Anatomy bodysuit! This woman’s a Genius

I have a Christmas holiday story of my own to follow tomorrow🙂.

There was ONE fun News story that made me smile over the Christmas break, appealed to my boyish sense of humour so to speak. 43yr old Veronica Duque is the lady’s name, a Biology school teacher living in Spain.

A colleague snapped some photos of her class
Picture copyright @mikemoratinos

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Mind you, I’d suggest you gotta be blessed with her lithe willowy figure to carry off a catsuit such as this.

Or is that Andrew being sexist again?

Well as the story goes, Ms. Duque began her lesson at Maria Teresa Inigo de Toro school in Valladolid wearing a white coat, then disrobed at an opportune moment to reveal a bodysuit depicting the inside of a human body, and all to help her year four class learn about anatomy:

“Visualise the disposition of internal organs” she later admitted to El Pais,

Adding there was “confusion, shouts, applause and some covered their eyes”.

And you guessed it, because we now live in a social media obsessed world a fellow teacher snapped pictures of Ms Duque giving the lesson, sent them to her husband who uploaded them on to Twitter where surprise surprise they went globally viral!

Don’t you agree Ms. Duque is a genius superstar of a teacher? What better way of making a class more practical and relevant, capturing the attention of her students for what can be an interminably tedious subject, all in all a fabulously creative idea to nurture a child’s imagination.

Quite brilliant.

No doubt there’ll be killjoys on Twitter calling her unprofessional but I think she’s a creative influencer, just imagine sitting in her class and gazing at her perfect figure with all human organs correctly displayed where they should be. I’ll go further, I’d suggest you’d learn more about human anatomy in one hour than you’ll learn for the rest of your life.

Apparently she has other creative classroom ideas!

A. Shepherdson 2019

On the 87th day God created cleavage

I must admit I’ve been in two minds whether to publish yet another boob tale (said that before!) Blogger Lesley kluchin won’t be impressed and I don’t blame her, of all the lovely readers to reply Lesley isn’t adverse to giving Andrew’s virtual ass a written spanking, several occasions tooo, I love them!! I fear my sexist tales understandably challenge the lady’s mommy sensibilities also school teaching values and quite right tooo……… Still, Lesley’s a good looking woman for her age, just shows a woman can still be sexually appealing at age70😘 . (Btw she wasn’t offended when I wrote that because I’m a nice guy.)

Ok I’ve a breast obsession! I adore sucking caressing licking and gazing in wonderment, what more can I say? 😀

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Ladies be watchful of peering eyes looking down from on high

Seems an age since I’ve affectionately ‘objectified’ a woman’s body on this WordPress.

Omg summer’s finally arrived with a vengeance and Oxford city is crowded with (age appropriate) young ladies wearing fewer than usual, there’ll be micro cotton dresses revealing milk white thighs, hem lines sooo short that on a guy’s lucky day he’ll glimpse ‘cushions’ of knicker gusset captured in the breeze, and just imagine but for this soft delicate fabric I might see kitty lips moistened and glistening against the sunlight! The problem is I have to keep in mind I’m old enough to be their father if not older!!

Btw this has happened, I’m not complaining ladies but watch the skirt length for heavens sake my heart isn’t as young as it used to be! Or with the advent of #METOO am I deemed sexist for looking and enjoying?

Do you wish to know why I enjoy riding double decker commuter buses in sunny weather? (You know you want to 😀 ) I’ll sit beside a top deck window waiting for my evening’s ride to pull away from the pavement, with a forearm propped upon a window-sill I’ll gaze down at delectable University students (age18) and pretty female shoppers walking past, their animated laughter and chatter a joy to behold, better still and you just know what I’m going to share with you next, more often than not when hot summer days arrive, so do tight fitting tee shirts with plunging necklines and ample boobage jiggling their own merry dance.

And because I’m seated peering down from up on high I’ll watch out for the colour of their bras as they walk on by, and if fortunate I’ll see pastel blouses with their collars open and top buttons undone, omg it’s fabulous to be alive when gazing at milk white boobs nestling comfortably within cups of various sizes, and working down the alphabet from an A cup to a DD, on a REALLY lucky day and this only happens once in a while mind, when the angle of eyeline is correctly aligned and her cups are larger in size, then I have been known to coup d’œil a small brown nipple or two.

Now that we’re on the subject of ladies’ nipples and keeping in mind their SOLE function in life is so that a baby can latch on and drink mums’ creamy goodness so they’ll grow up healthy a strong, yum yum big deal………………..

(Ahh I’ve just had an idea! I’ve some ‘breastfeeding in public’ opinions that I’ll leave for another day 🙂 )

ERR where was I? Oh yes tales of peering down ladies’ blouses! Yikes could I get into trouble doing this?

However this sexy street theatre doesn’t last forever as our gruff diesel engine rumbles into life, alas my down blouse performance is over for another day 😦 that’s until I descend the upper deck stairs and I share this thought with you quite truthfully, again when luck is on my side (lotta luck required in my life, keep up!) A BIG breasted young lady has been seen standing waiting ready to get off, I’m hovering above looking directly down, and no word of a lie, a balconette bra separating two perfectly shaped breasts with her belly button clearly in view. 

🙂 Btw she appeared like a vision one hot summer’s day last year, 😀 so ladies be aware!

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I’m curious, does a woman’s sixth sense tell her when a guy or girl is taking a little more interest than perhaps they should be?

Incidentally this saucy nonsense flows easily when I’m sexually aroused, why not try it yourselves dear readers? I should add the knicker gusset aided by the lifting skirt breeze scenario happened last August! Happy days 🙂 .

(Two ‘borrowed’ stock images which are NOT my own!)

A. Shepherdson 2019

Is Lust really a deadly sin?

If you are happily married, or happily co-habiting, you may find this post morally challenging though hopefully not, as always it’s just Andrew thinking out aloud 🙂 .

(Part2 follows, I have a lady neighbour who owns a dog!)

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Can two people be ‘only ever’ just good friends?

During those idle moments when one’s mind tends to wander there’s a question I often ask myself, would I sleep with a unhappily happily married woman?

The movie ‘When Harry Met Sally’ is a real favourite of mine and not because of Meg Ryan’s awesomely faked orgasm, a performance that’s more than a little disturbing to us men! No I’m fascinated by the premise at the story’s heart, the question Billy actually asks Meg namely can two people be ‘just good friends’ without the relationship becoming sexual OR heading that way until intelligence and good sense makes people stop and think! Can you be friends with that ‘special’ person at work without becoming romantically involved?

Read More »

Is objectifying the naked human body (either sex) acceptable?

A post not to ‘overthink’ about for tooo long. And used in the correct circumstances ‘that phrase’ is justifiable! 🙂 .

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I see absolutely nothing wrong with the image above, PeTA took a lot of abuse for this one but really? Perhaps if this beautiful black lady was a white blue eyed blonde……… then again she’d be politically incorrect!!

My two blogging rules of thumb are, to enjoy the writing creativity process and would I enjoy reading? If yes then I publish, if I regale the beauties of a woman’s wonderous body then all’s the sweeter 😀 .

Sexism (noun): prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women on the basis of sex.

Read More »

Trouble with the Youth of today is………….

I’m guessing if you have children of your own you’ll possibly probably enjoy this one. 😀

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‘David’ by Michelangelo 1501-04, I think if the day ever comes when this magnificent marble statue is deemed obscene it’ll be the day I finally give up on humanity.

“Wow didn’t David have a small willy!” (Now come on you were thinking it so I said it.)

A very wise man (she could have been a woman) once wrote ‘the good ole days’ are 50 years long (I’d suggest they never existed in the first place), and the older I get the more I understand that writer’s perceptive thought processes, AND without Googling (because I never do) didn’t a philosopher living way back in antiquity days once utter the line “the trouble with the Youth of today is……..”

Well I have to be completely honest I’m no longer writing the post I’d first intended, the name of this Greek guy intrigues me so through the wonder’s of Google I just had to discover his actual quotation, and wouldn’t you just know I came across these following words of wisdom written by other Greek philosophers of the day.

A brief intermission (Get the popcorn out).

(The tale of how and why my Great Grandfather emigrated from Southern Ireland back in 1916 will have to wait, on and off I’ve been researching my family tree his father was a Boer war soldier and I’ve recently been given written evidence to prove something I’d suspected or hoped to be true…………… namely Grandpa was a political refugee, his family persecuted by Catholics so he sailed the Irish sea seeking asylum in the UK as both an illegal immigrant also a migrant worker…………… hmm well who’d have guessed, Grandpa was an asylum seeker, perhaps I should be more careful when discussing UK immigration!! 😀 ………. btw the irony isn’t lost!’)

Intermission over.

Returning to Googled Greek philosopher’s and their wayward children, ok this evening’s post is little more than regurgitated facts you’re all probably aware of, they’re lifted from the internet by me, nope nothing incisively new here but they’re entertaining reading all the same!

“They (Young People) have exalted notions, because they have not been humbled by life or learned its necessary limitations; moreover, their hopeful disposition makes them think themselves equal to great things – and that means having exalted notions. They would always rather do noble deeds than useful ones: Their lives are regulated more by moral feeling than by reasoning – all their mistakes are in the direction of doing things excessively and vehemently. They overdo everything — they love too much, hate too much, and the same with everything else.”
(Aristotle)

“The world is passing through troublous times. The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behaviour and dress.”
(Peter the Hermit in A.D. 1274)

“I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words… When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise (disrespectful) and impatient of restraint.”
(Hesiod, 8th century BC)

“The children now love luxury; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are tyrants, not servants of the households. They no longer rise when their elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize over their teachers.”
(Commonly attributed to Socrates by Plato)

Incidentally if you’re curious I don’t profess to be an expert on Greek philosophy, ask me a question about Socrates! And I’ll tell you the guy was a medical doctor, who smoked 20 cigarettes a day and played football for Brazil at the 1978 World Cup.

A fun read don’t you think? Especially ‘Peter The Hermit’s’ thoughts on girls of today……….. my guess is he didn’t have daughters or perhaps he should have got out a little more often!

A. Shepherdson 2018

Eavesdropping on Girls Talk

We ALL listen into stranger’s conversations………… don’t we?

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A question for you, why are women’s conversations so darn interesting?

I am a people watcher by nature, I was going to write aren’t we all? But I know for a fact some people are so self absorbed they are oblivious to what goes on around them, perhaps a little unfair of me. So yes guilty as charged I can’t help watching people go about their normal lives, nothing creepy mind it’s just that if you find human nature fascinating well you have to observe! Oh and I should qualify that statement with I have a terrible habit for eavesdropping, perhaps an unsavoury character trait but if you’re going to chat to your friend about sexually transmitted diseases, then what’s a guy to do except listen in?

I really can’t help myself however I’m far from blameless in fact I blame this new phenomenon of telling the world your private business fairly and squarely on mobile phones! I can stand next to someone in a bus queue and they’ll happily chat about their lives to a friend consequently I’ve become very attuned to conversations going on around me, and I’ve heard some corkers when sitting on the bus enduring the awful evening commute out of Oxford. But what’s to do? For some unknown reason people seem totally comfortable having intimate mobile phone conversations out loud, however the eavesdropper only hears half the conversation so has to fill in the pauses while the other person answers, but don’t you think eavesdropping is just human nature?

(I’m not a gossip though, oh no tell me a secret in confidence and my lips are sealed)

Recently I overheard a lady explaining to a friend on the phone, how she’d just left a solicitor’s office after a meeting with her ex husband, a guy she described in these glowing terms,

“Thankfully I’ll never have to see his stupid little face ever again”, you get the idea they were divorcing.

I should add the half of the conversation I was listening to was the lady gleefully taking her ex hubby to the proverbial cleaners, the alimony, the furniture, the house she got the lot! Although she had to give him a token lump sum, and by the time she’d hung up I both felt sorry for the poor guy and thanked my lucky stars I am single! Mind you she had a pleasant well spoken voice and a personality you could call ‘bitchy’ but then again she was divorcing an ex hubby so perhaps her attitude was understandable……………….. 😀 hmm do I really want to ever marry?

I’ve lost count of the shear number of Court case conversations I’ve eavesdropped on, you see our County’s Crown Court (second highest Court in the land) resides in the city I commute out of, consequently all I can imagine is people leaving Court at 4pm are SO excited and intellectually stimulated, or are so frigging relieved, they jump on the bus, whip out their mobile and tell friends mothers or girlfriends what went on in Court and the outcome of the case, and again I fill in the gaps. I’ve overheard defendants discuss their knife crimes, wounding, robbery convictions and often accompanied with foul language, not forgetting drug abuse and all absolutely staggering conversations so much more entertaining than reading tabloid newspapers, or soap operas on the TV (I don’t watch TV!) Btw I’m not joking the stories I have heard!!

I’ve also overheard conversations that are so sad and upsetting, bare in mind they’re impossible not to overhear, perhaps when someone sits in their comfy Italian leather reclining seat they’re totally aware the person in the seat behind can hear every word? The other week a young woman from the seat in front of me was chatting to her mother in tears, letting her heart out as daughters do explaining how she could no longer afford the mortgage payments on her house and other bills, and by the time I’d descended the double decker stairs to get off believe me when I tell you 20minutes of sadness and upset had left me in bits. I almost felt like giving the young lady a gift of money (but is that patronising to admit), I’ve even felt guilty that I am lucky to be relatively well off!

I don’t know some people seem do get the rough end of life, so far I haven’t, but I’m afraid I’m unsure I could emotionally handle having my life turned upside down? Perhaps the consequence for my timidity is I’m a guy who doesn’t take a risk……. is still single…… a little unhappy lol.

The most entertaining eavesdrop I’ve had by far lol was again sitting on a bus! A jaw dropping tale where the girl behind who was retelling lurid stories of her slutty behaviour while being on holiday with friends in some Spanish holiday resort, fabulously entertaining that was! You’ll get the gist when I say she was a ‘sleep all day, drink party and sex all night girl’, well turns out she’d slept with a different guy every SINGLE night, good for her, you’re a long time dead!

Jeeze I was so envious………… why didn’t I go to Spain in my twenties? 😀

(Btw I’ll skip the conversation where three girls were comparing their shopping purchases and discussing the pitfalls of wearing bras that are tooo small……………….. honestly I ask you!!! And just the other week the girl sitting next to me was regaling tales of her first leg waxing session to her friend………….. after five minutes or so I had to turn and look at her, I smiled with raised eyebrows, she went red and her friend couldn’t stop laughing………….. either I’ve never noticed this before or times have changed and I’m getting old?)

Oh yes back to the entertaining eavesdrop!

Well on another journey home two teenage (@15) girls were seated across the aisle on the other side of the bus, a row in front of me, and suddenly my attention was pricked so to speak because the two young ladies were chatting about relationships and sex, oh and loudly with plenty of passengers within earshot. Well as you can imagine I’m listening into the conversation and I’d guess all the other commuters would have turned down their mp3 media, stopped reading their paperback novels all ears drawn to the girl’s sex talk. Then mid chatting about their love lives, one girl earnestly said to her friend and I could tell she was rather concerned worried and confused, saying in hushed tones,

“Can you catch STD’s from sleeping with another woman?”

Well I’m all frigging ears mulling over questions like ‘well can a woman catch an STD from sex with another woman?’ ‘And if so which ones?’ And I must admit I was as confused as the two girls! Well to cut a short story even shorter, her friend wasn’t much help and didn’t seem to know?

Then all of a sudden a middle age woman sitting a few rows in front of me, turned around from her seat, leant across to the two girls and answered,

“Yes you can my dear, you can catch STD’s.”

And having shared her caring advice she returned to her seat as if nothing had ever happened, then the worried girl turned to her friend and rather seriously said,

:/ “I’d better get myself checked out then” and with that their conversation stopped or changed subject I cannot remember?………….. Hmm I wonder if she did get checked or have an STI.

Well as you can imagine I was in my element listening in (wouldn’t you be? Btw we all were), however I couldn’t help wondering who the rather brave knowledgeable helpful woman was? I remember thinking she must be a lovely person to bravely come to the rescue of a troubled teenager, perhaps she was a mother with daughters? A school teacher? Or just an example of someone with such great empathy, devoid of embarrassment, that she could no longer remain quiet knowing both the correct STI answer and how important the teenagers understood diseases are exchanged skin to skin.

I was truly touched.

I wouldn’t have had the nerve to speak up possibly because I was pretty confused myself! My brain was listing any number of sexual diseases before settling on Genital Herpes, I’m reliably informed Herpes is very easy to pick up from skin to skin sexual contact, but either way I wouldn’t have had the nerve to pipe up and neither did all the other commuters within earshot…………. hmm :/ perhaps men should never get involved #MeToo and all that.

In life there are those who get involved and help others, and there are those who watch and do nothing? So I’m left wondering which one am I?

(Stating the obvious boys talk loudly over their mobile phones………………. but for some reason I only remember lurid tales told by young ladies 😀 probably because lady’s conversations are FAR more interesting engaging and darn right entertaining!)

©A. Shepherdson 2018.

“Cabin boy stuffed his arse with broken glass and now he’s circumcised the Skipper”

I love the English Language.

I have for you this evening a fun amusing (finger’s crossed) light hearted post not to be taken tooo seriously, and jeez don’t you find time passes all to quickly in life generally, oh and here on WordPress, a week’s passed and I haven’t ‘published’ (for several reasons) but there you are.

So like I said time for a post that’s a little more light hearted and how does the Muppets backing vocals to a Sex Pistols song grab you? Hey? I’d like to theme this post our love of Language and introduce you to a word you may have never heard before.

Frigging! (And yes it’s in the Oxford English Dictionary)

Frigging: My go to Blog word in place of profanity/vulgarity, I’ll even go as far as to say it’s becoming a firm favourite, you’re all lovers of the English Language, so have you ever heard the word and do you know what Frigging means? Have you ever seen it written into a Blog? I tend to use Frigging in place of swearing within my Blog, it’s less vulgar and sound’s awesome dripping off the tongue!

But before I begin, here are the Sex Pistols and quite unbelievably a Muppet cover! I dare you not to smile. 😀

(I do hope the Band’s South London accent translates and you’ll understand the lyrics if not Google! However alas I don’t think the video ‘combo’ is Jim Henson’s but apparently he loved it!)

A second reason for writing this evening’s post is I came to realise after writing for a few months on WordPress my language was appalling, and by that I mean foul language. Oh yes I used f### and s###, as noun verb and it’s descriptive sister in crime adjective far far tooo often, once or twice is ok? Any more and the F word loses all shock value, it’s okay to perhaps emphasise a calamity or the worst of behaviour but unacceptable remembering teenagers may read my Posts? Don’t please 🙂 . AND as my old School teacher used to chastise, swearing is ‘lazy writing’ and I’m inclined to agree.

Not quite acceptable in everyday spoken polite society but if you did say “Frig me” or “Frigging Hell” it’s just about acceptable………… certainly sounds less harsh on the ear than ‘F’.

I first stumbled across Frigging as an 11yr old and I can remember precisely where I was and who said it. By Martin Ashby on a Scout camp in Hampshire 19##. But I’m doubtful anyone reading this post has either used or perhaps ever heard of Frigging? ……………… OMFG I’ve only this second realised I haven’t shared The Oxford English Dictionary meaning with you………….. Frigging means clitoral stimulation or to a lesser extent male masturbation, and now you know the meaning doesn’t it sound rather delicious? Anyways I apologise for revealing so late in this evening’s post. 

So there you are, Frigging! I hope to see it written in your blog posts sooon! And btw don’t assume I’m a grammatical expert ask me to define verb and I’ll answer FU.

©A. Shepherdson 2018

A woman’s Cleavage (a cautionary tale)

If a sober guy looks at your bosom, tell him to “please stop” and 98% will.

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Moments such as these are milestones a young boy will remember for the rest of his life

I have a brief tale to tell though before you ask, because I know you are curious! NO I didn’t take these lady’s photos, most definitely not but if you’re a prolific Google imager like myself then you never know what you will discover if you search hard enough.

😋 She fit’s my post!

🤔 Perhaps a cautionary tale though, goes to show ladies have to be very aware of men and their digital cameras, lean forward ‘snap’ and the boobs are on the internet!…………….. But not to worry, I’m using this lady both for a genuine reason and I’m assured she’s an anonymous D list celebrity? Hmm lol “I’m sayin nothin!”

Within my more thoughtful posts I have touched on the serious subject of sexual harassment, with the after #MeToo fallout very much in focus, well I have a true tale which I think throws up some interesting talking points.

Several weeks ago I was chatting to a young lad at work who said he’d been out drinking with three friends the evening before, turns out the sun was shining so all four were sat outside around a wooden table in the Pub’s garden…………. a very British pastime, every Public House will have it’s own small garden or terrace for patrons to enjoy.

So these four lads were quietly drinking beer at their table, all very civilised none were drunk or being rowdy or loud, they were I’m told chatting being sociable and having a laugh. All good fun and every so often a barmaid would visit their table for I guess empty glasses, take a bar food order or bring more drinks, then my friend tells me as the barmaid was leaning over their wooden table handing out pints of beer she said,

“Will you four stop trying to look down my blouse!”,

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I’m age 52, and this scenario still happens to this day, and note the bottom left corner states this photo’s from the internet!!

He went on to give more clarity to his tale, she wasn’t p#ssed the lads and barmaid were on very friendly terms, their interactions were all proper and above board and I’d guess being as she was a barmaid and they were lads I’d guess there was plenty of flirting and light hearted banter, after she’d err told them to stop I’d guess knowing my work colleague there’d have been amused protestations such as,

😉 “WHAT me?” (His words). 

With ladles of wounded pride thrown in to good measure, and the way he shared his tale nothing more was said end of, certainly no Police were summoned or the Head Publican called to eject the lads from the premises, no the lady was quite aware they were peeking and for sure the lads were trying to glance down her open blouse…………….. I know for certain most men would!………. Now I realise ‘man hating lesbian feminists’ will disagree with what I am about to say,

“But don’t you think the barmaid handled the situation in exactly the right way?”

Btw I am also a feminist!

If she’d been getting increasingly tired of the lad’s furtive attention wasn’t warning the four 18yr teens enough? Yes the Pub garden is her very own workplace but there wasn’t any need to create a scene, the group and herself were all getting on fine, friendly and no doubt sexuality and the (adult) drinking atmosphere affected everyone’s behaviour, my friend saw the humour and the barmaid let it be known who was in charge……….. everyone had a giggle, the Pub didn’t lose four future paying customers and no scene or drama was created.

Ok I’d agree if you said my example of inappropriate behaviour is unique as every scenario will be, for one a drinking establishment barmaid won’t be any shrinking violet, she’d know exactly the right way to handle groups of leery lads who were overstepping the mark anyways you decide, I’ve met tiny barmaids who could eject fighting men just by a strength of personality.

Never argue with a p#ssed and angry woman, you’ll lose!!!

There of course could be an argument put forward by a certain British Police Commissioner that ladies should dress appropriately because short dresses can lead to unwanted attention, hmm who’s he blaming?

But I have a feeling the majority of right minded thinking adults agreed he was talking out of his arse and I’d hope his wife and daughters, if he had any, would have put him straight namely the fact a woman is assaulted isn’t her own fault, wear an open collared blouse if you wish AND I would add if a guy try’s to look down at your goodies, tell him to “get lost” or “please stop”.

And he will. Also.

If you’re in an underground train carriage and a guy attaches his grubby fingers to your ‘sweet lil ass’, tell him to “keep your hands to yourself!” And shout as loudly as you can so everyone else can hear you!

Confidence is key?

Okay I understand every case of sexual impropriety is different to another and further this blog isn’t a political platform only my own thoughts and observations, so what are mine?

For what it’s worth my own thoughts after hearing my colleagues Pub garden tale, was the barmaid handled herself correctly, the four decent hard working lads were warned and next time would hopefully be less obvious and take greater care when trying to look down a female’s open blouse!

No harm was done discuss!

Finally I’m here to say human beings are sexual animals, a woman will look at a man’s bulge in his trousers, a guy will look at a woman’s cleavage…………… you have to accept because that’s called ‘the way of the world’.

Early evening thoughts and now in comments tell me what you think please. 🤔

A. Shepherdson 2018

Beautiful Helen from across the road (erotica)

Click ‘here’ for ‘Beautiful Helen from across the road’ The Ending!!!

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I’m standing close behind the living room window gazing at my neighbour Helen across the road, but don’t worry she cannot see me I’ve got net curtains that’s why, and take note I’m not a curtain twitcher or a peeping Tom looking at what others are up to in their spare time. No it’s just people pass by and used to look through the window into my living room, so UP went the net curtain!

But watching Helen busying herself pottering around her front garden is different, and I’m not being nosey mind, certainly not because this is me time, a time to gaze and appreciate my beautiful neighbour from across the Road.

Helen’s an elegant young looking fifty year old, with a slim and slender body now crouching on the lawn facing me, one knee pressed into the grass, a trowel in hand weeding around the bases of her delightful and loved rose trees.

Every so often she’ll lean forward her pretty face a picture of concentration as her arms tug at stubborn dandelions the most invasive of plants, and I watch and wait for these very moments because invariably at the same time as her vigorous gardening the looping neck line of Helen’s baggy yellow blouse opens to reveal pendulous firm boobs waving from side to side. Then if I really concentrate my gaze I can just about see her nipples, large dark disks of areola they are, chocolate brown in fact now vividly contrasted against her milk white skinned boobs.

Omg there must be a particularly hard weed to pull out because she has to stand up bend forward and tug with all her slender might, and joy of joys the neck of her oversize blouse drapes further and opens even wider to reveal both breasts now swinging untethered by a tight fitting bra. Oh thank you Sweet Jesus for summer gardening days such as these!

A questioning thought suddenly crossed my mind, jeeze I pondered, Helen doesn’t half spend a long time weeding that same patch directly opposite me! Glancing down at my wrist watch, and now very shocked to see my neighbour in the early autumn days of her life hadn’t moved from weeding that single pink flowering rose tree for, I stared at the dial and quite taken aback I realised for the last ten minutes……… I physically gulped in shock! A cold shiver went down my spine, omg I thought to myself, ‘Helen knows I’m watching, my curtains aren’t blocking my voyeuristic playtime as well as I’d hoped and assumed.’

‘Holy f*ck!’ my brain momentarily in seizure, ‘jeeze what happens now’ I thought with beads of sweat forming on the skin of my brow, and all the time I rushed to let go of the shaft of my hardened penis, tugging at the elasticated hem of my boxer shorts, because yes I’d been masturbating whilst gazing at Helen’s pendulous swinging boobs with chocolate coloured nipples!

As you can imagine my mind’s in a state of excited panic, my heavy breathing isn’t only because I’d been caught watching, no minutes earlier I’d very nearly climaxed. creamy jizz soon to squirt into a white tissue held with the other hand, my excited hard shaft bucking and twitching about to shoot its load!

Yet more panic as I reached down to pull up my jeans and all this time Helen stood like an ashen faced manikin straight out of a teen horror movie, motionless, erect her face staring unnervingly straight at me through a net curtain more see through than I’d ever assumed!

‘What an earth happens now?’ I thought. ‘Does she run for her husband? Call the Police to arrest the peeping Tom from across the Road?’ A myriad of awful doom laden thoughts flashed past my mind as I finally zipped up my jean flies, my clothing now straight!

I felt my cheeks burning hot, cold droplets of perspiration trickling down my torso, my armpits now as warmed as all other erogenous parts of my body, then Helen did something so incredible, so close to unbelievable I nearly cannot write of the shock right here! Helen lifted her two arms, hands clasping the hem of her vivid yellow flouncy cotton blouse, only to pull the garment to first passing her waist, pause, then yet further still up and over her bosom so revealing two round breasts…………….. both approx a palmful therefore from experience I’d say a fulsome c cup.

So previously close to orgasm I nearly jizzed inside my boxer’s there and then!

Open mouthed my face a picture of bewildered incredulity, Helen smiled from across the road and for a second I don’t think I’ve felt such a mixture of relief and happiness mixed into one. But hold on her right hand no longer holding the garment’s waist hem, Helen raised her arm and with a curled up first finger my beautiful neighbour from across the road beckoned me closer.

Quick as a flash, I turned and near ran through my living room door……

To be continued and the link to part two you’ll find at the beginning!

©A. Shepherdson 2018 original and written by me.

A cure for Writer’s Block?

………..……………… write when aroused 😉 A response Post for Ray’s advice for curing writer’s block and note for fun….. :/ then again. (Btw my next post is rather a serious one)

A blogging tip for you, I’ve discovered after three months ‘writing’, and note ALL my own original work, I have discovered I write my 😉 ‘adult posts’ when I’m feeling a little frisky that’s sexually excited to you!

And I’m wondering if my stimulated mind is because my brain is experiencing a natural chemical induced high………….. and note the word natural, I’ve never taken drugs and neither should you, two teenagers died the other week having taken contaminated shit at a music festival………….. what a waste……. so tragic! 😦

But I’m at a loss as to the reasons why a slight hardness and a gentle twitch down below helps my writing process hmm all very strange? Yep for fear of labouring a point when I’m in the mood to create on WordPress, and I’m a touch sexually excited the sillier more explicit posts appear in my imagination, I just write and the mild adult themes pour out of me as if I’m day dreaming, take my post ‘open apology to women’ as an example…………………. all very odd! Ok hold on before you get tooo excited I should add I’m not hard for hours, jeeze NO!  

Perhaps those wonderful pleasure giving chemicals serotonin and dopamine secreted into our brains during sex makes writing easier, do you know what I think lovemaking chemical compounds make writing more enjoyable and sexually themed! Likewise adrenalin sharpens the senses and concentrates the imagination, quickens the heart when you’re about to orgasm perhaps I’m on to something here? And no I’m not writing this bs for the purposes of a humorous post! (Ok I’ll agree I’m writing bs LOL) …… anyways I thought I’d share this writing tip with all you lovely bloggers out there.

(Puts his laptop into hibernation for half an hour whilst he takes a lovely skin tingling shower, warm water flowing down his slim lightly toned figure.)

I’ve been thinking about this post in the shower and note the only place to idly dream up really good blog ideas, and yes I definitely find writing easier when ever-so slightly sexually stimulated or perhaps we’re more creative when we feel particularly happy, no let me rephrase creative in a certain way because many great works of fiction begin in dark recesses of an author’s imagination. I know my posts are absolutely dire when I’m depressed……….. and btw do you find the biggest frustration is being halted in free flow by a sentence which can be written 3 totally different ways, each as good as the other, yet for the life of you, you cannot choose which to use!

Hmm why not give writing a try when you’re sexually ‘turned on’ 😉 , the results could be hilarious awful or gloriously sensual but remember WordPress have mature content rules 🙂 .

A. Shepherdson 2018

An open apology letter to women not wearing bras!

‘Strap’ yourselves in this is a LONG one! 😀

Early evening thoughts with MILD adult themes…………. honest and respectful as always (comment if you’ve had your fill of my female sexual observations and objectification of the female human animal’s body)………….. my imagination I fear is out of control 7 o’clock at night, I’m incorrigible, my hardness is excited and twitching hence I write because these posts are fun and keep me interested when WordPress feels a lonely place……… 123 ahhh 😀

Does anyone honestly think this photo below is offensive? 

public-braless-4

A question for you, why is the female breast nipple such a big deal for a guy? And I’d agree with you ladies who say nipples shouldn’t be, after all they have one purpose in life to allow a nursing baby to latch onto the breast and drink mum’s milky goodness, big f#cking deal? Then babes grow into healthy toddlers having benefitted from the nourishment natural milk brings, AND yet still in 2018 breast nipples visible in public are a big issue with guys (me as well)…………………… but then you ladies ALREADY know this!

I fear all men at heart are really bigger versions of immature juvenile adolescents, and over the past 35 years I’ve worked with many immature juvenile adults who sadly objectify the women’s body BUT are women equally as bad…………. that’s a whole different blog post!

Returning to breast nipples! 

Yes nipples for a guy are a big deal, however hard I try I cannot stop myself from noticing when either in the company of a braless woman, or looking when passing a young lady in the street who’s taken the brave and courageous decision (an awful statement but I fear they have) to go ‘free’ beneath her tightfitting orange tee shirt, as happened with the young lady Friday afternoon as she passed me in Oxford High Street……….. a heavenly vision of a naturel wonderment she was.

So to you Miss, and I know you wont be reading this silly blog post, but if you did I must apologise if I made you feel uncomfortable as I stared at your breasts bouncing and jiggling as you briskly walked along the pavement, I gazed for rather a long time I know, more than is appropriate, my defence is their perky exquisite shape was female perfection personified (note as are all ladies breasts are), yes I felt a little ashamed afterwards 😦 .

(Yes a little. And note this uncontroversial post will make sense by the finish)

I’m lol aware I’m afflicted and note from a respectful appropriate distance, I realise I have a boob obsession I’m going to seek medical help (I’m not but it’s a great line!) But then hasn’t God evolution and mother nature left all mankind gloriously captivated by these wonderous milky goodies……….. and yes I realise God and Darwinist theories of evolution are not happy bedfellows.

Guilty as charged, every lady I’ve ever been lucky enough to watch undress before we consummate, the second she takes her bra off I go weak at the knees and near pass out and I’m not joking for effect!

So returning to my Oxford lady wearing the orange tee shirt yes I’m guilty as charged for being utterly transfixed by her nipples perhaps made more prominent by the cold wind breezing down Oxford High Street……….. and being absolutely serious for a second I think my gaze made her feel uncomfortable and yes I am sorry because well………. I’m guilty of bullying! ……………………….. (But lol she smiled at me so all’s good 🙂 )

Honest of me to admit this don’t you think? Or are any female readers shaking their heads thinking to themselves this is the reason I never ever leave the house without first strapping those two ‘droopy girls’ into a medieval torture device, with sharp underwires that chafe the skin, made red and sore by a garment they cannot wait to fling off when first returning home so uncomfortable is the bra to wear.

Now seems as good a place as any to share a video I first watched months ago, the truth is I wanted to share a female’s perspective and Sophie’s video is well very very good. I’ve asked her permission which is right and proper and click ‘here’ for a link to Sophie’s YouTube ‘here’ for her Twitter (btw I do not Tweet!), Incidentally she’s a Vegan activist, guru to minimalist living and zero waste, practices Yoga and Pilates all very intriguing don’t you think? 

Sophie’s Video 🙂

Interesting watching wasn’t it, are you convinced and now for the rest of my breast nipple post!

(Depending on how this post fairs I have further posts themed breast implants and bra designs in draft………… btw you should SEE the content I have in draft lol I’d be shut down but NOTE I never ever show inappropriate photos on my blog!

But breasts are essential aren’t they, beautiful and however juvenile and adolescent you may think men are for looking, I’m afraid we’re utterly transfixed by a woman’s pointy hard nipples made evermore prominent with thin cotton fabric draping over their shape.

So what’s to do? What’s the answer and I would rather controversially suggest bras should be banned and made illegal, women should be fined prosecuted and sent to bra prison until they learn the error of their ways, instructed to comply with Laws that say wearing such a useless garment is well just plain wrong!

Hmm on reflection perhaps that’s a touch controversial…….. well perhaps :/ more than a touch?

Oh yes where was I? Nipples! Keep on-message.

But hold on perhaps if every woman lived her daily life as God intended, their body free of a garment designed to hide the nipple from men’s gaze, because that’s all I see they are because I’m reliably assured breasts become firmer, tendons become stronger when no longer constrained confined and unnaturally shaped by ill fitting bra cups as Marks & Spencer’s reliably says YOU are!

thRR9EV72QIf every woman went braless then perhaps nipples wouldn’t be the novelty for men they presently are?

Picture left is a Googled image btw, both are!!

Because Britain is gloriously in the midst of a warm humid summer heatwave, on three separate occasions this week I’ve seen a woman in Oxford braless beneath her dress AND for my sins I can picture all three, yes a sad fact to admit but I can visually recall all err sixes shape bounce jiggle and prominent nipple, I take my proverbial hat off to the ladies having the guts to go au naturel because the unwanted attention from wandering male gazes must be near unbearable a sad fact of life but I fear the way God made us.

I’ll leave this rather light hearted post brimming full of uncontroversial slightly male chauvinistic observations with one final anecdote.

As a male child of age thirteen, a coming of age in a young man’s life lol, I remember first visiting the South of France for our summer holiday, and until my dying day I’ll never forget my first day visiting the sandy beach affront of a warm Mediterranean sea. Unforgettable not for being my first time there, no astonishing because the thought hadn’t ever crossed my mind that back in the 1980’s virtually every woman enjoying the sun sea and sand wouldn’t be wearing a bikini top!

Unbelievable incredible, I remember I thought I’d died and gone to heaven but importantly this day was before the internet, pre YouTube, digital cameras were a pipe dream, these were the days a woman could get her tits out knowing for certain their photo wouldn’t become a viral image and shared around the world? These were the days before home PC’s, hard-drives and picture folders, years before adult websites we’re informed drive internet content, no back in the 80’s a woman could take her bra off in the perfect knowledge no one cared apart from teenage boys………. oh and their dad’s!

Hmm thinking about it, that virtually covers all male mankind.

But here’s a thing! After lol an hour or so the novelty of first seeing a woman’s boobs passed by, truthfully and I’ve mentally run this thought many times, after one hour of incredulous staring women’s unfettered boobs became a perfectly natural ‘jiggling pendulous’ sight, and I guess by the end of the day on the beach breasts had near lost their sexual appeal (well nearly). Bare breasts had honestly become accepted as the new normality, no longer a big deal and in fact a woman would have appeared out of place odd and unusual if she HAD been wearing a bikini top!

Unbelievable I know, but if you’d been bathing on that beach however a prim proper classy sophisticated ‘good girl’ you are, oh yes your tits would be a swinging, the cool air sea breezes making your nipples go hard and pointy…………….. that’s ENOUGH Andrew!!

😀

So there you are, controversial opinions I know, but if bras were banned and everywoman enjoyed life free of this ridiculous garment, her shoulder tendons would be stronger, there wouldn’t be these unfounded irresponsible theories of bra’s being connected to cancer (I’m here to tell you they exist controversial or not and I think they’re wrong but what do I know) AND men wouldn’t notice the jiggle! Then I can assure you the sight of prominent nipples as with my Oxford lady in orange tight fitting tee shirt, would become the new norm and perfectly acceptable and yes no longer a big deal!

So have I convinced you to bin your bra yet? 

©A. Shepherdson 2018.

doggy (mild adult themes)

15-doggy-position-funny-cartoon

Always remember (please try I know this can be difficult) I’m DEFINITLY NOT a sex blogger but I’m no different to every other adult walking this spinning planet, I experience funny urges you all do, so being as I’m an observational ‘writer’ and adults are sexual animals therefore life and love will time to time combine together in a post………….. so if you’re under 18 you’ll find NOT a jot of interest here…………….. incidentally if you’re over 18 :/ you may not either………… but hopefully yes.

So if you’ve been following this Blog closely you’ll understand my favourite’s cowgirl, if you didn’t already realise there are 64 BECAUSE having followed my tales you’ll now know there are 64 so hopefully you should be asking yourself ‘how many have I tried with another human being male or female?’ Oh and be aware you can lose 250 calories missionary and I’ve yet ONE more nugget of adult information for you namely a ladies favourite clothes free fun and games activity is doggy!

I’d bet you didn’t know that or lol perhaps it’s fake news 😀

If you’re unaware, I’ve been near obsessed trying to figure how many I have been enjoying with a lady? Just the other day I was sat in my Doctor’s surgery note absolutely nothing to do with you know whats, and I found myself picking up a magazine from the waiting room coffee table THEN proceeding to jot down this numbered list of how many I’ve tried? I counted 7 but then I thought being sucked is a definite but is spanking a bottom whilst being sucked an on its own position? Or a variation of one theme? Still lol passes the time jotting any type of list whatever that may be, I only hope someone rather intrigued doesn’t ask me what I’m doing!

If at this point reading you’re none the wiser and haven’t an earthly as to what I’m hinting to? Then shame on you for not Following my blog btw I’m ONLY joking! And further still apparently, and read carefully, a ‘Lady of the Night’s’ favourite is yes you’ve guessed doggy, so if you enjoy being uhmm from behind then perhaps keep in mind you could work in the service industry, upmarket because all you reading right now I know are classy men and women!

Hmm :/ after reading this insightful observation of female positional preference, taken from the internet incidentally, and yes after having taken her from the rear I got to wondering why so popular with 51% of the population? I guess crouched on the bed ‘all fours’ means you don’t have some great weight laying on top, not forgetting legs wide akimbo is a rather uncomfortable position to be ploughed into by some dribbling, gasping for air, over excited ‘person’?

But being serious for a second, again I guess because I actually don’t know the answer, I would imagine ladies can absently minded stare at the bed’s headboard without looking him in the face, especially if she had a headache and didn’t feel like it tonight, but she resigned herself to keeping partner content and happy so relented, but at least with doggy you could even read a book, plan next week’s food shop at the supermarket or ask yourself why are my in-laws such frigging hard work?

So yes why not go doggy, forearms pressed deep into the soft spongy quilt cover, allow him to at least touch you by only holding by the waist and MAKE him do all the work, whatever the reason it’s all very sedate, no effort and keeps hubby happy.

Apologies to any readers bored by my meandering adult observational musings, early evening thoughts!

A. Shepherdson 2018

Missionary (mild adult themes)

Be aware mild sexual themes, my Muppet/Sex Pistol post is next.

Btw if you are at all curious as to what prompted this evening’s sxual musings, I made love to a lovely lady this afternoon and I’m feeling pretty good about life…………. yes all very self indulgent and perhaps maybe showing off a little but hey lol it’s my WordPress 🙂 . Ok why not call my relaxed easy going contentment a moment to be treasured (been a while) BECAUSE all feelings of post coital joy will have worn off by tomorrow but as of right now, my place in the grand scheme of Planet Earth is a moment of easy going, up-beat, carefree joy and all is well with my life! Lol never lasts!

Changing tack (nautical like) did you know or should I say were you aware 10 minutes missionary burns 250 calories so says an American medical study and I never knew this apparently the world average time from beginning to consummation takes 5 minutes (jeeze I’m going to have to try harder), btw I read it on tinternet so must be true! Yep making love with your partner only burns 250 calories, hmm a bit of a bummer when there’s 200 calories in a Sainsburys sugar rim donut!

But look on the bright side at least you had fun and no doubt a giggle. Yes my friend and I were intimate together and for 2 hours or so our souls connected and became as one but the sx aside, which was 😉 ok, more than anything else I enjoyed her company, the warmth of her body as we embraced, massaging and stroking her silky soft skin, kissing deep into her ass cheek, all a lot more fun than rolling around the bedsheets (as if two 50yr olds friggin could, her with a dodgy knee and me with my pulled shoulder!)

We made love and it was beautiful……………… but alas with a Monday morning comes hassle pressure and hard work! Pay’s the Bills I guess!

I’m not actually quite sure where I’m going with this post, not a new problem of mine but I’ll run with it. As I stated in an earlier post read your copy of the Kama Sutra and it’ll say there are 64 known positions for having sx, oh you haven’t a copy of this lover’s Bible well neither have I! But ever since I happened across this nugget of trivia I’ve wondered how many positions has a lady and myself attempted trying to consummate our love making and I’ve counted 6 or 7 maybe even 8! 

If you’re disgusted (bored) or ‘whatever’, feel free to comment but I HAVE been discreet, your awareness of the lady is a little less than of Eve, and note how sex with a lover always should be!

A. Shepherdson 2018

(Btw I neither Tag or Categorise a post with sexual words simply because I’m NOT a sex Blogger)

 

 

 

 

Relationship advice from the heart

Mild adult themes (all very err tasteful)

Comments are disabled, blogs names and specific details are omitted out of respect, and as always original content. (I know lol all very mysterious and ever so melodramatic! But hey I do try. 😀 )

A reply of sorts, more so thoughts and musings intended for a blogger I’ve followed for 3 months now, AND for anyone else who cares to read………………. if you smile great, murmur ‘wtf’ better, mutter to yourself ‘mind your own blanking business’ that’s fine, it’s all good good with me. 🙂

I’m unsure if ‘you’ read my posts, if so you’ll hopefully appreciate I’m very honest and err :/ whether I’m good or bad I write whatever’s on my mind at the time, so I’m hoping you accept this evening’s thoughts in the good natured spirit they are written, for my sins lol I enjoy responding to other bloggers posts. Just perhaps call these thoughts from the perspective of a red blooded (nice) guy. 🙂

To begin with, you tag a great many of your posts ‘anxiety’ ‘body image’ and ‘body dysmorphic disorder’, and I don’t take responding to these tags lightly, I’ve read a few internet resources as well as your posts, I’m an empathetic type and just know 🙂 I’ve done my research.

I’ll begin by quoting a paragraph from your most recent blog so that you’ll have an idea as to the direction I’m coming from:

‘……………… has been getting to me more than usual. It could be because every day the wedding draws closer, and so does the honeymoon. This perfect image I have had in my head since I was a teenager of my honeymoon consisting of giggles, laughter and lovemaking is turning into a dream that I can only wish for. No one should have to dream up their honeymoon and never actually live it.’ Hmm very sad to read so let me try to be a little positive and helpful from now on!

I’m unmarried however (and I’m not bragging btw) I have had a fair few sexual partners in my time enough said, I enjoy regular (vaginal sx) however give me the choice of a fantastic body tingling sexual missionary experience OR kissing cuddles intimacy and an emotional connection then I’ll take the latter every single occasion. To me sx with an absence of intimacy is a waste of emotional energy which if has ever happened, always left me deeply depressed…………. but that’s enough about mee!

Here’s a trivial fact for you, might come in handy if you get on ‘Who Wants To Become a Millionaire’, did you know Vatsyayana’s ‘Kama Sutra’ states there are 64 sex positions, SIXTY frigging FOUR for heaven’s sake!!! Jeeze :/ I’ve only tried 6………..no 7, perhaps 8? Oh and he states there are 8 fellatio positions on their own….. apparently! Now talking of fellatio, and I doubt I have to explain what the word means to you readers, I do get side tracked, I commented on your blog this evening, sat down to eat my tea and the idea for this post crystallised once AGAIN into my imagination because I nearly wrote a post similar once before!

Time for a diagram ‘lifted’ from Cosmopolitan magazine,

socialshare-blowjob-1479243025

No more pictures, err I think above explains all!

Sharing with guys ladies and a female reader in mind, I’ve often asked myself do I prefer vaginal sex or having fellatio performed on me? (By a lady) And I have to say, being completely honest, if really pushed for an answer I will say I’d take fellatio every single time, the warmth of the lady’s mouth, wetness of her saliver helping her lips slide up and down my hardness heightens the sexual pleasure to a whole different level, sensual erotic pleasurable and err orgasmic :/ comes to mind. Not forgetting those two magic words intimacy and connection, if the lady is on her knees, gently sucking whilst gazing up at me with her two doe eyes, well all I can say is our emotional connection is almost telepathic or perhaps serotonin dopamine and other pleasure giving chemicals heighten a closeness attachment and love you have with a partner, either way having a woman perform oral sex is a gorgeous out of this world experience and DEEPLY satisfying rewarding even…….. take it from me, the sensory pleasure felt is near fabulously indescribable…….. hmm mee thinks a useful tool for a honeymoon I’d guess! AND take it from me good girls will.

Now that I’ve disabled comments, I find I do have one question, do good girls consider putting their lips around a clean hardness, in their mouths unladylike? Dirty even? Not for me? I hope not because out of all sixty frigging four positions, for a guy fellatio has to be number 1 or 2. However with ONE caveat :/ I’d say the lady has to enjoy blowing for the sx to be truly enjoyable and loving, but I guess ‘practice makes perfect’ as my mother used to say!

Btw these following generic tips are intended for any lovely person reading, whichever your sexual orientation lol it’s all good to me. 🙂

A few BJ tips for any ladies reading, If you’re giving a guy a bj, ask him questions about his likes, guys all enjoy something different, questions like “Shall I use my hands? Do you want me to lick the tip? Am I using enough pressure?” Are I guess added foreplay. Take it from me asking helps to relax a guy, it shows him you’re enjoying what you’re doing, and again personally speaking I’m always asking myself ‘Is she enjoying this?’ A guy won’t experience pleasure unless he knows a partner is!

Jeeze I’ve just caught a glimpse of my wordcount 950 words! Hmm I’ve ‘loads’ more to say so I’d better be brief or my readers will disappear. Communication is key, licking and sucking hard and fast may not be enough and I spent an afternoon with a lady who said she had (no better not say), anyways remember since the age13 boys have taught themselves to masturbate using their hands so licking and sucking may not be enough, I’d suggest a lady alternates stroking with her hand time to time to replicate his boyhood learnt technique also take a breather…………… hope this helps!

1000 words! I’d better share my tips even quicker!

Don’t ignore his balls be sure to kiss and gently tickle, suck if you wish but remember they’re not gobstoppers! And remember guys need foreplay rather than a lady heading straight for the hardness, AND never use your teeth and FINALLY the question of swallowing? Well put it this way a lady I know decided not to, so I guess the saying ‘good girls don’t’ pretty much applies lol.

So in conclusion I’m hoping I haven’t unintentionally offended ANYONE, as always over the past 2 years anything I write is meant to entertain however with this post keeping in mind those important tags of anxiety and body image, I truly believe no other sex position can better fellatio for intimacy pleasure and connecting between 2 human beings, useful on a honeymoon perhaps.

A. Shepherdson. 2018

Kissing girls

Original & © A. Shepherdson. (#humour 🙂 )

(A free shout out to ‘Taylors of Oxford’ Deli!)

First off let me say I’m NOT homophobic, far from it, I’m a ‘live and let live’ kind of guy (as Long as no one gets hurt 🙂 ) whatever makes you happy in life then that’s fine by me. I’ll go further and say a person’s colour or sexuality has NO bearing on me, I take people as I find them so yes ‘live and let live’ ❤ .

Having said that some readers may find my tale err slightly unnerving?
Let me begin. This evening I have a light hearted lesbian story for you, this truly happened oh and just quickly, bare in mind my WordPress is whatever captures my imagination at the time.

I’m fine with lesbians they even feature in a bedtime fantasy of mine, I’ll take a second glance at two women kissing in public, lick my lips ever so slightly only because they don’t bother me, I guess that’s because I’m a heterosexual guy. Then again perhaps the spectacle of two girls kissing in public makes straight women feel icky? Or perhaps social niceties mean we’re of the opinion there’s a time and a place………………. called the bedroom!

I’ll go further and say the sight of two guys openly kissing in public makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, now HOLDON lol before judging me! (He say’s 😉 with tongue firmly in cheek!) I should qualify that statement with I’m not tooo keen on heterosexual couples kissing in public either, making out in full view ‘smacks’ of ‘look at us we’re SO happy’ and I have a feeling the kissing show is intended to make people jealous………. to be honest I’m as jealous as hell.

(Btw did you know threesomes, a guy in bed with two naked lesbians, is a well known male fantasy?)

Course you did!

Am I of the opinion a homosexual couple kissing, for example at a Supermarket Deli counter, will corrupt young minds? No of course not, quite the opposite toddlers would gaze amused bemused and transfixed, and you never know unconcealed same sex affection could possibly make children more accepting? Ask their mum’s tricky questions about homosexuality?

Perhaps there lies the problem.

Now to my true tale, writing passes the evening!

Several years ago a work colleague and myself were standing in a rather long queue of customers waiting to be served at a Shop Deli counter, buying freshly made (and expensive) sandwiches. Well to cut a short story even shorter, directly in front of my friend stood two young women who I’d guess were Uni students. Lovely young women they were, one girl had an arm resting on her friends shoulder in such an affectionate way that it was quite obvious they were in love, gazing longingly into each other’s eyes and YES every so often kissing passionately on the lips! (Almost tongues inside!!)

So they were shamelessly in love, fabulous, and I’d guess everyone in the Deli was well aware of our young couple’s passion for each other.

Then to my utter astonishment! My friend rather loudly says to the two girls,

“That’s disgusting, do you have to do that?”

Well as you’d imagine for a second or two everyone in the shop stopped talking, a hush descended on the Deli with everyone turning and looking, only for a few seconds mind. What happened next was all very civilised, with a complete lack of drama, the girls gave my friend an annoyed stare, stopped petting and all shop life returned to normal as if the brief confrontational interlude had never ever happened.

A very typical reserved English reaction, no drama no arguing, the girl’s paid for whatever (I can’t remember) and leave. Then it’s myself and friend’s turn, we purchased our baguettes headed for the door taking us out into the Main Street, WHERE my friend turns to me and says,

“Where are those girls?…….. I changed my mind……I want to watch!”

Making us both smile as we walked back to work. (To be honest I think he felt a little embarrassed at causing a minor scene back there.) BUT in his defence the girls had p*ssed him off, made him feel very uncomfortable.

As for me, well I’ll have to be honest and say I didn’t mind watching a lesbian show of affection 😀

I could have added for literary effect, the girls were within earshot, an argument ensued, but no the two lovers had disappeared perhaps off to bed? (Hmm there’s a thought 😉 ) And we two reverted back to topical male only conversations, lesbians kissing is a little filthy and quite amusing BUT there’s a time and a place! I never did ask him why he became so angry.

However speaking for myself, if two guys had been kissing and petting in that same Deli, making out directly in front of me in the queue, I’m here to tell you lol I’d become increasingly annoyed to point where I’d no longer be able to hold my tongue, and I’m positive I would politely say,

“Do you mind that’s disgusting!”

Now remember I’m not homophobic but I’ll be honest and say watching two men kissing makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, perhaps male on male intimacy is something I should be more accepting of? What do you think? Being serious for a second, perhaps we’re just biologically programmed to feel uncomfortable watching our identified gender being over intimate with, err a person of the same sex, men or women? Hmm questions for anthropologists to answer.

Does anyone care? No 😀 I say live and let live!

Feel free to share your thoughts in comments below…………. make them harsh lol.

(One final thought before I go, I’d still love a threesome with two naked lesbians, a male erotic fantasy if ever there was one!)

 

© A. Shepherdson 2018