On the 87th day God created cleavage

I must admit I’ve been in two minds whether to publish yet another boob tale (said that before!) Blogger Lesley kluchin won’t be impressed and I don’t blame her, of all the lovely readers to reply Lesley isn’t adverse to giving Andrew’s virtual ass a written spanking, several occasions tooo, I love them!! I fear my sexist tales understandably challenge the lady’s mommy sensibilities also school teaching values and quite right tooo……… Still, Lesley’s a good looking woman for her age, just shows a woman can still be sexually appealing at age70😘 . (Btw she wasn’t offended when I wrote that because I’m a nice guy.)

Ok I’ve a breast obsession! I adore sucking caressing licking and gazing in wonderment, what more can I say? 😀

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Ladies be watchful of peering eyes looking down from on high

Seems an age since I’ve affectionately ‘objectified’ a woman’s body on this WordPress.

Omg summer’s finally arrived with a vengeance and Oxford city is crowded with (age appropriate) young ladies wearing fewer than usual, there’ll be micro cotton dresses revealing milk white thighs, hem lines sooo short that on a guy’s lucky day he’ll glimpse ‘cushions’ of knicker gusset captured in the breeze, and just imagine but for this soft delicate fabric I might see kitty lips moistened and glistening against the sunlight! The problem is I have to keep in mind I’m old enough to be their father if not older!!

Btw this has happened, I’m not complaining ladies but watch the skirt length for heavens sake my heart isn’t as young as it used to be! Or with the advent of #METOO am I deemed sexist for looking and enjoying?

Do you wish to know why I enjoy riding double decker commuter buses in sunny weather? (You know you want to 😀 ) I’ll sit beside a top deck window waiting for my evening’s ride to pull away from the pavement, with a forearm propped upon a window-sill I’ll gaze down at delectable University students (age18) and pretty female shoppers walking past, their animated laughter and chatter a joy to behold, better still and you just know what I’m going to share with you next, more often than not when hot summer days arrive, so do tight fitting tee shirts with plunging necklines and ample boobage jiggling their own merry dance.

And because I’m seated peering down from up on high I’ll watch out for the colour of their bras as they walk on by, and if fortunate I’ll see pastel blouses with their collars open and top buttons undone, omg it’s fabulous to be alive when gazing at milk white boobs nestling comfortably within cups of various sizes, and working down the alphabet from an A cup to a DD, on a REALLY lucky day and this only happens once in a while mind, when the angle of eyeline is correctly aligned and her cups are larger in size, then I have been known to coup d’œil a small brown nipple or two.

Now that we’re on the subject of ladies’ nipples and keeping in mind their SOLE function in life is so that a baby can latch on and drink mums’ creamy goodness so they’ll grow up healthy a strong, yum yum big deal………………..

(Ahh I’ve just had an idea! I’ve some ‘breastfeeding in public’ opinions that I’ll leave for another day 🙂 )

ERR where was I? Oh yes tales of peering down ladies’ blouses! Yikes could I get into trouble doing this?

However this sexy street theatre doesn’t last forever as our gruff diesel engine rumbles into life, alas my down blouse performance is over for another day 😦 that’s until I descend the upper deck stairs and I share this thought with you quite truthfully, again when luck is on my side (lotta luck required in my life, keep up!) A BIG breasted young lady has been seen standing waiting ready to get off, I’m hovering above looking directly down, and no word of a lie, a balconette bra separating two perfectly shaped breasts with her belly button clearly in view. 

🙂 Btw she appeared like a vision one hot summer’s day last year, 😀 so ladies be aware!

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I’m curious, does a woman’s sixth sense tell her when a guy or girl is taking a little more interest than perhaps they should be?

Incidentally this saucy nonsense flows easily when I’m sexually aroused, why not try it yourselves dear readers? I should add the knicker gusset aided by the lifting skirt breeze scenario happened last August! Happy days 🙂 .

(Two ‘borrowed’ stock images which are NOT my own!)

A. Shepherdson 2019

English language rules, break them!!

No NO don’t leave me yet!! This post isn’t as dull as you’re possibly thinking 🙂 .

ppppppppppppppA recent blog Titled ‘English language rules and why they can/should/must be broken (sometimes)‘ captured my imagination.

The correct use of English language, where and when to apply correct grammar rules, increasingly fascinates because I’ve been ‘writing’ on WordPress for over a year now and who wouldn’t be! Though I’ll add one important caveat, the question ‘do I consider myself to be a ‘writer?’ Definitely sharpens the mind, :/ hmm jury’s still out on that one, however Holly once described me a ‘conversational writer’ which I quite like 🙂 .

Now putting to one side a fun pet tale, she elaborates on her current choice of reading Titled Dryer’s English ‘An utterly correct guide to clarity and style by Benjamin Dreyer.’ which is quite possibly my next Amazon.co.uk purchase, and quoting from her own words,

‘This man is my new-found hero. Basically he suggests we can, and should, break all the English grammar rules we have learned in school. Unless we can’t or shouldn’t.

Lol.

His writing style is so conversational, you’ll absolutely forget immediately that technically you’re reading a guide to English grammar, and he’s so funny. I was instantly captivated.’

NOW for me this is where our tale gets really interesting, apparently Benjamin Dreyer talks briefly about a challenge he recommends all writers take part in. For one whole week he suggests readers eliminate the following words from everything they write, omg talk about laying down a gauntlet!

(Queue an accompanying drum roll)

  • Rather
  • Really
  • Quite
  • In fact
  • Just
  • So
  • Pretty (not to describe something or someone, but to say ‘pretty tedious’)
  • Of course
  • Surely
  • That said
  • Actually

On the last one he recommends, “feel free to go the rest of your life without another actually”.

And you’ll guess exactly what I’m going to say next!

Well I read that list and thought to myself ‘Holy crap I’m a Serial offender, I regularly and repeatedly use every single word from that list and quite possibly almost certainly within all 195 posts on this my WordPress!’

I’m not joking for effect either and whilst I’m here I’ll add ‘Anyways’ to Benjie’s list, ‘anyways’ is my goto word for realigning returning a meandering train of thoughts ‘back on track’, without fail if my thread of consciousness has veered off topic the following paragraph will always begin with Anyways, perhaps you’ve noticed?

Anyways where was I? Oh yes my fascination with grammar rules, now I’ll share with you my one and only self editing rules, that before publishing this post I’ll check (then double check) I haven’t used the words ‘it’ and ‘it’s’ though I will use ‘its’. “Why so Andrew?” Well in my humble opinion the word it’ is an irritatingly non descript meaningless word, not tooo dissimilar to teenage girls and their addiction to the word ‘like’. Incidentally I have this theory that because girls converse far quicker than their brain’s are processing, the word ‘like’ is scattered here there and everywhere’ so allowing thought processes to catch up!……………. 🙂 In my opinion ‘like’ is a meaningless conversational fill-in word however absolutely adorable ❤ to listen to when you overhear teenage girls chatting.

And finally,

Here’s a ‘fabulous’ anecdote I happened across recently and apparently a TRUE story, anyways it (lol) made me laugh 😀 revealing how intelligent thinking stops an ignorant stupid person in his/her tracks.

Picture this. The phrase ‘NIGGER’S OUT’ is written in spray paint across a large expanse of virgin wall. 

Only later a sharp thinking passer-by adds their own brilliant observation: ‘NIGGER’S OUT (but he’ll return after his dinner)’.

Don’t you think that’s priceless insightful and an awesome reply?

(My apologies to Victoria for ‘woosing out’ on Chapter 14, and I know I owe Darnell a post sharing the reasons I don’t use writing Apps such as Grammarly………….. lol no one can say I don’t try to interact here, that’s half the fun don’t you think?)

A. Shepherdson 2019

“The day we stop looking, is the day we die”

untitledeeeeeeed

Lt. Col. Frank Slade (Al Pacino):“Tits. Hoo-hah! Big ones, little ones. Nipples staring right out at ya, like secret searchlights.”

——————————————————————————–
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: “Legs. I don’t care if they’re Greek columns, or second-hand Steinways, but what’s between them… passport to heaven.”

——————————————————————————–
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: “Women. What could you say? Who made ’em? God must’ve been a f#cking genius.”

——————————————————————————–
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: “When in doubt, f#ck.”

——————————————————————————–
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: “The day we stop looking, Charlie, is the day we die.”

Shortly after publishing my recent ’75 facts About meee’ post I began to wonder whether my WordPress adult themed content is appropriate for a man of my age? In other words I’ve suddenly become VERY self conscious! 

I’d suggest, and quite rightly so reader’s views will be divided. Now 😀 I’m NOT about to apologise because Argentinian ‘Paola’ (middle aged mom blogger) told me never apologise for your blog, not that I have anything to be at all ashamed or embarrassed about sharing my sexy tales, I consider them a fun read if yes a little OTT but I’m single and very discreet blah blah blah. Perhaps I’m tooo honest here, recklessly honest in my thoughts and opinions? HOWEVER what an earth is the point in taking life and this WordPress over seriously, age appropriate goes without saying! I’ve slept around yes though I adore women’s sexuality, beguiled by their personality as much as any guy, and respect women with a passion.

If you consider me tooo old to dream and write about sex then lol shame on you that’s just plain ageist, I recently overheard my mother talking to a friend out of what she thought was my ear shot. I wasn’t!!

They were discussing their recent evening theatre trip to watch the Play ‘Calendar Girls’, well apparently one of her age 70+ friends emptied her handbag by accident and out popped some electrical wiring? Well APPARENTLY there was much giggling amongst these older girls assuming their friend carried an electric powered sex aid in her handbag! Who knows if it was, I didn’t overhear thankfully but good on her if she err did!

Anyways “she who casts the first stone and all that” John c8v7 (though I doubt John was talking about sex”) should remember I’ve read many a sexy tale written by a middle aged female blogger that would make your hairs stand on end!

Today’s Title is a favourite movie quote spoken by Al Pacino to his friend ‘Charlie’ in one of my favourite Movies ‘Scent of a Woman’, it’ll warm the hearts of many middle aged man reminding him appreciating women’s sexuality is ok and what’s more healthy and acceptable…………… you should listen to the tales regaled by the middle aged men I work with knowing their wives are not listening!

If I hadn’t slept with 35 women then I lol wouldn’t be writing about it and that’s the last time I’ll ever share that fact.

Discuss.

Scent of a Woman (Rotten Tomatoes synopsis)

Driven by an extravagant, tour-de-force performance by Al Pacino, Scent of a Woman is the story of Frank Slade (Pacino), a blind, retired army colonel who hires Charlie Simms (Chris O’Donnell), a poor college student on the verge of expulsion, to take care of him over Thanksgiving weekend. At the beginning of the weekend, Frank takes Charlie to New York, where he reveals to the student that he intends to visit his family, have a few terrific meals, sleep with a beautiful woman and, finally, commit suicide. The film follows the mis-matched pair over the course of the weekend, as they learn about life through their series of adventures. Though the story is a little contrived and predictable, it pulls all the right strings, thanks to O’Donnell’s sympathetic supporting role and Pacino’s powerful lead performance, for which he won his first Academy Award.

GO ON SAY IT! “Yeh but Andrew you not Al Pacino”, yes but we can all dream a little can’t we? 😛

A. Shepherdson 2019