Has #MeToo spoilt our Christmas Party?

Now please do not read tooo much into this post, I’m a little annoyed disappointed that’s all, and it’s not a rant because my WordPress is a drama free zone where I’ll hopefully share something anything entertaining, enjoy myself and share thoughts that are on my mind………… as with this post!! For obvious reasons I rarely speak about my place of work for one because they’ll bore you to tears and two because it’s well unsafe and possibly illegal to share detail, but hey I’m going to break my self imposed rule and share an email we’ve all received below………… just keep in mind ‘#MeToo fallout’ and read on.

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A screenshot of an email sent to all Staff

Let me expand my tale with some sketchy detail, my place of work every Christmas organises an ‘office Party’ to which only support staff are invited, if last year is any indication half of guests will be women of all ages, office workers who work in HR administration PA secretaries and a (lovely brunette) receptionist.

The other half consist of males of all ages who are employed as mechanical maintenance support staff, and generally throughout the 2018 working year both sexes got on just fine, with the odd minor incident as always happens when human beings rub along together.

Last year’s Christmas meal was incident free, groups of 8 sat around tables, conversation was slightly forced but ‘it was what it was’, a sociable meal……….. then after the free glass of bubbly had been consumed and the meal finished, the male support staff tended to congregate in groups close to the bar……….. and as I’d expect females sat in groups around tables I’d guess chatting about what women like to chat about, not forgetting a handful of younger women danced whilst a young DJ played music.

Now you’re probably thinking some calamity befell the occasion, someone drank too much and there was an incident laced with sexual impropriety, an event so grave the fallout has been discussed infinitum for the rest of 2018. But I’m sorry to disappoint, nothing happened except as the evening wore on conversation noise levels increased as the chatting groups became more animated as the alcoholic beverages took affect.

However alas there wasn’t to be any kissing under the mistletoe, no male drunken fumbling within a receptionist’s blouse (incidentally my wet dream) behind a Christmas Tree, nope as I said nothing untoward happened whatsoever, as I’d guess everyone had expected when they bought the ticket, a drama free evening perhaps because the type of institution I work in everyone is responsible and extremely intelligent, and probably exactly the same as thousands of office Parties up and down the UK, Events you have to be seen attending if a little boring but with an absence of loutish inappropriate embarrassing behaviour!

So as of today Christmas Party 2018 is all booked and paid for then on Monday we receive the email above, and if you’ve read the text you’ll have guessed we basically received behavioural instructions, rules and guidelines, with threats, also informed that any inappropriate behaviour will be dealt with through HR and the usual disciplinary procedures, as it says our Party is an extension of the workplace

…….. as for the ‘drinking should’s?’ Those points are enshrined in UK Law ANYWAY!!!!

WTF!!! As you’d expect this email has not gone down tooo well, that’s an understatement! It’s of course driven by #MeToo fallout, my employer is covering itself against possible legal action, but come on, do responsible adults really need to be reminded how to behave, do they really need to be reminded of disciplinary protocol, guidelines on how to enjoy yourselves responsibly? 

Ok after the dust has settled we’re all intelligent adults, lovely people, we understand this is just another consequence of the #MeToo fallout but it hasn’t half put a damper on this supposedly fun annual event, I’d go far as to say if this email had been forwarded before booking and payment was made, going by general consensus several people say they wouldn’t have gone……………. then again that’s possibly the worst thing you could do, it surely infers to the Department’s Head that you drink tooo much and as a consequence start laying your grubby little paws on secretaries plump shapely asses……………. however on reflection, back in the real world, predatory behaviour probably blights one or two office Parties.

That’s got me thinking, what if there’s a Secretary who secretly doesn’t like me, a closet nutcase, perhaps she had plans to accuse innocent old me of groping her then get me arrested by the police, what a fabulous opportunity to take me and the Employer for millions!……………  Or am I dreaming up a world of fantasy?

Like I said at the beginning. this isn’t a rant, I understand the need for such an email but come on do we really need reminding how to conduct ourselves in a civilised society? The Head graduated from University, a very intelligent individual, yes on the whole is liked but perhaps ‘he or she’ just got over officious with language or perhaps this is a sign of legislation to come? The possibility of being sued in a Court of Law could mean ‘rest and relaxation’ events will become a thing of the past, however lol boring they may be.

And my final word to this little rant, here’s the email I would have sent? 

Dear all, I hope you enjoy the Department's various Christmas 
Events, please remember they are an extension of our/your 
workplace. 
Happy Christmas and a peaceful 2019 to you all.

©A. Shepherdson 2018

Have I ever touched a woman inappropriately? (Re. #MeToo)

(#MeToo themes, consequently age appropriate BUT my WordPress ISN’T an adult blog)

:/ So have I? In my long years stalking (no walking) this planet, have I ever touched a woman inappropriately (sexually) to the point she’s had to say “No”?

And the answer is yes once.

But it’s never ever happened before or since, end of!

……………………..oh you mean you’d like to hear more? All the seedy details? Was I reported to the Police? Was I charged with sexual assault? Did she add my name to the #MeToo Twitter feed?

SO MANY QUESTIONS!

Ok before you or WordPress get their frigging knickers in a twist over my very frank and honest admission, the answer is I’ve never broken the law in my life hence I’ve never been arrested by the Police. Further, no one has ever reported me to the Police and my name isn’t linked to #MeToo, so the answer is a BIG NO to every question that’s hopefully surging your brain’s electrical circuitry right now.

Ok are we quite clear, and please don’t think I’m belittling #MeToo, as no guy ever should.

Having said all of that……..

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December last year I was chastised for touching a woman’s V, but in my defence she was naked riding me reverse cowgirl at the time, consensually! However I’m fully aware a guy cannot assume he can do whatever he wishes to a woman’s body even though she’d previously agreed to have sex with him.

06Similar to the majority of men across the globe I’ve followed the #MeToo debate with varying degrees of interest, not religiously but a newspaper article here, a TV news story there, HOWEVER my ears will always prick up when I hear a guy moan he no longer understands what the dating rules are anymore?

Are you aware last month Amazon announced, ’employees are allowed to ask a colleague for a date one time only’, which seems harsh when my Grandma said my Grandpa never stopped asking her out, she answered yes just to keep him quiet!

The rest is history, they reached their golden wedding together, had 3 children, 4 grandchildren and 5 great grandchildren so draw your own conclusions as to the new corporate dating policies!

Incidentally Amazon don’t care either way lol, they’re legally covering themselves and :/ more businesses will follow.

As for guys no longer understanding dating rules, each time I hear this nonsensical argument, I shake my head because asking if #MeToo is being fair to men is a total no brainer. It’s not right to touch a woman inappropriately in 2018, as guys are fully aware, it wasn’t right to touch a woman’s body 30 years ago before asking, because well you just don’t!

It’s a no brainer argument, so why the confusion, I keep reading and hearing a small minority of men are confused? I guess the only confusion could be if a married man was wrongly accused, but that’s a whole other issue.

A woman I dated on several occasions, we didn’t have sx we were just good friends. well somehow our conversation stumbled onto tales of sx as you do, all very amusing until she said her first time wasn’t a happy experience, afterwards actually saying to herself,

“Well is that it? Is that what all the fuss was about?” in other words a considered anti-climax.

Hmm as often happens with a post I’ve gotten side tracked haven’t I, :/ the perils of writing as you think. I began by saying I have been guilty of touching a woman inappropriately, Sarah was her name (not really), I made the mistake of touching her V without asking whilst she rode me reverse cowgirl. I touched her intimacy, she stopped bouncing up and down on my waist taking my long hardness deep inside her and having paused Sarah turned her head saying rather curtly,

“Don’t touch my foo (insert my name)”

I apologised and yes even though sex was consensual I SHOULD have asked shouldn’t I, Sarah helped me to climax and if you’re interested all was fine afterwards. We chatted laughed, drank alcohol and the incident was never spoken of again, perhaps for literary effect I’ve overplayed the episode but she chastised me with “don’t” and yes I should have asked first.

Sarah and I were cool afterward, I’d better make that very clear! And I have no idea why she didn’t wish me to touch her V? I’ve no problem with Sarah, she had the right to say no as all women do, a woman has the human right to say “STOP” at any time as do I!

Similar to most of us I’ve read true tales of sexual abuse in magazines and on the internet and I’ve even read that it’s not uncommon for a woman to say she’s been raped by her husband. The name of a specific article avoids me but I remember it took me a few seconds to process, hold on now? They are married couple ‘man and wife’, doesn’t the husband have conjugal rights? They’ve signed a betroth ‘in the eyes of God to be faithful to one another, he has the legal right to ##ck her doesn’t he?

But of course when I reflected on these marital bedroom arguments it’s absolutely clear rape can and does exist within a marriage, heavens above husbands do not have any Rights over their wives bodies. I would never assume I had a legal right to sexual intercourse, but I think if the guy’s been denied then the marriage had already passed the point of NO return.

Yes?

I began this post discussing pointing out my puzzlement at a minority of men NOT understanding ‘these new dating rules of engagement’, I’ve heard them said on the TV, which leads me in very seamlessly to my own rules of dating engagement……. you get the idea.

I’m not a very tactile touchy feely sort of person, so perhaps I’m different from most men? Stretching a hand out to pat a woman’s butt cheek wouldn’t cross my mind, jeeze I’d never slap her ass and I would never place an affectionate arm round a female’s shoulder or lean in a little to close to her face, but some men still do.

I would never place my hand on her thigh, put my arm round her waist and certainly never ever grope a breast. I’d never try to steal a kiss from a lady, stroke her hair but I guess the consequences of mixed messages could perhaps come into play, you know, a date has gone particularly well so a guy might grope because he assumed sex was on the menu, but this would be a MINORITY of men.. Hmm perhaps I’m different to some men? I’d day dream of touching her breasts and pussy but I wouldn’t until :/ asked to!!!!

However I’m most definitely far from being an angel, I’ll be the first to admit to admiring a fine looking woman from afar, appreciate her lovely hair, furtively gaze at her pert round bottom (I do this a lot :/ ), my eyes drawn to a gorgeous pair of breasts, treasure her child bearing hips, appraise her ‘pins’ AND glance down her cleavage if the opportunity arises……….. which I most definitely do when she’s not watching! (Lol they know though 😀 )

But surely that’s ok isn’t it? Yes?

I mean as long as one doesn’t leer, side glancing at an open blouse is ok, enjoying a females sexuality solely by eyesight remains ok in 2018 doesn’t it? Like I said I’ll mull over the so called new rules and my responsibilities as regards #MeToo fallout, quite often actually, but I really am unsure if looking and appreciating beauty in a woman, is no longer socially acceptable?

Perhaps ladies HATE men looking at their bodies?

So ladies lol answer me, if you’re aware (feminine intuition and all that jazz) a guy is looking at you, enjoying your sensuality no sexuality, is that ok?

So what final conclusion could I share with you before wrapping up this post.

I would say, human male consciousness and #MeToo arguments are inextricably entwined, if any guy including myself doesn’t reflect on this statement from time to time then perhaps I and he should! However my mother brought me up to be a good boy, treat people how you wish to be treated, taught me by example how to care and empathise with my fellow man, I’m not perfect but I understand right from wrong. So Sarah I apologise (we kissed and made up), thank you for the lovely afternoon and banging alcohol induced overhang the following morning!

(And if you are curious as to why reporter Ben Brown was groping a woman’s boob live on BBC News? Neither am I? And it’s late and I cannot be frigging bothered to Google!)

© A. Shepherdson 2018.