My peeing Policewoman post, afterthoughts

 

What do you think the female Dutch public’s reaction was to their biking Policemen? Unprintable I guess. 😛

The second part (marked) is a response of sorts to my own peeing Policewoman tale and yes all very serious and depressing, hmm? Was it written this way simply because I woke up that morning morose miserable and lol in a bad move? I was going to scrub and write it again but no I’ll keep it and you choose, however I’ll also add some of today’s thoughts so call this part 1………. jeeze this is a frigging long post but what else you gonna do? Go back to bed and lol play with yourself? :/ There’s a thought!

Today’s part 1

A lovely lady Blogger commented “………this ‘post’ makes me not wanna visit peaceful places……….” and omg I thought to myself ‘no NO we should never change the way we live and enjoy our lives just because once in a while bad things happen’. BUT I understand what she means.

Several years ago a schoolgirl was abducted from the Streets of my home City, in broad ‘early morning’ daylight, then driven to a place she couldn’t recall and subjected to a 4 hour gang rape.

A brazen horrendous crime, a news story that went viral right across the Globe and the public reaction in Oxford was equally as shocking. Street’s emptied of walking pedestrians, Schools instructed parents to drive their girls to School and NEVER let them walk alone and most shockingly of ALL recreation Parks of ‘swings and slides’ had near tumbleweed blowing through them. In the space of one day and for weeks after not a single soul would be seen playing in a Park, no joggers no picnicking mothers my Town was a Ghost Town.

Then life slowly began to get back to normal as life always does and if you remember hearing this Schoolgirl gang rape abduction story, then you may not have heard the girl lied, and yes you DID read that phrase correctly, perhaps she was disturbed or an attention seeker? It turns out several months later she made the whole sorry story up, a complete and utter tissue of lies jeeze the trouble she caused, in fact Thames Valley Police even Tweeted a stark message on their Twitter Feed……..

‘That abduction never happened!’

I already new this because I have a source lol long story! (A mate at work who know a ‘Copper’ 😀 ) But I think my tale proves we should never ever change the way we live our lives, just perhaps take extra care and assess possible risks and eventualities? ……….. So if you want to visit a common GO! It’s a great place to have a family picnic and if you’re really really lucky you may spot a policewoman ‘skirt up knickers down pussy out and peeing’, BUT don’t worry you’ll never see the like of her again! 😦

Part 2. Yesterday’s rather depressingly written serious additional thoughts of sexual crime and punishment.

I hope you got to read Sunday’s post if not click ‘here’ 🙂 and let me first say I know the three tales perhaps don’t sit happily together however they are interlinked, except yes I’d agree an amusing peeing Policewoman tale and a serious sexual assault probably don’t, but being honest I’m ok with the post. 

When I first began my WordPress I had only two rules in mind, 1 there’ll be no talk of Religion, 2 it’ll be a Politics free zone, not because I’m someone who sticks their head in the proverbial sand, no because I don’t want to ‘write’ about Muslim fundamentalism and how BREXIT is damaging my Country…………. I guess that’s why my posts are hopefully a fun read and note always honest, but then again lol I reserve the right to talk about Politics Religion or discuss Sex Crime if I wish to. (I don’t!)

So again keeping yesterday’s post in mind, if you really feel like reading that news story, I’m providing the link to my local newspaper ‘here’ and the assault of a woman crossing my local common for no other reason than you maybe interested? But one word of warning, the article is troubling reading because as I explained before, the rapist was bailed to attend Court for raping another woman however two Police Force Regions didn’t share evidence, consequently he carried out this second horrific assault when he SHOULD have been in Prison? I know an awful mistake!…………… Anyways the link is above if you’d like to read.

That an assault happened in a sleepy English rural Town set in rolling Countryside is a stark reminder serious crime ‘can happen to anyone anywhere anytime’, and not just for females I’m more careful about my personal safety than I have been in my life before. Don’t you ever assume the UK is a low crime society, perhaps Downton Abbey and all the other sickly sweet period dramas have you believe Britain is an idyllic land of Countryside rustic villages and only white people! No we’re multicultural therefore the Far Right white are pitted against Muslim fundamentalism, and as for crime levels, jeeze in all my years living here I’ve never known crime levels so high, street robbery and violence are all to regular news events.

(Blah blah blah………. 😀 lol )

But life has to go on, so consequently wherever I go these days I’m aware of my surroundings more than ever. I’ll keep a firm grip of my wallet when in public places, I try to be always within a group of pedestrians and ALWAYS keep half an eye out for young men on scooters, they may either ride up and steal your mobile phone or if you’re in London throw a bottle of Sulphuric Acid in your face! Perhaps I exaggerate but these days you have to be aware.

Anyways enough of violence hatred and awful crime stories, next The Sex Pistols!
©A. Shepherdson 2018 (with Googled images not my own)

Policewoman and her near indecent exposure!

(Contains references to sex crime)

🙂 Now even if I say it myself that’s a friggin awesome post title! Lol I’ve truly surpassed myself but yikes now I have to write the post…………….. f#ck it’ll never live up to that hype but oh well I’ll tell my true tale.

(A brief Intermission similar to those they used to have at my local cinema when I was a child, Saturday afternoon’s the matinee would stop then ‘old stumpy’ would walk round selling cartons of ice cream and shout at kids to stop throwing sweets at him! Just to explain I’m telling the near indecent exposure tale one hundred percent true and, because I’m ALWAYS honest, I’ll admit her knickers could be an exaggeration but till this day I’m utterly convinced I saw them!)

A few years ago now, but I’m living at this same address so we’re talking quite recently, dead on 6.07 am on a weekday morning I pulled my front door shut, and why such a precise time you may well ask? Well I catch the bus to work 6.25 and it takes me exactly 15 minutes to reach the stop.

My walk to work is an absolutely stunning one though at times can be a little nerve-wrecking but I’ll get onto that in a moment just hold that thought. My 13 minute walk is quiet peaceful and a changed landscape everyday of the year yet I take exactly the same route? The beginning couple of minutes are breath-taking strolling beneath canopies of overhanging trees, leafy in summer cold and bleak in winter, and stunning in the snow. Then I walk alongside the wall of an ancient Manor House, turn left at the Dovecot, pass by an ancient Church then cross open common land with it’s 2 bridges over the river Windrush with woods and trees either side.

🙂 

I’m unbelievably lucky, some early mornings I’ll watch ducks geese and swans as I cross the rivers, a heron if I’m lucky, and circling over the open fields I’ll quite often see Barn owls swooping down for food and best of all I’m often the only person walking across the common. There’s never another soul in the dark winters and only the odd female jogger her tight ass squeezed into body hugging Lycra in the summer…………. if she’s bouncing boobs then all is right in my world!

However my early morning gorgeous walk can be unnerving in the winter, it’s dark but for a few pavement lights, pitch black in some parts and frigging scary some days especially if my imagination is alive and I’m feeling jumpy. Why so? You may have guessed already, the common is a magnet for men who have sexual propensity to run up to females and expose their genitals, ‘flashers’ I KNOW frigging sick or what, WTF why do it for f#cks sake?

rapepngwebA tragic tale for you, two years ago and on the same day I crossed that open common, I arrive at work switch on my computer to catch the local news only to read a young woman was attacked @3.00am before I’d walked past that same wooded area, it’s always dark because of the closely planted trees.

I know I’m getting off topic, sort of! But it turns out this particular early morning a man dragged the woman from the pavement, into the undergrowth, assaulted her breaking bones in her back then he raped the unfortunate woman. However by breaktime that same morning the case was solved, it turns out minutes after the Police arriving at the crime scene they went directly to a particular known address close by and arrested a convicted rapist who was out on remand soon to appear in Court for the rape of another woman………….. it was written there in black and white, the rapist was allowed out of prison ready to attend Court where he’d be found guilty for whatever and sent back to prison! But he assaulted in the meantime and sentenced life/9 years minimum.

Unbe-f#cking-lievable, you just cannot make this incompetence up!

Anyways returning to my story of walking to work one particular evening and now you understand why I’m both elated by the scenery and nature and nervous that I’ll get beaten up or robbed blind. Several years prior to the serious assault our local Police, in I guess a gesture to calm public safety fears over the number of exposures taking place and because several hours later around 9.30am children walk across the common to get to school, a visible Police presence was increased from zero to quite a few and I’m not being sarcastic there’s only so many Policepersons and FAR too many crimes taking place.

11949846491773218673woman_police_02_gerald_g_01.svg.hiI’ll get to the end of this frigging true tale if it takes all evening lol! So I’m often nervous, the only member of public out and about this early hour, now if you look at my photo below this is virtually the exact spot where I was startled. Suddenly aware of movement and rustling between the bushes and because I’m a fast walker I strode past the noise and commotion half expecting to see a cat or the grey squirrel my mum’s dog chases HOWEVER what do I see but a uniformed attractive Policewoman squatting on the ground her skirt pulled up over her knees halfway up her thighs, knickers down around her ankles (side on so I didn’t see her actually doing ‘it’ or she’d finished) well all I can add is she was as startled as me, our gazes and eyes briefly caught each others, both no doubt WTF? I hurriedly kept walking and just understand there was an awful lot of commotion from those bushes as said Policewoman adjusted her dress! I will be absolutely bluntly honest, the image of her squatting half naked is still kinda sexy!

I realise now the juxtaposition of a story about a rape and a peeing policewoman don’t perhaps sit happily? Hmm, I’ll leave it, they happened but feel free to comment. 

(I remember later smiling to myself thinking ‘I’d hope she saw the funny side afterwards’, out hunting for flashers but no instead she flashed a pedestrian. 🙂 )

It’s a strange old world, day after day month after month I take that exact same route through beautiful countryside, passing various wildlife and then one day what do I see but a peeing Policewoman! BUT being deadly serious for a second and please don’t think me flippant, on another day a young woman takes that exact route and is raped! Jeeze we have to take care these days, there’s far too many assaults robberies and knife crime in my Town!

My morning route to work, the common and lane with bushes. (My old photos but I doubt you mind. 🙂 )

A. Shepherdson 2018©

Relationship advice from the heart

Mild adult themes (all very err tasteful)

Comments are disabled, blogs names and specific details are omitted out of respect, and as always original content. (I know lol all very mysterious and ever so melodramatic! But hey I do try. 😀 )

A reply of sorts, more so thoughts and musings intended for a blogger I’ve followed for 3 months now, AND for anyone else who cares to read………………. if you smile great, murmur ‘wtf’ better, mutter to yourself ‘mind your own blanking business’ that’s fine, it’s all good good with me. 🙂

I’m unsure if ‘you’ read my posts, if so you’ll hopefully appreciate I’m very honest and err :/ whether I’m good or bad I write whatever’s on my mind at the time, so I’m hoping you accept this evening’s thoughts in the good natured spirit they are written, for my sins lol I enjoy responding to other bloggers posts. Just perhaps call these thoughts from the perspective of a red blooded (nice) guy. 🙂

To begin with, you tag a great many of your posts ‘anxiety’ ‘body image’ and ‘body dysmorphic disorder’, and I don’t take responding to these tags lightly, I’ve read a few internet resources as well as your posts, I’m an empathetic type and just know 🙂 I’ve done my research.

I’ll begin by quoting a paragraph from your most recent blog so that you’ll have an idea as to the direction I’m coming from:

‘……………… has been getting to me more than usual. It could be because every day the wedding draws closer, and so does the honeymoon. This perfect image I have had in my head since I was a teenager of my honeymoon consisting of giggles, laughter and lovemaking is turning into a dream that I can only wish for. No one should have to dream up their honeymoon and never actually live it.’ Hmm very sad to read so let me try to be a little positive and helpful from now on!

I’m unmarried however (and I’m not bragging btw) I have had a fair few sexual partners in my time enough said, I enjoy regular (vaginal sx) however give me the choice of a fantastic body tingling sexual missionary experience OR kissing cuddles intimacy and an emotional connection then I’ll take the latter every single occasion. To me sx with an absence of intimacy is a waste of emotional energy which if has ever happened, always left me deeply depressed…………. but that’s enough about mee!

Here’s a trivial fact for you, might come in handy if you get on ‘Who Wants To Become a Millionaire’, did you know Vatsyayana’s ‘Kama Sutra’ states there are 64 sex positions, SIXTY frigging FOUR for heaven’s sake!!! Jeeze :/ I’ve only tried 6………..no 7, perhaps 8? Oh and he states there are 8 fellatio positions on their own….. apparently! Now talking of fellatio, and I doubt I have to explain what the word means to you readers, I do get side tracked, I commented on your blog this evening, sat down to eat my tea and the idea for this post crystallised once AGAIN into my imagination because I nearly wrote a post similar once before!

Time for a diagram ‘lifted’ from Cosmopolitan magazine,

socialshare-blowjob-1479243025

No more pictures, err I think above explains all!

Sharing with guys ladies and a female reader in mind, I’ve often asked myself do I prefer vaginal sex or having fellatio performed on me? (By a lady) And I have to say, being completely honest, if really pushed for an answer I will say I’d take fellatio every single time, the warmth of the lady’s mouth, wetness of her saliver helping her lips slide up and down my hardness heightens the sexual pleasure to a whole different level, sensual erotic pleasurable and err orgasmic :/ comes to mind. Not forgetting those two magic words intimacy and connection, if the lady is on her knees, gently sucking whilst gazing up at me with her two doe eyes, well all I can say is our emotional connection is almost telepathic or perhaps serotonin dopamine and other pleasure giving chemicals heighten a closeness attachment and love you have with a partner, either way having a woman perform oral sex is a gorgeous out of this world experience and DEEPLY satisfying rewarding even…….. take it from me, the sensory pleasure felt is near fabulously indescribable…….. hmm mee thinks a useful tool for a honeymoon I’d guess! AND take it from me good girls will.

Now that I’ve disabled comments, I find I do have one question, do good girls consider putting their lips around a clean hardness, in their mouths unladylike? Dirty even? Not for me? I hope not because out of all sixty frigging four positions, for a guy fellatio has to be number 1 or 2. However with ONE caveat :/ I’d say the lady has to enjoy blowing for the sx to be truly enjoyable and loving, but I guess ‘practice makes perfect’ as my mother used to say!

Btw these following generic tips are intended for any lovely person reading, whichever your sexual orientation lol it’s all good to me. 🙂

A few BJ tips for any ladies reading, If you’re giving a guy a bj, ask him questions about his likes, guys all enjoy something different, questions like “Shall I use my hands? Do you want me to lick the tip? Am I using enough pressure?” Are I guess added foreplay. Take it from me asking helps to relax a guy, it shows him you’re enjoying what you’re doing, and again personally speaking I’m always asking myself ‘Is she enjoying this?’ A guy won’t experience pleasure unless he knows a partner is!

Jeeze I’ve just caught a glimpse of my wordcount 950 words! Hmm I’ve ‘loads’ more to say so I’d better be brief or my readers will disappear. Communication is key, licking and sucking hard and fast may not be enough and I spent an afternoon with a lady who said she had (no better not say), anyways remember since the age13 boys have taught themselves to masturbate using their hands so licking and sucking may not be enough, I’d suggest a lady alternates stroking with her hand time to time to replicate his boyhood learnt technique also take a breather…………… hope this helps!

1000 words! I’d better share my tips even quicker!

Don’t ignore his balls be sure to kiss and gently tickle, suck if you wish but remember they’re not gobstoppers! And remember guys need foreplay rather than a lady heading straight for the hardness, AND never use your teeth and FINALLY the question of swallowing? Well put it this way a lady I know decided not to, so I guess the saying ‘good girls don’t’ pretty much applies lol.

So in conclusion I’m hoping I haven’t unintentionally offended ANYONE, as always over the past 2 years anything I write is meant to entertain however with this post keeping in mind those important tags of anxiety and body image, I truly believe no other sex position can better fellatio for intimacy pleasure and connecting between 2 human beings, useful on a honeymoon perhaps.

A. Shepherdson. 2018

Follow me around OXFORD (pt1)

Photographs taken by myself 21/04/2018 apart from the 3 picture’s of pretty ladies wearing very little! You mean you don’t understand? Lol you’ll have to read on 😀 btw I’m NOT ‘click baiting’ readers, this post is ‘hopefully’ a blend of humour and historically serious………. in other words entertaining.

Oxford April 2018 008
St. Magdalen Church and Cemetery Bluebells

Towers and Churches (with a fun introduction) 

The UK has experienced an unseasonal no lush incredible! Mini heatwave, we’ve just had the hottest 3 days since written records began, sorry for droning on about our weather lol but if you have a friend who’s from England then you’ll understand our national obsession, no our number one pastime, is talking about our weather! No word of a lie I kid you not we can experience all 4 seasons in one day, three weeks ago we had snow (click link) this weekend we’ve had blue skies high humidity brilliant sunshine and 28+ degrees, I’ll return to sultry steamy temperatures in a second. AND please take note of the Cemetery photos with their Bluebells and Daffodils, these pictures were snapped by me a week or so ago.

Enough of English weather lol, oh yes where was I? Saturday’s clammy sweat inducing sticky humid air, so tiring to walk through you’d imagine we lived in the Everglades!

Lol after waking Saturday morning (a night in bed all alone ahh), I made breakfast gazed out the kitchen window and thought to myself ‘yes I’ve had a long tiring week at work, but jeeze staying at home today of all days would be criminal’, so I grabbed my camera and decided to visit Oxford and wander around my home City as a sightseer, join all the other tourists taking photos…………… perhaps write a blog post?

Hold on what’s that noise I hear at the window? No word of a lie it’s frigging raining, you see what I mean, summer could be over and done with already!

Returning to this past Saturday. (If you don’t wish to read my observations of today’s pretty ladies skip a paragraph!)

I absolutely adore English hot sunny weather, the muggier stickier airless the better, and some of you may already know what I’m about to say next! At the slightest hint of stifling soupy hot temperatures ladies lose all their modesty and abandon layers of clothes, omg sweet Jesus do their clothes ever come off! Winter coats are hung up until next Tuesday and they hit the summer tee shirt chest of draws HARD and the results are gorgeously spectacular!

Look I understand I’m getting side tracked, the churches can wait I’m in free flow sharing my love of women!

The centre of my Town lies 10 minutes away, well after leaving home a hundred yards in I pass by the recreational Park and wow there stand’s a young mother wearing only a string vest with an oh so visible black bra underneath! A hundred yards further and I’m watching a mature lady approaching wearing a crisp white blouse, and the closer she gets I see she’s braless with unrestrained bundles of fun bouncing happily together, well I had to stop by the river’s bridge just to let my pulse slow down! Finally I arrive at the bus stop to Oxford and a petite very pretty young woman saunters past wearing beige HIGH cut hot pants with both buttocks hanging out!! Incredible, and I don’t know if her father had checked her dress code as she left her home? Afraid to say I hardened and twitched for a second or two 😉

These Googled images below remind me of today and all day, lol I shouldn’t share them should I but this is my blog and all that, you get the idea! 😦 We’ll be wearing winter coats by next Tuesday and sunny days of no bras and bouncing boobs will be but a memory 😦

😀 enough of sexy young women (and note sexy mature as well) let us quickly move on.

Part 1, today’s published Post, feature 2 Churches a Saxon Tower also Martyrs Memorial, I will try to be brief and to the point else this post will read as a history lesson, I DON’T want that either, you’ll have to visit Wikipedia and sift through the Fake posts for a history lesson.

Having said that, whilst wandering around Oxford’s busy Street’s alongside decanted bus loads of Japanese Tourists I suddenly thought to myself I pass these two Churches below every single day of my working week! Twice if you count in the times I pass by at 4.30pm on my way home (questioning myself ‘am I happy in my work?’ or do these feelings of discontentment plague every person who’s hit middle age?’)

Anyways enough of that silliness!

Returning to my bolt of lighting moment of revelation I did honestly realise I pass by these ancient landmarks each day, yet I know absolutely not a jot about their historical significance :/ both a sobering and rather awful admission. So this Post was a history lesson for myself as much as you lol!

Btw between both Churches lies a strip of tarmaced road, on this site a Fair comes to Oxford every year and has done for the past 400 years!

The Saxon Tower at St. Michael at the North Gate, the Tower is one of the oldest Buildings in Britain no less, and these Churches are 12th Century so we’re talking OLD!

I wonder how many people you’d have to stop in the Street before someone could describe the history behind this this ancient Saxon Tower? (They don’t allow anyone to walk to the top anymore, Why? Because people keep jumping from tall buildings in Oxford!)

Originally built around 1000–1050, with the tower from 1040 still in existence, the church is Oxford’s oldest building. It was constructed of Coral Rag and until yesterday I’d never looked closely and yes there is coral in the mix!

The Oxford Martyrs were imprisoned in the Bocardo Prison before they were burnt at the stake in what is now Broad Street nearby 1555, at that time immediately outside the city and the cell door can be seen on display in the tower.

Saint Magdalene Church

Oxford April 2018 009

This fascinating historic Church stands isolated on a traffic island at the south end of St Giles, near the Martyr’s Memorial. The first Church was built in the Saxon period and stood just outside the city walls replacing a timber church destroyed when Vikings attacked and burned most of Oxford down in 1010 and 1013.

  • The church was burnt down again in 1074, 
  • In 1194 Saint Hugh, Bishop of Lincoln, had the Church rebuilt. Work of that period survives in the east wall of the chancel wall and in the south aisle, and the altar is dedicated to St Thomas Becket.
  • By 1235 the church had an altar dedicated to the Virgin Mary. The chancel was rebuilt late in the 13th century. A century later the scholars of newly founded Balliol College had an oratory dedicated to St Catherine in the present North aisle.
  • In 1320 the Carmelites founded a chapel in the south aisle, which survives as the present Lady Chapel.
  • The west tower was built between 1511 and 1531 with stone taken from the dissolved Oxford’s Cistercian Monastery.

Saint Giles Church

OXFORD 007

Built 12th 13th Century St. Giles Church lies 500 metres North of Oxford’s old city wall, standing in open fields with no other buildings between it and the city wall. As I said earlier that’s where the North Gate Church and Saxon Tower stands. Interestingly only about a thousand people lived within the walls of Oxford at this time, you should see outer Oxford now! 

Damaged during the English Civil War when the Parliamentarian army besieged the Royalist force then defending Charles. John Goad, vicar from 1644 until 1646, is said to have led services in St. Giles during Parliamentary artillery bombardments in 1645.

Martyrs Memorial

Victorian gothic built to remember martyrs killed at the sight of execution virtually on the same spot! In 1840 when constructed it replaced tottering wooden house. 

 

Photographs by A. Shepherdson April 2018