Algorithms & Wonderbra’s

#Tongue ‘firmly’ in cheek.

WordPress Statistics baffle me! How can a post written Sep 2018 be so popular today? 

After 2+ years, 2 blogs and writing 375+ posts A Woman’s Cleavage (a cautionary tale) is my most viewed ever! Bar none! And the past 4 months alone have been 33, 43, 43 and 39 (and still with 4 days to go!)

It’s baffling…. a mystery and I just don’t understand why? Why aren’t ALL my posts THIS popular, what happened to my favourite My neighbour IS a Stripper!

But lol dooo you care?

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Omg! ❤

Screenshot from my blog

I am an occasional reader of Blog statistics, carefully peruse and scrutinize my popularity, it’s a boy thing, numbers matter, size matters I guess God hard wired us that way!🙄

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‘Tower of London’ ravens

Our tour group was assigned a Yeoman Warder (above), a lovely guy his humorous and fascinating tour lasted one hour and interestingly they are ALL serving soldiers in the British army…. if you wish to upset a Yeoman Warder lol call him or her a tour guide, being an entertaining story teller is a prerequisite and you know how children love tales of murder blood and intrigue! 

I wouldn’t imagine these photos taken during my 2018 summer visit to the Tower of London will be of terrifically great interest, but I feel passionately about the Tower’s 1000 year royal history and cherish the wonderful stories that it holds because I’m unashamedly proud to be British…. sometimes I wonder if I can admit such a ‘heresy’ within present day multi cultural Britain? Not to worry 😀 tonight’s post was as much an exercise in historical research for me, as well as an excuse to ‘show share’ my photos somewhere!

(Please note ALL the unpublished photographs below were taken by me.)

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Clear blue skies… I’d forgotten how lovely the day was.
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Raven facts written in many different languages for the benefit of tourists.
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A raven looking at the central White Tower which seems pretty apt for a Castle that’s recognised the world all over, an image that defines England and what it is to be English.
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Enjoying the warmth from a late afternoon sun.
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Perched precariously on one leg… now that’s what I call a clever raven.

Our Yeoman Warder Guide would pause at points of interest throughout the Tower grounds, address the assembled group of tourists with captivating facts and lurid tales of murder intrigue and English history anecdotes I’d last studied 40 years ago!

One of the many legends to have grown around the Tower of London, is that of the Tower ravens. The legend states that if the ravens, which can be seen dotted around the grounds or perched on walls, should ever leave then the iconic White Tower would fall along with the entire kingdom (happened 2016 after Brexit!), incidentally it’s said to be King Charles II (1660-1685) who first insisted that the ravens of the Tower should be protected. 

Long before the conquest, ravens had been a familiar sight in the streets of London, where they were welcomed as natural scavengers who carried away bones and edible refuse from the gutters. The legend of the ravens, and no one is quite sure by whom it was started, has become of such importance that for hundreds of years royal decrees have been issued protecting the birds…  our Yeoman Warder said they can never leave, they cannot fly away because a vet has clipped a single flight wing.

I guess the saying ‘better safe than sorry applies’!

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Apparently this is the brand new raven enclosure, housing 6 birds.

One Yeoman Warder is tasked with caring for the ravens and is termed ‘Raven Master’. Up until just recently 6+ birds were caged by the Wakefield Tower but have since been rehomed, and I guess rather than name the birds each Tower raven has a different coloured band on one leg, interestingly captive ravens in the Tower grounds have reached the age 40 years…… I imagine the lack of predators helps!

Click here I’ve been sightseeing in London again! (The Tower of London)to view ‘loads more’ gloriously colourful photographs.

A. Shepherdson 2020

Plagiarism on WordPress

'Can I have your password before you croak?'

(Having said all below I wouldn’t worry yourselves, certain niches of creativity for example poetry might be copied, but as for daily bloggers you know writing about life, sharing thoughts and opinions I’d guess there’ll be ok…. anyways an interesting conversation all the same?)

Plagiarism on WordPress goes on, thieving of a blogger’s written thoughts and ideas happens, we all know it does and I guess it’s part and parceled in with the Gig…. not a victimless crime and the phrase ‘cest la vie’ comes to mind, but I’d love to understand the motivation of people who do it, what drives them to start a blog, copy other writer’s poetry and pass it off as their own? Can’t be the money because come on, does anyone really make enough here to live on?

Perhaps the problem is down to darker motives, envious of another’s popularity, wishing for thousands of followers (do they all read?) Coveting the hundreds of likes beneath a post, jealous of a comments thread 20 30 40 readers long, bitterness at the knowledge blog friendships nurtured over sometimes years are such fun. Yep I understand the attraction for the lonely, we all wish to be liked also popular, we all enjoy social interaction but plagiarising content just isn’t right.

My suggestion is give ‘original’ writing a crack… see where it takes you? Or perhaps a  photo blog?

Plagiarism! def: The practice of taking someone else’s work or ideas and passing them off as one’s own.

My ‘Jojo Rabbit’ will follow sooon I promise, but I’ve thoughts of plagiarism on my mind, I’ve also to write of my experience dating a real life blogger I first met on WordPress, we became chatty in comments as you do, and writers I follow might knowingly smile because I enjoy commenting blogs I love reading….. and no one has labelled me a stalker… yet!

Those Posts will come, better to have tooo many ideas than none at all.

In my time loitering around this internet backwater largely left alone by assholes and bullies, I put that solely down to the lack of money making opportunities, writers are tooo intelligent to be taken in by scammers, and middle aged sex obsessed men don’t make for great marketing hook-ups unless you’re flogging condoms or private sexual disease treating clinics.

Where was I? Oh yes plagiarism, the theft of words and ideas. Before the lady finished blogging for good, a fabulous Canadian writer name ‘Skinny and Single’ recounted tales of posts she’d had stolen, rewritten onto fake blogs edited by sad individuals, ‘Skinny’ at the time was a blogging superstar. Then there’s my own tawdry 1000 word tales of bedroom sexual liaisons, fun facts about vaginas and observations of the human female mammal, have any of my posts been copied? ‘Skinny and Single’ replied my question, saying in comments ‘You will have been copied’. 

‘Such is life’ 🙂 .

So have I been ripped off? Not that I know of, but after several years blogging, and hundreds of posts written I have NO doubt a post (or two) has been copied and pasted onto another’s blog, with their authorship beneath….. so do I wish to be notified? No not really, arguments would ensue, profanities exchanged, there’d be anger and we know how dangerous it is to make enemies on the internet, IP’s can be traced and I’m just not into dramatic conflict.

So if you enjoy classics such as ‘Fun facts’ about the human female Vagina go click here!

But I have no doubt I’d be upset, to read someone’s authorship beneath my post knowing how challenging I find the process would hurt, but I guess unfortunately plagiarism comes part of the Gig. As for me I’ve never copied, ffs where’s the fun in that! Yes I’ll read a Cosmipoliton magazine sex survey, feel empowered to run with the idea and then write my own responce……. prompting discusion is ok, theft is wrong.

Have I breached Copyright? Have I frigging ever! This Blog is littered by photos downloaded stolen borrowed from the internet, yes guilty as charged and I guess I’m not proud of that, they enhance a post, make for lol fun clickbait, entice draw readers in…. hopefully! I guess I shouldn’t but I do attribute ownership where possible and I never pass off as my own.  

(After a 5 minute period of introspection where hot ‘mint’ tea was consumed.) 

Yes I agree with Hester in South Africa… if you wish to download one of my own photos feel free to do so, just don’t say it belongs to you 🙂 .

 

A. Shepherdson 2020

 

 

Power cut!

Back in the day I was a Boy Scout. What’s more did you know their motto is ‘be prepared’? …. Oh and what do you think of my novelty ‘Pac man’ alarm clock down below, the electronic synthesiser near gives me a frigging heart attack every morning!

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Btw I make my own wax Candles……… purchased a kit from Amazon 10 years ago!

So there I was 8 o’clock yesterday evening, seated in a comfy living room chair, laptop precariously balanced on my knee happily paging Amazon listings (new shoes), when ‘all of a sudden’ my home went pitched black dark! What’s more the freezer’s ‘humming’ electric motor stopped, as did trickling water circulating my radiators… for once there was light, moments later I was sat in confusion and eerie silence!

Yep the neighbourhood had suffered a power cut.

(And this is why I’m the guy who HATES sudden surprises). 

Now disorientated, that iconic phrase ‘What The F#ck’ ringing about my ears, only then did I appreciate the full horror of blindness, all spatial awareness and sense of direction disappeared as I stumbled myself to the kitchen, pulled unit draws open, rummaged for a torch, matches, and racked my brains trying to remember if I had candles! 

We merrily live through our days following time honoured routines, then some unforeseen event spins our lives into befuddlement confusion or worse, lol it’s not the end of the world but how does a guy manage to pee straight if he can’t see the toilet pan?

Yep times like these it’s the simple things in life that matter…. like owning a TORCH!

So the moral to my tale is, listen to your Scoutmaster and ‘be prepared’.

 

A. Shepherdson 2020

 

My work colleague’s Sexy selfies!

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Not Lizzie’s actual selfie, but you get the idea

I KNOW a young lady who posts semi nude photos of herself on the internet, yep Lizzie (for the purposes of this post) shows scantily clad selfies of herself wearing colourful bikinis she’s gonna use on holiday…. and there’s more! You’ll hardly believe this true, but wow she also posts selfies wearing tasteful white lingerie… and you just don’t know how tempted I’ve been to post one…. all in the name of investigative journalism mind you!

However I’ve resisted temptation because posting on my blog is morally reprehensible, no just darn right wrong! Not forgetting revealing her identity could almost certainly get me the sack from work, infringe Copyrights on umpteen social media platforms, and most importantly of all might cause the young woman untold embarrassment.

That’s if she cares of course.

(I haven’t but jeeze I’ve been so tempted if only to prove a point…. honest!)

Let me expand this rather cautionary tale, perhaps it’ll interest you mums with daughters of your own? You see Lizzie works at the same place I do, and that’s all the detail I am going to divulge for obvious reasons, except she’s aged about twenty, an apprentice plumber (or perhaps not) by trade and a rather pretty young lady with I might add a cracking petite figure.

“Well Andrew that’s rather forward of you, isn’t it?”

Now this is where my tale gets really interesting, because a colleague happened across her Instagram account and btw not me! He’s never said how and I’ve never asked why, but I guess if you searched her name on Google, and she owns an Instagram account, then you WILL easily find her….. a cautionary tale indeed. 

Well cutting a short story shorter, the majority of Lizzie’s photos are of pets Grandparents and friends and surprisingly accessible to public viewing (though not all), but there’s more! To my guys astonishment, Lizzie shares full body length photos of herself, captured in her bedroom gazing at her reflection in a mirror with a mobile phone to hand, and yes there are photos of herself wearing bikinis, clubbing outfits and omg white lingerie!

I’m not ashamed to say we men have all viewed her Instagram, it’s been passed around the department like naughty schoolboys sharing porn images with their chums….. btw I’d like to strongly protest that I haven’t downloaded these images.

I haven’t, but here’s the point I could have screenshot her wearing ******* print bikinis, I’d guess some colleagues might have but she’s over 18, they’re public viewing so who’d care if they’re into that kind of thing… and unworried if the wife inspects their mobile phone! 😫

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Well if she were my daughter I’d be concerned

So my question is, does Lizzie suspect we’ve seen these revealing photos, you know wearing her bra and panties? There’s a thought, all I do know is sharing compromising photos on the internet has consequences, nosy guys find them, images get uploaded onto porn sites AND potentially you could see one posted onto a middle aged guy’s WordPress.

MY WP! 🤫 

Jeeze, now wouldn’t that have made for an entertaining read 😂 .

 

A. Shepherdson 2020

Intolerant Veganism!

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Just last week five British Supreme court judges ruled veganism can now be classified as a religion, yep no different to Islam Christianity and any other faith humans wish to follow. You’ll have to Google (if you really can be bothered) to read the case details and ramifications, because mark my words vegans can be an intolerant bunch, many with a political sinister agenda for sweeping change, if you eat meat then be prepared for persecution because they’re after us carnivores, and if you don’t agree with these fanatical uncompromising zealots then be prepared to change your eating habits……….. Oxford’s already experienced demonstrations demanding supermarkets stop selling dairy cows milk and more will follow.

That’s enough talk of religion.

This evening’s news was dominated by the horrific fires sweeping across Australia, heart wrenching scenes and a manmade global warming disaster that’s killed human life, consumed millions of acres of forest, reduced thousands of homes to ash and most upsetting of all animals, birds, reptiles and insects have perished, one billion to be exact including 30% of all koala bear population. I had to shut down my computer because the devastation, photos and wildlife deaths reduced me to tears, first the Amazon rainforest burned now all Australia and the magnitude was emotionally all too much.

One billion lost for Christ’s sake.

(I like vegans… really I do!)

So where does veganism fit into this tragic tale? Each and every morning on the way to work I call in at my local supermarket and buy a sealed plastic tray of blueberries, and everyday I feel awful because reading their country of origin near stings my eyes.

That country changes sometimes several times a week, they can be sourced from Chile, Peru, South Africa, Morocco and so many more, I glance up and down the fruit isle and there are punnets of strawberries from Holland, grapes from Algeria, there’s African dates, Turkish soft apricots and almonds from California………. ALL plant based produce requiring vast acres of forest land and gallons of fresh drinking water by the millions.

So I ask you at what point does farming plant based food (a fact forgotten by those ‘holier than thou’ self satisfied vegans) be classed as the devastation and destruction of wild natural habitats?

You want aovocado on toast for breakfast? Then understand they’re flown in by jet aircraft and farmed by Panamanian mafia gangs.

And don’t get me started on the tonnes of aviation fuel required to transport this tasty fresh produce across the globe? Airplane jet engines belching out tonnes of CO2 gases into the atmosphere, not forgetting the litres of water required to grow let’s say, a single raspberry bush………. and please don’t question my fruit growing horticultural knowledge because I grow my own raspberries!

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One of my raspberry bushes

So my message to vegans and their new religion is before you lambast us meat eating Nazis, remember veganism has a far greater environmental cost to this once beautiful natural world!

Rant over and I’m as guilty as the next man.

Pray for Australian wildlife if you believe in God, and let’s ALL change our buying habits shall we? I guess that means no more blueberries for breakfast 😞 .

A. Shepherdson 2020

My Year in Blogging..… with a little life and sex thrown in for good measure

A post inspired by a favourite female blogger (or in other words I copied her idea?)

Wow another year blogging and all with 82 posts written, which was a genuine surprise seeing as I was absent for three months this summer, then again I’ve always written in fits and starts, when the urge takes me, but that’s ok because the best piece of blogging advice I’ve ever been given is, be honest to yourself also enjoy the process, and I’ve been at times recklessly honest but that’s been half the fun!

I put my lost writing mojo towards the back end of 2019 down to Brexit, there’s no coincidence my period away could be mirrored to depression and the current shambolic state of British politics….. in truth I’ve fallen out of love with this my country which is a crying shame.

Enough of politics for this is a politics free blog.

Now for WordPress popularity statistics that are so important to some, me included and I’d be lying if I said Comments don’t matter, I’d love more but that’s ok we all find an audience… oh and I will admit to being a bit of a like whore!

Views 5,032
Visitors 2,969
Likes 1,152
Comments 702

A great deal less numbers than some but I’m more than happy…….. also this year I’ve been singularly viewed in Ghana Rwanda also Namibia, yes someone living in Africa has read a post and that blows my mind, hmm I wonder which one?

Well judging by my top 5 viewed posts, I’d guess said tale would have been sex related, such is the adult blogging tentacle outreach across our cyber globe……….. oh and I’ll forever wonder if I have a real life lurker reading from within the shadows?

Top 5 countries viewed from:

  1. United States🇺🇲
  2. United Kingdom🇬🇧
  3. India🇮🇳 (that’s not quite the surprise you’d first assume)
  4. Canada🇨🇦
  5. Germany🇩🇪

Top 5 posts of 2019:

  1. A woman’s cleavage (a cautionary tale)
  2. Missionary (& NSFW)
  3. An open apology to women not wearing bras
  4. Enjoying ASS play! Might I be Gay?
  5. ‘Fun facts’ about the human female vagina

Yes all sex related, in fact all my top ten are true tales of love and sex.

So begs the question, what happened to my series themed Trellick Towers? Or the social comment that is Sandro’s café? Or my day trip to atmospheric Highgate cemetery London? I guess the old adage ‘sex sell’s’ applies 😄

Sooo many questions!

Early January began with visiting my father in hospital, and many times again after he later moved in to a nursing home, a sorrow filled tale ending with his passing in April, and as many of you will understand the sadness and emotional turmoil death of a parent is life at it’s most brutal. I’ve admitted here before we weren’t very close, but I loved him and he loved me and I’m happy knowing we enjoyed each other’s company full of its ups and downs, I have no real regrets which I will forever be grateful for. Weeks before his death I remember the sudden urge I felt 11 o clock one evening, urgently rushing by bus to be at his bedside after for some unknown reason thinking that he’d pass away that same evening, lol I shan’t repeat his answer on seeing me, but it made both me and the Ward Sister laugh.

In the words of Monty Python ‘now for something completely different’, anecdotes ‘hot’ off the press from my all tooo active imagination.

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Yes I’ll admit to click baiting, though the room’s decor does look familiar

This past year I’ve slept with 5 different women, not their real names but there’s Sarah, Shannon, Diana, Nikola and Sara, yes loving Sara a favourite lady of mine for oh so many reasons. I agree these are details deemed rather distasteful to share, but what the hell🤫 where’s the fun in not telling?

Truthfully I cannot remember where and when I discovered this what shall remain nameless website, but if you’re  at all interested, chatting to a woman you’ve never met before on a legally regulated web chatroom for consenting adults is thrilling. Likewise arranging to meet her in some cheap Oxford motel is exhilarating, and if truth be told meeting these women is a military campaign in itself, there’s mobile phone exchanges taken from bleak hotel carparks, me dodging security at the revolving doors, a firtive skirting of reception desks without being called over and asked,

“Where do you think you are going Sir?”

Then there’s locating the actual hotel room after being texted the number, the nerve tingling moment she first opens the room door, the first time either of us see if our photos resemble those on said chatroom, and I haven’t been disappointed yet. Apart from 55year old Cara back in 2018 who omitted to admit she had a dodgy knee which meant during sex, after a vigorous bed bouncing cowgirl, she had to step off the bed to click her knee back into position.

Frigging hilarious!

Happy afternoons I sometimes think I live for, though perhaps emotionally unhealthy experiences and yet filled with such warmth fun and laughter, yes I agree to a lacking real love ….. then again what is real love? 

After all said and done, there’s a wicked thrill to internet sex, a day full of unknown possibilities, thrills and excitement ‘pricking’ every sense of my body into life……….. and great sex, naked body’s entwined, caressing and squeezing tits, sucking on dry nipples and joy of joys feasting between her wide open thighs, lapping at baby soft skinned folds of succulent labia, the tip of my tongue searching for her elusive clitoris…… and yes I do love giving oral sex. 

So what joy and horrors will 2020 bring? Well glancing at the clock on my laptop today is january 1st, and you know what that means, my obituary will never read ‘died in 2019!’

A. Shepherdson 2020