Covid-19 update

I’ve weighed 10 stone my entire adult life, then along comes a health Pandemic and I’m 11 stone 1 and 3/4 lb, and at my age this ‘belly fat’ has to come off soon or it’ll never be shed……. repeated lockdowns aren’t good for the waistline.

And so I sit typing and grazing on a punnet of Peruvian Blueberries!

Here I am pictured above working diligently for my employer, captured by my Smart phone for a reason that eludes me and interesting because minutes after taking these photos, I looked behind to see a colleague of mine rushing out the door having just received a call via the Government informing he’d been in contact with a positive case. Such are the serious times we live in, the unnerving consequence was we all had to return home and self isolate until he’d been tested himself, and that my friends is the closest I’ve come to wondering if I’d caught the disease……………. an anxious two days but he got the all clear and we all returned to machining within our designated bubbles, wearing mandatory PPE and keeping two metres distance which is nigh on impossible, who’d have thought several months earlier that I’d be wearing a face mask the entire day? Not me.

Well so far so good, I’ve been working and commuting by public transport since June 11th 2020 and I haven’t fallen ill to this awful virus, so I’ve either been very lucky or the PPE precautions have worked a treat? Who knows who cares though here’s a few salutary thoughts, the UK is in an awful place with the virus raging out of control with every citizen apart from essential workers being confined to their own home, we’ve 30,000 covid patients in Hospitals from John O Groats to Lands End and I’m confident every Brit knows of someone who’s had or recovering from covid or heartbreakingly has passed away 😦 .

Hope I’m not writing tooo soon! But perhaps the reason I’m still working in a City with high Covid positives is I religiously take sanitizing and hand cleanliness very seriously, and never fail to wear 4 ply mask coverings with pure silk sewn in filters inside shops and riding buses………. in fact after this awful pandemic is behind us I may continue wearing the masks because Coroner will be with us for many months yet and I’ve yet to catch a cold.

A work Colleague of mine survived coroner virus, as did a friend of the family her husband and two daughters who are recovering in baby steps, but looking on the bright side my Great Aunt has had the vaccine, my mother is injected Friday and I’ve several close relatives who’ve received theirs seeing as they are Hospital clinicians. And seeing as I’m a positive soul I’m predicting by April/May the UK will be returning to some sort of normality, with the British Government throwing all resources at getting the Nation vaccinated so living will improve……. finger’s crossed.

On the positive side, I’m rather pleased with myself because I’ve been filling my newly acquired spare time rather productively, yep unusually for me I’ve been reading novels I’d always been curious about namely Joseph Heller’s ‘Catch-22′ and Vladimir Nabokov’ ‘Lolita’ and almost certainly the most disturbing tale I’ve read. I’m going to refrain from writing a review though I’d advise caution if you’re a mother with young daughters, Lolita’s beautifully written and described as a ‘Classic’, but be aware Humbert Humbert’s abuse of a twelve year old girl is a disgusting tale though never sexually graphic, thank God. Yes controversial and banned in the UK under obscenity laws several decades ago, I would advise rather than enjoying reading Lolita, being shown a window into the mind of an abusing pedophile is a disturbing and necessary education…………………..oh go on then here’s my review! The first third is a captivating read, skip the following two thirds because listening to Humbert Humbert’s whining is interminably boring, then finish by reading the final ten pages.

A. Shepherdson 2021

Bubblegum Pink or polka-dot Blue… which colour do you prefer?

Go on say it, “sewing your own masks Andrew? You’d make a good house husband!” (I wish 😀 , spare a thought for me whilst you are riding hubby’s ‘dick’ ‘cowgirl’, I haven’t been laid in 3+ months.)

I’m thinking the ‘bubblegum’ Pink one a tad tooo girly? Perhaps a mask for the super confident young lady who loves to be the centre of attention……… then again see a pretty girl walking in the street dressed in shocking Pink and you’ll think she’s a sex hooker touting for business in a Pandemic!

Anyways where was I? Oh yes covid-19 face masks. F*** me if you said to me way back in January that I’d be making masks on my mum’s sewing machine come summertime, that in the UK you’ll be fined £3000 pounds for riding on a bus not wearing one, that you are breaking British Laws by not wearing a face covering whilst shopping in a supermarket……. well I’d have replied “you really do need to see a Doctor right now!”

Strange times indeed, and tying my posting neatly together who’d have imagined the most viewed videos on YouTube are middle aged American moms using their sewing machines to make yes cotton face masks! I should know I’ve been watching these mommy seamstresses more used to making party dresses for their daughters. But then you already knew this and btw don’t think me flippant, theses ladies videos have millions of viewings because worried parents are making them for friends family and first responders, fabric coverings that may well be the difference between catching coroner virus whilst riding on public transport or not.

Sad times indeed, I limit the amount of covid-19 related news stories I expose myself because I value my own sanity and wish to stave off clinical depression. But from watching News streams from across the globe this past 3 months, experts DON’T appear to agree on anything apart from wearing face masks in public areas stops the spread of coroner virus, they may not stop you catching it mind, but if you’re coughing sneezing and spreading this horrible virus asymptomatically, fabric cloths covering your nose also mouth will (may) protect others around you.

So returning to my original question, which colour do you prefer? (To be continued.)

A. Shepherdson 2020

YES that’s me wearing a face mask on the Bus

Oh and 3 guesses as to what the ‘green tick’ on the window means?

Way back in January 2020 if a colleague had said to me “come summertime you’ll be wearing a face mask on the Bus everyday to work”, my disbelieving reply would probably have been “are you smoking those ‘funny’ cigarettes again?”

Nope I never ever thought this day would happen!

I’m employed by a historic and world renowned educational institution, students from S. Korea China Taiwan Hong Kong….. ‘fly here’ to study for a Degree, and even before March 2020 one similarity set them apart from every other nationality yes the majority wore face masks.

Fast forward to July 2020 and ‘wander walk’ the city streets of Oxford whilst NOT wearing a face mask, and you’ll stand out like a proverbial ‘sore thumb’ to such a point people will stare, others may throw a disapproving glare or incredulous unbelieving double-take, accompanied with thoughts of ‘look at that idiot NOT wearing a face covering!’ This evil covid-19 has changed the world in so many ways to such a point you’ll now be considered weird and foolhardy for not wearing a mask in public.

(Btw travel on public transport in the UK not wearing a mask and you’ll get two years in prison! Only joking, but you will have to pay a £25 fine.)

Nope to be perfectly honest I never thought I’d wear a mask in my lifetime, what’s more I now definitely feel naked when not wearing one but something else has changed, face masks are now a fashion statement, girls are wearing brightly coloured wacky patterned ones, cool classy business ladies wearing stylish Chanel or Gucci ones, hell I even saw at the weekend a young guy masked with a blush pink one! Fair play he was either gay or someone with an irreverent sense of humour. So yes we’re all well aware this virus is asymptomatic airborne spread, but it’s celebrities and influencers who’ve made face mask fashion cool and trendy, a cool extension of your personality, a statement of individuality.

As you can see I’ve opted for boring natural unassuming white cotton, but I have seen a pussycat face covering adorned with whiskers and the girl looked pretty sensational in Tesco’s. Long may this fabulous trend continue I say, and what a brilliant way to help combat a disease that indiscriminately kills young or old alike 😦 !

What’s more experts tell us face masks will help stop the spread of other airborne diseases like pneumonia, common coroner colds, SARS, influenza…… and when used with carbon filters they’ll improve lung health from the disastrous effects of car exhaust pollutants………………… Yep the global trend for wearing face masks is probably the silver lining to this airborne coroner dark cloud, stylish colourful and trendy long may this wonderful face mask phenomenon continue 🙂 .

(One important caveat, I read this lunchtime face masks are a disaster for those who lip read, (deep sigh)………. Oh dear 😦 )

A. Shepherdson 2020

Hand sewn Face masks made by my mother

I don’t mean to scare any readers, but yes that is a photo of me and very rare it is to on this Blog! Modelling my mother’s hand sewn face mask she made me also other u family relations, btw extremely impressive they are to.

After 13 weeks agonisingly tedious legally enforced lockdown I’ve now returned to work, fantastic news. My Boss phoned to ask if I was interested in coming back, no pressure was made and the decision was completely voluntary, consequently without any hesitation I answered yes before really asking all the detail. Soon after I was forwarded risk assessments, method statement, photos of how the inside of the building looks with direction arrows on the walls, and yes I’m aware there are risks of possibly catching this blessed Covid-19 (possibly dying even), but jeeze we cannot all remain locked in our homes forever!

So as of last Thursday I returned, THEN Boris Johnson passed a law saying that from this past Monday, wearing face protection is to be mandatory on all public transport (or pay a £25 fine!) I commute by bus so now along with 20 other passengers we all have to wear a face mask, however it’s not tooo uncomfortable, and public transport will only be the beginning because I believe anyone visiting Hospital or the Dentist has to wear a mask……. as did my plumber when he came to service my central heating boiler!

Face masks, directional arrows on the floor, and sanitizer dispensers fixed to the wall are the new normality, get used to these restrictions or remain locked inside your home for evermore……. lol the choice is yours. Incidentally face mask prices are beginning to drop on Amazon which is fantastic, hundreds of manufacturers jumped into the market consequently there’s tooo many masks and prices are being cut, yay that’s called the ‘Law of Supply and Demand’ in a Free Market.

Face masks contain filters and below are links to two US army websites who’ve tested every filter material imaginable…… Jeye cloths hand-towels and coffee filters included.

Chemical Biological Centre tests homemade face coverings

Army Researchers say this is the best material for a homemade face mask filter they’ve found so far

A. Shepherdson 2020

Guarding the Tower of London

🙂 A reminder of happier days.

I hope it goes without saying these photographs were taken by myself, ‘snapped’ during a daytrip visit 2019 to the Tower of London, incidentally an earlier posting tells the tale of how ravens came to be residents at the historic ‘Tower’.

Hopefully one day we’ll adjust to a New Normality, I don’t think life will ever return to the happy carefree days before this awful pandemic, however we human beings have always adapted to our surroundings, through out World War 2 my four Grandparents became accustomed to food shortages restrictions and hardship, they grew their own fruit and veg, my Grandmother pickled perishable produce to extend it’s life well into autumn and winter and COVID-19 is no different. Both young people and the young at heart will adapt to the New Normal whatever that may be. 🙂

On a more personal note I’ve set myself a goal. As of yesterday our Government is beginning to loosen its grip on ‘lockdown’, people are tentatively returning to work, social distancing remains and probably will for the foreseeable or possibly for evermore, and everyone is nervously hopeful there won’t be a second spike………… finger’s crossed but I’m far from hopeful.

🙂 I’ve set myself a personal goal, on the first day restrictions are lifted to visiting The Tower of London, I’m going to take a day’s holiday from work and have myself a daytrip to our wonderful capital City……….. oh and without forgetting my face mask!

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Guarding the Tower today are soldiers from The Grenadier Guards (lol says so on the sign!)

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These bronze 6- pounder guns were fired at the ‘Battle of Waterloo’ commanded by The Duke of Wellington, they’re individually named and saw action in various parts of Napoleon’s Europe 1813….. yep the ‘Battle of Waterloo’ no less!

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Grenadier Guardsman resplendent in robin red tunic and rich brown bearskin…. which incidentally are now made from fake fur, damn vegans!

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Sentry boxes such as these can be seen ‘dotted’ around the Tower grounds….. I guess they’re good cover because did you know it rains a lot in the UK?

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I was pleasantly surprised to see the Grenadier Guards were on duty, resplendent in their scarlet red tunics and probably the most recognisable regiment in the British Army.

 

A. Shepherdson 2020

 

Chinese ‘filthy’ meat Markets

Having ‘a good rant’ is a great way of ridding yourself from frustrations and is strangely therapeutic.

You have been forewarned! 🙂

Definition of a wet market: A place where animals for human consumption are freshly slaughtered but not chilled, apparently Chinese have an appetite for warm meat!

Please look at this photograph below. Taken in a Chinese meat Market I’m both saddened and angry thinking to myself ‘are these shop owners f###ing insane?’ At what point do these morons pictured think it’s acceptable to sell food for human consumption in such insanitary conditions, dirty and germ-ridden unclean unhygienic environments so disgusting as to be a danger to human health! Beggars belief, and heaven knows how unclean the killing abattoirs and slaughter houses must look like because I can only imagine they’d be worse…… could animal butchery actually BE any worse?

Coronavirus Outbreak Crisis - Hong Kong
A Chinese meat Market shop & shopkeeper

Open Shop fronts (and I apply the word ‘Shop’ loosely), rows of Market stalls devoid of glass windows keeping flies outside displaying fresh cuts of meat, tables open to the elements exposed to dirty rain droplets, unclean food ‘outlets’ populated with filthy Chinese humans wandering past no doubt handling and prodding meat joints, motorcars driving past throwing up dirt and soil, belching carbon and sulphur from their exhausts contaminating meat products, and I ask you, in what world does a Trader think this acceptable?

(Google ‘Chinese meat Market’ but be forewarned there ARE photos worse than this, then again perhaps don’t!)

Oh and not forgetting the flies and insects landing and s###ing on the meat, infecting carcasses with disease ridden soon to hatch maggots, and where’s the temperature controlled refrigerators? Where’s the obligatory chest freezers always visible to the rear of a butcher’s shop? And don’t tell me ‘all flat surfaces’ are washed down with clean water and disinfectant at the end of the day, like they are in the UK. And I’m left wondering are those cuts of meat from different species of animal, pig and boar hams hanging on skewers beside goat corpses, raw chicken legs in the same blood filled trays along with cattle steaks? And don’t get me started on pathogen infected pangolins and bats…… No wonder thousands of people are dying each and everyday in Europe and all because these deplorable Market Traders gave zero consideration to public health, the tragic consequence a COVID-19 global pandemic!

The repercussions are heart wrenching and yet totally avoidable 😦 .

I’m left asking myself are the reasons for this mindless stupidity cultural? Or are these morons just ignorant and uneducated, unaware their insanitary conditions breed infections and disease that ultimately kill humans, or do these Shopkeepers turn a blind eye to Chinese food hygiene standards (and apparently they do exist) because if the answer’s yes, then they are guilty of murder!

Incredibly and sadly, Wuhan’s wet Market is again open for business 😦 …… wild animal bush meat anyone?

 

A. Shepherdson 2020

‘Over and down your Mons Pubis’

🙂 #Fun erotica.

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……..and you should have seen the ‘googled’ pics I could’ve used 😮

Or the art of enjoying cunnilingus and fellatio during a crisis.

Lockdown oral? Err sounds a little like a weird sexual fetish involving chains padlocks, gleaming patent black bustiers and micro skirts made of PVC, black leather boots shrouding a ‘Dom’s’ creamy white thighs, and bedroom wardrobes large enough to lock a guy inside….. apparently? No don’t be silly, I’m of course referring to couples having sex whilst voluntary cocooned in COVID-19 isolation, sorry, house arrest or legally enforceable home detention now that Boris’s emergency legislation is enshrined in British Law.

He f#cked up but that’s politics for you, now let’s return to my posting about sex 😀 .

I’m beginning to feel jealous of all you happily married couples, you know, laying in bed together early mornings, gently awakening your beloved with a stroking rhythmically sensual hand relief the perfect start to a stressful lockdown day, or gifting hubby a relaxing sensory bj now that you have all this free time on your hands, oh and sloppy wet which goes without saying, slurps of drooling warm saliva lubricating his purple bellend, your mouth wide open full, the tip of your tongue kissing his perineum sure to put any man in a good mood for the remaining day, hmm I’d guess blowing hubby regularly is the secret to a long and happy marriage?

And perhaps if you are a lucky girl, after he’s ‘come’ and you’ve either spat or swallowed, he’ll then gently roll you over laying a warm to touch hand on your tummy, gently circle his dextrose fingertips that drag and pull at the skin sending tingles down your spine, releasing pleasurable chemicals into your brain. The anticipation of a touch to your kitty making the arch of your back wriggle and squirm, your needful body now pleading to be pleasured by orgasm. Though his idle hand won’t linger long before a smoothing silky skinned palm moves down below, slipping beneath your pantie hemline you hardly notice the delicate lacy fabric being lifted and disturbed, and now inside your damp cotton underwear an open hand glides over and down your mons pubis, the involuntary signal to part your thighs ever so slightly more, divide that precious curtained entry to your cave of jewels emeralds and rubies, folds of sticky labia parting to reveal kitten soft skin and the unspoken invitation to touch your moistened wet kitty.

Yes after blowing your betrothed an early morning orgasm, he’ll be excited enough to return your favour, of course he’ll slip off your delicate underwear from shapely legs, his firm hand now pulling at your inner thigh as he repositions himself between wide parted legs, the wider you stretch tight muscles the wider your vaginal canal will be, now aroused ‘bucking’ and hard again, he’s invited to nuzzle his face deep into your pleasure garden and feast upon your sweet nectar, you gasp throw your head back as the tip of his tongue dances like a twirling skater on ice……..….jeeze writing this nonsense has given even me a hard on! Way tooo many metaphors Andrew! 😀

Blissfully happy you’ll lay deep into soft cotton bedding wanting his cunnilingus skills to last forever, well at least until you’d ‘come’! And hopefully IMPORTANTLY climaxing before freshly woken children run to the bathroom spoiling the fun, then again I guess you could both do a ’69 position’ and cut the foreplay time by half? Yep I wish I was married, I’m sooo jealous of all you lucky horny couples now gifted hours of free time to enjoy early morning sex and (lockdown) Oral.

 

(Written Just or Fun and spare a thought for me, I haven’t slept with a woman in well over a month.)

©A. Shepherdson 2020

‘Social Distancing’ comes easy to us Brits

‘I wake of a morning, stare at the light bulb dangling from the ceiling and question myself, is this chaos for real? (Big sigh) Tragically yes it is 😦 .’

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Queuing comes easy to us born and bred Brits, my Grandparents living through two World Wars became accustomed to decades of food rationing, the ability to queue patiently is in our DNA……. picture taken by me waiting to enter a Supermarket to buy food and notice the security guards! Boris’s Government is doin ok, the Country’s pulling together 3 new hospitals are being built as we speak, the UK is working to a plan and long may this continue 🙂 .

We Brits are adjusting relatively easy to social distancing, 🙂 doesn’t surprise me actually.

Rationing queues outside grocery shops existed well into the early 1950’s, my mother still has her now treasured ‘Ministry Of Food’ rationing books kept from when she was a child, my Grandmother told me she’d join orderly queues affront food shops NOT wanting anything in particular, only that there was always an off chance a delivery of either fruit meat or veg was waiting to be distributed………. like I said, queueing just might be in our DNA! (Ok no… but you get the idea.)

Evelyn Dunbar, The Queue at the Fish Shop. 1945
Evelyn Dunbar ‘The queue at the Fish Shop’ and notice the grey drab clothing, the not so Great Britain was bankrupt!

THE WEEKLY RATION FOR TWO PEOPLE, UK, 1943
Late 1940s Weekly food rations for 2 people whether they be rich or poor! And the reason both my Grandfathers kept chickens, one even grew his own vegetables on two ‘allotments’……… in fact the allotment concept still exists to this day… and look at that cheese…… for TWO! 

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28 Housewives waiting in a line………….. I’m saying nothing! 😀

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Food rationing a common sight in Villages Towns and Cities across the UK

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…… and those who haven’t a clue as to what I talking about, the ‘allotment’ garden is a throwback to WWII, and who knows they just might become a common sight once again? 

 

A. Shepherdson 2020

Corona virus, Toilet rolls & Supermarkets

Pictured below you see empty toilet roll shelves in my local ‘Waitrose’, have you noticed the guy looking in my direction? I’d describe him as an interested spectator watching me taking photographs earlier this afternoon, funnier still a minute or so earlier, he’d ALSO been photographing these same empty supermarket shelves!

Rather self consciously I pocketed my smart phone, carried on walking, moments later pausing to exchange a perplexed friendly comment, then he said, 

Guy with the bald head: “These empty shelves, is it because of the corona virus?”

Me: “I think so…. people appear to be panic buying.”

Guy with the bald head: “Utterly bizarre!”

Me: “Yes… I couldn’t agree more.”

…………. and with that, the two of us grinning men went our separate ways to continue an evening’s grocery shopping.

I’ve a suggestion use newspapers in place of toilet roll as my great grandparents would have done, cut out photos of Donald Trump and Boris Johnson and take great pleasure and satisfaction using them to wipe your ass!

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My local Waitrose this evening, notice the empty toilet tissue shelves, wtf?

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Then I walk around the next isle, and there’s enough bottles of alcohol to open your own Wine Bar.

Am I missing something? Has a News story passed me by saying the world’s toilet roll producing factories are closing down? That there’s a global shortage of carboard tubing used to bind tissue paper around? Could it be when you catch Corona Virus one of the symptoms is uncontrollable diarrhea?

If you know the answer please do tell 🙂 .

I am genuinely dumbstruck, face masks and bottles of disinfectant yes, but switch on your TV, or read your browser’s News feed and whether you live in London New York or Florence Italy, the world’s Supermarket shelves are emptying of toilet loo rolls.

Uh?

Panic buying makes me angry, a distasteful spectacle of human being’s at their most ugly, displays of greed and selfishness, the hoarding of food and a total lack of respect for others. For goodness sake we have an abundance of groceries and there’s plenty enough for everyone, I’d guess one News outlet filmed an empty toilet roll shelf, people rushed to their Supermarkets, a snowball effect ensued and before you know it there’s a worldwide retail shortage of toilet rolls.

Are we witnessing globalisation at its most terrifying, a shortage in ONE retail outlet triggering a global rush for food clothing petrol whatever, or is this an evolutionary throwback to dinosaur times, when berries growing on trees came into season and bountiful and cavemen felt the sudden urge to forage for food, collect hoard and store fruit before a diplodocus hoovered them up from the forest floor.

I have to agree with my bald headed Supermarket friend, “utterly bizarre!” 

 

A. Shepherdson 2020