(#MeToo themes, consequently age appropriate BUT my WordPress ISN’T an adult blog)
So have I? In my long years stalking (no walking) this planet, have I ever touched a woman inappropriately (sexually) to the point she’s had to say “No”?
And the answer is yes once.
But it’s never ever happened before or since, end of!
……………………..oh you mean you’d like to hear more? All the seedy details? Was I reported to the Police? Was I charged with sexual assault? Did she add my name to the #MeToo Twitter feed?
SO MANY QUESTIONS!
Ok before you or WordPress get their frigging knickers in a twist over my very frank and honest admission, the answer is I’ve never broken the law in my life hence I’ve never been arrested by the Police. Further, no one has ever reported me to the Police and my name isn’t linked to #MeToo, so the answer is a BIG NO to every question that’s hopefully surging your brain’s electrical circuitry right now.
Ok are we quite clear, and please don’t think I’m belittling #MeToo, as no guy ever should.
Having said all of that……..
December last year I was chastised for touching a woman’s V, but in my defence she was naked riding me reverse cowgirl at the time, consensually! However I’m fully aware a guy cannot assume he can do whatever he wishes to a woman’s body even though she’d previously agreed to have sex with him.
Similar to the majority of men across the globe I’ve followed the #MeToo debate with varying degrees of interest, not religiously but a newspaper article here, a TV news story there, HOWEVER my ears will always prick up when I hear a guy moan he no longer understands what the dating rules are anymore?
Are you aware last month Amazon announced, ’employees are allowed to ask a colleague for a date one time only’, which seems harsh when my Grandma said my Grandpa never stopped asking her out, she answered yes just to keep him quiet!
The rest is history, they reached their golden wedding together, had 3 children, 4 grandchildren and 5 great grandchildren so draw your own conclusions as to the new corporate dating policies!
Incidentally Amazon don’t care either way lol, they’re legally covering themselves and more businesses will follow.
As for guys no longer understanding dating rules, each time I hear this nonsensical argument, I shake my head because asking if #MeToo is being fair to men is a total no brainer. It’s not right to touch a woman inappropriately in 2018, as guys are fully aware, it wasn’t right to touch a woman’s body 30 years ago before asking, because well you just don’t!
It’s a no brainer argument, so why the confusion, I keep reading and hearing a small minority of men are confused? I guess the only confusion could be if a married man was wrongly accused, but that’s a whole other issue.
A woman I dated on several occasions, we didn’t have sx we were just good friends. well somehow our conversation stumbled onto tales of sx as you do, all very amusing until she said her first time wasn’t a happy experience, afterwards actually saying to herself,
“Well is that it? Is that what all the fuss was about?” in other words a considered anti-climax.
Hmm as often happens with a post I’ve gotten side tracked haven’t I, the perils of writing as you think. I began by saying I have been guilty of touching a woman inappropriately, Sarah was her name (not really), I made the mistake of touching her V without asking whilst she rode me reverse cowgirl. I touched her intimacy, she stopped bouncing up and down on my waist taking my long hardness deep inside her and having paused Sarah turned her head saying rather curtly,
“Don’t touch my foo (insert my name)”
I apologised and yes even though sex was consensual I SHOULD have asked shouldn’t I, Sarah helped me to climax and if you’re interested all was fine afterwards. We chatted laughed, drank alcohol and the incident was never spoken of again, perhaps for literary effect I’ve overplayed the episode but she chastised me with “don’t” and yes I should have asked first.
Sarah and I were cool afterward, I’d better make that very clear! And I have no idea why she didn’t wish me to touch her V? I’ve no problem with Sarah, she had the right to say no as all women do, a woman has the human right to say “STOP” at any time as do I!
Similar to most of us I’ve read true tales of sexual abuse in magazines and on the internet and I’ve even read that it’s not uncommon for a woman to say she’s been raped by her husband. The name of a specific article avoids me but I remember it took me a few seconds to process, hold on now? They are married couple ‘man and wife’, doesn’t the husband have conjugal rights? They’ve signed a betroth ‘in the eyes of God to be faithful to one another, he has the legal right to ##ck her doesn’t he?
But of course when I reflected on these marital bedroom arguments it’s absolutely clear rape can and does exist within a marriage, heavens above husbands do not have any Rights over their wives bodies. I would never assume I had a legal right to sexual intercourse, but I think if the guy’s been denied then the marriage had already passed the point of NO return.
I began this post discussing pointing out my puzzlement at a minority of men NOT understanding ‘these new dating rules of engagement’, I’ve heard them said on the TV, which leads me in very seamlessly to my own rules of dating engagement……. you get the idea.
I’m not a very tactile touchy feely sort of person, so perhaps I’m different from most men? Stretching a hand out to pat a woman’s butt cheek wouldn’t cross my mind, jeeze I’d never slap her ass and I would never place an affectionate arm round a female’s shoulder or lean in a little to close to her face, but some men still do.
I would never place my hand on her thigh, put my arm round her waist and certainly never ever grope a breast. I’d never try to steal a kiss from a lady, stroke her hair but I guess the consequences of mixed messages could perhaps come into play, you know, a date has gone particularly well so a guy might grope because he assumed sex was on the menu, but this would be a MINORITY of men.. Hmm perhaps I’m different to some men? I’d day dream of touching her breasts and pussy but I wouldn’t until asked to!!!!
However I’m most definitely far from being an angel, I’ll be the first to admit to admiring a fine looking woman from afar, appreciate her lovely hair, furtively gaze at her pert round bottom (I do this a lot ), my eyes drawn to a gorgeous pair of breasts, treasure her child bearing hips, appraise her ‘pins’ AND glance down her cleavage if the opportunity arises……….. which I most definitely do when she’s not watching! (Lol they know though 😀 )
But surely that’s ok isn’t it? Yes?
I mean as long as one doesn’t leer, side glancing at an open blouse is ok, enjoying a females sexuality solely by eyesight remains ok in 2018 doesn’t it? Like I said I’ll mull over the so called new rules and my responsibilities as regards #MeToo fallout, quite often actually, but I really am unsure if looking and appreciating beauty in a woman, is no longer socially acceptable?
Perhaps ladies HATE men looking at their bodies?
So ladies lol answer me, if you’re aware (feminine intuition and all that jazz) a guy is looking at you, enjoying your sensuality no sexuality, is that ok?
So what final conclusion could I share with you before wrapping up this post.
I would say, human male consciousness and #MeToo arguments are inextricably entwined, if any guy including myself doesn’t reflect on this statement from time to time then perhaps I and he should! However my mother brought me up to be a good boy, treat people how you wish to be treated, taught me by example how to care and empathise with my fellow man, I’m not perfect but I understand right from wrong. So Sarah I apologise (we kissed and made up), thank you for the lovely afternoon and banging alcohol induced overhang the following morning!
(And if you are curious as to why reporter Ben Brown was groping a woman’s boob live on BBC News? Neither am I? And it’s late and I cannot be frigging bothered to Google!)
© A. Shepherdson 2018.