So what shall I write about this evening? Why not the voluptuous fulsome breasted screen actress Susan Sarandon…… and why not, regular readers to this my WordPress will realise by now this is a blog devoid of one single theme…………. and remember this is a JFF post not to be taken tooo seriously 🙂 .
Age shouldn’t matter when discussing whether a woman is sexy or not, but the shallow society we live in I’m afraid a woman’s age will still hug the headlines, as for me the best sex I’ve ever enjoyed has been with women over 50, Karina and Kamilla were their names and no we weren’t down and dirty in some sordid threesome, I met them both separately and the ladies were fun amusing confident and drop dead sexy, they gave great head and were fabulous lovers between the sheets
Anyways that’s enough about me.
Released March 20 here in the UK, Susan Sarandon 73 has a steamy threesome in the new movie ‘Jesus Rolls’, I obviously haven’t seen the film yet, but depending on the critics reviews I will go watch because I’ve always had a soft spot for Susan, and not only because of her large fulsome breasts and Red Carpet cleavage revealing dresses.
Susan’s new movie is both a remake of French film ‘Going Places’ and a spin off to the cult film the ‘Big Lebowski’ by the Coen’s brothers, I’m intrigued already and let’s hope the reviews are complementary. At one point in the movie, Jesus (not Christ) jumps into bed with Susan after her character ‘Jean’ is released from prison and celebrates by having a threesome……. whether she gets her boobs out remains to be seen?
No stranger to these roles, Susan starred in ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ playing ‘Janet Weiss’, a sexy lady wearing virgin white bra and panties, the songs are awesome and Rocky Horror remains one of my all time favourite movies….. incidentally ‘Janet’ spends half the movie in her underwear!
Away from films, Susan’s no stranger to looking drop dead gorgeous on award ceremony red carpets, and often strealing the headlines from younger ‘prettier’ actresses. In my humble opinion Susan exudes feminine sexuality so why not reveal your assets even at age 70? I say if you have them, flaunt them and f#ck all those mortally offended trolls on Twitter.
Never shy of controversy Susan played the character ‘Hattie’, a prostitute in the 1979 film ‘Pretty Baby’, I’ve never watched the movie, but apparently the child prostitution storyline makes it diffucult viewing that’s still dividing critics…….and apart from going to see Susan’s fabulous plump high round boobs, this storyline doesn’t really appeal.
To sum up lol, if a beautiful actress remains drop dead sexy into her seventies, then I say keep on playing sexy roles for age is but a number, I’m hoping ‘Jesus Trolls’ is well worth a visit to the cinema so let’s wait and see.
Finally I make no apologies for sharings photos of Susan’s boobs and plunging cleavage, lol my WordPress so there! 😛
Tagged #Just For Fun and #sex-education info with no… and I do mean NO accompanying dick selfies, that’s just plain disgusting and just so as you know I’ve never texted one in my life nor ever will.
Regular readers to this WordPress just might remember a recent Birthday post, lol probably not, well one particular phrase has been ‘pricking’ my imagination ever since…..
“But I can still achieve an erection so ‘phew’ life’s not all bad.”
……… so I guess that makes this evening’s a prompted response? Incidentally pictured below a cartoon lifted from the net……. made me smile, 🙂
A question for you, do dick jokes make you laugh? If the answer’s yes, I’ve 3 Male erection jokes lifted from the internet and hopefully you’ll find them as amusing as I did 🙂… though keep in mind I’ve the sense of humour of a 13year old, but then haven’t all men?
1: The Priest and the Nun
A Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.
After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation and after a long period of silence, the Priest spoke:
‘Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.’ ‘I know, Father. In fact, I don’t think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two..’ ‘I agree,’ says the Father. ‘Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?’ ‘Anything, Father.’ ‘I have never seen a woman’s breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours.’ ‘Well, under the circumstances I don’t see that would do any harm.’
The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty:
‘Father, could I ask something of you?’ ‘Yes, Sister?’ ‘I have never seen a man’s penis. Could I see yours?’ ‘I suppose that would be OK,’ the Priest replied, lifted his robe, and almost immediately he was sporting a huge erection. ‘Sister, you know that if I insert this in the right place, it can breath new life!’ ‘Is that true Father?’ ‘Yes, it is, Sister.’ ‘Oh Father, that’s wonderful … now stick it in our camel and let’s get the fuck out of here!’
2: A man goes to the Doctor for a prostate exam.
The Doctor puts on his rubber glove and asks the man to bend over, he inserts a finger in his ass and begins the checkup.
After a minute or so the doctor says, “Don’t worry, it’s very normal to get an erection during this exam.”
A little confused, the man turned and replied, “But I don’t have an erection?”
Doctor. “Yeh I know… but I do!”
3: Two guys standing on the end of a pier, peeing.
“Man that water’s cold.”
“Sure is — deep, too.”
All very tame reading, anyways they made me laugh and I did enjoy the Nun and Priest story.
So before reading this evening’s posting, tell me honestly could you explain the biological mechanics to a guy achieving an erection? Well truthfully I couldn’t have, still at the age of 54 my erect penis is as hard as a rod of iron, and being serious fo a second I thank the Lord I’m still able to get it up……… omg I cannot imagine the mental anguish and emotional suffering erectile dysfunction brings to a marraige, I’m not fooling around, any medical condition is awful and truly upsetting fot those concerned 😦 .
What IS an Erection? An erection starts in your brain. Something you saw, felt, smelled, heard, or thought makes your nerves send chemical messages to the blood vessels in your penis. The arteries relax and open up to let more blood flow in; at the same time, the veins close up. Once blood is in the penis, pressure traps it within the corpora cavernosa. Your penis expands and holds the erection. When the inflow of blood stops and the veins open, your penis becomes soft.
Having never used a cock ring in my life before, I’d suggest the point to this sex-aid will be trapping blood within the penis thereby holding his erection, and then I guess you can enjoy sexual relations to your heart’s content? Or until the kitty feels chafed and a little sore?
……. and again tell me honestly, did you know the biological definition of Ejaculation? I didn’t before this evening, I’d suggest we’ve either been on the receiving end of one, or have masturbated since being small children and just so as you know I jack off no more than three times a week, which according to the internet is about a guy’s average, the regularity dependant on whether our secretary at work flashes her right boob in my direction. I nearly ejaculated right in middle of a Group meeting for heaven’s sake!
What IS an Ejaculation? When you’re aroused, tubes called the vas deferens squeeze sperm from the testes toward the back of the urethra. The seminal vesicles also release fluid there. The urethra senses the sperm and fluid mixture. Then, at the height of sexual excitement, it sends signals to your spinal cord, which in turn sends signals to the muscles at the base of your penis. These contract powerfully and quickly, every 0.8 seconds. This forces the semen out of the penis as you climax.
Women reveal on Twitter, they’ve had a frigging enough of men sending dick pictures, they’re neither fun or funny, more to the point disgusting enough to make them gag, and the act of texting is both sinister and predatory…. like I said, just so as you know I’ve never sent one in my life.
So what of me? And regular readers to this WordPress will know I love talking about meee. Well seeing as you’re interested thank the Lord I’ve never had trouble achieving or maintaining an erection, btw 160mm is above average and we all know how size matters to us men, we’re very insecure when discussing our penis lengths, and like I’ve said before I’m a 5 minute ride to copulation kinda guy, any thoughts of maintaining my hardness for 2 hour marathon sex sessions are a complete anathema, perhaps I should buy a cock ring?
Nah I’ll give rubber devices a miss.
A jewel of inspirirational thought ‘hit me’ around about my Birthday, perhaps not the momentous awful day itself, anyways there I was standing beneath a hot steaming shower, as hot as I can physically bare, and I can picture myself now gazing down at my flaccid softened penis and saying to myself ‘omg you are over 50 years old!’ And yes we men do refer to our dicks as third party, now that’s a fair old age for such an important organ, over half a century we’ve been joined together and lol like I keep reaffirming, thank God the old man still works!
If ‘he’ no longer ejaculated, I’d honestly be beside myself with grief after enjoying a lifetime’s orgasmic pleasure, and still to this day I’m impressed by the visual display, watching it harden before my incredulous gaze, and the speed of erection never fails to astonish me, quite literally watching blood engorge from 50mm-160mm in less than 3 seconds is nothing short of amazing, and they harden at most inopportune sometimes embarrassing times, jeeze the tricks nature plays can be simply breathtaking.
Talking of the women I have slept with (and you can read many a true tale here on my blog) my erect penis has never reduced a woman to laughter, when dropping my boxers I always make a point of watching her face, hoping for a reaction, perhaps a shy lick of the lips soon followed by warm palms working their magic on my member, stoking fondling rolling dextrous fingers around the bellend, and from my experience women very nearly love my erection as much as I do. Incredibly I’ve never had to ask a woman to take me in her mouth but then does any man? Hmm that always appears to be a voluntary reaction on seeing a penis she likes… because believe me when I say size matters!
AND thankfully women cannot talk when their mouth’s are full! 😀
Haha that’s quite enough silliness for one blog post, I was about to wax lyrical on the joy’s of penetration but I’ll leave that ‘masterpiece’ for another day……. yep in conclusion I do still love my erect penis 😊.
………….and finally to the British comedian Billy Connolly’s thoughts on getting old, “never ever waste an erection.”
So what’s your preferred length of erection? Discuss 😉 .
The reason for this post is? Thinking aloud that’s all, idle thoughts🙂…… I’m neither whinging or feeling sorry for myself, employment is my choice to make and I know how lucky I really am.
Now just so as you know I’m NOT complaining, ok! I’m one of the lucky few to be in full time secure employment, for now, let’s see what horrors Brexit hopefully doesn’t have in store because, well there are good reasons why high European import taxes may effect my employer’s profitability, perhaps Brexit uncertainty is the reason for my unhappiness or perhaps there are darker reasons? Anyways that’s enough introspection for present…. perhaps there’ll be further thoughts to follow.
I awake every weekday morning at 5.45am, I battle a commuter 45minute bus journey to work, then work from 7.30am to 4.30pm, come late afternoon I battle an even longer return commuter journey home, only to walk through my front door at 5.30 evening time……. lol the same routine 40 weeks a year as I have done since age 16 years, but like I said I’m so very fortunate because a great many people don’t have paid employment and I’m FOREVER reminding myself how lucky I really am, but 16-54 years for heaven’s sake 😀 perhaps I should have changed carreers at age 30? Perhaps I’d be happier if I was married, then again blogger Skinny and Single said to me, “be careful what you wish for”.
Two videos this evening, me operating a metal turning lathe another featuring my workbench, the very same bench I first stood before 10 lol years ago.
Incidentally I’m NOT complaining, I enjoy my job and the 12 hours of my life everyday is worth it, pay’s the bills…… but what’s life all about, I mean what an earth is the meaning of life? I guess love your family also as much sex as you can find seems about right.
After re reading, the word ‘perhaps’ doesn’t half feature a lot, night all.
“And here’s me thinking I knew everything there was to know about women’s fashion….. turn’s out I didn’t”
I have a female breast tale for you this evening and if you’ve not read this blog before you won’t know of my (healthy) breast obsession, oh how I adore those warm squidgy bundles of fun ❤️.
As god is my witness, until researching this evening’s photos the phrase ‘button down boob gap’ was unknown to me, and here’s me assuming I knew everything there was to know about knickers bras and ladies lingerie, I’m a man of the world so how on earth did this phrase pass me by? For heaven’s sake there’s even a YouTube sewing video teaching women the tricks to avoiding this dreaded ‘peek-a-boob’ gap, and I’d suggest when a lady’s dressing of a morning or trying on a new blouse in a fashion shop fitting room, one thought will be on her mind….. ‘this blouse isn’t working you can still see my bra. ‘
Or for the more outspoken female readers amongst you….. ‘WTF! MY TITS ARE SHOWING!’
The organisation I’m employed by has a new female employee, a lovely lady what’s more she suffers from a delightful busty girl problem, jeeze how much personal detail can I divulge without landing me in hot water, just imagine the hoo-hah this post could create if heaven forbid she actually read it!
Oh well not to worry ‘in for a penny in for a pound’ as they say….
I’ll be completely honest with you dear readers, the lady I’m about to describe just might not bare resemblance to our lady at work, many people to their cost upload info onto the internet, fail to forget those ghosts and lurkers reading your blog might well know you in person…….. oh yes! So with anonymity clearly in mind hopefully my co-worker wouldn’t couldn’t recognise herself, now there’s a satisfying conceit if she suspected.
So let’s begin, 9.00am prompt last Friday morning, seated around an expansive meeting room table picture an assortment of professional men and women ranging from age 23-65, quite a demographic spread with the majority a male orientation, incidentally there’s a fair few cross dressing ‘trans people’ floating around our department but that’s a whole different blog post……. without googling does trans mean they’ve had their testicles removed? Or would that be transvestite?… God knows I’m too old to care.
Keep on message Andrew. You need to appreciate these weekly conferences are sooo boring, attendance is compulsory and so we’re told ‘essential’ but the jury’s out and I’m still to be convinced. Just so as you know, this table I’d liken to Christ’s final supper with the important Holy One keeping this tiresome charade in track. Now for the sex interest, seated to our messiah’s left sits his trusting secretary and just so as you know I’m in turn seated at right angles to this age 50 lady…… picture the scene, common you can work it out!
I’m an extra within this tiresome pantomime, my place is listen not to speak and mentally take notes for the following weeks tasks, so there I sat reclining back in my cushioned chair, facing the Holy One but three metres away, then omg several minutes in my attention’s suddenly drawn to our secretary’s ample bosom, a fine looking woman let’s call Clementine shall we. The first fleeting thrill of a Friday morning is her entrance for she wears age appropriate short dresses in summer, pleated skirts and sheer black stockings in winter, and believe me the penis anticipates her choice of hemline, now here’s a thought how many others are dreaming of sexual relations with sweet Clementine?
Absentmindedly listening to these lovely yet rather self important individuals is boring, but realising there’s a subplot, people vying for good favour can be entertaining and oh yes there’s plenty of bs! I invariably spend the entire meeting quietly people watching for if truth be told my presence is invisible to these intellectual superstars. Hopefully unaware, my eyes darted around the room often returning to gaze at Clementine’s bosom, a busty lady today wearing a buttercup yellow ‘button down blouse’ and floral skirt…… I’ve changed the colours but lol you guessed that anyway.
Studiously writing and scribbling down notes, a concentrated gaze never broken from her sheet paper minutes, time to time Clementine paused all the while listening intently to God’s weary sermon, she’d look up, then recline again to her prim up-right position, and omg it’s then I noticed as this lady’s blouse floated back and forth, a gaping hole appeared between the blouse buttons shrouding her bosom……. that caught my attention I can tell you!
Jeeze, I’d sell my soul for a squeeze and suck of her tits.
Now, I’m safe in the knowledge this lady’s most important weekly task is to take notes then later disseminate via email to present attendees, I’m safe then, she’s now dutifully employed and I’m captivated watching her large at a guess DD breasts, btw a fantasy induced wet dream of mine is to bend her over that table, pull her knickers down and thrust my penis from behind, but again that’s a whole other blog post.
Just so as you know I’m safe in the knowledge Clementine’s unfazed by my wicked attention, with breasted torso rocking back and forth, a small window would appear revealing yes her right breast, a pale pink blush in colour nestling within a padded half cup of white fabric, delicately cushioned, absent of frilly lace and a little grey having seen the inside of many a washing machine tub.
Yes Clementine this Friday morning suffered a wardrobe malfunction created by a combination of faulty blouse design and very large tits, massive boobs that today naturally separated resting to Clem’s sides and a half cup bra that was at a guess a touch tooo loosely fitting, ‘omg’ I thought to my self.. ‘ you’re showing an awful lot of skin’…. definitely not a Wonderbra.
My penis hardened regularly last Friday morning half gazing through Clementine’s button down boob gap, incidentally throughout my lifetime a vision I’ve clocked many occasions before, and I’m wondering now whether I’ll watch her erotic clothing performance ever again. For twenty minutes I half gazed at her right curvacious boob, half expecting a nipple areola to appear, I’m telling you now I was half expecting a rim of chocolate brown to pop out, my guess is yes, from my experience big breasted women with pendulous drooping breasts empty if milk after suckling several babies are expansive and brown, yep my educated knowledge tells me Clem’s areola wasn’t far off from revealing a nip slip….. oh well perhaps that joyous experience reveals itself another Friday morning.
I guess my only concern is one of feminine intuition, she studiously takes notes gazing thoughtfully toward the table, but is Clementine aware of piercing eyes gazing through her blouse ‘button down boob gap’? Truly scrumptious, who’d have guessed this phenomenon has a name, I didn’t!
Without wishing to repeat myself, but I’m going to anyway, I did indeed date a lady blogger I first met on the internet, we’ll name Maria shall we? Yes I met her on the internet and Maria befits a lady of around age 50, well I’m not gonna call her Rhiannon am I?
Funny how people’s names follow generational trends.
I digress. Let’s be more specific shall we, Maria blogged on WordPress as did I, not this blog, no my first had to be hastily deleted because this irate woman tracked me down, I knew her and it’s a longgggg story!
I’m possibly unique amongst internet daters, probably unusual in that I’ve featured on various platform genres, a traditional designed and specifically catering for middle aged lonely hearts, another with let’s less loftier ideals, commitment free, morally questionable, not so much a dating app as a meeting for drinks and probably hopefully for sex…… btw we’re not talking Tinder!
Though I’d love to.
So how did our WordPress relationship begin? I first commented a post written by Maria several years ago, I’d never set eyes on her before and meeting her in the flesh for real was the last thought on my/our minds, but life has a funny way of taking you in directions you’d never envisaged.
My advice to youngsters, learn to be flexible, the life you hoped for at sixteen probably wont play out as you expected.
My blogging adventure first began purely for reading pleasure, captivated by a genre known as sex blogs, middle aged women writing of extramarital affairs, exciting tales of gang gangs and hot steamy sex, thrilling passionate romance and looking back who knows if their tales were true?……. Fabulous reads leaving only one question, how does a guy’s penis remain hard for hours upon end?
I’m gonna go off message again ‘for a mo’, because I have trouble staying ‘hard’ for any longer than ten minutes, a lady and I will strip naked, we’ll kiss and cuddle, excitement builds, breath quickens as engorged blood flows, we’ll lay upon the bed, I’ll slip inside and however hard I try to delay ejaculation…… five minutes later and I’m spent! One time I excited myself tooo such an extent massaging my partner’s naked back, oiled palms pressing into warm skin, smoothing strokes the length of her spine, her face turned to one side serene relaxed and content, then came my turn for some sexy fun, my lady lowered her mouth over my purple bellend, drew me across her tongue before seconds later creamy semen burst inside her mouth…… do I suffer from premature ejaculation or hyper excitement?
“Sophie… I’m sorry” I sheepishly apologised!
“It happens” she glumly replied, cum dripping from her pretty lips.
Where was I? Oh yes Maria the WordPress blogger! Soon after reading her postings, or perhaps I’d just started my own I cannot remember, as happens we kinda made a connection here on WordPress, over time we became blog pals, our comment chat became longer, evermore personal in nature for I am a friendly personable guy. I guess a trust blossomed over the coming months, singular replies became commentary threads, neither had alteria motives, neither expected or wished for any more than friendly evening conversation, but as you do, we shared thoughts honesty and experiences I certainly hadn’t admitted to other women and certainly not on the internet!….. and cutting a long story short, hilarity fun and truthfulness ensued.
Maria wasn’t so much a sex blogger she posted photos of her voluptuous large round breasts, nipples pieced with hoops of gold, ass cheeks, tasteful naked body shots but never showing her face… nope if I ever walked past Maria in the street, I wouldn’t have battered an eye and nor she. Her blog was far from slutty though, a warm caring personality flowed from her text, I was smitten by this happy go lucky rather sweet natured middle aged lady, if a little overweight but then again I’m no hunk!
Well several enjoyable flirty months passed, I posted photos of myself lying naked on my bed (never done that before or since) and God knows nudity was my last intention when I first started….. though ours was all good clean adult fun. Three or four months passed happily then we exchanged email addresses and moved to private correspondence, btw never again, take it from me email romantic relationships (I’ve had four) can only go so far before they become……
Well the day came when we first exchanged photos, finally positioning a face alongside months of reading text anecdotes and stories, and I for one was pleasantly surprised, I’m gonna say little else than Maria possessed a cheery smile sparkly eyes and a pretty face befitting a woman her age…… oh and laying on a bed, legs slightly parted revealing a hint of her pussy! Shaven it was!
Like I said we were blog pals.
We’ll leave Maria’s appearance there shall we, ‘walls have ears’, I trusted her photos implicitly, I had no doubt whatsoever Maria was sharing genuine recent photos of herself and I cannot stress that enough. I trusted her photos her honesty, and I had no doubt whatsoever if we met in person we’d instantly recognise the other.
Speaking from ‘not so bitter’ experience, photos are the dating deal breaker, when chatting with a woman online only one question nags at the imagination, a little voice reaffirming my mistrust of liars, wary the person I am chatting to isn’t the person in the photograph, but as transpired Maria was the lady in her photo.
…….. to be continued.
(I’ll leave you with one taster, yes we met in person and now to the $64,000 question, ‘did we enjoy our date?’ Yes.)