Caring for parents blog #3 (A response)

A response blog 16/09/2018 13:20

A lady called Lesley, and I doubt she’ll mind me saying she’s also a blogging Grandmother, replied to Caring for Parents #2, in fact she’s replied to several of my posts. Well short and sweet for now, because I’d like to respond to her comment a little later, I’m going to share with you her thoughts as to said post by repeating her reply below, (come on keep up 😀 ) and if you’ve gleaned anything from my blog you’ll know I LOVE thought provoking comment.

Btw my mother’s on holiday and I’ve moved home to look after my father who has memory problems.

So I’m wondering was my Blog #2 clumsily written, who I am, ageist or a combination of all three? Yes to all three and perhaps a little offensive as well however they’re my thoughts transferred to print at the time, so I’ll quote someone I work with by saying,

“No worries all’s good good”.

My mother gleefully phoned this Sunday morning to check up on how things are going and she’s having a wonderful time dancing and sightseeing with her friends, great and btw the weather’s turned overcast. As to the point behind this post series they’re little more than experiences of caring for my father over 4 days, I’ve provoked one very interesting response so I’m very happy and certainly not seeking approval……………. you get the idea.

Lesley’s enlightening reply, I hope I’m this active also positive when I retire……. oh and with a fulfilling ‘adventurous’ sex life!!

Old people’s homes????? Really??? That is agism, my friend!

I live in a 55 and older condo community and I am NOT old!!! BTW, Those communities are so much more economical than keeping up a giant sized home when the kids have flown the coop and the hubby has passed on. No, I am not in my 70’s like your mom, but even if I were, I still wouldn’t consider myself old. I can tell you that the people I know who are in their late 60’s and early to mid 70’s are living vital, full, exciting lives. Heck, all the rock icons are aging and they aren’t over the hill yet.Just watch Mick Jagger in concert!

I’m retired from teaching and each day when I get up, I have my morning cup of coffee,go onto my laptop or iPad Pro, and check my FB page, my twitter account, my blog, my emails, and jot down ideas for the a new chapter in my novel. Then, I usually write an assessment on one of my social media sites of what our ridiculous excuse for a President has done to destroy democracy and move on from there. Sometimes, I write in my blog, while still lingering over my coffee, and other times I get back to work on my novel and plug forward to finish another couple chapters.
But, I NEVER watch game shows. I hate them. I may watch CNN, MSNBC or something relevant to see what is happening in the world so I know what is going on before I venture out on my errands. But no silly shows. I do confess I have a weakness for Judge Judy and so I record her and watch when I have a chance.

I am very, very sorry your father is having memory problems. That could happen to any one of us, and he is fortunate to have your Mom and you to help him through it. I don’t envy either of you as that can’t be easy. But that doesn’t mean your parents are old. In fact, people in their 70’s are relatively young. My older brother is 72 and he is still very cool. And my younger sister just retired this year and now we get to see each other much more often. We Iive in different cities but speak daily and talk about our Tai chi classes, download new books to read each month and we drive and meet for lunch to discuss them in a book club we belong to.

But seriously? To reduce the interests of middle aged people to Brain numbing fodder???? I don’t think so!!! Notice I said middle aged not old… or elderly. I told my children I can not be referred to as old until I hit my 70’s but I have decided recently that I am raising that age to 80. Today people over 50 are more computer savvy and more vital than ever.

I am involved with political groups and get together online and in person to change the political climate happening in America. I teach poetry in my grand children’s classrooms. I write lessons for the school board and I am in my 60’s. My profile picture on this site was taken about a couple years ago on my laptop so it is pretty current and I don’t think I look or act like an elderly person. (Well, maybe when I have the flu.) What I am trying to say is…. I call myself a “Junior” Senior. I am still vital, important, and able to contribute to society in a positive way and can still change the world. And so can your mom. Do not underestimate women of a certain age.

I am paraphrasing, but Gloria Steinem said something to the effect that “Men become more conservative as they age and women become more adventurous, open minded, and rebellious. Some day the world will be run a bunch of gray haired ladies!”
So my friend, NEVER refer to senior communities as old folks. We love, we laugh, we drink, we dance and we have sex. YES! We still raise hell.

The Peace, Love, and rock and roll generation will never grow old!

Thank you Lesley 🙂 .

A. Shepherdson 2018

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13 thoughts on “Caring for parents blog #3 (A response)

  1. I remember once when I was a teenager, asking my Grandma, how it felt to be OLD… She looked indignantly towards me and said ” Old is as old as you feel, and I still feel 21, but my body feels its age!”….
    I have a 43 yr old son and 41 yr old daughter and often I wonder where the time went and I do not feel my age as I hope my logo photo taken in may confirms.. But some days my body protests and I feel it..
    Age is a matter of perception and how we each of us feel individually..
    Some sit and give up on retirement..
    Both my husband and myself wonder where we found the time to work full time and pull everything else in.. 🙂
    So don’t beat yourself up, And its wonderful that Lesley is both mentally and physically active and enjoying life to the full..
    So am I… 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yay Sue! Good for you. BTW, I have a 45 year old son and a 29 year old son. (Two different husbands). So, that means I was The youngest mom in the class and the oldest mom . My older son was mortified that I was pregnant while he was in high school. And worse yet, he’s a really tall guy that has always looked older and everyone always assumes I’m his wife not his mom. Now he politely says to people, “Thank you for making my mom’s day, but my gorgeous wife is over there.” Lol Poor guy, it doesn’t help that he’s now bald and his beard is gray. But his wife is indeed quite beautiful and thank goodness he’s polite about it. In high school he’d go, “Ewww gross!” When we were together and I was pregnant. Haha He perceives me as old because the other day he reminded me that I couldn’t be middle aged if he’s middle aged. Ya gotta love it. And my other son is an old soul, so I don’t feel old around him. He’s so wise. Plus, he loves music from the 60’s…so there ya go. 😂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Myself and a work colleague were talking along the same lines, in our minds 😀 we’re still twenty year olds trouble is the hair’s greying and to the outside world we look 50! But there you are such is life I’m in good health so all’s good………. and my mother makes that exact same point one minute myself and siblings were toddlers ‘next minute’ we’re all 45+ and I so agree age is a state of mind, my Grandparents were truthfully busier in retirement or I should say constantly occupied themselves with voluntary work and family. 🙂 (Lesley’s certainly a busy lady and that’s the key to a good and happy life.)

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh goodness. Andrew, had I realized my rant would be reposted I would have reread it and edited it for grammatical errors before clicking send! Lol 😳😬🤗.
    I didn’t think your blog was clumsily written at all. I just felt it necessary to enlighten you AND younger bloggers about people over 50. (Just as I felt it necessary to inform older people when I was a young protester). I’ve always spoken my truth.
    We as a society, need to communicate with one another to get rid of, or at least narrow, the age gap. The fact is, once you hit 35-40, everyone is pretty much the same. One group may be able to run faster, and the other better able to see varying points of view due to experience, but basically we are all the same once we have become adults. And as adults, we all still have an inner child that stays with us forever. And we need to embrace that inner child and stop widening the gap between decades.
    Ok, enough said…. “It’s all good” 😉 And I’m texting this on my phone in the car so that’s not safe… 😳. But, I’m not bothering to reread and check for errors… deal with it youngster… hahaha

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lesley no worries, I’m all for conversation debate and discussion on my blog even when I’m wrong 🙂 , like you said it’s all good, that’s why we’re here and as for the editing I prefer your comment raw and uncut (btw liked by many), and glad to see you’ve made a new blog friend in Sue. I will (if I can find the time) try to address some of your points but as you can imagine I’ve been busy oh and before I go talking about your profile picture, ever since I first viewed I thought to myself there goes a fine lookin woman, sexy even………. and as you know I always say how I feel……………. being busy is the secret for a healthy life and I fear that’s where my father went wrong after retirement, then again he and my mother enjoyed themselves together so his memory loss is unexplainable, hm many more ‘interesting’ years to come.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for the compliment on my profile picture, Andrew. I just got in front of my macbook pro and clicked! That particular photo I took 2 or 3 years ago because the Jason Taylor Foundation needed my photo for their elementary poetry curriculum that I wrote for them. I didn’t have a professional photo so I just did a selfie. I rather like it. But if you google me there are probably quite a few candid shots out there. Not too many people with my last name. In fact, there is even a black and white photo of me with my rock band from the 1960’s too. It is amazing what gets put on the internet. (A couple years back an article was done about rocker chicks of the 1960’s and they found my little band. Who would have thought…)
    I think good health is pretty much luck. My mom never smoked yet she died of lung cancer. She ate healthy, did yoga and biofeedback and died at 76. My next door neighbors smoke like chimneys and they are fine….(I worry just going past their window I will pass out from the second hand smoke.)
    Nobody knows what is around the corner. We have to just our lives until we can’t any more. And hopefully there will be somebody around to help care for us if we need them. Luckily, your father has you and your MOM.
    And as far as age goes. Some days I feel 20 and other days I don’t. But that’s life isn’t it? Everybody gets old if they are lucky.

    Liked by 1 person

    • OMG yes!!!! I searched your uncommon name in various search engines and wow there you are photos and all, I must admit I’m very impressed Lesley and the Stars and Stripes jumper suits you 🙂 ………….. some interesting articles on the theme of poetry also……… well who’d have thought a rock chick has been reading my blog……….. and she’s on the internet! I guess it goes to show how one’s pictures and bio can be accessed around the globe without you in fact knowing who uploaded……….. young adults and their selfies take note!

      Your mother passing away to that awful disease is an awful quirk of fate, time to time I work for a University professor in my own small way (I’m support staff and not from academia), without giving too much away he’s Russian and smokes disgusting East European tobacco, cigarillos? Anyways he does, one after another, yet he may live to a ripe old age and pass away due to some unrelated condition? ………… I have my doubts, incidentally I’ve written about how life is a matter of luck and chance many posts ago on this WordPress.

      I then Googled my name and surprise surprise (not) absolutely nothing! No I tell a lie several of my blog posts appear which is kinda unsurprising. Andrew

      Liked by 1 person

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