The song I’d choose as my favourite theme music

I think I’ll even have this played at my funeral!

My favourite blogger LA likes to play a game on Friday’s, today she proposed an intriguing brain teaser, a brain twister have you will, which song would I choose for my personal theme tune? Interestingly (for me) the first thought flooding my mind (less than 5 seconds) was Monty Python’s ‘Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life’, yes played before the final credits to ‘Life Of Brian’, a thought provoking magnificent film ridiculing organised religions for being, well, ridiculous! Oh and quite probably one of the finest must watch films ever made………………………… only wish they’d had the nerve to make ‘Life Of Mohammed’ and lampoon Islam, lol bloggers have been beheaded for making statements like that 😀 and I’m not joking.

Anyways not to worry….. why not just listen and contemplate the brilliant lyrics.

Do you want a dictionary definition? Well if you look on the bright side you’re trying to remain cheerful when faced with a bad situation, offset life’s awfulness by convincing yourself things cannot get much worse so making you feel just that little bit better, or thinking life isn’t as bad as it could have been. Hmm.

As in the past Friday games nights, I’m ignoring some of the rules for this tune isn’t a B side, no it’s probably one of the most recognisable movie songs ever penned, people who don’t take life tooo seriously even play Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life at their funerals and I think I just might!

You have to agree with me life cannot get much worse than if you’re nailed to a Cross but like these troubled times we live in, you just have to try for what’s the alternative? You give up that’s what, but however down and depressed you feel, what an earth is the point to giving up? None at all because remember we all have friends and loved ones who rely on us, to be there when they need us, yes I could quit on life but who would look after my mother if I was gone? No one! And that’s a completely honest answer because looking after my mum in her old age will define my life for however long she is with me………………………. oh and I don’t live with her because she’d drive me around the frigging bend!

A. Shepherdson 2020

Impulsiveness isn’t an attractive quality

Read my Blog 🙂 , like comment Follow or unfollow it’s all good with me babes, we’re all winging it blah blah blah lol…..

I enjoy an hour or so creating a Blog, whatever happens (or doesn’t) soon after publishing is immaterial because I’ve been happy with the product of my mental gymnastics now in print, and that’s my only explanation? Anyways, I’m very pleased I’d disabled the comments, I’m happy a few people liked my musings it’s all fine with me, we should always be pleased knowing that 🙂 . As an aside, I’ll honestly switch on my PC without an idea of what I’ll write about…… sorry that’s a lie! If I’m ‘feeling hard’ and sexually aroused then it’ll be a sexually themed posting. True.

One favour perhaps don’t comment this particular post, I’m rather embarrassed with my recent (erratic) behavior, as an aside I’ll never be as popular as the women I follow lol , but hey that’s life, “suck it up buttercup!”

I’m emotionally struggling with the after tremors from this pandemic, so badly at times it hurts, my family is (really) struggling, you are struggling, f*** we’re ALL emotionally struggling trying to cope with the uncertainty and fall-out from this awful *****-19, a word that’ll never appear on this Blog again. Whether that be employment schooling or simply wondering if you’ll catch it shopping at the supermarket, there isn’t a human being walking this planet who isn’t YES struggling to adapt to a new way of living their lives…… the tragedy is the strongest will survive and the weakest will fall by the wayside, and that’s upsetting.

Perhaps the saying “live each day as if your last”, that firm favourite your wise old Grandmother used to teach you, has never been more truthful relevant also applicable…… hang in there people or is that just glib and trite?

I think I now understand what having a woman’s period feels like, (not the whinging and whining and persistent complaining), nope, because one day I’m happy to be alive the next I’m well…….., and just so as you know lol, as my Grandfather used to jokingly amusingly chide me as a child, “you’ll never kill yourself Andrew because you change your mind to often”. On reflection what a strange thing to say to a youthful teenager in jest? Then again perhaps it’s a clever re affirmation, reminding me that acting in haste is NEVER EVER a good idea.

Different times? (I miss mum’s dad everyday of my life).

One of my less admirable (attractive) character traits is impulsiveness I’m only relieved no blogger replied to my ridiculous ‘The End’ posting (I’d be tooo embarrassed to write today’s). I published late evening before turning into bed, and yes I regretted severing all ties very early the next morning. Firstly the posting didn’t need writing, secondly, as always I’ll share ‘whatever’s on my mind’ at the time, and if people enjoy fabulous, but if there’s indifference that’s also fine……….. blah blah blah 😀

It’s worth remembering, swiftly composed emails impulsively forwarded has ‘kinda’ gotten me into hot water in the past, luckily none have gotten me the sack but several in my lifetime I have regretted. Open the pages of any tabloid newspaper and you’ll read stories of a thoughtless unlucky celeb’s whining’s getting them in hot water, or a disgruntled high powered company executive’s anger getting them the sack. Both either stupid and reckless or tooo honest for their own good (though character revealing all the same), both individuals who’d impulsively written a controversial perhaps racist sexist email, the consequences to be regretted for the rest of their life. Perhaps a ‘two faced’ Tweet? Perhaps accidentally sending honest thoughts, because all our draft folders contain feelings also opinions that should never EVER be seen by another soul, luckily I’ve not yet asked Helen the secretary for a pair of her recently worn, sweaty used panties……… holy f*** I think that one actually exists!

Moral of the story, stay clear of social media/email when you’re upset or annoyed and never forward your thoughts in haste or you may repent at leisure, nope sleep on the draft, because the following morning a fresh clear mind’s clarity on re-reading will quite literally send cold hivers down your spine. I’ve been there (no not asking for women’s ‘dirty’ underwear), no the following day in a state, my heart pounding and thumping, I’ve I had to contact two work colleagues asking them to delete ‘the’ email, but each time they laughed which reveals I guess the fact they like me and know what I’m like, hmm that’s interesting yet frigging dangerously risky!

(Can asking for a female colleague’s worn knickers get someone the sack?)

What have I learnt about myself this past week on-line? I enjoy writing creating being on silly old WordPress, perhaps a little tooo much. I’m as impulsive as ever, (then again impetuous ‘written on a whim’ abandon has found me in bed with a woman I’ve been chatting to on-line these past few days, a devilish spontaneity has gotten me laid………) where was I, oh yes writing whatever is yes an enjoyable pastime.

Blah blah blah, lol read reply comment which ever it’s all good because either through talent or WordPress’s algorithms, I have never been so popular? for the seventh month on the trot my views have kept increasing? WTF? IT’S A BOY THING! Statistics numbers and lol dick lengths size matters! (Yep without fail when I gaze down at my aroused ‘hard as rock’ stiff penis, I imagine to myself ‘just think Andrew how deep inside a woman’s vagina you’ve been’ and that makes me either a mysogenist but definitely weird and truly happy, true anecdote).

The moral of today’s post. In everyday life, act in haste and you’ll repent at leisure.

On a final note there’ll be another posting next weekend (or tomorrow or whenever or lol next month? All good fun.)

A. Shepherdson 2020

(Sigh) I’m done!

Do you ever wake in the morning and just lay in bed staring at the ceiling and think to yourself ‘what’s the ******* point in getting up?’ Yes No? You’re only gonna log on to your laptop to be instantly faced with your browser’s personalised? newsfeed. Selected news stories that are truly upsetting, heart wrenching sad tales of personal tragedy, the ones where you think to yourself ‘there but for the grace of god go I’….. what’s more how did I upset my internet provider to deserve this unending stream of heart breaking near unimageable stories of human suffering, we know life’s unfair but people just don’t deserve to have their families ripped apart………. and what’s more tomorrow it could be you!

These are the reasons I don’t believe in Gods especially Muhammed and hate-filled Islam if I’m completely honest (write that in a blog and one demented extremist might find you), the reasons why I’m atheist and at peace with my choice. Lol please don’t ever stop me in the street and say “Jesus loves you”, don’t because I just might tell you to shove your nonsense or totally lose my ****! (That’s unless you’re a beautiful lady, then I’ll meekly reply “thankyou” whilst gazing longingly at your tits and thinking to myself ‘so what percentage of women don’t bother wearing panties?’) Cause I’m shallow like that. What’s more when I walk past that guy selling selling Christian pamphlets in Oxford’s city Centre, I honestly stare at him thinking to myself ‘you deluded man, shouldn’t you be handing out that nonsensical rubbish out for free, isn’t that what Jesus would have done?

Then again perhaps I should buy a few copies and then when I run out of toilet paper again, I can remove the sharp staples and use them to wipe my ass.

Living is pain depression suffering and ultimately pointless, you reach the end of your own personal journey then die hopefully knowing you’ve contributed to this beautiful planet’s ultimate destruction. Life is a simple matter of climbing out of bed, dragging your broken spirit through the day and if you’re completely truthful with yourself, hoping today will be your final day on earth……… lol now that’s cheered you up 😀 !

I really am a nice guy (hopefully seen as likeable) and yes capable of love also an empathy which makes living so emotionally draining, witnessing other people’s pain affects me deeply making me feel so unhappy…… jeeze the question of ‘does happiness really exist’ is a whole other posting and thankfully you’ll never read my opinions.

And what of this silly little blog I’ve enjoyed creating content for? (Not the reason for writing this posting btw, the prompt was six innocent human beings going about their daily business, only to die stabbed to death my two separate asylum seekers……….. and these people don’t understand why British people dislike them, and is our police force racist? Honestly? I would say they’re good men and women doing a thankless job, much the same as Doctors and Nurses.)

Enough politics, it is what it is 😦 , anyways I’m gonna have a shower then walk up to my mother’s for a natter, lol she’s the most positive person I know so she’ll soon (verbally) shake me out of my bad mood.

A. Shepherdson 2020

Me (Andrew) aged 18 years

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This is me aged 18 a young fresh faced engineering apprentice, cheeky and smiling the photograph having been taken at work by my apprentice trainer, why an earth he was taking my photograph God only knows?…………… I’m wondering is he still with us? A great guy.

Big sigh, I gaze at this photo and think to myself ‘where an earth have those thirty four years gone?’ I look at my cheeky grin and wonder ‘which of my young friends am I looking across at?’ I can remember for certain feeling embarrassed and someone close by was making some sort of funny comment………. happy days I’m so pleased I discovered this photo as for a full head of hair I’m saying nothing!

I know it’s been a while but for the first time in many months I’m happy, not so depressed and feeling positive about life because Britain appears to be reopening for business, yesterday my Boss phoned to say I may be unfurloughed and return to work Monday Morning! Fingers crossed and there’ll be a posting from there for sure.

After ten weeks of legally enforceable home detention, only a single days exercise to purchase groceries from the Supermarket, perhaps the occasional illegal visit to my mother’s for a natter and shared cup of tea, yes due to unexpected political reasons Britain is rushing out of lockdown. You may be aware last weekend our Government completely trashed it’s corona virus health policy just so as to save one political advisor, the name of Dominic Cummings might ring a bell, all I can add is this very obnoxious arrogant Machiavellian civil servant MUST be deemed so important as to justify offending the entire nation and we really are angry. Never again will Johnson be able to call on the public to make sacrifices and follow his clear health instructions, with one lie all trust and compliance disappeared in the space of hours, so now we know, rules are made for us little people to follow yet are there to be broken by the ruling elite, but isn’t that the way it’s always been?

Military Generals strategize and plan their war campaigns, but it’s only the Privates who die in the trenches, time to move on, open schools and universities, get people back to work earning money and to be honest I’m not tooo disappointed, it’s all a question of expectations and in hindsight I’d never have expected Cummings to obey the Law anyway.

Google ‘Dominic Cummings broke the rules’ if you’re intrigued, then again I wouldn’t bother.

I’ll be completely honest, as I always am on this WordPress, the first thought crossing my mind after attaching this picture of my 18 year old self was err sex! Unsurprisingly my first hypothetical question to female (or lol male) readers is, if you met this guy way back in the day 1983/4 might you have slept with this young virgin? Lol don’t answer but just so as you know this pleasant anxious guy had many issues about his looks also low self esteem to such a point he never got laid until many years later, 123 ahhhh. What plays on my mind lol today and after many recent liaisons with older women, I’m feeling disheartened because I remember opportunities presented themselves on certain evenings out say no more, and occasional readers to this Blog might already be aware (they won’t so humour me) just might remember I hadn’t yet masturbated myself to orgasm still at age 18! I know unbelievable or what!

All I can add is we lived in different more innocent times, I’m the product of a school with appalling sex education policies because incredible as it may sound to some, I hadn’t yet worked out how to use my penis properly more’s the point like most people I guess I can’t say I was overly concerned. Yes I’d purchased a second hand copy of ‘Penthouse magazine’ from my friend ‘Paul Suker’, money and pornographic contraband exchanging hands one sports afternoon in the school gymnasium changing rooms, but and this still makes me angry today ( 😀 ) just imagine the years of pleasurable me time I’d missed out on? Am I unique or were many other girls and boys of the 70s equally as naïve?

Anyways back in the good old days and yes they were, sex was rarely spoken about and MOST DEFINITLEY content WASN’T as readily accessible as now……….. just imagine my 1980s TV had 3 Channels and one of those was the BBC and if ‘auntie Beeb’ ever made the cardinal sin of showing a pair of naked female breasts on screen, questions WOULD have been asked in The Houses of Parliament, I kid you not, ‘The Viewers and Listeners Society’ that powerful 1970’s self appointed moral compass of the nation would have cited obscenity laws and executive BBC heads might have rolled.

I’m of an older generation you see (I’m old) I’d yet to use a computer for the first time, the internet and www were the stuff of science fiction films and possibly a day dream eureka moment sparking Steve Jobs imagination, as of this very moment I could google ‘naked woman’, press return and well you get the idea, yes I’d kissed girls but as yet never consensually groped let alone sex. The photo above brings back so many returning memories, break times of listening to fellow apprentice dating tales (or bs stories who knows), secondhand lurid accounts of fingering girlfriends the evening before and yes young men spare few details in close company, hmm… I guess that’s how unfortunate young ladies garner a ‘bad’ reputation, then again I have a sense girls are NO different when chatting amongst friends.

Anyways moving on!

I discovered the above photograph whilst clearing out my spare room, thirty plus years have passed by for heavens sake, and gazing at my youthful cheeky grinned self again I can remember this moment snapped in time as if yesterday, in hindsight I don’t lol think I was such a bad looking young man, perhaps if I’d been a little more cavalier on our apprentice nights out together, not been as shy also blessed with the self confidence and silver tongues possessed by several colleagues, looking back I know I passed on opportunities (judge me), you don’t need reminding thoughts of sex cross a young mans imagination once every 3 minutes. Back in the day at breaktimes, we fifteen used to sit on a wall outside the apprentice training college and watch attractive young women walk past, and whether you ‘men hating lesbian feminists’ agree with me or not, these young women adored the admiring looks and good natured attention. Happy days.

Err not the posting I’d intended to write, but not to worry sooon I might be back at work which makes me very happy 🙂 . 

A. Shepherdson 2020

My Toolbox, only trouble is… it’s at Work!

‘Working for a living adds purpose to life and a reason to get out of bed every weekday morning’

After 6 weeks of lockdown (legally enforced home detention) I’m sooo mind numbingly bored, the day to day tedium of eating and sleeping, one daily walk, perhaps masturbating, and living on my own is draining me of all spirit and enthusiasm to live, I’m NOT necessarily complaining mind, because we’re all fed up with these COVID-19 restrictions, all upset by tragic heart wrenching News stories that test our emotional resilience, to such a point many of us no longer watch the horror and limit our exposure just so as to remain sane! 

If truth be told I’m missing my workplace, I long for the social interaction with colleagues, to see their friendly faces, listen to amusing tales and funny stories, share anecdotes and gossip about who’s alledgidly having an affair (I work in a large institution where gossip is everywhere!) I’m missing the comradery and banter nurtured over the many years we’ve worked together, I miss chatting about yesterday’s soccer matches, putting the world’s to rights, complaining about Management and yes social interaction with female secretaries or admiring (18+) shapely ‘girly’ students……. those f###ing filthy Chinese and their disgusting insanitary non existent food hygiene habits have a lot to answer for!

(Or was covid released from a Lab?)

Yes I’m increasingly frustrated but most of all I’m harbouring feelings of rage, angry at these disgusting b******* who’ve robbed good decent people of their paid occupations, changed lives forever, and tragically so many people have lost relatives before their natural time, such a needless waste of life and heartbreakingly avoidable……. And yes I’ll freely admit to having walked past Asians and felt like voicing my anger, giving them a piece of my mind, of course I don’t but I understand why these people are being racially abused, and yes I felt terribly sorry for the Nottingham Chinese lady who was doused with hot coffee by abusive van drivers, yes unfair and uncalled for, but I understand the reasons why.

Why? Because whatever happens after this pandemic is over our lives will never be the same as before, those experts telling you how life will change are lying because no one knows how this will end, but be sure of one thing IT will end!

As usual my stream of consciousness has strayed.

The reason for this posting was an excuse to share a short video my workbench, the reasons why I filmed easy to explain simply because I’d been ‘test driving’ my new smart phone camera……. but watching once again I miss my workbench terribly, between the hours of 7.30am-4.30pm I’ll use those hand tools throughout the day, I’ve sat at this bench 5 days a week for the past 15 years, I’m comfortable relaxed and at ease with the world when I’m making parts or putting kit together, I know my way around these tool chests so well, and lol rather sadly, I can instinctively choose the correct required tool to such a point you could blindfold me and I’ll find whatever you ask for.

I miss my toolboxes so much so it actually hurts, now I’m wondering if those 3 bananas are still there!

(Having said all OF that I can’t say as I miss my boss 😀 )

Photographs taken (by me) from within my place of work, technically I shouldn’t be publishing them but after carefully scanning I can’t see anything tooo incriminating.

So now I’m wondering post pandemic will I ever work again?

 

A. Shepherdson 2020

Age 16-54 years unbroken Employment

The reason for this post is? Thinking aloud that’s all, idle thoughts🙂…… I’m neither whinging or feeling sorry for myself, employment is my choice to make and I know how lucky I really am.

Now just so as you know I’m NOT complaining, ok! I’m one of the lucky few to be in full time secure employment, for now, let’s see what horrors Brexit hopefully doesn’t have in store because, well there are good reasons why high European import taxes may effect my employer’s profitability, perhaps Brexit uncertainty is the reason for my unhappiness or perhaps there are darker reasons? Anyways that’s enough introspection for present…. perhaps there’ll be further thoughts to follow.

I awake every weekday morning at 5.45am, I battle a commuter 45minute bus journey to work, then work from 7.30am to 4.30pm, come late afternoon I battle an even longer return commuter journey home, only to walk through my front door at 5.30 evening time……. lol the same routine 40 weeks a year as I have done since age 16 years, but like I said I’m so very fortunate because a great many people don’t have paid employment and I’m FOREVER reminding myself how lucky I really am, but 16-54 years for heaven’s sake 😀 perhaps I should have changed carreers at age 30? Perhaps I’d be happier if I was married, then again blogger Skinny and Single said to me, “be careful what you wish for”.

Two videos this evening, me operating a metal turning lathe another featuring my workbench, the very same bench I first stood before 10 lol years ago.

Incidentally I’m NOT complaining, I enjoy my job and the 12 hours of my life everyday is worth it, pay’s the bills…… but what’s life all about, I mean what an earth is the meaning of life? I guess love your family also as much sex as you can find seems about right.

 

After re reading, the word ‘perhaps’ doesn’t half feature a lot, night all.

A. Shepherdson 2020

Power cut!

Back in the day I was a Boy Scout. What’s more did you know their motto is ‘be prepared’? …. Oh and what do you think of my novelty ‘Pac man’ alarm clock down below, the electronic synthesiser near gives me a frigging heart attack every morning!

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Btw I make my own wax Candles……… purchased a kit from Amazon 10 years ago!

So there I was 8 o’clock yesterday evening, seated in a comfy living room chair, laptop precariously balanced on my knee happily paging Amazon listings (new shoes), when ‘all of a sudden’ my home went pitched black dark! What’s more the freezer’s ‘humming’ electric motor stopped, as did trickling water circulating my radiators… for once there was light, moments later I was sat in confusion and eerie silence!

Yep the neighbourhood had suffered a power cut.

(And this is why I’m the guy who HATES sudden surprises). 

Now disorientated, that iconic phrase ‘What The F#ck’ ringing about my ears, only then did I appreciate the full horror of blindness, all spatial awareness and sense of direction disappeared as I stumbled myself to the kitchen, pulled unit draws open, rummaged for a torch, matches, and racked my brains trying to remember if I had candles! 

We merrily live through our days following time honoured routines, then some unforeseen event spins our lives into befuddlement confusion or worse, lol it’s not the end of the world but how does a guy manage to pee straight if he can’t see the toilet pan?

Yep times like these it’s the simple things in life that matter…. like owning a TORCH!

So the moral to my tale is, listen to your Scoutmaster and ‘be prepared’.

 

A. Shepherdson 2020

 

Eavesdropping on Girls Talk

We ALL listen into stranger’s conversations………… don’t we?

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A question for you, why are women’s conversations so darn interesting?

I am a people watcher by nature, I was going to write aren’t we all? But I know for a fact some people are so self absorbed they are oblivious to what goes on around them, perhaps a little unfair of me. So yes guilty as charged I can’t help watching people go about their normal lives, nothing creepy mind it’s just that if you find human nature fascinating well you have to observe! Oh and I should qualify that statement with I have a terrible habit for eavesdropping, perhaps an unsavoury character trait but if you’re going to chat to your friend about sexually transmitted diseases, then what’s a guy to do except listen in?

I really can’t help myself however I’m far from blameless in fact I blame this new phenomenon of telling the world your private business fairly and squarely on mobile phones! I can stand next to someone in a bus queue and they’ll happily chat about their lives to a friend consequently I’ve become very attuned to conversations going on around me, and I’ve heard some corkers when sitting on the bus enduring the awful evening commute out of Oxford. But what’s to do? For some unknown reason people seem totally comfortable having intimate mobile phone conversations out loud, however the eavesdropper only hears half the conversation so has to fill in the pauses while the other person answers, but don’t you think eavesdropping is just human nature?

(I’m not a gossip though, oh no tell me a secret in confidence and my lips are sealed)

Recently I overheard a lady explaining to a friend on the phone, how she’d just left a solicitor’s office after a meeting with her ex husband, a guy she described in these glowing terms,

“Thankfully I’ll never have to see his stupid little face ever again”, you get the idea they were divorcing.

I should add the half of the conversation I was listening to was the lady gleefully taking her ex hubby to the proverbial cleaners, the alimony, the furniture, the house she got the lot! Although she had to give him a token lump sum, and by the time she’d hung up I both felt sorry for the poor guy and thanked my lucky stars I am single! Mind you she had a pleasant well spoken voice and a personality you could call ‘bitchy’ but then again she was divorcing an ex hubby so perhaps her attitude was understandable……………….. 😀 hmm do I really want to ever marry?

I’ve lost count of the shear number of Court case conversations I’ve eavesdropped on, you see our County’s Crown Court (second highest Court in the land) resides in the city I commute out of, consequently all I can imagine is people leaving Court at 4pm are SO excited and intellectually stimulated, or are so frigging relieved, they jump on the bus, whip out their mobile and tell friends mothers or girlfriends what went on in Court and the outcome of the case, and again I fill in the gaps. I’ve overheard defendants discuss their knife crimes, wounding, robbery convictions and often accompanied with foul language, not forgetting drug abuse and all absolutely staggering conversations so much more entertaining than reading tabloid newspapers, or soap operas on the TV (I don’t watch TV!) Btw I’m not joking the stories I have heard!!

I’ve also overheard conversations that are so sad and upsetting, bare in mind they’re impossible not to overhear, perhaps when someone sits in their comfy Italian leather reclining seat they’re totally aware the person in the seat behind can hear every word? The other week a young woman from the seat in front of me was chatting to her mother in tears, letting her heart out as daughters do explaining how she could no longer afford the mortgage payments on her house and other bills, and by the time I’d descended the double decker stairs to get off believe me when I tell you 20minutes of sadness and upset had left me in bits. I almost felt like giving the young lady a gift of money (but is that patronising to admit), I’ve even felt guilty that I am lucky to be relatively well off!

I don’t know some people seem do get the rough end of life, so far I haven’t, but I’m afraid I’m unsure I could emotionally handle having my life turned upside down? Perhaps the consequence for my timidity is I’m a guy who doesn’t take a risk……. is still single…… a little unhappy lol.

The most entertaining eavesdrop I’ve had by far lol was again sitting on a bus! A jaw dropping tale where the girl behind who was retelling lurid stories of her slutty behaviour while being on holiday with friends in some Spanish holiday resort, fabulously entertaining that was! You’ll get the gist when I say she was a ‘sleep all day, drink party and sex all night girl’, well turns out she’d slept with a different guy every SINGLE night, good for her, you’re a long time dead!

Jeeze I was so envious………… why didn’t I go to Spain in my twenties? 😀

(Btw I’ll skip the conversation where three girls were comparing their shopping purchases and discussing the pitfalls of wearing bras that are tooo small……………….. honestly I ask you!!! And just the other week the girl sitting next to me was regaling tales of her first leg waxing session to her friend………….. after five minutes or so I had to turn and look at her, I smiled with raised eyebrows, she went red and her friend couldn’t stop laughing………….. either I’ve never noticed this before or times have changed and I’m getting old?)

Oh yes back to the entertaining eavesdrop!

Well on another journey home two teenage (@15) girls were seated across the aisle on the other side of the bus, a row in front of me, and suddenly my attention was pricked so to speak because the two young ladies were chatting about relationships and sex, oh and loudly with plenty of passengers within earshot. Well as you can imagine I’m listening into the conversation and I’d guess all the other commuters would have turned down their mp3 media, stopped reading their paperback novels all ears drawn to the girl’s sex talk. Then mid chatting about their love lives, one girl earnestly said to her friend and I could tell she was rather concerned worried and confused, saying in hushed tones,

“Can you catch STD’s from sleeping with another woman?”

Well I’m all frigging ears mulling over questions like ‘well can a woman catch an STD from sex with another woman?’ ‘And if so which ones?’ And I must admit I was as confused as the two girls! Well to cut a short story even shorter, her friend wasn’t much help and didn’t seem to know?

Then all of a sudden a middle age woman sitting a few rows in front of me, turned around from her seat, leant across to the two girls and answered,

“Yes you can my dear, you can catch STD’s.”

And having shared her caring advice she returned to her seat as if nothing had ever happened, then the worried girl turned to her friend and rather seriously said,

:/ “I’d better get myself checked out then” and with that their conversation stopped or changed subject I cannot remember?………….. Hmm I wonder if she did get checked or have an STI.

Well as you can imagine I was in my element listening in (wouldn’t you be? Btw we all were), however I couldn’t help wondering who the rather brave knowledgeable helpful woman was? I remember thinking she must be a lovely person to bravely come to the rescue of a troubled teenager, perhaps she was a mother with daughters? A school teacher? Or just an example of someone with such great empathy, devoid of embarrassment, that she could no longer remain quiet knowing both the correct STI answer and how important the teenagers understood diseases are exchanged skin to skin.

I was truly touched.

I wouldn’t have had the nerve to speak up possibly because I was pretty confused myself! My brain was listing any number of sexual diseases before settling on Genital Herpes, I’m reliably informed Herpes is very easy to pick up from skin to skin sexual contact, but either way I wouldn’t have had the nerve to pipe up and neither did all the other commuters within earshot…………. hmm :/ perhaps men should never get involved #MeToo and all that.

In life there are those who get involved and help others, and there are those who watch and do nothing? So I’m left wondering which one am I?

(Stating the obvious boys talk loudly over their mobile phones………………. but for some reason I only remember lurid tales told by young ladies 😀 probably because lady’s conversations are FAR more interesting engaging and darn right entertaining!)

©A. Shepherdson 2018.

‘The Three Horseshoes’, blog #6

Blog 17/09/2018

Blog #6 and yes it’s part of my # series ‘Caring For a Parent’, only this time I’ve titled the post ‘The Three Horseshoes’, btw if you didn’t already know my mum was on holiday with her friends and for the very first time ever I moved back home to look after Dad blah blah blah lol………….. well as of now she’s returned home refreshed, very happy (with me) and likewise I’m back at my home!

You still with me?

I’d like to add I’m not trying to make a point, convey a message, give advice this blog series is what it is an honest window into my life as many bloggers do………. and yes I have surprised myself because mum left the house with these words ringing in my ears,

“You will be patient won’t you?” which was more an instruction than a question, anyways all went well, no drama and no doubt I’ll be doing this all again which is food for thought.

Where was I?

Oh yes ‘The Three Horseshoes’, now please look at my photographs above, the building’s style lettering and swinging board and you may have correctly deduced this is a traditional English Public House, in other words a hostelry that sell beers spirits, a place where people go to enjoy a drink with friends and have a pint of beer and a ‘good old chin wag’………… put the worlds to rights!

I’ll cut a short story even shorter ’cause perhaps readers are thinking I’m getting carried away with my caring abilities, I’m not, these four days have been a learning exercise I’ve never had children so I could consider myself a virgin carer, anyways returning to my tale!

Several mornings a week my mother walks Dad to the bus stop around the corner, sees him onto a bus heading to the centre of Town and he actually recognises the stop he needs to get off at, then he takes the very short walk to ‘The Three Horseshoes’ by himself. Well I didn’t trust this scenario and didn’t want to be the one to frigging lose him, jeez that wouldn’t have gone down well with the sibling so with this in mind I travelled with Dad finally delivering him safely to the Pub!

Joking apart, once inside the daytime barman says, (along with a few funny lines!)

“Sit down in your usual seat ‘name’ and I’ll bring over your buttered teacake and coffee”, at the same time as taking a £5 note and handing back the change, he’s a wonderful guy in my opinion, mum gets half hour to herself Dad gets a little exercise and a change of scene.

Yes I said wonderful man, this guy doesn’t need to do all this, other barmen may say to themselves ‘this pensioner has memory problems, not my problem to look after him, surely he can visit a pensioner day centre rather than my pub!’ Or am I overplaying his generosity and being disingenuous to most Publicans? Many landlords wouldn’t, in my opinion, and yes to me this small kind service reaffirms my faith in human nature please feel free to comment.

Then half an hour later after coffee and teacake have been consumed Dad is still able to find his correct Town centre bus stop and make his own way home………… incidentally you may be curious to know I’d left the pub earlier and he made his own way home……. ‘phew’ another day gone without a hitch!

To be continued with afterthoughts and conclusions?

A. Shepherdson 2018

Photo blog #4

Photo blog 16/09/2018

The title Blog #4 will hopefully tell you this post is part of a ‘family/relationship/caring for’ blog series.

My parents own a collie cross who as many of you pet owner’s will agree, has become an integral and important loving member of the family, good company for them both she needs exercising and enjoys reminding no begging/pestering us to take her out for walks, owning a dog is a great form of exercise and companionship however isn’t for everyone? Anyways this afternoon I walked the dog around our lake and Town’s nature reserve and took quite a few autumn scene photographs………… I hope you enjoy.

We are lucky and as I’ve hinted at before the majority of Town’s right across the UK have their own small wildlife sanctuaries with woods and lakes, ideal for dog walkers or family’s with pushchairs and maybe joggers…………. saw a lovely ‘bouncy’ lady in tight leggings and green licra today, the sight of pretty ladies always brightens the day especially if she smiles at you 🙂 !

I would like to add a word of caution to owning pets, yes they can be a focal point and comfort but please don’t go getting one on my say so, everyone’s home circumstances are different both ability to care for and give exercise to, plus the cost of food vet bills etc but 🙂 then you all know that.

Unfortunately in the UK our seasons are most definitely changing, the air temperature has dropped by half from a balmy 30 degrees and leaves on the trees are turning rustic browns and golds, oh and as you’ll see horse chestnut fruit is falling to the ground ready for children to collect and play the English game of ‘conkers’.

Hm when I retire one day I’ll buy myself a Border Collie pup

©A. Shepherdson 2018

Missionary (mild adult themes)

Be aware mild sexual themes, my Muppet/Sex Pistol post is next.

Btw if you are at all curious as to what prompted this evening’s sxual musings, I made love to a lovely lady this afternoon and I’m feeling pretty good about life…………. yes all very self indulgent and perhaps maybe showing off a little but hey lol it’s my WordPress 🙂 . Ok why not call my relaxed easy going contentment a moment to be treasured (been a while) BECAUSE all feelings of post coital joy will have worn off by tomorrow but as of right now, my place in the grand scheme of Planet Earth is a moment of easy going, up-beat, carefree joy and all is well with my life! Lol never lasts!

Changing tack (nautical like) did you know or should I say were you aware 10 minutes missionary burns 250 calories so says an American medical study and I never knew this apparently the world average time from beginning to consummation takes 5 minutes (jeeze I’m going to have to try harder), btw I read it on tinternet so must be true! Yep making love with your partner only burns 250 calories, hmm a bit of a bummer when there’s 200 calories in a Sainsburys sugar rim donut!

But look on the bright side at least you had fun and no doubt a giggle. Yes my friend and I were intimate together and for 2 hours or so our souls connected and became as one but the sx aside, which was 😉 ok, more than anything else I enjoyed her company, the warmth of her body as we embraced, massaging and stroking her silky soft skin, kissing deep into her ass cheek, all a lot more fun than rolling around the bedsheets (as if two 50yr olds friggin could, her with a dodgy knee and me with my pulled shoulder!)

We made love and it was beautiful……………… but alas with a Monday morning comes hassle pressure and hard work! Pay’s the Bills I guess!

I’m not actually quite sure where I’m going with this post, not a new problem of mine but I’ll run with it. As I stated in an earlier post read your copy of the Kama Sutra and it’ll say there are 64 known positions for having sx, oh you haven’t a copy of this lover’s Bible well neither have I! But ever since I happened across this nugget of trivia I’ve wondered how many positions has a lady and myself attempted trying to consummate our love making and I’ve counted 6 or 7 maybe even 8! 

If you’re disgusted (bored) or ‘whatever’, feel free to comment but I HAVE been discreet, your awareness of the lady is a little less than of Eve, and note how sex with a lover always should be!

A. Shepherdson 2018

(Btw I neither Tag or Categorise a post with sexual words simply because I’m NOT a sex Blogger)

 

 

 

 

Policewoman and her near indecent exposure!

(Contains references to sex crime)

🙂 Now even if I say it myself that’s a friggin awesome post title! Lol I’ve truly surpassed myself but yikes now I have to write the post…………….. f#ck it’ll never live up to that hype but oh well I’ll tell my true tale.

(A brief Intermission similar to those they used to have at my local cinema when I was a child, Saturday afternoon’s the matinee would stop then ‘old stumpy’ would walk round selling cartons of ice cream and shout at kids to stop throwing sweets at him! Just to explain I’m telling the near indecent exposure tale one hundred percent true and, because I’m ALWAYS honest, I’ll admit her knickers could be an exaggeration but till this day I’m utterly convinced I saw them!)

A few years ago now, but I’m living at this same address so we’re talking quite recently, dead on 6.07 am on a weekday morning I pulled my front door shut, and why such a precise time you may well ask? Well I catch the bus to work 6.25 and it takes me exactly 15 minutes to reach the stop.

My walk to work is an absolutely stunning one though at times can be a little nerve-wrecking but I’ll get onto that in a moment just hold that thought. My 13 minute walk is quiet peaceful and a changed landscape everyday of the year yet I take exactly the same route? The beginning couple of minutes are breath-taking strolling beneath canopies of overhanging trees, leafy in summer cold and bleak in winter, and stunning in the snow. Then I walk alongside the wall of an ancient Manor House, turn left at the Dovecot, pass by an ancient Church then cross open common land with it’s 2 bridges over the river Windrush with woods and trees either side.

🙂 

I’m unbelievably lucky, some early mornings I’ll watch ducks geese and swans as I cross the rivers, a heron if I’m lucky, and circling over the open fields I’ll quite often see Barn owls swooping down for food and best of all I’m often the only person walking across the common. There’s never another soul in the dark winters and only the odd female jogger her tight ass squeezed into body hugging Lycra in the summer…………. if she’s bouncing boobs then all is right in my world!

However my early morning gorgeous walk can be unnerving in the winter, it’s dark but for a few pavement lights, pitch black in some parts and frigging scary some days especially if my imagination is alive and I’m feeling jumpy. Why so? You may have guessed already, the common is a magnet for men who have sexual propensity to run up to females and expose their genitals, ‘flashers’ I KNOW frigging sick or what, WTF why do it for f#cks sake?

rapepngwebA tragic tale for you, two years ago and on the same day I crossed that open common, I arrive at work switch on my computer to catch the local news only to read a young woman was attacked @3.00am before I’d walked past that same wooded area, it’s always dark because of the closely planted trees.

I know I’m getting off topic, sort of! But it turns out this particular early morning a man dragged the woman from the pavement, into the undergrowth, assaulted her breaking bones in her back then he raped the unfortunate woman. However by breaktime that same morning the case was solved, it turns out minutes after the Police arriving at the crime scene they went directly to a particular known address close by and arrested a convicted rapist who was out on remand soon to appear in Court for the rape of another woman………….. it was written there in black and white, the rapist was allowed out of prison ready to attend Court where he’d be found guilty for whatever and sent back to prison! But he assaulted in the meantime and sentenced life/9 years minimum.

Unbe-f#cking-lievable, you just cannot make this incompetence up!

Anyways returning to my story of walking to work one particular evening and now you understand why I’m both elated by the scenery and nature and nervous that I’ll get beaten up or robbed blind. Several years prior to the serious assault our local Police, in I guess a gesture to calm public safety fears over the number of exposures taking place and because several hours later around 9.30am children walk across the common to get to school, a visible Police presence was increased from zero to quite a few and I’m not being sarcastic there’s only so many Policepersons and FAR too many crimes taking place.

11949846491773218673woman_police_02_gerald_g_01.svg.hiI’ll get to the end of this frigging true tale if it takes all evening lol! So I’m often nervous, the only member of public out and about this early hour, now if you look at my photo below this is virtually the exact spot where I was startled. Suddenly aware of movement and rustling between the bushes and because I’m a fast walker I strode past the noise and commotion half expecting to see a cat or the grey squirrel my mum’s dog chases HOWEVER what do I see but a uniformed attractive Policewoman squatting on the ground her skirt pulled up over her knees halfway up her thighs, knickers down around her ankles (side on so I didn’t see her actually doing ‘it’ or she’d finished) well all I can add is she was as startled as me, our gazes and eyes briefly caught each others, both no doubt WTF? I hurriedly kept walking and just understand there was an awful lot of commotion from those bushes as said Policewoman adjusted her dress! I will be absolutely bluntly honest, the image of her squatting half naked is still kinda sexy!

I realise now the juxtaposition of a story about a rape and a peeing policewoman don’t perhaps sit happily? Hmm, I’ll leave it, they happened but feel free to comment. 

(I remember later smiling to myself thinking ‘I’d hope she saw the funny side afterwards’, out hunting for flashers but no instead she flashed a pedestrian. 🙂 )

It’s a strange old world, day after day month after month I take that exact same route through beautiful countryside, passing various wildlife and then one day what do I see but a peeing Policewoman! BUT being deadly serious for a second and please don’t think me flippant, on another day a young woman takes that exact route and is raped! Jeeze we have to take care these days, there’s far too many assaults robberies and knife crime in my Town!

My morning route to work, the common and lane with bushes. (My old photos but I doubt you mind. 🙂 )

A. Shepherdson 2018©

girlwiththepawprinttattoo’s challenge

This response is in place of something (coming sooon) that’s a touch different for me, then again I’ve always said I’m err theme less? 🙂

Thank you to girlwiththepawprinttattoo for her nomination, I’d love to reply to her challenge 🙂 I’m afraid though I don’t strictly play by the Award rules on WordPress, however I DO love answering the questions also reading those of everyone else involved. Just call me awkward lol but as with megisacat’s Challenge, the lady’s questions made great ideas to write about from a fun personal perspective.

First here are Becky’s five questions to be followed by the girlwiththepawprinttatto’s five, I had fun answering and again :/ apologies for not playing strictly by the rules………….. but I doubt anyone really minds?

When did something start out badly for you but in the end, it was great? Starting my Toolmaking apprenticeship at the age of sixteen. Looking back I think working for a living was a shock to the system in so many respects, new people, new surroundings alien after school, hours set in stone, being disciplined by men who would NOT accept slackness or bad behaviour! However over time I learned to love the job and cherish the skills that were being taught not forgetting I was being paid a wage. Looking back I was lucky, not every boy had the opportunity to be chosen to learn a Trade that will hopefully keep me employed for life, some boys would have wanted this opportunity so badly but missed out and I should always remember that. We all should. :/

What movie can you watch over and over without ever getting tired of? ‘All The President’s Men’, yes the movie is a few years old but will always be a fascinating story. It follows the Watergate break-in and subsequent scandal HOWEVER the message is as relevant to today’s dirty Politics as it was in the 70s, whether that be D. Trump in the Whitehouse or Number 10 in the UK. Watch the movie and you’ll realise nothing’s changed plus All The President’s is a fabulously paced whodunit………. won Oscars and everything!

What “old person” things do you do? Omg I think I fit into the bracket of being old, but hey in for a penny in for a pound, I’ll call into my local Supermarket around 6.50pm and why? Because they reduce all the food that’s on it’s final ‘sell by day’ before closing at 7pm. I know frigging sad or what!!

If someone narrated your life, who would you want to be the narrator? I had lol difficulty with this question, Richard Burton because as with his opening narration to the film Zulu, Burton could make anyone’s life sound exciting enough to take notice of.

What artist or band do you always recommend when someone asks for a music recommendation? The honest answer is my recommendation would change almost every day, depending on my mood or what’s been playing on my mp3 player my answer could be any number of bands? Sorry!

Leopard-97

girlwiththepawprinttatto’s questions ( :/ ? Well you never know it could be a leopard pawprint?)

What actor/actress would you want to play you in a film about your life? Tom Hanks, only because the characters he plays in movies are always likeable amusing heroic individuals who everyone loves, plus he marries Meg Ryan omg lucky guy!!!

You have just woken up from being cryogenically frozen. What is your first question? I fear my answer won’t be everyone’s idea worthy of an Award question, but yet again girlwiththepawprinttatto’s question really had me thinking. I suffer from epilepsy, see I told you it wouldn’t be a barrel of laughs, and I’m pretty convinced I actually know the answer to this question for real. The start of a seizure I liken to an electric shock, a physical mental jolt that blocks out thoughts of everyone and everything around me. Then the following three seconds are feelings of dread clarity and an understanding of what is to happen next, three minutes of unconsciousness! However (and here’s her answer) when I awake there are ALWAYS, without fail several concerned human faces looking down at me the worried faces of Good Samaritans! People who cared enough to stop and help their fellow human being, empaths have you will, lovely people who were the ones out of all the others walking past who took time out of their day to help me OR use their mobile to call an ambulance. 🙂 This shows to me there is goodness in the World and my first question is “where am I?” These lovely people have also reminded me that I to should stop and help a person in need and I have done. Lol sorry if I’ve rather depressed you but not everyone stops!

What type of movie would your life be? Romance? Drama? Comedy? Horror? Drama I guess for the above reason.

What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should? I think my TV Station exists! Topless women laying on a bed shaking a phone in one hand, mouthing “call me” at the screen ❤ ……… I’m joking I’d never ever lol phone I’m tooo tight with money! A great Channel I’d love to exist is one that’s dedicated to Space Exploration, Moon landing footage…… I know really boring haha.

If you were famous, what would you want to be famous for? Answering this question is actually more difficult than I first imagined because unlike children of today I don’t want to be famous. Watching ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ (I do) and the thousands of kids who want to be famous, it seems sad they don’t appear to want anything else other than famous? They should listen to Francis Rossi from Status Quo when he said, “you just don’t wanna know what’s behind the Show Business façade, it ain’t pretty”. Lol rather err depressing but children want fame so desperately that they’ll not think about the insecurities performer’s suffer from. But if I were famous I guess I could say a Motor Racing driver because of the money thrills and pretty ladies (least I’m honest!) that come as the trappings, but honestly I’d like to be famous for inventing something that help’s my fellow man, a drug that cures a disease?

Fun questions and apologies for not playing by Award rules, but not to worry. 🙂

A. Shepherdson 2018