employer.

…………… Yep that’s all a criminal needs!!

Scary isn’t it! And the longer you stare at those three truisms, the more you understand how easy you or your family could be uncovered, then armed with a full name and knowing the employer’s City a criminal could trawl an internal telephone directory, discover email addresses and well the possible consequences sends a shiver down my spine………….. jeez hundreds of businesses etc own my personal details, tie it all together and well need I say anymore. 

So there you are you never know who’s reading do you? We assume our content is consumed by fellow bloggers and lovely Followers (99.8%), I’m not aware of everyone who but I get a sense they’re blog writers, anyways the peeved lady who contacted me was within her rights to ask me to remove her photo…………. incidentally I have watched her perform within her Chatroom and very sexy she was to 😛 . 

So that’s a lesson learned and I like to think she enjoyed my tale especially because I’d been very respectful.

A. Shepherdson 2018 

Post script! I’d suggest don’t worry and assume only bloggers hang out in this internet back water called WordPress.

Trouble with the Youth of today is………….

I’m guessing if you have children of your own you’ll possibly probably enjoy this one. 😀

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‘David’ by Michelangelo 1501-04, I think if the day ever comes when this magnificent marble statue is deemed obscene it’ll be the day I finally give up on humanity.

“Wow didn’t David have a small willy!” (Now come on you were thinking it so I said it.)

A very wise man (she could have been a woman) once wrote ‘the good ole days’ are 50 years long (I’d suggest they never existed in the first place), and the older I get the more I understand that writer’s perceptive thought processes, AND without Googling (because I never do) didn’t a philosopher living way back in antiquity days once utter the line “the trouble with the Youth of today is……..”

Well I have to be completely honest I’m no longer writing the post I’d first intended, the name of this Greek guy intrigues me so through the wonder’s of Google I just had to discover his actual quotation, and wouldn’t you just know I came across these following words of wisdom written by other Greek philosophers of the day.

A brief intermission (Get the popcorn out).

(The tale of how and why my Great Grandfather emigrated from Southern Ireland back in 1916 will have to wait, on and off I’ve been researching my family tree his father was a Boer war soldier and I’ve recently been given written evidence to prove something I’d suspected or hoped to be true…………… namely Grandpa was a political refugee, his family persecuted by Catholics so he sailed the Irish sea seeking asylum in the UK as both an illegal immigrant also a migrant worker…………… hmm well who’d have guessed, Grandpa was an asylum seeker, perhaps I should be more careful when discussing UK immigration!! 😀 ………. btw the irony isn’t lost!’)

Intermission over.

Returning to Googled Greek philosopher’s and their wayward children, ok this evening’s post is little more than regurgitated facts you’re all probably aware of, they’re lifted from the internet by me, nope nothing incisively new here but they’re entertaining reading all the same!

“They (Young People) have exalted notions, because they have not been humbled by life or learned its necessary limitations; moreover, their hopeful disposition makes them think themselves equal to great things – and that means having exalted notions. They would always rather do noble deeds than useful ones: Their lives are regulated more by moral feeling than by reasoning – all their mistakes are in the direction of doing things excessively and vehemently. They overdo everything — they love too much, hate too much, and the same with everything else.”
(Aristotle)

“The world is passing through troublous times. The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behaviour and dress.”
(Peter the Hermit in A.D. 1274)

“I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words… When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise (disrespectful) and impatient of restraint.”
(Hesiod, 8th century BC)

“The children now love luxury; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are tyrants, not servants of the households. They no longer rise when their elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize over their teachers.”
(Commonly attributed to Socrates by Plato)

Incidentally if you’re curious I don’t profess to be an expert on Greek philosophy, ask me a question about Socrates! And I’ll tell you the guy was a medical doctor, who smoked 20 cigarettes a day and played football for Brazil at the 1978 World Cup.

A fun read don’t you think? Especially ‘Peter The Hermit’s’ thoughts on girls of today……….. my guess is he didn’t have daughters or perhaps he should have got out a little more often!

A. Shepherdson 2018

Body image, Boob chat and Breast lumps

My earlier post Racist Britain rather depressed me, so I thought why not cheer myself up and write about women’s boobs, and as you know I love women’s boobs!

Oh dearie me how an earth am I going to try and explain this one away (however before reading remember I both respect women and adore their boobs) well all I can say is you will have your own opinions by the end! 🙂

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Did you know there’s a website teaching artists how to draw breasts? I know you didn’t but just goes to show you’ll discover anything on the internet if you lol look hard enough!

I could dedicate a whole blog to the human female breast, no I’m not joking I could honestly! But I would NEVER post photographs on the internet neither would I ever make fun of a woman for a reader’s amusement, most definitely not, I would be positive and respectful because I am a decent well mannered guy who adores women, in fact I’m in awe of these delicious delectable gorgeous creatures I don’t understand them mind you and there lies my insecurities. 

Btw just so as you know I am a feminist.

My breast blog (hypothetical) would be informative positive, neither salacious or kinky but yes I could be guilty of sexualising breasts however anything I’d write would be body image positive and written all because I’m obsessed fascinated by a lady’s breasts, :/ hmm perhaps a little tooo much? 

(Everyone these days seems to suffer from questionable personality traits, I have AvPD but does a disorder exist for breast obsessions if so I have a feeling I’m afflicted, seriously!)

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Note I’m NOT being disrespectful to women, I’d guess it’s essential (male) artists understand how to draw breasts properly. 

You’ll be relieved to read I won’t be writing a breast themed blog!

Jeeze that’s a lengthy introduction to my tale AND I haven’t started yet.

I’ve enjoyed naked sexual fun and games with many women in my lifetime, ages range from 19 to 48, (though Karina told fibs, I’m sure she’s 55 years but a gent never asks does he!) And as you’d imagine all twenty-five ladies were gifted with very different breasts, large or small, pert or saggy, high and round, firm or squidgy, empty and drooping, not to worry I loved them all! Imagine a boob size and shape well I guess I’ve squeezed one…………….. and don’t get me started on sucking nipples or I’ll be here all evening.

(Note Karina for the purposes of this tale isn’t the lady’s real name but I like the name so Karina she is, perhaps one day I’ll write the tales of how I came to meet these women but for now I prefer not to.)

So yes in my lifetime I’ve squeezed many pairs of unenhanced natural, as God intended, human female breasts and gorgeous they were to, and truthfully each time I near fainted when they took their bras off, put it this way the reveal and drop is the definition of eroticism. But not until meeting Karina had I ever slept with a woman who’d implants in her breasts and to be honest I’m in two minds, still! On the one hand I’m okay with falsies because they were Karina’s life choice, she both paid for and loved them so that’s fine by me, enhanced plastic boobs helped her body image, calmed any insecurities and the shape and size made her happy so it doesn’t matter what I think does it.

If I were ask to take a guess I’d say she didn’t get them because men demanded them, OR maybe sublimely did she?🤔😯😕 Who knows either way I didn’t really like them but didn’t say!!

And yes laying beside Karina looking at her burgundy lace bra cupping high round breasts they did indeed look womanly fabulous, her bust profile was exquisitely proportioned to her slim body frame (not porn star pneumatic balloons, yuck no!) The implants suited her, gave her a feminine cleavage however after she’d leant forward, reaching her hands behind to unclip then tossing her intriguing lingerie to the beside chair, well after the moment of freeing those bundles of fun from their restraint they didn’t drop 😦 and I enjoy watching saggy boobs fall to above the belly button. Anyways only after first setting eyes on Karina’s falsies did two horizontal pink lines etched into her skin capture my gaze.

Yep you’ll have guessed (cause I’ve already said), those pink lines were in fact the result of a surgical blade slicing into her skin, 2″ long incisions through which silicon implants had been forced underneath her breast tissue in what must have been a brutal operation. 

Why an earth go under the knife? She could have died!

Now I’ve seen these breast implant operations on the TV and I liken them to meat butchery, horrendous, my Great Grandfather was an army meat butcher in World War One (close to Ypres) and I’d guess he lol could have been a surgeon in another life but I shouldn’t be disrespectful. Well enough to say her surgeon stitched the incisions together (a nice job) and once healed Karina was left with two red unsightly marks for the rest of her life……… hmm I’ll be honest I don’t agree with breast augmentation.

BUT she loved them both so who am I to judge, live and let live I say.

Well because I’m an inquisitive sort of guy, an engineer by trade, I spent the next quarter of an hour asking all manner of questions, prodding squeezing basically giving her my own unskilled type of breast examination and she was happy to teach. In fact she guided my hand with hers to a point above her left implant, I gently pressed and felt a hard 4mm sized circular lump under the skin, I near freaked out with the shock and Karina had a look of concern etched across her brow then she said,

“Don’t worry the lump’s not cancerous”.

Jeeze I don’t think I’ve received such a heart stopping shock before, she should have warned me of a hard lump because I hadn’t frigging expected it!! Karina then went on to explain a hospital biopsy had revealed the lump wasn’t cancerous but I think her broken Polish accent meant I missed the true reason in translation, however she assured me the implant hadn’t split which was my next worry. Suffice to say she was booked in to have surgery this ********* though I could see she was quite concerned………………. don’t you think it a shame that a woman has to endure surgery and silicon bags inserted under her skin to improve the way she sees her body? AND didn’t she understand men love boobs whatever the size and shape I guess not?

I felt disappointed that afternoon, Karina’s implants were firm hard and yes they gave her a perky profile, but I’d loved them to have to been squidgy and jiggle, pendulously swing when she moved just as God intended, so okay they were hard but after 5 minutes of sucking licking and caressing I overcame any doubts……………. well nearly all!

Anyways we both relaxed and began to enjoy each other’s bodies, we kissed passionately the womanly smell of her freshly showered skin passing my nostrils and just so as you know I’m not a great fan of bottled perfume because ladies naturally smell divine ❤ , I’ll choose the clean animal scent of a woman over manufactured smells every time…….. I’ll share no further details, you’re all sexual animals lol you 😉 understand many of the ‘positions’ naked lovers get up to in bed together, even with her dodgy knee! (She got out of bed at one point to click it back into position.)

Enough said, joking apart I learnt you should always see a Doctor if there’s something medically not right with your body.

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Artists drawings of naturel breasts 

I’ll wrap up this post by saying Karina and I will see each other again and no doubt chat about her (our) health but I’ll leave any ladies reading with one thought. I’ve worked with many men, both young and old over the past thirty five years and I’ve yet to come across a guy who liked breast implants, and yes the subject has raised it’s head upon many occasions. Btw if you’re 🙂 curious my take is why bother putting yourself through major surgery if your identified sexual partner doesn’t like them? Discuss. 

There you are lol knowledge shared from me to you, we guy’s love ‘au naturel’ unenhanced breasts whatever their size shape and ‘squidgyness’ so ladies please don’t ever assume we don’t.

©A. Shepherdson 2018

 

I live in a racist Britain

‘Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year UKIP tells us immigration is to blame for all Britain’s problems, the consequence is we accept the burning images below as to be expected modern day behaviour! So am I shocked and surprised? Disgusted yes but not as surprised as I should be’

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A cardboard effigy of Grenfell Tower burning November 5th 2018

I’ve been thinking about British racism quite a bit recently, however before I begin I’d just like to remind you this WordPress has been written with only one rule in mind, Politics is not to be discussed and that includes BREXIT, but this evening I’m going to make an exception.

British people suffer from a chronic brain condition deeply embedded into every single inhabitant of this Island nation, so much so I divide the population down the middle, the majority of white people are to a degree racist and our migrant population whether first second third generation immigrants, they could be Pakistani Indian or West Indian descendants will all encounter racist remarks at some point in their day………… possibly worse than name calling!

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The White Defence League 1950 Trafalgar Square, they’re long gone but many Organisations have followed.

You’ll have all watched the Grenfell Tower tragedy in which 72 people lost their lives and you’ll have all seen photos of a miniature cardboard Tower being burnt on November 5th, an unusual tradition where we celebrate Guy Fawkes failed 1605 act of terrorism………… I don’t think he was a Muslim bomber was he?

I had intended to spare you a picture of the burning cardboard Tower, I relented, what can I say apart from I’m utterly disgusted however this isn’t a one off incident. No racism is deeply embedded into our psyche within every Town and City across the United Kingdom, and if any readers living overseas believe BREXIT is about leaving the EU, I’m here to tell you it’s not! 

BREXIT was a protest vote against migrant workers coming to these shores by the 100,000, also a protest against uncontrolled immigration over the past 60 years as Politicians never fail to remind us each and every day. Whether Right Wing mainstream, UKIP, National Front, EDL, BNP, White Defence League whichever, they keep spouting speeches with negative vibes and then politicians wonder why we the people dislike foreigners?……………. But perhaps if you live in a Northern City where a steel works, shipyard or car plant has closed, or your Grandchildren cannot afford to buy their first house for the simple reason 900,000 Poles live in UK homes……….. then you’re going to vote BREXIT aren’t you?………….. Holy crap I fear Britain would really burn if we had Donald Trump in charge.

BREXIT is/was a protest vote made by very angry white people who haven’t had their worries listened to, and the story all begins after the end of WWII when yes Great Britain was made up of 95% white faces, so what’s to do? I’ve actually come to a point in my life where truthfully I’m not enjoying living in this Country but at my age I’ll just have to stick it out, save my money and ultimately pass it on to several little people I know. I have no children of my own and everything that I own savings, home, treasured belongings are written into a legally binding Will simply because they will need every penny in a United Kingdom that’s tearing itself apart.

Here’s one final statistic for you because I fear this post could become an angry rant which I don’t want, because if you’ve read my blog you’ll know my WordPress is a happy place with some silliness, photographs, serious thoughts and fun observations………. not forgetting sex and boobs! Where was I? Oh yes one final statistic which encapsulates exemplifies every single problem plaguing this country, apply this analogy across the board. When my sibling left University the State paid his Grant in entirety, in fact the individual finished further education without owing a single penny to anyone! However today in 2018 when a young adult leaves University after three years of Degree education, he or she will have paid all tuition fees leaving them with a debt of £50,000 to be repaid over the rest of their lifetime.

Makes me want to weep!

So you tell me how a University Graduate with very few job opportunities has any chance of saving a deposit for a one bedroom Flat, which will probably cost them £200,000 or £400,000 if you live in London. Total madness and now you’ll probably understand why white people have had enough of migrant workers coming to Britain, buying themselves a home, entitled to umpteen cash benefits, a free education for their children and free healthcare in the form of NHS operations or their own family Doctor………… wouldn’t you vote BREXIT tooo?

Just so as you understand our National Health Service couldn’t exist without cheap migrant labour, seems like we Brits prefer to sit on our asses doing very little and sponging off the State rather than work (not everyone but you get the idea)………….. gives us time to complain about bloody foreigners!

I sit on the bus each evening with tooo much idle time on my hands, I’m bored, worrying about my country’s future and as for BREXIT? I’ve frigging had enough AND the process hasn’t started yet, that madness begins March 2019. So will there be food shortages? Will British industry relocate to Europe in fear of paying import export duties? Or will our F#CKING USELESS POLITICIANS pull their fingers out and do something…….. ANYTHING!!!

So this leaves me with a question which is never far from my thoughts, namely am I a British Racist to? And I have to answer I really don’t know how to answer, I cannot say a great deal about my place of work except to say for the last 28 years I’ve worked daily alongside people from every corner of this Globe, my Department alone probably number’s forty overseas nationals and to a person they are lovely people……………….. not forgetting some rather gorgeous women in there but that’s a whole different blog post, oh hold on I’ve already written those 😉 .

Like I said lovely people all, witty amusing intelligent polite and to a person grateful for the help I give them………….. yet if I was medically ill I could wait nine weeks for an appointment to see my GP, then I’ll sit in the doctor’s surgery gazing up at the electronic sign waiting for my name to appear, but not before noticing Polish looking names being flashed up one after another, AND they’re the reason I have to wait two months to see a GP aren’t they? You’ll have guessed my Town has a large Polish Community, so have we integrated yet? Being truthful not really 😦 , though my Mum chats to a Grandmother but mum will talk to anyone.

So what’s to do? With BREXIT day but four months away everyone is nervous for the future, worried about their jobs and rising food prices (I dread going to the supermarket these days), but worst of all we’ve a f#cking useless Government unable to make sense of this madness let alone come up with any answers, to be fair they try, but I fear the EU will do all they can to stop us leaving! Tooo many bureaucrats enjoying the gravy train and worrying what’ll happen after the British food wagon is uncoupled!

(BTW apologies for my earlier profanities, but hey I’m a little despairing today!)

Usually I’ll finish my posts with a wise pithy or amusing conclusion………. I have none!

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So were we a happier breed of men and women back in 1953?

A. Shepherdson 2018.

On Days Like These

Perhaps a little self indulgent self promotion, but hey I’m feeling chatty this evening and I’ve always wanted an excuse to share the video below, ‘On Days Like These’ is the Title music to a very British Movie Classic you may never have heard of……… Michael Caine’s ‘The Italian Job’ possibly one of the greatest British crime films ever made, the tune is sublime and sung by Brit crooner Matt Monro. Have you heard of Matt, he was our very own Frank Sinatra……….. oh and a bus conductor!

The song and video are perfect together, the Lamborghini Miura driving through the Alps is spectacular and the Italian gangster even manages to make smoking a cigarette look cool…… not easy! And not forgetting Michael Caine staring in possibly his wittiest and coolest acting performance ever. Enjoy 🙂 .

Eight months writing for my own little private space on the internet!

Let me explain, I began March 10th 2018 with a fictional erotic tale published on this very personal WordPress I described as ‘Blogging Thoughts Photos & Life’, well 122 randomly themed eclectic writings later and that’s exactly what’s transpired, (not forgetting a sprinkling of saucy sexy admissions) 🙂 Btw I’m quite popular in India which is a constant source of joy.

So I have to be honest and say I’ve not run out of ideas quite yet, I have several posts currently in draft stage however before ‘publishing’ those literary masterpieces (not!) I’ve a series themed The Tower of London. (Yikes I’d better pull my finger out and start them!!!)

Let me enlighten you, 2 weeks ago I visited The Tower of London taking many photographs and seeing as I’m a history buff I’ll be writing factual shorter posts than usual he says! They always begin with dreams of being short but finish 1000 words long, anyways I love them.

The Tower had quite an effect on me, slightly emotional even, my Country’s History has ALWAYS captured my imagination and where’s the harm in admitting I’m proud to be British?…………. Sometimes I feel to be an English male with an ancestry I can trace back 4-10 generations isn’t something to be proud of within a multicultural Britain, a melting pot of ethnicities, if ever there’s a TV program screened with lol tooo many white faces then Twitter suffers a meltdown, a tongue lashing by thousands of mortally offended keyboard warriors, anyways no point harking back to those good old days that (perhaps) never were?

Hmm are you a touch shocked? Well don’t be, try to enjoy your life that’s what I say, people across the Globe live in the moment happy in the knowledge whatever happened pre fifty years ago isn’t worth worrying about! Earning a wage to put food on your family’s table, now that’s important! 

Anyways I’m far from being racist (feel free to comment) but I am proud of my heritage so before you read my three unfinished posts, you’ve an English History lesson coming your direction and as always I’ll write from a very personal perspective.

🙂 I hope you’ll enjoy reading (they could be considered ‘slightly dry’) and don’t forget the photos were all taken by me 20/10/2018.

Finally my post with the most views is!!! Helen

A. Shepherdson 2018

I don’t understand why ‘he’ wears denim miniskirts

Should I burn in Hell for all eternity admitting I don’t understand why?

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A Googled Image, a ballsy confident guy/girl with lots of attitude!

I’m a red blooded heterosexual guy, hold on let me rephrase that! I’m a randy heterosexual guy who ain’t laid a lady in ages, and what’s the association with red blood and virility anyway……….. as you may have guessed I’m pretty confused this evening and lol not high on illegal substances!

Mind you if you’d been following my blog closely you’ll know I’m a breasts and ladies man through and through.

Ok apologies for this post before I begin, it’s bound to upset someone, hopefully 😀 ! You’ll have possibly guessed by the Title above I’ve met a guy who wears women’s dresses………… in fact there’s more than one, I cannot say tooo much about my place of employment because well………. many months ago someone at work read my blog who actually knew me! All I will say is the establishment is education related and populated by many academically (highly) intelligent men and women many of whom lack basic common sense, but that’s another story!

Now criticise me in comments please, but I have to be truthfully honest and say I struggle to understand why these two guys spend their working day dressed in women’s clothing? One of them dyes his head purple and wears denim short skirts, the guy in IT dyes his long hair a shocking shade of ‘bubble gum’ pink and totters around in high healed shoes, though I will say he’s the legs to carry off shear black stockings and pencil skirts!………….. I’m not saying I’d ask him out on a date mind but he’s passable for a lady except for the five o’clock shadow come late afternoon!

Now just so as you’re aware I’m not homophobic, I’m an openminded live and let live type of guy okay!……… I’ve a relative in a same sex relationship, two of my old schoolfriends are gay and I’d sleep with two naked lesbian lovers any day of the week!

Being serious for a second, my place of work of course promotes and supports a LGBT community in the form of themed events and social Groups, in fact Cara (he of denim short skirts) is the President, he seems a nice guy, I of course don’t stare at his legs as I politely say………..

“Good morning Cara” or “weather’s turned cold again” or similar pleasantries however I don’t know these two guys other than to say hello………… now feel free to judge me please but Cara doesn’t appear at all feminine, and perhaps my lack of understanding/appreciation is down to my lack of education, but in my defence since age sixteen I’ve worked in male dominated factories and foundries, stereotypical right wing institutions, frequented by bs spouting working class heterosexuals, some racist and all with tooo much testosterone coursing through their veins………… yes I’m ill informed and possibly prejudicial?

(I’m also playing Devil’s advocate.)

I’m also confused, Cara in LGBT literature refers to himself in print as ‘She’ yet I guess he has a willy? One time I actually witnessed him walk into the lady’s cloak room/toilet and that was a shock and a half I can tell you!! But reading her literature and overhearing gossiping tongues I’m VERY aware if I was to say something out of turn and within earshot, he would formally complain and I’d quite probably lose my job……………….. she takes his Trans Gender extremely seriously I just wish he’d the legs for wearing short skirts that’s all 😀 . Confused? I am.

Perhaps I should enrol myself in the LGBT Society to be informed and educated? I’m open minded with a live and let live outlook, but for my sins I have a strong working class upbringing and wasn’t birthed by over sensitive parents.

But I’m not the only person to be confused, it appears to me British society in the broader sense struggles to understand Transgenderism, you have female guests complaining to the Youth Hostelling Association because they’re sleeping, in what they’d assumed, would be women only bunkbeds only to find Transgender men were sleeping within these open plan dormitories…………. a female journalist said she felt vulnerable uneasy and frightened even, but of course the YHA legally has it’s hands tied.

The Transgender community is very vocal, extremely political and I’d guess British Institutions are frightened to say the wrong thing, scared of landing themselves in Court or caught in the ‘crossfire’ of a Twitter ‘shit-storm’, jeez I’m mixing my metaphors once again!

A penny for your thoughts.

A. Shepherdson 2018

 

 

Eavesdropping on Girls Talk

We ALL listen into stranger’s conversations………… don’t we?

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A question for you, why are women’s conversations so darn interesting?

I am a people watcher by nature, I was going to write aren’t we all? But I know for a fact some people are so self absorbed they are oblivious to what goes on around them, perhaps a little unfair of me. So yes guilty as charged I can’t help watching people go about their normal lives, nothing creepy mind it’s just that if you find human nature fascinating well you have to observe! Oh and I should qualify that statement with I have a terrible habit for eavesdropping, perhaps an unsavoury character trait but if you’re going to chat to your friend about sexually transmitted diseases, then what’s a guy to do except listen in?

I really can’t help myself however I’m far from blameless in fact I blame this new phenomenon of telling the world your private business fairly and squarely on mobile phones! I can stand next to someone in a bus queue and they’ll happily chat about their lives to a friend consequently I’ve become very attuned to conversations going on around me, and I’ve heard some corkers when sitting on the bus enduring the awful evening commute out of Oxford. But what’s to do? For some unknown reason people seem totally comfortable having intimate mobile phone conversations out loud, however the eavesdropper only hears half the conversation so has to fill in the pauses while the other person answers, but don’t you think eavesdropping is just human nature?

(I’m not a gossip though, oh no tell me a secret in confidence and my lips are sealed)

Recently I overheard a lady explaining to a friend on the phone, how she’d just left a solicitor’s office after a meeting with her ex husband, a guy she described in these glowing terms,

“Thankfully I’ll never have to see his stupid little face ever again”, you get the idea they were divorcing.

I should add the half of the conversation I was listening to was the lady gleefully taking her ex hubby to the proverbial cleaners, the alimony, the furniture, the house she got the lot! Although she had to give him a token lump sum, and by the time she’d hung up I both felt sorry for the poor guy and thanked my lucky stars I am single! Mind you she had a pleasant well spoken voice and a personality you could call ‘bitchy’ but then again she was divorcing an ex hubby so perhaps her attitude was understandable……………….. 😀 hmm do I really want to ever marry?

I’ve lost count of the shear number of Court case conversations I’ve eavesdropped on, you see our County’s Crown Court (second highest Court in the land) resides in the city I commute out of, consequently all I can imagine is people leaving Court at 4pm are SO excited and intellectually stimulated, or are so frigging relieved, they jump on the bus, whip out their mobile and tell friends mothers or girlfriends what went on in Court and the outcome of the case, and again I fill in the gaps. I’ve overheard defendants discuss their knife crimes, wounding, robbery convictions and often accompanied with foul language, not forgetting drug abuse and all absolutely staggering conversations so much more entertaining than reading tabloid newspapers, or soap operas on the TV (I don’t watch TV!) Btw I’m not joking the stories I have heard!!

I’ve also overheard conversations that are so sad and upsetting, bare in mind they’re impossible not to overhear, perhaps when someone sits in their comfy Italian leather reclining seat they’re totally aware the person in the seat behind can hear every word? The other week a young woman from the seat in front of me was chatting to her mother in tears, letting her heart out as daughters do explaining how she could no longer afford the mortgage payments on her house and other bills, and by the time I’d descended the double decker stairs to get off believe me when I tell you 20minutes of sadness and upset had left me in bits. I almost felt like giving the young lady a gift of money (but is that patronising to admit), I’ve even felt guilty that I am lucky to be relatively well off!

I don’t know some people seem do get the rough end of life, so far I haven’t, but I’m afraid I’m unsure I could emotionally handle having my life turned upside down? Perhaps the consequence for my timidity is I’m a guy who doesn’t take a risk……. is still single…… a little unhappy lol.

The most entertaining eavesdrop I’ve had by far lol was again sitting on a bus! A jaw dropping tale where the girl behind who was retelling lurid stories of her slutty behaviour while being on holiday with friends in some Spanish holiday resort, fabulously entertaining that was! You’ll get the gist when I say she was a ‘sleep all day, drink party and sex all night girl’, well turns out she’d slept with a different guy every SINGLE night, good for her, you’re a long time dead!

Jeeze I was so envious………… why didn’t I go to Spain in my twenties? 😀

(Btw I’ll skip the conversation where three girls were comparing their shopping purchases and discussing the pitfalls of wearing bras that are tooo small……………….. honestly I ask you!!! And just the other week the girl sitting next to me was regaling tales of her first leg waxing session to her friend………….. after five minutes or so I had to turn and look at her, I smiled with raised eyebrows, she went red and her friend couldn’t stop laughing………….. either I’ve never noticed this before or times have changed and I’m getting old?)

Oh yes back to the entertaining eavesdrop!

Well on another journey home two teenage (@15) girls were seated across the aisle on the other side of the bus, a row in front of me, and suddenly my attention was pricked so to speak because the two young ladies were chatting about relationships and sex, oh and loudly with plenty of passengers within earshot. Well as you can imagine I’m listening into the conversation and I’d guess all the other commuters would have turned down their mp3 media, stopped reading their paperback novels all ears drawn to the girl’s sex talk. Then mid chatting about their love lives, one girl earnestly said to her friend and I could tell she was rather concerned worried and confused, saying in hushed tones,

“Can you catch STD’s from sleeping with another woman?”

Well I’m all frigging ears mulling over questions like ‘well can a woman catch an STD from sex with another woman?’ ‘And if so which ones?’ And I must admit I was as confused as the two girls! Well to cut a short story even shorter, her friend wasn’t much help and didn’t seem to know?

Then all of a sudden a middle age woman sitting a few rows in front of me, turned around from her seat, leant across to the two girls and answered,

“Yes you can my dear, you can catch STD’s.”

And having shared her caring advice she returned to her seat as if nothing had ever happened, then the worried girl turned to her friend and rather seriously said,

:/ “I’d better get myself checked out then” and with that their conversation stopped or changed subject I cannot remember?………….. Hmm I wonder if she did get checked or have an STI.

Well as you can imagine I was in my element listening in (wouldn’t you be? Btw we all were), however I couldn’t help wondering who the rather brave knowledgeable helpful woman was? I remember thinking she must be a lovely person to bravely come to the rescue of a troubled teenager, perhaps she was a mother with daughters? A school teacher? Or just an example of someone with such great empathy, devoid of embarrassment, that she could no longer remain quiet knowing both the correct STI answer and how important the teenagers understood diseases are exchanged skin to skin.

I was truly touched.

I wouldn’t have had the nerve to speak up possibly because I was pretty confused myself! My brain was listing any number of sexual diseases before settling on Genital Herpes, I’m reliably informed Herpes is very easy to pick up from skin to skin sexual contact, but either way I wouldn’t have had the nerve to pipe up and neither did all the other commuters within earshot…………. hmm :/ perhaps men should never get involved #MeToo and all that.

In life there are those who get involved and help others, and there are those who watch and do nothing? So I’m left wondering which one am I?

(Stating the obvious boys talk loudly over their mobile phones………………. but for some reason I only remember lurid tales told by young ladies 😀 probably because lady’s conversations are FAR more interesting engaging and darn right entertaining!)

©A. Shepherdson 2018.

beautiful Princess Anya, a Chatroom lady

Now I have an admission to make (lol said that before!) I began writing this post 14/03/2018 and it’s resided in Draft form ever since, perhaps the reason I didn’t get around to posting is Princess Anya isn’t so much a blog, but more a writing exercise that you could say is themed ‘my take on chatrooms’ .

So what’s to do with this tenuously adult themed tale? Do I publish it? or do I bin it? :/ hmm after much thought I’ve decided to publish and in all honesty I enjoyed reading this tale once again. 🙂

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Don’t you think Anya (cartoon replaced photo) could be mistaken for the girl next door? Demure classy intellectual, a college student perhaps? But how wrong you are! Oh so wrong!

As often happens with my WordPress I’ll tack (nautically) from one questionable opinion to the next because they’re enjoyable to write 🙂 , so be aware I’m going to explain why once in a while I’ll watch a certain lady perform in her chatroom! Btw she’s age20 and it’s all legal proper and above board. 🙂 

Tell you what! Call this post an antidote to my ‘Crime and Punishment’ tale, and a lot more fun. 🙂

I’ll be totally honest with you and say I dislike watching pornography, (that :/ may surprise one or two regular readers lol) but take note I’m not admitting a dislike of watching porn to gain favour with you lovely readers, and I have no real objection against mentally well balanced adults accessing legal consensually performed pornography, only that watching two naked porn actors going at it like rabbits bores me to frigging tears………….. I prefer doing ‘it’ with consenting 18+ live human beings, most of you will be in relationships and isn’t intimacy connection and a meeting of souls? Far more fun!

Btw this post ISN’T discussing the pros and cons arguments for and against legal pornography, only that watching sex bores me frigging rigid, and yes I’ve changed my moral position to thinking Governments should do all they possibly can to stop children having access to imagery they just don’t understand. (Phew that’s a mouthful)……………….. I don’t have children but I have several relatives who ‘have their own little people!’

So yes I’ll admit to watching the odd adult movie in my lifetime!

A short tale for you! When aged 18 myself and a group of 30 apprentices visited Oxford’s Odeon Cinema in George Street, a very very late viewing mind, to watch a soft porn adaptation of Cinderella, I’ll say NO more except imagine a scantily clothed nubile pretty virginal Snow White, then think seven horny dwarfs, use your imaginations and yes you’ve guessed correct!

Was our ‘soft’ movie worth watching? Yes and no, yes because going out of an evening with fabulous young men were some of the happiest days of my life, the comradery you experience with like minded friends you just cannot put a price on. And no, because the pornography was far from sexy, in fact the ‘plot’ was ridiculous to the point of being hilarious and how she managed position 69 without putting her back out I’ll never know.

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Without Googling, why are men SO captivated by womanly breasts? 

Enough of unorthodox fairy tales.

So who is Princess Anya (the lady in the picture)? She is in fact a very VERY successful adult chatroom actress, I’d describe her a classy sensual very much ‘girl next door’ young woman oh and of Indian descent. AND if you’re at all curious I don’t hold the view male paying viewers to her shows are sad old perverts, no! They’re probably decent single guys (mostly), loners or society’s lonely where the internet could be their social life.

Where do I fit into this alternative cyber world of sexual fantasies? Once in a while I’ll pull down the favourites drop down tab on my laptop, where I’ve bookmarked a legal and regulated non spammy secure and safe well known adult website. I’ll fill you in with a little detail, just enough because WordPress may be reading, imagine pages of hundreds of scantily clad young women sitting in a room in their home, any room, in front of a webcam and ‘stripping naked’. Yes you’re there!

Lol I’m one of life’s observers, yes the young women are gorgeous, btw I don’t visit that often note! The girls 18+ are stunning and yes remember masturbation is medically good for one’s mental wellbeing, all good clean fun, but it’s the chat logs on the right hand side that can be addictive viewing full of amusing and intelligent banter and passes ten minutes or so…….. and 😉 what guy doesn’t like watching gorgeous young women undressing, well at least I’m honest!

However I never pay because I’m tight with money.

The male viewers have usernames (note I’m not a member), it’s a chatroom and you know how chatrooms work, they anonymously write a comment, sometimes very funny because they are articulate intelligent men, she’ll laugh reply be playful and a friendship of sorts is struck up. Yes Anya is stringing them along a little, she’s being cheery funny sensual to gain favour and get paid tokens but their conversation surprisingly isn’t disgusting it’s actually entertaining viewing. 

Btw virtual tokens are purchased with real money, ‘punished plastic’ if you get my meaning!

Time to time moderators enter the chatroom to check on the appropriateness of behaviour, if some hate writing bully chimes with obscenities the lady blocks him, and by the time Anya has 10,000 men close to uhmm a state of nearing sexual excitement (going by the frenzied chat log), Anya switches Private allowing those who’ve paid $5 in tokens to watch her private performance.

The screen the goes blank, and the room is Private!

And because I’m tight fisted miser I don’t pay to watch, then for the next 15 minutes Anya puts on a masturbation show, is she wrong and disgusting? You decide. And how do I know what goes on in her show? We’ll for one I’m an intelligent guy with an awesome imagination and two because the viewers continue to write a chat log on the right hand side! And interesting entertaining reading it is to with the guys writing whilst watching Anya’s private performance, and remember these guys are wordsmiths of a sort, articulate and witty, they carry on writing a running commentary of Anya’s bedroom antics positions and use of toys AND the are respectful…………….. Jeeze lol use your imaginations please!! And for those of who you who are a little prim and proper look away now, as Anya performs I’d guess hundreds of men are sat in front of their computer screens watching and w##king.

So what do I make of all these sexy shenanigans? I have absolutely no problem with adult performers and their chatrooms apart from one overriding essentially important caveat, legal moderated chatrooms are fine as long as they cannot be accessed by children.

Goes without saying I’m a moral mentally well balanced good hearted human being so viewing would be fine, and if you could 100% guarantee ALL children cannot access regulated chatrooms on the internet, then I honestly have no problem but again banning pornography is your own moral choice to make. However back in the real world we know children unfortunately do watch, and I guess me saying chatrooms are ok is a pact with the devil if EVER there was one. :/

I have a relative with little people of his/her own, work it out lol, he/she has parental locks set on all their children’s media devices, flagged up sexual words will filter out inappropriate websites, setting preferences will stop their children seeing unwanted sexual images, they have their own phones but the deal/pact with Mum and Dad is at any time of the adult’s choosing they can take an iPad or phone off the little person and examine their browsing history.

The family pact also states, if preferences and locks have been tampered with, adult web addresses attempted then the device is confiscated and ‘the little people’ are fine with this pact, they also learn that life has rules and consequences and they haven’t reneged on the deal although email has been disabled for non sexual related incidents. The ‘little people’ are learning to be responsible! I’ll finish by saying the parental pact works because the adults in question are intelligent, clever, caring and responsible alas not every parent is either tech savvy or actually cares.

As for beautiful Princess Anya, she is one talented lady oh yes she is a VERY clever young woman (possibly the most shapely firm perky tits I’ve ever seen!) And her bedroom antics are pretty amazing (apparently remember I don’t pay to watch) but more importantly Anya is a bubbly witty playful personable intelligent young woman, she’s a friend to lonely men and her finely crafted skilfully honed feminine charms will seldom be bettered.

I watch her interacting with viewers, observe, listen and read her chat log and I’m convinced she’s a woman who could hold any audience in the palm of her hand, her skillset is exactly the same as any TV evangelist preacher except Anya’s not extorting money from penniless congregations who can ill afford it (she’s not lying to them either). I’d say she is a more honest human being, men pay for her adult service and she gives them what they want, I’d suggest Anya’s a morally genuine person more so than any Politician working in British politics, actually I’m convinced. Hmm perhaps one day she venture into politics, she could, it happens.

So she takes her clothes off for money, who cares? Are her talents wasted? Yes, but she appears to be having fun and making money and I’m ok with anyone living the life they wish as long as it hurts no one.

Now I move onto Patti, she’s a whole different woman all together, age 40 and quite probably a mother herself and again she strips for money! Several years ago I watched a TV program investigating the murky world of strip bars, and interestingly many of the young women were single mothers……………….. judge people at your peril.

Patti is fabulous, I like Patti, she’s your mate’s Auntie or your mum’s best friend lol the dictionary definition of MILF, and to look at her sitting in her kitchen you wouldn’t have guessed she was a sex worker of sorts, unless I’d told you! However the absence of a bra, unfettered large boobs underneath a tight fitting tee shirt kinda gives her job away. Once again when she’s been payed enough well earnt tokens, off come the clothes and Patti ‘performs’ in front of her kitchen sink! And no NO I’m not linking the website.

So now to the question you are ALL hopefully asking, how much money does Anya make performing a 2 hour show? Remember 1hr 45 minutes is chatting and interacting with male viewers, getting them excited, clean chat with no demands bullying or hate, then she’ll set Private, hundreds of $5 tokens will pile in and doing the quick Math I think she made $700 for a 15 minute strip show.

Just imagine $350/hr………….. several times a day! (Most girls won’t earn this)

I should finish by saying I make no personal judgements, Anya is a wealthy young woman, empowered, self employed, she hurts no one so good for her and knowing the direction society is morally taking us, I have a feeling any future mainstream employers won’t care less anyway. Further still I’d guess many of the other performers will be single mothers, and all will be earning money to feed themselves, pay the bills so why not dance naked at least they’re not degrading themselves in porn flicks!

One day I’ll have to pay and watch Anya perform naked with toys, captured by various camera angles with her legs akimbo, trouble is that means spending $5 and I’m as tight as #ssholes. 😀 then again she is beautiful.

One final thought, the question crosses my mind would I want a daughter to perform in chatrooms and the answer has to be no, but if a friend or sister wanted to strip naked on the internet for money (consensually and over age18) then I’d be cool, her life her body I make no moral judgements!

(Original to March 2018, btw I have @ ten more posts in draft…………… I’m feeling a little glum this evening, these wordy essays aren’t what you’d define as blogging)

© A. Shepherdson 2018

 

“Cabin boy stuffed his arse with broken glass and now he’s circumcised the Skipper”

I love the English Language.

I have for you this evening a fun amusing (finger’s crossed) light hearted post not to be taken tooo seriously, and jeez don’t you find time passes all to quickly in life generally, oh and here on WordPress, a week’s passed and I haven’t ‘published’ (for several reasons) but there you are.

So like I said time for a post that’s a little more light hearted and how does the Muppets backing vocals to a Sex Pistols song grab you? Hey? I’d like to theme this post our love of Language and introduce you to a word you may have never heard before.

Frigging! (And yes it’s in the Oxford English Dictionary)

Frigging: My go to Blog word in place of profanity/vulgarity, I’ll even go as far as to say it’s becoming a firm favourite, you’re all lovers of the English Language, so have you ever heard the word and do you know what Frigging means? Have you ever seen it written into a Blog? I tend to use Frigging in place of swearing within my Blog, it’s less vulgar and sound’s awesome dripping off the tongue!

But before I begin, here are the Sex Pistols and quite unbelievably a Muppet cover! I dare you not to smile. 😀

(I do hope the Band’s South London accent translates and you’ll understand the lyrics if not Google! However alas I don’t think the video ‘combo’ is Jim Henson’s but apparently he loved it!)

A second reason for writing this evening’s post is I came to realise after writing for a few months on WordPress my language was appalling, and by that I mean foul language. Oh yes I used f### and s###, as noun verb and it’s descriptive sister in crime adjective far far tooo often, once or twice is ok? Any more and the F word loses all shock value, it’s okay to perhaps emphasise a calamity or the worst of behaviour but unacceptable remembering teenagers may read my Posts? Don’t please 🙂 . AND as my old School teacher used to chastise, swearing is ‘lazy writing’ and I’m inclined to agree.

Not quite acceptable in everyday spoken polite society but if you did say “Frig me” or “Frigging Hell” it’s just about acceptable………… certainly sounds less harsh on the ear than ‘F’.

I first stumbled across Frigging as an 11yr old and I can remember precisely where I was and who said it. By Martin Ashby on a Scout camp in Hampshire 19##. But I’m doubtful anyone reading this post has either used or perhaps ever heard of Frigging? ……………… OMFG I’ve only this second realised I haven’t shared The Oxford English Dictionary meaning with you………….. Frigging means clitoral stimulation or to a lesser extent male masturbation, and now you know the meaning doesn’t it sound rather delicious? Anyways I apologise for revealing so late in this evening’s post. 

So there you are, Frigging! I hope to see it written in your blog posts sooon! And btw don’t assume I’m a grammatical expert ask me to define verb and I’ll answer FU.

©A. Shepherdson 2018