Selling your body for money

So what to make of today’s Title? To begin with 4 of my past 5 postings have all been corona virus themed, I’ve enjoyed the creative writing process however 4 is quite enough for the present. Not to worry, I’ve revisited my draft postings and blown the dust off this masterpiece languishing unloved and unpublished! It’s politically incorrect (if not darned right illegal) and morally questionable, out of synque with present day social distancing regulations (a frigging understatement if there ever was one!) but I’ve decided to publish (yeh Andrew keep calling yourself a writer) and be damned….  now I’ll quit apologising and allow you to decide if selling your ass for money could ever be considered acceptable.

We’re all prostitutes of a sort, we can all be bought if the price is high enough, can’t we?

Note this posting isn’t a movie review however it is an Indecent Proposal!

**********************************************

l;jhI’m going to pose a rather delicate question, however hold on before scrolling down to take a peek.

Do you remember the motion picture ‘Indecent Proposal’ starring the fabulous Woody Harlesden, sexy Demi Moore and screen icon Robert Redford. The premise of the film is Woody and Demi, a young beautiful hipster couple are truly madly deeply in love, besotted with each other, just understand if you’ve never watched the film, the movie’s narrative never stops reminding you Woody and Demi have discovered their soul mates…… yes each other.

Forgot to mention they’re newly married.

Now for the plot twist, into this highly watchable tale appears the cool and charismatic Robert Redford, still to this day one of the most beautiful of men to have starred on the silver screen. Well to cut a long story short (and I ain’t gonna worry about giving away spoilers, Indecent Proposal was released in 1993 for heavens sake!) Robert Redford falls for Demi’s character and why an earth wouldn’t he, a combination of both carnal lust and a long distant memory of a similar lady he once loved, Redford offers the two lovers an indecent proposal of one million dollars for ONE night in bed with Demi……. do I really have to detail the sex scene in their Hotel room? No lol.

Ok Redford #@&^%$ Demi and they fell in love……. why wouldn’t she? And how dumb was Woody?

So now I pose the question, and just be aware I’m pathologically obsessed with this moral dilemma, wouldn’t you agree everyone has a monetary price for a night’s passion with their partner? Don’t they? Many couples allow their partner a gimme’, you know a sexy movie actor/actress they’d begrudgingly happily allow them to sleep with, an amusing hypothetical game which will never be tested in Court.

But returning to my indecent proposal, can you envisage a price for a night’s passion with your partner? If the relationship is on the cusp of divorce then the answer’s easy, take the money, divide two ways and run, however if you’re deeply in love with your betrothed possibly sharing children, would you say “no sum is large enough”, or would you sell a night’s passion with your wife or husband if only for a new house car and spending money!

Like I said this conundrum often crosses my mind when say sitting in a train station’s waiting room, two lovers walk past holding hands wander past and I muse ‘would they?’…………… Well you’ve got to keep an imagination busy when bored out your brains!

Now for a (really) Indecent Proposal.

Ok let’s take my narrative one step further, in a creepier weirdo direction. Remember my previous post Yoga Pants (true) story, imagine yourself  for a second walking a path dividing a grassy green common alone, oh and you’re a WOMAN! When all of a sudden a rather well dressed guy appears beside you, the pair of you began chatting about the nice weather you’ve been enjoying or the like, you trust any motives, the banter’s friendly making you feel comfortable and at ease, then the pervert rascal asks you “how much money to squeeze your ass cheeks Miss?”

Holy crap what do you say?

Bearing in mind your two hands are laden down by grocery carrier bags meaning you cannot smack him round the cheeks, you know, drop the bags smashing the eggs and jam jars. Well after the initial shock passes and you didn’t feel particularly threatened (ok just run with my creepy proposal… and I know you’re unconvinced), the friendly conversation continues if a little nervously, that’s until he offers you that indecent proposal!

(The woman is offered £20)…….. “you can #%& off!”

£30 ………..‘where’s a policeman when I need one’

£40 ………. ‘is he for real?’

£50 ………. ‘I think he’s for real’

£60 ……….‘well the daughter does need new shoes’

£70 ………. ‘ok I’m interested’………. ‘but how much higher will he go?’

£80 ……….‘I can’t believe I’m tempted’

£90 ……….‘omg the wallet’s out of his pocket!’

£100!…………

Would you glance around to see if anyone’s watching, swiftly accept the money and whisper,

“Go on… get behind me…. you can squeeze my ass cheeks…… but nothing more mind!!”

Lol where’s the problem? Who’s to know? And by this point you’ll have guessed I’m convinced every woman will prostitute herself agree to be propositioned if the amount is large enough…….. and before you say,

“No guy would pay £100 to touch my ass”,

You’d be surprised, male fantasies and fetishes have no limits, trust me there are men who’d pay for the thrill of squeezing a married woman’s buttocks, sleep with her for £1000s even but I’m not going there, sexual prostitution’s a whole different Posting!

😀 A. Shepherdson 2020 

Dating a WordPress blogger

62fe14fb3d9153d58332424955ba7941
‘Brief Encounter’ – please note this ISN’T a post about movies

Btw a true story……..

Without wishing to repeat myself, but I’m going to anyway, I did indeed date a lady blogger I first met on the internet, we’ll name Maria shall we? Yes I met her on the internet and Maria befits a lady of around age 50, well I’m not gonna call her Rhiannon am I?

Funny how people’s names follow generational trends.

I digress. Let’s be more specific shall we, Maria blogged on WordPress as did I, not this blog, no my first had to be hastily deleted because this irate woman tracked me down, I knew her and it’s a longgggg story!

I’m possibly unique amongst internet daters, probably unusual in that I’ve featured on various platform genres, a traditional designed and specifically catering for middle aged lonely hearts, another with let’s less loftier ideals, commitment free, morally questionable, not so much a dating app as a meeting for drinks and probably hopefully for sex…… btw we’re not talking Tinder!

Though I’d love to.

So how did our WordPress relationship begin? I first commented a post written by Maria several years ago, I’d never set eyes on her before and meeting her in the flesh for real was the last thought on my/our minds, but life has a funny way of taking you in directions you’d never envisaged.

My advice to youngsters, learn to be flexible, the life you hoped for at sixteen probably wont play out as you expected.

My blogging adventure first began purely for reading pleasure, captivated by a genre known as sex blogs, middle aged women writing of extramarital affairs, exciting tales of gang gangs and hot steamy sex, thrilling passionate romance and looking back who knows if their tales were true?……. Fabulous reads leaving only one question, how does a guy’s penis remain hard for hours upon end?

I’m gonna go off message again ‘for a mo’, because I have trouble staying ‘hard’ for any longer than ten minutes, a lady and I will strip naked, we’ll kiss and cuddle, excitement builds, breath quickens as engorged blood flows, we’ll lay upon the bed, I’ll slip inside and however hard I try to delay ejaculation…… five minutes later and I’m spent! One time I excited myself tooo such an extent massaging my partner’s naked back, oiled palms pressing into warm skin, smoothing strokes the length of her spine, her face turned to one side serene relaxed and content, then came my turn for some sexy fun, my lady lowered her mouth over my purple bellend, drew me across her tongue before seconds later creamy semen burst inside her mouth…… do I suffer from premature ejaculation or hyper excitement?

“Sophie… I’m sorry” I sheepishly apologised!

“It happens” she glumly replied, cum dripping from her pretty lips.

Where was I? Oh yes Maria the WordPress blogger! Soon after reading her postings, or perhaps I’d just started my own I cannot remember, as happens we kinda made a connection here on WordPress, over time we became blog pals, our comment chat became longer, evermore personal in nature for I am a friendly personable guy. I guess a trust blossomed over the coming months, singular replies became commentary threads, neither had alteria motives, neither expected or wished for any more than friendly evening conversation, but as you do, we shared thoughts honesty and experiences I certainly hadn’t admitted to other women and certainly not on the internet!….. and cutting a long story short, hilarity fun and truthfulness ensued.

Maria wasn’t so much a sex blogger she posted photos of her voluptuous large round breasts, nipples pieced with hoops of gold, ass cheeks, tasteful naked body shots but never showing her face… nope if I ever walked past Maria in the street, I wouldn’t have battered an eye and nor she. Her blog was far from slutty though, a warm caring personality flowed from her text, I was smitten by this happy go lucky rather sweet natured middle aged lady, if a little overweight but then again I’m no hunk!

Well several enjoyable flirty months passed, I posted photos of myself lying naked on my bed (never done that before or since) and God knows nudity was my last intention when I first started….. though ours was all good clean adult fun. Three or four months passed happily then we exchanged email addresses and moved to private correspondence, btw never again, take it from me email romantic relationships (I’ve had four) can only go so far before they become……

Well the day came when we first exchanged photos, finally positioning a face alongside months of reading text anecdotes and stories, and I for one was pleasantly surprised, I’m gonna say little else than Maria possessed a cheery smile sparkly eyes and a pretty face befitting a woman her age…… oh and laying on a bed, legs slightly parted revealing a hint of her pussy! Shaven it was! 

Like I said we were blog pals.

We’ll leave Maria’s appearance there shall we, ‘walls have ears’, I trusted her photos implicitly, I had no doubt whatsoever Maria was sharing genuine recent photos of herself and I cannot stress that enough. I trusted her photos her honesty, and I had no doubt whatsoever if we met in person we’d instantly recognise the other.

No question.

Speaking from ‘not so bitter’ experience, photos are the dating deal breaker, when chatting with a woman online only one question nags at the imagination, a little voice reaffirming my mistrust of liars, wary the person I am chatting to isn’t the person in the photograph, but as transpired Maria was the lady in her photo.

…….. to be continued.

(I’ll leave you with one taster, yes we met in person and now to the $64,000 question, ‘did we enjoy our date?’ Yes.)

A. Shepherdson 2020

 

My Year in Blogging..… with a little life and sex thrown in for good measure

A post inspired by a favourite female blogger (or in other words I copied her idea?)

Wow another year blogging and all with 82 posts written, which was a genuine surprise seeing as I was absent for three months this summer, then again I’ve always written in fits and starts, when the urge takes me, but that’s ok because the best piece of blogging advice I’ve ever been given is, be honest to yourself also enjoy the process, and I’ve been at times recklessly honest but that’s been half the fun!

I put my lost writing mojo towards the back end of 2019 down to Brexit, there’s no coincidence my period away could be mirrored to depression and the current shambolic state of British politics….. in truth I’ve fallen out of love with this my country which is a crying shame.

Enough of politics for this is a politics free blog.

Now for WordPress popularity statistics that are so important to some, me included and I’d be lying if I said Comments don’t matter, I’d love more but that’s ok we all find an audience… oh and I will admit to being a bit of a like whore!

Views 5,032
Visitors 2,969
Likes 1,152
Comments 702

A great deal less numbers than some but I’m more than happy…….. also this year I’ve been singularly viewed in Ghana Rwanda also Namibia, yes someone living in Africa has read a post and that blows my mind, hmm I wonder which one?

Well judging by my top 5 viewed posts, I’d guess said tale would have been sex related, such is the adult blogging tentacle outreach across our cyber globe……….. oh and I’ll forever wonder if I have a real life lurker reading from within the shadows?

Top 5 countries viewed from:

  1. United States🇺🇲
  2. United Kingdom🇬🇧
  3. India🇮🇳 (that’s not quite the surprise you’d first assume)
  4. Canada🇨🇦
  5. Germany🇩🇪

Top 5 posts of 2019:

  1. A woman’s cleavage (a cautionary tale)
  2. Missionary (& NSFW)
  3. An open apology to women not wearing bras
  4. Enjoying ASS play! Might I be Gay?
  5. ‘Fun facts’ about the human female vagina

Yes all sex related, in fact all my top ten are true tales of love and sex.

So begs the question, what happened to my series themed Trellick Towers? Or the social comment that is Sandro’s café? Or my day trip to atmospheric Highgate cemetery London? I guess the old adage ‘sex sell’s’ applies 😄

Sooo many questions!

Early January began with visiting my father in hospital, and many times again after he later moved in to a nursing home, a sorrow filled tale ending with his passing in April, and as many of you will understand the sadness and emotional turmoil death of a parent is life at it’s most brutal. I’ve admitted here before we weren’t very close, but I loved him and he loved me and I’m happy knowing we enjoyed each other’s company full of its ups and downs, I have no real regrets which I will forever be grateful for. Weeks before his death I remember the sudden urge I felt 11 o clock one evening, urgently rushing by bus to be at his bedside after for some unknown reason thinking that he’d pass away that same evening, lol I shan’t repeat his answer on seeing me, but it made both me and the Ward Sister laugh.

In the words of Monty Python ‘now for something completely different’, anecdotes ‘hot’ off the press from my all tooo active imagination.

hghh
Yes I’ll admit to click baiting, though the room’s decor does look familiar

This past year I’ve slept with 5 different women, not their real names but there’s Sarah, Shannon, Diana, Nikola and Sara, yes loving Sara a favourite lady of mine for oh so many reasons. I agree these are details deemed rather distasteful to share, but what the hell🤫 where’s the fun in not telling?

Truthfully I cannot remember where and when I discovered this what shall remain nameless website, but if you’re  at all interested, chatting to a woman you’ve never met before on a legally regulated web chatroom for consenting adults is thrilling. Likewise arranging to meet her in some cheap Oxford motel is exhilarating, and if truth be told meeting these women is a military campaign in itself, there’s mobile phone exchanges taken from bleak hotel carparks, me dodging security at the revolving doors, a firtive skirting of reception desks without being called over and asked,

“Where do you think you are going Sir?”

Then there’s locating the actual hotel room after being texted the number, the nerve tingling moment she first opens the room door, the first time either of us see if our photos resemble those on said chatroom, and I haven’t been disappointed yet. Apart from 55year old Cara back in 2018 who omitted to admit she had a dodgy knee which meant during sex, after a vigorous bed bouncing cowgirl, she had to step off the bed to click her knee back into position.

Frigging hilarious!

Happy afternoons I sometimes think I live for, though perhaps emotionally unhealthy experiences and yet filled with such warmth fun and laughter, yes I agree to a lacking real love ….. then again what is real love? 

After all said and done, there’s a wicked thrill to internet sex, a day full of unknown possibilities, thrills and excitement ‘pricking’ every sense of my body into life……….. and great sex, naked body’s entwined, caressing and squeezing tits, sucking on dry nipples and joy of joys feasting between her wide open thighs, lapping at baby soft skinned folds of succulent labia, the tip of my tongue searching for her elusive clitoris…… and yes I do love giving oral sex. 

So what joy and horrors will 2020 bring? Well glancing at the clock on my laptop today is january 1st, and you know what that means, my obituary will never read ‘died in 2019!’

A. Shepherdson 2020

On the 87th day God created cleavage

I must admit I’ve been in two minds whether to publish yet another boob tale (said that before!) Blogger Lesley kluchin won’t be impressed and I don’t blame her, of all the lovely readers to reply Lesley isn’t adverse to giving Andrew’s virtual ass a written spanking, several occasions tooo, I love them!! I fear my sexist tales understandably challenge the lady’s mommy sensibilities also school teaching values and quite right tooo……… Still, Lesley’s a good looking woman for her age, just shows a woman can still be sexually appealing at age70😘 . (Btw she wasn’t offended when I wrote that because I’m a nice guy.)

Ok I’ve a breast obsession! I adore sucking caressing licking and gazing in wonderment, what more can I say? 😀

872850497
Ladies be watchful of peering eyes looking down from on high

Seems an age since I’ve affectionately ‘objectified’ a woman’s body on this WordPress.

Omg summer’s finally arrived with a vengeance and Oxford city is crowded with (age appropriate) young ladies wearing fewer than usual, there’ll be micro cotton dresses revealing milk white thighs, hem lines sooo short that on a guy’s lucky day he’ll glimpse ‘cushions’ of knicker gusset captured in the breeze, and just imagine but for this soft delicate fabric I might see kitty lips moistened and glistening against the sunlight! The problem is I have to keep in mind I’m old enough to be their father if not older!!

Btw this has happened, I’m not complaining ladies but watch the skirt length for heavens sake my heart isn’t as young as it used to be! Or with the advent of #METOO am I deemed sexist for looking and enjoying?

Do you wish to know why I enjoy riding double decker commuter buses in sunny weather? (You know you want to 😀 ) I’ll sit beside a top deck window waiting for my evening’s ride to pull away from the pavement, with a forearm propped upon a window-sill I’ll gaze down at delectable University students (age18) and pretty female shoppers walking past, their animated laughter and chatter a joy to behold, better still and you just know what I’m going to share with you next, more often than not when hot summer days arrive, so do tight fitting tee shirts with plunging necklines and ample boobage jiggling their own merry dance.

And because I’m seated peering down from up on high I’ll watch out for the colour of their bras as they walk on by, and if fortunate I’ll see pastel blouses with their collars open and top buttons undone, omg it’s fabulous to be alive when gazing at milk white boobs nestling comfortably within cups of various sizes, and working down the alphabet from an A cup to a DD, on a REALLY lucky day and this only happens once in a while mind, when the angle of eyeline is correctly aligned and her cups are larger in size, then I have been known to coup d’œil a small brown nipple or two.

Now that we’re on the subject of ladies’ nipples and keeping in mind their SOLE function in life is so that a baby can latch on and drink mums’ creamy goodness so they’ll grow up healthy a strong, yum yum big deal………………..

(Ahh I’ve just had an idea! I’ve some ‘breastfeeding in public’ opinions that I’ll leave for another day 🙂 )

ERR where was I? Oh yes tales of peering down ladies’ blouses! Yikes could I get into trouble doing this?

However this sexy street theatre doesn’t last forever as our gruff diesel engine rumbles into life, alas my down blouse performance is over for another day 😦 that’s until I descend the upper deck stairs and I share this thought with you quite truthfully, again when luck is on my side (lotta luck required in my life, keep up!) A BIG breasted young lady has been seen standing waiting ready to get off, I’m hovering above looking directly down, and no word of a lie, a balconette bra separating two perfectly shaped breasts with her belly button clearly in view. 

🙂 Btw she appeared like a vision one hot summer’s day last year, 😀 so ladies be aware!

c-in-gallery-deep-cleavages-and-downblouses-in-candid-street-picture-uploaded-by-tugafap-on-imag-1427279913n8g4k-700x687
I’m curious, does a woman’s sixth sense tell her when a guy or girl is taking a little more interest than perhaps they should be?

Incidentally this saucy nonsense flows easily when I’m sexually aroused, why not try it yourselves dear readers? I should add the knicker gusset aided by the lifting skirt breeze scenario happened last August! Happy days 🙂 .

(Two ‘borrowed’ stock images which are NOT my own!)

A. Shepherdson 2019

“The day we stop looking, is the day we die”

untitledeeeeeeed

Lt. Col. Frank Slade (Al Pacino):“Tits. Hoo-hah! Big ones, little ones. Nipples staring right out at ya, like secret searchlights.”

——————————————————————————–
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: “Legs. I don’t care if they’re Greek columns, or second-hand Steinways, but what’s between them… passport to heaven.”

——————————————————————————–
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: “Women. What could you say? Who made ’em? God must’ve been a f#cking genius.”

——————————————————————————–
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: “When in doubt, f#ck.”

——————————————————————————–
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: “The day we stop looking, Charlie, is the day we die.”

Shortly after publishing my recent ’75 facts About meee’ post I began to wonder whether my WordPress adult themed content is appropriate for a man of my age? In other words I’ve suddenly become VERY self conscious! 

I’d suggest, and quite rightly so reader’s views will be divided. Now 😀 I’m NOT about to apologise because Argentinian ‘Paola’ (middle aged mom blogger) told me never apologise for your blog, not that I have anything to be at all ashamed or embarrassed about sharing my sexy tales, I consider them a fun read if yes a little OTT but I’m single and very discreet blah blah blah. Perhaps I’m tooo honest here, recklessly honest in my thoughts and opinions? HOWEVER what an earth is the point in taking life and this WordPress over seriously, age appropriate goes without saying! I’ve slept around yes though I adore women’s sexuality, beguiled by their personality as much as any guy, and respect women with a passion.

If you consider me tooo old to dream and write about sex then lol shame on you that’s just plain ageist, I recently overheard my mother talking to a friend out of what she thought was my ear shot. I wasn’t!!

They were discussing their recent evening theatre trip to watch the Play ‘Calendar Girls’, well apparently one of her age 70+ friends emptied her handbag by accident and out popped some electrical wiring? Well APPARENTLY there was much giggling amongst these older girls assuming their friend carried an electric powered sex aid in her handbag! Who knows if it was, I didn’t overhear thankfully but good on her if she err did!

Anyways “she who casts the first stone and all that” John c8v7 (though I doubt John was talking about sex”) should remember I’ve read many a sexy tale written by a middle aged female blogger that would make your hairs stand on end!

Today’s Title is a favourite movie quote spoken by Al Pacino to his friend ‘Charlie’ in one of my favourite Movies ‘Scent of a Woman’, it’ll warm the hearts of many middle aged man reminding him appreciating women’s sexuality is ok and what’s more healthy and acceptable…………… you should listen to the tales regaled by the middle aged men I work with knowing their wives are not listening!

If I hadn’t slept with 35 women then I lol wouldn’t be writing about it and that’s the last time I’ll ever share that fact.

Discuss.

Scent of a Woman (Rotten Tomatoes synopsis)

Driven by an extravagant, tour-de-force performance by Al Pacino, Scent of a Woman is the story of Frank Slade (Pacino), a blind, retired army colonel who hires Charlie Simms (Chris O’Donnell), a poor college student on the verge of expulsion, to take care of him over Thanksgiving weekend. At the beginning of the weekend, Frank takes Charlie to New York, where he reveals to the student that he intends to visit his family, have a few terrific meals, sleep with a beautiful woman and, finally, commit suicide. The film follows the mis-matched pair over the course of the weekend, as they learn about life through their series of adventures. Though the story is a little contrived and predictable, it pulls all the right strings, thanks to O’Donnell’s sympathetic supporting role and Pacino’s powerful lead performance, for which he won his first Academy Award.

GO ON SAY IT! “Yeh but Andrew you not Al Pacino”, yes but we can all dream a little can’t we? 😛

A. Shepherdson 2019

Is Lust really a deadly sin? (pt2)

I guess she’s flirty with me 😀 for the simple reason I pose no threat plus I’m a nice friendly guy 🙂 .

c-2
Before I begin my tale I should point out my neighbour wasn’t walking her dog dressed in her underwear 😦 , I’d like to make that one quite clear!

Invariably on workday early mornings I’ll bump into a lady dog walker soon after leaving my home, I’m making for a bus stop with the intention of going to work, the lady is returning home after having taken her dog for a walk in the local Park and as neighbours do, we have a short chat because I’m a personable friendly sort of guy, oh and she’s married and age 45+.

Read More »

Can I sit on your face? (NSFW)

Now I’d guess above is possibly the most unusual blog Title you’ve come across today, but here’s a thing I’ve got an interesting anecdote for you, remember Gemma with the wet kitty? Well this tale features Chantelle another adorable sexy lady I’ve bumped into on my journey through life 😉 .

Jeeze a producer could take these two stories, weave into a narrative joining the sexy scenes together, choose from two age40+ actresses to play the female roles cause they’re always moaning about the lack of work for older women, then make a film about a guy’s oral bedroom escapades!…………….. ok perhaps not 😀 .

d027
😮 I’m not joking when I say I could hardly breath!

Read More »

Missionary (& NSFW)

I guess the truly intriguing side to WordPress is musing ‘I wonder who reads my blog?’ Hmm interesting, so previously in a blog post I’ve told you the length of an average erect penis, you may be aware Karina is a lady I meet inside Motels, and btw not even I know what the following post will be about?

(A Charles Dickens themed London trip follows sooon!)

**********************************************************

9chickweed-lane-latimesnn

I was reminiscing the other day, recalling happy memories, enjoying thinking about the women I’ve slept with throughout my adult life, now without breaking confidences my Virginity was taken many years ago by a lovely lady named err let’s call her Jemma, yes not her name but Jemma suits her. Now I’ll refrain from letting you in on that wonderful afternoon because I’ve already written a post sharing that fabulous experience, very emotional and possibly the best afternoon of my life…………. btw this tale will appear on a blog near you sooon! 

Read More »

‘That sacred spot of blissful heaven’ (Erotic Monday)

If you’ve happened to read yesterday’s post, you’ll know all the five days this week I am writing a tale flash fiction or whatever on the theme of women’s lingerie, don’t ask why perhaps I’m just odd that way……………….. incidentally the ‘publishing’ sequence has changed, or in other words that’s the story of my WordPress. 

Rosie-for-Autograph-silk-and-lace-Brazilian-knickers-review-600x450
Laying beside Karolina two Saturdays ago I don’t think I’ve felt happier in a long while, my lady’s aged 50 and extremely passionate, an amusing conversationalist if a little hard to follow as she’s from Poland, but not to worry she’s an extremely sexy lady, in fact my idea of a dream woman, and I know having a lady stick her tongue deep inside your mouth while kissing sounds a little ahem icky! But it really is sensuous and divine.

So where are we two aged lovers to be found? Me a fifty something who wears glasses when having sex, also Karolina with her dodgy knee that locks up meaning she has to clamber off the bed to give creaking joints a stretch! No arthritis just ‘ole mother time’ creeping up and don’t you find older women are more grateful of a guys romantic advances, not desperate for attention, no just content to be loved for who they are, no spring chicken and all, oh and fucked hard by a guy who prefers his sexual animal to be a woman of more mature years.

Where are we? Inside a Travelodge Inn alongside a busy A34 dual carriageway, a bedroom to be more exact, I’d guess American’s would call this establishment a Motel for lonely individuals driving monotonous ashen gray motorways in need of a cheap place to sleep of a night.

Our room is in pitch darkness apart from a shaft of bright light shining from the wardrobe bathroom, the temperature’s boiling as Motels often are and Karolina’s laying on our bed gazing at the ceiling with me close by her side, so close I’m all but cuddling with my body touching hers from my chest to my toes, snuggled in tightly, my six inch hardened dick resting atop her thigh and bucking bouncing off her skin to the beat of a drum, physiologically connected to the blood pumping through my heart.

Yes I do love her, my arm resting on her tummy a hand slipped inside her burgundy panties, the same exact colour as a good claret of wine. I’m not looking at her lingerie briefs though with two digit fingers gently sliding back and forth through the parted lips of her wet kitty, sweeter than wine and bare of all pubic hair but for a small stubbly patch on her mons pubis, lol there’s a medical term you don’t hear often! 

So do I miss that teenage pubic bush weeded out over the ravages of time? They’re kinda fun to run finger’s through or admire in the shower, a mop of brunette coloured hair dripping and wet.

With my fingertips doing all the talking below, my gaze is drawn to Karolina’s chest raising with every breath sipped in, two high round breasts nestling beneath her claret shaded bra cups, with its swirling patterns of lace matching the panties and my busy fingers inside, but hold on subconsciously my sexually aroused mind has control of my fingers without me knowing, playing a fiddle all by their own now pressed against her clit and dragging her intimate skin in small circles, the curtains of her labia lips now drawn tightly closed.

Then faintly audible to my ear, hardly noticeable within our church hushed boudoir, I heard the quietist whisper you ever did hear, Karolina with her eyes tightly closed, purred a softly spoken,

“Oh My God!”

Do you know if I’d cleared my throat or been distracted by noise outside I would have missed it!

She quiet startled me actually though not a muscle in my body responded to Karolina’s almost joyous incredulity, with my imagination pricked alive I suddenly realised my circling fingertips had touched a spot so sacred, nerve endings so excited by pleasure giving chemicals flooding her brain, a cocktail altering her mind, that for those few two seconds in time Karolina had been whisked to a blissful heaven itself.

(……………. and tomorrow, “Holy crap I’m on the bra and knickers Floor!”)

©A. Shepherdson 2019

 

Body image, Boob chat and Breast lumps

My earlier post Racist Britain rather depressed me, so I thought why not cheer myself up and write about women’s boobs, and as you know I love women’s boobs!

Oh dearie me how an earth am I going to try and explain this one away (however before reading remember I both respect women and adore their boobs) well all I can say is you will have your own opinions by the end! 🙂

maxresdefault
Did you know there’s a website teaching artists how to draw breasts? I know you didn’t but just goes to show you’ll discover anything on the internet if you lol look hard enough!

I could dedicate a whole blog to the human female breast, no I’m not joking I could honestly! But I would NEVER post photographs on the internet neither would I ever make fun of a woman for a reader’s amusement, most definitely not, I would be positive and respectful because I am a decent well mannered guy who adores women, in fact I’m in awe of these delicious delectable gorgeous creatures I don’t understand them mind you and there lies my insecurities. 

Btw just so as you know I am a feminist.

My breast blog (hypothetical) would be informative positive, neither salacious or kinky but yes I could be guilty of sexualising breasts however anything I’d write would be body image positive and written all because I’m obsessed fascinated by a lady’s breasts, :/ hmm perhaps a little tooo much? 

(Everyone these days seems to suffer from questionable personality traits, I have AvPD but does a disorder exist for breast obsessions if so I have a feeling I’m afflicted, seriously!)

Breast-Variation-600x338
Note I’m NOT being disrespectful to women, I’d guess it’s essential (male) artists understand how to draw breasts properly. 

You’ll be relieved to read I won’t be writing a breast themed blog!

Jeeze that’s a lengthy introduction to my tale AND I haven’t started yet.

I’ve enjoyed naked sexual fun and games with many women in my lifetime, ages range from 19 to 48, (though Karina told fibs, I’m sure she’s 55 years but a gent never asks does he!) And as you’d imagine all twenty-five ladies were gifted with very different breasts, large or small, pert or saggy, high and round, firm or squidgy, empty and drooping, not to worry I loved them all! Imagine a boob size and shape well I guess I’ve squeezed one…………….. and don’t get me started on sucking nipples or I’ll be here all evening.

(Note Karina for the purposes of this tale isn’t the lady’s real name but I like the name so Karina she is, perhaps one day I’ll write the tales of how I came to meet these women but for now I prefer not to.)

So yes in my lifetime I’ve squeezed many pairs of unenhanced natural, as God intended, human female breasts and gorgeous they were to, and truthfully each time I near fainted when they took their bras off, put it this way the reveal and drop is the definition of eroticism. But not until meeting Karina had I ever slept with a woman who’d implants in her breasts and to be honest I’m in two minds, still! On the one hand I’m okay with falsies because they were Karina’s life choice, she both paid for and loved them so that’s fine by me, enhanced plastic boobs helped her body image, calmed any insecurities and the shape and size made her happy so it doesn’t matter what I think does it.

If I were ask to take a guess I’d say she didn’t get them because men demanded them, OR maybe sublimely did she?🤔😯😕 Who knows either way I didn’t really like them but didn’t say!!

And yes laying beside Karina looking at her burgundy lace bra cupping high round breasts they did indeed look womanly fabulous, her bust profile was exquisitely proportioned to her slim body frame (not porn star pneumatic balloons, yuck no!) The implants suited her, gave her a feminine cleavage however after she’d leant forward, reaching her hands behind to unclip then tossing her intriguing lingerie to the beside chair, well after the moment of freeing those bundles of fun from their restraint they didn’t drop 😦 and I enjoy watching saggy boobs fall to above the belly button. Anyways only after first setting eyes on Karina’s falsies did two horizontal pink lines etched into her skin capture my gaze.

Yep you’ll have guessed (cause I’ve already said), those pink lines were in fact the result of a surgical blade slicing into her skin, 2″ long incisions through which silicon implants had been forced underneath her breast tissue in what must have been a brutal operation. 

Why an earth go under the knife? She could have died!

Now I’ve seen these breast implant operations on the TV and I liken them to meat butchery, horrendous, my Great Grandfather was an army meat butcher in World War One (close to Ypres) and I’d guess he lol could have been a surgeon in another life but I shouldn’t be disrespectful. Well enough to say her surgeon stitched the incisions together (a nice job) and once healed Karina was left with two red unsightly marks for the rest of her life……… hmm I’ll be honest I don’t agree with breast augmentation.

BUT she loved them both so who am I to judge, live and let live I say.

Well because I’m an inquisitive sort of guy, an engineer by trade, I spent the next quarter of an hour asking all manner of questions, prodding squeezing basically giving her my own unskilled type of breast examination and she was happy to teach. In fact she guided my hand with hers to a point above her left implant, I gently pressed and felt a hard 4mm sized circular lump under the skin, I near freaked out with the shock and Karina had a look of concern etched across her brow then she said,

“Don’t worry the lump’s not cancerous”.

Jeeze I don’t think I’ve received such a heart stopping shock before, she should have warned me of a hard lump because I hadn’t frigging expected it!! Karina then went on to explain a hospital biopsy had revealed the lump wasn’t cancerous but I think her broken Polish accent meant I missed the true reason in translation, however she assured me the implant hadn’t split which was my next worry. Suffice to say she was booked in to have surgery this ********* though I could see she was quite concerned………………. don’t you think it a shame that a woman has to endure surgery and silicon bags inserted under her skin to improve the way she sees her body? AND didn’t she understand men love boobs whatever the size and shape I guess not?

I felt disappointed that afternoon, Karina’s implants were firm hard and yes they gave her a perky profile, but I’d loved them to have to been squidgy and jiggle, pendulously swing when she moved just as God intended, so okay they were hard but after 5 minutes of sucking licking and caressing I overcame any doubts……………. well nearly all!

Anyways we both relaxed and began to enjoy each other’s bodies, we kissed passionately the womanly smell of her freshly showered skin passing my nostrils and just so as you know I’m not a great fan of bottled perfume because ladies naturally smell divine ❤ , I’ll choose the clean animal scent of a woman over manufactured smells every time…….. I’ll share no further details, you’re all sexual animals lol you 😉 understand many of the ‘positions’ naked lovers get up to in bed together, even with her dodgy knee! (She got out of bed at one point to click it back into position.)

Enough said, joking apart I learnt you should always see a Doctor if there’s something medically not right with your body.

tumblr_n38jwqQywO1twkucxo1_1280
Artists drawings of naturel breasts 

I’ll wrap up this post by saying Karina and I will see each other again and no doubt chat about her (our) health but I’ll leave any ladies reading with one thought. I’ve worked with many men, both young and old over the past thirty five years and I’ve yet to come across a guy who liked breast implants, and yes the subject has raised it’s head upon many occasions. Btw if you’re 🙂 curious my take is why bother putting yourself through major surgery if your identified sexual partner doesn’t like them? Discuss. 

There you are lol knowledge shared from me to you, we guy’s love ‘au naturel’ unenhanced breasts whatever their size shape and ‘squidgyness’ so ladies please don’t ever assume we don’t.

©A. Shepherdson 2018

 

EROTICA, for Centuries women have found pleasure upon the faces of men. Rosie!

Mildly adult themed therefore NSFW, incidentally did you know the anachronym stands for Not Suitable For Work? Hmm I didn’t until just recently, true.

oralI remember the afternoon I tasted a woman for the first time, close my eyes and I see two naked adults laying on a bed together, one a middle aged guy the other an Irish lady with dusty blonde hair and a few miles on the clock. Curvaceous she was with round perky tits, a tiny waist as you could ever hope to see and conversely wide child bearing hips giving her a classic pear shape figure as only English girls usually have.

So there we lay in a swanky London bedroom (hmm we’ll name her Rosie) the day she agreed to me going down below, she wasn’t sure mind biting her bottom lip with thoughts of I want to but let him wait, and a guy must never EVER pressurise a lady into doing something she’s not keen to. There Rosie lay on a friend’s large double bed, a window to our right curtains drawn with Autumn sun streaming onto us two naked lovers, passion filled and excited as two giddy intoxicated teenagers making love for the first time, the warmth of the sunlight making the temperature just right against a new season chill.

I asked, she agreed and neither of us had come after much kissing and fondling building to an intensity as only fabulous foreplay can do, the consequence both our brains were nervously excited and sexually stimulated as I moved from laying beside her warm fragrant body of sizeable hips and boobs jiggling like cold jelly sitting on a plate. Rosie parted her thighs, slowly to reveal sweet honey as you lift the lid of a beehive, a wonderous gorgeous moment as her lips curtain open, a moment I will never tire of till my dying day ❤ . 

Rosie now laying in the most receptive position a woman could ever give of herself if a little precarious, her outer labia parted revealing moistened pink flesh, plump soft folds near succulent to eat now made ever more shocking contrasted against milky white skin! But no I wasn’t going to slip and slide my hardness inside, no not for a while anyway, this afternoon I’d been given permission to lick and taste this wonderous beautiful oh so erotic opening leading deep inside a woman’s physical soul. 

I knelt before her as if praying at a religious altar, a special Godly place where you discover the meaning to life after entering heaven’s pearly gates. I smoothed the palms of my hands up and down her milk white silken thighs, touching for a second the pink patch surrounding her V, a colour of skin hidden by a woman’s panties and ever so erotic if you happen to see a lady her skirt drawn up her thighs, her intimacy hidden by soft white cotton delicates, if lucky you can just make out this flush tinted skin and yes very different to the rest of her body. Erotic. Secret and seldom often seen?

I’d waited my whole adult life for this moment, Rosie wide open her wet treasure glistening in the sunlight, me kneeling stroking with a finger, touching her pink rose petal the surrounding to her lips only to quickly pull away, tease her, arouse and excite, then Rosie having had enough of my annoying foreplay says,

“Go on Andrew lick me!”………….. a woman of few words was Rosie and if you want something badly enough do you need to ask twice when the connection you have with a lover is a near telepathic joining of souls!

Read More »

Beautiful Helen……. pt2 (erotica)

Continued from Helen part one click ‘pingback here’ and 2 days later here’s the ending, also mild adult fiction.

Boob 2

Quick as a flash, I turned and near ran through my living room door………. 

………………… pulling the front door shut behind me! Helen had disappeared from clipping her pink roses hadn’t she, vanished into thin air?

I paused in my driveway my breathing beginning to steady as a spinning brain caught up after a very surreal last half an hour. One minute I’d been jerking myself off watching my gardening neighbour’s jiggling boobs within her yellow blouse, the next Helen over the road lifted the cotton top, showing me her pert round breasts and on reflection I’d say they’re a B cup!

Anyways now I’m perspiring searching for Helen who, if you read part 1, had incredibly beckoned me over to her home!

A thought crossed my mind, ‘the minx was playing games, she’d caught me watching her garden and teasingly flashed her tits’, oh ‘blank’ my heart sank! Helen’s getting her own back, leading me on with intentions of………. ?

A feeling of disappointment seeped into my mind, no more a worrisome thought, perhaps she’d cleared off to tell her husband I’m a Peeping Tom! ‘Oh God No’ as I quite involuntary felt an ache in my stomach, then my mature wet dream with a smiling face appeared from behind the corner of her house.

Waving her arms vigorously, Helen beckoned me a second time calling out,

“Andrew!……………….. Andrew, hurry up man” taking a sideways glance up the road she turned and continues,

“Hurry up, we haven’t much time!” All the while her arm waving me over and quite vigorous it was to, yummy mummy Helen really DID want me OVER!

Hurriedly stepping off the pavement I ran across the road remembering to glance both directions,

“Jeeze I don’t want to be hit by a car not now of all days”, I muttered.

My mind now trying to comprehend what an earth was happening in my life, at the same time a beating heart pounding within my chest blood pumping into my brain giving a numbed headache, a sexually excited thought consumed me as I jogged toward her garage and down a tiled path toward an alleyway leading to her rear garden, ‘doe’s she want my hard dick I wonder?’

From gazing out my window to jogging this claustrophobic pathway is but a minute yet felt like a lifetime, I mused “Hell’s fire, is this crazy woman tripping on drugs?” 

No sooner had I finished saying what could be my final sentence here on earth, my pace slowing to a briskness as I walked from the shadowed confines of a tight walled alley into the glaring sun of a VERY surreal late afternoon!

I stopped, soon followed by a near heart attack that could have taken my final breath as Helen jumped out from behind the house, flinging her arms around my shoulders she drew me closer as her back hit the wall and rather too hard to be comfortable.

Helen’s arms encircling my shoulders, my face but inches away from hers I felt warm breath against my mouth, and pulling me yet tighter into her body my two hands moved aside her hips as curling fingers held Helen’s waist. So close now our bodies touching from chest to thighs I felt her warmth through thin cotton fabric, her bosom rising with every intake of excited breath, my bulging groin now pressing deep into Helen’s crotch, and so large was my thickened dick it felt uncomfortable to move.

We kissed, passionately two adulterous lover’s wet lips parted open, the tips of our tongues touching entwined and dancing, my eyes wide open, Helen’s closed as her head moved from one side to the other her gorging lips devouring mine. For several minutes we deep throat kissed until finally one of us said something breaking a pre coitus silence.

Pulling her face from mine, Helen quite out of breath said,

“Andrew we haven’t much time”, smiling so sweetly her lips pecked me on mine and my heart began to sing, now my frenzied brain had finally caught up with the past 5 minutes near dreamlike incredulity. ‘Oh yes I’m quite alive’ I mused while standing in Helen’s rear garden pressing her against the wall kissing cuddling and for this brief moment her soft wet lips showed all I ever needed to know, ‘Helen wanted me, needed me, loved me!’

“My husband’s buying paint at the DIY store” she smiled a wanting fire lit in her eyes, “there’s no time to f### right now”, that was a shock and a half I can tell you……. ‘WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT SEX?’ “But I will jerk you off this time” she continued with a grin “I could see you staring at me and wanking, you dirty devil Andrew!”

Pausing blushing and smiling at my adulterous siren, Helen went further, “I was watching your right arm jerking, tell me did you come?”

“NO, and stopping near killed me Helen!”

Me open mouthed, a look of shock across my face, I just about got a questioning “you mean my curtain’s are actually see through?” 

Then at the very point of Helen answering, my torso pulled back, the palm of my open right hand thrust into her crotch groping and squeezing her intimacy, my fingers prising her thighs apart as they curled underneath her fanny bridge, warm soft no doubt twitching and ready.

Helen gasped whatever she was about to answer unable to come from her mouth.

I squeezed her crotch tighter cupping my palm ever wider, the other hand now tugging at the button of her jeans a sexual excitement overtaking any lingering inhibitions. My imagination had long ago dissipated now replaced by a carnal primeval lust, the only thought ‘my fingers are going between her pussy lips whether she stops me or not!’

(Remember 🙂 this is a tall tale)

My fumbling fingers having unbutton her jean’s 28″ waist I pulled down the cold metal zipper, excitedly tugging at the raw cotton sliding down her shapely thighs, bending my knees as I crouched. Standing again my left arm reached around Helen’s hip an open hand squeezing a buttock feeling it’s roundness beneath soft cotton panties. As my right hand felt her ass, fingers of my other hand fumbled again into Helen’s crotch as I pulled her pantie gusset to one side, wriggling dexterous fingers in between parted folds of moist labia, all the while our faces but inch’s apart staring into each others eyes and both breathing ever deeper.

She smiled again, whimpering panting then catching a breath again as my dancing fingers touched a sacred pleasure spot, and after what seemed an age of fingering Helen’s dripping wet treasure, she worriedly repeated her stark warning,

“Paul won’t be long, we’ll f### another day Andrew” betraying a sadness in her eyes, she continued “you feel so big and thick against me, I’ll take you inside I promise”, then glancing down at her wrist watch and looking terrified, she said,

“Omg he’ll return in minutes, you have to go! NOW!” Such a crying shame I mused with my hand deep under Helen’s crotch and fingers searching for god knows what inside her warm pussy?

The excitement all tooo much for me, remember I was at a point of climax but ten minutes ago, I felt my ball’s rising as their storks shortened, my throbbing penis bucking as gorgeous sensations excited the nerve endings around the rim of my ‘bellend’, “I can’t hold back any longer” I whispered, panicking thoughts of ‘this passion’s all to much for me’ flooding my mind numbed drugged and slightly euphoric.

My eyes losing contact with hers, my head jerked back as I ejaculated thick creamy semen into my boxer shorts, warm and sticking to my thigh, an audible “I’m coming” gasping through open lips as I released, and God how I kept releasing!

The End.

(All very tame content with zero sex, oh and BTW my last erotic sexy tale for a while 😉 )

©A. Shepherdson 2018

 

 

Beautiful Helen from across the road (erotica)

Click ‘here’ for ‘Beautiful Helen from across the road’ The Ending!!!

Boobs 4

I’m standing close behind the living room window gazing at my neighbour Helen across the road, but don’t worry she cannot see me I’ve got net curtains that’s why, and take note I’m not a curtain twitcher or a peeping Tom looking at what others are up to in their spare time. No it’s just people pass by and used to look through the window into my living room, so UP went the net curtain!

But watching Helen busying herself pottering around her front garden is different, and I’m not being nosey mind, certainly not because this is me time, a time to gaze and appreciate my beautiful neighbour from across the Road.

Helen’s an elegant young looking fifty year old, with a slim and slender body now crouching on the lawn facing me, one knee pressed into the grass, a trowel in hand weeding around the bases of her delightful and loved rose trees.

Every so often she’ll lean forward her pretty face a picture of concentration as her arms tug at stubborn dandelions the most invasive of plants, and I watch and wait for these very moments because invariably at the same time as her vigorous gardening the looping neck line of Helen’s baggy yellow blouse opens to reveal pendulous firm boobs waving from side to side. Then if I really concentrate my gaze I can just about see her nipples, large dark disks of areola they are, chocolate brown in fact now vividly contrasted against her milk white skinned boobs.

Omg there must be a particularly hard weed to pull out because she has to stand up bend forward and tug with all her slender might, and joy of joys the neck of her oversize blouse drapes further and opens even wider to reveal both breasts now swinging untethered by a tight fitting bra. Oh thank you Sweet Jesus for summer gardening days such as these!

A questioning thought suddenly crossed my mind, jeeze I pondered, Helen doesn’t half spend a long time weeding that same patch directly opposite me! Glancing down at my wrist watch, and now very shocked to see my neighbour in the early autumn days of her life hadn’t moved from weeding that single pink flowering rose tree for, I stared at the dial and quite taken aback I realised for the last ten minutes……… I physically gulped in shock! A cold shiver went down my spine, omg I thought to myself, ‘Helen knows I’m watching, my curtains aren’t blocking my voyeuristic playtime as well as I’d hoped and assumed.’

‘Holy f*ck!’ my brain momentarily in seizure, ‘jeeze what happens now’ I thought with beads of sweat forming on the skin of my brow, and all the time I rushed to let go of the shaft of my hardened penis, tugging at the elasticated hem of my boxer shorts, because yes I’d been masturbating whilst gazing at Helen’s pendulous swinging boobs with chocolate coloured nipples!

As you can imagine my mind’s in a state of excited panic, my heavy breathing isn’t only because I’d been caught watching, no minutes earlier I’d very nearly climaxed. creamy jizz soon to squirt into a white tissue held with the other hand, my excited hard shaft bucking and twitching about to shoot its load!

Yet more panic as I reached down to pull up my jeans and all this time Helen stood like an ashen faced manikin straight out of a teen horror movie, motionless, erect her face staring unnervingly straight at me through a net curtain more see through than I’d ever assumed!

‘What an earth happens now?’ I thought. ‘Does she run for her husband? Call the Police to arrest the peeping Tom from across the Road?’ A myriad of awful doom laden thoughts flashed past my mind as I finally zipped up my jean flies, my clothing now straight!

I felt my cheeks burning hot, cold droplets of perspiration trickling down my torso, my armpits now as warmed as all other erogenous parts of my body, then Helen did something so incredible, so close to unbelievable I nearly cannot write of the shock right here! Helen lifted her two arms, hands clasping the hem of her vivid yellow flouncy cotton blouse, only to pull the garment to first passing her waist, pause, then yet further still up and over her bosom so revealing two round breasts…………….. both approx a palmful therefore from experience I’d say a fulsome c cup.

So previously close to orgasm I nearly jizzed inside my boxer’s there and then!

Open mouthed my face a picture of bewildered incredulity, Helen smiled from across the road and for a second I don’t think I’ve felt such a mixture of relief and happiness mixed into one. But hold on her right hand no longer holding the garment’s waist hem, Helen raised her arm and with a curled up first finger my beautiful neighbour from across the road beckoned me closer.

Quick as a flash, I turned and near ran through my living room door……

To be continued and the link to part two you’ll find at the beginning!

©A. Shepherdson 2018 original and written by me.

doggy (mild adult themes)

15-doggy-position-funny-cartoon

Always remember (please try I know this can be difficult) I’m DEFINITLY NOT a sex blogger but I’m no different to every other adult walking this spinning planet, I experience funny urges you all do, so being as I’m an observational ‘writer’ and adults are sexual animals therefore life and love will time to time combine together in a post………….. so if you’re under 18 you’ll find NOT a jot of interest here…………….. incidentally if you’re over 18 :/ you may not either………… but hopefully yes.

So if you’ve been following this Blog closely you’ll understand my favourite’s cowgirl, if you didn’t already realise there are 64 BECAUSE having followed my tales you’ll now know there are 64 so hopefully you should be asking yourself ‘how many have I tried with another human being male or female?’ Oh and be aware you can lose 250 calories missionary and I’ve yet ONE more nugget of adult information for you namely a ladies favourite clothes free fun and games activity is doggy!

I’d bet you didn’t know that or lol perhaps it’s fake news 😀

If you’re unaware, I’ve been near obsessed trying to figure how many I have been enjoying with a lady? Just the other day I was sat in my Doctor’s surgery note absolutely nothing to do with you know whats, and I found myself picking up a magazine from the waiting room coffee table THEN proceeding to jot down this numbered list of how many I’ve tried? I counted 7 but then I thought being sucked is a definite but is spanking a bottom whilst being sucked an on its own position? Or a variation of one theme? Still lol passes the time jotting any type of list whatever that may be, I only hope someone rather intrigued doesn’t ask me what I’m doing!

If at this point reading you’re none the wiser and haven’t an earthly as to what I’m hinting to? Then shame on you for not Following my blog btw I’m ONLY joking! And further still apparently, and read carefully, a ‘Lady of the Night’s’ favourite is yes you’ve guessed doggy, so if you enjoy being uhmm from behind then perhaps keep in mind you could work in the service industry, upmarket because all you reading right now I know are classy men and women!

Hmm :/ after reading this insightful observation of female positional preference, taken from the internet incidentally, and yes after having taken her from the rear I got to wondering why so popular with 51% of the population? I guess crouched on the bed ‘all fours’ means you don’t have some great weight laying on top, not forgetting legs wide akimbo is a rather uncomfortable position to be ploughed into by some dribbling, gasping for air, over excited ‘person’?

But being serious for a second, again I guess because I actually don’t know the answer, I would imagine ladies can absently minded stare at the bed’s headboard without looking him in the face, especially if she had a headache and didn’t feel like it tonight, but she resigned herself to keeping partner content and happy so relented, but at least with doggy you could even read a book, plan next week’s food shop at the supermarket or ask yourself why are my in-laws such frigging hard work?

So yes why not go doggy, forearms pressed deep into the soft spongy quilt cover, allow him to at least touch you by only holding by the waist and MAKE him do all the work, whatever the reason it’s all very sedate, no effort and keeps hubby happy.

Apologies to any readers bored by my meandering adult observational musings, early evening thoughts!

A. Shepherdson 2018

Missionary (mild adult themes)

Be aware mild sexual themes, my Muppet/Sex Pistol post is next.

Btw if you are at all curious as to what prompted this evening’s sxual musings, I made love to a lovely lady this afternoon and I’m feeling pretty good about life…………. yes all very self indulgent and perhaps maybe showing off a little but hey lol it’s my WordPress 🙂 . Ok why not call my relaxed easy going contentment a moment to be treasured (been a while) BECAUSE all feelings of post coital joy will have worn off by tomorrow but as of right now, my place in the grand scheme of Planet Earth is a moment of easy going, up-beat, carefree joy and all is well with my life! Lol never lasts!

Changing tack (nautical like) did you know or should I say were you aware 10 minutes missionary burns 250 calories so says an American medical study and I never knew this apparently the world average time from beginning to consummation takes 5 minutes (jeeze I’m going to have to try harder), btw I read it on tinternet so must be true! Yep making love with your partner only burns 250 calories, hmm a bit of a bummer when there’s 200 calories in a Sainsburys sugar rim donut!

But look on the bright side at least you had fun and no doubt a giggle. Yes my friend and I were intimate together and for 2 hours or so our souls connected and became as one but the sx aside, which was 😉 ok, more than anything else I enjoyed her company, the warmth of her body as we embraced, massaging and stroking her silky soft skin, kissing deep into her ass cheek, all a lot more fun than rolling around the bedsheets (as if two 50yr olds friggin could, her with a dodgy knee and me with my pulled shoulder!)

We made love and it was beautiful……………… but alas with a Monday morning comes hassle pressure and hard work! Pay’s the Bills I guess!

I’m not actually quite sure where I’m going with this post, not a new problem of mine but I’ll run with it. As I stated in an earlier post read your copy of the Kama Sutra and it’ll say there are 64 known positions for having sx, oh you haven’t a copy of this lover’s Bible well neither have I! But ever since I happened across this nugget of trivia I’ve wondered how many positions has a lady and myself attempted trying to consummate our love making and I’ve counted 6 or 7 maybe even 8! 

If you’re disgusted (bored) or ‘whatever’, feel free to comment but I HAVE been discreet, your awareness of the lady is a little less than of Eve, and note how sex with a lover always should be!

A. Shepherdson 2018

(Btw I neither Tag or Categorise a post with sexual words simply because I’m NOT a sex Blogger)

 

 

 

 

Registered car guards, I’m rather taken aback!

Below are photos of my Grandfather’s delivery vans, he owned his own Bakery! I’ll leave you to guess if I’m a Weale’ or a ‘Bateman’ or ‘another’ Lol.

Weale and Bateman1942

1929 Cinderford
My Grandfather, he’s been dead many years but I still think about him everyday of my life! I miss him terribly!

I Follow a lady blogger who writes all the way from deepest darkest Africa, and don’t you think it amazing that you can open your tablet Reader and then be whisked away into the thoughts of bloggers from around the world.

Well paraphrasing a little, this lady pointed out something that I’d never come across before, registered car guards! I guess this service is a sign of modern times, having said that when I daily listen to Jeremy Vine on BBC’s Radio 2 or read when I pickup my daily copy of the Metro free newspaper, I’ll be reminded of the previous days crime stories. AND without coming across as seeming rather smug at her shocking insights, I sometimes wonder if Britain is heading on a similar path?

:/ Time will tell I guess.

Did you know London has a bigger murder rate bigger than in New York USA!! The choice of weapon isn’t guns in our case, it’s knives and I’m not underplaying the fact when I say knife crime in the UK is now out of control since the policy of stop and search was abandoned!

And ‘shock of shocks’, you’ll sense a touch of sarcasm here, now that our Police cannot stop and search young men if they suspect them of carrying a knife, young men now carry knives with them!!! Jeeze I saw this coming (with age comes wisdom) and wouldn’t you know it, the public are now demanding the Police have the power to stop and search people who in their professional opinion could be carrying a knife?

Unbelievable you couldn’t make this shit up and in the meantime innocent law abiding citizens have been knifed to death, it’s so tragic.

Well returning to my African blogger’s post and I’ll quote an extract, ‘they have an abundance of registered car-guards who do an excellent job of protecting our cars from being stolen while we shop and go about our business errands.’ Well I learnt something new today and yes quite shocking BUT how long before we in the UK go into Town to shop visit the Post Office or whatever and pay to have someone watch their car so as it’s not broken into?

Without sounding flippant I guess hers is a service that’s creating employment opportunities, having your car watched does seem a great idea for peace of mind, and it won’t be long until big British cities follow suit. Anyways, then I got to remembering an anecdote my Grandfather would often tell me when I was a child, a true tale from the days of owning vans used in his Bakery business. Grandpa ‘Bob’ would proudly tell me back that when living back in the 1940’s, he’d purchased a new van and it would be delivered with the absence of car door locks!

Yes I know unbelievable incredible isn’t it, and I guess all these years since he last told me this anecdote, the vision of him driving into Town, leaving his delivery van unlocked whilst he delivered bread, is well inconceivable in present day crime ridden England.

So sad!

Dolly and Kitchener
My Great Aunt Alice and her brother ‘Kitch’ delivering eggs to London, back then could you leave a horse and cart unattended safe in the fact ‘it’ wouldn’t get stolen?

A. Shepherdson 2018