Facemask lingerie……… or what to do with used PPE

So my question for today is, “could you pull this look off?”

Or then again the phrase ‘ingenuity is the mother of all invention’ comes to mind.

Pulling this look off depends on boob size I guess, if you’re an A size bra cup (possibly a AA) like Rianne Meijer above then you’ll have little to worry about, they’ll neither jiggle or bounce whilst she walks however larger endowed ladies of a certain age may struggle, and regrettably real life takes its toll, after a lady has nursed her offspring they’ll sag a little no doubt pendulously swinging from side to side, I’m not being disrespectful mind! I think it’s wonderful mothers breastfeed their babies, nurturing them with warm milk so they’ll grow healthy and cognitive with strong bones oh and a little sweet tasting as I’m reliably informed.

Yes I said sugary sweet but note I’ve never tasted………… unfortunately 😦 .

Many many months ago I commented a mummy blogger as to the taste of her breastmilk and she replied lol ‘a little sweeter than cows milk Andrew’, well you gotta ask haven’t you. Anyways before I (don’t) meander into my love of women’s breasts yet again (yawn)…….. what was I chatting about? Oh yes question for the day ‘could you pull-off a bra look made from disposable face masks’ and I’ve concluded the smaller boobed lady could but breastfeeding mothers and bustier ladies may struggle, I guess if you’re of a high round firm B cup maybe C you’ll be ok, but D’s and DD+ may be light on support but omg for us guys the results would make for spectacular viewing as they bounced their unsupported jig beneath tight fitting jersey’s.

The Dutch influencer I’m sharing above has been slammed online after fashioning a bikini from old facemasks, Rianne Meijer shocked and offended her Instagram followers (well there’s a surprise lol) by wearing a bikini fashioned from yes facemasks, and all I can add is I admire her results, disposable mask material is designed to concertina outwards covering a human animals nose mouth and chin, and looking at Rianne’s AA cup boobs her facemasks appear to cover and support beautifully………. and don’t you think azure blue is such a flattering colour on a woman and the matching knickers are a work of art! 😀

You didn’t know this but one of my more useless life skills is guessing, correctly I might add, a woman’s correct bra size, yep I’ll look at her pair of boobs and can tell you if she’s an A cup B C or DD whatever, a talent honed from my lifetime’s gazing at women’s breasts but that’s a whole other on-line posting, 😀 .

I have a social media theory I’ve touched on before. When followers reply comments like these below Rianne’s posting:

Why you waste masks like that?” One person wrote, while another simply said: “Just no.”

“What a waste of PPE,” another person commented, with another saying: “You are so great & I love your content usually. But wasting masks is not something that should be advertised.”

But come on are they actually disgusted? Are they really deeply offended? Or are they just making their voice heard and trying to provoke a reaction? I’d guess the second, they’ll comment and click the send button and being as the youth of today have the concentration timespan of a goldfish, seconds later they’ll ‘swipe’ to another Tweet or Instagram photo and dream up some other pithy humorous offended reply hoping that others like and share, it’s only the 5% of nasty bullying Trolls who are in truth angry and that’s a reflection of their personalities in real life……….. I blame the frigging media, it’s their fault these harmless ‘offended’ replies are taken seriously, for heaven’s sake why does the BBC share a selection of Tweets written by G list celebrities beneath a serious News story? I neither care for these musicians and soap actors opinions and as I said before, they’re NOT that offended anyway.

Returning to beautiful sexy Rianne, what I say is lighten up, at the least the young lady is upcycling disposable facemasks into brand new bra’s, as we know mask plastic fabric is unrecyclable ending it’s useful life discarded and thrown in City streets across the globe, or heartbreakingly it’s elastic straps entwined around a birds feet or sucked into dolphins and whales stomachs 😦 , jeeze we invent these wonderful products yet don’t think about what to do with them when used and the affect on nature is upsetting.

So for heavens sake lighten up with the criticism I say, now if every girl fills her knicker draw with bras fashioned from old facemasks then just imagine the positive affects for our environment, so I’ve a suggestion for all you ladies out there, whether A or DD cup go to your bedroom and lock the door, seat yourselves before your vanity mirror, carefully construct a bra from facemasks, strip naked topless and put on the delicate to admire the effect……… and why not start a movement and POST THE PICTURES ON YOUR INSTAGRAM!

A. Shepherdson 2021

(Remember I have the utmost respect for women who have breastfed their babies and would NEVER make fun at their expense.)

Me video conferencing!

Working from home is the future they said, socializing and entertaining ourselves whether that be streamed movies or computer gaming will be how we occupy our spare time they said, and now the future’s arrived prematurely due to covid, many people are asking themselves ‘do I really want to live my life without real human beings?’ Now we have all this incarcerated free time many of us are missing the physical contact our workplace’s bring, whether that be ‘me’ people watching scantily clothed ladies on a commuter bus ride to work (simple pleasures but I love it so), or someone chatting about their family’s up and coming summer holiday to Greece, yes many of us are regretting the digital age’s grand finale, the realisation we now NO longer need to leave our homes!

Btw the media aren’t lying, I’ve seen so many more braless women this summer…cue a shallow excuse to show braless ‘mature ladies’ on my Blog. (In my opinion these completely useless garments of lingerie should be banned by law, spot fined if they’re seen in public, jail even unless removed! 😀 )

Anyways where was I? Oh yes on-line video conferencing.

I surreptitiously took our Teams photo earlier today midway through a meeting (via my mobile phone camera), and if you’re at all curious glance down to the bottom right hand corner, and you’ll see my face lol video linking from the comfort of my own living room…. 1940’s science fiction incarnated!

A simple example of how our workplaces have changed forever due to lockdown, no more travelling into Oxford by commuter bus each Friday, sitting around a table with these familiar work colleague’s faces a long ago memory, now I sit at my dining room table staring at a laptop computer screen for one hour (even more ridiculous I’m talking to a PC), and happily our interpersonal ‘dynamics’ haven’t changed since our last physical get together in March….. jeez that’s four months ago!

Even if workplaces do return to some sort of normality, many aspects of our lives will not, digital shopping has replaced walking into Town in person and I’ve lost count of the number of packages Amazon has delivered. Now we surf their ‘shop window’, pay digitally with a credit card and a very nice gentleman will deliver the package very next day and if you have Amazon Prime postage is completely free (no more queueing and buying car park tickets), in fact I’m struggling right now to remember the last time I used cash!

I Have to admit I’m missing the hustle and bustle of crowded city centers 😦 .

The future has arrived prematurely so say retail experts, cov-d-19 has accelerated the move to working also shopping from home, wander down your desolate High Street’s with all the closed business and realise many will never reopen and that’s so so sad. (Big sigh) that’s progress for you, but I cannot help wondering whether the social cost is worth the convenience of being able to buy on-line, globally million’s of shop workers will be thrown on the employment scrapheap, occupation’s consigned to history along with chimney sweeps and gas lamplighters walking darkened city streets flame in hand, now there’s a truly dangerous occupation!

A female colleague today commented lockdown is “sending me mad”, a sentiment I’ve heard said many times by different people, so has human progress taken us to the point where we’re prisoners living 24/7 in solitary confinement? Meals brought to our doorstep, social interaction via a TV monitor, amusing ourselves playing on-line computer games with complete strangers living in other countries, children being schooled from home, group fitness sessions with friends via zoom, we’ve now reached an actual point in human history where we have NO need to leave the house.

But I’d suggest this accelerated switch to digital living has caught people unawares, blown through our lives like a whirlwind with many of us our asking ourselves ‘do I really wish to live this way?’ Is isolation depression, the toll on our mental health really worth giving up the simple pleasure of wandering around department stores, perhaps meeting with friends in some quaint coffee shop, or experiencing strong winds and driving rain blown into our faces as we enjoy window shopping for things we’d love to buy one day.

Transport me back to the 1980’s please I’ve seen the future and I don’t like it!

A. Shepherdson 2020

The ‘button down boob gap’

“And here’s me thinking I knew everything there was to know about women’s fashion….. turn’s out I didn’t”

I have a female breast tale for you this evening and if you’ve not read this blog before you won’t know of my (healthy) breast obsession, oh how I adore those warm squidgy bundles of fun ❤️.

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Busty girl’s boobs create a wardrobe malfunction technically referred to as the ‘button down boob gap’…… well who’d have known?

As god is my witness, until researching this evening’s photos the phrase ‘button down boob gap’ was unknown to me, and here’s me assuming I knew everything there was to know about knickers bras and ladies lingerie, I’m a man of the world so how on earth did this phrase pass me by? For heaven’s sake there’s even a YouTube sewing video teaching women the tricks to avoiding this dreaded ‘peek-a-boob’ gap, and I’d suggest when a lady’s dressing of a morning or trying on a new blouse in a fashion shop fitting room, one thought will be on her mind….. ‘this blouse isn’t working you can still see my bra. ‘

Or for the more outspoken female readers amongst you….. ‘WTF! MY TITS ARE SHOWING!’ 

**************************************

The organisation I’m employed by has a new female employee, a lovely lady what’s more she suffers from a delightful busty girl problem, jeeze how much personal detail can I divulge without landing me in hot water, just imagine the hoo-hah this post could create if heaven forbid she actually read it!

Oh well not to worry ‘in for a penny in for a pound’ as they say…. 

I’ll be completely honest with you dear readers, the lady I’m about to describe just might not bare resemblance to our lady at work, many people to their cost upload info onto the internet, fail to forget those ghosts and lurkers reading your blog might well know you in person……..  oh yes! So with anonymity clearly in mind hopefully my co-worker wouldn’t couldn’t recognise herself, now there’s a satisfying conceit if she suspected.

So let’s begin, 9.00am prompt last Friday morning, seated around an expansive meeting room table picture an assortment of professional men and women ranging from age 23-65, quite a demographic spread with the majority a male orientation, incidentally there’s a fair few cross dressing ‘trans people’ floating around our department but that’s a whole different blog post……. without googling does trans mean they’ve had their testicles removed? Or would that be transvestite?… God knows I’m too old to care.

Keep on message Andrew. You need to appreciate these weekly conferences are sooo boring, attendance is compulsory and so we’re told ‘essential’ but the jury’s out and I’m still to be convinced. Just so as you know, this table I’d liken to Christ’s final supper with the important Holy One keeping this tiresome charade in track. Now for the sex interest, seated to our messiah’s left sits his trusting secretary and just so as you know I’m in turn seated at right angles to this age 50 lady…… picture the scene, common you can work it out!

I’m an extra within this tiresome pantomime, my place is listen not to speak and mentally take notes for the following weeks tasks, so there I sat reclining back in my cushioned chair, facing the Holy One but three metres away, then omg several minutes in my attention’s suddenly drawn to our secretary’s ample bosom, a fine looking woman let’s call Clementine shall we. The first fleeting thrill of a Friday morning is her entrance for she wears age appropriate short dresses in summer, pleated skirts and sheer black stockings in winter, and believe me the penis anticipates her choice of hemline, now here’s a thought how many others are dreaming of sexual relations with sweet Clementine? 

Absentmindedly listening to these lovely yet rather self important individuals is boring, but realising there’s a subplot, people vying for good favour can be entertaining and oh yes there’s plenty of bs! I invariably spend the entire meeting quietly people watching for if truth be told my presence is invisible to these intellectual superstars. Hopefully unaware, my eyes darted around the room often returning to gaze at Clementine’s bosom, a busty lady today wearing a buttercup yellow ‘button down blouse’ and floral skirt…… I’ve changed the colours but lol you guessed that anyway.

Studiously writing and scribbling down notes, a concentrated gaze never broken from her sheet paper minutes, time to time Clementine paused all the while listening intently to God’s weary sermon, she’d look up, then recline again to her prim up-right position, and omg it’s then I noticed as this lady’s blouse floated back and forth, a gaping hole appeared between the blouse buttons shrouding her bosom……. that caught my attention I can tell you!

Jeeze, I’d sell my soul for a squeeze and suck of her tits.

Now, I’m safe in the knowledge this lady’s most important weekly task is to take notes then later disseminate via email to present attendees, I’m safe then, she’s now dutifully employed and I’m captivated watching her large at a guess DD breasts, btw a fantasy induced wet dream of mine is to bend her over that table, pull her knickers down and thrust my penis from behind, but again that’s a whole other blog post.

Just so as you know I’m safe in the knowledge Clementine’s unfazed by my wicked attention, with breasted torso rocking back and forth, a small window would appear revealing yes her right breast, a pale pink blush in colour nestling within a padded half cup of white fabric, delicately cushioned, absent of frilly lace and a little grey having seen the inside of many a washing machine tub.

Yes Clementine this Friday morning suffered a wardrobe malfunction created by a combination of faulty blouse design and very large tits, massive boobs that today naturally separated resting to Clem’s sides and a half cup bra that was at a guess a touch tooo loosely fitting, ‘omg’ I thought to my self.. ‘ you’re showing an awful lot of skin’…. definitely not a Wonderbra.

My penis hardened regularly last Friday morning half gazing through Clementine’s button down boob gap, incidentally throughout my lifetime a vision I’ve clocked many occasions before, and I’m wondering now whether I’ll watch her erotic clothing performance ever again. For twenty minutes I half gazed at her right curvacious boob, half expecting a nipple areola to appear, I’m telling you now I was half expecting a rim of chocolate brown to pop out, my guess is yes, from my experience big breasted women with pendulous drooping breasts empty if milk after suckling several babies are expansive and brown, yep my educated knowledge tells me Clem’s areola wasn’t far off from revealing a nip slip….. oh well perhaps that joyous experience reveals itself another Friday morning. 

I guess my only concern is one of feminine intuition, she studiously takes notes gazing thoughtfully toward the table, but is Clementine aware of piercing eyes gazing through her blouse ‘button down boob gap’? Truly scrumptious, who’d have guessed this phenomenon has a name, I didn’t!

A. Shepherdson 2020

Algorithms & Wonderbra’s

#Tongue ‘firmly’ in cheek.

WordPress Statistics baffle me! How can a post written Sep 2018 be so popular today? 

After 2+ years, 2 blogs and writing 375+ posts A Woman’s Cleavage (a cautionary tale) is my most viewed ever! Bar none! And the past 4 months alone have been 33, 43, 43 and 39 (and still with 4 days to go!)

It’s baffling…. a mystery and I just don’t understand why? Why aren’t ALL my posts THIS popular, what happened to my favourite My neighbour IS a Stripper!

But lol dooo you care?

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Omg! ❤

Screenshot from my blog

I am an occasional reader of Blog statistics, carefully peruse and scrutinize my popularity, it’s a boy thing, numbers matter, size matters I guess God hard wired us that way!🙄

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My work colleague’s Sexy selfies!

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Not Lizzie’s actual selfie, but you get the idea

I KNOW a young lady who posts semi nude photos of herself on the internet, yep Lizzie (for the purposes of this post) shows scantily clad selfies of herself wearing colourful bikinis she’s gonna use on holiday…. and there’s more! You’ll hardly believe this true, but wow she also posts selfies wearing tasteful white lingerie… and you just don’t know how tempted I’ve been to post one…. all in the name of investigative journalism mind you!

However I’ve resisted temptation because posting on my blog is morally reprehensible, no just darn right wrong! Not forgetting revealing her identity could almost certainly get me the sack from work, infringe Copyrights on umpteen social media platforms, and most importantly of all might cause the young woman untold embarrassment.

That’s if she cares of course.

(I haven’t but jeeze I’ve been so tempted if only to prove a point…. honest!)

Let me expand this rather cautionary tale, perhaps it’ll interest you mums with daughters of your own? You see Lizzie works at the same place I do, and that’s all the detail I am going to divulge for obvious reasons, except she’s aged about twenty, an apprentice plumber (or perhaps not) by trade and a rather pretty young lady with I might add a cracking petite figure.

“Well Andrew that’s rather forward of you, isn’t it?”

Now this is where my tale gets really interesting, because a colleague happened across her Instagram account and btw not me! He’s never said how and I’ve never asked why, but I guess if you searched her name on Google, and she owns an Instagram account, then you WILL easily find her….. a cautionary tale indeed. 

Well cutting a short story shorter, the majority of Lizzie’s photos are of pets Grandparents and friends and surprisingly accessible to public viewing (though not all), but there’s more! To my guys astonishment, Lizzie shares full body length photos of herself, captured in her bedroom gazing at her reflection in a mirror with a mobile phone to hand, and yes there are photos of herself wearing bikinis, clubbing outfits and omg white lingerie!

I’m not ashamed to say we men have all viewed her Instagram, it’s been passed around the department like naughty schoolboys sharing porn images with their chums….. btw I’d like to strongly protest that I haven’t downloaded these images.

I haven’t, but here’s the point I could have screenshot her wearing ******* print bikinis, I’d guess some colleagues might have but she’s over 18, they’re public viewing so who’d care if they’re into that kind of thing… and unworried if the wife inspects their mobile phone! 😫

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Well if she were my daughter I’d be concerned

So my question is, does Lizzie suspect we’ve seen these revealing photos, you know wearing her bra and panties? There’s a thought, all I do know is sharing compromising photos on the internet has consequences, nosy guys find them, images get uploaded onto porn sites AND potentially you could see one posted onto a middle aged guy’s WordPress.

MY WP! 🤫 

Jeeze, now wouldn’t that have made for an entertaining read 😂 .

 

A. Shepherdson 2020

An open apology letter to women not wearing bras!

My first (and only) Reblog.

This post has been viewed more than any other on my WordPress, it’s also a (firm) favourite of mine and preludes my up and coming new post titled ‘On the 87th day God created cleavage’.

Btw women’s boobs are both a favourite and reoccurring theme of mine 😀 and always respectfully written. ❤

Blogging Thoughts Photos & Life

‘Strap’ yourselves in this is a LONG one! 😀

Early evening thoughts with MILD adult themes…………. honest and respectful as always (comment if you’ve had your fill of my female sexual observations and objectification of the female human animal’s body)………….. my imagination I fear is out of control 7 o’clock at night, I’m incorrigible, my hardness is excited and twitching hence I write because these posts are fun and keep me interested when WordPress feels a lonely place……… 123 ahhh 😀

Does anyone honestly think this photo below is offensive? 

public-braless-4A question for you, why is the female breast nipple such a big deal for a guy? And I’d agree with you ladies who say nipples shouldn’t be, after all they have one purpose in life to allow a nursing baby to latch onto the breast and drink mum’s milky goodness, big f#cking deal? Then babes grow into healthy toddlers…

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‘Join me on this journey’ into Women’s Bras

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I chose this photograph because She’s a fine looking woman 🙂

‘Not a lot of people know this’ (a Michael Caine quote), but according to WordPress Statistics each and every single week, no less than forty-six occasions throughout this May alone! One particular post written by me June 19 2018 has been viewed from right across the Globe, and studying said statistics as I’m prone to do whenever bored, I can also tell you ‘that post’ is also my most viewed EVER!!!

I’m truly grateful and genuinely humbled btw.

Now I’m neither bragging or showing off, certainly not lauding this my original piece of writing as a gem of modern literature, (f#ck no), in fact I’m rather surprised this one is the most popular of all 190! So after a protracted prolonged build up I can tell you Andrew’s most viewed post is:

‘An open apology to women not wearing bras!’

So there you, in some respects I’m unsurprised a bra post is number one because internet aficionados tell us 90% of internet traffic is sex themed, not to worry though I’m rather chuffed and why not.

Two reasons for this evening’s ‘Blog’. Several day ago the fabulous LA of wakingupthewrongsideof50 noticed a blogging phenomena I’d not really thought about until then, I’ll quote in her own words,

‘Bloggers that gave up quickly: I noticed a pattern among them. Almost every one of them used the phrase “Join me (us) on this journey”. I have now decided that those words are the bloggers kiss of death. If you write these words on your first blog you are not going to survive.

Why?

As I have not done a research study on this, I can only give you my humble (?) opinion. When you use the word “Join” you are specifically writing to an audience. You expect that people will listen. Bad expectation.’

LA’s Join Me on This Journey post has itself become very popular amongst blogging readers because as she goes on to say, ‘anyone who has written for WordPress knows you blog for yourself’, with all your heart and soul you want to be read, to have followers, to be liked, to be commented and replied to, however writing for an audience is not the reason you blog.

Sadly (and yes I genuinely mean sadly) if you set tooo higher expectations of yourself, write with the expectation hundreds of people will read, then I’m afraid this will only make you unhappy because apart from a lucky minority (who work very hard btw) fame and popularity will pass you by. 😦 A sad truth and only ONE of many reasons why you have to write for yourself, though take heart people will eventually read and follow your writing journey.

I said two reasons. I’ll come to said second in a Mo!

I wrote ‘An open apology to women not wearing bras’ (did I tell you this is my most viewed ever?) For no other reason than I had an absolute blast possibly because it’s the type of post that gets me sexually aroused. Anyways I blogged this many months ago and ever since publishing week by week people across the Globe people have viewed (finger’s crossed enjoyed), and if there is a moral to this story then it’s write for yourself, embrace the creative process and whatever transpires is a welcome bonus.

Oh yes reason number two for this evening’s post! Well I have written yet another bra themed tale featuring women’s boobs and cleavage, which in turn gave me the reason idea to reblog ‘An open apology……….’ and why not ablogfromtheuk is my very own WordPress.

Tomorrow: ‘An open apology to women not wearing bras!’

Sunday: ‘On the 87th day God created cleavage.’

A. Shepherdson 2019 

Schoolteacher ‘Crushes’

File this under happy childhood memories, my first true love 🙂 .

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And NO Miss Steer didn’t resemble this cartoon school teacher, a great image though!

A thought just crossed my mind, I’d guess I’m not only person to have fallen in love with their school teacher, no love is tooo emotive a word, sexual infatuation fits better or is experiencing strong feelings towards an adult every child’s first real sexual awakening, a young teenager’s rights of passage have you will?

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Boutique Mannequins modelling underwear (Thursday)

(My apologies for not publishing my NSFW post yesterday, I went out for a lovely meal with three retirees I used to work with so I’ll post another time.)

Thursday 14th of February and of course Valentine’s Day, so if you’ve been following this week’s daily postings you’ll be aware the topic that weaves them all together (well hopefully) is women’s lingerie, jeeze even surprises me how my overactive imagination works sometimes. All good fun 🙂 .

Ok I know I’m a bit odd, stop nodding you’re not supposed to agree! And YES I did take those photographs above earlier this week, “why so Andrew?” Well today I’m asking myself, could a guy be prosecuted for indecent assault, you know if he was to ‘touch up’ a Department Store clothing mannequin when ‘she’s’ wearing sexy underwear? 

No I didn’t but I can’t say I wasn’t tempted!

All this past week after alighting from my commuter bus in the centre of Oxford, I pass these three on the way to work, but because our early mornings are still dark dazzling halogen spotlights almost bring them alive, in fact on the first morning they caught my eye and I had to do a ‘double-take’ they are that realistic……………. I should add being as it’s nearly Valentines Day there are many more displays similar to this, AND what’s with ALL these plastic models being six feet tall, slender and size 8 figures, what’s wrong with size 14 women gifted with child bearing hips and 34DD busts?

Good question no?

So begs the question, in the minds of the window dressers who are they actually trying to appeal to? Is it men so as they’ll buy sweet nothings for their significant other? Or women so that they can wear something sexy to excite and turn their man on? Not forgetting those confused women in lesbian relationships…………… no NO when I say confused I mean they’re both buying for both themselves also their partners……….. phew that was close! And I dare not mention we have skirt wearing Transsexuals at my place of work.

(I’m saying absolutely nothing, be true unto yourself that’s what I say)

So now I’m wondering can a sexy lingerie wearing shop mannequin ever be considered indecent? I’m absolutely convinced many Muslim men will find those three ‘women’ pictured above offensive, recently London Underground had to remove posters of models wearing brassieres because questions had been asked, I’d guess there’d been a social media sh#t storm or women’s Groups had asked why women’s bodies were being sexually objectified?…………. Jeez goodness knows what feminists would make of some of the posts on this blog.

However readers should be aware by now I adore women and am also a feminist, heavens we even have female engineering apprentices at work and why not, the days of girls only doing sewing and cookery at school and boys doing metalwork are long gone, and as it should be. Being serious for a second, and note I have addressed this topic before, #MeToo has changed Britain for the better because I’ve noticed men take a great deal more care with their language opinions and banter when around women.

Where was I? Oh yes me earlier today standing in the entrance to Debenhams department store taking photographs, I double checked to see no one was watching but no doubt I was being watched by their CCTV cameras, and I’ve just had a thought that’ll be twice now! (long story) So no I didn’t touch these three tasty plastic models up but they didn’t half look sexy, I guess that answer’s my earlier question doesn’t it, that women’s lingerie is purchased for their partner’s enjoyment…………… yes?

Discuss 😀 .

Before I leave you, this’ll be the first Valentine’s Day in 58 years that my dad hasn’t purchased a loving card for my mum 😦 . Isn’t memory robbing dementia is a wicked medical condition, I doubt he has any comprehension of what being married actually means? I’d guess in his own little world mum is now just a person who is always around the house at his ‘beck and call’, all terribly sad.

Anyways just so as to redress any perceived sexist imbalance, there’s not this is just for fun, but if anyone is unhappy here’s a photo whether you be straight or gay.

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Now I’m not gay but he is pretty fit!!!

Happy Valentine’s Day.

 

A. Shepherdson 2019

‘That sacred spot of blissful heaven’ (Erotic Monday)

If you’ve happened to read yesterday’s post, you’ll know all the five days this week I am writing a tale flash fiction or whatever on the theme of women’s lingerie, don’t ask why perhaps I’m just odd that way……………….. incidentally the ‘publishing’ sequence has changed, or in other words that’s the story of my WordPress. 

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Laying beside Karolina two Saturdays ago I don’t think I’ve felt happier in a long while, my lady’s aged 50 and extremely passionate, an amusing conversationalist if a little hard to follow as she’s from Poland, but not to worry she’s an extremely sexy lady, in fact my idea of a dream woman, and I know having a lady stick her tongue deep inside your mouth while kissing sounds a little ahem icky! But it really is sensuous and divine.

So where are we two aged lovers to be found? Me a fifty something who wears glasses when having sex, also Karolina with her dodgy knee that locks up meaning she has to clamber off the bed to give creaking joints a stretch! No arthritis just ‘ole mother time’ creeping up and don’t you find older women are more grateful of a guys romantic advances, not desperate for attention, no just content to be loved for who they are, no spring chicken and all, oh and fucked hard by a guy who prefers his sexual animal to be a woman of more mature years.

Where are we? Inside a Travelodge Inn alongside a busy A34 dual carriageway, a bedroom to be more exact, I’d guess American’s would call this establishment a Motel for lonely individuals driving monotonous ashen gray motorways in need of a cheap place to sleep of a night.

Our room is in pitch darkness apart from a shaft of bright light shining from the wardrobe bathroom, the temperature’s boiling as Motels often are and Karolina’s laying on our bed gazing at the ceiling with me close by her side, so close I’m all but cuddling with my body touching hers from my chest to my toes, snuggled in tightly, my six inch hardened dick resting atop her thigh and bucking bouncing off her skin to the beat of a drum, physiologically connected to the blood pumping through my heart.

Yes I do love her, my arm resting on her tummy a hand slipped inside her burgundy panties, the same exact colour as a good claret of wine. I’m not looking at her lingerie briefs though with two digit fingers gently sliding back and forth through the parted lips of her wet kitty, sweeter than wine and bare of all pubic hair but for a small stubbly patch on her mons pubis, lol there’s a medical term you don’t hear often! 

So do I miss that teenage pubic bush weeded out over the ravages of time? They’re kinda fun to run finger’s through or admire in the shower, a mop of brunette coloured hair dripping and wet.

With my fingertips doing all the talking below, my gaze is drawn to Karolina’s chest raising with every breath sipped in, two high round breasts nestling beneath her claret shaded bra cups, with its swirling patterns of lace matching the panties and my busy fingers inside, but hold on subconsciously my sexually aroused mind has control of my fingers without me knowing, playing a fiddle all by their own now pressed against her clit and dragging her intimate skin in small circles, the curtains of her labia lips now drawn tightly closed.

Then faintly audible to my ear, hardly noticeable within our church hushed boudoir, I heard the quietist whisper you ever did hear, Karolina with her eyes tightly closed, purred a softly spoken,

“Oh My God!”

Do you know if I’d cleared my throat or been distracted by noise outside I would have missed it!

She quiet startled me actually though not a muscle in my body responded to Karolina’s almost joyous incredulity, with my imagination pricked alive I suddenly realised my circling fingertips had touched a spot so sacred, nerve endings so excited by pleasure giving chemicals flooding her brain, a cocktail altering her mind, that for those few two seconds in time Karolina had been whisked to a blissful heaven itself.

(……………. and tomorrow, “Holy crap I’m on the bra and knickers Floor!”)

©A. Shepherdson 2019

 

An open apology letter to women not wearing bras!

‘Strap’ yourselves in this is a LONG one! 😀

Early evening thoughts with MILD adult themes…………. honest and respectful as always (comment if you’ve had your fill of my female sexual observations and objectification of the female human animal’s body)………….. my imagination I fear is out of control 7 o’clock at night, I’m incorrigible, my hardness is excited and twitching hence I write because these posts are fun and keep me interested when WordPress feels a lonely place……… 123 ahhh 😀

Does anyone honestly think this photo below is offensive? 

public-braless-4

A question for you, why is the female breast nipple such a big deal for a guy? And I’d agree with you ladies who say nipples shouldn’t be, after all they have one purpose in life to allow a nursing baby to latch onto the breast and drink mum’s milky goodness, big f#cking deal? Then babes grow into healthy toddlers having benefitted from the nourishment natural milk brings, AND yet still in 2018 breast nipples visible in public are a big issue with guys (me as well)…………………… but then you ladies ALREADY know this!

I fear all men at heart are really bigger versions of immature juvenile adolescents, and over the past 35 years I’ve worked with many immature juvenile adults who sadly objectify the women’s body BUT are women equally as bad…………. that’s a whole different blog post!

Returning to breast nipples! 

Yes nipples for a guy are a big deal, however hard I try I cannot stop myself from noticing when either in the company of a braless woman, or looking when passing a young lady in the street who’s taken the brave and courageous decision (an awful statement but I fear they have) to go ‘free’ beneath her tightfitting orange tee shirt, as happened with the young lady Friday afternoon as she passed me in Oxford High Street……….. a heavenly vision of a naturel wonderment she was.

So to you Miss, and I know you wont be reading this silly blog post, but if you did I must apologise if I made you feel uncomfortable as I stared at your breasts bouncing and jiggling as you briskly walked along the pavement, I gazed for rather a long time I know, more than is appropriate, my defence is their perky exquisite shape was female perfection personified (note as are all ladies breasts are), yes I felt a little ashamed afterwards 😦 .

(Yes a little. And note this uncontroversial post will make sense by the finish)

I’m lol aware I’m afflicted and note from a respectful appropriate distance, I realise I have a boob obsession I’m going to seek medical help (I’m not but it’s a great line!) But then hasn’t God evolution and mother nature left all mankind gloriously captivated by these wonderous milky goodies……….. and yes I realise God and Darwinist theories of evolution are not happy bedfellows.

Guilty as charged, every lady I’ve ever been lucky enough to watch undress before we consummate, the second she takes her bra off I go weak at the knees and near pass out and I’m not joking for effect!

So returning to my Oxford lady wearing the orange tee shirt yes I’m guilty as charged for being utterly transfixed by her nipples perhaps made more prominent by the cold wind breezing down Oxford High Street……….. and being absolutely serious for a second I think my gaze made her feel uncomfortable and yes I am sorry because well………. I’m guilty of bullying! ……………………….. (But lol she smiled at me so all’s good 🙂 )

Honest of me to admit this don’t you think? Or are any female readers shaking their heads thinking to themselves this is the reason I never ever leave the house without first strapping those two ‘droopy girls’ into a medieval torture device, with sharp underwires that chafe the skin, made red and sore by a garment they cannot wait to fling off when first returning home so uncomfortable is the bra to wear.

Now seems as good a place as any to share a video I first watched months ago, the truth is I wanted to share a female’s perspective and Sophie’s video is well very very good. I’ve asked her permission which is right and proper and click ‘here’ for a link to Sophie’s YouTube ‘here’ for her Twitter (btw I do not Tweet!), Incidentally she’s a Vegan activist, guru to minimalist living and zero waste, practices Yoga and Pilates all very intriguing don’t you think? 

Sophie’s Video 🙂

Interesting watching wasn’t it, are you convinced and now for the rest of my breast nipple post!

(Depending on how this post fairs I have further posts themed breast implants and bra designs in draft………… btw you should SEE the content I have in draft lol I’d be shut down but NOTE I never ever show inappropriate photos on my blog!

But breasts are essential aren’t they, beautiful and however juvenile and adolescent you may think men are for looking, I’m afraid we’re utterly transfixed by a woman’s pointy hard nipples made evermore prominent with thin cotton fabric draping over their shape.

So what’s to do? What’s the answer and I would rather controversially suggest bras should be banned and made illegal, women should be fined prosecuted and sent to bra prison until they learn the error of their ways, instructed to comply with Laws that say wearing such a useless garment is well just plain wrong!

Hmm on reflection perhaps that’s a touch controversial…….. well perhaps :/ more than a touch?

Oh yes where was I? Nipples! Keep on-message.

But hold on perhaps if every woman lived her daily life as God intended, their body free of a garment designed to hide the nipple from men’s gaze, because that’s all I see they are because I’m reliably assured breasts become firmer, tendons become stronger when no longer constrained confined and unnaturally shaped by ill fitting bra cups as Marks & Spencer’s reliably says YOU are!

thRR9EV72QIf every woman went braless then perhaps nipples wouldn’t be the novelty for men they presently are?

Picture left is a Googled image btw, both are!!

Because Britain is gloriously in the midst of a warm humid summer heatwave, on three separate occasions this week I’ve seen a woman in Oxford braless beneath her dress AND for my sins I can picture all three, yes a sad fact to admit but I can visually recall all err sixes shape bounce jiggle and prominent nipple, I take my proverbial hat off to the ladies having the guts to go au naturel because the unwanted attention from wandering male gazes must be near unbearable a sad fact of life but I fear the way God made us.

I’ll leave this rather light hearted post brimming full of uncontroversial slightly male chauvinistic observations with one final anecdote.

As a male child of age thirteen, a coming of age in a young man’s life lol, I remember first visiting the South of France for our summer holiday, and until my dying day I’ll never forget my first day visiting the sandy beach affront of a warm Mediterranean sea. Unforgettable not for being my first time there, no astonishing because the thought hadn’t ever crossed my mind that back in the 1980’s virtually every woman enjoying the sun sea and sand wouldn’t be wearing a bikini top!

Unbelievable incredible, I remember I thought I’d died and gone to heaven but importantly this day was before the internet, pre YouTube, digital cameras were a pipe dream, these were the days a woman could get her tits out knowing for certain their photo wouldn’t become a viral image and shared around the world? These were the days before home PC’s, hard-drives and picture folders, years before adult websites we’re informed drive internet content, no back in the 80’s a woman could take her bra off in the perfect knowledge no one cared apart from teenage boys………. oh and their dad’s!

Hmm thinking about it, that virtually covers all male mankind.

But here’s a thing! After lol an hour or so the novelty of first seeing a woman’s boobs passed by, truthfully and I’ve mentally run this thought many times, after one hour of incredulous staring women’s unfettered boobs became a perfectly natural ‘jiggling pendulous’ sight, and I guess by the end of the day on the beach breasts had near lost their sexual appeal (well nearly). Bare breasts had honestly become accepted as the new normality, no longer a big deal and in fact a woman would have appeared out of place odd and unusual if she HAD been wearing a bikini top!

Unbelievable I know, but if you’d been bathing on that beach however a prim proper classy sophisticated ‘good girl’ you are, oh yes your tits would be a swinging, the cool air sea breezes making your nipples go hard and pointy…………….. that’s ENOUGH Andrew!!

😀

So there you are, controversial opinions I know, but if bras were banned and everywoman enjoyed life free of this ridiculous garment, her shoulder tendons would be stronger, there wouldn’t be these unfounded irresponsible theories of bra’s being connected to cancer (I’m here to tell you they exist controversial or not and I think they’re wrong but what do I know) AND men wouldn’t notice the jiggle! Then I can assure you the sight of prominent nipples as with my Oxford lady in orange tight fitting tee shirt, would become the new norm and perfectly acceptable and yes no longer a big deal!

So have I convinced you to bin your bra yet? 

©A. Shepherdson 2018.