My neighbour IS a Stripper!

Original fiction written by myself (Andrew 🙂 ) and after rather painful reading one week later, I wished I’d waited because lol the beginning to my ‘erotic’ tale is rather painful reading. Just so as you know I’ve edited slightly, lol you live and learn!

Let us agree to descibe this as flawed but fun?

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No actor played the ‘Voyeur’ better than James Stewart……………….. 
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………… watching ‘Miss Torso’s’ ass (well you would wouldn’t you!)

(And btw a tale of Voyeurism and NOT the movie ‘Rear Window’)

🙂 Now please read on………………………..

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Movie still directed by ‘James Spader’

One late summer’s evening ten or so years ago, standing whilst leaning against my bedroom window-sill I gazed out upon a typically British urban scene, though not necessarily looking at the detached house of my neighbours opposite, if you really wish to know and I hope you do for the purposes of this tale, I’d awoken that summer’s night to watch one of natures true wonders, sheet lightning illuminating the pitch dark sky accompanied by ear shattering claps of thunder, so loud I’d flinch with shock! I don’t believe in God and creationism, but watching this impending thunder storm, a true marvel of our natural world, I couldn’t wait for the lashing rain, perhaps on evenings such as these I’ll contemplate ‘the meaning of life’, because surely some divine ruler must have created this spectacular display!

So I’ll ask you a question, before an electric lightning thunder show consummates with a pavement smashing deluge of rain, transforming the air icy cold within seconds, how do they begin? Yes and I hope you’re keeping up, that particular evening was uncomfortably warm, a humid balmy atmosphere meaning sleep was restless if not impossible and if you are unacquainted with British weather, evenings such as these happen only three or four times a year in Britain and looking sideways at houses along my street, all my neighbours windows were open with curtains gently fluttering in time with the humid breeze.

Then all of a sudden, catching me totally unawares, an attic room light switched on in the house opposite, a white light so bright against its dark brown tiled pitched roof, this room glowed in the night. The shock quite startled me from contemplative thoughts of life wonderment and creation, and for the life of me I suddenly felt the urge to all but stumble toward a bedroom shelf and grab my pair of birdwatching binoculars and btw I’m NOT a ‘peeping Andrew’ by nature, but yes I’ll admit to watching pretty ladies boobs. Binoculars in hand, I hurriedly returned to my bedroom sill position steadying myself looking at the attic room window across the street (and please be aware I’ve never done this before or since, as for legalities?) I’d propose ‘an Englishman’s home is his castle’ and this bedroom window is mine to peep through if I so wish………… now call the Police! 

(Ok I’d agree watching through binoculars was a touch creepy, hey ho!)

With my two elbows propped upon the sill, I can clearly remember physically trembling as I brought the binoculars up to my eyes, then seconds after locating this brilliant white light, finally my neighbour’s room focussed into view and wow that window opposite flooded the optics in entirety and clarity. As if only metres away, I could clearly see the room inside with it’s white painted walls and a second window directly behind looking out onto the farm fields beyond, because this attic room sat below a roof sided apex, it’s very own bedroom walls have you will, only the centre part of the room was tall enough for one person to stand upright in.

Remember this fact because it is important to my tale!

Now to my second heart stopping shock of this truly eventful evening, sparking my imaginations alive the silhouette of a middle aged woman walked into the room’s centre, a slim bodied female pausing opposite our bedroom windows and WOW lucky me watching from across the street. I of course knew this lady well, and let us name her Helen for the purposes of this tale, there she stood motionless, a handsome looking woman 55years old if a day and no taller than 5’5″, yes she’s a girlish Grandmother in the autumn years of her life but with her slender figure, pert bosom and wrinkle free skin, I’m here to tell you mature lady Helen would make many a young buck’s groin twitch hard!

I gulped and swallowed, my trembling hands trying their utmost to keep the binoculars steady, yet my imagination has seldom felt more alive before or since because I’m telling you now, watching any woman is thrilling and sure to make my penis throb hard.

Though the thought crossed my mind, ‘Helen could well be aware Andrew is spying through her window?’

And so for half an hour or so, playing out before my disbelieving eyes began an eroticised performance a guy wishes for in his wildest dreams, sexual fantasies of near naked women sending him to sleep, curled fingers reigning in his bucking hardness, tingling balls within a bulging scrotum ready to shoot their warm sticky seed!

With every nerve in my body electrified alive, I watched as my neighbour Helen wandered the tiny space for what I always assumed was a bedroom, left then right she moved but always returning to her room’s middle window and my transfixed view, only disappearing for seconds at a time, Helen would pause motionless and the thought crossed my mind ‘was she hoping expecting I’m watching her slim figure clothed by only a mustard yellow tee shirt?’ Oh and white shorts clearly visible above her deep silled window.

Then suddenly she turned to lean out the opposite window, gaze for herself at the electric lightning show beyond, and oh my god like a proverbial streak of lightning, I realised those weren’t shorts Helen was wearing because in the process of stretching and leaning forward, the tops of two pink thighs came into view exposing just a hint of rosy buttock cheeks, oh my sweet Jesus… ‘Helen wore panties and NOT shorts after all!’ 

Shocks like these aren’t healthy for a man my age but instinctively I knew I’d never watch the like of this ever again, secretly viewing attractive knicker wearing women come only once in a lucky man’s lifetime.

Perhaps now bored of watching God’s lighting show, or having decided Andrew had seen quite enough of her ass, Helen glanced into the room’s centre and proceeded to shock me yet again. Holy %&’$ is this woman trying to murder me for in one choreographed graceful movement she slipped off her panties before tossing to one side so revealing a triangular mop of brown pubic hair to match her locks of brunette, a shoulder length style that suited her thinnish pretty face for as I said Helen’s a handsome woman.

Now naked from the waist down, well just below her hairy covered vulva and no not even my binoculars could focus that passport ‘slit’ to heaven, Helen again began to glide her tiny bedroom space all the time with pieces of cloth to hand, five glorious minutes passed by though I have a feeling Helen’s laundry folding display took a good while longer, yet again catching me unawares my sexy neighbour paused, her slim body framed picture perfect behind the attic window, her pretty face wistfully gazing across the room through a stare of deep concentration, and that’s when the ‘proverbial penny dropped’, at last I understood the reason she’d stare into space, ‘Helen’s gazing at her reflection in a mirror opposite isn’t she!’

Placing two hands aside her hips, she all but swayed in a rhythmic arc, first to the left then to the right all the while eyes fixed upon a distant object perhaps a full body length mirror? Oh yes I’ve never been more certain of a fact in my life Helen was admiring her reflection of that I’m now sure, then catching me quite unawares how many more times can this happen? She smoothed her hands across the cotton tee shirt, palms gliding up and over two gentle mounds of pert peaky bosom, only pausing to cup hold and squeeze and why not for she possessed a shapely pair of tits.

My groin ‘bucked’ as if about to ejaculate creamy sticky semen, but I didn’t cum as pleasure giving chemicals coursed through my brain, I gulped hard to catch a breath because for truly the first time that humid summer’s evening, I sensed something near unbelievable was about to happen yes and oh my sweet Jesus yes, Helen began to remove a last remaining garment, with two hands gently clasping the hem of her tee shirt, in one flowing movement Helen drew the garment upwards over her head with long hair pulling messily through the opening, before tossing to one side. And there she stood, motionless, eyes transfixed to a reflection gazing back, very nearly naked with her mopped pubic hair, a pink slender torso and breasts enclosed within her brilliant white bra.

‘Yes a bra! And there’s me assuming women just don’t bother when at home?’ 

God knows how I didn’t cum, though I could hardly breath through cheeks burning hot and a heart racing so fast it was surely about to explode, and there Helen stood for what seemed minutes thoughtfully admiring her beauty with pursed amused lips and hint of girlish smile. Yes she appreciated her aged body because Helen was still a handsome looking lady, then just as my trembling hands calmed she reached behind, stretching her arms she fumbled the clasp on her bra band allowing the delicate garment of intimate lingerie to fall from her body, hoops of bra strap slipping down smooth skinned arms towards the floor.

And there she stood motionless, my sexy neighbour from across the road stark naked from just below her waste up, two gentle mounds of small pointy breasts and if my eyes didn’t deceive me I’d guess they were a double AA cup. Que the culmination of this evening’s excitement, almost the instant she dropped her bra I climaxed, came hard within my night time boxers shorts, and all without hand stimulation for remember they gripped my binoculars! Feeling my groin ejaculate warm sticky semen stream across my inner thighs, and if you’re really curious my first hands free orgasm at the sight of a naked woman.

Two thousand seconds had ticked from the alarm clock on the bedside table, that’s how long our strip show lasted, a voyeurs delight the like of which I’d only seen in ‘dirty videos’, and now as Helen smiled at her reflection, my breathless mind began to regain composure, feeling utterly exhausted I lent back perching on the side of my bed, nights such as these come but once in a lucky guy’s lifetime, and as for all you readers shaking their head and muttering phrases like,

“Dirty Peeping Tom!”

Remember the window I gazed out of this balmy summer’s evening is on my property, yes you could label me voyeuristic and pervy, but this view is mine to own and I would suggest to any lady undressing herself naked, perhaps it’s prudent to close one’s curtains first!

Though hold on just a second, there’s always the hope Helen knew I was watching, timed her attic room strip after seeing my silhouette pressed against the bedroom window, watching this spectacular thunder lightning show. Hmm maybe she wished me to watch? Perhaps she hoped I’d be naughtily masturbating at the sight of her youthful Grandma’s breasts? Who knows but those two thoughts amuse me to this day whenever we meet in the street, hmm are we both playing mind games of,

‘You didn’t know I was watching on that warm summer’s night……. did you?’

So how did my sultry evening’s tale end, I guess after minutes of looking admiringly at her nude reflection and why an earth not, well as abruptly as this theatrical show began, so just as abruptly ‘came’ the finale or as I’d like to muse Helen thought I’d seen quite enough nudity. Just at that point of orgasm she disappeared from view, the attic room turned pitch black and I placed the binoculars upon the window sill beside me. Yes this once in a lifetime finished with my pleasured body cooling, my conscious mind happy and spent I quietly watched tonight’s thunder show’s final climatic scene, the air temperature tumbled as cooling rain lashed the tarmac road opposite, so cold in fact I returned to my bed a satisfied but exhausted man.

😀 I gotta leave you with a question, if you caught a glimpse of a sexy person undressing in their bedroom, would you watch or turn away?

The End.

(I hope reader’s enjoyed my tale and for those who didn’t, a photo post follows sooon……… unless I change my mind………. which I often do!)

A. Shepherdson 2019

Sexy, a fashion nightmare for the older woman?

Just for fun 🙂 .
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“Mutton dressed up as Lamb” Is a British way of describing a (deluded) older woman who is dressed in a style more suited to a younger woman, also slightly derogatory because she’s deliberately trying to appear young.

Or you may prefer Bernadette Matthews definition at mumsnet.com: 

‘Too much leg and cleavage on show at the same time!’

Regular readers to this WP will be aware I love interacting with other writers, well this evening I’ve a response post prompted by the excellent LA and her thought provoking blog Forever21, I urge you to follow she’s possibly my favourite blogger, slightly irreverent, ladles of honest American attitude and oozing oodles of common sense,.

‘I dressed in an outfit that I thought was good for the event and that I felt confident in. And basically, this is how you should feel when you walk out the door. A friend saw a picture of me and said that I looked stylish and sexy, which of course was my exact goal. But then I started to wonder- was I starting to push it?

So, while we were on line, I said this to my friend, who is in excellent shape and looks great for any age, and she simply shook her head and said “Yeah. I know. When do we actually look good for our age, and when do we start to look ridiculous.”

Ok I agree, LA probably didn’t have the derogatory and unfair ‘label’ mutton dressed up as lamb’ at the point of her writing ‘when do we look good for our age and when do we start to look ridiculous’, but hey they make interesting bedfellows don’t you think?

I’d suggest the what to wear dilemma hardly ever crosses a guy’s mind, I’m age 50 and feel completely comfortable wearing charcoal black jeans matched with a light blue Oxford long sleeved shirt, perhaps a sweater and smart shoes, all very casual, a look I could wear at work or down the pub of a weekend and I’d guess no one gives me a second glance………. HOWEVER I have no doubt what NOT to wear is a real headache for the older woman!

So as I’m at a lose end I did a little on-line surfing all in the name of research, oh and because I’m a guy who knows sweet FA about fashion! Then I happened across this jewel of Debenham’s research which said,

‘When it comes to fashion, nine in ten women aim to dress younger than their years. And more than half say they won’t start ‘dressing their age’ until they are at least 70’, further ‘Over half said they began to dress younger in their 30s and 90 per cent admitted they had started to dress younger by their mid-40s’.

Now LA’s a lady who loves lists and these Top 10 Items You’re Too Old to Wear, read as brilliant advice, and remember I know sweet FA about fashion, clueless, however I’m as quick to judge and point my finger as every other guy so why not give an opinion! Hmm, and I wouldn’t disagree with their 10 ‘fashion minefields’,

  1. Message tee shirts
  2. Too trendy denim
  3. Costume shoes
  4. Micro mini skirts
  5. Anything Showing Excessive Cleavage/Visible or coloured bra straps.
  6. White, Ribbed Cotton Tank Tops
  7. Hair gadgets
  8. Oversized decorated Hobo Bags
  9. Cheap unflattering underwear
  10. Loud accessories

“But trying too hard only calls attention to yourself – it’s overcompensating. You don’t need to dress like a teenager to look young.”

As I’ve said before I’m a keen observer of the human female mammal, read my posts, and I would suggest the true bananas skin, fashion fau-pa opportunity is sexiness, get it wrong wear a short a black leather skirt, heals inches too high, blouses too low cut are a recipe for unwanted attention from men, and disapproving looks from women worried about losing their man and I ain’t saying nothing about looking like a hooker!

Just avoid anything four inches or more above the knee and add tights to make a short skirt less risqué, say the experts. Or wear chic straight skirts, classy being the watchword, allowing you to show off some curves without making you look as though you’re pretending to be born after the Bill Clinton years!

It’s a worry but classy is the watch word, trouser jeans you can wear from the PTA meeting to a party when paired with the right top, stylish padded shoes with wider thicker heels and definitely avoid anything that shows excessive cleavage or visible coloured bra straps……….. or any underwear for that matter.

0818a65ff44362f28e79ebac376d6ec2I realise the older woman would never be caught dressed like this, whoever lol thought low-cut jeans and thongs was a good idea? But I guess the saying ‘you’re only young once applies!

Apparently the more mature lady ‘shouldn’t feel she needs to show it all off. Anything below the middle of your bustline has got to go,’ ‘A little goes a long way,” and no excessive ‘boobage’ past the age of 40, displaying too much sagging skin apparently is a no no, so go for a blouse underneath, unbutton a few buttons and you’re going to look sexy but classy’.

Having said all that, the summer of 2018 was one of Britain’s hottest, and I can recall as if yesterday sitting on the top deck of a bus, looking out the window and watching a woman age 65 if a day. Totally captivated I was, for this mature lady in her blue pencil skirt and restrained high heels wore a tight fitting tee shirt with, wait for it, no bra! And all I’ll add to that is she was a ‘big girl’ yet looked both classy and ravishing!

Way to go madam.

And now we arrive at number 9 ‘Cheap, Unflattering Underwear’ and I’ll profess to being an interested expert! As I’ve written before M&S tells us most women are not fitted properly, a woman’s breasts and body sags so I guess underwear needs to be as supportive as it is sexy.

Having said all or that, our Group Secretary at work throughout Summer wears low cut print dresses displaying her ample assets, the only trouble is us Technicians are NOT listening to our lecturing Professor! Yep I agree, appropriate sexiness is where an older woman can look classy or yes ‘Mutton Dressed Up as Lamb’.

And finally advice from the experts.

“Every woman must make her own decisions about when to break the rules, but what you’re striving for isn’t to look youthful – it’s to look ageless, this way, you’re going to look fabulous because the look is appropriate for you.”

A. Shepherdson 2019

How Long is an Average Length? (Penises)

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2 questions for you, do you know the average length of a human male erect penis? Also have you ever wished to know? If so read on!

I’m a respectfully playful soul on-line, all good fun and it passes the time quite pleasurably, so having tagged this post NSFW, I think it’s ok to share a question that’s sparked and arced my juvenile imagination for as long as I can remember, namely ‘how long is an average length?’ Btw please note this post’s content is about on a par as a woman’s magazine or an encyclopaedia!

Let me begin.

So yes I’m wondering this evening, how long is average length in inches OR centimetres? And no we’re not talking about the length of my telescope! So what do you do when you have a question that’s always puzzled you? You Google ’cause the days of visiting the library are alas long gone…………. yikes it’s been ages since I last visited a public library 😦 .

Amazingly, as of this moment in time I can only remember asking one lady this rather unusual question, and she gave hand-relief for a living! Well think for a second it’s just not the question to ask in polite company is it, women that is, because we men will discuss our lengths until the proverbial cows come home and compare when group showering………… oh yes we will, and do!!

Before I get to the point of sharing my vital statistics, and you just knew I was going to share my length didn’t you? Here are a few facts and figures to keep you amused. And yes I did once get a steel rule out to measure, I’ll admit to that one lol. So let’s talk statistics shall we, yes I researched facts and figures on the www, then blended with my own thoughts and opinions as always, that is apart from several highlighted quotations lifted from appropriate websites, i.e. thoughts on body image!

A collaboration between King’s College and our very own NHS polled 15,521 men, wow that is some serious studying, measuring both their penis length and girth when erect, now wait for it! Are you sitting down comfortably?

The average length of a penis when erect is 13.1cm/5.16″, now didn’t you always wish to know that? And there’s more, the average girth (circumference) is 11.6cm/4.59″ now I have to say if that’s the average then I’m feeling rather deflated!

You want more stats? Ok, the average length when flaccid is 9.2cm/3.16″ and the average softened girth is 9.32cm/3.67″, again I’m feeling slightly deflated if you’ll excuse the pun!! Now if all those figures seem low to you, it just goes to show the size of one’s penis isn’t such a big deal after all, and perhaps the length of a man’s aroused member, swollen appendage ain’t worth worrying about anyway!

More stats? I’ve got them! Only 5% of erect penises are bigger than 16cm/6.3″ long, now that figure cheered me up no end (excuse the pun), likewise only 5% of men have a penis shorter than 10cm/3.94″.

And now to growing old? For those of us closer to the end than the beginning penis size does get shorter with age, men in their 60’s to 70’s may lose 0.4″ to 0.6″ in penis length and interestingly, I never knew this, any increase in body fat percentage can result in the penis appearing smaller as a man ages………… now there’s an incentive for keeping one’s weight down, 0.4″-0.6″ may not seem a lot to a guy but it may mean the world to your partner!

More facts and figures? Ok one more, an internet-based survey of more than 50,000 men and women revealed 45% of men would like a larger penis.

‘Each penis is unique and boys develop at different ages and rates. During puberty, usually between the ages of 11 and 18, the penis and testicles develop more rapidly, although the penis doesn’t stop growing until the age of 21.’

So what does the fair sex think? 

Several studies that I happened across during my not so scientific research, suggested penis size is much lower on their list of priorities than for say, personal grooming also a man’s personality and all I can say is thank goodness for that! That’s the best news I came across all evening! In fact 85% of women were satisfied with their partner’s erection whereas only 55% of men were satisfied with the length of their own, and speaking for myself every guy is so very proud of his own appendage but when asked we’d all admit that we’d prefer a longer one……………. now I detest visual pornography but I did happen to watch a movie starring this black guy by the name of ‘Mandingo’, incredibly he had a 30cm/12″ penis and what’s more he knew how to use it!!

😮 12″ ffs!

According to a Professor Wylie on the internet? (Seriously the website said ‘Wylie’, or were they taking the piss?)

“It may come as a surprise to some young men, but most women have very little interest in the size of their penis and that’s been shown in numerous studies over time, research shows that when it comes to sex, women are much more interested in whether you are romantic, tender and sensitive to their needs and desires than your penis size.”

Yet more data for you, and come on be honest we all like comparing our preferences to national statistics. A published report by UCLA no less, showed 84% of women feel “very satisfied with their man’s penis size”, though that doesn’t differentiate between girth and length? Yes men worry whether their penis will sexually satisfy their partners but apparently we men can get equally anxious worrying about how we look naked, and personally speaking how my body is perceived by a lady does worry me!

And now we come to that old chestnut does size matter? Of particular concern for some men is whether their penis will be sexually satisfying for themselves also their partner, and according to the internet, when it comes to sexual intercourse bigger may not always be better, now there’s some good news for you!

In yet another study, researchers interviewed 75 sexually active women asking what size of penis they would prefer for a one-night stand, apparently they preferred a 16.25cm/6.4″ erect penis and a mind blowing 12.7cm/5″ in girth, that’s circumference to you keep up, 5″ wow that’s BIG!! However women in long term relationships preferred a 16cm/6.3″ long penis with a girth of 12.2cm/4.8″, now in my opinion that’s still one big penis!

Yet another similar study of women’s preferences, published in BMC Women’s Health, found that penis girth was more important than length for sexual satisfaction, hmm interesting!

And what about people with big feet? Yeh that old wives tale. Well no evidence has been found linking penis size to foot size or ethnicity, so a no to that fake news, and like I said it is believed that a higher BMI and old age are weakly associated with a shorter erect penis……….. and note, there is some truth in the fact men who drive big cars have small dicks!

Btw if you are a guy reading this just for fun post and wish to measure your own length erection, get a rule then measure from the base where it connects to your pubic bone, right to the tip of your glans which is the bellend purple helmet, however don’t forget to subtract any additional length associated with foreskin, that’s cheating! As for girth, I measured the width of my shaft inserting the figure into a maths equation 3.14xD or 2×3.14xR.

Oh and I came across this gem observation,

‘Feeling inadequate can really damage a man’s self-confidence and affect his social life. It can lead to issues from being unable to using public urinals or shared shower rooms, to avoiding intimate relationships.’

Well personally speaking I have never ever looked at a man’s penis when inside public urinals, jeez can’t you get arrested for that? But being serious for a second I guess a worried teenager/young man could feel inadequate, leading to low-self esteem, affect his relationship with women but the good news is all this research tells us women aren’t to bothered by size anyway? Similarly research sadly appears to show anxiety about penis size may arise after taunts from other children during adolescence, or remarks from a sexual partner and I can imagine that level of bullying would hurt.

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(Left, a Greek statue)

And finally penises of course feature throughout art history and culture……. As we know from cave paintings and ancient sculpture man has always placed great importance on the size of his penis, with many cultures associating penis size with masculinity, what’s more throughout the ages, long penises had come to symbolise qualities such as virility, fertility, strength, ability and courage. Some cultures even went to extreme lengths to try to increase the size of their penis, and don’t imagine I already know these following two nuggets of trivia because I didn’t, apparently Indian mystics known as Sadhus had been known to stretch their penis from an early age by hanging weights on it, while the Topinama tribesmen of Brazil encouraged poisonous snakes to bite their penis to enlarge it.

Ouch!!

If you suffer from low self esteem here are a few tips to help with positive body image, incidentally lifted directly from one of those Medic websites and so very true.

‘If you’re unhappy with your body, whether it’s the size of your penis or the look of any other part of you, try these helpful tips for feeling better about yourself:
Focus on the characteristics and body parts you do like, such as broad shoulders or a nice smile.
Maintain a healthy weight and incorporate strength training into your exercise routine. If you look fit and healthy, you may feel better about yourself.
Don’t become consumed by penis size. You can be a satisfying sexual partner regardless of the size of your penis.
Don’t compare yourself to athletes, models, and actors. You’ll develop an unhealthy and unrealistic image of what is normal and how you should look.
Spend more time and energy on pursuits you find rewarding, whether it’s sports, hobbies, traveling, or other activities. Lasting self-esteem comes from nonphysical traits, such as creativity, intelligence, and your values.’

Wouldn’t you agree that’s sound advice for life in general?

So I guess if there’s any conclusions to be made, it appears plenty of men wonder if they are at or near the average penis size, when the actual truth is a majority of men are within a close range of the average length and girth………………… hmm do I have tooo much time on my hands?

Oh yes I nearly forgot to say my appendage erect is a good percentage above average length, yay! But alas I’m a percentage smaller on girth the figure women Really worry about 😉 , and no I’m not saying by how much! 😀 

So is an average length of 13.1cm/5.16″ a surprise to you?

©A. Shepherdson 2019

“Holy crap I’m on the bra and knickers Floor!” (True story Tuesday)

You should know me by now! I’m a fascinated observer of the female human mamal, anything wrong in that?

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So with this week’s blog topic in mind, daily posts themed around women’s lingerie, I’m going to raise the tone of this ‘blog’ and write a post about yes women’s underwear, a tale prompted by mistakenly finding myself on ‘Marks and Spencer’s’ floor devoted to women’s undergarments…….. if you’ve never heard of M&S all you need to understand is 70% of women buy their underwear here, with Oxford’s Branch having half a floor devoted solely to this most Holy of intimate garment, seriously a cavernous expanse of delicate lingerie hanging in aisles interspersed by the occasional size 8 mannequin, dolled up in err……….. well use your imagination please!

Whatever the age M&S is Britain’s go to knicker store.

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And yes that is ‘Camilla Windsor’ being shown around M&S’s lingerie department!

When one descends the escalator within Oxford’s Debenhams department store, from top floor down to level number three, a traveller aboard this slow travelling walkway will invariably pass by ladies with a thoughtful expression etched across their brow and holding up some delicate garment of lingerie to the light. She’s of course deeply concentrated wondering whether this bra or pair knickers will look good on her figure, does she like the colour and of course most importantly of all whether purchasing is worth the asking price? Perhaps contemplating trying it on before going home and buying it a third off from Amazon? 

Yes? No? Please don’t answer………… and do people do this? I mean use a store only to test goods out? I hope not, I’m now very conscious of trying to buy what I need on the High Street or Mall, because  disappearing Town centres are often the heart of a community and they do provide jobs.

As an aside, Jeff Bezos Amazon has a one trillion dollar turnover, to me that stinks of a great many City centre shops having to close and many many thousand of workers having lost their jobs, PLUS he pays very little tax instead funnelling British online purchases through offices in Luxembourg…………. frigging hell man, at least pay the taxes you owe!!

Where was I before sidestepping into an angry rant, oh yes women purchasing their underwear! Actually if I wasn’t a skilled engineer I’d like to work in a lingerie department just to stand and watch these err sexy goings on, in fact I’d work for free!! Just imagine handling these pretty pieces of cloth ALL day long, mind you I’d stop at any ideas of helping out in the bra fitting rooms, sorry but that’s just plain creepy!

Jeez my train of consciousness even takes me back sometimes!

Where was I? Riding escalators observing women buy their underwear, and no I don’t return straight up to the top floor so as I can watch these ladies on the return journey down again, jeeze that would be just plain creepy (again) hmm would be fun though, even pressing that emergency red button that stops accidents from happening, err hasn’t 😀 ever crossed my mind!

However walking through Marks and Spencer’s first floor lingerie department in Oxford UK, is a WHOLE lot more emotionally nerve-racking, truly, at this point you may be perhaps thinking ‘A. Shepherdson pray why are you looking at women’s underwear?’ No NO I don’t wear lingerie, no if you need to return an item purchased, in order to reach ‘Returns Exchanges and Refunds’ situated at the rear of Floor 1, you have to walk through yes this gigantic expanse full of women’s underwear, rows and rows of it! Slightly disconcerting actually brushing past lacy pink twinsets, a sight captured by the corner of my eye because I’m not looking.

M&S’s underwear department used to be on the ground floor, to be more exact in front of the entrance to the food hall, then one time I had to take an unwanted item back, made for Returns on first floor, and there facing me is a retail cathedral space dedicated to just lingerie, I actually froze my feet unable to walk! They’d gone and redesigned the interior of the shop hadn’t they! In a state of near panic I walked up to a young lady dressed in black with her back to me, reaching to hang up a garment or take it down and asked her,

“Excuse me Miss, can you tell me where the Return’s counter is?”

This brunette young woman turned around, as startled as I was and no older than sixteen, well I ask you how was I to know this tall girl was a mere teenager? Jeez we all make honest mistakes, well her cheeks blushed and she nervously answered,

“Sorry I don’t work here”, and then her eyes quickly darted sideways to look at someone now standing beside me, I also turned to this person now stalking its prey, ME a single guy speaking with her daughter, and who did I see? Yes a middle aged woman and by the look of her quite obviously the young girl’s mother, well you can tell can’t you! The mother slightly taken aback then burst out laughing before saying,

“She doesn’t work for Marks and Spencer’s” and btw now smiling,

So I quickly replied “Oh no! Sorry I mistook her for a salesperson?” The mother laughed again saying “no worries” and I quickly turned and made for an exit, talk about embarrassing! Anyways I returned to the Store hours later, asked an actual member of staff this time for directions, and yes they’d moved Returns to way behind those racks of hanging underwear.

Yes a misunderstanding all around, omg I’m closer to the end than the beginning, my heart cannot take mild shocks like it use to!

Hmm amuses me still how nervous I get walking through a ladies underwear department, do all men feel this way? I guess subconsciously I’ll think back to the women I’ve undressed or watched undress, and yes like I said earlier while in Debenhams, I am amused watching women perusing selecting touching and holding towards bright fluorescent lights their soon to be purchased delicates! 

Anyways not to worry they both had a laugh at my expense, the mother seemed to think the mistaken identity absolutely hilarious? And I can imagine the daughter saying later “Do I look like I’m dressed as a shop worker for heaven’s sake?” But jeez you do have to be careful asking customers questions inside underwear departments, don’t you? Or are we men becoming slightly paranoid #MeToo fallout and all.

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Now I’m aware Superman wears his shorts on the outside but do women wear knickers on top of a pair of leggings? Or were they dressed by a guy 😀 !!

(I’ve thought about this seemingly inconsequential tale many times, a completely absurd scenario but what always confuses me is why this mother burst out into uncontrollable laughter? Perhaps I looked more startled than I ever assumed, or is the reason little more complicated than a ‘mummy bear looking out for her offspring bear cub? Funny old day.) 

©A. Shepherdson 2019 (with Googled photographs not my own)

 

 

 

 

‘That sacred spot of blissful heaven’ (Erotic Monday)

If you’ve happened to read yesterday’s post, you’ll know all the five days this week I am writing a tale flash fiction or whatever on the theme of women’s lingerie, don’t ask why perhaps I’m just odd that way……………….. incidentally the ‘publishing’ sequence has changed, or in other words that’s the story of my WordPress. 

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Laying beside Karolina two Saturdays ago I don’t think I’ve felt happier in a long while, my lady’s aged 50 and extremely passionate, an amusing conversationalist if a little hard to follow as she’s from Poland, but not to worry she’s an extremely sexy lady, in fact my idea of a dream woman, and I know having a lady stick her tongue deep inside your mouth while kissing sounds a little ahem icky! But it really is sensuous and divine.

So where are we two aged lovers to be found? Me a fifty something who wears glasses when having sex, also Karolina with her dodgy knee that locks up meaning she has to clamber off the bed to give creaking joints a stretch! No arthritis just ‘ole mother time’ creeping up and don’t you find older women are more grateful of a guys romantic advances, not desperate for attention, no just content to be loved for who they are, no spring chicken and all, oh and fucked hard by a guy who prefers his sexual animal to be a woman of more mature years.

Where are we? Inside a Travelodge Inn alongside a busy A34 dual carriageway, a bedroom to be more exact, I’d guess American’s would call this establishment a Motel for lonely individuals driving monotonous ashen gray motorways in need of a cheap place to sleep of a night.

Our room is in pitch darkness apart from a shaft of bright light shining from the wardrobe bathroom, the temperature’s boiling as Motels often are and Karolina’s laying on our bed gazing at the ceiling with me close by her side, so close I’m all but cuddling with my body touching hers from my chest to my toes, snuggled in tightly, my six inch hardened dick resting atop her thigh and bucking bouncing off her skin to the beat of a drum, physiologically connected to the blood pumping through my heart.

Yes I do love her, my arm resting on her tummy a hand slipped inside her burgundy panties, the same exact colour as a good claret of wine. I’m not looking at her lingerie briefs though with two digit fingers gently sliding back and forth through the parted lips of her wet kitty, sweeter than wine and bare of all pubic hair but for a small stubbly patch on her mons pubis, lol there’s a medical term you don’t hear often! 

So do I miss that teenage pubic bush weeded out over the ravages of time? They’re kinda fun to run finger’s through or admire in the shower, a mop of brunette coloured hair dripping and wet.

With my fingertips doing all the talking below, my gaze is drawn to Karolina’s chest raising with every breath sipped in, two high round breasts nestling beneath her claret shaded bra cups, with its swirling patterns of lace matching the panties and my busy fingers inside, but hold on subconsciously my sexually aroused mind has control of my fingers without me knowing, playing a fiddle all by their own now pressed against her clit and dragging her intimate skin in small circles, the curtains of her labia lips now drawn tightly closed.

Then faintly audible to my ear, hardly noticeable within our church hushed boudoir, I heard the quietist whisper you ever did hear, Karolina with her eyes tightly closed, purred a softly spoken,

“Oh My God!”

Do you know if I’d cleared my throat or been distracted by noise outside I would have missed it!

She quiet startled me actually though not a muscle in my body responded to Karolina’s almost joyous incredulity, with my imagination pricked alive I suddenly realised my circling fingertips had touched a spot so sacred, nerve endings so excited by pleasure giving chemicals flooding her brain, a cocktail altering her mind, that for those few two seconds in time Karolina had been whisked to a blissful heaven itself.

(……………. and tomorrow, “Holy crap I’m on the bra and knickers Floor!”)

©A. Shepherdson 2019

 

So MOMS do you consider yourself MILF?

A fun mild adult post with themes prompted by the current heatwave sweeping the UK, turns out my suggestion has come true, middle aged women in my home City have thrown caution to the wind and ditched their bras and I’m not being sexist remember, the older woman has found enough inner confidence to go braless and I’m NOT complaining.

Link to An open apology to women not wearing bras.

Perhaps I ought to say if you’re an adult who doesn’t understand what MILF stands for…….……… then lol perhaps this isn’t the post for you.

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Anne Bancroft in The Graduate

When I sat down to write this post I thought to myself I so SO hope a few Moms are reading, now I understand ladies you are never going to comment and reply but lol I’ll ask anyway, if you are a woman of more mature years reading this post, I’m curious to know have you ever stopped and asked yourself am I a ‘MILF?’

Mom I’d Like to F#ck?

But hold on before disappearing rather disgusted by my all to personal question, I’ll have you know MILF is an affectionate phrase because we men all love sexy older women……….. nothing wrong in admitting human beings are sexual mammals. AND hold on before answering because this anacronym is applied to a very particular type of older woman, she has to be sexually attractive to young men 17-21yrs! And I’d go as far as to say most teenage boys will have had a crush on a friend’s Mom or School teacher at some point, a childhood fantasy and nothing else.

I know I did, age 14 my first love was Miss Aspley my massively boobed Physics School Teacher! A lovely woman and :/ the sobering thought is she’s probably no longer with us time moving on and all, but jeeze they must have been Double D’s at least!

Anyways that’s quite enough of talk of boobs or you’ll be giving me a #METOO tongue lashing 😀 .

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Dustin Hoffmann’s iconic line, “are you trying to seduce me Mrs Robinson?”

So what prompted this silly post rather than part 2 of my London daytrip? Well the reason quite simply is the post isn’t ready (needs polishing) but not to worry………. hmm I’ll publish it this Friday.

Streaming into my computer the other night courtesy of amazon prime I watched ‘The Graduate’ a movie I haven’t seen in years, actually I’d quite forgotten how great it is, no not great ‘The Graduate’ is a cinematic classic and I really enjoyed myself. I’ll spare you my own film review because you’ll all know the story of an older woman seducing a college graduate and if you have yet to watch then I heartedly urge you to, the screenplay is crisply paced, Simon and Garfunkel’s music fits beautifully and afterward I thought to myself’ I don’t think Dustin Hofmann has ever bettered his screen performance as Benjamin Braddock a very shy innocent young virgin!

And of course as all good films usually are, The Graduate is based on a novel by the same name, funny how great movie screenplays are inspired by great novels, all the special effects in the world can’t save a movie if the storyline is crap!!

At this point I’m wishing my readers are screaming “SAY SOMETHING ABOUT ANNE BANKCROFT FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE!” And yes Anne Bancroft is utterly devine, her portrayal as sexy seductress Mrs Robinson is truly iconic, perhaps unusual for its time an older woman seducing a college boy rather than the roles being reversed and I’d say Anne will forever be the poster lady for the anachronym MILF………….. the personification of older woman sexiness and sensuality, because what Anne lacks in youth she more than makes up for with her skills of seduction, hmm would the movie get made today with thoughts of creepy Weinstein and the like? I’d hope so because she doesn’t rape him.

So returning to my post’s premise MILF is far from being a disgusting term (here in the UK anyway) in conversation we men will endearingly use the phrase to describe a sexy older woman, a confident woman of such experience and aged eroticism that she’ll appeal to older teenagers! Hmm I wonder if the older woman wishes this could happen to them in real life?

So any Moms/Mums reading, do you consider yourself MILF? (I’d 😀 guess no one answers.)

A. Shepherdson 2018

Beautiful Helen……. pt2 (erotica)

Continued from Helen part one click ‘pingback here’ and 2 days later here’s the ending, also mild adult fiction.

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Quick as a flash, I turned and near ran through my living room door………. 

………………… pulling the front door shut behind me! Helen had disappeared from clipping her pink roses hadn’t she, vanished into thin air?

I paused in my driveway my breathing beginning to steady as a spinning brain caught up after a very surreal last half an hour. One minute I’d been jerking myself off watching my gardening neighbour’s jiggling boobs within her yellow blouse, the next Helen over the road lifted the cotton top, showing me her pert round breasts and on reflection I’d say they’re a B cup!

Anyways now I’m perspiring searching for Helen who, if you read part 1, had incredibly beckoned me over to her home!

A thought crossed my mind, ‘the minx was playing games, she’d caught me watching her garden and teasingly flashed her tits’, oh ‘blank’ my heart sank! Helen’s getting her own back, leading me on with intentions of………. ?

A feeling of disappointment seeped into my mind, no more a worrisome thought, perhaps she’d cleared off to tell her husband I’m a Peeping Tom! ‘Oh God No’ as I quite involuntary felt an ache in my stomach, then my mature wet dream with a smiling face appeared from behind the corner of her house.

Waving her arms vigorously, Helen beckoned me a second time calling out,

“Andrew!……………….. Andrew, hurry up man” taking a sideways glance up the road she turned and continues,

“Hurry up, we haven’t much time!” All the while her arm waving me over and quite vigorous it was to, yummy mummy Helen really DID want me OVER!

Hurriedly stepping off the pavement I ran across the road remembering to glance both directions,

“Jeeze I don’t want to be hit by a car not now of all days”, I muttered.

My mind now trying to comprehend what an earth was happening in my life, at the same time a beating heart pounding within my chest blood pumping into my brain giving a numbed headache, a sexually excited thought consumed me as I jogged toward her garage and down a tiled path toward an alleyway leading to her rear garden, ‘doe’s she want my hard dick I wonder?’

From gazing out my window to jogging this claustrophobic pathway is but a minute yet felt like a lifetime, I mused “Hell’s fire, is this crazy woman tripping on drugs?” 

No sooner had I finished saying what could be my final sentence here on earth, my pace slowing to a briskness as I walked from the shadowed confines of a tight walled alley into the glaring sun of a VERY surreal late afternoon!

I stopped, soon followed by a near heart attack that could have taken my final breath as Helen jumped out from behind the house, flinging her arms around my shoulders she drew me closer as her back hit the wall and rather too hard to be comfortable.

Helen’s arms encircling my shoulders, my face but inches away from hers I felt warm breath against my mouth, and pulling me yet tighter into her body my two hands moved aside her hips as curling fingers held Helen’s waist. So close now our bodies touching from chest to thighs I felt her warmth through thin cotton fabric, her bosom rising with every intake of excited breath, my bulging groin now pressing deep into Helen’s crotch, and so large was my thickened dick it felt uncomfortable to move.

We kissed, passionately two adulterous lover’s wet lips parted open, the tips of our tongues touching entwined and dancing, my eyes wide open, Helen’s closed as her head moved from one side to the other her gorging lips devouring mine. For several minutes we deep throat kissed until finally one of us said something breaking a pre coitus silence.

Pulling her face from mine, Helen quite out of breath said,

“Andrew we haven’t much time”, smiling so sweetly her lips pecked me on mine and my heart began to sing, now my frenzied brain had finally caught up with the past 5 minutes near dreamlike incredulity. ‘Oh yes I’m quite alive’ I mused while standing in Helen’s rear garden pressing her against the wall kissing cuddling and for this brief moment her soft wet lips showed all I ever needed to know, ‘Helen wanted me, needed me, loved me!’

“My husband’s buying paint at the DIY store” she smiled a wanting fire lit in her eyes, “there’s no time to f### right now”, that was a shock and a half I can tell you……. ‘WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT SEX?’ “But I will jerk you off this time” she continued with a grin “I could see you staring at me and wanking, you dirty devil Andrew!”

Pausing blushing and smiling at my adulterous siren, Helen went further, “I was watching your right arm jerking, tell me did you come?”

“NO, and stopping near killed me Helen!”

Me open mouthed, a look of shock across my face, I just about got a questioning “you mean my curtain’s are actually see through?” 

Then at the very point of Helen answering, my torso pulled back, the palm of my open right hand thrust into her crotch groping and squeezing her intimacy, my fingers prising her thighs apart as they curled underneath her fanny bridge, warm soft no doubt twitching and ready.

Helen gasped whatever she was about to answer unable to come from her mouth.

I squeezed her crotch tighter cupping my palm ever wider, the other hand now tugging at the button of her jeans a sexual excitement overtaking any lingering inhibitions. My imagination had long ago dissipated now replaced by a carnal primeval lust, the only thought ‘my fingers are going between her pussy lips whether she stops me or not!’

(Remember 🙂 this is a tall tale)

My fumbling fingers having unbutton her jean’s 28″ waist I pulled down the cold metal zipper, excitedly tugging at the raw cotton sliding down her shapely thighs, bending my knees as I crouched. Standing again my left arm reached around Helen’s hip an open hand squeezing a buttock feeling it’s roundness beneath soft cotton panties. As my right hand felt her ass, fingers of my other hand fumbled again into Helen’s crotch as I pulled her pantie gusset to one side, wriggling dexterous fingers in between parted folds of moist labia, all the while our faces but inch’s apart staring into each others eyes and both breathing ever deeper.

She smiled again, whimpering panting then catching a breath again as my dancing fingers touched a sacred pleasure spot, and after what seemed an age of fingering Helen’s dripping wet treasure, she worriedly repeated her stark warning,

“Paul won’t be long, we’ll f### another day Andrew” betraying a sadness in her eyes, she continued “you feel so big and thick against me, I’ll take you inside I promise”, then glancing down at her wrist watch and looking terrified, she said,

“Omg he’ll return in minutes, you have to go! NOW!” Such a crying shame I mused with my hand deep under Helen’s crotch and fingers searching for god knows what inside her warm pussy?

The excitement all tooo much for me, remember I was at a point of climax but ten minutes ago, I felt my ball’s rising as their storks shortened, my throbbing penis bucking as gorgeous sensations excited the nerve endings around the rim of my ‘bellend’, “I can’t hold back any longer” I whispered, panicking thoughts of ‘this passion’s all to much for me’ flooding my mind numbed drugged and slightly euphoric.

My eyes losing contact with hers, my head jerked back as I ejaculated thick creamy semen into my boxer shorts, warm and sticking to my thigh, an audible “I’m coming” gasping through open lips as I released, and God how I kept releasing!

The End.

(All very tame content with zero sex, oh and BTW my last erotic sexy tale for a while 😉 )

©A. Shepherdson 2018

 

 

The Stalking challenge (for blogger Ray)

This WordPress ‘Blogging Thoughts Photos & Life’ has been tagged awarded challenged several times by lovely bloggers, I always accept the challenge but don’t quite play by the game’s rules (lol just call me awkward 😀 ) then again I doubt anyone minds..………… HOWEVER the challenge always gives me a themed idea for a Post………… (btw note this one’s mild age appropriate adult).

Oh and stalking is a hot story in the UK at present several female TV personalities have Court injunctions placed on creepy men who have been following annoying harassing them, though they can do very little apart from hope these pests quit their nastiness bullying and psychological torture.

Ray challenged me a stalking tale so here goes, was I wrong to follow the lady wearing a short mini dress into the Department Store? I know you said 13 sentences but I’m afraid I write as I think hence 1600 words never mind thanks ❤ for the Challenge! 🙂

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Yes I hoped but what did I see? 😀

Let me explain, one summer’s day a good while ago and being as I was at a loose end, I’d decided to travel into ‘blank’ by bus for no other reason than I needed to buy clothes and I’d been putting it off because I hate clothes shopping! So having boarded and now seated comfortably I glanced around the top deck wondering who I’d be travelling with today, and who do I see but a lovely a young woman across the aisle wearing a horizontally striped white and powder blue dress. Such a beautiful picture this slim demure creature perched on the end of her seat, blonde hair pulled back into a cute girly pony tale and she had a pretty face in side-on profile. (Note age appropriate!)

But hold on her gorgeousness didn’t end there and I can tell you this made my growing hardness tingle and twitch warm waves of pleasure spreading around my groin, oh yes I could see the hem of her dress rested well up her thigh, well being more truthful not that far below her knicker gusset though sat a seat behind I’d 😦 never see, yum quite the vision of femininity and sexiness though, good luck to her you’re only ever young once so flaunt it babe!

The only problem is bus travel is SO frigging boring consequently my mind wanders and imagination overpowers all (well nearly) thoughts of appropriate behaviour, idle day dreaming when excited can lead you places you shouldn’t go?

Well I mused she’s on her own and single, obviously travelling into Oxford to look at fashions buy clothes and a day of retail therapy………… and how do I know this? I don’t but by the way she kept opening a well known Department Store carrier bag and removing garments, carefully unfolding and examining, then even MORE carefully folding away again I could see they were still tagged brand new!

And me being the intelligent guy and people watcher that I am, her concentration and thoughtful expression told me these garments were returning to the Store! Hmm I’d guess to be refunded, well it lol happens and why else take tagged clothes INTO a store? Ladies do it all the time, buy a bra take it home try on and omg that bright purple is visible through your favourite virgin white cotton blouse……. and you think ‘damn it’s going back!’

I watched the young lady go through this careful ritual several times, she was neither sure or happy as women often aren’t when choosing clothes, and of course I’m furtively gazing at her milky white thigh and exquisite leg line, lovely long legs gave away she was a tall lady which is important to my tale THEN watching her indecisive mind in action a vision flashed across my visual imagination like a white hot bolt of lightening! ‘Omg’ I thought to myself, ‘when you enter that Store miss, the near auditorium vast space welcomes you with three long escalators……. one coming down two rising upwards deep into this vast retail cathedral!

Have you guessed this tale has potential stalker written all over? 

I squirmed and wriggled in my seat becoming increasingly excited, warm blood began to turn my cheeks red, adrenalin increasing my heart rate the faster pumping blood engorging my dick my hardness uncomfortably and beginning to throb! The bus now turning into George Street I thought ‘Holy s#it, the second stop is a minute from the Store I bet this young lady will alight here and make straight for the escalators!’

Fast pumping torrents of blood now beginning to make my head hurt and heart race, I thought ‘this tall gazelle like creature will travel the escalator’, …… further she’s wearing a micro dress and I’LL finally discover the answer to a thought that’s consumed my mind ever since first seeing her milky white skinned thighs, ‘Follow her, then you’ll see what colour panties she’s wearing!’

‘Hold on’ I thought to myself, ‘there’s CCTV, she may look around, there’d be a scene, I’d be arrested!’ But sometimes in life you have to take a risk, opportunities like this don’t come along twice, and rather than pausing to take breath and noting following women is illegal, before you know it a sexual desire overpowers sound moral judgement and you’re err being inappropriate!

The bus jolts to a halt waking me from a whether to or not to conundrum, the gorgeous young lady rises from her seat as I instinctively near jump from mine, speedily so as to stop any other postential stalkers from stepping between me and my prey…….. well hold on prey’s the wrong word lol I’m only following her for frigging sake! What happens as consequence is mere coincidence 😀 .

She steps off the bus and turns right, I quickly follow but three paces behind watching her blonde pony tale swing and bounce with every stride her long legs could muster, her soft cotton dress flutter in the breeze a young woman on a mission she was, no doubt one retail thought on her mind oblivious to the stalker closely behind.

Thirty seconds later she turns left, electric doors opening a vacuum near sucking us in from the Street, four paces later she steps onto the travelling stairway, then four steps again I follow her tall slim body rising upward from my eyeline, my gaze being drawn down her body as first her blonde pony was lost from view, soon followed by her exquisite narrow neckline with the word Rebecca tattooed across in bold thin blue text!

(Hmm very strange, either she’s a lesbian or stupid enough she can’t remember her name?)

My heart now pumping so fast I feared my head would explode the additional blood engorging my hardness to such a size as I’d seldom felt before, with my eyeline now rested on her pert bottom having passed the profile of bra straps and tiny waist, and because our slow moving stairway to heaven was set at such a steep incline her micro dress hem came into full view (briefly because virtually none existed) with my eyes now following an exquisite sexy leg line of fit shapely thighs and tone calves until I to was standing as still as you possibly can with someone on a travelling escalator and could see no lower.

Nervously my gaze began to follow her leg line upward this time, noticing her feet standing 10″ apart a carrier bag with clothes resting one her left thigh just within the periphery of my vision, my eyes final reach her stripy dress and with one final upwards glance the answer to the one thought obsessing my imagination ALL morning came into view!

Holy f#ck blonde leggy pretty ponytail wasn’t wearing underwear!

That was a shock and a half I can tell you, I’d been consumed with questions of what colour panties? Would they be French knickers, briefs, thong or yuck ‘shorties’ or even boyfriends boxer shorts now there’s a worry! But no doubt looking gobsmacked and stunned what do I see between slightly parted milky white thighs but the heavenly vision of the entry to a female’s reproductive system, her vulva and intimacy a shade of delicate shocking pink set against the visible white skin we stalkers and public only ever see.

With time running out, my eyes savoured every last contour of her vagina bridge the windows to my soul could save to memory, two plump folds of outer labia concealing a cave of gold jewels and pleasures within, and no I didn’t notice any beads of moisture secreted through her slit, no she wasn’t wet which must be a worry when you ladies leave home absent of underwear! What do you do if you get excited and ‘moisten’ when a shirtless stunning builder captures your view? Hmm now there’s a thought Ray!

But oh no, her thighs became darker as my eyes refocused to a contrast caused by blinding white light emanating from the Cosmetic’s floor level and now all tooo quickly coming into view. With one final gaze at this pretty lady’s most secret body part, me leaning slightly forward, taking an even larger risk and momentarily bending my knees permitted me to see the beginning to two pert round firm buttocks and an ass crack disappearing beneath stripy soft cotton fabric.

Then with one final final concentrated gaze recording this erotic heavenly image to my visible memory for all eternity, with one final gaze this age 18+ young lady stepped from the escalator no doubt making for ‘refunds and exchanges’, and yes seemingly oblivious to this opportunist stalker behind………… never knowing one other person know she’s daring enough to go without.

Feeling rather weak at the knees I to stepped from that slowly moving stairway though very quickly walking in a totally different direction, in truth heading for an exit which would take me away from this Store as quickly as possible! …………. But omg I grinned to myself, never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined she’d be wearing no panties AND better still her pussy was either shaved or waxed of all hair………… lol well who’d have guessed.

A. Shepherdson 2018

(Now accept this tale anyway you wish, parts could be true, hell the whole story could be true as written, OR my sexy escapade could be dreamt from an over active imagination…………. lol you decide for I’m afraid you’ll never ever know!)

Erotica – bucket lists

PLEASE don’t ever take this post tooo seriously, strictly just for fun.

My WordPress has been rather tooo sensible up to now, and I’ve drunk tooo much coffee tonight, jeeze I’m wired and jumpy as hell, so time me thinks for a candid honest and light hearted sx filled post.

4fdfa67426cc217e75b2b74ddcf83688I’m not a guy who’s turned on by pornography, in truth it bores me rigid, but yes I’m the first to admit Lust is my deadliest sin, I’m not a perv mind. it’s only I do enjoy observing the fair sx note age18+.

 

Every workday morning I arrive at the bus stop invariably to the rear of a certain young lady (at a safe distance note, age19) gorgeous she is, and a-typical bookworm in the purest sense of the word…… read on!

I’m a people watcher in the nicest sense of the word, aren’t we all? 

From the second I first see this bus stop girl to the second she disappears out of view, with head held high, the graceful stride of a female gazelle, she gazes into an open book held but 10 inches from her face. The young lady never stops reading books, an unusual vision to behold, incredible in all my years I’ve never witnessed the like of her before. Jeeze just think of all those wonderful tales and storylines her mind has gorged on, hmm are they romance and sx? If passion and intimacy is her favoured genre then she must be the horniest of ladies, hmm she looks a horny filthy lady, anyways I’m getting off the point.

Is there a point? 

More often than I end up behind the young lady, and unless you travel by bus you’ll not understand that where people position themselves around a bus stop is a science, there’s a lot of social etiquette here. It’s a painfully tedious picture to paint so I won’t!

And yes we do pass the time of day, pleasantries have you will, the weather and other such niceties and all those stories you’ve heard that Brits love talking about the weather, lol absolutely true! 

However.

I can’t help feeling in situations like these, if say an older guy tries to be tooo friendly with a slip of a lady how does he come across, over friendly? Trying to pull? Pervy? If he does then that’s all a little sad then again perhaps that’s why I’m single, you have to chat to these unfathomable creatures that confuse me so.

However yuck she does smoke roll your ciggy’s though, a disgusting habit, and apologies if I’ve mentioned this beauty once before but I write as I think with no idea where a post will take me! (Remember all trace of my previous blog got deleted, lol don’t care if you don’t believe me anyway 😛 )

This lady with the blackest of jet black shoulder length hair is not stunningly beautiful to look at then again I’m no frigging oil painting myself, but what she lacks in beauty she makes up for in sweetness and her slender size 8 figure, a definite size 8 body going by our size obsessed media. Absolutely stunning she is, slim, perfectly proportioned and joy of joys she wears tight body hugging leggings, black and stretchy they are revealing EVERY trim contour, and this slip of a goddess has the most perfect leg line you could EVER wish to see, all leading to a pert bottom with plump ass cheeks that resemble an ‘err’ a peach! That most sweet and succulent of soft fruits.

Yes I’ll stand behind her and gaze down at her peachy ass, no doubt to a casual bystander I’ve the look of wonderment written across my face, I’m not odd but the jury’s out, I just adore femininity whatever age or size as long as they’re age appropriate of course. The only trouble is by the time I’m seated (I sit upstairs so I can look down ladies blouses as the get aboard, she sits on the lower deck) and as my ass hits the seat my dick is bucking and twitching inside my boxer shorts.

(Btw if a guy has the opportunity he will ALWAYS take a sideways glance down an unbuttoned blouse or plunging neckline………… we won’t admit but we all do!

And better still she wears a complete absence of visible panty lines, so as I gaze transfixed at her ass crack I cannot help wondering if she wears a thong or no knickers, do good girls ever go commando? Either way such a sensually erotic young lady 😛

I should point out at this conjuncture, with #MeToo firmly in mind I realise yes I’m objectifying the female form here, though I’m of the opinion a guy can observe (and write nonsense such as this) however he must never put his hand inside the sweetie jar.

Look but never ever touch!

Later come summertime when temperatures rise, she’ll be returning to her closet draw for those tight white tee shirts once again, (I’ll chat about her boobs another day lol), then by the time I reach my seat I’ll either pass out or c’max in my boxers! Holy ##ck, gorgeous fit women are getting tooo much for my broken heart, I fear the local News will run a story one morning, where a middle age man was found dead on the bus!

(Btw I’ve a serious far from flippant post themed #MeToo following sooon, it’s in my drafts. Does anyone read my WordPress or is this a platform, a tool to link prose to Twitter and Facebook? Hmm interesting.)

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